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ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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The year is 50 B.C.
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All of Gaul is under Roman occupation.
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All of it?
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No!
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One village of indomitable Gauls
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keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
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And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
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in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
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What I love in life
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Is wandering day and night
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In the forest what's really fun
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Is going for a wander with my chum
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It rhymes.
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Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
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Too much meat.
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- Too much meat?
- Sure.
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Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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Supper, too!
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Not to mention ale.
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It can't be good for us.
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What else is there to eat?
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I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
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vegetables.
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Veg...
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Vegetables?
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You make me laugh, Asterix.
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Hear him, Dogmatix?
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Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
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Vegetables!
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You can laugh.
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I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
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Same with the magic potion.
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Could be, it's bad for our systems.
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Where's the data, honestly? Where?
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Above all, do we really need it?
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You okay?
38
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No, I'm not okay.
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I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
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Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
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You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
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Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
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Ave! Sorry, we're lost.
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Who knew we're so near the village?
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Me. I kept telling you.
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- Didn't.
- Did.
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And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!"
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"They get up my nose."
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"They can shove their menhirs."
50
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I'm a terrible liar.
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Leave this to me.
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I'll show you I don't need this.
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Strength is here.
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And here.
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Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show.
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Hello.
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Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
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You plan to step in?
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No, not allowed.
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Help me, silly!
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Harder!
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Not fair!
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Cheat!
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Not at all. Without it, same result.
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You don't have to.
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I do.
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{\an8}THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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Where is everyone?
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It's hardly fresh.
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- And you are?
- What?
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No, nothing.
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{\an8}Getafix, he won't let me
smoke my boar in the house.
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{\an8}Just because
Mr. Asterix has decided to quit
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doesn't mean I have to.
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Panacea!
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Panacea!
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Morning, girls.
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- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
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Hi, Panacea.
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Hi, Obelix.
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I just wanted to say...
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I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
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Sweet, but what use is it to me?
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See you.
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She refused it.
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She refused my menhir.
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Obviously. It weighs a ton.
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What use is it? Put it on her finger?
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Getafix, your sickle.
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Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
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Slow down.
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Say...
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{\an8}Asterix has the right to change his diet.
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{\an8}Not everyone else's.
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Getafix, what's wrong?
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I'm sinking.
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You're sinking?
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It must be quicksand.
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There is no quicksand in the region.
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If you ask me, someone needs to know.
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{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
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{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
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{\an8}Excuse me.
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{\an8}Some nights, my voice just wants to scream
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Shut it, will you!
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{\an8}For once, I had a customer.
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{\an8}For once, you have fresh fish!
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What? My fish isn't fresh?
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{\an8}I'll take a look.
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{\an8}for Louise and Marcel
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Hold still.
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Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn.
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You were hit?
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- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
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My friends, how are you?
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I come from China to ask for help.
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It's nuts!
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Why are you blond?
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I was going to say.
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I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been.
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Please... No slip-ups.
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No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
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I'll explain. Come on.
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That one...
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The beautiful girl fast asleep
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is a princess.
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Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
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You do know where China is?
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- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
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That's her bodyguard. Ka Ra Tay.
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Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
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She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
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A beautiful woman.
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A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh!
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Go ahead, laugh.
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Share with us your Alpha male experience.
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Alpha male, just try to touch her.
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- Be my guest.
- All right.
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There you go!
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You drank potion?
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No.
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I don't get it.
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I get what's going on.
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And you'd better stop right now.
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Princess and I are more than friends, see?
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- You are?
- We are.
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Princess...
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We have arrived.
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What is all this?
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- It's the chief!
- Run!
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Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls.
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Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
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Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
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Really?
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He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
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- No.
- He's a crook!
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He sent me. Let me explain.
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Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
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daughter of the Empress of China.
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Who's she?
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- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
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Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
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Getafix, is China far?
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Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
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Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
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and not devoid of emotion,
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allow me to give you a potted version.
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The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
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who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
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over her nation's six kingdoms.
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Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes
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who secretly covet her throne.
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The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
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whom you met in the village.
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So this is a flashback.
176
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Another vase?
177
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Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
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I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
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Sa See, for your security, you know...
180
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Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
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I want to see Gaul.
182
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We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
183
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The answer is no.
184
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Here, open this one.
185
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It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
186
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To buy a dress in Lutetia?
187
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Sa See!
188
00:12:14,711 --> 00:12:16,211
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
189
00:12:19,669 --> 00:12:22,377
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
190
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while your people endure famine.
191
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,002
If I may, Your Majesty,
192
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Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
193
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No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
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Who is he?
195
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Scar Dee Kat, my new strategic advisor.
196
00:12:36,961 --> 00:12:39,836
In Rome, he wielded power and influence.
197
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Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
198
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Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
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Before I leave,
200
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have you considered my marriage proposal?
201
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I spoke with Princess Sa See.
202
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And?
203
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It made us laugh.
204
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Make a woman laugh and...
205
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Sorry.
206
00:13:04,877 --> 00:13:07,502
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
207
00:13:07,502 --> 00:13:08,877
then so be it.
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Ka Ra Tay...
209
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My faithful warrior,
210
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fetch my daughter.
211
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This is China.
212
00:13:48,419 --> 00:13:51,669
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
213
00:13:51,669 --> 00:13:54,169
For a Phoenician,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
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Ekonomikrisix!
215
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,669
Get it into your head!
216
00:13:58,669 --> 00:14:01,086
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
217
00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:02,961
We are Gauls.
218
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Gotix?
219
00:14:03,961 --> 00:14:05,877
As usual, we make all the efforts.
220
00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:07,461
Only you?
221
00:14:10,669 --> 00:14:12,294
Laugh? You're laughing?
222
00:14:12,294 --> 00:14:14,586
Am I laughing about going blond?
223
00:14:15,252 --> 00:14:17,794
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
224
00:14:17,794 --> 00:14:19,919
Go, yalla! I mean, let's go.
225
00:14:19,919 --> 00:14:21,919
Put those helmets on! There!
226
00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:23,544
Let's go!
227
00:14:23,544 --> 00:14:24,877
China is ours!
228
00:14:26,544 --> 00:14:27,627
No snooping.
229
00:14:28,211 --> 00:14:29,669
You need help?
230
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,211
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
231
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They're genuine Louboutix?
232
00:14:33,419 --> 00:14:35,127
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
233
00:14:35,127 --> 00:14:37,836
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
234
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:41,711
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
235
00:14:43,419 --> 00:14:46,419
Give my stall some space. Scram!
236
00:14:47,336 --> 00:14:48,502
You nincompoop!
237
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Sorry, Her Majesty.
238
00:14:50,836 --> 00:14:52,461
Sorry for my nephew.
239
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He has his mother's temper.
240
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True, everybody says so.
241
00:14:56,627 --> 00:14:59,627
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
242
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I'll take them out of his wages.
243
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- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
244
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Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
245
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:08,586
No one shakes hands here.
246
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- No one.
- Not one.
247
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A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
248
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Gorgeous.
249
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Bankruptix, the nephew.
250
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I have my mother's temper.
251
00:15:21,294 --> 00:15:22,377
As well as...
252
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her eyes.
253
00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:28,627
I envy you your blond hair.
254
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:32,544
I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
255
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Nature decided for me.
256
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Your Imperial Majesty,
257
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:41,669
if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
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the honour's all ours.
259
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Come in.
260
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A great vintage.
261
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:50,461
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
262
00:15:51,961 --> 00:15:53,627
On the nose, fruity notes.
263
00:15:54,169 --> 00:15:55,252
There's sunshine.
264
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There's pine and shade.
265
00:15:57,669 --> 00:15:59,877
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
266
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Bananas.
267
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,752
And dates.
268
00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:05,877
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
269
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:11,502
I want Gaul of it
270
00:16:21,086 --> 00:16:22,127
I'll take the lot.
271
00:16:25,544 --> 00:16:26,794
Perfumes from Gaul?
272
00:16:26,794 --> 00:16:28,711
But of course, Princess.
273
00:16:28,711 --> 00:16:30,711
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
274
00:16:30,711 --> 00:16:32,252
Like me and my sales team.
275
00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:35,336
This is the latest creation
276
00:16:35,336 --> 00:16:38,252
that every Gaul lady
would die for. Amphor.
277
00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:39,794
Amphor?
278
00:16:40,294 --> 00:16:41,377
I adore!
279
00:16:41,377 --> 00:16:42,711
I adore, too.
280
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,127
Archers! Loose!
281
00:16:44,127 --> 00:16:45,169
Watch out!
282
00:16:53,127 --> 00:16:54,544
Sa See, are you hurt?
283
00:16:54,544 --> 00:16:55,961
No, mother, I'm fine.
284
00:16:55,961 --> 00:16:56,877
Anything broken?
285
00:16:56,877 --> 00:16:58,669
No, I'm fine.
286
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,044
I meant the stock.
287
00:17:00,044 --> 00:17:01,127
Nice.
288
00:17:01,127 --> 00:17:02,544
Hey, Empress!
289
00:17:02,544 --> 00:17:03,877
Come out, hands up!
290
00:17:03,877 --> 00:17:06,086
And no one will get hurt.
291
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:07,711
You're encircled.
292
00:17:07,711 --> 00:17:09,044
And slanted!
293
00:17:11,294 --> 00:17:14,086
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
294
00:17:14,086 --> 00:17:15,544
And I added "And..."
295
00:17:20,002 --> 00:17:21,002
There's another exit?
296
00:17:21,002 --> 00:17:22,669
Yes. My secret passage.
297
00:17:22,669 --> 00:17:24,627
In case customs raid...
298
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,377
I mean, in case of fire.
299
00:17:26,377 --> 00:17:28,086
It's the fire escape.
300
00:17:28,961 --> 00:17:31,211
Ka Ra Tay, take my daughter and go.
301
00:17:31,211 --> 00:17:33,002
No, Mother. Flee with us.
302
00:17:33,002 --> 00:17:35,127
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
303
00:17:35,127 --> 00:17:36,752
The traitor wants you.
304
00:17:37,252 --> 00:17:38,086
Let's go.
305
00:17:39,877 --> 00:17:41,252
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
306
00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:44,461
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
307
00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:45,919
Like a ship's captain.
308
00:17:47,877 --> 00:17:49,252
Go home and fetch the others.
309
00:17:49,252 --> 00:17:50,627
What? Uncle Mahmood?
310
00:17:50,627 --> 00:17:52,461
No! Our other home.
311
00:17:52,461 --> 00:17:53,836
- That home?
- That home!
312
00:17:53,836 --> 00:17:54,877
It's miles away!
313
00:17:54,877 --> 00:17:56,002
So get going!
314
00:17:57,127 --> 00:17:58,086
No, wait!
315
00:17:58,752 --> 00:18:00,461
Take good care of the princess.
316
00:18:00,461 --> 00:18:02,002
We are not losing this sale.
317
00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:05,502
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
318
00:18:13,086 --> 00:18:14,461
I'll work it out later.
319
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,669
Take care, Unc!
320
00:18:20,711 --> 00:18:22,836
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
321
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:23,919
Leave this to me.
322
00:18:24,877 --> 00:18:27,127
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
323
00:18:32,627 --> 00:18:34,502
I went in there and...
324
00:18:35,669 --> 00:18:36,836
What happened?
325
00:18:36,836 --> 00:18:38,627
You got kicked in the head.
326
00:18:39,294 --> 00:18:41,044
All right, I get it now.
327
00:18:41,044 --> 00:18:43,169
So who's laughing now, Empress?
328
00:18:43,169 --> 00:18:45,377
Excuse me a second, who are you?
329
00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:48,669
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
330
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:51,711
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
331
00:18:51,711 --> 00:18:54,169
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
332
00:18:54,669 --> 00:18:56,627
A shifty little fish!
333
00:18:57,794 --> 00:18:58,836
Scour the kingdom!
334
00:18:58,836 --> 00:19:00,377
Offer a handsome reward!
335
00:19:00,377 --> 00:19:03,627
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
336
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,461
I know my daughter.
337
00:19:07,961 --> 00:19:09,377
She'll come for revenge.
338
00:19:09,377 --> 00:19:12,627
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
339
00:19:12,627 --> 00:19:14,794
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
340
00:19:14,794 --> 00:19:18,794
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
341
00:19:18,794 --> 00:19:20,794
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
342
00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:23,794
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
343
00:19:23,794 --> 00:19:26,586
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
344
00:19:26,586 --> 00:19:27,961
What?
345
00:19:27,961 --> 00:19:31,211
It's tricky.
The other four kingdoms' princes hate you.
