1
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:12,219
約翰艾賽克斯,我是來道別的

2
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:15,139
我原本是要來這裡改革喜劇

3
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,392
成為第一個黑人、原住民和有色人種
又性積極的幽默大師

4
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:21,228
可是我卻都在蹺課與上床

5
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:25,524
我知道聽起來很酷
但我保證完全不是這樣

6
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,901
我其實很惡劣

7
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,070
我疏遠自己加入的每一個團體

8
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:32,865
把企圖心看得比友誼還重

9
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,034
我浪費所有機會

10
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,952
所以我要離開了

11
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,371
我會想念你跟我的室友

12
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:42,333
當然還有無窮無盡的肌肉男

13
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,043
他們是如此地豪放

14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:48,881
但我得專心處理
有史以來最難的功課,改造自己

15
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,467
而且天啊,你的脖子好粗

16
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,969
你身高七呎三吋?

17
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,096
要是我們同時都在這裡,強尼

18
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,473
我一定會巴著你不放

19
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,850
不好意思,小姐,妳是貝拉摩赫查?

20
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,769
妳剛才提出轉學申請?

21
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:02,853
對,是我沒錯

22
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:06,065
是這樣的
我大一的生活不符合我的期待

23
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,777
幫幾個人打手槍
取得菁英喜劇雜誌的機會後,我...

24
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,820
不用講這麼詳細,但妳不能轉學

25
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:15,616
我在這裡工作30年
從沒看過妳這麼低的平均成績

26
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,951
有個昏迷的女孩成績還比妳優秀

27
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,329
對,不過那顯然有政治考量

28
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,290
我想妳只能秋天回到這裡

29
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,249
設法提高成績

30
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,584
還有,那不是約翰艾賽克斯

31
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:28,003
那是雅各梅爾葉慈,他不是個好東西

32
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:31,633
吃掉家人後,他在奧勒岡小徑凍死

33
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,009
真可怕

34
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:37,305
我對男人的品味真的有待加強

35
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,309
片名:慾望女大生

36
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:43,478
(歡迎來到綠山之州弗蒙特)

37
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,943
夏天超好玩的

38
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,655
真想趕快跟大家分享
我們歐洲自助旅行之旅的經歷

39
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,739
我也是

40
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:59,618
不過提醒妳一下
我們的旅程稱不上是自助旅行

41
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,953
妳雇用了司機

42
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,372
我們都住高級飯店

43
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:07,001
是沒錯,但我帶了可愛的小背包

44
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,377
天啊,我好愛弗蒙特

45
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,339
這裡的樹葉、山脈跟楓糖漿

46
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:15,175
要不是他們太信奉社會主義
我一定會搬來這裡

47
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,177
這裡很適合女同志

48
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:20,139
對,喜歡付遺產稅的女同志

49
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,141
爸,跟你相處真的很棒

50
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,684
可是你不用陪我們搬宿舍

51
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:26,770
親愛的,我才不要錯過
跟我最愛的姐妹淘公路旅行的機會

52
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,314
好嗎?而且我有點憂鬱

53
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,608
妳媽說我得出門走走

54
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,778
可以先靠邊停嗎?

55
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,572
好,沒問題,當然可以

56
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,823
沒事吧?妳...

57
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,992
沒事,只是接個電話

58
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,077
抱歉

59
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,290
等我一下

60
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,419
如果妳覺得是其他女孩來電
妳就錯了

61
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,962
我一開始也這麼想

62
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,673
但我不希望妳想太多

63
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:03,640
妳是芬可家第一個唸到大二的人

64
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,225
妳辦到了,親愛的

65
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:08,479
妳比因為把自拍老二照
傳到其他人手機

66
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,939
而被亞利桑那州立大學開除的堂親朗
撐得更久

67
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,191
我覺得很自豪,媽

68
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,525
惠妮跟妳聯絡了嗎?

69
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,570
還沒,她還在為了迦南的事躲我

70
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:20,032
親愛的
為了男孩爭風吃醋在友誼的歷程中

71
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,617
不過是小事

72
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,869
- 一切都不會有事的
- 謝了,媽

73
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,373
我很期待見見迦南

74
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,708
- 爸,這是什麼打扮?
- 妳喜歡嗎?

75
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:33,128
唐納葛洛佛也穿類似的服裝
出席英國影藝學院電影獎

76
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,798
發出了虹光

77
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,341
對,不太透氣

78
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,509
我滿身大汗

79
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,219
- 糟透了
- 好吧

80
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,971
但為了妳的新男友盛裝打扮是值得的

81
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,474
他不是我的男友
我們還沒給彼此那種名分

82
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,769
抱歉,伴侶
或任何...年輕人時興的說法

83
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,105
- 應該是叫砲友?
- 原來是砲友

84
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,773
- 才不是
- 好

85
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,899
我們該離開了

86
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,693
- 我們愛妳
- 好,我愛你們,我愛你

87
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,027
等等...不是要共進午餐?

88
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,822
我想讓迦南看到我的上衣給他好印象

89
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,573
我會告訴他的,我愛你們

90
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,742
愛妳

91
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:08,330
拿出妳們的母女檔水滴落下舞

92
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:12,751
(拿出妳們的母女檔水滴落下舞)

93
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,795
非常完美,我等不及要上傳了

94
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:18,215
克里斯馬修斯
一定不敢再說我全身僵硬

95
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,800
我很高興

96
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,512
有機會協助妳完成任務,媽

97
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,598
我好愛妳

98
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:30,060
我知道妳的大二生活一定會很精采

99
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,812
她來了

100
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,773
天啊,住手,我認識她

101
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,484
- 妳認識這個攻擊者?
- 天啊

102
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,489
她不是攻擊者,媽
這是我姐妹會的好友愛許麗

103
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,781
很抱歉,愛許麗

104
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,617
從1月6日開始
我們對朝我直奔而來的金紅髮女郎

105
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,703
採取零容忍政策

106
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,912
天啊,沒關係

107
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,789
我的脊椎承受了主要的衝擊

108
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:55,169
我來幫妳拿
我的新姐妹,不是“妹子”

109
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,545
那種說法是絕對不行的

110
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,631
我就直說吧

111
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,175
我覺得妳住在這裡很奇怪

112
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,551
一點也不奇怪,媽

113
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,386
姐妹會宿舍就像高級飯店

114
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,929
- 而且離足球場很近
- 對,但...

