1 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:10,216 Well, John Essex, 2 00:00:10,217 --> 00:00:11,968 I'm here to say goodbye. 3 00:00:11,969 --> 00:00:14,721 {\an8}I came here to revolutionize comedy 4 00:00:14,722 --> 00:00:17,890 {\an8}and become the first BIPOC, sex-positive Mark Twain. 5 00:00:17,891 --> 00:00:20,768 But instead, all I did was skip class and tap ass. 6 00:00:20,769 --> 00:00:23,104 I know that actually makes it sound pretty cool, 7 00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:25,189 but I promise, it's not. 8 00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:27,483 The truth is, I'm a dick. 9 00:00:27,484 --> 00:00:29,652 I alienated every group I joined, 10 00:00:29,653 --> 00:00:31,696 I put my ambition before my friendships, 11 00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:34,824 and I squandered all my opportunities. 12 00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:36,534 So... (sighs) I'm leaving. 13 00:00:36,535 --> 00:00:39,120 I'll miss you and my roommates, 14 00:00:39,121 --> 00:00:41,247 and of course, the endless sea 15 00:00:41,248 --> 00:00:43,624 of ripped men who shared their bodies so freely. 16 00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:46,669 But I need to work on my hardest project yet: 17 00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:48,504 myself. 18 00:00:48,505 --> 00:00:51,632 Also, damn, you have a thick neck. 19 00:00:51,633 --> 00:00:53,551 And you're what, seven foot, three? 20 00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:55,845 If we were here at the same time, Johnny, 21 00:00:55,846 --> 00:00:57,096 I would've been all over you. 22 00:00:57,097 --> 00:00:58,473 Excuse me, miss? 23 00:00:58,474 --> 00:01:00,350 Bela Malhotra? Were you just in there 24 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,477 - asking to transfer schools? - Yes. That was me. 25 00:01:02,478 --> 00:01:04,354 You see, my first year of college was not 26 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:05,772 what I had hoped for. 27 00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:07,648 After giving a few hand jobs to secure a spot 28 00:01:07,649 --> 00:01:09,233 in an elite comedy magazine, I rea-- 29 00:01:09,234 --> 00:01:10,443 Yeah, I don't need to know all of that, 30 00:01:10,444 --> 00:01:11,778 but you can't transfer. 31 00:01:11,779 --> 00:01:13,112 I've worked here for 30 years, 32 00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:15,281 I've never seen a GPA as low as yours. 33 00:01:15,282 --> 00:01:16,866 A girl in a coma did better than you. 34 00:01:16,867 --> 00:01:19,869 Yeah, but that was clearly, like, political. 35 00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,537 I think your only option is to come back here in the fall 36 00:01:21,538 --> 00:01:23,041 and try and get your grades up. 37 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,292 Also, that's not John Essex. It's Jacob Meier-Yates. 38 00:01:26,293 --> 00:01:27,627 And he was a bad man. 39 00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:29,879 He froze to death on the Oregon Trail 40 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,590 after eating his family. 41 00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:34,175 Yikes! 42 00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:36,344 Really need to work on my taste in men. 43 00:01:36,345 --> 00:01:37,888 {\an8}♪ You do ♪ 44 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,390 {\an8}♪ Bet, bet on that ♪ 45 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,310 ♪ You do ♪ 46 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,227 ♪ Bet, bet on that ♪ 47 00:01:44,228 --> 00:01:45,730 ♪ You do ♪ 48 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,564 ♪ Bet, bet on that... ♪ 49 00:01:48,565 --> 00:01:50,566 Summer was so fun. 50 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,568 I can't wait to tell everyone 51 00:01:52,569 --> 00:01:54,404 about our backpacking trip to Europe. 52 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:56,656 Same, but just as a reminder, 53 00:01:56,657 --> 00:01:59,283 what we did was definitely not backpacking. 54 00:01:59,284 --> 00:02:00,827 You hired a chauffeur 55 00:02:00,828 --> 00:02:03,329 and we stayed in luxury hotels the whole time. 56 00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:04,539 Yeah, I mean, sure, but I did have 57 00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:05,915 a really cute little backpack. 58 00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:08,084 God, I love Vermont. 59 00:02:08,085 --> 00:02:11,546 The leaves, the mountains, the maple syrup. 60 00:02:11,547 --> 00:02:13,172 If it wasn't for their insane socialist politics, 61 00:02:13,173 --> 00:02:14,757 I would move here. 62 00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:17,427 Well, you know, it's a great place for lesbians. 63 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,721 Yeah, lesbians who love to pay inheritance tax. 64 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,639 Dad, it's so nice spending time with you, 65 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,349 but you really didn't have to come for move-in day. 66 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:25,435 Honey, I'm not gonna miss out on a road trip 67 00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:27,228 with my favorite gal pals, okay? 68 00:02:27,229 --> 00:02:29,355 Plus, I've been a little depressed, 69 00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:31,107 and your mom said I had to get out of the house. 70 00:02:31,108 --> 00:02:33,443 Oh, um, do you mind just pulling over? 71 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,279 Um, yeah. Yeah, sure, of course. 72 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,114 Is-is everything okay? 73 00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:39,782 It's fine. It's... just a quick call. 74 00:02:39,783 --> 00:02:41,453 Sorry. 75 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,081 Just one minute. 76 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,124 If you think she's talking to some other girl, 77 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:49,419 you're wrong. 78 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,753 I mean, that was my first thought, too, 79 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,757 but I just don't want your mind to go there. 80 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,632 ♪ One day ♪ 81 00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:59,052 ♪ Soon you'll be loving me... ♪ 82 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:03,306 {\an8}Ooh, the first Finkle to make it to the second year of college. 83 00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:04,807 You did it, honey! 84 00:03:04,808 --> 00:03:06,392 You lasted longer than your cousin Ron 85 00:03:06,393 --> 00:03:07,977 who got kicked out of Arizona State 86 00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:09,979 for AirDropping photos of his penis to strangers. 87 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,773 I'm very proud, Mom. 88 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,232 Well, have you heard back from Whitney yet? 89 00:03:13,233 --> 00:03:14,692 No. She's still ghosting me 90 00:03:14,693 --> 00:03:16,277 'cause of all the Canaan stuff. 91 00:03:16,278 --> 00:03:18,321 Oh, honey, look, fighting over a boy is 92 00:03:18,322 --> 00:03:21,324 such small potatoes in the lifetime of a friendship. 93 00:03:21,325 --> 00:03:23,451 - Everything's gonna be okay. - Thanks, Mom. 94 00:03:23,452 --> 00:03:26,913 Well, I, for one, am very excited to meet Canaan. 95 00:03:26,914 --> 00:03:29,666 - Dad, what are you wearing? - Do you like it? 96 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:32,168 Donald Glover wore something very similar at the, uh, BAFTAs. 97 00:03:32,169 --> 00:03:35,463 Uh, it's... very iridescent. 98 00:03:35,464 --> 00:03:38,216 Yeah, and not very breathable. I'm sweating like a pig. 99 00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:40,426 - It's bad. - Okay. 100 00:03:40,427 --> 00:03:42,595 Uh, but worth it to impress your new boyfriend. 101 00:03:42,596 --> 00:03:44,138 Oh, he's not my boyfriend. 102 00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:45,181 We haven't defined things in that way. 103 00:03:45,182 --> 00:03:46,683 Sorry. Uh, "partner" 104 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,476 or whatever, whatever young people say now. 105 00:03:48,477 --> 00:03:50,520 - I think it's person-friend? - Oh, person-friend. 106 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,105 - It's not. - Okay. 107 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,648 - Okay. - Well, we should get on the road. 108 00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:55,692 - Okay. Love you, guys. - Oh, I love you. 109 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:57,652 Wait, wait, wait, I thought we're all going out to lunch. 110 00:03:57,653 --> 00:03:59,487 I want Canaan to, uh, see my shirt and like me. 111 00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:01,280 Yeah, I'll tell him about it. Love you, guys. 112 00:04:01,281 --> 00:04:02,407 Love you! 113 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:03,700 ♪ But for what? ♪ 114 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,410 ♪ For what... ♪ 115 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:06,828 Show us 116 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,788 you mother-daughter drop-off dance. 117 00:04:08,789 --> 00:04:11,958 ♪ Just want that Hailey JB... ♪ 118 00:04:11,959 --> 00:04:14,252 It's perfect. I cannot wait to post this. 119 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:17,797 I dare Chris Matthews to say I'm alarmingly stiff again. 120 00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:20,299 Okay, well, I'm just glad I get to help you 121 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,218 with your important, mission-driven work, Mom. 122 00:04:22,219 --> 00:04:26,139 I love you so much. 123 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:29,684 And I know your sophomore year is going to be incredible-- 124 00:04:29,685 --> 00:04:31,853 There she is! 125 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,439 Oh, my God! Stop! I know her. 126 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,484 - You know this assailant? - Oh, my God. 127 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,402 Um, she's not an assailant, Mom. 128 00:04:39,403 --> 00:04:41,237 This is my sorority sister, Ashlie. 