346
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,711
They claim you're not Emperor material.
347
00:19:33,711 --> 00:19:37,002
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
348
00:19:37,002 --> 00:19:38,669
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
349
00:19:39,169 --> 00:19:41,586
A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them.
350
00:19:41,586 --> 00:19:43,461
In combat, it's hopeless.
351
00:19:43,461 --> 00:19:46,211
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
352
00:19:46,211 --> 00:19:47,461
Naturally.
353
00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:49,669
My idea...
354
00:19:51,627 --> 00:19:53,419
Take them away! Let's go!
355
00:19:53,419 --> 00:19:54,711
Take it easy!
356
00:19:54,711 --> 00:19:57,502
Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares.
357
00:19:57,502 --> 00:19:59,502
China is ours!
358
00:20:31,419 --> 00:20:32,961
Princess, it'll be fine.
359
00:20:32,961 --> 00:20:34,086
I'm here for you.
360
00:20:35,252 --> 00:20:36,336
I'm here.
361
00:20:38,336 --> 00:20:39,877
Don't worry. We'll help you.
362
00:20:39,877 --> 00:20:43,586
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
363
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:44,502
No!
364
00:20:47,002 --> 00:20:48,086
Not a chance.
365
00:20:48,627 --> 00:20:50,919
Was it just me or did her story drag on?
366
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:56,377
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
367
00:20:57,044 --> 00:20:58,377
Vitalstatistix,
368
00:20:58,377 --> 00:20:59,752
it's a tradition
369
00:20:59,752 --> 00:21:01,877
for us to help those in need.
370
00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:04,544
Not forgetting Bankrup...
371
00:21:05,252 --> 00:21:06,169
Tis.
372
00:21:06,169 --> 00:21:07,544
Bankruptix.
373
00:21:08,086 --> 00:21:09,502
The answer's no. There!
374
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:11,044
It's often been yes.
375
00:21:11,044 --> 00:21:11,961
But it's no.
376
00:21:12,627 --> 00:21:14,044
I'm not feeling it.
377
00:21:14,044 --> 00:21:15,544
China's unknown to us.
378
00:21:15,544 --> 00:21:17,294
We don't know where it is.
379
00:21:17,294 --> 00:21:18,252
Sure we do.
380
00:21:18,252 --> 00:21:19,336
Even I know.
381
00:21:19,836 --> 00:21:22,502
It's the way where the sun rises.
382
00:21:23,252 --> 00:21:24,502
Stumped him.
383
00:21:25,002 --> 00:21:26,711
I don't know and I decide.
384
00:21:26,711 --> 00:21:28,794
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
385
00:21:28,794 --> 00:21:31,294
I depart to save my mother and country.
386
00:21:31,294 --> 00:21:32,627
Princess!
387
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,544
I'm up for it.
388
00:21:37,086 --> 00:21:39,836
And anyway, I'm free right now.
389
00:21:41,002 --> 00:21:42,294
I'm free too.
390
00:21:42,294 --> 00:21:44,086
I want to go too.
391
00:21:44,086 --> 00:21:46,252
You two! Who's in the chair?
392
00:21:47,544 --> 00:21:48,919
You're chief now?
393
00:21:49,502 --> 00:21:51,377
Discussion over. It's no.
394
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:53,377
Are you out of your mind?
395
00:21:54,086 --> 00:21:55,669
Some village chief!
396
00:21:56,169 --> 00:21:58,044
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
397
00:21:58,044 --> 00:22:00,044
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
398
00:22:00,044 --> 00:22:02,919
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
399
00:22:03,502 --> 00:22:04,544
You and your Gaul!
400
00:22:05,294 --> 00:22:06,836
All because it's too far?
401
00:22:06,836 --> 00:22:08,669
As if you'd be going!
402
00:22:10,044 --> 00:22:12,461
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
403
00:22:14,044 --> 00:22:16,419
If some idiot writes our history one day,
404
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:19,877
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
405
00:22:19,877 --> 00:22:21,627
Dogmatix travels more than you.
406
00:22:22,461 --> 00:22:23,586
Hear that, Dogmatix?
407
00:22:26,377 --> 00:22:27,586
Stones fired!
408
00:22:27,586 --> 00:22:31,002
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
409
00:22:31,002 --> 00:22:33,461
But anything more delicate, you're out?
410
00:22:42,669 --> 00:22:43,669
All right, go.
411
00:22:46,752 --> 00:22:48,502
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
412
00:22:49,294 --> 00:22:52,794
So you're starting on a journey
413
00:22:53,627 --> 00:22:55,877
So we're parting tonight
414
00:22:57,919 --> 00:22:59,211
My heart has turned to...
415
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,252
jelly
416
00:23:08,877 --> 00:23:12,836
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
417
00:23:12,836 --> 00:23:15,961
Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace,
418
00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:19,419
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
419
00:23:19,419 --> 00:23:22,044
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
420
00:23:22,044 --> 00:23:23,711
I've had it up to here!
421
00:23:23,711 --> 00:23:26,586
Know what? I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:33,336
May I ask what you're doing?
423
00:23:33,336 --> 00:23:35,877
Packing my trunks and heading home.
424
00:23:35,877 --> 00:23:37,586
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
425
00:23:39,086 --> 00:23:41,919
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
426
00:23:41,919 --> 00:23:43,377
What do you mean?
427
00:23:45,002 --> 00:23:46,461
You can't be serious.
428
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:49,877
What do you mean, another man?
429
00:23:50,544 --> 00:23:53,252
What is this? Infidelitatis?
430
00:23:53,252 --> 00:23:54,211
Nailed it.
431
00:23:56,336 --> 00:23:57,252
And...
432
00:23:58,794 --> 00:24:01,669
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
433
00:24:03,044 --> 00:24:04,252
Tabascos!
434
00:24:05,586 --> 00:24:06,419
Tabascos?
435
00:24:06,419 --> 00:24:07,544
The Greek?
436
00:24:11,169 --> 00:24:13,252
Tabascos the Greek!
437
00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:16,211
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
438
00:24:17,794 --> 00:24:19,752
to shack up with a gym teacher?
439
00:24:21,377 --> 00:24:24,169
Well, we'll discuss this after the lions.
440
00:24:25,169 --> 00:24:27,127
I forbid you to harm him.
441
00:24:28,169 --> 00:24:29,752
I love him, you hear?
442
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:31,461
You love him?
443
00:24:32,877 --> 00:24:34,086
You love him?
444
00:24:35,627 --> 00:24:36,919
What's he got that I don't?
445
00:24:36,919 --> 00:24:39,252
He's an international gymnast.
446
00:24:39,252 --> 00:24:41,836
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
447
00:24:43,961 --> 00:24:46,044
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
448
00:24:46,669 --> 00:24:50,461
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
449
00:24:50,461 --> 00:24:53,127
{\an8}Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
450
00:24:54,836 --> 00:24:56,669
May I, O Caesar?
451
00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:59,419
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
452
00:25:00,211 --> 00:25:04,211
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
453
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:05,127
Ave, Caesar!
454
00:25:05,127 --> 00:25:07,919
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
455
00:25:16,211 --> 00:25:18,086
May I introduce Scar Dee Kat,
456
00:25:18,086 --> 00:25:22,544
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
457
00:25:22,544 --> 00:25:26,211
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
458
00:25:26,794 --> 00:25:29,502
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
459
00:25:29,502 --> 00:25:31,252
Some men have neither.
460
00:25:34,502 --> 00:25:35,669
She's a looker.
461
00:25:36,169 --> 00:25:37,044
Well, half-pint?
462
00:25:37,044 --> 00:25:41,086
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
463
00:25:41,086 --> 00:25:43,586
in return for modest military support.
464
00:25:43,586 --> 00:25:47,211
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
465
00:25:47,211 --> 00:25:51,294
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
466
00:25:51,294 --> 00:25:53,502
I have conquered enough.
467
00:25:53,502 --> 00:25:56,877
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
468
00:25:56,877 --> 00:25:59,586
I love when you say that. Love it!
469
00:25:59,586 --> 00:26:01,919
What a way with words. Right?
470
00:26:01,919 --> 00:26:04,044
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
471
00:26:04,044 --> 00:26:08,169
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
472
00:26:08,169 --> 00:26:09,669
Vade retro, both of you.
473
00:26:09,669 --> 00:26:11,294
Caesar, may I point out,
474
00:26:11,294 --> 00:26:13,086
in terms of going down in history,
475
00:26:13,586 --> 00:26:15,669
in China, you are unknown.
476
00:26:15,669 --> 00:26:17,252
What was I saying?
477
00:26:18,627 --> 00:26:20,502
That's quite enough!
478
00:26:21,919 --> 00:26:24,419
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
479
00:26:24,419 --> 00:26:25,794
Unknown?
480
00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:26,877
Alas!
481
00:26:38,711 --> 00:26:40,252
He speaks the truth.
482
00:26:40,252 --> 00:26:41,502
In China, at least.
483
00:26:41,502 --> 00:26:43,919
It's all good, don't worry.
484
00:26:44,419 --> 00:26:47,961
Scar Dee Kat, step forward
to discuss our alliance
485
00:26:48,461 --> 00:26:49,502
with your land
486
00:26:49,502 --> 00:26:51,794
that will soon know my name!
487
00:26:54,127 --> 00:26:57,627
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
488
00:27:01,919 --> 00:27:04,461
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
489
00:27:04,461 --> 00:27:07,752
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
490
00:27:08,336 --> 00:27:09,669
I added boar stomachs.
491
00:27:10,877 --> 00:27:13,377
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
492
00:27:14,461 --> 00:27:15,586
The sunroof!
493
00:27:16,877 --> 00:27:18,044
You know what?
494
00:27:18,044 --> 00:27:19,502
I made a perfect chariot.
495
00:27:20,002 --> 00:27:20,919
Magnificent.
496
00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:26,252
Let's go!
497
00:27:27,877 --> 00:27:29,919
Princess, if you'd care to board.
498
00:27:34,169 --> 00:27:35,002
Too bad.
499
00:27:36,919 --> 00:27:38,252
We'll have a great trip.
500
00:27:40,086 --> 00:27:43,502
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
501
00:27:43,502 --> 00:27:46,836
but Obelix tells me
you don't need it, so I...
502
00:27:46,836 --> 00:27:48,711
No, that's fine.
503
00:27:51,586 --> 00:27:52,752
But just in case.
504
00:27:54,336 --> 00:27:55,669
I'm cutting down.
505
00:27:55,669 --> 00:27:58,086
Watch out, I beefed it up.
506
00:28:04,252 --> 00:28:05,336
You had some?
507
00:28:06,586 --> 00:28:08,252
No, just a quick taste.
508
00:28:08,252 --> 00:28:09,627
Just to see.
509
00:28:12,336 --> 00:28:13,586
Good luck, Princess.
510
00:28:14,336 --> 00:28:15,211
As for you two,
511
00:28:15,711 --> 00:28:17,627
be brave, reckless
512
00:28:17,627 --> 00:28:20,127
and disingenuous. In a word...
513
00:28:20,627 --> 00:28:21,627
Be Gauls!
514
00:28:23,752 --> 00:28:24,794
Hold on tight.
515
00:28:25,294 --> 00:28:28,127
It'll be much faster than on the way here.
516
00:28:30,836 --> 00:28:33,252
Sorry but can I just point out,
517
00:28:33,919 --> 00:28:37,836
the bard's role is
to celebrate heroes and their exploits?
518
00:28:39,294 --> 00:28:41,544
If I never travel, what am I?
519
00:28:43,044 --> 00:28:43,961
Excellent idea.
520
00:28:44,877 --> 00:28:46,419
Cacophonix will go with...
521
00:28:51,461 --> 00:28:53,002
They forgot me.
522
00:28:53,836 --> 00:28:56,794
They forgot me!
523
00:29:02,377 --> 00:29:05,711
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
524
00:29:05,711 --> 00:29:09,294
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
525
00:29:09,294 --> 00:29:11,294
is faster than the Silk Road.
526
00:29:12,044 --> 00:29:14,752
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
527
00:29:14,752 --> 00:29:16,127
thanks to Obelix,
528
00:29:16,127 --> 00:29:18,336
they reach northern Africa.
529
00:29:24,919 --> 00:29:26,419
Rub and wring.
530
00:29:27,002 --> 00:29:28,877
Ka Ra Tay, I asked to learn kung fu.
531
00:29:31,752 --> 00:29:32,877
Rub...
532
00:29:33,919 --> 00:29:35,086
and wring.
