1 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:12,219 约翰艾赛克斯,我是来道别的 2 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:15,139 我原本是要来这里改革喜剧 3 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,225 成为第一个 黑人、原住民和有色人种 4 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,392 又性积极的幽默大师 5 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:21,228 可是我却都在翘课与上床 6 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:25,524 我知道听起来很酷 但我保证完全不是这样 7 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,901 我其实很恶劣 8 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,070 我疏远自己加入的每一个团体 9 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:32,865 把野心看得比友谊还重 10 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,034 我浪费所有机会 11 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,952 所以我要离开了 12 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,371 我会想念你跟我的室友 13 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:42,333 当然还有无穷无尽的肌肉男 14 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,043 他们是如此地豪放 15 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:48,881 但我得专心处理 有史以来最难的功课,改造自己 16 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,467 而且天啊,你的脖子好粗 17 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,969 你身高七英尺三英寸? 18 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,096 要是我们同时都在这里,强尼 19 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,473 我一定会巴着你不放 20 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,850 不好意思,小姐,你是贝拉摩赫查? 21 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,769 你刚才提出转学申请? 22 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:02,853 对,是我没错 23 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:06,065 是这样的 我大一的生活不符合我的期待 24 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,777 帮几个人打手枪 取得精英喜剧杂志的机会后,我... 25 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,820 不用讲这么详细,但你不能转学 26 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:15,616 我在这里工作30年 从没看过你这么低的平均成绩 27 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,951 有个昏迷的女孩成绩还比你优秀 28 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,329 对,不过那显然有政治考量 29 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,290 我想你只能秋天回到这里 30 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,249 设法提高成绩 31 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,584 还有,那不是约翰艾赛克斯 32 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:28,003 那是雅各梅尔叶慈,他不是个好东西 33 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:31,633 吃掉家人后,他在俄勒冈小径冻死 34 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,009 真可怕 35 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:37,305 我对男人的品味真的有待加强 36 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,309 片名:欲望女大生 37 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:43,478 (欢迎来到绿山之州佛蒙特) 38 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,943 夏天超好玩的 39 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,655 真想赶快跟大家分享 我们欧洲自助旅行之旅的经历 40 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,739 我也是 41 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:59,618 不过提醒你一下 我们的旅程称不上是自助旅行 42 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,953 你雇用了司机 43 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,372 我们都住高级酒店 44 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:07,001 是没错,但我带了可爱的小背包 45 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,377 天啊,我好爱佛蒙特 46 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,339 这里的树叶、山脉跟枫糖浆 47 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:15,175 要不是他们太信奉社会主义 我一定会搬来这里 48 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,177 这里很适合女同志 49 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:20,139 对,喜欢付遗产税的女同志 50 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,141 爸,跟你相处真的很棒 51 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,684 可是你不用陪我们搬宿舍 52 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:26,770 亲爱的,我才不要错过 跟我最爱的姐妹淘公路旅行的机会 53 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,314 好吗?而且我有点忧郁 54 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,608 你妈说我得出门走走 55 00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,778 可以先靠边停吗? 56 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,572 好,没问题,当然可以 57 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,823 没事吧?你... 58 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,992 没事,只是接个电话 59 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,077 抱歉 60 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,290 等我一下 61 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,419 如果你觉得是其他女孩来电 你就错了 62 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,962 我一开始也这么想 63 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,673 但我不希望你想太多 64 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:03,640 你是芬可家第一个念到大二的人 65 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,225 你办到了,亲爱的 66 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:08,479 你比因为把自拍老二照 传到其他人手机 67 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,939 而被亚利桑那州立大学开除的堂亲朗 撑得更久 68 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,191 我觉得很自豪,妈 69 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,525 惠妮跟你联络了吗? 70 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,570 还没,她还在为了迦南的事躲我 71 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:20,032 亲爱的 为了男孩争风吃醋在友谊的历程中 72 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,617 不过是小事 73 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,869 - 一切都不会有事的 - 谢了,妈 74 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,373 我很期待见见迦南 75 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,708 - 爸,这是什么打扮? - 你喜欢吗? 76 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:33,128 唐纳格洛佛也穿类似的服装 出席英国电影学院奖 77 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,798 发出了虹光 78 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,341 对,不太透气 79 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,509 我满身大汗 80 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,219 - 糟透了 - 好吧 81 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,971 但为了你的新男友盛装打扮是值得的 82 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,474 他不是我的男友 我们还没给彼此那种名分 83 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,769 抱歉,伴侣 或任何...年轻人时兴的说法 84 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,105 - 应该是叫炮友? - 原来是炮友 85 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,773 - 才不是 - 好 86 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,899 我们该离开了 87 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,693 - 我们爱你 - 好,我爱你们,我爱你 88 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,027 等等...不是要共进午餐? 