129 00:04:41,238 --> 00:04:43,448 I'm sorry, Ashlie. Since January 6th, 130 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,074 we have a no-tolerance policy 131 00:04:45,075 --> 00:04:47,201 for strawberry-blonde women running at me. 132 00:04:47,202 --> 00:04:50,040 Oh, oh, my God, no, I'm fine. My spine took the brunt of it. 133 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,708 Let me help you with those, my new sister. 134 00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:56,546 Not "sista." That's never okay. 135 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,005 I am just gonna say it. 136 00:04:59,006 --> 00:05:00,965 I think it's weird that you're living here. 137 00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:02,425 It's not weird, Mom. 138 00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:03,926 The Kappa house is like the Four Seasons. 139 00:05:03,927 --> 00:05:05,803 Plus, it's close to the soccer field, okay? 140 00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:07,805 - It's gonna be a great year. - I am just surprised 141 00:05:07,806 --> 00:05:09,098 you're not living with Kimberly again. 142 00:05:09,099 --> 00:05:10,433 I liked her. 143 00:05:10,434 --> 00:05:11,642 She would text me the GPS coordinates 144 00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:13,269 of any party you were attending. 145 00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:16,147 Yeah, well, Kimberly and I... 146 00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:17,273 What's wrong, honey? 147 00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:19,150 Nothing, I just needed a change. 148 00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:20,651 You want to walk me inside? 149 00:05:20,652 --> 00:05:23,279 Sure. 150 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:26,325 Their game is not that good. Trust me on this. 151 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,627 I would never objectify a young man. 152 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,463 But I will keep staring until he walks by. 153 00:05:40,464 --> 00:05:42,840 Mom, stop. Weird. 154 00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:46,513 ♪ So much for hoping ♪ 155 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,307 ♪ So much for knowing. ♪ 156 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,142 Oh, thank God you're here. 157 00:05:53,143 --> 00:05:54,602 This is a disaster. 158 00:05:54,603 --> 00:05:56,104 We live in a triple. 159 00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:57,605 Oh, hi, Bela. 160 00:05:57,606 --> 00:05:59,607 My summer was great, too. Thank you for asking. 161 00:05:59,608 --> 00:06:01,025 How weird is this? 162 00:06:01,026 --> 00:06:03,027 This is the common room, and then all of us sleep 163 00:06:03,028 --> 00:06:04,320 in that one tiny bedroom. 164 00:06:04,321 --> 00:06:05,613 Oh, hell no. 165 00:06:05,614 --> 00:06:06,781 Isn't it fucking weird? 166 00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:08,991 Guys, it's three beds in a room. 167 00:06:08,992 --> 00:06:11,661 Yeah, but it's, like, asymmetrical. 168 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,538 I'm getting dizzy. I need to sit down. 169 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,581 I am not sleeping on some bunk bed 170 00:06:15,582 --> 00:06:17,166 like some sleepaway camp nobody. 171 00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,584 Dibs on the single. 172 00:06:18,585 --> 00:06:19,794 I think you guys are both being dramatic. 173 00:06:19,795 --> 00:06:21,295 It's not just that. 174 00:06:21,296 --> 00:06:22,922 This is just strange without Whitney. 175 00:06:22,923 --> 00:06:25,133 Yeah. She was our Sporty Spice. 176 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,260 We're 25% less hot now. 177 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:28,761 I miss that bitch. 178 00:06:28,762 --> 00:06:31,848 Well, I for one think this new room is amazing. 179 00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:34,267 The view is so much better from the top floor. 180 00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,852 We're gonna see so many birds! 181 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:39,022 Fine. But we got to style the crap out of this place. 182 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,314 Like with this chair. 183 00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:42,942 I got here early and installed it myself. 184 00:06:42,943 --> 00:06:44,903 Sophomore year, we got to step up our game. 185 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,533 Bela, are you okay? 186 00:06:50,534 --> 00:06:52,326 I'm fine, I'll fix that later. 187 00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:54,704 I will be making all of our furniture decisions this year. 188 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,374 Understood. 189 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,083 Have either of you heard from Whitney? 190 00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:01,044 I know she isn't talking to me, but it's weird that she didn't 191 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,379 text the group thread once the entire summer. 192 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:04,756 There's a new thread without you. 193 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,632 - What? - And Leighton and I went 194 00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:07,884 to visit Whitney in D.C. and had dinner 195 00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:09,552 - with Kamala Harris. - What?! 196 00:07:09,553 --> 00:07:12,138 I wasn't going to tell her that part. 197 00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:13,598 Look, you need to fix this. 198 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,683 It's giving me group chat anxiety. 199 00:07:15,684 --> 00:07:18,061 Plus Bela keeps sending her jokes in both threads, 200 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,896 and it is hard enough to pretend that I like them once. 201 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,440 Well, I tried to fix things all summer. 202 00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:24,150 I texted, I called, 203 00:07:24,151 --> 00:07:25,902 I even sent her a really moving video 204 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,154 of me playing the ukulele, but she never responded. 205 00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:30,198 So I figured she just needed time to get over it. 206 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,949 Or maybe you gave her so much space and time 207 00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:33,910 that she realized her life was fine without you. 208 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,536 At least that's what she told Kamala. 209 00:07:35,537 --> 00:07:38,039 She talked to Kamala about me? 210 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,207 Well, mostly Doug. 211 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,917 Doug was there? 212 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,835 ♪ You make me feel like ♪ 213 00:07:42,836 --> 00:07:45,713 ♪ Lilies in springtime ♪ 214 00:07:45,714 --> 00:07:47,256 ♪ Fly me to the moon... ♪ 215 00:07:47,257 --> 00:07:50,301 Is it me, or did a bunch of guys at this school have 216 00:07:50,302 --> 00:07:52,220 a major glow-up this summer? 217 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:54,180 I mean, look at Skinny Greg. 218 00:07:54,181 --> 00:07:55,765 Now he's Thick Greg. 219 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,435 Look at all that titty meat he put on. 220 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,436 Yo, I think I'm gonna fuck Thick Skinny Greg. 221 00:08:00,437 --> 00:08:01,854 I, too, have an announcement. 222 00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:03,773 After a summer full of soul searching, 223 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,441 I've decided I'm gonna take a break from comedy. 224 00:08:05,442 --> 00:08:06,984 - Aw. - Oh. - Wait, 225 00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:08,655 didn't those girls kick you out of their group? 226 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,863 I mean, you're just... 227 00:08:10,864 --> 00:08:12,865 making it sound like it was your choice. 228 00:08:12,866 --> 00:08:15,827 While that is technically true, I have simultaneously decided 229 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,537 that I will be transforming myself. 230 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,122 I hated who I was last year. 231 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:21,708 I was selfish, I was lazy, 232 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:24,043 and I led every situation with sexuality. 233 00:08:24,044 --> 00:08:24,961 Like even now. 234 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:27,171 Why is my shirt buttoned so low? 235 00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,048 I'm proud of you, Bela. It's hard to look in the mirror, 236 00:08:29,049 --> 00:08:30,925 realize you're annoying, and want to change. 237 00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:33,302 Yeah, a break from comedy is good, you know. 238 00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:35,054 I can't believe I know which comedy theater 239 00:08:35,055 --> 00:08:37,306 every cast member from SNL got their start at. 240 00:08:37,307 --> 00:08:39,394 I mean, I'm popular, I shouldn't know that. 241 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,811 - Hello, my former fresh-thems. - Oh. 242 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,188 I'm so proud to see you so happy and... 243 00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:45,815 Ugh! 244 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:48,693 - Frude, are you okay? - I am not. 245 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,320 I just found out I contracted tropical pneumonia 246 00:08:51,321 --> 00:08:52,697 on my summer volunteer trip. 247 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,657 So I am actually returning to Sweden. 248 00:08:54,658 --> 00:08:56,659 I'm looking for someone who'd be willing 249 00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:57,994 to be a FAF for my new fresh-them. 250 00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,704 It is such an important job. 251 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,998 Who will comfort them when they are homesick? 