533
00:29:42,044 --> 00:29:43,252
No, not again.
534
00:29:44,836 --> 00:29:46,752
All good? Enjoying the show?
535
00:29:46,752 --> 00:29:49,544
Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up.
536
00:29:50,669 --> 00:29:53,294
Not coming up! What are you doing?
537
00:29:53,294 --> 00:29:54,419
Same as you.
538
00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:56,252
She knows you peep?
539
00:29:56,252 --> 00:29:57,627
I might tell her.
540
00:30:01,336 --> 00:30:02,169
Sublime!
541
00:30:03,086 --> 00:30:04,877
She's learning to do laundry
542
00:30:04,877 --> 00:30:08,419
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
543
00:30:09,419 --> 00:30:12,169
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
544
00:30:12,169 --> 00:30:13,252
Don't make me laugh.
545
00:30:13,752 --> 00:30:16,836
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn Deaf?
546
00:30:16,836 --> 00:30:20,169
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
547
00:30:20,169 --> 00:30:21,252
Really?
548
00:30:21,877 --> 00:30:23,127
No way!
549
00:30:23,127 --> 00:30:25,044
My friends, once and for all,
550
00:30:25,044 --> 00:30:28,086
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
551
00:30:29,336 --> 00:30:31,419
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
552
00:30:31,419 --> 00:30:33,252
I love weddings. Love them.
553
00:30:33,252 --> 00:30:35,169
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
554
00:30:35,169 --> 00:30:37,461
Know what? You'll be my best man.
555
00:30:38,461 --> 00:30:40,586
Thank you. I was never anyone's best man.
556
00:30:40,586 --> 00:30:43,586
Can you stop being so gullible?
557
00:30:43,586 --> 00:30:44,877
It gets annoying.
558
00:30:44,877 --> 00:30:47,502
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
559
00:30:47,502 --> 00:30:49,044
They're not in love.
560
00:30:49,044 --> 00:30:51,586
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
561
00:30:51,586 --> 00:30:52,794
It's on.
562
00:30:52,794 --> 00:30:56,044
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her
563
00:30:56,794 --> 00:30:59,002
you're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
564
00:30:59,002 --> 00:31:03,419
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
565
00:31:03,419 --> 00:31:04,919
What about it?
566
00:31:04,919 --> 00:31:06,169
Your moustache...
567
00:31:07,336 --> 00:31:08,377
sucks.
568
00:31:11,627 --> 00:31:12,544
So lame.
569
00:31:15,377 --> 00:31:16,294
I went too far.
570
00:31:16,294 --> 00:31:17,544
Not the moustache!
571
00:31:17,544 --> 00:31:19,127
I know, but he pushes me.
572
00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:21,002
Sure but not the moustache!
573
00:31:22,002 --> 00:31:22,919
What's he doing?
574
00:31:23,669 --> 00:31:25,919
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
575
00:31:25,919 --> 00:31:28,044
He's something else, your friend!
576
00:31:28,044 --> 00:31:29,086
She's coming our way.
577
00:31:31,836 --> 00:31:32,711
What's up?
578
00:31:32,711 --> 00:31:36,086
Nothing. We're just looking for a date.
579
00:31:37,127 --> 00:31:38,336
For the wedding.
580
00:31:38,336 --> 00:31:40,127
No, to eat. The fruit!
581
00:31:40,127 --> 00:31:41,169
At the wedding.
582
00:31:41,169 --> 00:31:42,544
No, to eat here.
583
00:31:42,544 --> 00:31:43,627
I'm the best man!
584
00:31:44,211 --> 00:31:46,794
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
585
00:31:48,211 --> 00:31:49,336
Yes, let's go.
586
00:31:51,502 --> 00:31:53,502
Is it so hard to let me do the talking?
587
00:31:59,711 --> 00:32:01,211
'Night, Smartypants!
588
00:32:02,752 --> 00:32:04,336
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
589
00:32:05,919 --> 00:32:07,127
'Night, Veggie Lover!
590
00:32:07,711 --> 00:32:10,377
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
591
00:32:10,377 --> 00:32:12,086
'Night, Fake Blonde!
592
00:32:12,086 --> 00:32:14,586
Can't you just say goodnight?
593
00:32:15,627 --> 00:32:16,669
It was him.
594
00:32:16,669 --> 00:32:18,002
'Night, Ka Ra Tay.
595
00:32:24,252 --> 00:32:26,377
You think Mother's still alive?
596
00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:29,836
The Empress is
the daughter of the heavens.
597
00:32:30,336 --> 00:32:31,544
No harm can come to her.
598
00:32:35,377 --> 00:32:37,752
'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it!
599
00:32:37,752 --> 00:32:41,544
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
600
00:32:41,544 --> 00:32:45,336
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
601
00:32:45,836 --> 00:32:47,502
- Enough!
- Yes.
602
00:32:47,502 --> 00:32:48,502
Sorry.
603
00:33:08,794 --> 00:33:11,336
Hello, how are you?
604
00:33:11,336 --> 00:33:12,711
Good trip?
605
00:33:28,544 --> 00:33:31,627
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
606
00:33:31,627 --> 00:33:34,252
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
607
00:33:34,252 --> 00:33:37,711
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
608
00:33:37,711 --> 00:33:42,127
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
609
00:33:42,127 --> 00:33:43,211
You too, merchant.
610
00:33:43,794 --> 00:33:46,502
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
611
00:33:46,502 --> 00:33:47,919
Balls for you!
612
00:33:52,877 --> 00:33:53,919
Day one.
613
00:33:54,544 --> 00:33:57,711
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
614
00:33:59,377 --> 00:34:00,211
you two...
615
00:34:03,086 --> 00:34:04,252
We have two lives.
616
00:34:04,252 --> 00:34:07,336
The second begins
when we see we have only one.
617
00:34:09,002 --> 00:34:09,961
I thank you.
618
00:34:13,794 --> 00:34:15,711
That's what I call an Empress.
619
00:34:16,294 --> 00:34:17,169
Love it.
620
00:34:17,169 --> 00:34:19,919
We have two lives and it ends when...
621
00:34:19,919 --> 00:34:22,169
The second life begins with...
622
00:34:23,752 --> 00:34:26,586
We have two lives and when they begin...
623
00:34:27,419 --> 00:34:28,419
I thank you.
624
00:34:35,211 --> 00:34:36,169
Meanwhile,
625
00:34:36,169 --> 00:34:39,169
Caesar, his immense army and Scar Dee Kat
626
00:34:39,169 --> 00:34:42,836
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
627
00:34:42,836 --> 00:34:44,002
Or almost.
628
00:34:45,586 --> 00:34:46,794
This is the Silk Road?
629
00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:49,211
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
630
00:34:49,877 --> 00:34:51,919
Woopsus, what is this route?
631
00:34:51,919 --> 00:34:54,711
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
632
00:34:54,711 --> 00:34:56,377
I can't work like this.
633
00:34:56,377 --> 00:34:57,877
It's just impossible!
634
00:34:58,669 --> 00:35:00,502
Join the army, they said!
635
00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:06,877
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
636
00:35:06,877 --> 00:35:08,961
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
637
00:35:08,961 --> 00:35:10,211
So we'll go right.
638
00:35:10,752 --> 00:35:13,794
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
639
00:35:13,794 --> 00:35:16,502
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
640
00:35:16,502 --> 00:35:17,961
The upstart!
641
00:35:17,961 --> 00:35:19,752
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
642
00:35:20,461 --> 00:35:22,211
Risklus, imperial security.
643
00:35:24,086 --> 00:35:27,877
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
644
00:35:27,877 --> 00:35:30,086
Still on the campaign in Milan.
645
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,044
He's not reading my pigeons.
646
00:35:33,711 --> 00:35:34,961
Caesar, I'm here.
647
00:35:35,919 --> 00:35:38,711
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
648
00:35:38,711 --> 00:35:39,961
What do you want?
649
00:35:40,502 --> 00:35:44,044
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
650
00:35:44,044 --> 00:35:46,877
She has demands. For respect or something.
651
00:35:46,877 --> 00:35:47,836
I beat her?
652
00:35:48,586 --> 00:35:49,461
Are you nuts?
653
00:35:50,169 --> 00:35:51,211
Show her in.
654
00:35:54,627 --> 00:35:55,461
Tapioca!
655
00:36:01,961 --> 00:36:04,086
So, Carioca, what do you want?
656
00:36:04,086 --> 00:36:08,044
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
657
00:36:08,044 --> 00:36:10,211
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
658
00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:14,961
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
659
00:36:15,544 --> 00:36:17,002
I'm sure I have no idea.
660
00:36:17,002 --> 00:36:19,669
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
661
00:36:19,669 --> 00:36:21,544
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
662
00:36:21,544 --> 00:36:22,627
Right...
663
00:36:23,669 --> 00:36:26,961
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
664
00:36:26,961 --> 00:36:28,044
It's a start.
665
00:36:28,044 --> 00:36:32,336
And let's talk about
the role of women in Roman society.
666
00:36:32,336 --> 00:36:35,502
Look closely and it's all about men here.
667
00:36:35,502 --> 00:36:37,252
Gladiators? Men.
668
00:36:37,252 --> 00:36:38,752
Senators? Men only.
669
00:36:38,752 --> 00:36:40,377
Legionaries? Men only.
670
00:36:40,377 --> 00:36:42,002
Caesars? Men only.
671
00:36:42,502 --> 00:36:43,794
You want a Julia Caesar?
672
00:36:47,961 --> 00:36:49,711
You want Rome run by a woman?
673
00:36:52,127 --> 00:36:53,002
I see.
674
00:37:01,461 --> 00:37:03,211
Back to our friends.
675
00:37:03,211 --> 00:37:08,294
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
676
00:37:08,294 --> 00:37:12,169
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
677
00:37:12,169 --> 00:37:16,211
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
678
00:37:16,211 --> 00:37:17,544
Yes, like the canal.
679
00:37:23,669 --> 00:37:27,336
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
680
00:37:28,002 --> 00:37:30,836
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
681
00:37:30,836 --> 00:37:37,377
Dare to come and cast the first stone
682
00:37:40,586 --> 00:37:43,127
To fall for one head over heels
683
00:37:43,127 --> 00:37:45,044
leaves a wound that never heals
684
00:37:45,044 --> 00:37:49,252
But the love you feel is the real deal
685
00:37:52,377 --> 00:37:55,002
So don't be harsh or disapprove
686
00:37:55,669 --> 00:37:58,502
When a woman falls in love
687
00:38:00,461 --> 00:38:02,836
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
688
00:38:02,836 --> 00:38:05,544
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
689
00:38:11,919 --> 00:38:13,627
See? That's Gaul for you!
690
00:38:13,627 --> 00:38:15,127
I love this place.
691
00:38:15,127 --> 00:38:17,586
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
692
00:38:19,544 --> 00:38:20,544
Same here.
693
00:38:25,502 --> 00:38:27,919
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
694
00:38:27,919 --> 00:38:30,211
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
695
00:38:30,211 --> 00:38:33,086
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
696
00:38:33,086 --> 00:38:35,211
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
697
00:38:35,211 --> 00:38:39,127
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
698
00:38:39,127 --> 00:38:41,544
a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy.
699
00:38:41,544 --> 00:38:43,502
And to clean me out!
700
00:38:44,336 --> 00:38:46,877
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
701
00:38:46,877 --> 00:38:49,336
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
702
00:38:50,169 --> 00:38:51,961
What brings you blondies here?
703
00:38:51,961 --> 00:38:54,336
Looking for the best ship's captain.
704
00:38:55,377 --> 00:38:56,586
He's your man. Titanix!
705
00:38:58,669 --> 00:38:59,544
He's reliable?
706
00:39:00,044 --> 00:39:02,836
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
707
00:39:03,961 --> 00:39:05,044
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
708
00:39:05,044 --> 00:39:06,502
Anything for a Gaul!
709
00:39:07,502 --> 00:39:09,169
Normally, mutts stay outside.
710
00:39:09,169 --> 00:39:10,794
But you're a real cutie.
711
00:39:17,252 --> 00:39:19,627
We're looking for a boat to China.
712
00:39:19,627 --> 00:39:22,461
China by sea? Too much hassle.
713
00:39:23,294 --> 00:39:24,794
Here's what I got for you.
714
00:39:24,794 --> 00:39:26,669
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
715
00:39:26,669 --> 00:39:29,836
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
716
00:39:31,127 --> 00:39:31,961
Tasty.
717
00:39:33,544 --> 00:39:35,002
Another time.
