("Take It To Da House" by Trick Daddy)
♪ Get down, yes! Uh-huh uh-huh ♪
♪ Slip and slide records, uh ♪
♪ Being taken to the house, just get on up and get down ♪
-Miami, bitches! -Woo!
(all cheering)
-(all cheering) -(glasses clink)
Turn up!
♪ Take it to day house, c'mon now, uh, uh ♪
(yelps)
-Let me see them titties! -Baby!
-What happens in Miami... -(laughter)
Just kidding, Tom. One penis for the rest of my life!
-(laughter) -I can help who's next.
Oh! I'm next! It's my fucking bachelorette weekend!
(cheering)
Hey. Aren't you the rapper girl from that video?
♪ Niggas that's gon' make you ♪
♪ Get up out yo seat and get down ♪
Fan: Dang, what you doin' here?
♪ 'Cause I'm Black ♪
♪ Just because you with us, you can't hang with us ♪
♪ I got a mask for COVID, I ain't dangerous ♪
♪ And hands up in the air, they wanna aim at us ♪
♪ Went from picking cotton to counting money ♪
♪ I got paper cuts, I'm flexing ♪
-(rapping continues) -Yeah, this is you.
You was that soundtrack at the protest.
Yeah, yeah, that's me. That's, like, two years old.
Damn! That shit was cold.
Hey, we need more female rappers like you.
Sisters with self-respect.
-Man. So, why'd you stop? -(laughs)
You got to keep going.
No, I didn't stop! I didn't stop!
I'm just paying my bills. Like, I still make music
under The Vision. I actually just uploaded a video.
-Oh, for real? -Yeah.
♪ ...phenomenal creature ♪
♪ Capture your soul with her eyes ♪
♪ And be mesmerized by her features ♪
♪ The goddess, promise, nurturer ♪
♪ The guider, the teacher, with the body ♪
♪ The essence, the Garden of Eden ♪
♪ She's the one true savior... ♪
-So is this for, like, Women's History Month? -Shh, shh.
-(rap continues) -Okay.
You on that queen shit.
That's what's up. Hey,
I only want my daughter to listen to your shit.
That's so nice. How old is she?
Oh, I don't have one yet.
-Oh. -Ready?
-Alright. Keep your head up now! -Okay.
-Thank you! Thank you! -We have room for you!
-Oh! My username is @shawna... underscore... -Got it!
They're gone. Okay.
(typing, beep)
Hey, Jill! Um, I know you saw my texts, girl.
Your read receipts are on. Um...
Did you get any updates? Has Crystal heard the song yet?
-Let me know. -(beep)
♪ ♪
(crowd cheering)
♪ Easy money, I just pick it up and go, hey! ♪
♪ Easy money, I just pick it up and go ♪
♪ Got the money plays, blowing up my phone ♪
-(rap continues) -(scoffs)
(crowd cheering)
♪ Got the money plays, blowing up my phone ♪
♪ Hey! Easy money ♪
♪ ♪
Okay. See you. Have fun.
Shawna: Look at today's blazer, y'all. This nigga muttin'.
-Just say you like to show me off. -(scoffs) Oh my god.
Maurice, which one of y'all little hoes dress you today?
Oh, so-- (laughs, sniffs)
-So you puttin' your bid in? -Oh my god.
I'll teach you some things. I been trying to tell you.
-Shawna: No, no. -Guest: Excuse me.
Uh, w-where is the beach?
-It's everywhere. Bro, you ain't even trying. -(Shawna laughs)
-Shawna: What's wrong with you? What's with-- You were mean. -What you mean?
-I didn't even clock in yet. I didn't even clock in yet. -You a mean nigga.
She's back, she's back, she's back. She's back. Shh.
-The sham continues. -(singing): The Duke of Miami!
-The pussy-slanging plug. Ew! -(sighs)
Nah, but check it out. Pull up tonight...
Shawna: This is basically her office at this point.
-Maurice: Come on, she gotta scout clients for her hoes. -Hold up, hold up, hold up!
-You was in my boy Renaldo's section last night. -Oh yeah?