89 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,822 我想让迦南看到我的上衣 制造好印象 90 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,573 我会告诉他的,我爱你们 91 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,742 爱你 92 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:08,330 “拿出你们的母女档水滴落下舞” 93 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:12,751 (拿出你们的母女档水滴落下舞) 94 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,795 非常完美,我等不及要上传了 95 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:18,215 克里斯马修斯 一定不敢再说我全身僵硬 96 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,800 我很高兴 97 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,512 有机会协助你完成任务,妈 98 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,598 我好爱你 99 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:30,060 我知道你的大二生活一定会很精彩 100 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,812 她来了 101 00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,773 天啊,住手,我认识她 102 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,484 - 你认识这个攻击者? - 天啊 103 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,489 她不是攻击者,妈 这是我姐妹会的好友爱许丽 104 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,781 很抱歉,爱许丽 105 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,617 从1月6日开始 我们对朝我直奔而来的金红发女郎 106 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,703 采取零容忍政策 107 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,912 天啊,没关系 108 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,789 我的脊椎承受了主要的冲击 109 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:55,169 我来帮你拿 我的新姐妹,不是“妹子” 110 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,545 那种说法是绝对不行的 111 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,631 我就直说吧 112 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,175 我觉得你住在这里很奇怪 113 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,551 一点也不奇怪,妈 114 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,386 姐妹会宿舍就像高级酒店 115 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,929 - 而且离足球场很近 - 对,但... 116 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,222 好吗?今年会很愉快的 117 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,350 我只是没想到你没有要和金柏丽同住 118 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,476 我喜欢她 119 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,562 她会把你参加的派对 全球定位系统坐标传给我 120 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,398 金柏丽跟我... 121 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,150 怎么了,亲爱的? 122 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,902 没事,我只是需要改变 123 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,028 要陪我走进去吗? 124 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,155 那当然 125 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:38,045 我绝对不会物化年轻男性 126 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,673 但我会猛盯着他到他经过为止 127 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,259 - 妈,够了,这样很怪 - 好吧 128 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:55,187 还好你们来了,真的很惨 129 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,313 我们的房间是三人房 130 00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,731 你好,贝拉 131 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,941 我夏天也过得很愉快 132 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,275 感谢关心 133 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,819 这样很怪吧?这是公共空间 134 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,613 而我们得一起睡在那间小卧房里 135 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,948 我才不要 136 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,157 这样不是很怪吗? 137 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,410 两位,就只是一个房间摆了三张床 138 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,995 对,可是不对称 139 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,872 我头好晕,我得坐下来 140 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:17,418 我才不要睡上下舖 这样好像过夜营队的无名小卒 141 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,711 我要睡单人床 142 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,212 你们两个太小题大作了 143 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,256 不只是那样,这实在太奇怪了 144 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,340 惠妮呢? 145 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,342 她是我们之中的运动辣妹 146 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,803 我们的性感程度少了四分之一 147 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,138 我好想念那个小妞 148 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:32,266 我认为这个新房间超棒 149 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,560 顶楼的景色美多了 150 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,270 我们会看到很多鸟儿 151 00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,354 好吧 152 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,399 不过我们得好好布置一下 例如用这张椅子 153 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,818 我提早到,这是我自己安装的 154 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,071 大二了,我们得加把劲 155 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,868 贝拉,你没事吧? 156 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,828 我没事,我晚点再修理 157 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,080 今年的家具都由我来选 158 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,541 明白了 159 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,209 惠妮有跟你们联络吗? 160 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,461 我知道她不想理我 161 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,631 可是她整个夏天 都没发信息到群里,也太奇怪了 162 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,924 - 有个排除了你的新群 - 什么? 163 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,676 蕾登跟我曾去华盛顿特区找惠妮 164 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,927 还跟卡玛拉哈里斯共进晚餐 165 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,554 什么? 166 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,348 我本来打算保留不说的 167 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,558 你得设法解决这个问题 168 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,060 这让我群聊时很焦虑 169 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,562 而且贝拉还把笑话传到两个群 170 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,272 假装我喜欢她的笑话一次就够难了 171 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,858 我整个夏天都在设法解决问题 172 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,693 我发了短信,打了电话 173 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,321 我甚至发了我弹尤克里里的动人视频 174 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,614 但她都没回应 175 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,658 所以我以为给她时间,她就会想通 176 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,326 也有可能你给她太多空间与时间 177 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,328 结果她发现少了你,她也过得很好 178 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,622 至少她是这么跟卡玛拉说的 179 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,207 她跟卡玛拉提到我? 180 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,291 大多是道格说的 181 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,294 道格在场? 182 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,219 是我的错觉,还是本校有一群男生 183 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,429 今年夏天都变帅气了? 