115
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,222
好嗎?今年會很愉快的

116
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,350
我只是沒想到妳沒有要和金柏麗同住

117
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,476
我喜歡她

118
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,562
她會把妳參加的派對
全球定位系統座標傳給我

119
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,398
金柏麗跟我...

120
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,150
怎麼了,親愛的?

121
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,902
沒事,我只是需要改變

122
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,028
要陪我走進去嗎?

123
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,155
那當然

124
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:38,045
我絕對不會物化年輕男性

125
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,673
但我會猛盯著他到他經過為止

126
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,259
- 媽,夠了,這樣很怪
- 好吧

127
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:55,187
還好妳們來了,真的很慘

128
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,313
我們的房間是三人房

129
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,731
妳好,貝拉

130
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,941
我夏天也過得很愉快

131
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,275
感謝關心

132
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,819
這樣很怪吧?這是公共空間

133
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,613
而我們得一起睡在那間小臥房裡

134
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,948
我才不要

135
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,157
這樣不是很怪嗎?

136
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,410
兩位,就只是一個房間擺了三張床

137
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,995
對,可是不對稱

138
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,872
我頭好暈,我得坐下來

139
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:17,418
我才不要睡上下舖
這樣好像過夜營隊的無名小卒

140
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,711
我要睡單人床

141
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,212
妳們兩個太小題大作了

142
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,256
不只是那樣,這實在太奇怪了

143
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,340
惠妮呢?

144
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,342
她是我們之中的運動辣妹

145
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,803
我們的性感程度少了四分之一

146
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,138
我好想念那個小妞

147
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:32,266
我認為這個新房間超棒

148
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,560
頂樓的景色美多了

149
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,270
我們會看到很多鳥兒

150
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,354
好吧

151
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,399
不過我們得好好布置一下
例如用這張椅子

152
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,818
我提早到,這是我自己安裝的

153
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,071
大二了,我們得加把勁

154
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,868
貝拉,妳沒事吧?

155
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,828
我沒事,我晚點再修理

156
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,080
今年的家具都由我來選

157
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,541
明白了

158
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,209
惠妮有跟妳們聯絡嗎?

159
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,461
我知道她不想理我

160
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,631
可是她整個夏天
都沒傳訊到群組裡也太奇怪了

161
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,924
- 有個排除了妳的新群組
- 什麼?

162
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,676
蕾登跟我曾去華府找惠妮

163
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,927
還跟賀錦麗共進晚餐

164
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,554
什麼?

165
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,348
我本來打算保留不說的

166
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,558
妳得設法解決這個問題

167
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,060
這讓我群組聊天時很焦慮

168
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,562
而且貝拉還把笑話傳到兩個群組

169
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,272
假裝我喜歡她的笑話一次就夠難了

170
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,858
我整個夏天都在設法解決問題

171
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,693
我傳了簡訊,打了電話

172
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,321
我甚至傳了我彈烏克麗麗的動人影片

173
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,614
但她都沒回應

174
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,658
所以我以為給她時間,她就會想通

175
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,326
也有可能妳給她太多空間與時間

176
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,328
結果她發現少了妳,她也過得很好

177
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,622
至少她是這麼跟錦麗說的

178
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,207
她跟錦麗提到我?

179
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,291
大多是道格說的

180
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,294
道格在場?

181
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,219
是我的錯覺,還是本校有一群男生

182
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,429
今年夏天都變帥氣了?

183
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,390
看看瘦子葛瑞格

184
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,141
現在都變壯漢葛瑞格了

185
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,644
看看他現在渾身肌肉

186
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,729
我要跟壯瘦葛瑞格上床

187
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,980
我也有事要宣布

188
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,108
整個夏天自我反省後

189
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,193
我決定要暫時放下喜劇表演

190
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,655
等等,那些女孩
不是把妳踢出團體了?

191
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,908
妳只不過是說得像妳自願離開的一樣

192
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,410
嚴格來說的確是這樣

193
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,830
我同時決定要改頭換面

194
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,331
我討厭自己去年的模樣

195
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,542
我自私又懶惰

196
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,337
凡事都以性慾為主,連現在也是

197
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,089
我的上衣領口怎麼開這麼低?

198
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,507
我以妳為榮,貝拉

199
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,301
照鏡子時很難發現
自己有多煩人,並且想要改變

200
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,220
對,暫時離開喜劇表演很好

201
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,680
我居然會知道

202
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,808
“週六夜現場”每個卡司成員
是從哪間喜劇戲院出身的

203
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,560
我是風雲人物,不該知道這種事

204
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,104
各位前新鮮人好

205
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,941
我感到很驕傲,各位這麼開心又...

206
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,860
佛德,你還好嗎?

207
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,986
不好

208
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:53,032
我剛發現我暑假去當志工時
染上熱帶肺炎

209
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,950
所以我其實要回瑞典了

210
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,662
我在找願意當新大一生
師友會成員的人

211
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,039
這是重責大任

212
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,416
他們想家時,這個人會安慰他們

213
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,295
或是為他們年輕的小鼻腔噴納洛酮

214
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,715
我願意當師友會成員

215
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,550
妳是認真的?