-Yeah, I hooked that up! Yes! -Oh word? How you know Renaldo?
Man, Renaldo? Li'l Ree-Ree?
-We used to slap box since we was like this age. -Oh. Slap box?
-Come on, now. Slap, slap, slap! -(nervous laugh)
-Okay. -What y'all on tonight?
Shawna: Whenever a VIP comes in,
she says she gonna connect them with another VIP.
Meanwhile, this bitch don't know nobody in this place.
-So green. -Say less. Ha!
Hey, you know you just described a genius to me, right?
-Bro, the sweat never dies, cuz. -Can you tell me where the jet skis are?
-You paying with cash? I can help you out. -Yeah.
-Let me help you out right now. -All that good stuff!
-Aight. -Man! Yeah, you know me--
Come on, now. Making plays. (laughs)
Hey, you recording me?
-Shawna: What? No! -You don't own this lobby!
(mic static)
Chastity: Look at her hatin' ass! Man, she--
Little bitch that work up here!
(laughs) Nah, man! Check this out!
-(music, crowd cheering) -We at the Office! Eh, turn up! You already know
the Duke of Miami, fresh tat on here. You see me?
Hey! We got money, we got bitches, we got bottles, we got it all!
You know how my section do. Pull up on them.
-Talk that shit, ladies! -(laughing)
-Talk to them, Guap! -What's happening, baby? You know what I'm sayin'? 2000.
-Where we at? We-- We at the Office. Yeah, it's going crazy. -Eh!
Hey, look! Our night's just getting started!
We fittin' to turn up tonight! I'm about to give them that
TittyBoi tour! You already know how I do!
-I'm typing "titties" in the GPS right now. -Hey!
-Where they at? -You know Lil Uzi?
-(ding) -Hey, look, I gotta connect y'all! (laughs)
(birds chirping)
♪ ♪
(street chatter)
(FaceTime ringing)
(ringing)
-Shh, I'm on the phone. Shawna! -Hey, Mia.
-Mia: Could-- -D-did you mean to FaceTime me?
-Oh no, you go ahead. Go ahead. Okay. -Yeah, I did. You--
I feel so bad calling you out the blue like this,
but you still work at the Plymouth?
-It's a day job, but yeah. Why? -(sighs) Thank you, Jesus.
I feel so burnt, but I need a favor.
My baby daddy was supposed to pick up my daughter from school,
-and he didn't wait. -Wait, she's in school already?
He never follow through and I be needing help.
But anyway, I'm doing makeup for these girls at the Plymouth,
and I don't wanna look all unprofessional and bring her.
-(screeches) -Y'all got some real-- Be quiet!
-Y'all got some rooms I can set her in? -Oh. Um...
Listen. I promise, I-I thought of everybody else I could call.
My mama at work. Lamont grandma is sick.
It's just...
I mean, it'll only be, like, for a few.
I just-- I just need somebody to watch her real quick.
No, it-it's fine. It's fine. I'll be there.
-Thank you so much, girl. -Yeah.
-Okay. I'll be there in, like, 30. Goodbye. -Thirty?
(beep)
(typing)
♪ ♪
Mia: Did I tell y'all about this one nigga who I used to fuck with?
That proposed to me on my birthday?
I said, "But, where is my present?"
Like, show me my present.
'Cause nobody wasn't trying to marry his debt.
Broke nigga.
♪ How you always pulling up, but you ain't got a will... ♪
Look-it, y'all. Do it again, Lissa!
(singing): How you do that? How you do that?
♪ How you do that? How you do that? ♪
Let me tell y'all something.
These niggas only know two things.
Pussy and money,
and they both go hand-in-hand, and if you got one,
you could get the other.
♪ Burn my city like a new jay ♪
Uh-uh, girl!
Who taught you that?
♪ Don't need no silicone because my ass too fat ♪
I gotta put her in a white preschool, okay?
DM me some spots!
I ain't above seducing and scheming these niggas.
Seduce and scheme! (laughs)
♪ Seduce and scheme ♪
♪ Seduce and scheme! ♪
And it's dat! (laughs)
♪ Seduce and scheme ♪
♪ Seduce and scheme! ♪
-And it's dat! (laughs) -(ding)
Y'all got me actin' all crazy out here on my lunch break.