252 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,751 Or spray Narcan in their tiny, young nostrils? 253 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,169 - Oh. - Ooh. 254 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:09,339 I'll do it. I'll be a FAF. 255 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,049 Y-You're being serious? 256 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,508 Yeah, I think I'd be great at it. 257 00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:14,010 I made a ton of mistakes last year. 258 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,511 Maybe the best person to guide these kids 259 00:09:15,512 --> 00:09:16,888 is someone who really messed up a lot. 260 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,057 Traditionally, that is not the criteria. 261 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,017 I want to help people avoid the mistakes I made. 262 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,644 Please, Frude. I really think I can do this. 263 00:09:23,645 --> 00:09:25,355 Also, I was a camp counselor one summer, 264 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,564 and I almost never lost a kid. 265 00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,024 Okay, then. 266 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:29,484 I'll send over all the necessary materials 267 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,027 you need for... 268 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,779 - Ugh. - Oh, my God, okay, Frude? 269 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,322 We love you, walk away from our food right now. 270 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,573 Right now. 271 00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,200 Well, I'm off. 272 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,035 I'm going to buy an apology gift for Whitney. 273 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:42,914 I'm thinking a small, tasteful crystal raccoon figurine. 274 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,374 You're getting her a crappy trinket 275 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,250 for fucking her boyfriend? 276 00:09:46,251 --> 00:09:48,503 Well, first off, Canaan wasn't her boyfriend anymore, 277 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,338 and we actually haven't had sex. 278 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,006 You haven't even fucked him yet? 279 00:09:52,007 --> 00:09:55,218 It's been all summer. Why is this betrayal so chaste? 280 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,886 Well, Canaan was in New York for his internship, 281 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,514 and I was back home working at Groomingdales. 282 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:01,974 We did try to have a naughty Zoom session one night, 283 00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:03,976 but my computer is busted and I couldn't figure out 284 00:10:03,977 --> 00:10:05,978 how to turn off the pirate hat filter. 285 00:10:05,979 --> 00:10:08,106 Okay, just come up with a better gift for Whitney. 286 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,899 Okay, we all need you to fix this. 287 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,403 Oh! What if, instead of getting something for her, 288 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,281 I made something for her? 289 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,741 Okay, that's a no. I'll think of something. 290 00:10:18,742 --> 00:10:21,578 I'll text you ideas. I don't trust your taste. 291 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,748 How are you kicking the ball so hard? 292 00:10:25,749 --> 00:10:27,417 Did you start taking steroids? 293 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,168 Nod once for yes 294 00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:31,963 and twice if you'll give me some to help grow my booty muscles. 295 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,216 No, I'm just picturing Kimberly's dumb face as I kick. 296 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:38,013 Interesting. I actually think her face is quite pretty. 297 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,930 I knew that would fuel you. 298 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:43,099 Stay angry, we'll ride this all the way to nationals. 299 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,892 Scrimmage. 300 00:10:44,893 --> 00:10:48,187 Returning starters in blue, first-years in yellow. 301 00:10:48,188 --> 00:10:49,856 Ready to put these girls in their place? 302 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:52,108 You know it. But it might be mostly on you. 303 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,320 I haven't exercised since June. 304 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,863 ♪ Na-na-na-na-na ♪ 305 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,282 ♪ Don't stop, let's drop ♪ 306 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,617 ♪ Na-na-na-na-na, don't stop ♪ 307 00:11:01,618 --> 00:11:04,078 ♪ Give me some, give me some, give me some, girl ♪ 308 00:11:04,079 --> 00:11:06,622 ♪ Don't stop ♪ 309 00:11:06,623 --> 00:11:09,959 ♪ Don't let your body stop, let your body go ♪ 310 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,045 ♪ Don't let your body stop ♪ 311 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,963 ♪ Give me some, give me some, na-na-na-na-na ♪ 312 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,966 ♪ Don't stop, let's drop ♪ 313 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,218 ♪ Na-na-na-na-na, don't stop ♪ 314 00:11:19,219 --> 00:11:21,804 ♪ Give me some, give me some, give me some, girl... ♪ 315 00:11:21,805 --> 00:11:23,639 Yo, that new girl is good. 316 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,433 What position is she? 317 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,935 She lined up in center. 318 00:11:27,936 --> 00:11:29,645 Whit, you might be in for a fight. 319 00:11:29,646 --> 00:11:31,856 ♪ On the beat of the drum, give me some ♪ 320 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,734 ♪ On the beat of the drum ♪ 321 00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,652 ♪ Give me some, don't stop ♪ 322 00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:39,906 ♪ On the beat of the drum, give me some. ♪ 323 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,783 - Hello? - Oh, hey, Leighton. 324 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,744 Professor Tocchini, where is everybody? 325 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,412 Isn't this supposed to be Algebraic 326 00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,081 and Differential Topology? 327 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,749 It was, but you were the only person 328 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,167 that passed the placement exams, 329 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:53,419 so the school is canceling the course. 330 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:56,464 Wait, so I'm being punished for being the only one good at math 331 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,465 at this cheap-ass school? 332 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:58,466 Yes. 333 00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,051 Well, this is fucked! 334 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,804 I-I was psyched to learn about sequences of fibrations 335 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,263 - and fiber bundles. - The good news is 336 00:12:04,264 --> 00:12:07,016 that you could fill this opening in your schedule 337 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,727 by taking one of the other classes that I'm teaching. 338 00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,312 I mean, have you ever thought about 339 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:14,359 the role math plays in The Hobbit, huh? 340 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,275 Oh, hey, who-who you calling? 341 00:12:16,276 --> 00:12:17,527 Our family lawyer. 342 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,946 My dad and grandpa dodged two different wars 343 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,280 to be able to attend Essex. 344 00:12:21,281 --> 00:12:22,949 So they will not be happy about this. 345 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,826 Just wait-wait a second. C-Can you stop? 346 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,868 If you could... Just stop, stop. 347 00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:27,203 Sorry. Sorry. 348 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,163 The only other thing you could do 349 00:12:29,164 --> 00:12:31,833 is you could take this class at a nearby school. 350 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,376 Essex is part of a consortium, 351 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,253 so if you don't mind a little travel, 352 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:38,840 you, you could take a much more advanced math class 353 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,552 at the UVM grad school. 354 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,511 - How much is a little travel? - 30 minutes. 355 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:46,055 60. S-Sometimes 90. 356 00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:47,223 But it's very scenic. 357 00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,517 ♪ All I want is you ♪ 358 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,186 Fine. 359 00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,403 ♪ All I want is you. ♪ 360 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,991 Damn! Rain shower. Okay. 361 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,826 Oh. 362 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,039 Okay. Spa music. 363 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,836 Bulgari. Oh, this shit is coming with me. 364 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,756 Hi there. 