216
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,135
對,我應該會做得很好

217
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,678
我去年犯了不少錯

218
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,139
或許最能引導這群年輕人的
就是把人生搞砸的人

219
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,475
那不是傳統上遴選的標準

220
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,518
我想幫助人們避免步上我的後塵

221
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,937
拜託,佛德,我真的覺得我辦得到

222
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,731
我有年夏天也當過營隊輔導員

223
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,274
我幾乎都能接住每一個學員

224
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:31,445
好,我會把需要的必備資料傳給妳...

225
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,531
天啊,佛德,我們喜歡你
但是請馬上遠離我們的食物

226
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,450
立刻離開

227
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:37,659
我要先離開

228
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,495
我要去買求和的禮物給惠妮

229
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:43,499
我想買個有品味的小浣熊水晶雕像

230
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,001
妳要買個爛裝飾品
來為了跟她男友上床道歉?

231
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,754
首先,迦南已經不是她男友了

232
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,631
我們也還沒發生性行為

233
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,509
妳還沒跟他上床?都過了一整個暑假

234
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,761
這次偷吃為什麼這麼純潔?

235
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,346
迦南在紐約實習

236
00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:59,932
而我回到家鄉的格魯明戴爾工作

237
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,351
我們有天晚上的確想視訊愛愛

238
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,103
但我的電腦壞了

239
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,355
我不知道要怎麼關閉海盜帽濾鏡

240
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,774
那就買更好的禮物給惠妮

241
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,275
我們都需要妳解決這個問題

242
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,612
乾脆不要買東西送她

243
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,407
我自己來做?

244
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:17,950
好,那可不行

245
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,076
我總會想到該怎麼做的

246
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,996
我再傳點子給妳,我不信任妳的品味

247
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:26,083
妳怎麼有辦法這麼用力踢球?

248
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,002
妳開始服用類固醇了?

249
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,129
有就點頭一次

250
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,339
如果可以給我一點藥來練臀肌
就點頭兩次

251
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,634
不是的,我只是踢球時
在想像金柏麗那張蠢臉

252
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,054
真有意思,我其實覺得她長得很漂亮

253
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,141
我就知道妳會因此更有動力
保持這股怒氣

254
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,643
我們會藉此一路踢進全國賽

255
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,897
爭球,回來的先發球員穿藍色服裝
大一生穿黃色服裝

256
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,190
準備給這些女孩好看了?

257
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,443
妳知道的,但大多都得看妳

258
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,446
我6月之後就沒有在運動了

259
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,768
那個新來的女孩很厲害
她踢哪個位置?

260
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,103
她是中鋒

261
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,148
等等,這可能會是一場硬仗

262
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,240
(艾賽克斯學院
西元1792年創立)

263
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,076
- 你好?
- 妳好,蕾登

264
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,911
圖奇尼教授

265
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,037
怎麼都沒人?

266
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,457
這堂課不是代數與微分拓撲學嗎?

267
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,585
本來是,可是只有妳通過分級測驗

268
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,879
所以學校取消了這堂課

269
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,882
等等,所以我是這間廉價的學校
唯一的數學高手

270
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:57,966
卻因此受罰?

271
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,176
對

272
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,427
可是這太離譜了

273
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:04,139
我本來很期待要了解
纖維化數列跟光纖束的

274
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,685
好消息是妳這個空檔

275
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,479
可以上我教的另一門課

276
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:15,359
妳想過數學在“哈比人”裡
扮演什麼角色嗎?

277
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,777
妳要打給誰?

278
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:17,903
我們家的律師

279
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:21,615
我爸跟爺爺避開了兩場戰爭
才有辦法唸艾賽克斯

280
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,283
所以他們一定會很不高興

281
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,160
等一下,可以先掛斷嗎?

282
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,579
麻煩先掛斷,別打了...抱歉

283
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,748
妳另外唯一的選擇就是

284
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,126
去附近的學校上這門課

285
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:35,921
艾賽克斯和他校結盟
所以如果妳不介意通勤

286
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:39,174
妳可以去弗蒙特大學的研究所

287
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,719
上更進階的課

288
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,721
- 要通勤多久?
- 30分鐘

289
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,055
60分鐘

290
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,557
有時要90分鐘

291
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,642
可是風景很美

292
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,312
好吧

293
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,325
不錯耶,有花灑蓮蓬頭,好

294
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,039
好,有水療音樂

295
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,250
寶格麗的?

296
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:14,794
我應該帶回去用

297
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,841
- 妳好
- 妳好

298
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,801
抱歉,妳嚇到我

299
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,304
抱歉,我訓練自己放輕腳步

300
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,931
這樣才知道其他女孩是否在說我壞話

301
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,266
我叫布萊兒

302
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,684
妳目前覺得姐妹會如何?

303
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,022
我真的會想念
我們宿舍那個老是醉醺醺的傢伙

304
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,397
他都在我們門口小便

305
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,733
但除此之外,我覺得這裡還不錯

306
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,486
天啊,很高興妳這麼說

307
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,821
不過她們請我來提醒妳一件事

308
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,531
是我幹的

309
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,241
我搜刮所有高級肥皂跟洗髮精

310
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,911
不是的,妳沒參加
今天早上的貝果聯誼時間

311
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,580
所以我得給妳這個

312
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,291
- 80美元的帳單?
- 對

313
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,418
- 不是的,我是去練足球
- 對

314
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,672
我們很喜歡妳在場上呼風喚雨的模樣

315
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,883
但妳也要跟我們培養感情

316
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,427
如果妳不能參加聚會

317
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,762
可以提早48小時通知我們

318
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,056
好嗎,妹子?好,奶茶聊天時光見

319
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,140
我好期待

320
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,393
大家一定會很棒的

321
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,525
惠妮,有人來找妳

322
00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:21,735
是妳

323
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,196
是我

324
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,864
可以抱妳嗎?我想抱妳

325
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,283
不用了

326
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:31,453
我知道妳都不理會我的簡訊

327
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,996
所以我是來向妳道歉的

328
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,540
我真的很想妳

329
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,708
我整個暑假都在想妳

330
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,418
我在格魯明戴爾工作時

331
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,546
每天都會在那些小貓小狗臉上
看到妳的身影

332
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,715
妳到底想說什麼?