718
00:39:35,002 --> 00:39:37,211
This is worth more than your boat.
719
00:39:38,169 --> 00:39:39,752
Why didn't you say so?
720
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,377
So how's it...
721
00:39:41,377 --> 00:39:44,419
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
722
00:39:44,419 --> 00:39:46,877
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
723
00:39:46,877 --> 00:39:49,586
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
724
00:39:49,586 --> 00:39:50,836
A problem, Tipsy?
725
00:39:50,836 --> 00:39:53,419
These gents want to dip into my pockets.
726
00:39:53,419 --> 00:39:57,377
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
727
00:39:58,711 --> 00:40:01,002
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
728
00:40:01,002 --> 00:40:02,669
What do you want with the lady?
729
00:40:04,294 --> 00:40:05,211
You're the lightweight.
730
00:40:10,627 --> 00:40:11,627
Screwy.
731
00:40:11,627 --> 00:40:12,919
Princess, in Gaul,
732
00:40:12,919 --> 00:40:15,627
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
733
00:40:16,502 --> 00:40:19,002
flyweights don't listen.
734
00:40:46,586 --> 00:40:47,586
He's a lizard!
735
00:40:55,752 --> 00:40:56,586
What is this?
736
00:41:07,877 --> 00:41:10,752
A very, very strong batch. He overdid it.
737
00:41:11,669 --> 00:41:13,627
Give me a drop. No one will know.
738
00:41:13,627 --> 00:41:14,752
No chance.
739
00:41:18,669 --> 00:41:20,336
One's yours. Take your pick.
740
00:41:20,919 --> 00:41:22,294
The big guy, I guess.
741
00:41:25,377 --> 00:41:26,461
Gentlemen...
742
00:41:35,877 --> 00:41:39,377
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
743
00:41:39,877 --> 00:41:41,169
So it will hurt less.
744
00:42:00,252 --> 00:42:03,461
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
745
00:42:03,461 --> 00:42:05,586
containing a drop of magic potion.
746
00:42:05,586 --> 00:42:07,502
A kind of pick-me-up.
747
00:42:07,502 --> 00:42:10,294
We market it as an invigorating drink...
748
00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:12,711
I'll come up with a name for it.
749
00:42:13,211 --> 00:42:17,794
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
750
00:42:17,794 --> 00:42:19,086
we'll make a killing.
751
00:42:19,086 --> 00:42:21,919
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
752
00:42:23,002 --> 00:42:24,044
What's that?
753
00:42:24,627 --> 00:42:25,836
It's tai chi.
754
00:42:25,836 --> 00:42:28,794
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
755
00:42:29,794 --> 00:42:31,752
It's crazy, us meeting now.
756
00:42:31,752 --> 00:42:35,127
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
757
00:42:35,752 --> 00:42:38,669
Balance, nutrition, energies, everything!
758
00:42:39,627 --> 00:42:41,169
The two of us are so connected.
759
00:42:47,086 --> 00:42:48,836
- Done?
- Meditation.
760
00:42:48,836 --> 00:42:50,627
- Great!
- No talking!
761
00:42:56,836 --> 00:42:58,127
It's a fine coin.
762
00:43:00,877 --> 00:43:01,877
That's you?
763
00:43:02,544 --> 00:43:05,086
Yes. A gift from my mother.
764
00:43:06,252 --> 00:43:07,294
That's real love.
765
00:43:10,669 --> 00:43:11,961
When I received it,
766
00:43:12,877 --> 00:43:13,794
I didn't smile.
767
00:43:14,919 --> 00:43:16,377
Don't worry, Princess.
768
00:43:16,877 --> 00:43:18,586
I'll rescue your mother.
769
00:43:19,669 --> 00:43:20,544
I'm here for you.
770
00:43:21,752 --> 00:43:23,336
Quick correction, sorry.
771
00:43:23,336 --> 00:43:24,919
We are here for you.
772
00:43:24,919 --> 00:43:28,544
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
773
00:43:29,544 --> 00:43:30,877
Excuse me.
774
00:43:30,877 --> 00:43:32,252
Princess...
775
00:43:38,044 --> 00:43:39,169
What are you doing?
776
00:43:39,169 --> 00:43:40,961
That was two balls!
777
00:43:40,961 --> 00:43:42,794
Put one back. That was two balls!
778
00:43:42,794 --> 00:43:45,502
Put one back. Don't screw me on the balls.
779
00:43:45,502 --> 00:43:47,127
It's extra jailtime for me.
780
00:43:48,669 --> 00:43:50,752
By the way, did you think over
781
00:43:52,127 --> 00:43:53,002
my offer?
782
00:43:55,961 --> 00:43:57,502
Playing hard to get.
783
00:43:58,002 --> 00:44:00,877
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
784
00:44:00,877 --> 00:44:02,669
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
785
00:44:02,669 --> 00:44:04,419
If we get out one day,
786
00:44:04,919 --> 00:44:07,294
would you like to keep trading in China?
787
00:44:07,794 --> 00:44:09,794
- Sure.
- So shut up.
788
00:44:11,711 --> 00:44:13,919
They put us together to torture me.
789
00:44:14,586 --> 00:44:15,836
Let's not exaggerate.
790
00:44:17,044 --> 00:44:18,377
Perhaps it's...
791
00:44:19,086 --> 00:44:20,669
destiny bringing us together.
792
00:44:21,169 --> 00:44:22,919
Maktub, as they say back home.
793
00:44:24,169 --> 00:44:26,586
You're very beautiful in a temper.
794
00:44:45,461 --> 00:44:46,294
Gents!
795
00:44:46,294 --> 00:44:49,127
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
796
00:44:49,127 --> 00:44:51,627
Who are the predators here?
797
00:44:51,627 --> 00:44:53,377
- We are!
- Bang on!
798
00:44:54,919 --> 00:44:57,169
Ship ahoy!
799
00:44:58,294 --> 00:44:59,377
Thanks, lookout!
800
00:44:59,377 --> 00:45:00,502
Just doing my job!
801
00:45:00,502 --> 00:45:03,461
No lavish ship will escape us.
802
00:45:03,461 --> 00:45:04,794
We sleep tonight in silk!
803
00:45:20,002 --> 00:45:20,836
The Gauls?
804
00:45:20,836 --> 00:45:23,252
It's the Gauls!
805
00:45:25,961 --> 00:45:27,127
Peek-a-boo!
806
00:45:27,627 --> 00:45:28,544
Hi, guys!
807
00:45:33,336 --> 00:45:34,544
Not the Gauls!
808
00:45:34,544 --> 00:45:35,544
Why us?
809
00:45:37,002 --> 00:45:38,294
There are other ships.
810
00:45:39,211 --> 00:45:41,627
Morning, could you pretend not to see us?
811
00:45:41,627 --> 00:45:43,211
But we have seen you.
812
00:45:43,211 --> 00:45:44,586
That's fair.
813
00:45:45,711 --> 00:45:46,752
Prepare our defences!
814
00:45:46,752 --> 00:45:47,836
Let's go!
815
00:45:52,377 --> 00:45:54,294
Freshly painted too!
816
00:45:54,794 --> 00:45:56,169
Watch out now!
817
00:46:00,919 --> 00:46:02,586
Don't think I enjoy it.
818
00:46:03,877 --> 00:46:04,961
No, wait.
819
00:46:05,919 --> 00:46:07,419
Watch some Chinese fighting.
820
00:46:25,794 --> 00:46:27,044
What now, skipper?
821
00:46:28,461 --> 00:46:29,669
I'm not feeling it.
822
00:46:29,669 --> 00:46:31,627
Let's go anyway. Attack!
823
00:46:35,461 --> 00:46:36,669
No, go back!
824
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:38,252
Michel, go on!
825
00:46:52,627 --> 00:46:54,086
That's gotta hurt.
826
00:47:02,377 --> 00:47:03,669
That's too many feet!
827
00:47:05,044 --> 00:47:06,336
Let me through.
828
00:47:10,086 --> 00:47:11,336
Sorry, skipper.
829
00:47:11,336 --> 00:47:12,669
Where you going?
830
00:47:12,669 --> 00:47:14,336
Going out like a prince.
831
00:47:15,669 --> 00:47:17,169
Behind you!
832
00:47:21,586 --> 00:47:23,377
Cool it, crazywoman!
833
00:48:03,836 --> 00:48:04,711
Comrades,
834
00:48:05,211 --> 00:48:07,377
official reason for us sinking,
835
00:48:07,377 --> 00:48:09,502
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
836
00:48:19,461 --> 00:48:20,461
May I?
837
00:48:21,044 --> 00:48:21,919
Yes.
838
00:48:25,877 --> 00:48:26,836
Beautiful.
839
00:48:28,419 --> 00:48:29,711
I wanted to say,
840
00:48:30,377 --> 00:48:31,877
you fight fabulously.
841
00:48:32,794 --> 00:48:33,794
Thank you.
842
00:48:34,961 --> 00:48:37,336
How come you never use the potion?
843
00:48:37,336 --> 00:48:38,586
I'm not allowed to.
844
00:48:40,544 --> 00:48:43,294
Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many.
845
00:48:45,961 --> 00:48:49,044
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
846
00:49:38,752 --> 00:49:39,919
Obelix?
847
00:49:41,877 --> 00:49:42,877
Mummy!
848
00:49:48,336 --> 00:49:49,836
The feeling is extraordinary.
849
00:49:50,336 --> 00:49:52,836
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
850
00:49:52,836 --> 00:49:54,586
falling in love, so I hear.
851
00:50:21,336 --> 00:50:23,752
Having found their way again at last,
852
00:50:24,252 --> 00:50:26,502
Caesar and his powerful army
853
00:50:26,502 --> 00:50:29,836
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
854
00:50:29,836 --> 00:50:31,586
the Mongolian steppes,
855
00:50:31,586 --> 00:50:34,252
and finally reach the gates of China,
856
00:50:34,252 --> 00:50:36,586
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
857
00:50:36,586 --> 00:50:38,669
is perfecting his dastardly plan
858
00:50:38,669 --> 00:50:40,836
to conquer all six kingdoms.
859
00:50:47,752 --> 00:50:48,669
Ave!
860
00:50:49,169 --> 00:50:50,127
This is the war?
861
00:50:50,127 --> 00:50:51,419
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
862
00:50:51,419 --> 00:50:53,002
allow me to introduce...
863
00:50:53,502 --> 00:50:57,127
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
864
00:50:57,127 --> 00:50:58,711
and everything will be fine.
865
00:50:59,252 --> 00:51:02,252
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
866
00:51:02,252 --> 00:51:05,627
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
867
00:51:07,544 --> 00:51:09,294
Aren't you overthinking it?
868
00:51:09,294 --> 00:51:11,627
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
869
00:51:12,211 --> 00:51:13,669
the greatest Chinese strategist,
870
00:51:13,669 --> 00:51:15,252
who wrote The Art of War.
871
00:51:15,961 --> 00:51:17,169
The Fart is Raw?
872
00:51:18,794 --> 00:51:22,794
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
873
00:51:23,627 --> 00:51:26,127
{\an8}- All right. If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
874
00:51:26,127 --> 00:51:27,169
{\an8}Exactly!
875
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:29,669
He's hard work.
876
00:51:29,669 --> 00:51:30,877
A maniac.
877
00:51:30,877 --> 00:51:34,044
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
878
00:51:34,752 --> 00:51:37,377
I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
879
00:51:41,669 --> 00:51:43,336
Biopix, new chapter.
880
00:51:43,336 --> 00:51:45,961
After Caesar the Seducer,
881
00:51:46,627 --> 00:51:48,002
Caesar the Strategist.
882
00:51:48,002 --> 00:51:50,627
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
883
00:51:50,627 --> 00:51:52,377
- Helmet!
- Gallopus!
884
00:52:04,002 --> 00:52:05,002
Sword!
885
00:52:08,586 --> 00:52:09,461
What on Earth?
886
00:52:09,461 --> 00:52:11,836
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
887
00:52:13,252 --> 00:52:15,044
Any news of Antivirus?
888
00:52:15,044 --> 00:52:17,211
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
889
00:52:17,211 --> 00:52:18,419
All right, let's go!
890
00:52:23,502 --> 00:52:24,377
All together!
891
00:52:28,002 --> 00:52:29,169
Goose bumps.
892
00:52:29,169 --> 00:52:30,419
Same here.
893
00:53:50,002 --> 00:53:51,294
Antivirus, I love you!