365 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,090 Hi. 366 00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:23,051 Sorry, uh, you surprised me. 367 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,886 Sorry. I've trained myself to have a really light tread 368 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,472 so I can find out if the other girls are talking about me. 369 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,266 I'm Blair. So what do you think of Kappa so far? 370 00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,769 You know, I'm really gonna miss the guy in our dorm 371 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,021 who got so drunk, he thought our door was a urinal. 372 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,315 But other than that, I would say this is okay. 373 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,525 Oh, my God, that's so good to hear. 374 00:13:39,526 --> 00:13:40,860 Look, I've been tasked 375 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,403 to speak with you about something, though. 376 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:44,489 It was me. I took all the soaps and shampoos. 377 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,615 They're just so fancy. 378 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,075 No, you just-- You didn't attend 379 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,618 the Bagels and Bonding event this morning, 380 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,412 so I have to give you this. 381 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,956 {\an8}- Oh, a bill for $80? - Yeah. 382 00:13:53,957 --> 00:13:56,084 - No, I was at-- I was at soccer. - Yes. 383 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,211 You know what? We love how much of a badass girlboss 384 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,171 you are on the field, but... 385 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,465 you know, we also really require that you kick in with us, too. 386 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,175 Or you can give us a 40-hour advance notice 387 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,053 if you can't attend something. Okay, sis? 388 00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,554 Okay, I'll see you at the Chai n' Chat. 389 00:14:08,555 --> 00:14:09,847 I'm so excited. 390 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,434 I heard it's gonna be awesome. 391 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,899 Whitney, there's someone here for you. 392 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,526 Oh. Hey. 393 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,154 Hey. 394 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,655 Can I hug you? I'd love to hug you. 395 00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,989 No, thanks. 396 00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:29,158 Look... 397 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,244 I know you've been ignoring my texts, 398 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,745 so I came here to say I'm sorry. 399 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,122 I really miss you. 400 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,331 I thought about you all summer. 401 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,083 Not a day went by at Groomingdales 402 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,584 when I didn't see you in the faces 403 00:14:38,585 --> 00:14:40,169 of those little cats and dogs. 404 00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,838 Is there a point to this? 405 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,007 I wanted to apologize in person. 406 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,551 And give you this. 407 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,094 It's a Caboodle. 408 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,762 You complimented mine last year, 409 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,265 so I thought you could use it to organize your makeup, 410 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,017 since that really stressed you out. 411 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,393 Look, if you wanted to be friends, 412 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,853 you shouldn't have made out with my ex 413 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,187 and then lied to my face about it. 414 00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,523 You did what? 415 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,316 Oh, this is kind of a private conversation. 416 00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:04,485 We're in a sorority. There's no such thing. 417 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:07,280 Yeah. I would never speak ill of women. 418 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,906 - No. - But if you did that to your friend, 419 00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:10,241 you're a cock-gobbling skank. 420 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,701 I'm not a cock-gobbler. 421 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,120 I can't believe you have the audacity to come here 422 00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:16,956 with your lame-ass jeggings and weird recycled shoes 423 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:18,708 and make this weak-ass apology. 424 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,001 They're not weird. 425 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,127 They donate a pair to a poor person 426 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,378 for every pair that you buy. 427 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,713 Oh, great, so now a homeless lady 428 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:24,714 has a pair of ugly shoes, too. 429 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,798 Get out! 430 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:28,134 Bye. Bye. Bye. 431 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,138 You're no longer welcome in our foyer. 432 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,222 - What even is a Caboodle? - Poor Whitney. 433 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,518 I'll just leave the Caboodle on the porch. 434 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,231 Hey, I need to talk to you about something. 435 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,816 Okay, we've been over this. 436 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,401 All right, having sex dreams about Kristen Stewart 437 00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,111 is not cheating. 438 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,030 Honestly, it would be weird if you didn't have them. 439 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,490 Uh, it's not about that. 440 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:53,620 What I wanted to tell you is that, um... 441 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,289 I'm leaving Essex. 442 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,373 To work for Carrie Watanabe. 443 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:02,001 - The mayor of Boston? - Yes, and she's amazing. 444 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,420 And I would be working directly for her. 445 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:07,840 That's why I've been on so many weird phone calls. 446 00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:09,302 Found out this morning. 447 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,844 So you're gonna be a college dropout? 448 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,221 Are you kidding? 449 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,390 It's not like I'm leaving to sell meth. 450 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,226 This is the kind of job I would kill to get after I graduate. 451 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,602 Yeah, so wait until you graduate like everyone normal. 452 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,270 This is crazy. 453 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:24,524 This opportunity might not be there after I graduate. 454 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,526 Why stick around and take on more debt? 455 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:29,322 Not all of us pay for college with cash. 456 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,739 Okay. All right. 457 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,324 Well, you don't have to be such a bitch about it. 458 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,118 - I didn't mean it like that. - No, no. 459 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,370 No, uh, I mean, you've clearly made up your mind, 460 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,082 so I will just take my privileged ass and I will leave. 461 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,709 Enjoy Boston. 462 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,460 You call it a major city? 463 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,088 They don't even have a subway that runs overnight there. 464 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:51,134 Hello, first-years! 465 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,468 We are now introducing your FAF leader, 466 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:56,889 Bela "The Boss Bitch" Malhotra! 467 00:16:56,890 --> 00:17:00,059 Yes. Yes, guys. 468 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,104 Ah, yes! 469 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,565 Thanks for that wonderful intro, announcer. 470 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,899 Just kidding. 471 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,861 That was me, yelling from outside, in the hall. 472 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,239 Okay. 473 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,035 My name is Bela Malhotra, and I will be your FAF. 474 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,287 I am here to help guide you 475 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,664 through your first year of college, with sensitivity, 476 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:25,335 an envelope-pushing sense of humor, and wisdom. 477 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:28,214 And no cap, I am wise as hell. 478 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,922 First question. 479 00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,341 We love to see it. What's up? 480 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,343 Why are you wearing a tie? 481 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,386 Oh, um, it's sort of my style. 