[upbeat pop music]
♪ ♪
- Hello, my favorite freshthems.
Tomorrow is the start of Pre-Frosh Weekend,
where newly accepted students visit to get their first taste
of the Essex experience.
- How exciting. I'll never forget
my Pre-Frosh Weekend.
My host was so fun.
But she got really drunk,
and I had to watch them pump her stomach.
Oh! And I tried Thai food
for the first time.
Not for me.
- If any of you are hosting
potential new students,
please be responsible with them.
- FYI, we are hosting one.
- Wait, we are? - Yeah, it's my friend
from back home. Her name's Priya.
She's a sweet Indian nerd.
I just sent an old pic of us to our thread.
[phones dinging]
[phone honks] - [gasps]
- Oh, wow.
- Damn, no one zoom in. It made me sad.
- Bela, for your well-being,
don't send photos like that.
- Okay, fine, but everyone be nice to Priya.
She always looked up to me like I was
her way-cooler big sister.
- Aw. - And you were cooler than her
when this photo was taken?
- Clearly. - Mm.
- So nobody make a big thing about this,
but my dad texted me saying that he's bringing up
my cousin to campus for Pre-Frosh Weekend,
and I have decided to come out to him.
- You are? [all exclaim]
- That's awesome.
- Yeah, I'm ready. It's time.
- Maybe you can do it in a fun way.
My cousin proposed using a nursing home flash mob.
It was slow, but moving.
- Yeah, I think I'm just gonna tell him
with words. - Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- I'm just sick of keeping this a secret.
- I also have a secret.
- Oh, my God! You're gay too!
- What? No.
- Oh. - No, I had sex with Andrew.
- What? - You did?
- The bio bro? - Wait, don't you two, like,
hate each other? - Yes, he's insufferable.
But also, he has, like, secret surprise arm muscles.
- Ooh...
- But it was a one-time thing.
Sleeping with my lab partner is way too complicated.
[knock at door] - Okay, oh, my God,
that's Priya.
Everyone, stop talking about sex.
Her dorky, little ears cannot handle that.
Talk about Microsoft Excel.
- Bela! - Priya?
- It's so good to see you!
- Wow! Uh,
I didn't even recognize you.
You got hot and grew boobs.
- Mm. Mm-mm. - Come in!
- ♪ I run the show, my chest be big, yo ♪
♪ We run the streets from west to east coast ♪
♪ I'm a really big deal ♪
- I'm so excited you got into Essex.
Here's the place I knew you'd wanna visit first--
the library. - Stop.
Your friends are gonna think I'm an epic loser.
- One summer, Priya spent so much time reading
that she got something called juvenile hunchback.
She had to wear a brace. - I made it look cool.
- You're gonna love Essex.
It's like the best place in the world.
- I'm so excited to be here.
This is actually my first night ever away from home.
- Aw.
- Right, you weren't allowed
to do anything in high school.
We had to have all
our sleepovers at your house.
Remember that time you got your
braces caught in a knit blanket
and you cried so hard
that you barfed? - I don't think
we need to tell your friends that story.
I'm gonna go peek inside the building.
- Yeah.
- She seems great. - No, agreed.
She's so cool. - Wait,
even you think she's cool? - Oh, my God, yeah.
I mean, she has great style, gorgeous hair,
a well-curated but effortless social media vibe.
She's cool as hell.
- Huh, took you months to call me cool.
- I called you "cool"?
I don't think I ever said that.
- Weird, I feel like you say it a lot.
[upbeat electronic music]
- Ooh, Kimberly, here comes Jackson.
- [gasps] How do I look?
- Who cares? What about me?
- Hey, I'd like to order a coffee Kimberly-style.
- What's Kimberly style?
- [whispers] Extra hot. - Oh, wow.
- Damn. - [chuckles]
We actually do have to serve
all our coffee at a standard temperature,
because of a recent lawsuit though.
- That's okay. Just came by
to say a quick hello before class.
I'll see you later.
- Bye.
[squeals] - So you still hangin' out
with the action figure, huh? - Leave her alone.
I'm proud of our girl. She loves herself a hot boy.
- What does that mean? - First, Nico.
Now, Farmer Long John.
You go for the ripped, big hotties.
- Not just 'cause they're hot. - Oh, please.
- You work this whole Ruth Bader Ginsburg angle,
but you like the hot guy.
It's okay to be a little shallow.
- I'm not shallow. - [laughs] It's fine.
I love it when people only like me for my looks.
It happens very frequently.
- Okay, name one thing you have in common with that guy.
- Uh, we both...
are born during winter months.
- [laughs] - Ah.
- That's a bad answer.
- Okay, so maybe I don't know what we have in common yet.
But I'll find it, all right?
- Whoa. - Whew.
- Okay. - Okay, it's getting
pretty heated.
I suggest everyone take an unpaid five.
Unpaid five!
I am such a great manager.
[upbeat music]
- God, I love this campus!
It's so nice up here.
- I'm really glad we got a chance to catch up.
