- ♪ Two straight men ♪
♪ But only one will win ♪
♪ Oh oh ♪
VONZELL: ♪ Gayme show! ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Hello, and JoJo Siwa, everyone.
- Yes, JoJo Siwa, which in this house means
peace be with you. - Yes, I'm your host Matt Rogers.
- And to piggyback off that, I'm also your host, Dave Mizzoni.
And this is "Gayme Show,"
where we take two straight contestants and put them head-to-head
to see which one of them will be named honorarily...
ALL: Gay as fuck!
- And will reign forevermore as Queen of the Straights.
- ♪ Oh yeah-eah ♪
- Before we meet our straights, let's get to know their lifelines,
or as we call them, life partners.
First up, it's our wise queer. Please welcome John Lovett.
[cheers and applause]
- And now the woman who gets it-- it's Robin Thede!
And with that, we're ready to meet the straights.
- Release them! - Go.
- Max Silvestri once built a deck with his dad.
- Will Miles watches "In Bruges," "Fight Club," and "The Big Lebowski"
whenever they're on TV.
- ♪ Celebrity essences ♪
- Contestants will now be given three different clues
which, when combined, will form the essence of a particular celebrity.
Your clues are...
The top of the food chain...
- Rraaw!
- Harvard Business School.
- Online classes count.
- And bursting out of your own birthday cake.
It's all about her. Contestants, deliberate.
[clock ticking]
So we got the concept of being on top of the food chain,
Harvard Business School,
bursting out of your own birthday cake.
Robin and Will.
- We think it's...
BOTH: Tyra Banks. - Tyra Banks.
- What got us to Tyra Banks? - So top of the food chain obviously
is supermodel number one. - She's top of the food chain.
- She went to Harvard Business,
but it was like the night school version, I think.
And Will thinks he remembers her jumping out of a cake.
- I feel like I do. - All a bunch of fun stuff.
What about John and Max?
- It took a bit to get to our final.
- That's clear. - We landed on Gwyneth Paltrow
because she's, you know, couldn't be a richer, more successful businessperson.
- Couldn't be more. - She's got an Oscar.
- Okay, John, are you behind this?
- He has a feminine energy, so... - Yes!
- I am with him...
a hundred percent.
- Yes, okay, great.
Dave will now reveal the answer.
Go on ahead, Dave.
Would you believe it's Tyra Banks?
[cheering, chatter]
VONZELL: ♪ Yeah-eah ♪
- If you're going to be an ally to this community,
you must be a listener.
- Robin Thede will now deliver
a detailed story about her life or week.
MATT: Based on that story, our straights will answer
a series of questions to determine
whether or not they've truly heard her
in a game we call...
- ♪ Hear her ♪
♪ Hear her, hear her ♪
Shh!
- Robin Thede, the floor is yours, and babe,
we're gonna hear you. - Thank you so much.
All right, over the weekend, I went to see my eight-year-old niece's
cheerleading competition at Six Flags, Magic Mountain.
Even though I got there early, it took 45 minutes to get inside the park
because everyone around me was incompetent!
At one point, I passed a ride called Full Throttle
where I heard someone saying, "Who cares if you could die on this thing?"
I finally found the theater and took my seat
just in time to watch my little niece cheer her way to victory.
DAVE: Thank you, Robin Thede.
- Straight boys, I hope you heard her,
because now our wise queen John will begin his line of questioning.
Mr. Lovett.
- Question number one,
who asked the question, "Who cares if you die on this thing?"
[buzzer] - Max.
- Some guy's husband in the line of Full Throttle?
- You're very close, but you did not hear me.
MATT: Oh! - The correct answer was "someone."
ROBIN: Yeah, yeah. [laughter]
- Yes, these details are very important.
- Max.
Pay--pay attention.
- Your next question.
- What was the name of the dangerous ride Robin
JOHN: Walked past? - Matt.
- The ride was Full Throttle.
- You did hear me.
[overlapping chatter, applause]
- We have some good listeners!
- I don't think you saw the dance, but can I just--
this is hard for me to do-- I'm gonna take five points away from Max.
- Okay, that's right, and you are entitled to do that.
- I just--I don't that--I don't like it.
- Yeah. - Let's go on to your final question.
- How long did it take Robin to get into the park?
- Will. - 45 minutes.
- You did hear me!
[whooping, applause, chatter]
VONZELL: ♪ Yeah-eah-ah ♪
- Boys, it is now time for you...
ALL: To make an entrance!
DAVE: Oh, serving the Christianity...
MATT: The body of Christ! DAVE: Are we getting...
[cheers and applause]
Is that Jude Law herself?
That--oh, my word!
Honest to God,
thank you!
[western music]
DAVE: Oh, is this some sort of Wild West moment?
Here's Will Miles... the Wild, Wild West!
MATT: Oh, a tumbleweed!
DAVE: Yes, perfect. Rope that thing!
MATT: Yes!
Right 'em, cowboy!
- These tumbleweeds were found on the 101.
[laughter]
John, let's go to you.
That entrance--how are you feeling?
- Um, I'm feeling a lot of things,
uh, there is excitement,
there's pride. - Yes.
- I'm not gonna lie.
At least 10 to 15%... straight up attraction.
- Yeah, there's a lot of arousal... - And that's really important too
and it's worth highlighting. - Yeah.
- I've never been prouder of Max in my life.
- He [indistinct].
- Robin Thedes, how are you feeling?
- Yes, it takes a lot of talent to be the original gay, a cowboy.
- Mm-hmm. - The point is
is that a black man came out with a rope and committed to a bit.
You crossed a lot of barriers just... - I did, right?
- Just personally, to be able to make that happen.
I'm just really proud of you.
No shade, but anybody can come out and strip.
[applause]
- ♪ The crowning ♪
- Gentlemen, tonight you've undergone a transformation
that rivals that of Anne Hathaway in "The Princess Diaries."
[laughter]
- And now, the winner of "Gayme Show"
named honorarily gay as fuck and Queen of the Straights is...
BOTH: Max Silvestri!
[cheers and applause]
[electronic dance music]
- Take your scepter.
VONZELL: ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ The Gayme Show! ♪
- See you next time, and...
BOTH: JoJo Siwa!
[bright music]
VONZELL: ♪ The Gayme Show! ♪