482 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,388 Subtly turning traditional menswear on its head. 483 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,807 I'm told it's cool in the queer community. 484 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,059 Well, I'm queer and I don't know 485 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,685 anyone that would dress like that. 486 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,187 Ah, well, 487 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,730 that's so great that you're queer. 488 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,690 But I'm pretty certain this is fashionable. 489 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,192 I would know, I'm from New Jersey. 490 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,234 Where are you from? 491 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,861 Mayfair. London. 492 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,529 Oh, damn. 493 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,823 - Is it true you have a 1.8 GPA? - How do you know that? 494 00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:58,368 You tweeted it. I looked you up before the meeting. 495 00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:00,661 You posted a screenshot with the caption: 496 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,872 "1.8, more like one point great." 497 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,332 Okay, first off, that post 498 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,542 - got a lot of likes. - 13? 499 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,378 Yeah, that's a lot for a non-verified. 500 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,046 Sorry I'm not Ryan Reynolds or whatever. 501 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,798 But, more importantly, 502 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,218 my low GPA is exactly why I'm excited to be your FAF. 503 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,053 I didn't have a great first year at college, 504 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,847 but I can help you avoid my mistakes. 505 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,724 Anybody else? Anyone? 506 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,226 No? 507 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,811 Yes, same girl. 508 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,229 Taylor. 509 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,231 May I say something to the group? 510 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,732 Um, s-sure. 511 00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,651 I'm sorry if this sounds 512 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,194 so Gen Z of me 513 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,531 or whatever, it's just I can't help 514 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,742 but think that this Essex tradition of "didactic 515 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,911 older person talking about the good ol' days" 516 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,871 is a little bit antiquated. 517 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,040 Okay, the portion of the FAF meeting where you question 518 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,126 the legitimacy of the FAF is over. 519 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,253 Everybody, take out your phones. 520 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:51,921 It's time to delete ChatGPT. 521 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,756 First Hillary Clinton and now me. 522 00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:56,092 People love to attack a woman in power. 523 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,428 I'm not so sure it's misogyny 524 00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:00,513 so much as someone just correctly pointing out 525 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,598 you might not be a fit for the job, 526 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:04,308 just based on everything about you. 527 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,102 You're right, it was probably jealousy. 528 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,437 That's not what I said. 529 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,938 Are you sure you even want to do it? 530 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,314 I mean, Frude didn't seem like 531 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:11,691 he liked it and now he might be dying. 532 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:14,610 Yeah, maybe I did jump at this too quickly. 533 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,487 I just got excited about the idea of doing something good 534 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,281 - with all the mistakes I've made. - I get that. 535 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,532 But you'll find another way 536 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,908 to help people, I'm sure of it. 537 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,118 - Yeah. - True. 538 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,995 Maybe I could start a podcast. 539 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,496 Like a funny, cautionary one 540 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,290 about all the dumb moves people make in college. 541 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,916 Episode one could be about a girl 542 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,793 who sleeps with her married soccer coach. 543 00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,004 Why am I first? Use your own damn mistakes. 544 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,465 Just tell Frude that you don't want to be a FAF. 545 00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,133 And we will convince you 546 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,219 out of doing your podcast at a later date. 547 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,474 Ooh, declining a call from Alicia. 548 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,476 Asserting your alpha dom femme top energy? 549 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:49,020 Making sure she knows you're mother? 550 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,147 Bela, stop using gay slang. 551 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,815 But I'm getting so good at it. 552 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:54,609 No, I'm ignoring Alicia 553 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,527 because she told me she's dropping out. 554 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,279 - What? - Are you serious? 555 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,489 Then why are you ignoring her? Call her back. 556 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:00,740 Convince her to stay. 557 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,492 No way, Alicia is stubborn as hell. 558 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,701 If I tell her not to do something, 559 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,370 she's gonna want to do it more. 560 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,996 But if I ice her out, she's gonna get 561 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,164 in her head and she'll realize 562 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,499 it's a crazy idea to leave. 563 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,376 Sometimes the most persuasive argument 564 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,710 is saying nothing at all. 565 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,005 Does that work? 566 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,424 Wow, I guess it does. 567 00:20:18,425 --> 00:20:20,551 All right, well, I got to go, but 568 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,512 I will see you both at the Y2K party tonight. 569 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,180 Do you have your hot '90s looks picked out? 570 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,348 Hell yeah, I do. 571 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,849 I'll be serving a whale tail 572 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:29,268 with one of Leighton's finest thongs. 573 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:30,603 You most certainly will not. Whit, 574 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,938 you do know Kimberly's coming later? 575 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,022 Like, probably with Canaan? 576 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,816 Yeah, I don't care. 577 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,404 I just hope the Kappas don't cut her head off. 578 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,821 You were joking about me 579 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,614 not being able to borrow a thong, right? 580 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,117 Couldn't have been more serious. 581 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,703 ♪ Talk to me ♪ 582 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:51,042 ♪ D'you hear me calling out to you ♪ 583 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,210 ♪ Talk to me... ♪ 584 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:56,921 Excuse me, miss? 585 00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,844 You're the prettiest girl I have ever seen on this bus. 586 00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:03,344 Banana chip? 587 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:04,721 Thank you, no. 588 00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,472 Oh, okay. 589 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,349 Aw, these are so good. 590 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,934 It's how I get my potassium. 591 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,227 Your loss. 592 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,273 Where you headed? 593 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,732 The University of Vermont. 594 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,567 Wow, that is far. 595 00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:19,402 You know, I get off at West Bolton. 