333
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,302
我想親自道歉,並且給妳這個東西

334
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:48,679
這是化妝箱

335
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,889
妳去年稱讚過我的箱子

336
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,641
我想妳可以藉此整理妳的化裝品

337
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,309
那每次都讓妳壓力很大

338
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,936
如果妳想跟我當朋友

339
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,565
就不該跟我前任親熱
還當著我的面說謊

340
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:00,983
妳做了什麼?

341
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,693
這是私人談話

342
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,903
這裡是姐妹會,沒有這種事

343
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,071
- 對
- 說真的

344
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,365
- 我絕不會說女人壞話
- 對

345
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,659
但如果妳這麼對朋友
妳就是專門勾引男人的蕩婦

346
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,202
我才不會勾引男人

347
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:15,789
妳居然有膽穿這件爛牛仔緊身褲

348
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:19,418
跟奇怪的回收鞋跑來這裡
提出超沒誠意的道歉說詞

349
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,878
哪裡奇怪?

350
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,880
每買一雙,他們就捐一雙給窮人

351
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:25,507
好極了,所以有個遊民
也穿了一雙醜鞋

352
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,051
- 快滾
- 再見

353
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,469
- 再見
- 再見

354
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,138
不准再踏進我們門廳一步

355
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:35,602
那我把化妝箱放在門廊

356
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,649
我有事得跟妳談談

357
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,568
好,我們已經談過了

358
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:47,404
做春夢夢到克莉絲汀史都華不算出軌

359
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,323
老實說,不夢到她才奇怪

360
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:50,949
跟那件事無關

361
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,536
我想說的是...

362
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,373
我要離開艾賽克斯了

363
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,416
去為凱莉瓦坦納比工作

364
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,751
波士頓市長?

365
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,294
對,她超棒的

366
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,506
而且她是我的直屬上司

367
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,300
所以我最近接了許多奇怪的電話

368
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,386
我今天早上得知的

369
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,555
妳要從大學輟學,有沒有搞錯?

370
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,766
我又不是要輟學去販毒

371
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,560
這是我畢業後爭破頭也想做的工作

372
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,562
好,那就跟每個正常人一樣
等畢業再去做

373
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,647
這太離譜了

374
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,900
我畢業後可能就沒機會了

375
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,902
何必留在這裡欠更多債務?

376
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,364
不是每個人都付得起學費

377
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,199
好吧

378
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,575
但妳也不用挖苦我

379
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,327
- 我不是這個意思
- 不用說了...

380
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,788
不,妳顯然已經決定好了

381
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,375
所以養尊處優的我就先告退了

382
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,837
祝妳在波士頓開心
妳說那裡是大城市?

383
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,381
他們甚至超過午夜就沒地鐵了

384
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:53,512
各位大一生好
現在來介紹師友會會長

385
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,474
女當家貝拉摩赫查

386
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:00,353
沒錯,對,各位

387
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,397
沒錯

388
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:06,608
感謝妳費心介紹我,司儀

389
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:09,112
開玩笑的,在大堂外大喊的人是我

390
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:17,327
好,我叫貝拉摩赫查
我會是各位的師友會會長

391
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:22,124
我的職責是以體貼的心
極端的幽默感及智慧

392
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:25,669
協助引導你們度過大一生活

393
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,881
我說真的,我很有智慧

394
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:32,301
很高興看到有人率先提問,怎麼了?

395
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,719
妳為什麼打領帶?

396
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,765
這是我微妙地
改造傳統男性服裝的風格

397
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,433
聽說這樣在酷兒社群很酷

398
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:40,768
我是酷兒

399
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,687
但我認識的人都不會打扮成那樣

400
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:46,274
真是太好了,妳是酷兒

401
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,150
但我很確定這種打扮很流行

402
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,569
我一定會知道
我來自紐澤西州,妳來自哪裡?

403
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,112
倫敦梅費爾

404
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,447
了不起

405
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,324
妳的平均成績真的是1.8嗎?

406
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,618
- 妳怎麼知道?
- 妳貼在推特上

407
00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:58,744
我在聚會前查過妳的資料

408
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:03,123
妳貼一張螢幕截圖
還寫了“1.8,應該叫天才吧”

409
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,668
好,首先,那則推文有很多人按讚

410
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:06,919
13個

411
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,754
對,對未經認證使用者來說算多了

412
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,090
很抱歉我不是超級巨星之類的

413
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:15,511
但更重要的是,我平均成績很低
所以很期待當各位的師友會會長

414
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,137
我大一時過得不太愉快

415
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,349
但我可以協助你們避免步上我的後塵

416
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,894
還有人要提問嗎?有嗎?沒有?

417
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,020
請說,同一個女孩

418
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,397
我叫泰勒

419
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:28,524
我可以跟大家說句話嗎?