184 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,390 看看瘦子格雷格 185 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,141 现在都变壮汉格雷格了 186 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,644 看看他现在浑身肌肉 187 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,729 我要跟壮瘦格雷格上床 188 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,980 我也有事要宣布 189 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,108 整个夏天自我反省后... 190 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,193 我决定要暂时放下喜剧表演 191 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,655 等等,那些女孩 不是把你从团体开除了? 192 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,908 你只不过是说得 像是你自愿离开的一样 193 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,410 严格来说的确是这样 194 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,830 我同时决定要改头换面 195 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,331 我讨厌自己去年的模样 196 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,542 我自私又懒惰 197 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,337 凡事都以性欲为主,连现在也是 198 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,089 我的上衣领口怎么开这么低? 199 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,507 我以你为荣,贝拉 200 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,301 照镜子时很难发现 自己有多烦人,并且想要改变 201 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,220 对,暂时离开喜剧表演很好 202 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,680 我居然会知道 203 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,808 “周六夜现场”每个卡司成员 是从哪间喜剧戏院出身的 204 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,560 我是风云人物,不该知道这种事 205 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,104 各位前新鲜人好 206 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,941 我感到很骄傲,各位这么开心又... 207 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,860 佛德,你还好吗? 208 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,986 不好 209 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:53,032 我刚发现我暑假去当志愿者时 染上热带肺炎 210 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,950 所以我其实要回瑞典了 211 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,662 我在找愿意当新大一生 师友会成员的人 212 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,039 这是重责大任 213 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,416 他们想家时,这个人会安慰他们 214 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,295 或是为他们年轻的小鼻腔喷纳洛酮 215 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,715 我愿意当师友会成员 216 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,550 你是认真的? 217 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,135 对,我应该会做得很好 218 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,678 我去年犯了不少错 219 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,139 或许最能引导这群年轻人的 就是把人生搞砸的人 220 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,475 那不是传统上遴选的标准 221 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,518 我想帮助人们避免步上我的后尘 222 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,937 拜托,佛德,我真的觉得我办得到 223 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,731 我有年夏天也当过营队辅导员 224 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,274 我几乎都能接住每一个学员 225 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:31,445 好,我会把需要的必备资料发给你... 226 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,531 天啊,佛德,我们喜欢你 但是请马上远离我们的食物 227 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,450 立刻离开 228 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,659 我要先离开 229 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,495 我要去买求和的礼物给惠妮 230 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:43,499 我想买个有品味的小浣熊水晶雕像 231 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,001 你要买个烂装饰品 来为了跟她男友上床而道歉? 232 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,754 首先,迦南已经不是她男友了 233 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,631 我们也还没发生性行为 234 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,509 你还没跟他上床?都过了一整个暑假 235 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,761 这次偷吃为什么这么纯洁? 236 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,346 迦南在纽约实习 237 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,932 而我回到家乡的格鲁明戴尔工作 238 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,351 我们有天晚上的确想视频爱爱 239 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,103 但我的电脑坏了 240 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,355 我不知道要怎么关闭海盗帽滤镜 241 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,774 那就买更好的礼物给惠妮 242 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,275 我们都需要你解决这个问题 243 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,612 干脆不要买东西送她 244 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,407 我自己做好了? 245 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:17,950 好,那可不行 246 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,076 我总会想到该怎么做的 247 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,996 我再发点子给你,我不信任你的品味 248 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,083 你怎么有办法这么用力踢球? 249 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,002 你开始服用类固醇了? 250 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,129 有就点头一次 251 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,339 如果可以给我一点药来练臀肌 就点头两次 252 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,634 不是的,我只是踢球时 在想象金柏丽那张蠢脸 253 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,054 真有意思,我其实觉得她长得很漂亮 254 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,141 我就知道你会因此更有动力 继续生气 255 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,643 我们会借此一路踢进全国赛 256 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,897 争球,回来的先发球员穿蓝色服装 大一生穿黄色服装 257 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,190 准备给这些女孩点颜色瞧瞧了? 258 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,443 你知道的,但大多都得看你 259 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,446 我六月之后就没有在运动了 260 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,768 那个新来的女孩很厉害 她打哪个位置? 261 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,103 她是中锋 262 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,148 等等,这可能会是一场硬仗 263 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,240 (艾赛克斯学院 西元1792年创立) 264 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,076 - 你好? - 你好,蕾登 265 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,911 图奇尼教授 266 00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,037 怎么都没人? 267 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,457 这堂课不是代数与微分拓扑学吗? 268 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,585 本来是,可是只有你通过分级测验 269 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,879 所以学校取消了这堂课 270 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,882 等等,所以我是这间廉价的学校 唯一的数学高手 271 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,966 却因此受罚? 272 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,176 对 273 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,427 可是这太离谱了 274 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:04,139 我本来很期待要了解 纤维化数列跟光纤束的 275 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,685 好消息是你这个空档 276 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,479 可以上我教的另一门课 277 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:15,359 你想过数学在“霍比特人”里 扮演什么角色吗? 