- It's just your mom and I are going through a bit
of a hard time right now,
the whole thing with your brother,
you know? - Yeah.
- And then her charity is being investigated by the D.A.,
so she could be in a lot of trouble, you know?
And I'm not going down for that, you know?
I won't. And then, also,
please don't tell anybody about this,
but her Japanese hair transplant didn't take,
and so she's got a tiny bald spot.
But act like you don't notice it.
- That's a lot. - It is a lot.
It is a lot. - Yeah.
- But that's why I'm happy to be here.
So what's going on with you?
- Me? Pff.
Nothing.
Really nothing. - Nothing?
- No, no, nothing. [laughs] You know,
just the same old stuff.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hey, Andrew.
I think we need to talk
about the other day.
- Yeah, I've been thinking, and we shouldn't hook up again.
It's just not worth it for me. [slurps]
- Wait, you're saying sleeping with me isn't worth it for you?
- Yeah. - Do you not see
how much hotter than you I am?
- Listen, I did the math, and I'm 3% more productive
without you as a distraction.
- What's so distracting about me?
- Well, for one, you're wearing
a skirt to the lab
when all legs should be covered
in case of chemical spillage.
But instead, you're...
- A distraction?
[romantic music]
Damn it.
♪ ♪
- I wouldn't say I'm a campus celebrity,
but sure, I guess other people might.
- Hey, you're Priya, right? - Yeah.
- I'm Graham.
- Hi, Graham. - Oh, like the cracker--
motherfucker. - Shit, I'm sorry.
I didn't even see you there--
didn't even register there was another person here.
A bunch of us are planning a party in the woods,
like a fire and stuff, if you wanna come.
- Wow, um, yeah, I've never been to a party like that before.
It sounds super fun. Can my friend come?
- Oh, is this your friend?
I thought she was
your accountant or something.
But if it means you'll be there,
sure, bring her. - Actually,
we already have plans.
- Sorry--we do?
- Yeah, our dorm is hosting
a big floor party.
It's gonna be huge! You didn't think
I'd invite you to campus and not show you
how hard we kick it, did you? - [laughs] Okay.
I'm sorry. - It's all good.
[pop music]
- Yeah, boys invite me to parties all the time.
I can barely keep track of all the invites.
We're throwing a party tonight, and it has to be good.
- But I already had plans to finish my vision board.
I finally found a picture of AOC playing chess.
- Well, you can forget about that,
because we need to show Priya how cool I am
by throwing a rager.
- Wait, where is Priya? - At a Pre-Frosh event,
which gives us time to get this place in order.
- Wait, why are you stressed?
Doesn't Priya, like, look up to you or something?
- Oh, she used to, before her face cleared up
and she grew perfect tits and amazing peach ass.
- Is she old enough for you to be talking about her like that?
- A cute guy just hit on her in front of me
and made it clear I gave him absolutely no boner.
It's like the student has become the teacher.
- Isn't that a good thing?
Isn't that what the teacher wants?
- No. Teachers want their students
to fall in love with them
and worship them forever.
- No... - I don't think so.
- Why is Priya's approval so important to you?
- Because she used to think I was the best,
and that made me feel good about myself.
I don't want to lose that. - Yeah, I get that.
- Okay, we need to make sure we have a ton of booze
and a packed house. Leighton,
is your dad still here? Can he buy us a bunch
of top shelf stuff? - No, he's taking a walk
in a sculpture garden.
He's not really in a good place.
So I didn't come out to him.
- Aw, I'm sorry. - Yeah.
- Does Priya know you're gay? Can I tell her?
I think she might like that.
- Mm-mm.
- Fine, I'll let you tell her.
- That is not what that look meant.
- [gasps] Is that Jackson?
Jackson!
- Oh, hey. - What are you listening to?
Is it the podcast on erosion I told you about?
I hope you're enjoying it as much as I did.
- Oh, no. It's my workout mix.
It's a mashup of EDM and country.
Do you listen to either of those?
- No, my workout mix is mostly talk radio and think pieces.
- Hey, I'm gonna go watch "SmackDown."
You wanna join? - Oh, and that is?
- Wrestling. - Right, yeah, I knew that--
sanctioned violence. Whoo-hoo!
- Come on.
[percussive music]
- ♪ Different, mm ♪
♪ It be different, mm ♪
- Whitney!
- What's up, girl?
- Where are you guys coming from?
- Ah, you know, just gettin' our steps in.
200? What the hell?
This campus is tiny.
- Hold on. Who is that?
Did you two-- - You hooked up with him again?
You said you can't stand him. - Shh.
It just keeps happening.
- Interesting trajectory
to go from Canaan to that.
- Whoa! Hey, you almost hit me!
Scooters are vehicles,
and they should be in the street!
- If you wanna stop hooking up with him,
quit spending time alone with him.
- The thing is he's smart. So working with him is helpful.
- Well, keep it in public then, not some little lab
where you two keep getting freaky.
- Honestly, though, I get it.
Nerds are hot--
like Albert Einstein.