894
00:54:04,419 --> 00:54:07,086
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
895
00:54:07,586 --> 00:54:09,419
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
896
00:54:09,419 --> 00:54:11,461
You wanted Antivirus,
897
00:54:11,461 --> 00:54:13,377
I gave you Antivirus.
898
00:54:13,377 --> 00:54:16,461
Now go back to your chariot races.
899
00:54:18,377 --> 00:54:21,169
Why talk when you can fly?
900
00:54:45,752 --> 00:54:47,419
A walk in the park!
901
00:54:49,877 --> 00:54:51,252
In a few days,
902
00:54:51,252 --> 00:54:53,002
I shall be master of China.
903
00:54:54,086 --> 00:54:58,252
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
904
00:54:58,836 --> 00:55:01,127
Veni, vidi, vici.
905
00:55:02,127 --> 00:55:04,419
Caesar, you spoil me.
906
00:55:04,419 --> 00:55:06,377
I've got it word for word.
907
00:55:06,377 --> 00:55:08,961
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
908
00:55:08,961 --> 00:55:10,794
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
909
00:55:11,961 --> 00:55:13,752
And Antivirus? Not here?
910
00:55:13,752 --> 00:55:15,127
He's sleeping.
911
00:55:15,127 --> 00:55:16,127
Sleeping?
912
00:55:16,127 --> 00:55:17,294
I'm here, Caesar.
913
00:55:17,294 --> 00:55:19,669
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
914
00:55:21,419 --> 00:55:24,002
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
915
00:55:24,002 --> 00:55:25,044
The trickiest.
916
00:55:26,336 --> 00:55:28,294
Our victories echo around the land.
917
00:55:28,294 --> 00:55:30,127
And the Ku Koos never give up.
918
00:55:30,127 --> 00:55:33,377
Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo.
919
00:55:35,086 --> 00:55:38,086
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
920
00:55:38,836 --> 00:55:41,669
His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
921
00:55:41,669 --> 00:55:44,544
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
922
00:55:44,544 --> 00:55:46,336
The man in the bamboo mask.
923
00:55:46,836 --> 00:55:47,711
A death
924
00:55:47,711 --> 00:55:51,294
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
925
00:55:52,461 --> 00:55:53,502
By the way...
926
00:55:54,961 --> 00:55:56,544
you seem a bit cuckoo.
927
00:55:57,169 --> 00:55:59,544
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
928
00:55:59,544 --> 00:56:00,586
I mean...
929
00:56:03,586 --> 00:56:05,044
you're totally cuckoo, right?
930
00:56:11,419 --> 00:56:16,169
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
931
00:56:16,169 --> 00:56:18,252
What do you stand to gain,
932
00:56:18,252 --> 00:56:20,336
Deng Tsin Quin?
933
00:56:21,627 --> 00:56:23,877
You plan to give me a Caesarian
934
00:56:23,877 --> 00:56:25,919
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
935
00:56:25,919 --> 00:56:27,169
No.
936
00:56:27,752 --> 00:56:29,044
I'd never do that.
937
00:56:29,627 --> 00:56:30,627
Really?
938
00:56:31,961 --> 00:56:32,794
I would.
939
00:56:33,586 --> 00:56:35,127
At the drop of a hat!
940
00:56:36,627 --> 00:56:37,586
Good one!
941
00:56:39,711 --> 00:56:41,377
Tell me, O Caesar,
942
00:56:42,044 --> 00:56:44,086
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
943
00:56:44,086 --> 00:56:45,752
is highly respected in China?
944
00:56:46,502 --> 00:56:47,461
That's true.
945
00:56:47,461 --> 00:56:50,836
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
946
00:56:51,419 --> 00:56:53,586
What's she like in real life? Cool?
947
00:57:08,586 --> 00:57:10,127
Home at last.
948
00:57:11,502 --> 00:57:14,419
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
949
00:57:15,877 --> 00:57:18,002
Don't bother. They have no idea.
950
00:57:18,002 --> 00:57:20,002
I smell them, though.
951
00:57:20,836 --> 00:57:21,919
What sweet scent!
952
00:57:22,502 --> 00:57:23,461
Titanix,
953
00:57:23,461 --> 00:57:25,627
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
954
00:57:25,627 --> 00:57:28,419
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
955
00:57:28,419 --> 00:57:30,086
to prove the earth's round.
956
00:58:00,586 --> 00:58:02,627
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
957
00:58:08,211 --> 00:58:10,919
Ka Ra Tay, how will we find
your master here?
958
00:58:10,919 --> 00:58:12,294
He will find us.
959
00:58:30,419 --> 00:58:32,127
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
960
00:58:33,877 --> 00:58:35,169
The bald guy's a friend?
961
00:58:36,544 --> 00:58:38,669
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
962
00:58:40,502 --> 00:58:44,294
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
963
00:58:45,419 --> 00:58:47,752
Why all the mystery?
964
00:58:47,752 --> 00:58:49,169
I've lost my appetite now!
965
00:58:52,086 --> 00:58:53,669
He's never like that.
966
00:58:55,086 --> 00:58:59,127
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
967
00:58:59,127 --> 00:59:00,919
Can we talk honestly?
968
00:59:01,752 --> 00:59:05,211
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
969
00:59:06,419 --> 00:59:08,836
But it's really tense between you two.
970
00:59:08,836 --> 00:59:10,669
The tension's getting to us all.
971
00:59:11,336 --> 00:59:12,377
- It is?
- Yes.
972
00:59:13,544 --> 00:59:15,252
I have an idea for you both
973
00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:19,044
and honestly it will do you
the world of good.
974
00:59:21,711 --> 00:59:23,627
Obelix, we need to talk.
975
00:59:24,169 --> 00:59:25,336
I'm all ears.
976
00:59:25,336 --> 00:59:29,252
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
977
00:59:31,169 --> 00:59:32,169
For sure.
978
00:59:33,794 --> 00:59:36,044
I think it would be simpler...
979
00:59:36,752 --> 00:59:38,961
if she moved to our village.
980
00:59:38,961 --> 00:59:40,086
All right.
981
00:59:41,002 --> 00:59:42,419
You and I are...
982
00:59:42,919 --> 00:59:44,502
We've lived together for ages.
983
00:59:45,294 --> 00:59:47,294
We never said it was for life.
984
00:59:48,502 --> 00:59:49,752
Seeing as, originally,
985
00:59:50,252 --> 00:59:52,086
it was my parents' hut...
986
00:59:56,127 --> 00:59:57,877
You'd like me to move out?
987
00:59:59,044 --> 01:00:00,044
Yes.
988
01:00:04,044 --> 01:00:05,544
What a relief!
989
01:00:05,544 --> 01:00:08,961
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
990
01:00:09,544 --> 01:00:10,377
Really?
991
01:00:13,002 --> 01:00:14,419
I'm in love, too.
992
01:00:15,919 --> 01:00:16,919
You're in love?
993
01:00:17,919 --> 01:00:19,002
Beautiful Ka Ra Tay.
994
01:00:22,752 --> 01:00:23,586
Ka Ra Tay?
995
01:00:24,502 --> 01:00:25,794
Our Ka Ra Tay?
996
01:00:26,294 --> 01:00:27,127
Seriously?
997
01:00:29,877 --> 01:00:30,836
What's so funny?
998
01:00:32,127 --> 01:00:33,336
I'm just surprised.
999
01:00:33,336 --> 01:00:34,669
By me falling in love?
1000
01:00:35,336 --> 01:00:36,544
Come on, Oby...
1001
01:00:36,544 --> 01:00:37,627
Don't Oby me.
1002
01:00:38,127 --> 01:00:39,169
No more Oby!
1003
01:00:40,794 --> 01:00:41,627
What's funny?
1004
01:00:41,627 --> 01:00:43,294
I've no right to love?
1005
01:00:43,794 --> 01:00:45,086
No rights at all!
1006
01:00:45,086 --> 01:00:47,002
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1007
01:00:47,002 --> 01:00:48,961
- It is not!
- It is!
1008
01:00:50,086 --> 01:00:52,169
No magic potion for Obelix.
1009
01:00:52,169 --> 01:00:53,461
No love for Obelix!
1010
01:00:53,461 --> 01:00:56,544
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1011
01:00:57,336 --> 01:00:58,294
Poor Obelix!
1012
01:00:58,294 --> 01:00:59,711
Now I'm not allowed
1013
01:00:59,711 --> 01:01:03,086
to roast my wild boar in my own hut!
1014
01:01:03,669 --> 01:01:06,461
Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut!
1015
01:01:06,461 --> 01:01:09,461
- Correct!
- And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1016
01:01:09,461 --> 01:01:11,961
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1017
01:01:11,961 --> 01:01:12,961
For your sake!
1018
01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:14,419
Your health!
1019
01:01:14,419 --> 01:01:16,586
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1020
01:01:16,586 --> 01:01:18,002
Because you're fat!
1021
01:01:20,377 --> 01:01:22,627
I am curvaceous!
1022
01:01:23,461 --> 01:01:24,586
But at least I'm...
1023
01:01:25,086 --> 01:01:26,294
strong.
1024
01:01:26,294 --> 01:01:28,377
There we go. Thank you!
1025
01:01:28,377 --> 01:01:31,169
You think it's easy always being weaker?
1026
01:01:31,669 --> 01:01:33,044
Dependent on a flask!
1027
01:01:33,044 --> 01:01:34,294
Serves you right!
1028
01:01:34,794 --> 01:01:36,086
There, I said it!
1029
01:01:37,502 --> 01:01:40,461
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1030
01:01:42,086 --> 01:01:44,169
Speak freely.
1031
01:01:56,461 --> 01:01:58,294
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1032
01:01:58,294 --> 01:01:59,502
What now?
1033
01:01:59,502 --> 01:02:01,669
We protect the princess's identity.
1034
01:02:03,127 --> 01:02:04,419
What brings Caesar to China?
1035
01:02:04,419 --> 01:02:07,544
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1036
01:02:09,919 --> 01:02:11,336
News flash!
1037
01:02:12,336 --> 01:02:13,627
People of China,
1038
01:02:13,627 --> 01:02:16,252
Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar
1039
01:02:16,252 --> 01:02:18,794
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1040
01:02:18,794 --> 01:02:20,169
of the ex-Empress.
1041
01:02:21,211 --> 01:02:24,711
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1042
01:02:25,877 --> 01:02:29,836
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1043
01:02:29,836 --> 01:02:30,877
Nobody told me.
1044
01:02:30,877 --> 01:02:32,752
By papyrus? You're not in the group?
1045
01:02:32,752 --> 01:02:34,711
I never am!
1046
01:02:34,711 --> 01:02:36,711
I am Princess Sa See!
1047
01:02:36,711 --> 01:02:39,044
Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens,
1048
01:02:39,044 --> 01:02:41,586
Her Majesty the Empress, my mother!
1049
01:02:41,586 --> 01:02:43,044
Arrest her!
1050
01:02:49,752 --> 01:02:50,627
Hey, doggie.
1051
01:02:51,502 --> 01:02:52,336
Bring it on.
1052
01:02:52,336 --> 01:02:55,627
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1053
01:02:55,627 --> 01:02:58,169
must prepare for a world of pain.
1054
01:03:00,044 --> 01:03:01,336
I said that?
1055
01:03:07,669 --> 01:03:09,877
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1056
01:03:09,877 --> 01:03:12,669
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1057
01:03:13,877 --> 01:03:15,086
You're kidding me.
1058
01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:18,627
You good?
1059
01:03:22,627 --> 01:03:23,544
We can start?
1060
01:03:24,169 --> 01:03:25,836
- Toilet break.
- Sure.
1061
01:03:25,836 --> 01:03:27,127
Not buying it.
1062
01:03:57,377 --> 01:03:58,377
Wring!
1063
01:04:21,544 --> 01:04:22,752
How about that.
1064
01:04:28,419 --> 01:04:31,127
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1065
01:04:31,127 --> 01:04:32,586
For what we get paid...
1066
01:04:34,419 --> 01:04:35,711
Act like we never met?
1067
01:04:35,711 --> 01:04:36,752
We never met.
1068
01:05:31,961 --> 01:05:34,377
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1069
01:05:34,377 --> 01:05:35,586
Yeah, I saw that.
1070
01:05:35,586 --> 01:05:37,586
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1071
01:05:38,461 --> 01:05:39,711
What's this?
1072
01:05:42,877 --> 01:05:44,002
Insane! So tight.
1073
01:05:44,002 --> 01:05:45,877
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1074
01:05:45,877 --> 01:05:48,044
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1075
01:05:49,752 --> 01:05:50,877
A problem?