420
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:29,942
當然可以

421
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:34,863
很抱歉我的口吻
聽起來太像Z世代之類的

422
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,907
只是...我忍不住

423
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,243
覺得這種艾賽克斯

424
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:42,705
派這種愛說教的學長姐
來談論美好的傳統

425
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,332
有點太過時了

426
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,874
好,在師友會聚會

427
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,419
質疑本會合理性的部分結束了

428
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,421
各位請拿出手機

429
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,548
該刪除人工智慧聊天程式了

430
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,842
先是希拉蕊柯林頓,現在換成我

431
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,386
人們很喜歡攻擊掌權的女性

432
00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:00,889
應該不是厭女情結
只是有人根據妳的資料

433
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:05,269
正確指出妳可能不適合做這份工作

434
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,646
- 妳說得對,她可能是嫉妒我
- 我不是這個意思

435
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,189
妳確定妳想扮演這個角色?

436
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,858
佛德之前好像不太喜歡

437
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,776
他現在可能快不行了

438
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,903
或許我的確太躁進了

439
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,905
只是我犯了那麼多錯

440
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,199
- 我很期待可以做點好事
- 我懂

441
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,118
但妳會找到其他助人方式,我很確定

442
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,995
- 對
- 沒錯

443
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,580
或許我可以開始錄播客

444
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,583
用幽默的方式討論大學生做的蠢事

445
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:31,211
第一集可以提到有個女孩
跟已婚的足球教練上床

446
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,505
為什麼要先提到我?用妳自己犯的錯

447
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,799
妳就告訴佛德妳不想加入師友會

448
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,512
我們以後再說服妳打消錄播客的主意

449
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,348
(艾麗西亞)

450
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,850
拒接艾麗西亞的電話

451
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,019
宣示妳優勢男性般
又過於柔美的支配地位?

452
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,271
確保她知道妳說了算?

453
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,399
貝拉,不要再用同志俚語了

454
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,025
可是我用得越來越巧妙了

455
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:56,904
不是...我不想理艾麗西亞
因為她說她要輟學

456
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,572
- 什麼?
- 真的嗎?

457
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:01,158
那妳為何不理她?
快回電,說服她留下來

458
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,951
不可能的,艾麗西亞很頑固

459
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,621
要是我勸她不要這麼做
她一定會唱反調

460
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,956
可是如果我不理她
她一定會開始動搖

461
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,833
她就會發現離開這裡實在是太荒謬了

462
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,878
有時最有說服力的論點
就是什麼都不說

463
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,130
那樣有用嗎?

464
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,343
我猜有吧

465
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,552
好,我得走了

466
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,888
不過今晚千禧年派對見

467
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,598
1990年代性感裝扮挑好了?

468
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,683
那當然

469
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:29,561
我會露出蕾登最高級的丁字褲

470
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,646
妳休想

471
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:34,066
小惠,妳知道金柏麗晚點會來?
可能會跟迦南一起來

472
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,275
我不在乎

473
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,404
我只希望姐妹會的人
不會想砍了她的頭

474
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,990
妳剛剛在笑我借不到丁字褲,對吧?

475
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,369
我是認真的

476
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,457
(西弗蒙特深谷線)

477
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,381
打擾了,小姐

478
00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,927
妳是我在這班巴士上看過
最漂亮的女孩

479
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,637
要吃香蕉片嗎?

480
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:04,888
謝謝,不用

481
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,307
好吧

482
00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:10,144
這超好吃的,是我攝取鉀的來源

483
00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:11,478
這是妳的損失

484
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,939
妳要去哪裡?

485
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,275
弗蒙特大學

486
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,901
天啊,好遠

487
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,362
我要在西波爾頓下車

488
00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,364
我在那裡的育種馬場工作

489
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,159
需要付出不少勞力
比人們想的還要多

490
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,537
我還有機會
從一匹馬體內拉出一匹小馬

491
00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:32,000
抱歉,有人說過我話很多

492
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:35,044
妳會多常搭這班巴士?

493
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:37,463
- 一週三次
- 好頻繁

494
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:39,715
對,但我很期待要去上這些課程

495
00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,967
我別無選擇

496
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,844
別擔心

497
00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:45,429
妳跟我會變成好姐妹

498
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:49,224
我會幫助妳了解東弗蒙特線的細節

499
00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,851
還有押韻耶

500
00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:53,437
聽我的建議,不要塗指甲油

501
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:56,482
路途顛簸,妳可能會塗得亂七八糟

502
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:59,234
謝謝,我想睡一下

503
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,737
好主意

504
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:04,866
妳還要搭很久的車

505
00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:09,953
金柏麗

506
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,539
- 迦南
- 妳好

507
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,416
我才正在想你什麼時候會來

508
00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:17,127
我正在整理烤壞的烘焙產品

509
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:20,130
我幫你留下比較沒有被壓壞的司康

510
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,840
真不敢相信我會這麼說

511
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,967
但我很想念啜飲館乾巴巴的司康

512
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:25,095
我也是

513
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,972
我在紐約幫妳買了這件上衣

514
00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:30,392
“我的紐約普澤餅情懷”?

515
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,770
真好笑

516
00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:35,979
真的有那麼好笑嗎?

517
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,690
我真的覺得很好笑

518
00:22:37,691 --> 00:22:39,149
好吧

519
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:42,194
- 很高興見到你本人
- 我也這麼覺得

520
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:45,447
少在那邊公開談情說愛

521
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:46,615
開玩笑的

522
00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:50,452
如果你們想要親熱
我在後面房間放了行軍床

523
00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:51,537
謝了,我們不用

524
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:52,663
- 妳確定?
- 對

525
00:22:52,664 --> 00:22:54,206
我要去換制服

526
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,917
- 我馬上回來
- 好,對

527
00:22:57,502 --> 00:23:01,338
我原本無法想像妳跟迦南在一起

528
00:23:01,339 --> 00:23:04,383
可是你們好登對

529
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:08,679
我喜歡真實的跨種族戀情

530
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,848
但我希望電視劇的角色不要亂跨

531
00:23:10,849 --> 00:23:12,683
不曉得為什麼,但我真的這麼覺得

532
00:23:12,684 --> 00:23:14,184
謝了

533
00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:16,895
我真的很喜歡迦南
很高興能再見到他

534
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,440
你們居然還沒上床

535
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:23,235
你們好像在參加約會節目
卻有世上最無趣的故事設定

536
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,404
我想我們今晚有機會獨處

537
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:28,907
我用了我媽的團購券
把下面的毛除得一乾二淨

538
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,492
- 很好
- 結果我的跨下好冷

539
00:23:30,493 --> 00:23:31,577
我不推薦除毛

540
00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,412
妳跟惠妮談過了嗎?

