[tires screeching]
[singing] ♪ Another perfect mornin' ♪
♪ For wakin' up my daughter ♪
♪ Another lovely day of being loved by the best father ♪
♪ I paid that bird to sing for you ♪
[bird chirping]
♪ This is why I'm never blue ♪
[bird chirping]
♪ A breakfast that consists of smiles ♪
[Augie] ♪ A dad that goes the extra mile ♪
♪ A daughter that's so pure and sweet ♪
♪ If it doesn't smile, then I won't eat ♪
♪ Skippin' with my girl to school ♪
♪ Takin' brakes for hugs ♪
♪ Stop and smell the roses ♪
[sniffing]
♪ Say hi to a bug ♪
Do I know you?
♪ Very healthy boundaries ♪
♪ Free access to my diaries ♪
♪ We're a happy family ♪
[both] ♪ All I need is you and me ♪ [continues the note]
Actually, it's dad and I, but...
[continues the note] Ee...
Doggie Daddy, we've been over this.
You can't stay in the classroom.
Please don't make me use this again.
Oh, yes, yes, of course, of course.
You know, I just... I get so wrapped up in our morning song.
Yes, we've heard this song many times.
But again, we don't need to witness this.
I'm gonna miss you so much, Augie Waugie.
Bye, Papa. See you after school.
Bye, Augles. I love you. I love you so much.
I love you so much it hurts. Oh, I love you so much--
Man, just get out of here!
[singing] ♪ Another gloomy afternoon ♪
♪ Without my precious daughter ♪
♪ What am I to do? ♪
♪ She is my oxygen, my water ♪
[tearfully] Oh, I miss her so much.
I just wish there were more Augies for me to love.
[Yogi Bear screaming]
I got this burger, but it only has one patty,
and it's making me furious.
Worry not, Yogi. With the Replicationizer 1999,
we'll simply copy the patty's molecular structure,
and I can paste it onto any object.
[electrical buzzing]
Incredible. [gulps]
Does it taste synthetic?
You know I don't chew.
Oh, right.
Oh, wow, Cindy, that is impressive, yeah.
Uh, you mind if I borrow that for a moment?
- Sure. - Yeah. I just want to test something out.
[electrical buzzing]
Should he be pointing that at me?
Absolutely not.
- [electrical buzzing] - [beeping]
[screaming]
I love you, Daddy.
It's Augie! My sweet, chubby love child.
Is this what unconditional love feels like?
Oh, thank you, Cindy, for inventing the Augie Maker 1999.
Oh, you're the best.
I gotta get better at saying no.
Yeah, agreed.
Also, uh, would you like to invest
in this new pyramid scheme I fell for?
Absolutely.
Man, school is so wack.
I'm never gonna need math
in my day-to-day life. I have an abacus.
Yeah, why don't they teach us real life stuff
like taxes and mortgages?
The machine wants to keep us patriotic and docile.
Mmm, weird.
Daddy always picks me up right after school.
Tag, you're it. [laughs]
What was that?
Augie, do you happen to have a long-lost twin?
Push me, Papa.
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, sweetie. [grunts]
Daddy, help! It's an emergency!
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! What is it?
I can't open this jar of mayo, and I'm so thirsty.
Oh, here you go, hon.
Thank you, Daddy.
[slurping]
Dad, I lost momentum.
[grunts]
[sighs] Having so many Augies around to love
sure is exhausting.
But, you know, love never takes a break.
Hey, Dad, I got a B minus in history.
Oh, that's incredible.
You know, with achievements like these,
you'll one day rule this land.
Hey, wanna parade me around town
and tell everyone how great I am?
Oh, I would love to, honey, but I...
I promised Mayor Augieberry
that I would help with some announcement.
Dear citizens,
from now on, every day will be known as Daddy Day.
[crowd cheering]
I love my dad!
Hey, this isn't too bad. You've always wanted dozens of sisters.
Nah, this is messed up.
He looks so happy without me.
Hey, maybe it's for the best.
There are plenty of dads in the sea,
getting terribly sunburned.
Yeah, maybe you're right. I gotta go sulk.
I'll see you guys later.
[singing] ♪ What am I supposed to do ♪
♪ Now that Dad is busy ♪
♪ I'll pout inside this puddle ♪
♪ Hoping that he'll miss me ♪
Can you shush up your sulking, Augie?
I'm trying to observe this daughter-duplicate situation.
I'm drownin' in daughters.
Gross.
Where did all these Augies come from anyway?