1076
01:05:50,877 --> 01:05:51,961
Maybe.
1077
01:05:52,919 --> 01:05:54,002
Potion's worn off?
1078
01:05:54,002 --> 01:05:55,711
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1079
01:05:57,544 --> 01:05:58,419
We'll talk later.
1080
01:05:59,211 --> 01:06:00,377
Ready when you are.
1081
01:06:19,336 --> 01:06:20,461
Halt!
1082
01:06:25,252 --> 01:06:27,086
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1083
01:06:32,419 --> 01:06:34,086
SOAPS by CLEO
1084
01:06:36,544 --> 01:06:38,336
Who whistled?
1085
01:06:49,294 --> 01:06:50,419
I go off to war.
1086
01:06:51,336 --> 01:06:53,336
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1087
01:06:53,919 --> 01:06:55,669
No messages, no news.
1088
01:06:55,669 --> 01:06:57,336
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1089
01:06:57,336 --> 01:06:59,419
Time to snap out of it!
1090
01:06:59,419 --> 01:07:02,211
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1091
01:07:02,211 --> 01:07:04,711
- We've gone a bit flat.
- He's right.
1092
01:07:04,711 --> 01:07:06,336
You messaged her?
1093
01:07:06,336 --> 01:07:09,336
No, we said no messages. We play it cool.
1094
01:07:09,336 --> 01:07:12,252
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1095
01:07:12,252 --> 01:07:14,377
Butt out, cupcake!
1096
01:07:14,377 --> 01:07:16,336
Come again, sentry?
1097
01:07:16,336 --> 01:07:19,669
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1098
01:07:19,669 --> 01:07:22,877
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1099
01:07:22,877 --> 01:07:24,627
Shut your trap!
1100
01:07:28,252 --> 01:07:29,877
Who wears the toga at home?
1101
01:07:30,377 --> 01:07:31,294
Who's the boss?
1102
01:07:31,919 --> 01:07:32,836
I am.
1103
01:07:33,377 --> 01:07:34,461
Anyone hear that?
1104
01:07:35,086 --> 01:07:36,627
Who's the boss?
1105
01:07:38,002 --> 01:07:39,461
- I am.
- There you are!
1106
01:07:39,461 --> 01:07:41,419
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1107
01:07:41,419 --> 01:07:43,044
Our champion! Number one!
1108
01:07:43,961 --> 01:07:45,669
The only message is,
1109
01:07:45,669 --> 01:07:48,836
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!"
1110
01:07:48,836 --> 01:07:51,669
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1111
01:07:55,627 --> 01:07:56,919
You're right. Scribe!
1112
01:08:08,336 --> 01:08:09,711
Better!
1113
01:08:09,711 --> 01:08:13,294
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1114
01:08:14,252 --> 01:08:17,336
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1115
01:08:18,419 --> 01:08:19,669
Ave, me!
1116
01:08:19,669 --> 01:08:23,836
There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful!
1117
01:08:23,836 --> 01:08:25,627
The Queen of Egypt?
1118
01:08:25,627 --> 01:08:27,627
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1119
01:08:28,544 --> 01:08:30,461
They're not singing anymore...
1120
01:08:30,461 --> 01:08:33,461
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1121
01:08:33,461 --> 01:08:35,211
- Send.
- Yes!
1122
01:08:39,252 --> 01:08:40,502
Pigeon!
1123
01:08:43,836 --> 01:08:44,961
A bunny!
1124
01:08:46,044 --> 01:08:47,002
It's a bunny.
1125
01:08:47,002 --> 01:08:48,377
Scary!
1126
01:08:48,961 --> 01:08:50,586
A raccoon!
1127
01:08:54,294 --> 01:08:55,211
A goat!
1128
01:08:56,044 --> 01:08:57,252
A billy goat.
1129
01:09:03,294 --> 01:09:05,002
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1130
01:09:14,169 --> 01:09:15,294
From Cleopatra.
1131
01:09:15,294 --> 01:09:16,294
Already?
1132
01:09:17,877 --> 01:09:18,711
Read it.
1133
01:09:30,419 --> 01:09:32,961
- Don't understand a word.
- I don't understand.
1134
01:09:35,252 --> 01:09:36,877
"I wanted to apologise
1135
01:09:37,836 --> 01:09:39,044
for my behaviour."
1136
01:09:39,044 --> 01:09:40,419
"I went too far."
1137
01:09:40,419 --> 01:09:41,544
For sure.
1138
01:09:42,711 --> 01:09:46,627
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1139
01:09:47,211 --> 01:09:49,877
"Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon."
1140
01:09:50,669 --> 01:09:52,002
"Your loving Cleo."
1141
01:09:53,419 --> 01:09:55,086
Stop the pigeon!
1142
01:09:55,086 --> 01:09:56,627
Cancel the pigeon!
1143
01:09:56,627 --> 01:09:58,461
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1144
01:09:58,461 --> 01:10:00,877
Sent is sent. I beat him?
1145
01:10:01,461 --> 01:10:02,586
Everybody out!
1146
01:10:07,669 --> 01:10:08,877
I said everybody.
1147
01:11:26,794 --> 01:11:28,711
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1148
01:11:28,711 --> 01:11:29,961
- Hands off.
- What?
1149
01:11:29,961 --> 01:11:31,336
They're offerings.
1150
01:11:32,002 --> 01:11:33,669
Sorry. I didn't...
1151
01:11:41,336 --> 01:11:42,336
Hold on.
1152
01:11:42,336 --> 01:11:44,377
Move along. Have a good evening.
1153
01:11:44,961 --> 01:11:45,836
Good luck.
1154
01:11:46,336 --> 01:11:47,794
Just a beggar.
1155
01:11:53,294 --> 01:11:54,419
Master Sill Lee.
1156
01:11:55,294 --> 01:11:56,336
Sorry.
1157
01:11:57,294 --> 01:12:00,002
Profuse apologies, Mr. Sill Lee.
I thought...
1158
01:12:00,002 --> 01:12:03,336
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1159
01:12:03,836 --> 01:12:05,586
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1160
01:12:06,294 --> 01:12:09,377
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1161
01:12:09,377 --> 01:12:10,711
It's beyond me.
1162
01:12:10,711 --> 01:12:13,877
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1163
01:12:13,877 --> 01:12:16,836
Try to take back your coin,
1164
01:12:16,836 --> 01:12:18,377
little grasshopper.
1165
01:12:22,752 --> 01:12:24,586
It's too easy. You're blind.
1166
01:12:24,586 --> 01:12:28,044
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1167
01:12:29,752 --> 01:12:31,294
You saw that coming?
1168
01:12:33,294 --> 01:12:34,794
There we are!
1169
01:12:35,336 --> 01:12:36,627
It was his game.
1170
01:12:36,627 --> 01:12:37,836
Leave him.
1171
01:12:37,836 --> 01:12:39,002
Little grasshopper!
1172
01:12:39,586 --> 01:12:40,877
Sir, over here.
1173
01:12:41,711 --> 01:12:44,169
You are as swift as a cobra.
1174
01:12:44,169 --> 01:12:45,252
Yup, Sill Lee.
1175
01:12:45,252 --> 01:12:47,836
Can we move on to important matters?
1176
01:12:54,002 --> 01:12:55,544
By Toutatis!
1177
01:12:55,544 --> 01:12:59,461
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1178
01:12:59,461 --> 01:13:01,586
Do not touch.
1179
01:13:02,544 --> 01:13:03,419
Hard to resist.
1180
01:13:04,002 --> 01:13:05,169
I see
1181
01:13:05,169 --> 01:13:07,211
an old abandoned temple.
1182
01:13:07,211 --> 01:13:09,169
The temple in Xuan.
1183
01:13:09,669 --> 01:13:13,294
Her Majesty the Empress is held prisoner.
1184
01:13:14,461 --> 01:13:16,544
After releasing her,
1185
01:13:16,544 --> 01:13:19,586
you must go with all speed
1186
01:13:19,586 --> 01:13:21,377
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1187
01:13:21,377 --> 01:13:25,669
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1188
01:13:26,252 --> 01:13:28,294
You will encounter
1189
01:13:28,919 --> 01:13:30,044
the hideous...
1190
01:13:30,044 --> 01:13:32,044
the unsightly...
1191
01:13:32,044 --> 01:13:36,169
the monstrous crown prince,
1192
01:13:36,169 --> 01:13:37,586
Prince of Ku Koo,
1193
01:13:37,586 --> 01:13:40,877
the man in the bamboo mask.
1194
01:13:42,877 --> 01:13:44,627
Don't worry, it's fake.
1195
01:13:44,627 --> 01:13:46,502
Good luck!
1196
01:13:47,086 --> 01:13:49,544
We must go our separate ways.
1197
01:13:50,252 --> 01:13:51,419
Grand master,
1198
01:13:51,919 --> 01:13:53,627
are you done with the ball?
1199
01:13:55,461 --> 01:13:56,544
Yes.
1200
01:14:00,419 --> 01:14:01,502
Holy cow!
1201
01:14:04,586 --> 01:14:06,544
There you are. You broke it.
1202
01:14:06,544 --> 01:14:08,294
He said do not touch.
1203
01:14:10,294 --> 01:14:11,377
He's right.
1204
01:14:12,294 --> 01:14:14,127
I said do not touch!
1205
01:14:20,127 --> 01:14:21,127
Why'd you touch it?
1206
01:14:27,169 --> 01:14:29,711
Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors...
1207
01:14:33,877 --> 01:14:35,252
Princess Sa See?
1208
01:14:35,252 --> 01:14:38,627
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1209
01:14:39,211 --> 01:14:40,086
And a dog.
1210
01:14:55,461 --> 01:14:57,961
You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in!
1211
01:14:58,752 --> 01:15:00,419
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1212
01:15:00,919 --> 01:15:02,252
- Asterix!
- What?
1213
01:15:02,252 --> 01:15:04,127
Why are we running?
1214
01:15:04,127 --> 01:15:05,961
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1215
01:15:05,961 --> 01:15:08,002
No more potion with the Princess.
1216
01:15:08,002 --> 01:15:10,002
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1217
01:15:10,502 --> 01:15:12,627
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1218
01:15:12,627 --> 01:15:13,794
Come on!
1219
01:15:15,586 --> 01:15:16,586
Fast!
1220
01:15:17,294 --> 01:15:18,377
Faster!
1221
01:15:22,919 --> 01:15:24,336
He does this on purpose.
1222
01:16:17,211 --> 01:16:18,294
All right.
1223
01:16:23,627 --> 01:16:26,752
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1224
01:16:27,794 --> 01:16:29,044
So, our last night...
1225
01:16:29,919 --> 01:16:31,211
I was thinking...
1226
01:16:31,877 --> 01:16:33,961
maybe as a memento...
1227
01:16:33,961 --> 01:16:34,877
Majesty!
1228
01:16:36,669 --> 01:16:37,752
Gave me a fright!
1229
01:16:37,752 --> 01:16:39,336
We'll get you out.
1230
01:16:39,336 --> 01:16:40,586
Who's that?
1231
01:16:42,669 --> 01:16:43,961
Stand back.
1232
01:16:54,752 --> 01:16:55,752
All good?
1233
01:17:04,002 --> 01:17:04,836
Sorry.
1234
01:17:17,669 --> 01:17:18,544
Rise.
1235
01:17:20,294 --> 01:17:21,127
Let's go.
1236
01:17:21,127 --> 01:17:22,627
Jump. We'll catch you.
1237
01:17:22,627 --> 01:17:24,461
What? Jump?
1238
01:17:24,461 --> 01:17:26,211
I can't leave right now!
1239
01:17:26,211 --> 01:17:28,419
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1240
01:17:29,002 --> 01:17:30,836
In two balls, the guard caves.
1241
01:17:30,836 --> 01:17:33,502
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1242
01:17:34,127 --> 01:17:34,961
Are you sure?
1243
01:17:35,961 --> 01:17:36,961
Yes.
1244
01:17:37,961 --> 01:17:38,919
As you wish.
1245
01:17:42,419 --> 01:17:43,294
Take care.
1246
01:17:44,252 --> 01:17:45,502
And keep your head.
1247
01:17:47,752 --> 01:17:49,211
You're afraid for me.
1248
01:17:50,461 --> 01:17:54,419
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1249
01:18:02,294 --> 01:18:03,961
She's so impressive!
1250
01:18:05,336 --> 01:18:06,336
Thank you.