541
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:35,247
我試過了,她還在生氣

542
00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:37,333
但只要給她時間
她會想通的,我很清楚

543
00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:40,252
妳順從自己的心,這樣很好

544
00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:41,754
妳現在擁有迦南了

545
00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:44,006
可是妳跟惠妮當不成朋友了,女孩

546
00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:46,175
我不這麼認為,她跟我是很好的朋友

547
00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:47,676
友誼不是說斷就斷的

548
00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:49,928
不對,妳們當不成朋友了

549
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,930
這不是我個人的意見

550
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,932
這就像十誡

551
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,684
妳搶了她的男友

552
00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:57,811
妳們鬧翻了

553
00:23:57,812 --> 00:23:59,064
這是摩西說的

554
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:17,748
好,我們已經大二了

555
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:20,000
應該喝烈酒也不會臉色大變了

556
00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:22,127
- 我也這麼覺得,沒問題的,乾杯
- 乾杯,數到三

557
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:23,212
- 好
- 一、二...

558
00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:24,672
天啊

559
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,006
妳都還沒喝

560
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,174
對,可是氣味很嗆

561
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:30,844
成熟一點,哪有什麼氣味,天啊

562
00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:32,180
妳們準備好了嗎?

563
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:40,312
天啊,蕾登,妳美到我快哭出來了

564
00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:43,399
我不是要打扮得很美
而是要非常性感

565
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,859
妳很性感,比新聞主播還性感

566
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:47,653
對,等艾麗西亞看到我的打扮

567
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,279
她一定無法輟學

568
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,781
等等,艾麗西亞要輟學?

569
00:24:50,782 --> 00:24:52,157
不是談過這件事了?

570
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:54,535
是跟惠妮吃午餐時談的
跟金柏麗吃午餐時沒有

571
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:58,038
等等,妳們和我吃完午餐
就去跟惠妮吃午餐?

572
00:24:58,039 --> 00:25:00,124
天啊,糟透了
我討厭同樣的事要講兩遍

573
00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:01,291
妳似乎很喜歡重述

574
00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:03,502
妳跟辛蒂亞在電梯眼神交會的經歷

575
00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:05,087
對,因為那很難忘

576
00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:06,840
我們兩個當時都要去大廳

577
00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:10,427
- 可以出發了嗎?
- 可以

578
00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,099
我帶了飲料來賽前派對

579
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:20,520
各位?

580
00:25:23,732 --> 00:25:26,150
妳好,我們正要準備出門

581
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:29,195
天啊,妳們待會就會把妝塗勻了嗎?

582
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:32,573
要先等出油部位的蜜粉定妝,傻瓜

583
00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:35,576
好,我出門前

584
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:38,537
我通常喜歡播音樂、跳舞跟喝酒

585
00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:41,290
- 有人要一起來嗎?
- 聽起來真的很有趣

586
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:44,043
可是不行,我們得再等45分鐘

587
00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:45,961
好吧

588
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:48,047
那麼妳們準備好之前,我就先去玩了

589
00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:50,049
妳不會要穿這身服裝去參加吧?

590
00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:52,092
是啊,怎麼了?有什麼...

591
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:53,303
有什麼不對嗎?

592
00:25:54,888 --> 00:25:56,680
小惠,妳沒看電郵嗎?

593
00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,474
我們今晚都要穿淺藍色的衣服

594
00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,185
拍團體照時很重要

595
00:26:01,186 --> 00:26:04,563
我們想呈現出一整片連續的淺藍色

596
00:26:04,564 --> 00:26:07,191
那件衣服的顏色會很突兀

597
00:26:07,192 --> 00:26:09,109
我很不想再開罰單給妳

598
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:13,197
因為沒穿同色系服裝去派對
我就會受罰?

599
00:26:13,198 --> 00:26:14,365
很遺憾的確是如此

600
00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:15,909
還有照片的重新調整費

601
00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:19,328
好,那我去換衣服

602
00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:21,539
- 好極了,愛妳,寶貝
- 我們愛妳

603
00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:31,841
(千禧年)

604
00:26:34,678 --> 00:26:37,012
這裡真是太棒了

605
00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:38,972
天啊,我超愛的

606
00:26:38,973 --> 00:26:40,391
對,1990年代晚期超棒

607
00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:43,060
DJ會不會
有“歡樂一家親”的主題曲?

608
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:44,186
快去喝酒吧

609
00:26:44,187 --> 00:26:47,606
我帶路,因為我穿了暴走鞋

610
00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,192
貝拉,不要

611
00:26:54,489 --> 00:26:56,657
妳們可以把我推到吧台那裡嗎?