-(beep) -Why do you have to record me?
Because it's a reaction video!
And when people search for the song,
they gonna find my shit, too.
Or they could just google "hobosexual Haitian,"
-and you the first result. -Bro,
I'm tryin' to put you on game.
Okay, you always complain about being slept on,
-but you don't wanna put them to sleep. -Please just play the video
before Angie comes back and fires us again.
♪ It's Reina Reign, bitches ♪
(mouthing)
♪ Okay, he right back in it like it's crack ♪
♪ 'Cause once you fuck with Reign ♪
♪ You ain't never going back ♪
Shawna: Why are you showing me this?
Pussy this, pussy that. What's, what is it about?
(paper printing)
You know that girl you put me onto, like, two years ago
-who was doing acoustic covers of rap songs? -Yeah...
(rapping)
-Wait. No... -Mm. God...
-This is a white? -This a white.
-Shawna: She looks so different. -Maurice: Yeah, she does.
Shawna: She got a lot of work done.
-Maurice: Yeah, she did. -Oh my god, look at her nose.
-Look at her ass! -It's good.
She used to be, like, Kirsten Dunst white.
Yep.
That's your boy's doing right there.
-(crinkling paper) -My boy?
Francois Boom. That's how I found her.
♪ Okay, he right back in it ♪
Maurie: Oh shit, you ain't know?
I mean, maybe if you were
to listen to that nigga,
you would have had a million views, too. Ew...
♪ Y'all know where to fucking find 'em ♪
♪ If you looking for 'em, riding through Bal Harbour... ♪
-Guest: Excuse me? Ma'am? -(song stops)
I requested an early check-in, and they are telling me
that my room isn't ready.
Okay, just follow me to the front desk.
We gonna get you figured out.
Guest: Just call me when my room is ready.
I will be taking this to corporate!
-(ding) -Shawna: Okay.
♪ ♪
(hotel phone ringing)
-Hm. Alright! Okay. -(beep)
Now, you can make videos just like Mommy does.
-You wanna make a tutorial? -Yeah!
-Okay. (laughs) -Mia: She gotta record every damn thing.
I gotta watch what I do around her.
Melissa: Okay...
Damn, I can't believe how big she is.
Yeah, she was like 2 last time you seen her.
-What was that at? -Shawna: Oh, that was at, um,
Karena's "Back That Ass Up" barbecue. (laughs)
Right.
Um, I can K-Wang now. I mean, I'm not good at it,
but I c-- I could do it. I could hold my own.
The aunties will be proud.
-Mommy, can you pass me the purple lipstick? -Mia: Girl,
you see I'm trying to pack up and leave,
and you gonna ask me for the purple lipstick?
(sighs)
Okay, let me help.
Thank you.
Oh! Girl, I seen you had got signed, and...
you had a viral video or something like that?
Yeah. Um...
Yeah, it didn't work out. It didn't work out,
but I decided I'm better off doing my own stuff anyway, so...
I be watching your other raps sometime.
You be going off!
(laughs) But girl...
why you wear that mask?
Because I want people to focus on my lyricism,
not what I look like. You know,
all these female rappers have their ass and titties out
just to be taken seriously? Come on, that's wack.
Mm. I mean, the game is the game.
Hey, look, (clears throat)
I really, really appreciate you though.
if you ever need a face done,
a favor, whatever, just... just hit me.
-Okay. -Okay?
Oh my god. (laughs)
Girl, what you doing over there with this makeup?
Listen, please don't use all the battery on Ms. Shawna's phone.
And don't use the iPad while it's plugged in the wall
-because what? -Because it can explode in my face...
Exactly, and then nobody wanna watch your little videos, okay?
I love you. Give me air kiss.
(kissing)
-Alright, I gotta go. Good luck. -Shawna: See you.
(laughs) Oh!
How I look?
-Mm... -(door shuts)
-I'm cute? -Need a little more touch.