278 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,777 你要打给谁? 279 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:17,903 我们家的律师 280 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:21,615 我爸跟爷爷避开了两场战争 才有办法念艾赛克斯 281 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,283 所以他们一定会很不高兴 282 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,160 等一下,可以先挂断吗? 283 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,579 麻烦先挂断,别打了... 284 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,748 你另外唯一的选择就是 285 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,126 去附近的学校上这门课 286 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:35,921 艾赛克斯和他校结盟 所以如果你不介意通勤 287 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:39,174 你可以去佛蒙特大学的研究院 288 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,719 上更进阶的课 289 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,721 - 要通勤多久? - 30分钟 290 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,055 60分钟 291 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,557 有时要90分钟 292 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,642 可是风景很美 293 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,312 好吧 294 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,325 不错耶,有花洒头,好 295 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,039 好,有水疗音乐 296 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,250 宝格丽的? 297 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:14,794 我应该带回去用 298 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,841 - 你好 - 你好 299 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,801 抱歉,你吓到我 300 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,304 抱歉,我训练自己放轻脚步 301 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,931 这样才知道其他女孩是否在说我坏话 302 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,266 我叫布莱儿 303 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,684 你目前觉得姐妹会如何? 304 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,022 我真的会想念 我们宿舍那个老是醉醺醺的家伙 305 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,397 他都在我们门口小便 306 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,733 但除此之外,我觉得这里还不错 307 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,486 天啊,很高兴你这么说 308 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,821 不过她们请我来提醒你一件事 309 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,531 是我干的 310 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,241 我搜刮所有肥皂跟洗发水 真的很高级 311 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,911 不是的,你没参加 今天早上的贝果联谊时间 312 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,580 所以我得给你这个 313 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,291 - 80美元的帐单? - 对 314 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,418 - 不是的,我是去练足球 - 对 315 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,672 我们很喜欢你在场上呼风唤雨的模样 316 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,883 但你也要跟我们培养感情 317 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,427 如果你不能参加聚会 318 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,762 可以提早48小时通知我们 319 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,056 好吗,妹子?好,奶茶聊天时光见 320 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,140 我好期待 321 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,393 大家一定会很棒的 322 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,525 惠妮,有人来找你 323 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:21,735 是你 324 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,196 是我 325 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,864 可以抱你吗?我想抱你 326 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,283 不用了 327 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:31,453 我知道你都不理会我的信息 328 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,996 所以我是来向你道歉的 329 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,540 我真的很想你 330 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,708 我整个暑假都在想你 331 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,418 我在格鲁明戴尔工作时 332 00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,546 每天都会在那些小猫小狗脸上 看到你的身影 333 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,715 你到底想说什么? 334 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,302 我想亲自道歉,并且给你这个东西 335 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:48,679 这是化妆箱 336 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,889 你去年称赞过我的箱子 337 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,641 我想你可以借此整理你的化妆品 338 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,309 你每次都觉得压力很大 339 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,936 如果你想跟我当朋友 340 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,565 就不该跟我前任亲热 还当着我的面说谎 341 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:00,983 你做了什么? 342 00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,693 这是私人谈话 343 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,903 这里是姐妹会,没有这种事 344 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,071 - 对 - 说真的 345 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,365 - 我绝不会说女人坏话 - 对 346 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,659 但如果你这么对朋友 你就是专门勾引男人的荡妇 347 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,202 我才不会勾引男人 348 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:15,789 你居然有胆穿这件烂牛仔紧身裤 349 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:19,418 跟奇怪的回收鞋跑来这里 提出超没诚意的道歉说词 350 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,878 哪里奇怪? 351 00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,880 每买一双,他们就捐一双给穷人 352 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:25,507 好极了,所以有个游民 也穿了一双丑鞋 353 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,051 - 快滚 - 再见 354 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,469 - 再见 - 再见 355 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,138 不准再踏进我们门厅一步 356 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:35,602 那我把化妆箱放在门廊 357 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,649 我有事得跟你谈谈 358 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,568 好,我们已经谈过了 359 00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:47,404 做春梦梦到克里斯汀斯图尔特 不算是出轨 360 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,323 老实说,不梦到她才奇怪 361 00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:50,949 跟那件事无关 362 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,536 我想说的是... 363 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,373 我要离开艾赛克斯了 364 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,416 去为渡边凯莉工作 365 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,751 波士顿市长? 366 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,294 对,她超棒的 367 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,506 而且她是我的直属上司 368 00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,300 所以我最近接了许多奇怪的电话 369 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,386 我今天早上得知消息 370 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,555 你要从大学辍学,有没有搞错? 