596 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,404 I work for a horse breeder there. 597 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,156 Lot of manual labor. 598 00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:24,741 A lot more than people would think. 599 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:26,451 I got to pull a baby horse... 600 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,244 out of a horse. 601 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,662 Sorry, I've been told 602 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,748 I can be quite the chatterbox. 603 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:34,876 How often do you think you're gonna be taking this bus? 604 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,419 Three times a week. 605 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,712 - That is a lot. - Yeah, but I'm 606 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,505 really excited for these classes. 607 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,591 And I don't have another option. 608 00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,259 Well, don't you worry. 609 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,969 You and I, we're gonna be road dogs. 610 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:48,348 I'll show you the ins and outs of the east Vermont route. 611 00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:50,308 Ooh, that rhymed. 612 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,977 But a little word to the wise, don't paint your nails. 613 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,396 The bumpy roads can make it a little messy. 614 00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:57,106 Yeah, thank you. 615 00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,816 I'm, um, I'm gonna take a nap. 616 00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:01,444 Oh, you know what, that is a good idea. 617 00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:04,322 You got a long ride ahead of you. 618 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:07,617 ♪ Nous sommes, nous sommes, nous sommes... ♪ 619 00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:09,202 Kimberly. 620 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:11,079 - Canaan. - Hey. 621 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,956 I was wondering when you'd get here. 622 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,751 Oh, I was sorting through the damaged baked goods, 623 00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,754 and I saved you the least crushed scone. 624 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,632 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually missed 625 00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,717 - these dry-ass Sips scones. - Me, too. 626 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:27,345 Oh, I got you this shirt from New York. 627 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,140 "I pretzel New York"? 628 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,477 That's hilarious. 629 00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:37,397 - Is it really that funny? - I really think it is. 630 00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:38,773 Okay. 631 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:40,149 Oh, it's so good to see you 632 00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:41,150 in person. 633 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:43,069 - I agree. - Hey! 634 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:44,946 No public displays of affection. 635 00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,531 I'm kidding. 636 00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,116 I already set up a cot in the back room 637 00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,325 if y'all want to smush. 638 00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,910 Um, thanks, but we're good. 639 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:52,370 - You sure? - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 640 00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:53,663 I'm gonna go get changed for work, 641 00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:54,832 - and I'll be right back. - Okay. 642 00:22:56,126 --> 00:22:58,876 You know, I wasn't sure 643 00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:01,254 if I could picture you and Canaan as a couple. 644 00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:04,007 But you guys look so cute together. 645 00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:07,885 Oh, I love an interracial romance... in real life. 646 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:10,471 On TV, I want people to stick to their own races. 647 00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:12,390 I don't know why, but I do. 648 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,017 Mm. Well, thanks. 649 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:15,184 I really like Canaan. 650 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:17,061 I'm so happy to see him again. 651 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:19,397 I can't believe you guys haven't had sex yet. 652 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:20,940 I mean, it's like you're on a dating show 653 00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:22,859 with the world's most boring premise. 654 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,861 I think we're gonna have some alone time tonight. 655 00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:26,738 And I used one of my mom's Groupons 656 00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:29,198 - to get everything waxed down there. - Nice. 657 00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:31,117 My crotch is always cold now. I don't recommend it. 658 00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:33,202 Mm, have you spoken to Whitney yet? 659 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:34,871 I tried. She's still so mad. 660 00:23:34,872 --> 00:23:36,914 But she'll come around if I give her time, I know it. 661 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,834 Well, you followed your heart, and that's great. 662 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,712 And now you have Canaan, but your friendship with Whitney? 663 00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:44,505 - That's gone, girl. - No, I disagree. 664 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:45,882 She and I were such good friends. 665 00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,383 You don't just throw that away. 666 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:49,594 Nuh-uh. That friendship is dead. 667 00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:51,929 This is not my opinion. 668 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,348 This is like Ten Commandments shit. 669 00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:54,599 You stole her man. 670 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,393 You guys are done. 671 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,980 Moses said that. 672 00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:01,733 Hey. 673 00:24:02,734 --> 00:24:03,900 ♪ We're leaving the planet ♪ 674 00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:05,860 ♪ And you can't come ♪ 675 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,654 ♪ Uh-huh, I'm through ♪ 676 00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:13,117 ♪ With all these hyper mega bummer boys like you ♪ 677 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,577 ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 678 00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,788 - Okay. It's sophomore year. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 679 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,164 It's time for us to be able 680 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,666 to take shots without making a face. 681 00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:21,751 - Agreed. We can do this. Cheers. - Cheers. 682 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:23,670 - On three. One, two... - Okay. 683 00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:25,672 - Oh, God. - You didn't even drink it yet. 684 00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:27,006 No, but the smell got in my nose. 685 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,174 Oh, grow up. 686 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,884 It doesn't smell-- oh, God. 687 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:32,220 Are you guys ready? 688 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,764 ♪ A super graphic ultra-modern girl like me ♪ 689 00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:36,766 ♪ We're hot... ♪ 690 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:39,936 Oh, my God, Leighton, you look so beautiful I could cry. 691 00:24:39,937 --> 00:24:41,521 Well, I wasn't going for beautiful. 692 00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:42,980 I was going for shockingly hot. 693 00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:45,566 You're hot. You're hotter than a news anchor. 694 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,694 Once Alicia sees me in this, there's no way 695 00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:50,279 - she'll be able to leave school. - Wait, Alicia's leaving the school? 696 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,615 - Didn't we talk about this? - We talked about it 697 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:55,201 - at Whitney's lunch, not Kimberly's lunch. - Wait, you guys had 698 00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:56,911 lunch with Whitney after you had lunch with me? 699 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:59,789 God, this sucks. I hate repeating stories. 700 00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,290 You seem to really enjoy retelling that one 701 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,084 about locking eyes with Zendaya in an elevator. 702 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,961 Yeah, because that was so memorable. 