("Raindrops" by GoldLink)
♪ When I post, the news stop, if I post my nudes, I ♪
♪ Have the world like ooh aah ♪
♪ This right here that new bop ♪
♪ Type to make the mood stop ♪
♪ I don't follow rules, I just break them and call my ♪
♪ Yo, call me on my celly phone ♪
♪ Hate when you leave me alone ♪
♪ I don't like to Instagram ♪
♪ I don't like when you be out ♪
♪ I just want yo fine ass home ♪
♪ I know exes hate me, now can't date you ♪
♪ So, they hate you now ♪
Yes, you, sir.
Thank you, Attorney Crump. How do we bring change
to policing in this country
so there can be greater accountability?
Benjamin Crump: You asked a very profound question.
You always do this. Can you move your hand so I can read it?
-What? -Are you serious? Do you s-- Do you see how stingy he is?
-Share! -Cliff: You're looking at my whole outline!
In this special live edition of Crabs In A Barrel,
the King Nigga Crab strikes again.
(laughter)
(music slows down)
♪ ♪
Trivia Host: The original Jack Ryan...
-Harrison Ford! -No, no! Alec Baldwin!
-Trivia Host: Fatima for the win! -(cheering)
Bus Announcer: (on PA) Next stop, Block East,
2nd Avenue and 62nd Street.
(car honking)
-Maurice: God... -This is a white?
-Look at her ass! -Maurice: So you ain't know?
Shawna: Oh, my god. She got so much work done.
-(video stops) -(typing)
♪ ♪
-It's Reina. -It's Francois.
♪ I do this shit every day ♪
♪ Ain't nothing change but the play ♪
♪ Hustle the same, pretty and paid ♪
♪ Bad but you broke and you lame, we ain't the same ♪
♪ Swerve out my lane, hoe, nobody knows you you Jane Doe ♪
♪ Slim in the waist, yo dude wanna taste ♪
♪ It's Reina, you know what I came for ♪
-(music continues) -I produced this shit!
Boy, what you know about that Boom Factor?
We livin', boy, we livin'! Look! Look!
Fuck all these broke boys! (laughs)
But look, I got the ashtray.
When you a successful artist,
you know that money comin' right back.
I'll burn this shit.
I'll make this shit back today.
Follow Francois Boom, send this to a broke boy!
Broke boy or girl! There's girls out here that's broke! I know some.
I know y'all mad! Y'all mad, too, look!
(laughing) Y'all mad?
-(Francois echoing) -(beep)
You know what? Fuck this.
I'm tired of being slept on!
I'm tired of being underrated!
Y'all's favorites are out here doing the bare minimum
with no originality, while I'm over here
living and breathing this rap shit! What?
I'm done being patient. No. I'm done caring.
(scoff) Y'all say, "Ooh,
I want a different type of female rapper."
No, you fucking don't! No, you don't!
'Cause you're not supporting me! You're not supporting any of us!
So what's the point? Y'all listen to the same shit
over and over again! It's tired!
(sighs) It's with a heavy heart, I'm gonna just
tell y'all right now, I'm retiring. Here.
Here's my pink slip. That's it. I'm done.
'Cause I work too fuckin' hard
and y'all don't respect good music.
(sighs)
-Y'all lost a real one. -(FaceTime ringing)
(sighs)
-(ringing) -It's just such a sell-out move.
Now, he's promoting this Blackface-ass artist.
Y'all fell out years ago.
You're on different waves. Nobody's even associating you
with him anymore.
Oh, wait. Are we gettin' started?
Wait, I-I made a playlist.
-Okay. -Wait. What?
I really just took songs from the Dream Radio.
(soft soul music playing)
Oh. Oh, yeah. Can we, um, can we try for another night?
Tonight's already another time.
No, no, no. I just-- I'm not in the mood. I feel stupid.
You think I don't?
I'm not-- I'm not proud to be having virtual sex,
but we haven't seen each other in four months.
Cliff, I'm gonna see you in, like, two weeks.
You bought the ticket?
Almost.
(music continues)
So, no?
No! I don't even (laughs)
look good right now. I don't even feel good.
No, you look sexy! Come on.
I don't know, Cliff.