371 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,766 我又不是要辍学去贩毒 372 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,560 这就是我毕业后会争破头 也想做的工作 373 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,562 好,那就跟每个正常人一样 等毕业再去做 374 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,647 这太离谱了 375 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,900 我毕业后可能就没机会了 376 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,902 何必留在这里欠更多债务? 377 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,364 不是每个人都付得起学费 378 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,199 好吧 379 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,575 但你也不用挖苦我 380 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,327 - 我不是这个意思 - 不用说了... 381 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,788 你显然已经决定好了 382 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,375 所以养尊处优的我就先告退了 383 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,837 祝你在波士顿很开心 那里算大城市? 384 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,381 他们甚至超过午夜就没地铁了 385 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:53,512 各位大一生好 现在来介绍师友会会长 386 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,474 女当家贝拉摩赫查 387 00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:00,353 没错,对,各位 388 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,397 没错 389 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:06,608 感谢你费心介绍我,司仪 390 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:09,112 开玩笑的,在大堂外大喊的人是我 391 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:17,327 好,我叫贝拉摩赫查 我会是各位的师友会会长 392 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:22,124 我的职责是以体贴的心 极端的幽默感及智慧 393 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:25,669 协助引导你们度过大一生活 394 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,881 我说真的,我很有智慧 395 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:32,301 很高兴看到有人率先提问,怎么了? 396 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,719 你为什么打领带? 397 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,765 这是我微妙地 改造传统男性服装的风格 398 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,433 听说这样在同志社群很酷 399 00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:40,768 我是同志 400 00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,687 但我认识的人都不会打扮成那样 401 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:46,274 真是太好了,你是同志 402 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,150 但我很确定这种打扮很流行 403 00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,569 我一定会知道 我来自新泽西州,你来自哪里? 404 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,112 伦敦梅费尔 405 00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,447 了不起 406 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,324 你的平均成绩真的是1.8吗? 407 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,618 - 你怎么知道? - 你发在推特上 408 00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:58,744 我在聚会前查过你的资料 409 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:03,123 你发一张截图,还写了 “1.8,应该叫天才吧” 410 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,668 好,首先,那则推文有很多人按赞 411 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:06,919 13个 412 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,754 对,对未经认证用户来说算多了 413 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,090 很抱歉我不是超级巨星之类的 414 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:15,511 但更重要的是,我平均成绩很低 所以很期待当各位的师友会会长 415 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,137 我大一时过得不太愉快 416 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,349 但我可以协助你们避免步上我的后尘 417 00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,894 还有人要提问吗?有吗?没有? 418 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,020 请说,同一个女孩 419 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,397 我叫泰勒 420 00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:28,524 我可以跟大家说句话吗? 421 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,942 当然可以 422 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:34,863 很抱歉我的口吻听起来有点过于新潮 423 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,907 只是...我忍不住 424 00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,243 觉得这种艾赛克斯 425 00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:42,705 派爱说教的学长姐 来谈论美好过去的传统 426 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,332 有点太过时了 427 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,874 好,在师友会聚会 428 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,419 质疑本会合理性的部分结束了 429 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,421 各位请拿出手机 430 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,548 该删除ChatGPT了 431 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,842 先是希拉里克林顿,现在换成我 432 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,386 人们很喜欢攻击掌权的女性 433 00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:00,889 应该不是厌女情结 只是有人根据你的资料 434 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:05,269 正确指出你可能不适合做这份工作 435 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,646 - 你说得对,她可能是妒忌我 - 我不是这个意思 436 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,189 你确定你想扮演这个角色? 437 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,858 佛德之前好像不太喜欢 438 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,776 他现在可能快不行了 439 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,903 或许我的确太躁进了 440 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,905 只是我犯了那么多错 441 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,199 - 我很期待可以做点好事 - 我懂 442 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,118 但你会找到其他助人的方式 我很确定 443 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,995 - 对 - 没错 444 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,580 或许我可以开始录播客 445 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,583 用幽默的方式讨论大学生做的蠢事 446 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:31,211 第一集可以提到有个女孩 跟已婚的足球教练上床 447 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,505 为什么要先提到我?用你自己犯的错 448 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,799 只要告诉佛德你不想加入师友会 449 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,512 我们以后再说服你打消录播客的主意 450 00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,348 (艾丽西亚) 451 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,850 拒接艾丽西亚的电话 452 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,019 宣示你优势男性般 又过于柔美的支配地位? 453 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,271 确保她知道你说了算? 454 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,399 贝拉,不要再用同志俚语了 455 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,025 可是我用得越来越巧妙了 456 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:56,904 不是...我不想理艾丽西亚 因为她说她要辍学 457 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,572 - 什么? - 真的吗? 458 00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:01,158 那你为何不理她? 