612
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:57,909
可以

613
00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,165
- 妳好嗎?
- 你好

614
00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:07,669
妳們看起來真美,尤其是妳

615
00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:16,802
- 好吧,這真是糟透了
- 沒錯

616
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,304
我確定了,我不喜歡女生之間的紛爭

617
00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:22,307
除非是有錢的紐約或亞特蘭大嬌妻

618
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,978
- 要去看看小惠嗎?
- 好,我們馬上回來

619
00:27:27,063 --> 00:27:29,148
- 妳沒事吧?
- 對,我沒事

620
00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:31,067
- 去喝杯酒吧
- 好

621
00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:38,532
天啊,我很高興
我跟那些女孩沒有來往了

622
00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:39,825
她們真的很平凡

623
00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,910
對,或許吧

624
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:43,454
但其中幾個也很有深度

625
00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:44,830
惠妮,過來

626
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:47,416
拍這張照片時
妳得在前面遮住我奇怪的膝蓋

627
00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:49,168
我得去盡我的義務了

628
00:27:49,169 --> 00:27:50,628
- 艾麗西亞來了
- 什麼?

629
00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:54,798
- 我該留下來嗎?
- 顯然不該

630
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:56,967
等等,我看起來如何?

631
00:27:56,968 --> 00:27:58,218
妳看起來美極了

632
00:27:58,219 --> 00:28:00,137
往左一點,等她接近,妳就會背光

633
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:02,015
天啊,我傳授了妳不少妙招,謝謝

634
00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:12,858
- 嘿
-“嘿”?

635
00:28:12,859 --> 00:28:14,651
就這樣?我們得談談

636
00:28:14,652 --> 00:28:16,945
我打給妳三次,甚至想跟妳視訊

637
00:28:16,946 --> 00:28:18,864
妳也知道我覺得視訊電話很蠢

638
00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:22,326
我即將做出
此生最重大的決定之一,而我...

639
00:28:22,327 --> 00:28:24,912
我想先跟妳討論,妳卻不在

640
00:28:24,913 --> 00:28:26,789
很抱歉,我只是...

641
00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:28,040
我不希望妳離開

642
00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,208
小蕾,我別無選擇

643
00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:32,878
即使我很害怕,我也很期待

644
00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:36,465
真希望妳也能為我感到興奮

645
00:28:36,466 --> 00:28:38,927
妳要離開了,我要怎麼為妳興奮?

646
00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:40,511
因為這對我最好

647
00:28:40,512 --> 00:28:44,098
我上大學並不是要弄清楚
喝哪種啤酒會胃食道逆流

648
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:45,516
然後欠債好幾年

649
00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:48,143
我是來弄清楚我想要的人生
我也辦到了

650
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:50,437
那樣不好嗎?

651
00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:51,940
可是我們...

652
00:28:52,065 --> 00:28:53,358
我們會如何?

653
00:28:54,609 --> 00:28:55,859
我們就這麼分手?

654
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,822
我不想要那樣
但如果妳要的話,我也能諒解

655
00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:02,534
我愛妳,蕾登

656
00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:05,285
我要搬去波士頓了

657
00:29:05,286 --> 00:29:10,417
但妳想分手的話,這段戀情才會結束

658
00:29:12,085 --> 00:29:13,377
我不會那麼做的

659
00:29:13,378 --> 00:29:14,587
真的嗎?

660
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:19,634
不然我們且戰且走?

661
00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:22,929
好,聽起來很完美

662
00:29:24,389 --> 00:29:26,266
我也愛妳

663
00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:30,310
天啊,我不是叫妳先走?

664
00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:31,896
我沒走

665
00:29:37,944 --> 00:29:39,862
要不要找個地方獨處?

666
00:29:39,863 --> 00:29:42,741
- 好,去獨處吧
- 走吧

667
00:29:44,659 --> 00:29:48,288
- 我好興奮,終於可以親熱了
- 我也是

668
00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:53,293
你媽還好嗎?

669
00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:56,462
我媽?妳為什麼現在提起我媽?

670
00:29:56,463 --> 00:29:58,715
不曉得,那很怪,當我沒說

671
00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:07,514
明天在啜飲館

672
00:30:07,515 --> 00:30:09,809
廁所的馬桶刷該換了

673
00:30:11,394 --> 00:30:13,062
- 好,怎麼回事?
- 我不知道

674
00:30:13,063 --> 00:30:14,396
- 感覺是不是很怪?
- 對

675
00:30:14,397 --> 00:30:15,481
對,有一點

676
00:30:15,482 --> 00:30:18,525
我在設法不要為此心煩

677
00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:20,569
只是...我認識的你是迦南

678
00:30:20,570 --> 00:30:23,113
我很喜歡與欣賞的好同事

679
00:30:23,114 --> 00:30:24,365
我覺得你超棒的

680
00:30:24,366 --> 00:30:28,369
絕對會有人想跟身材這麼好的你上床

681
00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:31,246
可是我不知道,我就是覺得怪怪的

682
00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:34,333
對,不曉得,我覺得有點尷尬

683
00:30:34,334 --> 00:30:37,503
我剛摸了妳的胸部
我真的很想邊捏邊發喇叭聲

684
00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:40,339
但我不是那種人,我不會配上音效

685
00:30:40,340 --> 00:30:45,386
對,最重要的是
我就是...我不能這麼對惠妮

686
00:30:45,387 --> 00:30:48,180
我很想她,我真的很想她

687
00:30:48,181 --> 00:30:51,685
想到大學
我第一個就想到她這個朋友

688
00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:53,770
我尊重這一點

689
00:30:58,066 --> 00:31:00,192
我其實覺得配上音效還蠻酷的

690
00:31:00,193 --> 00:31:01,610
對,我很清楚妳會喜歡

691
00:31:01,611 --> 00:31:05,864
你脫掉上衣時,我真的很想配上音效

692
00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:07,367
我想也是

693
00:31:13,456 --> 00:31:14,707
- 我們得談談
- 是嗎?

694
00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:16,041
惠妮,別這樣

695
00:31:16,042 --> 00:31:17,126
不行...

696
00:31:17,127 --> 00:31:18,460
快滾,出去

697
00:31:18,461 --> 00:31:21,213
我想跟我的朋友談談
妳不能像趕貓一樣打發我走

698
00:31:21,214 --> 00:31:23,257
我來處理

699
00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,259
蕩婦會說什麼?