703 00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:07,380 - I mean, we were both going to the lobby. - Mm. 704 00:25:07,381 --> 00:25:09,799 - Can we leave? - Yeah. 705 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,845 ♪ Graphic ultra-modern, ooh, you got me la-la-la-ing... ♪ 706 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,763 I brought chasers to pregame. 707 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:17,225 ♪ Girl like me. ♪ 708 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,309 Guys? 709 00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,021 Ah! 710 00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:25,815 Oh, hi, Whit, we're just getting ready to head out. 711 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:28,818 Good Lord. Are you gonna blend soon? 712 00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:32,321 After the setting powder bakes, silly. 713 00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:33,990 Okay, well... 714 00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:36,993 uh, before I go out, I usually like to put on music 715 00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:39,746 and dance and drink and stuff. Anyone want to join me? 716 00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:41,581 That literally sounds so fun, but no. 717 00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:43,916 This is gonna take us another 45 minutes. 718 00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,835 Oh, cool. 719 00:25:45,836 --> 00:25:48,338 I guess I'll just go hang out until you guys are ready. 720 00:25:48,339 --> 00:25:49,714 You're not going in that, are you? 721 00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,424 Yeah, why, what's... 722 00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:52,926 what's wrong with it? 723 00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:56,429 Hey, Whit, didn't you read the email? 724 00:25:56,430 --> 00:25:58,056 We're all wearing baby blue tonight. 725 00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:00,475 It's super important for the group photo. 726 00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:04,145 We want people to see a sea of uninterrupted baby blue. 727 00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:06,356 And with that, there'd be an interruption. 728 00:26:06,357 --> 00:26:08,775 I'd hate to have to invoice you on Venmo again. 729 00:26:08,776 --> 00:26:10,693 I'd get a fine 730 00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:12,653 for not wearing the same color to a party? 731 00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:15,615 Unfortunately, yeah, and plus a retouching fee for the photo. 732 00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:17,533 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 733 00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:19,161 I guess I'll go change. 734 00:26:21,122 --> 00:26:22,872 ♪ La, da, da, dee, da, da, da, da ♪ 735 00:26:22,873 --> 00:26:24,874 ♪ La, da, da, dee ♪ 736 00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:27,210 ♪ Da, da, da, da ♪ 737 00:26:27,211 --> 00:26:30,088 ♪ La, da, da, dee, da, la, da, da, da, dee, da ♪ 738 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:34,550 ♪ La, da, dee, da, da, da, da, da... ♪ 739 00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:35,885 This is amazing. 740 00:26:35,886 --> 00:26:38,346 Oh, my God, I love this. 741 00:26:38,347 --> 00:26:40,014 Yeah, the late '90s were lit. 742 00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:42,725 Do you think the DJ has the theme song to Frasier? 743 00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:43,851 Drinks. Now. 744 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:45,520 Yeah, I'll lead the way 745 00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:47,397 because I'm wearing Heelys. 746 00:26:47,398 --> 00:26:49,565 - Bela, no! - No! 747 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:51,903 Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. 748 00:26:53,947 --> 00:26:55,738 Will one of you kindly push me towards the bar? 749 00:26:55,739 --> 00:26:57,615 - Yeah. - Yes. 750 00:26:57,616 --> 00:27:02,247 ♪ Hey... ♪ 751 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:05,248 - What's up? - Hey. 752 00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:07,250 You guys look incredible. Especially you. 753 00:27:07,251 --> 00:27:09,461 ♪ We flyin' over the world, surveyin' the globe... ♪ 754 00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:12,422 ♪ Man, you already know ♪ 755 00:27:12,423 --> 00:27:14,340 ♪ Hey... ♪ 756 00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:16,551 - Well, this sucks. - Yeah. It's official, 757 00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:18,761 I do not like beef between women. 758 00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:21,931 Unless those women are rich New York or Atlanta housewives. 759 00:27:21,932 --> 00:27:23,516 - I'm gonna go check on Whit? - Yeah. 760 00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:24,936 Be back. 761 00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:28,813 - You okay? - Yeah. I'm good. 762 00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:30,773 - Let's get you a drink. - Yeah. 763 00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:32,567 ♪ After love, after love ♪ 764 00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:34,527 ♪ After love, after love... ♪ 765 00:27:34,528 --> 00:27:36,029 Man, I am so glad 766 00:27:36,030 --> 00:27:37,572 I'm not hanging around with those girls anymore. 767 00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,365 They are tragically basic. 768 00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:42,660 I mean, yeah, maybe, but some of them have depth, too. 769 00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:44,454 Whitney, get over here. 770 00:27:44,455 --> 00:27:46,497 I need you in front of me in this pic to hide my weird knee. 771 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,957 Duty calls. 772 00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:49,542 Alicia's here. 773 00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:51,669 What? 774 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:54,547 - Oh, should I stay? - What? Obviously no. 775 00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:56,674 Wait, um, how do I look? 776 00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:58,134 Mm, you look great. Step to your left 777 00:27:58,135 --> 00:27:59,802 and you'll be backlit as she approaches. 778 00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:01,512 God, I've taught you so much. Thank you. 779 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:04,932 ♪ You're gonna be the lonely one, oh ♪ 780 00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:08,772 ♪ Do you believe in life after love? ♪ 781 00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:12,607 - Hey. - "Hey"? 782 00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:14,233 That's what I get? We need to talk. 783 00:28:14,234 --> 00:28:16,819 I called you three times. I even FaceTimed you, 784 00:28:16,820 --> 00:28:18,404 and you know how dumb I think FaceTime is. 785 00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,656 I am about to make one of the biggest decisions 786 00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:23,326 of my life, and I-I wanted to talk it through with you, 787 00:28:23,327 --> 00:28:24,660 but you weren't there. 788 00:28:24,661 --> 00:28:26,371 I'm sorry, I just... 789 00:28:26,372 --> 00:28:28,873 - I don't want you to leave. - Leigh, I have to. 790 00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:30,083 And even though it really scares me, 791 00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:31,959 I'm, like, excited about it. 792 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:36,089 And I just wish that you were excited for me, too. 793 00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:38,675 How am I supposed to be excited when you're leaving? 794 00:28:38,676 --> 00:28:40,134 Because it's what's best for me. 795 00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:41,678 Look, I didn't come to college to learn 796 00:28:41,679 --> 00:28:43,721 which beer gives me heartburn 797 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,139 and then be in debt for years. 798 00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,474 I came here to figure out what I want 799 00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:47,725 to do with my life, and I did. 800 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:49,020 Isn't that a good thing? 801 00:28:50,313 --> 00:28:51,562 But then what... 802 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,606 what happens to us? Like... 803 00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:55,400 do we just break up? 804 00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:58,822 No, I don't want that, but I would understand if you did. 805 00:29:00,824 --> 00:29:02,409 I love you, Leighton... 806 00:29:03,535 --> 00:29:04,951 ...and I'm moving to Boston. 807 00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:06,411 But the only way that this relationship 808 00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:07,829 is going to end 809 00:29:07,830 --> 00:29:10,333 is if you end it. 810 00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:13,209 I won't be doing that. 811 00:29:13,210 --> 00:29:14,462 Really? 812 00:29:16,256 --> 00:29:19,509 How about we just take it one day at a time? 813 00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:23,052 Okay. I mean, that sounds perfect. 814 00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:26,139 And I love you, too. 815 00:29:26,140 --> 00:29:28,224 Aw. 816 00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:30,184 Oh, my God, didn't I tell you to leave? 817 00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:31,645 I didn't. 818 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:36,983 ♪ Ooh, happy creature... ♪ 819 00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:38,987 Want to go find a place to hang out? 820 00:29:39,779 --> 00:29:41,529 Yeah, let's go hang out. 821 00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:42,782 Cool. 822 00:29:44,242 --> 00:29:45,992 I'm excited we finally get to do this. 823 00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:47,161 Yeah, me, too. 824 00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:53,251 So, how's your mom? 825 00:29:54,044 --> 00:29:55,918 My mom? Why would you bring up my mom right now? 826 00:29:55,919 --> 00:29:59,299 - I don't know, that was weird, forget I said that. - Yeah. 827 00:30:05,347 --> 00:30:07,722 Oh, tomorrow at Sips, we have to replace 828 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:09,851 the toilet wands in the bathroom. 