快回电,说服她留下来 459 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,951 不可能的,艾丽西亚很顽固 460 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,621 要是我劝她不要这么做 她一定会唱反调 461 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,956 可是如果我不理她 她一定会开始动摇 462 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,833 她就会发现离开这里实在是太荒谬了 463 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,878 有时最有说服力的论点 就是什么都不说 464 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,130 那样有用吗? 465 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,343 我猜有吧 466 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,552 好,我得走了 467 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,888 不过今晚千禧年派对见 468 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,598 90年代性感装扮挑好了? 469 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,683 那当然 470 00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:29,561 我会露出蕾登最高级的丁字裤 471 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,646 你休想 472 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:34,066 小惠,你知道金柏丽晚点会来? 可能会跟迦南一起来 473 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,275 我不在乎 474 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,404 我只希望姐妹会的人 不会想砍了她的头 475 00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,990 你刚刚在笑我借不到丁字裤,对吧? 476 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,369 我是认真的 477 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,457 (西佛蒙特深谷线) 478 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,381 打扰了,小姐 479 00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,927 你是我在这班巴士上看过 最漂亮的女孩 480 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,637 要吃香蕉片吗? 481 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:04,888 谢谢,不用 482 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,307 好吧 483 00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:10,144 这超好吃的,是我摄取钾的来源 484 00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:11,478 这是你的损失 485 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,939 你要去哪里? 486 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,275 佛蒙特大学 487 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,901 天啊,好远 488 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,362 我要在西博尔顿下车 489 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,364 我在那里的育种马场工作 490 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,159 需要付出不少劳力 比人们想的还要多 491 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,537 我还有机会 从一匹马体内拉出一匹小马 492 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:32,000 抱歉,有人说过我话很多 493 00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,044 你会多常搭这班巴士? 494 00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:37,463 - 一周三次 - 好频繁 495 00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:39,715 对,但我很期待要去上这些课程 496 00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,967 我别无选择 497 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,844 别担心 498 00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:45,429 你跟我会变成好姐妹 499 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:49,224 我会帮助你详细了解东佛蒙特线 500 00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,851 还有押韵耶 501 00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:53,437 听我的建议,不要涂指甲油 502 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:56,482 路途颠簸,可能会弄坏指甲油的颜色 503 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:59,234 谢谢,我想睡一下 504 00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,737 好主意 505 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:04,866 你还要搭很久的车 506 00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:09,953 金柏丽 507 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,539 - 迦南 - 你好 508 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,416 我才正在想你什么时候会来 509 00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:17,127 我正在整理烤坏的烘焙产品 510 00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:20,130 我帮你留下比较没有被压坏的司康 511 00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,840 真不敢相信我会这么说 512 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,967 但我很想念啜饮馆干巴巴的司康 513 00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:25,095 我也是 514 00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,972 我在纽约帮你买了这件上衣 515 00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:30,392 “我的纽约普泽饼情怀”? 516 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,770 真好笑 517 00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:35,979 真的有那么好笑吗? 518 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,690 我真的觉得很好笑 519 00:22:37,691 --> 00:22:39,149 好吧 520 00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:42,194 - 很高兴见到你本人 - 我也这么觉得 521 00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:46,615 不可以公开谈情说爱,开玩笑的 522 00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:50,452 如果你们想要亲热 我在后面房间放了行军床 523 00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:51,537 谢了,我们不用 524 00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:52,663 - 你确定? - 对 525 00:22:52,664 --> 00:22:54,206 我要去换制服 526 00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,917 - 我马上回来 - 好,对 527 00:22:57,502 --> 00:23:01,338 我原本无法想象你跟迦南在一起 528 00:23:01,339 --> 00:23:04,383 可是你们好登对 529 00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:08,679 我喜欢真实的跨种族恋情 530 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,848 但我希望电视剧的角色不要乱跨 531 00:23:10,849 --> 00:23:12,683 不晓得为什么,但我真的这么觉得 532 00:23:12,684 --> 00:23:14,184 谢了 533 00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:16,895 我真的很喜欢迦南 很高兴能再见到他 534 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,440 你们居然还没上床 535 00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:23,235 你们好像在参加约会节目 却有世上最无趣的故事设置 536 00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,404 我想我们今晚有机会独处 537 00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:28,907 我用了我妈的团购券 把下面的毛除得一干二净 538 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,492 - 很好 - 我的跨下都冷冰冰的 539 00:23:30,493 --> 00:23:31,577 我不建议 540 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,412 你跟惠妮谈过了吗? 541 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:35,247 我试过了,她还在生气 542 00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:37,333 但只要给她时间 她会想通的,我很清楚 543 00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:40,252 你顺从自己的心,这样很好 544 00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:41,754 你现在拥有迦南了 545 00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:44,006 可是你跟惠妮当不成朋友了,女孩 546 00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:46,175 我不这么认为,她跟我是很好的朋友 547 00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:47,676 友谊不是说断就断的 548 00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:49,928 不对,你们当不成朋友了 549 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,930 这不是我个人的意见 550 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,932 这就像十诫 551 00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,684 你抢了她的男友 552 00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:57,811 你们闹翻了 553 00:23:57,812 --> 00:23:59,064 这是摩西说的 554 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:02,442 换好了 555 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:17,748 好,我们已经大二了 556 00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:20,000 应该喝烈酒也不会脸色大变了 557 00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:22,127 - 我也这么觉得,没问题的,干杯 - 干杯 558 00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:23,212 - 好 - 数到三,一、二... 559 00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:24,672 天啊 560 00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,006 你都还没喝 561 00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,174 对,可是气味很呛 562 00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:30,844 成熟一点,哪有什么气味,天啊 563 00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:32,180 你们准备好了吗? 