[laughs nervously] I... I... I wouldn't know.
Therefore, I am not liable for any of this.
But if you wanna make more daddies, I guess I can help.
Really? How?
Take this Replicationizer 1998.
It's an earlier version, but it should work.
Just don't tell anyone where you got it.
Wait, no. Don't aim it at me. No, no, no, no...
No one is smarter than my little girl.
You really think so?
'Cause Daddy didn't shed one tear of joy for my B minus.
Then he's a fool for not noticing your sheer brilliance.
Thanks, Doctory Daddy.
Now let's make some Dads.
[electrical buzzing]
I'm so excited to co-parent with you.
Nothing's healthier than being your daughter's best friend.
Where's my daughter?
- [clamoring] - Papa!
- Pops! - Daddy! Daddy!
Okay, sweeties, let's take turns.
I mean, come on, there's only one Daddy.
Like, uh, look at all these daughters, see.
Why don't you come give your tall Dad a hug?
Huh? Who's this wannabe?
Here's your juice box, sweetie.
And here's the science homework you needed for tomorrow.
This is the life.
Wait, where's Mr. Jinks Daddy?
I wanna do a law that makes the city one big water slide.
That would solve our public transportation issue.
Oh, who's a brilliant little Mayor?
[giggles] Me.
[exclaims] Who has full control of the city's finances?
- I do. - Jinks Daddy, I asked you to get a saddle,
so I could ride you like a horsey.
Oh, sorry, honey drop.
Augieberry showed up, and she's just the sweetest little bug.
[scoffs] No, I'm the sweetest little bug.
Oh, we can be a festering colony of sweet little bugs.
I don't like this.
I made a bunch of daddy-daughter bracelets.
Huh? Wait a minute. Where's my Augie gang?
[grunts]
So what did we learn?
Don't take poison apples from scary, sad old witches
going through mid-life crisis.
I'm flying. I'm really flying.
Unga Bunga. That's me little girl.
[thudding]
That's my little girl, even.
[both] Oh, no! Every Augie has a Daddy!
[both] Every Daddy has an Augie!
- I miss my real Augie! - I miss my real Daddy!
[both panting]
Where are you going, sweetie?
Sorry, Doctory Daddy. I gotta find my real dad.
That guy? He doesn't appreciate you like I do.
I'm a nice-guy Dad.
Yeah, but he raised me since I was, like,
a baby and everything?
I can turn you back into a baby. Look, I'll invent something.
I'm sorry, nice-guy Dad. This isn't it.
[Doggie Daddy panting]
Random security check up. Get in line!
Please, sir, can I get through? I gotta find my daughter.
You can't skip the line, Daddy. I'm always number one.
No. My real daughter is number one.
[gasps]
Unless you have an emotional monologue, I can't let you through.
Ah, nuts! Why are security guards always asking for
emotional monologues?
So that's it. All the love I gave you, for nothing?
I love you like a brother, Doctory Daddy.
The heart wants what it wants.
Then go get him. I won't stop you.
But I will definitely hold a grudge.
Okay, thank you!
[grunts] Let me in.
Listen here, everybody. My daughter's out there somewhere,
and I gotta find her before I lose her forever.
I tried filling the void with the other Augies,
but they ain't the real thing.
They are basically just little freaks of nature.
[both] I got zapped twice.
The only Auggie I need is the one I made with love.
[singing] ♪ Everyone please hear my song ♪
♪ About a daughter that I longed for ♪
♪ The real thing cannot be replaced ♪
♪ I miss her smile, her snout, her face ♪
[singing] ♪ I only need my one great dad ♪
♪ The rest they act too weird and sad ♪
[gasps] Augie, you came back!
Wait, or... Or is that Yogi Augie, or wait...
No, no, no. That's my real Augie.
[singing] ♪ My daddy is the only one for me ♪
♪ My Augie is my world, my sky, my trees ♪
♪ My daddy kisses me good morning and good night ♪
♪ Her precious smiling face ♪
♪ Will always fill me with delight ♪
♪ 'Cause no one loves me like he does ♪
That's right, honey.
[singing] ♪ My best of traits my worst of flaws ♪
Who said you have flaws?
Oh, my sweet daughter,
no one else can ever replace you.
I found a piece of gum on the ground on the way here,
and I took a little bite.
Ah, now that's the stuff.
Now that's an emotional monologue.
[both] Can you change me back? I'm feeling too many feelings.
[chuckles]
Sure.
[electrical buzzing]
Much better.
Uh...
[theme music playing]