I feel-- I just feel behind.
Behind what?
You wouldn't get it.
Your life has a track. You can see your progress.
-Your future is guaranteed. -(laughs)
No, it's not. Nothing is guaranteed for me.
Okay. Like I said, you do not get it.
Is fighting gonna make you feel better?
Because I feel like you just tryin' to pick a fight.
Maybe I wouldn't pick fights if you weren't commenting
on other girls' Instagram photos.
What are you even talking about?
Y-you're deflecting hard as hell right now.
I'm not deflecting. Fatima likes you,
and you are literally always with her.
I'm always around a bunch of people. We study together.
(sighs)
Do you think I'm stupid?
I'ma go finish studying.
Just text me when you're ready to stop playing
-these silly-ass games. -(beep)
-Shawna: Ma'am, we are so sorry. -Guest: You are not sorry.
If you were sorry, you would fix it!
We have all these rooms at capacity. There are so many conferences--
I know there are conferences! I am speaking at one!
-You know what? Let me talk to your manager. -Okay, give me one sec.
Guest: This is absolutely ridiculous. Look at her.
She's so satisfied with herself. She is so happy
-about being bad at her job. -(shutter snap)
-Give me my card! -Shawna: Here you go.
Guest: Just call me when my room is ready.
I will be taking this to corporate!
Shawna: Hey, I got another card.
Um, how soon can you get me some cash?
(beep)
(laughter)
Shawna, that smell good! Uh, you make enough for me and bae?
(nervous laugh)
-Just kidding. -Mia: (on video) Girl,
in Miami, we don't play that, alright?
You gotta let these dudes know what you ain't about.
Okay, if you not paying my rent, I ain't 'bout it,
Alright? If you're not on your hustle, I ain't 'bout it.
Mm-hmm. If you can't satisfy me, I ain't 'bout it!
If you're too emotionally available,
and bald, I ain't 'bout it!
-(laughter) -Yes! Specifics! Let 'em know!
Mariah: Come on, Mia! Look at the camera.
-Wait, do a picture with us! -(gasps) Mia!
To all the bitches who need to hear this.
Stop depending on these niggas.
'Cause all they're gonna do is disappoint you.
Like, fuck a broke, useless male.
Real bitches gonna ride for you.
I ain't never been the type,
"Oh, I can't stand these females."
Uh-uh. Nah. Real bitches...
gonna rock with realer bitches. (scoffs)
Good night.
(popping)
(typing)
♪ ♪
(beep)
♪ Nobody nobody, we can get gangsta ♪
♪ Or we can keep it cordial, how you wanna go about it? ♪
♪ How you wanna do? I don't backtrack, man, fuck that ♪
♪ I don't miss nobody, I don't miss nothing ♪
♪ Left it on seen, I ain't write back ♪
♪ I don't trust nobody, I just looked at my wrist ♪
♪ I got tired today, fuck it, I'm crossing the line today ♪
(laughs) Yeah, I used to dance.
But, I don't like niggas touching me though.
Nah, I gotta want you to touch me.
♪ That shit that you just put out, you coulda kept, yep ♪
♪ She got a nigga, he got a shirt, why? ♪
Yeah, I can dance for you.
♪ She ate the D through my underwear ♪
♪ Got up and got ourself outta there ♪
♪ I see they put me on memes and things ♪
♪ Don't speak on my life without knowing the real ♪
♪ Eight figures a year woulda cost me the leader ♪
♪ Don't hold it, just say what you feel ♪
♪ But watch your mouth before I flash your bitch ♪
♪ To a place that she didn't know exist ♪
You gotta pay extra for that.
♪ Keeping my piece on top of my sheet, six figure chip... ♪
-Tips are welcome. -(cash register dings)
(laughs) Oh, you quick to spend.
♪ Bitch on like nigga zone, like bitches on like nobody ♪
♪ Nobody, nobody, we can get gangsta ♪
♪ We can keep it cordial, how you wanna go about it? ♪
♪ How you wanna do it? I don't backtrack, man, fuck that ♪
♪ I don't miss nobody, I don't miss nothing ♪
♪ Left it on seen, I ain't write back ♪
♪ I don't trust nobody, I just looked at my wrist ♪
♪ I got time today, fuck it, I'm crossing the line today ♪
-(musical timer beeping) -Oh!