564 00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:40,312 天啊,蕾登,你美到我快哭出来了 565 00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:43,399 我不是要打扮得很美 而是要非常性感 566 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,859 你很性感,比新闻主播还性感 567 00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:47,653 对,等艾丽西亚看到我的打扮 568 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,279 她一定无法辍学 569 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,781 等等,艾丽西亚要辍学? 570 00:24:50,782 --> 00:24:52,157 不是谈过这件事了? 571 00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:54,535 是跟惠妮吃午餐时谈的 跟金柏丽吃午餐时没有 572 00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:58,038 等等,你们和我吃完午餐 就去跟惠妮吃午餐? 573 00:24:58,039 --> 00:25:00,124 天啊,糟透了 我讨厌同样的事要讲两遍 574 00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:01,291 你似乎很喜欢重述 575 00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:03,502 你跟辛蒂亚在电梯眼神交汇的经历 576 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:05,087 对,因为那很难忘 577 00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:06,840 我们两个当时都要去大厅 578 00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:10,427 - 可以出发了吗? - 可以 579 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,099 我带了饮料来赛前派对 580 00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:20,520 各位? 581 00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:26,150 你好,我们正要准备出门 582 00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:29,195 天啊,你们待会就会把妆涂匀了吗? 583 00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:32,573 要先等出油部位的蜜粉定妆,傻瓜 584 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:35,576 好,我出门前 585 00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:38,537 我通常喜欢播音乐、跳舞跟喝酒 586 00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:41,290 - 有人要一起来吗? - 听起来真的很有趣 587 00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:44,043 可是我们得再等45分钟 588 00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:45,961 好吧 589 00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:48,047 那么你们准备好之前,我就先去玩了 590 00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:50,049 你不会要穿这身服装去参加吧? 591 00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:52,092 是啊,怎么了?有什么... 592 00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:53,303 有什么不对吗? 593 00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:56,680 小惠,你没看邮件吗? 594 00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,474 我们今晚都要穿浅蓝色的衣服 595 00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,185 拍团体照时很重要 596 00:26:01,186 --> 00:26:04,563 我们想呈现出一整片连续的浅蓝色 597 00:26:04,564 --> 00:26:07,191 那件衣服的颜色会很突兀 598 00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:09,109 我很不想再开罚单给你 599 00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:13,197 因为没穿同色系服装去派对 我就会受罚? 600 00:26:13,198 --> 00:26:14,365 很遗憾的确是如此 601 00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:15,909 还有照片的重新调整费 602 00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:19,328 好,那我去换衣服 603 00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:21,539 - 好极了,爱你,宝贝 - 我们爱你 604 00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:31,841 (千禧年) 605 00:26:34,678 --> 00:26:37,012 这里真是太棒了 606 00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:38,972 天啊,我超爱的 607 00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:40,391 对,90年代晚期超棒 608 00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:43,060 DJ会不会 有“欢乐一家亲”的主题曲? 609 00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:44,186 快去喝酒吧 610 00:26:44,187 --> 00:26:47,606 我带路,因为我穿了暴走鞋 611 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,192 贝拉,不要 612 00:26:54,489 --> 00:26:56,657 你们可以把我推到吧台那里吗? 613 00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:57,909 可以 614 00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,165 - 你好吗? - 你好 615 00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:07,669 你们看起来真美,尤其是你 616 00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:16,802 - 好吧,这真是糟透了 - 没错 617 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,304 我确定了,我不喜欢女生之间的纷争 618 00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:22,307 除非是有钱的纽约或亚特兰大娇妻 619 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,978 - 要去看看小惠吗? - 好,我们马上回来 620 00:27:27,063 --> 00:27:29,148 - 你没事吧? - 对,我没事 621 00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:31,067 - 去喝杯酒吧 - 好 622 00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:38,532 天啊,我很高兴 我跟那些女孩没有来往了 623 00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:39,825 她们真的很平凡 624 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,910 对,或许吧 625 00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,454 但其中几个也很有深度 626 00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:44,830 惠妮,过来 627 00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:47,416 拍这张照片时 你得在前面遮住我奇怪的膝盖 628 00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:49,168 我得去尽我的义务了 629 00:27:49,169 --> 00:27:50,628 - 艾丽西亚来了 - 什么? 630 00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:54,798 - 我该留下来吗? - 显然不该 631 00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:56,967 等等,我看起来如何? 632 00:27:56,968 --> 00:27:58,218 你看起来美极了 633 00:27:58,219 --> 00:28:00,137 往左一点,等她接近,你就会背光 634 00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:02,015 天啊,我传授了你不少妙招,谢谢 635 00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:12,858 - 嘿 -“嘿”? 636 00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:14,651 就这样?我们得谈谈 637 00:28:14,652 --> 00:28:16,945 我打给你三次,甚至想跟你视频 638 00:28:16,946 --> 00:28:18,864 你也知道我觉得视频通话很蠢 639 00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:22,326 我即将做出 此生最重大的决定之一,而我... 640 00:28:22,327 --> 00:28:24,912 我想先跟你讨论,你却不在 641 00:28:24,913 --> 00:28:26,789 很抱歉,我只是... 642 00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:28,040 我不希望你离开 643 00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,208 小蕾,我别无选择 644 00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:32,878 即使我很害怕,我也很期待 645 00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:36,465 真希望你也能为我感到兴奋 646 00:28:36,466 --> 00:28:38,927 你要离开了,我要怎么为你兴奋? 647 00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:40,511 因为这对我最好 648 00:28:40,512 --> 00:28:44,098 我上大学并不是要弄清楚 喝哪种啤酒会胃食道逆流 649 00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:45,516 然后欠债好几年 650 00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:48,143 我是来弄清楚我想要的人生 我也办到了 651 00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:50,437 那样不好吗? 