1251
01:18:07,919 --> 01:18:08,836
Mother!
1252
01:18:09,502 --> 01:18:11,127
What joy to see you again.
1253
01:18:21,586 --> 01:18:23,127
- Alert!
- Run!
1254
01:18:23,127 --> 01:18:24,127
They've escaped!
1255
01:18:35,044 --> 01:18:36,544
Which way now? Which way?
1256
01:18:38,086 --> 01:18:39,086
Wait.
1257
01:18:40,086 --> 01:18:42,169
Good. We lost them.
1258
01:18:42,169 --> 01:18:44,502
Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help.
1259
01:18:44,502 --> 01:18:46,419
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1260
01:18:47,252 --> 01:18:49,377
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1261
01:18:51,127 --> 01:18:52,419
Bankruptis.
1262
01:18:52,419 --> 01:18:54,961
We already met at the market.
1263
01:18:55,669 --> 01:18:56,711
That's right.
1264
01:18:57,502 --> 01:18:59,211
Life's full of surprises.
1265
01:19:01,586 --> 01:19:03,336
Attention issues for the Empress.
1266
01:19:04,544 --> 01:19:07,752
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1267
01:19:07,752 --> 01:19:11,169
Meanwhile I'll rally
our army and followers.
1268
01:19:12,002 --> 01:19:13,252
Ka Ra Tay, come with me.
1269
01:19:13,919 --> 01:19:15,669
I shall honour you, Mother.
1270
01:19:15,669 --> 01:19:16,836
You'll be proud of me.
1271
01:19:18,711 --> 01:19:20,044
I'm already proud of you.
1272
01:19:21,961 --> 01:19:23,127
Let's go, Ka Ra Tay.
1273
01:19:40,711 --> 01:19:42,086
This will end badly.
1274
01:20:04,961 --> 01:20:07,002
Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obelix.
1275
01:20:09,002 --> 01:20:09,836
Obelix, too.
1276
01:20:12,627 --> 01:20:15,669
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1277
01:20:16,711 --> 01:20:17,794
So let's go.
1278
01:20:19,211 --> 01:20:20,752
Obelix, come on.
1279
01:20:29,169 --> 01:20:31,794
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1280
01:20:32,877 --> 01:20:35,044
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1281
01:20:39,377 --> 01:20:41,919
Got a kick but not all bad.
1282
01:20:42,669 --> 01:20:43,794
It's relaxing.
1283
01:20:43,794 --> 01:20:44,919
Rice wine.
1284
01:20:45,544 --> 01:20:48,752
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1285
01:20:51,252 --> 01:20:52,336
You see...
1286
01:20:52,336 --> 01:20:54,086
At times like this...
1287
01:20:57,461 --> 01:20:58,461
I miss her.
1288
01:20:58,961 --> 01:21:00,752
What's with the music?
1289
01:21:00,752 --> 01:21:01,752
A full band?
1290
01:21:01,752 --> 01:21:03,169
Four and a singer.
1291
01:21:03,669 --> 01:21:05,544
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1292
01:21:05,544 --> 01:21:06,752
It's practical.
1293
01:21:07,752 --> 01:21:09,877
I always have my favourite music.
1294
01:21:11,461 --> 01:21:12,294
Know it?
1295
01:21:12,294 --> 01:21:13,669
Sure, obviously.
1296
01:21:14,794 --> 01:21:17,044
Now that's what I call music.
1297
01:21:18,211 --> 01:21:20,419
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1298
01:21:34,044 --> 01:21:35,252
Amore!
1299
01:21:36,336 --> 01:21:37,336
What are you doing?
1300
01:21:39,211 --> 01:21:41,586
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1301
01:21:43,419 --> 01:21:44,294
Know what?
1302
01:21:44,294 --> 01:21:46,919
Your libation brought back the urge.
1303
01:21:49,586 --> 01:21:52,586
I shall become the next Emperor of China.
1304
01:21:53,169 --> 01:21:54,044
Wow...
1305
01:21:54,044 --> 01:21:56,836
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1306
01:21:57,627 --> 01:22:00,377
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1307
01:22:17,794 --> 01:22:20,169
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1308
01:22:20,169 --> 01:22:21,544
Yes, next one.
1309
01:22:23,502 --> 01:22:25,669
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1310
01:22:25,669 --> 01:22:29,669
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1311
01:22:29,669 --> 01:22:31,419
the man in the bamboo mask.
1312
01:22:31,919 --> 01:22:33,002
Keep up.
1313
01:22:36,752 --> 01:22:37,919
I am To Fu.
1314
01:22:38,919 --> 01:22:41,961
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1315
01:22:42,544 --> 01:22:43,919
Can you prove
1316
01:22:44,627 --> 01:22:46,752
you really are Princess Sa See?
1317
01:22:47,919 --> 01:22:50,586
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1318
01:22:50,586 --> 01:22:54,294
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1319
01:22:55,544 --> 01:22:57,211
You could be a spy
1320
01:22:57,836 --> 01:22:59,002
in the pay
1321
01:22:59,002 --> 01:23:00,586
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1322
01:23:03,127 --> 01:23:03,961
The coin!
1323
01:23:09,877 --> 01:23:13,377
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1324
01:23:15,377 --> 01:23:17,502
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1325
01:23:17,502 --> 01:23:19,252
We must be careful.
1326
01:23:19,877 --> 01:23:22,294
His Highness, the Prince...
1327
01:23:22,294 --> 01:23:23,419
of Ku Koo!
1328
01:23:35,794 --> 01:23:36,794
What the heck?
1329
01:23:37,419 --> 01:23:39,586
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1330
01:23:39,586 --> 01:23:40,669
In his house.
1331
01:24:03,294 --> 01:24:04,294
Princess Sa See,
1332
01:24:04,294 --> 01:24:06,961
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1333
01:24:06,961 --> 01:24:09,586
We support your mother, our Empress.
1334
01:24:11,294 --> 01:24:12,294
Thanks.
1335
01:24:12,961 --> 01:24:14,086
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1336
01:24:14,669 --> 01:24:16,961
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1337
01:24:17,711 --> 01:24:19,544
On the contrary, it suits you.
1338
01:24:21,169 --> 01:24:22,586
Nobody ever said that.
1339
01:24:22,586 --> 01:24:24,544
I never wanted to say it.
1340
01:24:39,961 --> 01:24:42,127
That's love at first look.
1341
01:24:42,127 --> 01:24:44,586
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1342
01:24:47,377 --> 01:24:49,336
Back to the friend zone.
1343
01:24:50,669 --> 01:24:51,711
Let's go.
1344
01:24:53,169 --> 01:24:54,669
We have a country to save.
1345
01:25:08,669 --> 01:25:10,836
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1346
01:25:11,336 --> 01:25:12,502
No way out.
1347
01:25:13,002 --> 01:25:14,877
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1348
01:25:18,919 --> 01:25:20,294
Here we go again.
1349
01:25:20,294 --> 01:25:21,544
Blah-blah time.
1350
01:25:33,461 --> 01:25:35,294
I am Princess Sa See.
1351
01:25:35,294 --> 01:25:37,669
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1352
01:25:39,419 --> 01:25:40,836
Sa See darling,
1353
01:25:40,836 --> 01:25:42,502
we can marry at last.
1354
01:25:42,502 --> 01:25:46,002
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1355
01:25:46,877 --> 01:25:49,711
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1356
01:25:49,711 --> 01:25:52,169
I have a question for you.
1357
01:25:53,502 --> 01:25:54,836
How many?
1358
01:25:54,836 --> 01:25:56,211
Ten thousand.
1359
01:25:56,211 --> 01:25:59,836
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1360
01:26:06,002 --> 01:26:09,211
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1361
01:26:09,211 --> 01:26:10,294
You're wonderful.
1362
01:26:10,294 --> 01:26:11,961
You miscounted, Princess.
1363
01:26:11,961 --> 01:26:13,627
Ten thousand plus two.
1364
01:26:13,627 --> 01:26:14,961
If you still need me.
1365
01:26:14,961 --> 01:26:16,211
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1366
01:26:16,211 --> 01:26:17,419
It's us!
1367
01:26:17,419 --> 01:26:18,336
The crazies!
1368
01:26:18,336 --> 01:26:19,627
Not plus two.
1369
01:26:19,627 --> 01:26:20,836
Plus three!
1370
01:26:21,419 --> 01:26:23,127
The man in the bamboo mask.
1371
01:26:25,044 --> 01:26:25,961
Gross!
1372
01:26:25,961 --> 01:26:27,836
Poor guy's blond!
1373
01:26:27,836 --> 01:26:28,877
It's not too bad.
1374
01:26:28,877 --> 01:26:30,502
Not plus three. Plus four!
1375
01:26:31,211 --> 01:26:32,336
I'm the man
1376
01:26:33,127 --> 01:26:34,252
with feather feet!
1377
01:26:34,252 --> 01:26:35,544
What is this?
1378
01:26:42,044 --> 01:26:44,377
Why talk when you can run?
1379
01:26:56,836 --> 01:26:59,086
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1380
01:26:59,086 --> 01:27:00,877
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1381
01:27:03,794 --> 01:27:04,877
Substitute!
1382
01:27:09,086 --> 01:27:10,461
Antivirus!
1383
01:27:47,336 --> 01:27:49,211
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1384
01:27:49,794 --> 01:27:50,836
Not enough for four.
1385
01:27:50,836 --> 01:27:52,086
"Not enough for four!"
1386
01:27:55,794 --> 01:27:57,169
The cheats!
1387
01:27:57,169 --> 01:27:58,336
Won't help them.
1388
01:27:59,877 --> 01:28:01,752
Charge!
1389
01:28:19,002 --> 01:28:20,002
Yes?
1390
01:28:20,544 --> 01:28:21,544
Of course.
1391
01:29:11,211 --> 01:29:12,169
Help me.
1392
01:29:12,752 --> 01:29:13,836
Pipe down.
1393
01:29:13,836 --> 01:29:14,919
You've got gall.
1394
01:29:15,461 --> 01:29:16,294
Gall...
1395
01:29:16,294 --> 01:29:17,377
Gaul!
1396
01:29:30,294 --> 01:29:31,627
Can I join in?
1397
01:29:31,627 --> 01:29:32,961
Yeah, sure.
1398
01:29:32,961 --> 01:29:34,044
Archers!
1399
01:29:35,002 --> 01:29:35,919
Prepare!
1400
01:29:36,502 --> 01:29:37,502
Draw!
1401
01:29:38,002 --> 01:29:39,086
Loose!
1402
01:29:40,461 --> 01:29:42,752
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1403
01:29:45,669 --> 01:29:46,669
Arrows!
1404
01:30:01,252 --> 01:30:02,711
You can't be serious.
1405
01:30:02,711 --> 01:30:04,127
Don't judge me.
1406
01:30:06,752 --> 01:30:07,711
I feel it.
1407
01:30:08,961 --> 01:30:10,419
I feel it rising.
1408
01:30:13,586 --> 01:30:14,711
It's insane!
1409
01:30:16,169 --> 01:30:18,252
That's it?
1410
01:30:20,961 --> 01:30:22,336
No way! It's a joke.
1411
01:30:32,252 --> 01:30:33,419
I smell victory.
1412
01:30:35,252 --> 01:30:36,419
A particular scent?
1413
01:30:37,627 --> 01:30:39,752
Do readers care for such details?
1414
01:30:39,752 --> 01:30:41,169
It sets the scene.
1415
01:30:42,961 --> 01:30:44,627
The scent of laurels.
1416
01:30:44,627 --> 01:30:47,419
Excellent!
1417
01:31:09,586 --> 01:31:10,544
Thanks.
1418
01:31:10,544 --> 01:31:11,794
You're welcome.
1419
01:31:15,127 --> 01:31:17,044
We fell out but I can help out.
1420
01:31:17,627 --> 01:31:18,461
Sure.
1421
01:31:18,461 --> 01:31:19,461
I'm on your side.
1422
01:31:21,127 --> 01:31:21,961
Sure.
1423
01:31:23,502 --> 01:31:25,044
You'll always be my chum.
1424
01:31:28,211 --> 01:31:29,044
Sure.
1425
01:31:30,377 --> 01:31:31,711
Sorry, Obelix.
1426
01:31:56,544 --> 01:31:57,502
Stop!
1427
01:32:12,044 --> 01:32:13,461
Before I die...
1428
01:32:14,877 --> 01:32:16,627
I must tell you, Princess...
1429
01:32:42,669 --> 01:32:43,502
Look!