Well... (laughs)
I'll see y'all again next Tuesday.
Thank y'all for subscribing!
(FaceTime ringing)
-(loud music, rapping) -Yo!
-(crowd chatter, laughter) -What happened today?
-You say what? -What happened today?
(music continues)
Hey, yo, I'm in the middle of this studio session.
It is kinda loud, so you gonna have to speak up--
Okay, so turn the music down! Step outside! I mean, it's...
It's... Fucking stupid?
Aight, or keep using your outside voice.
-I can hear you like that. -Rapper: She about to crack a whip...
Okay, so stop acting like you can't hear me then!
-Chill out, man, just chill. -I already don't like your ass.
-Hold up. -(rappers laugh)
(shuts door, music stops)
What's popping?
I need your half of the money for the rent.
And for Melissa.
I told you I got you.
And you don't. (laughs)
You couldn't even pick up your daughter from preschool.
It's not that hard, Lamont! Damn!
I work three jobs. Why are you over there
just doin' whatever the fuck you want to do?
-Pitching in whenever the fuck you feel like it? -Okay.
So first, I'm really praying that my daughter's asleep,
so she ain't gotta hear all this, you know,
foul language and negativity and stuff like that.
And second, I really don't appreciate, like, the assertion
that I'm just in here doing me and shit like that
when I'm working
-with the one and only prolific Ocho-8... -Lamont!
-...who just complimented my motherfucking work ethic... -Lamont!
'cause I'm here doing this shit, aight? For real, for real.
-I just want to hear about the money, like... -Nah--
Lemme finish. My bad if I paused
and that was too long for you, but I wasn't finished.
Alright, you can indulge me until the end of my statement,
which is...
I got you. Okay?
-You'll have some relief by next week. -Next week too late, Lamont!
Rent due Friday! Damn!
Stop making me do this shit by myself!
I need a partner!
Catch more flies with honey, love.
Fuck the flies!
-(bass-heavy music) -Yo! Y'all know what might motherfucking hit?
-What's that? -Nigga, accordions.
-What, like, accordions? -Lamont: Yeah, nigga! That shit just came to me.
Yes, accordions. Yeah, that shit with the air in the middle!
-Yeah! -(excited chatter)
Let's go! All me.
-Did you see that? Genius shit. -(shuts door, music stops)
But other than that, you good though, li'l mama?
(hangs up)
Stupid-ass G.
("Sidewalk" by Jucee Froot)
♪ Jucee... get back ♪
♪ These niggas sidewalk, they ain't street ♪
♪ These niggas ride dick way better than me ♪
♪ These nigga pillowtalkin'... ♪
'Cause the party going dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
(laughs)
Girl, what kind of parties you be at?
Oh, I was-- I was being sarcastic.
♪ I buy that shit ♪
♪ Hoe don't try me bitch, this that body shit ♪
To a reunion.
-Reunited! -(clink)
Let's bust it!
♪ Get her on the Henny, she gonna turn into...♪
-You still talk to Tomás? -Who is that?
♪ Bitches want no smoke with me ♪
♪ I beat 'em like they anime ♪
Y'all, we got tired of paying for these drinks,
so we are brown-bagging it.
-Y'all know Shawna ain't never been in no strip club? Never. -Yes-- No-- Yes, I have!
-I just have never been to The Office! -(laughs)
She about to get turnt up!
Say it again, Mia. Say it again.
I said we ain't waitin' in no line.
Bad bitches don't wait in line.
-Just walk in like that? -Yeah! Let's go.
Yeah! Hey, Mia, baby!
-Yo, niggas! -Oh, look at this nigga here. (laughs)
What's up? Girl, you keep popping up like a jackrabbit
-in a box or something, or a Jack in the Box. -Man, this my spot.
Girl, this our spot. You know her? You know Shawna?
-I-- Yeah-- -Girl, come on!
-(club music playing) -(laughs) I didn't know
their whole coochies was gonna be out like this.
