Two straight men
But only one will win
Gayme Show!
Hello, and JoJo Siwa, everyone.
Yes, JoJo Siwa, which in this house means "peace be with you."
Yes, I'm your host, Matt Rogers.
And to piggyback off that, I'm also your host, Dave Mizzoni.
And this is "Gayme Show!,"
where we take two straight contestants and put them head-to-head
to see which one of them will be named honorarily...
Gay as fuck!
And will reign forevermore as Queen of the Straights.
Oh, yeah
Before we meet our straights, let's get to know their lifelines,
or as we call them, life partners.
First up, it's our wise queer. Please welcome John Lovett.
And now the woman who gets it– it's Robin Thede!
And with that, we're ready to meet the straights.
- Release them! - Go.
Max Silvestri once built a deck with his dad.
Will Miles watches "In Bruges," "Fight Club," and "The Big Lebowski"
whenever they're on TV.
Celebrity essences
Contestants will now be given three different clues
which, when combined, will form the essence of a particular celebrity.
Your clues are...
The top of the food chain...
Harvard Business School.
Online classes count.
And bursting out of your own birthday cake.
It's all about her. Contestants, deliberate.
So we got the concept of being on top of the food chain,
Harvard Business School,
bursting out of your own birthday cake.
Robin and Will.
We think it's...
- Tyra Banks. - Tyra Banks.
What got us to Tyra Banks?
So top of the food chain, obviously, supermodel number one.
She went to Harvard Business,
but it was, like, the night-school version, I think.
And Will thinks he remembers her jumping out of a cake.
- I feel like I do. - All a bunch of fun stuff.
What about John and Max?
- It took a bit to get to our final. - That's clear.
We landed on Gwyneth Paltrow because she's–
you know, couldn't be a richer, more successful businessperson.
- Couldn't be more. - She's got an Oscar.
- Okay, John, are you behind this?
- He has a feminine energy, so... - Yes!
I am with him...
a hundred percent.
- Yes, okay, great. - I love that.
Dave will now reveal the answer.
Go on ahead, Dave.
Would you believe it's Tyra Banks?
Yeah
If you're going to be an ally to this community,
you must be a listener.
Robin Thede will now deliver a detailed story about her life or week.
Based on that story, our straights will answer
a series of questions to determine
whether or not they've truly heard her
in a game we call...
Hear Her!
Hear Her! Hear Her!
Robin Thede, the floor is yours.
- And, babe, we're gonna hear you. - Thank you so much.
All right, over the weekend, I went to see my eight-year-old niece's
cheerleading competition at Six Flags Magic Mountain.
Even though I got there early, it took 45 minutes to get inside the park
because everyone around me was incompetent!
At one point, I passed a ride called Full Throttle,
where I heard someone saying, "Who cares if you could die on this thing?"
I finally found the theater and took my seat
just in time to watch my little niece cheer her way to victory.
Thank you, Robin Thede.
Straight boys, I hope you heard her,
because now our wise queer, John, will begin his line of questioning.
Mr. Lovett.
Question number one,
who asked the question, "Who cares if you die on this thing?"
Max.
Some guy's husband in the line of Full Throttle?
You're very close, but you did not hear me.
Yes, the correct answer was "someone."
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, these details are very important.
Max.
Pay attention.
Your next question.
What was the name of the dangerous ride Robin–
Max.
The ride was Full Throttle.
You did hear me.
We have some good listeners!
I don't think you saw the dance, but can I just–
This is hard for me to do. I'm gonna take five points away from Max.
Okay, that's right, and you are entitled to do that.
I don't like that. I don't like it.
- Yeah. - Let's go on to your final question.
How long did it take Robin to get into the park?
- Will. - 45 minutes.
You did hear me!
Yeah
Boys, it is now time for you...
To make an entrance!
Oh, serving the Christianity...
- The body of Christ! - Are we getting...
A tear-away!
Is that Jude Law herself?
Oh, my word!
Honest to God,
thank you!
A-frickin'-men!
Oh, is this some sort of Wild West moment?
Here's Will Miles. The Wild, Wild West!
Oh, a tumbleweed!
Yes, perfect. Rope that thing!
Yes!
Ride 'em, cowboy!
These tumbleweeds were found on the 101.
John, let's go to you.
That entrance–how are you feeling?
I'm feeling a lot of things.
There is excitement.
- There's pride. - Yes.
I'm not gonna lie.
At least 10% to 15% straight-up attraction.
- Yeah, there's a lot of arousal... - And that's really important, too.
- And it's worth highlighting. - Yeah.
I've never been prouder of Max in my life.
He Vati-can get it.
Robin Thede, how are you feeling?
Yes, it takes a lot of talent to be the original gay, a cowboy.
- Mm-hmm. - The point is,
is that a black man came out with a rope and committed to a bit.
- You crossed a lot of barriers just... - I did, right?
Just personally to be able to make that happen.
I'm just really proud of you.
No shade, but anybody can come out and strip.
The crowning
Gentlemen, tonight you've undergone a transformation
that rivals that of Anne Hathaway in "The Princess Diaries."
And now, the winner of "Gayme Show!,"
named honorarily gay as fuck and Queen of the Straights is...
Max Silvestri!
Take your scepter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
"The Gayme Show!"
See you next time, and...
JoJo Siwa!
"The Gayme Show!"