1430
01:32:45,252 --> 01:32:47,044
Just when all seems lost,
1431
01:32:47,627 --> 01:32:49,252
the Empress arrives,
1432
01:32:49,252 --> 01:32:52,294
followed by her army and entire people.
1433
01:32:52,294 --> 01:32:53,752
They are all there,
1434
01:32:53,752 --> 01:32:57,377
marching across the middle kingdom
1435
01:32:57,377 --> 01:32:59,836
to the scene of the final battle.
1436
01:33:16,877 --> 01:33:18,794
- What on Earth is this?
- Not sure.
1437
01:33:18,794 --> 01:33:21,336
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1438
01:33:21,877 --> 01:33:23,252
Pine boxes maybe.
1439
01:33:32,211 --> 01:33:33,752
I am Empress of China.
1440
01:33:33,752 --> 01:33:36,377
I order you to leave my empire forthwith.
1441
01:33:37,419 --> 01:33:38,502
Never!
1442
01:33:39,002 --> 01:33:41,169
She has a temper. Reminds me of someone.
1443
01:33:43,127 --> 01:33:44,252
Your Majesty!
1444
01:33:45,127 --> 01:33:47,461
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1445
01:33:47,461 --> 01:33:50,169
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1446
01:33:50,169 --> 01:33:53,086
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1447
01:33:53,086 --> 01:33:55,502
my army will reduce you to dust.
1448
01:33:56,336 --> 01:33:57,502
What's that?
1449
01:33:58,044 --> 01:33:59,002
A local proverb?
1450
01:33:59,002 --> 01:34:01,752
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1451
01:34:07,461 --> 01:34:08,711
How many of you?
1452
01:34:08,711 --> 01:34:10,002
He's at it again.
1453
01:34:10,627 --> 01:34:11,461
One
1454
01:34:12,002 --> 01:34:12,836
million!
1455
01:34:15,961 --> 01:34:17,044
Game changer.
1456
01:34:18,752 --> 01:34:21,002
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1457
01:34:21,002 --> 01:34:23,086
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1458
01:34:24,086 --> 01:34:25,169
Don't desert us.
1459
01:34:25,169 --> 01:34:26,669
There's a million of them.
1460
01:34:27,461 --> 01:34:28,461
It's not my war.
1461
01:34:34,252 --> 01:34:35,544
I can't go like this.
1462
01:34:38,627 --> 01:34:39,669
Rear up!
1463
01:34:51,211 --> 01:34:52,336
Got your message!
1464
01:34:52,336 --> 01:34:55,294
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1465
01:34:56,544 --> 01:34:58,252
It's been a tough day.
1466
01:34:59,086 --> 01:34:59,919
A tough day.
1467
01:35:39,211 --> 01:35:40,794
That feels good.
1468
01:35:42,294 --> 01:35:44,294
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1469
01:35:44,794 --> 01:35:47,377
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet,
1470
01:35:48,086 --> 01:35:51,961
but also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1471
01:35:55,252 --> 01:35:57,919
And now the Empress will speak.
1472
01:35:59,961 --> 01:36:01,044
Valiant Gauls!
1473
01:36:02,127 --> 01:36:03,919
You have my eternal gratitude.
1474
01:36:04,669 --> 01:36:06,711
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1475
01:36:06,711 --> 01:36:09,211
I insisted we come to help.
1476
01:36:10,627 --> 01:36:12,461
We made this long journey
1477
01:36:12,461 --> 01:36:14,502
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1478
01:36:23,211 --> 01:36:24,752
That's my cousin Remix.
1479
01:36:25,336 --> 01:36:27,127
A specialist in world music.
1480
01:36:27,961 --> 01:36:29,169
He's my cousin.
1481
01:36:29,169 --> 01:36:31,461
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1482
01:37:18,127 --> 01:37:20,627
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1483
01:37:20,627 --> 01:37:21,794
We're chiefs.
1484
01:37:21,794 --> 01:37:24,461
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1485
01:37:24,461 --> 01:37:25,794
Don't you agree?
1486
01:37:28,169 --> 01:37:30,044
And I'm not done.
1487
01:37:30,044 --> 01:37:32,377
And behind every great man
1488
01:37:32,377 --> 01:37:33,544
is a great woman.
1489
01:37:33,544 --> 01:37:36,627
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1490
01:37:36,627 --> 01:37:39,377
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1491
01:37:40,752 --> 01:37:41,711
We'll talk at home.
1492
01:37:43,377 --> 01:37:44,294
Mimenta!
1493
01:37:44,919 --> 01:37:47,502
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1494
01:37:51,127 --> 01:37:52,877
I thought he'd never leave.
1495
01:37:54,586 --> 01:37:57,586
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1496
01:37:59,127 --> 01:38:00,127
However...
1497
01:38:00,794 --> 01:38:02,002
I lost my heart.
1498
01:38:02,752 --> 01:38:03,836
Now, now.
1499
01:38:04,336 --> 01:38:06,586
Well then, where's my little heart?
1500
01:38:09,586 --> 01:38:10,669
Bankruptis, look.
1501
01:38:11,252 --> 01:38:13,002
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1502
01:38:13,919 --> 01:38:15,002
Classy!
1503
01:38:21,961 --> 01:38:22,794
One more plate.
1504
01:38:22,794 --> 01:38:24,919
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1505
01:38:25,919 --> 01:38:27,711
- I won't crack.
- Silly me.
1506
01:38:29,086 --> 01:38:30,669
Still don't miss it?
1507
01:38:31,169 --> 01:38:32,294
Not at all.
1508
01:38:32,794 --> 01:38:33,794
Honestly...
1509
01:38:34,294 --> 01:38:35,461
the smell is vile.
1510
01:38:36,752 --> 01:38:38,669
There are still triggers, though.
1511
01:38:39,627 --> 01:38:41,877
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1512
01:38:43,336 --> 01:38:44,336
Hi, Obelix.
1513
01:38:45,044 --> 01:38:45,877
Panacea.
1514
01:38:46,919 --> 01:38:47,836
I'm interrupting?
1515
01:38:48,877 --> 01:38:50,127
I can see I am.
1516
01:38:50,794 --> 01:38:51,961
You ignore me now.
1517
01:38:53,377 --> 01:38:54,586
Are the rumours true?
1518
01:38:54,586 --> 01:38:56,044
You and Ka Ra Tay?
1519
01:38:57,044 --> 01:38:57,961
Seriously?
1520
01:38:57,961 --> 01:39:00,169
Long-distance relationships don't work.
1521
01:39:00,169 --> 01:39:02,127
Honestly, her there, you here...
1522
01:39:02,127 --> 01:39:03,044
And I'm here.
1523
01:39:03,627 --> 01:39:06,336
Waiting for you for months, worried sick,
1524
01:39:06,336 --> 01:39:07,877
and you fall in love?
1525
01:39:08,752 --> 01:39:09,919
Don't you love me?
1526
01:39:10,836 --> 01:39:12,211
Is that a yes or a no?
1527
01:39:12,211 --> 01:39:13,544
You wanted me.
1528
01:39:14,044 --> 01:39:15,294
Is it a yes or a no?
1529
01:39:15,294 --> 01:39:17,336
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1530
01:39:17,336 --> 01:39:18,419
Panacea...
1531
01:39:19,711 --> 01:39:20,586
Don't bother.
1532
01:39:20,586 --> 01:39:23,461
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1533
01:39:25,252 --> 01:39:27,377
It's time for me to do the same.
1534
01:39:27,377 --> 01:39:28,419
Nothing personal.
1535
01:39:29,502 --> 01:39:30,544
Excuse me...
1536
01:39:31,377 --> 01:39:32,336
You're nuts.
1537
01:39:34,127 --> 01:39:35,419
But I'd...
1538
01:41:59,211 --> 01:42:00,169
Good, wasn't it?
1539
01:42:00,669 --> 01:42:02,419
Everyone had a great time.
1540
01:42:04,169 --> 01:42:05,377
Yes, a fine feast.
1541
01:42:08,377 --> 01:42:10,586
So Ka Ra Tay has gone home?
1542
01:42:10,586 --> 01:42:12,502
Sure. It's a long ride.
1543
01:42:14,544 --> 01:42:16,169
She said I'm her true love.
1544
01:42:17,377 --> 01:42:18,377
Did she?
1545
01:42:19,044 --> 01:42:19,877
Wonderful.
1546
01:42:21,044 --> 01:42:22,169
Even so...
1547
01:42:22,752 --> 01:42:23,669
she didn't stay?
1548
01:42:23,669 --> 01:42:25,502
She'd have loved to, but...
1549
01:42:26,002 --> 01:42:29,252
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1550
01:42:30,127 --> 01:42:31,752
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1551
01:42:32,252 --> 01:42:33,086
As grown-ups.
1552
01:42:34,211 --> 01:42:35,044
As grown-ups?
1553
01:42:35,627 --> 01:42:36,461
Yes.
1554
01:42:39,002 --> 01:42:40,586
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1555
01:42:46,127 --> 01:42:47,461
One for the road?
1556
01:42:47,461 --> 01:42:49,336
I wouldn't say no.
1557
01:42:58,627 --> 01:42:59,752
My chum!
1558
01:43:15,711 --> 01:43:16,794
{\an8}THE END
1559
01:43:16,794 --> 01:43:19,252
{\an8}For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo
1560
01:44:18,711 --> 01:44:20,252
You don't want me to sing?
1561
01:44:25,211 --> 01:44:26,502
I'm gonna sing anyway
1562
01:44:28,586 --> 01:44:30,377
You don't want me to sing?
1563
01:44:32,127 --> 01:44:34,086
You don't want me to sing
1564
01:44:34,086 --> 01:44:35,336
The surprise!
1565
01:44:35,336 --> 01:44:37,086
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1566
01:44:39,794 --> 01:44:42,669
So what is it? My voice or just me?
1567
01:44:42,669 --> 01:44:45,294
So is it me or my voice?
1568
01:44:46,294 --> 01:44:49,211
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1569
01:44:49,211 --> 01:44:50,961
Or is it just me?
1570
01:44:51,711 --> 01:44:54,419
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1571
01:44:55,711 --> 01:44:57,461
Don't do this, don't do that
1572
01:44:57,461 --> 01:45:00,294
Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it
1573
01:45:00,294 --> 01:45:03,211
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1574
01:45:28,377 --> 01:45:29,836
Caesar said,
1575
01:45:29,836 --> 01:45:31,961
"I want it gleaming when I get back."
1576
01:45:32,794 --> 01:45:33,877
So buff!
1577
01:45:34,711 --> 01:45:35,961
Buff, buff, buff!
1578
01:45:38,377 --> 01:45:39,586
That's the spirit!
1579
01:45:43,002 --> 01:45:44,252
You keep Gaul.
1580
01:45:44,252 --> 01:45:46,336
I take China, rest of the world.
1581
01:45:46,336 --> 01:45:47,711
It'll go gangbusters.
1582
01:45:47,711 --> 01:45:50,002
Take it or leave it right now.
1583
01:45:50,586 --> 01:45:52,127
What might go gangbusters?
1584
01:45:52,127 --> 01:45:54,002
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1585
01:45:54,002 --> 01:45:55,794
Top-notch merchants like me,
1586
01:45:55,794 --> 01:45:58,586
we read your lips
even five kilometers away.
1587
01:45:58,586 --> 01:46:00,586
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1588
01:46:00,586 --> 01:46:02,877
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1589
01:46:04,961 --> 01:46:07,836
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1590
01:46:07,836 --> 01:46:10,336
So just send him a message.
1591
01:46:10,336 --> 01:46:13,461
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1592
01:46:13,461 --> 01:46:16,127
It's in the bag. The rascal will be back.
1593
01:46:17,127 --> 01:46:20,002
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1594
01:46:22,961 --> 01:46:25,877
Flat out. You got a pigeon charger?
1595
01:46:26,461 --> 01:46:28,377
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1596
01:46:29,669 --> 01:46:31,461
With an Egyptian connector!
1597
01:46:32,252 --> 01:46:33,586
Why Egyptian?
1598
01:46:44,711 --> 01:46:47,211
Are you done making a ruckus?
1599
01:46:47,794 --> 01:46:49,461
We're trying to sleep!
1600
01:46:55,086 --> 01:46:56,002
Sorry.
1601
01:47:00,002 --> 01:47:01,836
Goodnight!
1602
01:47:01,836 --> 01:47:04,086
Goodnight, little Gauls!
1603
01:50:32,919 --> 01:50:35,127
Subtitle translation by Simon John