(cheering, loud chatter)
I told her she ain't ever been to no strip club.
(laughs)
♪ Ass shaker, money maker ♪
♪ Killing these hoes, undertaker ♪
♪ I can pop my pussy in Jamaica ♪
♪ But I'd rather just give him that damn flavor ♪
♪ Tell me where the dollars at ♪
♪ Where the bottles at? I can show you ♪
♪ What this kitty do, where the honey at ♪
(music fades out)
305! We live!
-And faded! Hey! -Yeah!
Girl! Ooh! Whatever happened to, um,
what's his name? Fine nigga back in Ms. Rodriguez's class?
-Who? -Tishawn!
-Man... -Where he at? That boy was so fine.
-Man, you know he was in jail for armed robbery? -What?
-Yes, girl, with, like, four kids. -No!
-Man, what a waste of fine. -Always be the cute ones.
-Mm-mm-mmm. -Free him, y'all. We gotta do something.
-(laughs) -Put it in the comments.
-Ugh! -You know what though
What's up? (laughs)
-I ain't wanna come out with you tonight. -Why?
Because I felt like... I felt like after high school,
you just peaced all the way out...
-No. -...and actin' brand new.
No, that's not how it happened.
Yes, you did.
Like you thought you was better than everybody.
You thought I thought I was better than you?
-Yeah. -Mm-mmm.
-That don't make sense. -I mean, you stopped hitting me up
after I had Melissa.
Like, I know we...
we got different lives and shit,
but I didn't go to college.
My family ain't come from no money.
I ain't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.
-Shit just hit me. -(sighs)
I was mad at first.
Then I just chalked that shit up.
Mia, I'm... I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to make you feel like that,
and it wasn't like that at all.
-(sighs) -If I'm being honest,
I never got my degree.
-Damn. What happened? -I...
dropped out to work with this...
manipulative producer,
and I thought that he and I were gonna make it together.
Younger me never thought I would still be here, back in Florida,
working at the Plymouth, not doing shit. Like...
it's really, really embarrassing.
You good, girl.
At least you weren't stripping at The Office like I was.
Shit, I'd rather have a piece of degree
than be where I'm at right now.
Shit, I thought I was gonna be big, too.
(both laugh)
-I was gonna be big! -(laughs)
Or married to somebody who was.
(both laugh)
Oh shit! We still on live with this fake deep shit.
-No... Oh, turn it off. -Nah, nah, nah!
-Girl, nah! No! -Turn it off, please. Please...
We gotta turn up. (laughs)
(rap song playing on radio)
I haven't heard this since...
♪ Street money ♪
-(laughing) -(song continues)
-Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. -Ooh.
-You gotta spit one of your bars for them. -No.
-Yeah. -No.
-Man... -I have to be inspired, Mia.
-Inspired? -It's a whole... Yeah.
Girl, you need a mask?
-'Cause I got a durag in the backseat. -Okay.
What should I rap about?
Girl, you the rapper, your life.
I just told you my life is trash. Like...
Well, rap about me.
Shit. Gimme something.
(song continues)
We be back! Ha!
-We back y'all! (laughs) -Hello, hello.
Listen, my girlfriend is spittin' some bars for y'all.
-You ready, Nana? -Girl, yes. I'm ready. Let's go.
-Let's do it. -I'm I'm finna turn the instrumental on.
-Play something good. Need a beat. -Yeah.
(hip-hop instrumental playing)
-You remember! Okay, okay. -(laughs)
-Just step, so clean... -Ah! Ah!
-...seduce, and scheme! -Ah! Ah!
♪ All these niggas in Little Haiti, they wanna date me ♪
♪ Bougie bitches, me and Mia, you gotta pay me ♪
-Seduce and scheme! -Okay!
-(laughs) -Seduce and scheme! Ah!
♪ I take Visa and PPP ♪
♪ I ain't taking email, nigga, CC me ♪
-Seduce and scheme! -We don't take Discovery, nigga!
-Declined! Mm! -(laughs) Seduce and scheme!