652 00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:51,940 可是我们... 653 00:28:52,065 --> 00:28:53,358 我们会如何? 654 00:28:54,609 --> 00:28:55,859 我们就这么分手? 655 00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,822 我不想要那样 但如果你要的话,我也能谅解 656 00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:02,534 我爱你,蕾登 657 00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:05,285 我要搬去波士顿了 658 00:29:05,286 --> 00:29:10,417 但你想分手的话,这段恋情才会结束 659 00:29:12,085 --> 00:29:13,377 我不会那么做的 660 00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,587 真的吗? 661 00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:19,634 且战且走好了 662 00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:22,929 好,听起来很完美 663 00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:26,266 我也爱你 664 00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:30,310 天啊,我不是叫你先走? 665 00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:31,896 我没走 666 00:29:37,944 --> 00:29:39,862 要不要找个地方独处? 667 00:29:39,863 --> 00:29:42,741 - 好,去独处吧 - 走吧 668 00:29:44,659 --> 00:29:48,288 - 我好兴奋,终于可以亲热了 - 我也是 669 00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:53,293 你妈还好吗? 670 00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:56,462 我妈?你为什么现在提起我妈? 671 00:29:56,463 --> 00:29:58,715 不晓得,那很怪,当我没说 672 00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:07,514 明天在啜饮馆 673 00:30:07,515 --> 00:30:09,809 厕所的马桶刷该换了 674 00:30:11,394 --> 00:30:13,062 - 好,怎么回事? - 我不知道 675 00:30:13,063 --> 00:30:14,396 - 感觉是不是很怪? - 对 676 00:30:14,397 --> 00:30:15,481 对,有一点 677 00:30:15,482 --> 00:30:18,525 我设法不要为此心烦 678 00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:20,569 只是...我认识的你是迦南 679 00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:23,113 我很喜欢与欣赏的好同事 680 00:30:23,114 --> 00:30:24,365 我觉得你超棒的 681 00:30:24,366 --> 00:30:28,369 而且你身材那么好 绝对会有人想跟你上床 682 00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:31,246 可是我不知道,我就是觉得怪怪的 683 00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:34,333 对,不晓得,我觉得有点尴尬 684 00:30:34,334 --> 00:30:37,503 我刚摸了你的胸部 我真的很想边捏边发喇叭声 685 00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:40,339 但我不是那种人,我不会配上音效 686 00:30:40,340 --> 00:30:45,386 对,最重要的是 我就是...我不能这么对惠妮 687 00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:48,180 我很想她,我真的很想她 688 00:30:48,181 --> 00:30:51,685 想到大学 我第一个就想到她这个朋友 689 00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:53,770 我尊重这一点 690 00:30:58,066 --> 00:31:00,192 我其实觉得配上音效还蛮酷的 691 00:31:00,193 --> 00:31:01,610 对,我很清楚你会喜欢 692 00:31:01,611 --> 00:31:05,864 你脱掉上衣时,我真的很想配上音效 693 00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:07,367 我想也是 694 00:31:13,456 --> 00:31:14,707 - 我们得谈谈 - 是吗? 695 00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:16,041 惠妮,别这样 696 00:31:16,042 --> 00:31:17,126 不行... 697 00:31:17,127 --> 00:31:18,460 快滚,出去 698 00:31:18,461 --> 00:31:21,213 我想跟我的朋友谈谈 你不能打发我走 699 00:31:21,214 --> 00:31:23,257 我来处理 700 00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,259 荡妇会说什么? 701 00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:26,385 我才不会说“什么” 702 00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:28,178 - 你说了 - 那不算数 703 00:31:28,179 --> 00:31:29,638 - 好,够了 - 你是个蠢荡妇 704 00:31:29,639 --> 00:31:32,266 休想对我的朋友 进行荡妇羞辱,恶毒女 705 00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:34,393 好了...大家冷静 706 00:31:34,394 --> 00:31:35,936 而你们两个快进入这个衣橱里 707 00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:37,730 和好了才能出来 708 00:31:37,731 --> 00:31:38,897 - 进去 - 不要 709 00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:40,607 - 我不要去兄弟会地下室衣橱 - 进去 710 00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:42,484 - 我不要...那是牛鞍? - 进去 711 00:31:42,485 --> 00:31:45,238 - 嘿 - 开始谈,上锁了 712 00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:54,289 怎么了? 713 00:31:55,248 --> 00:31:56,707 不要牵我的手 714 00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:58,959 我没有,那应该是假人吧 715 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,711 搞什么? 716 00:32:00,712 --> 00:32:02,504 惠妮,真的很抱歉 717 00:32:02,505 --> 00:32:04,048 我跟迦南分开了 718 00:32:04,049 --> 00:32:05,591 那跟迦南无关 719 00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:07,551 重点是你是我最好的朋友之一 720 00:32:07,552 --> 00:32:10,054 你不仅抢走你明知道害我心碎的男生 721 00:32:10,055 --> 00:32:12,348 后来又当着我的面说谎 722 00:32:12,349 --> 00:32:14,433 我真的很受伤,我不该受到这种对待 723 00:32:14,434 --> 00:32:15,976 你说得对,我搞砸了 724 00:32:15,977 --> 00:32:18,896 我不顾你的感受,那样是不对的 725 00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:22,359 但如果你可以原谅我 我绝对不会再这样伤害你 726 00:32:23,777 --> 00:32:26,821 惠妮,你对我很重要,我真的很想你 727 00:32:28,698 --> 00:32:29,865 我也很想你 728 00:32:29,866 --> 00:32:32,201 如果你很在意的话 我们完全没上过床 729 00:32:32,202 --> 00:32:34,870 我只碰过他腰部以下一次 还是不小心的 730 00:32:34,871 --> 00:32:37,289 我在为糕饼箱除尘时掠过 731 00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:38,666 不用讲这么详细 732 00:32:38,667 --> 00:32:40,960 我只是想尽量坦白跟你说 733 00:32:42,128 --> 00:32:44,047 我们可以和好了吗? 734 00:32:45,715 --> 00:32:46,800 我们可以和好了 735 00:32:48,134 --> 00:32:50,010 我也想搬回去跟你们一起住 736 00:32:50,011 --> 00:32:52,429 姐妹会令我难以招架 奇怪的是也让我负债累累 737 00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:54,515 我很希望你回来 738 00:32:54,516 --> 00:32:56,725 没有床或空间能容纳你 739 00:32:56,726 --> 00:32:58,227 - 不过我们可以想办法 - 好 740 00:32:58,228 --> 00:32:59,979 好 741 00:33:02,148 --> 00:33:03,440 两位! 742 00:33:03,441 --> 00:33:06,485 在我们离开之前 你们把话说开了吗? 743 00:33:06,486 --> 00:33:09,697 有话要说就趁现在 之后就能继续向前 744 00:33:09,698 --> 00:33:10,823 我们都说了 745 00:33:10,824 --> 00:33:12,032 快让我离开这个衣橱 746 00:33:12,033 --> 00:33:13,409 里面放了太多奇怪的物品 747 00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:15,787 - 很好 - 很好 748 00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:19,248 贝拉,你真了不起 749 00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:21,167 或许你会是很优秀的师友会成员 750 00:33:32,637 --> 00:33:34,556 各位,快千禧年了 751 00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:37,891 十、九 752 00:33:37,892 --> 00:33:45,608 八、七、六、五、四、三、二、一! 753 00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:48,110 - 等等,什么? - 怎么回事? 754 00:33:48,111 --> 00:33:49,654 真的变千禧年了? 755 00:33:57,787 --> 00:33:59,581 - 去喝酒? - 好,走吧 756 00:34:02,917 --> 00:34:04,419 - 太好了 - 对 757 00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:16,764 蕾登 758 00:34:16,765 --> 00:34:18,807 我没办法接受 759 00:34:18,808 --> 00:34:20,309 要搭巴士通勤去佛蒙特大学 760 00:34:20,310 --> 00:34:24,605 我连下周都无法接受 更何况是去三年 761 00:34:24,606 --> 00:34:26,482 很遗憾听你这么说 762 00:34:26,483 --> 00:34:27,608 就这样? 763 00:34:27,609 --> 00:34:30,444 老兄,这里应该是国内 最好的学校之一 764 00:34:30,445 --> 00:34:33,989 我懂,艾赛克斯是个好学校 但数学课程没那么出色 765 00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:35,366 如果你想上数学课 766 00:34:35,367 --> 00:34:39,829 我可以联络麻省理工学院的同事 谈谈他们的转学申请截止日 767 00:34:41,706 --> 00:34:44,000 是那间麻省理工学院? 768 00:34:45,335 --> 00:34:48,087 那不是在波士顿吗? 769 00:34:48,088 --> 00:34:49,171 待续 770 00:34:49,172 --> 00:34:50,256 谢谢观赏