829 00:30:10,769 --> 00:30:12,060 Okay, what's happening? 830 00:30:12,061 --> 00:30:14,062 I don't know. Does this feel weird? 831 00:30:14,063 --> 00:30:16,147 Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. I'm trying 832 00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,982 not to get in my head about it. 833 00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:20,193 Right, it's just, I know you as Canaan, 834 00:30:20,194 --> 00:30:22,528 my work friend who I really like and admire. 835 00:30:22,529 --> 00:30:24,030 Like, I think you're amazing, 836 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:25,948 and your body is clearly a body that anyone 837 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,617 would want to have sex with... 838 00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:30,953 ...but, I don't know, something just feels off. 839 00:30:30,954 --> 00:30:33,122 Yeah, I don't know, I feel a little awkward. 840 00:30:33,123 --> 00:30:34,957 When I touched your boob just now, 841 00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:37,126 I really wanted to go like, "Honk, honk," 842 00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:40,004 and I'm not that guy, I-I don't make sound effects. 843 00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:41,881 Yeah, and most importantly, 844 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,759 I just, I can't do this to Whitney. 845 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:45,927 I miss her. 846 00:30:45,928 --> 00:30:47,679 I really, really miss her. 847 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,889 When I think about college, the first thing I think about 848 00:30:49,890 --> 00:30:51,559 is her being my friend. 849 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,646 I respect that. 850 00:30:57,649 --> 00:30:59,607 I actually think sound effects are pretty cool. 851 00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:00,983 Yes, I know this about you. 852 00:31:00,984 --> 00:31:02,318 Like, when you took your shirt off, 853 00:31:02,319 --> 00:31:04,696 I really wanted to go, "Awooga, awooga." 854 00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:07,450 I bet you did. 855 00:31:08,868 --> 00:31:10,410 ♪ Don't leave me now ♪ 856 00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:12,161 ♪ Baby, I know I messed it up... ♪ 857 00:31:12,162 --> 00:31:14,998 - We have to talk. - Do we? 858 00:31:14,999 --> 00:31:16,666 - Whitney, please. - Uh-uh. No, no, no, no. 859 00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:18,501 - Get out of here. Out. - I'm trying to talk 860 00:31:18,502 --> 00:31:20,920 to my friend, you can't shoo me away like a cat. 861 00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:22,714 Let me handle this. 862 00:31:22,715 --> 00:31:24,215 Slut says "what"? 863 00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,843 - I'm not gonna say "what." - Ah, you just did. 864 00:31:26,844 --> 00:31:29,095 - That doesn't count. - Oh, so you're a stupid slut? - Okay, that's enough. 865 00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:31,764 You are not slut-shaming my friend, you mean bitch. 866 00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:34,058 Okay, okay, let's just calm down. 867 00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:35,518 And you two, you are going in this closet 868 00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:37,353 and you are not coming out until you make up. 869 00:31:37,354 --> 00:31:38,730 - Get in. - No, I'm not going in 870 00:31:38,731 --> 00:31:40,440 - a frat basement closet. - Get in. 871 00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:41,983 - Get in. - Is that a bull saddle? 872 00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:44,945 - Hey. - Start talking. It's locked. 873 00:31:52,829 --> 00:31:54,039 What? 874 00:31:54,956 --> 00:31:56,330 Don't try to hold my hand. 875 00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:58,708 I'm not. I think that's a mannequin. 876 00:31:58,709 --> 00:32:00,251 The fuck? 877 00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:02,253 Whitney, I'm so sorry. 878 00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:04,672 - And I ended things with Canaan. - It's not about Canaan. 879 00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:06,883 It's about how you were one of my closest friends, 880 00:32:06,884 --> 00:32:08,217 and not only did you swoop in on a guy 881 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:09,552 who you knew broke my heart 882 00:32:09,553 --> 00:32:11,596 but then you lied to my face about it. 883 00:32:11,597 --> 00:32:14,098 That really hurt me. I didn't deserve that. 884 00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:15,558 You're right. I messed up. 885 00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:17,477 I wasn't thinking about your feelings, 886 00:32:17,478 --> 00:32:19,479 and that was wrong, but if you could forgive me, 887 00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:23,232 I'll never hurt you like that again. 888 00:32:23,233 --> 00:32:26,696 Whitney, you mean so much to me, and I really miss you. 889 00:32:28,031 --> 00:32:29,447 I miss you, too. 890 00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:31,407 And if it matters, we never hooked up. 891 00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,201 I only touched him below the waist once, 892 00:32:33,202 --> 00:32:35,078 and that was accidentally, when I was dusting 893 00:32:35,079 --> 00:32:36,788 the pastry case at work and I grazed it. 894 00:32:36,789 --> 00:32:39,290 - Not a detail I needed. - I just wanted to be as up-front 895 00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:41,002 with you as possible. 896 00:32:41,878 --> 00:32:44,089 Can we please be good now? 897 00:32:45,173 --> 00:32:46,675 Yeah, we can be good. 898 00:32:47,676 --> 00:32:49,592 Also, I really want to move back in with you guys. 899 00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:51,928 The Kappas are a lot and, like, weirdly putting me into debt? 900 00:32:51,929 --> 00:32:54,639 I would love that. And we don't have a bed for you 901 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,141 or any space for one, but we can figure it out. 902 00:32:57,142 --> 00:32:58,601 - Okay. - Okay. 903 00:32:58,602 --> 00:33:00,895 ♪ All the world is gonna be... ♪ 904 00:33:00,896 --> 00:33:02,647 - Aw. - So good. 905 00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:03,898 Before we leave, 906 00:33:03,899 --> 00:33:05,566 did you get it all out? 907 00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:06,943 Anything you need to say, 908 00:33:06,944 --> 00:33:08,611 you say it now so we can all move on. 909 00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:11,447 - I think we did. - Just let us out of this closet 910 00:33:11,448 --> 00:33:13,116 'cause it's filled with too much weird stuff. 911 00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:15,618 Good. Good. 912 00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:17,120 Aw. 913 00:33:17,121 --> 00:33:18,955 Bela, that was really impressive. 914 00:33:18,956 --> 00:33:21,167 Maybe you'll be a good FAF after all. 915 00:33:31,511 --> 00:33:33,011 Okay, everybody, 916 00:33:33,012 --> 00:33:34,221 it's almost Y2K! 917 00:33:35,849 --> 00:33:37,682 In ten, nine... 918 00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:39,684 Eight, seven, 919 00:33:39,685 --> 00:33:41,477 six, five, 920 00:33:41,478 --> 00:33:43,354 four, three, 921 00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:45,648 two, one! 922 00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:47,817 Wait, what? What happened? 923 00:33:47,818 --> 00:33:49,653 Did it really Y2K? 924 00:33:57,787 --> 00:33:59,497 - Drinks? - Yes! Now! 925 00:34:14,971 --> 00:34:16,721 - Leighton. - These bus trips 926 00:34:16,722 --> 00:34:19,849 to the University of Vermont are not going to work for me. 927 00:34:19,850 --> 00:34:22,185 I can't do it for the next week, let alone the next three years 928 00:34:22,186 --> 00:34:23,353 of my life. 929 00:34:23,354 --> 00:34:25,688 Hmm. Sorry to hear that. 930 00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:27,690 That's it? Dude, this is 931 00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:30,151 supposed to be one of the best schools in the country. 932 00:34:30,152 --> 00:34:32,070 I get it. Uh, Essex is a great school, 933 00:34:32,071 --> 00:34:33,571 but it's not where you go for math. 934 00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,073 If that's what you're looking for, 935 00:34:35,074 --> 00:34:36,240 I could reach out 936 00:34:36,241 --> 00:34:37,992 to a colleague at MIT 937 00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,704 about their transfer cutoff. 938 00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:43,875 Like, like, "MIT" MIT? 939 00:34:45,043 --> 00:34:48,630 Isn't... isn't that in Boston? 940 00:35:03,228 --> 00:35:05,228 {\an8}♪ It's been so long ♪ 941 00:35:05,229 --> 00:35:07,980 {\an8}♪ So long, so long ♪ 942 00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:11,192 {\an8}♪ Everything is over ♪ 943 00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:13,361 {\an8}♪ It's been so long ♪ 944 00:35:13,362 --> 00:35:16,322 {\an8}♪ So long, so long ♪ 945 00:35:16,323 --> 00:35:19,367 {\an8}♪ Don't stop dancing, move on ♪ 946 00:35:19,368 --> 00:35:21,369 {\an8}♪ It's been so long ♪ 947 00:35:21,370 --> 00:35:24,288 {\an8}♪ So long, so long ♪ 948 00:35:24,289 --> 00:35:28,918 {\an8}♪ Everything is over ♪ 949 00:35:28,919 --> 00:35:31,087 {\an8}♪ It's been so long ♪ 950 00:35:31,088 --> 00:35:32,755 {\an8}♪ So long ♪ 951 00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:37,262 {\an8}♪ Don't stop dancing, move on ♪ 952 00:35:43,727 --> 00:35:45,476 {\an8}♪ It's been so long ♪ 953 00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:48,771 {\an8}♪ So long, so long ♪ 954 00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:52,358 {\an8}♪ Don't stop dancing, don't stop dancing ♪ 955 00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:54,152 {\an8}♪ It's been so long ♪ 956 00:35:54,153 --> 00:35:57,113 {\an8}♪ So long, so long ♪ 957 00:35:57,114 --> 00:36:00,116 {\an8}♪ Don't stop dancing, move on ♪ 958 00:36:00,117 --> 00:36:02,035 {\an8}♪ It's been so long ♪ 959 00:36:02,036 --> 00:36:05,290 {\an8}♪ So long, so long. ♪ 960 00:36:08,460 --> 00:36:15,675 Go to bed.