♪ That little bitch, five-foot-six ♪
♪ Hood Houdini, I turn a trapper to a trick ♪
-Seduce and scheme! -Alakazam, nigga!
-Seduce and scheme! -Abracadabra!
♪ I'm at the bank with it, my walk stank with it ♪
♪ I need a charity the way I stay giving ♪
-Seduce and scheme! -You know, wait!
-Seduce and scheme! -Y'all niggas is acting real needy right now.
♪ Bitch, pass the Henny, her bag is Fendi ♪
♪ Riding with niggas who don't got gas to gimme ♪
♪ I'ma check the deuce and leave ♪
♪ You think I like your smile? Nigga, it's the jewels for me ♪
♪ Straight off the dome, Mia chose the beat ♪
♪ And that's the motto we follow and it's seduce and scheme! ♪
(both whooping, laughing)
You really came up with that off the top of your head like that?
Yeah! I'm a rapper! That shit's easy!
Oh my god. You know what? We should start a rap group.
-Mia, come on. -Man, y'all, we fittin' to start a rap group,
-and, of course, I'm fittin' to be the pretty hype bitch. -Come on!
-Look at me. -How about you be a bitch that tags a hoe?
-That shit slap. -Mia: I wanna rap.
-Shawna: You can rap. You can rap. -Mia: Man! Uh,
-Elon Musky! Y'all need to sign my girl! -(laughs)
-Shawna: We going to Mars with this shit! -(laughs)
(musical alarm playing)
(alarm stops)
♪ ♪
(notification ding)
-We back, y'all! -Hello, hello.
Listen, my girlfriend is spittin' some bars for y'all.
-You ready, Nana? -Girl, yes, I'm ready.
Mia: Okay, I'm finna turn the instrumental on.
-Shawna: Play something good. Need a beat. -Mia: Yeah.
(hip-hop instrumental)
-Shawna: You remember? -(laughs)
-Okay, okay. Just step, so clean... -Mia: Ah!
-...seduce, and scheme! -Ah! Ah!
-Shawna: All these niggas-- -(video stops)
-("In This Bih" playing) -(FaceTime ringing)
♪ What? And I get down with any bitch ♪
♪ He talking like he went ♪
(FaceTime answers)
♪ Met somebody in my city ♪
♪ Now bitch fuckin' with me ♪
♪ You at me on the gram ♪
♪ When you see me bitch I'm with it ♪
♪ Get some force up out the nigga ♪
♪ Run his pockets, then I'm dipping ♪
♪ You know I'm really with it ♪
♪ When I step I caught a city ♪
♪ And yo nigga wanna fuck ♪
♪ I told that nigga he a duck ♪
♪ And he done gave me all your money ♪
♪ So I guess you outta luck ♪
♪ Tell this nigga get yo bitch ♪
♪ Before I'm battering her shit ♪
♪ Man, that hoe ain't talking bout nuthin' ♪
♪ Oh god, I sat up in your shit ♪
♪ This for you dirty ass hoes who used to run with me ♪
♪ You sneaking out the house like a moth ♪
♪ Can't have no company, your mama took your phone ♪
♪ She curse you out, you say you trapping though ♪
♪ You know you a freak, you sucking dick ♪
♪ Now why you cappin' hoe, this for you nappy ass hoes ♪
♪ Who want to front 'em ♪
♪ Bitches talking shit but sucking dick ♪
♪ For a bundle, I let you bitches talk ♪
♪ But they be looking for the clout ♪
♪ If you ain't really 'bout it why you clapping and you loud? ♪
♪ Shit you with it, shit, I'm with it, shit ♪
♪ I'm bumping for real ♪
♪ Man, ya nigga be talking, I had to tell him to chill ♪
♪ He be blowing up my phone and he be telling me shit ♪
♪ I know you see me in his phone ♪
♪ I know you having a fit ♪
♪ You can catch me Alabama, you can pull up in Cabana ♪
♪ I be posted on your street, I bet you got this on repeat ♪
♪ I bet you got this on repeat, I bet you got this on repeat ♪
♪ I bet you got this on repeat, I bet you got this on repeat! ♪
♪ Yeah! Badass hoes... ♪