700
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:26,385
我才不會說“什麼”

701
00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:28,178
- 妳說了
- 那不算數

702
00:31:28,179 --> 00:31:29,638
- 好,夠了
- 妳是個蠢蕩婦

703
00:31:29,639 --> 00:31:32,266
休想對我的朋友
進行蕩婦羞辱,惡毒女

704
00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:34,393
好了...大家冷靜

705
00:31:34,394 --> 00:31:35,936
妳們兩個快進入這個衣櫥裡

706
00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:37,730
和好了才能出來

707
00:31:37,731 --> 00:31:38,897
- 進去
- 不要

708
00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:40,607
- 我不要去兄弟會地下室衣櫥
- 進去

709
00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:42,484
- 我不要...那是牛鞍?
- 進去

710
00:31:42,485 --> 00:31:45,238
- 嘿
- 開始談,上鎖了

711
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:54,289
怎麼了?

712
00:31:55,248 --> 00:31:56,707
不要牽我的手

713
00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:58,959
我沒有,那應該是假人吧

714
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,711
搞什麼?

715
00:32:00,712 --> 00:32:02,504
惠妮,真的很抱歉

716
00:32:02,505 --> 00:32:04,048
我跟迦南分開了

717
00:32:04,049 --> 00:32:05,591
那跟迦南無關

718
00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:07,551
重點是妳曾是我最好的朋友之一

719
00:32:07,552 --> 00:32:10,054
妳不僅搶走妳明知道害我心碎的男生

720
00:32:10,055 --> 00:32:12,348
後來妳又當著我的面說謊

721
00:32:12,349 --> 00:32:14,433
我真的很受傷,我不該受到這種對待

722
00:32:14,434 --> 00:32:15,976
妳說得對,我搞砸了

723
00:32:15,977 --> 00:32:18,896
我不顧妳的感受,那樣是不對的

724
00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:22,359
但如果妳可以原諒我
我絕對不會再這樣傷害妳

725
00:32:23,777 --> 00:32:26,821
惠妮,妳對我很重要,我真的很想妳

726
00:32:28,698 --> 00:32:29,865
我也很想妳

727
00:32:29,866 --> 00:32:32,201
如果妳在意的話,我們完全沒上過床

728
00:32:32,202 --> 00:32:34,870
我只碰過他腰部以下一次
還是不小心的

729
00:32:34,871 --> 00:32:37,289
是我在為糕餅展示櫃除塵時掠過

730
00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:38,666
不用講這麼詳細

731
00:32:38,667 --> 00:32:40,960
我只是想盡量坦白跟妳說

732
00:32:42,128 --> 00:32:44,047
我們可以和好了嗎?

733
00:32:45,715 --> 00:32:46,800
我們和好了

734
00:32:48,134 --> 00:32:50,010
我也想搬回去跟妳們一起住

735
00:32:50,011 --> 00:32:52,429
姐妹會令我難以招架
奇怪的是也讓我負債累累

736
00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:54,515
我很希望妳回來

737
00:32:54,516 --> 00:32:56,725
沒有床或空間能容納妳

738
00:32:56,726 --> 00:32:58,227
- 不過我們可以想辦法
- 好

739
00:32:58,228 --> 00:32:59,979
好

740
00:33:02,148 --> 00:33:03,440
兩位!

741
00:33:03,441 --> 00:33:06,485
在我們離開之前
妳們把話都說開了嗎?

742
00:33:06,486 --> 00:33:09,697
有話要說就趁現在
之後才能繼續向前

743
00:33:09,698 --> 00:33:10,823
我們都說了

744
00:33:10,824 --> 00:33:12,032
快讓我離開這個衣櫥

745
00:33:12,033 --> 00:33:13,409
裡面放了太多怪東西

746
00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:15,787
- 很好
- 很好

747
00:33:17,497 --> 00:33:19,248
貝拉,妳真了不起

748
00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:21,167
或許妳會是很優秀的師友會成員

749
00:33:32,637 --> 00:33:34,556
各位,快千禧年了

750
00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:37,891
十、九

751
00:33:37,892 --> 00:33:45,608
八、七、六、五、四、三、二、一!

752
00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:48,110
- 等等,什麼?
- 怎麼回事?

753
00:33:48,111 --> 00:33:49,654
真的變千禧年了?

754
00:33:57,787 --> 00:33:59,581
- 去喝酒?
- 好,走吧

755
00:34:02,917 --> 00:34:04,419
- 太好了
- 對

756
00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:16,764
蕾登

757
00:34:16,765 --> 00:34:20,309
我沒辦法接受
要搭巴士通勤去弗蒙特大學

758
00:34:20,310 --> 00:34:24,605
我連下週要去都無法接受
更何況是去三年

759
00:34:24,606 --> 00:34:26,482
很遺憾聽妳這麼說

760
00:34:26,483 --> 00:34:27,608
就這樣?

761
00:34:27,609 --> 00:34:30,444
老兄,這應該是國內最好的學校之一

762
00:34:30,445 --> 00:34:33,989
我懂,艾賽克斯是個好學校
但數學課程沒那麼出色

763
00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:35,366
如果妳想上數學課

764
00:34:35,367 --> 00:34:39,829
我可以聯絡麻省理工學院的同事
談談他們的轉學申請截止日

765
00:34:41,706 --> 00:34:44,000
是那間麻省理工學院?

766
00:34:45,335 --> 00:34:48,463
那不是在波士頓嗎?

767
00:34:48,672 --> 00:34:49,672
待續

768
00:34:49,673 --> 00:34:50,757
謝謝觀賞

769
00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:54,761
翻譯:王靜怡