What? I love a thick 'stache.
[upbeat pop music]
- It shouldn't be a problem that I parked in the fire lane
just this one time, right? - It's always a problem.
- Murray, is that you?
- George. - Yes.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm on the commencement committee.
I'm--I just came up for a meeting.
- Come on! Great to see you, buddy.
- You too, man.
- Leighton, this is my old friend, George.
We were in the same pledge class together.
both: Alphi Psi until I die!
[laughter]
- Oh, by the way, this is my daughter, Tatum.
- Actually, Leighton and I know each other.
- Yeah, we're friends-- or, um, acquaintances.
- Oh, the next generation of the unbreakable Essex bond.
- Yeah, well, heads up though, Murray.
They are packed tonight.
We couldn't even get a seat at the bar.
- Oh. - Oh...
- Well, we have a reservation. Just sit with us.
- Oh, Dad, they don't wanna eat with us.
- We'd love to. - Oh!
- Great. - Great.
- Come on. - Tatum, can I talk to you
for a second?
- Hi, I am so sorry.
This is awkward. My dad doesn't know
that I'm gay, and I'm sure you think
that is super closeted of me, and I get it, okay?
My ex-girlfriend, Alicia,
really hated it when it came to that,
because I could never talk-- - Okay, chill.
It's fine.
There's no timeline on coming out.
Also, we just started dating, so it's cool.
I got you.
- Okay, thanks.
One more thing--my dad also orders a dirty martini
in a very uncomfortable way,
so I do just wanna get ahead of that.
- I will prepare myself. - Yeah, you should.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I know I'm constantly complaining,
but it's freezing in here.
You want my hoodie? - Uh, no, I'm good.
- You have goosebumps.
Here.
- Oh, you don't have to take it--
- It's fine.
- Thank you.
That's very nice.
I love how quiet it is up here.
- ♪ Who that pressing on me ♪
- Hurry up before someone comes.
- You're seriously telling me to hurry up right now?
- [chuckles]
- ♪ Who your baby mama ♪
- Whitney?
- Canaan! - Oh, shit!
I'm s--I'm sorry. I jus--I came--
I came to get a book about--
Ronald Reagan. - Yeah.
- Yup, and I got it,
so you're good--so... - Okay.
- I'ma go.
- Sounds great.
Fuck.
- What are you-- pull your pants up.
- Oh, we're stopping for sure? - Yeah, we're done.
- Okay, yeah, got it.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ It's okay to let my pain go ♪
♪ I dance for one ♪
[camera shutter clicks] - Doesn't this party
look so fucking good? I've really outdone myself.
- Damn, Bela, where'd you get all of that?
- I conned a grad student into buying it for me.
All I had to do was pay him double the cost of the alcohol.
What a deal, right? - Uh...
- Oh... - Hey, how do I look?
Priya texted and said that she'll try and be here soon.
both: Ooh...
- She said "try"?
As someone who loves to bail on things,
that's something I would say a lot.
- Oh, she might be superhot
and look like a mean girl now,
but trust me, she wouldn't just
blow me off like that.
Come on. We've been friends
for, like, ten years now.
She'll be here.
- You guys goin' to this party in the woods?
Priya just texted me it's poppin' off!
- What the hell? She's bailing on my party
and texting you? How'd she even get your number?
You won't even give it to me. - Uh, we just clicked.
We're both the hottest of our siblings.
You wouldn't understand.
- That's it. I'm goin' to the woods.
- Okay, well, I guess we're going.
- I'm not gonna miss this. She's gonna go slap
a little girl in the woods.
[laughter]
- Tatum, your dad in college
was the king of pranks-- the king of pranks.
He used to do this thing where he would put shaving cream
in our shoes. - Yup, I called it creamy toes.
- Right! [both laughing]
You're literally the funniest person I've ever met.
I'm gonna order another drink. - Mm.
- 'Scuse me. Hi, may I have another
dirty martini, please? But this one, I'd like to be
extra dirty.
Like, filthy dirty.
[laughs] Like, I want this martini
to be ashamed of itself. - [laughs]
- He gets it. - You haven't changed a bit,
Murray. - Oh, come on.
- Well, this dinner has been great.
Um, but what if we just go ahead and, like, box this up,
and then I can go home and get all my math homework done?
- Oh, honey. - Damn, raised yourself
a real nerd here. [both laugh]
Uh-oh, nerd alert. - Okay...
- Tatum, you should find a smart girl like her.
- Well, I am trying. - Yeah?
Well, what about that girl, Lydia?
I miss her. - Oh, God, no.
Do not miss Lydia.
Her personality was as ugly as her name.
- Mean, but fair. [laughs]
Okay, not a looker, not a looker.
- Hey, I gotta say, guys, I think this is so cool
that you guys can just talk about dating like this.
Like, I ask Leighton anything about her dating life,
and she just ices me out. - Oh.
- That's not true. - [laughs] It is true.
I've asked you a million times. You are a closed book.
- [scoffs] Okay, well, that is because I c--
[clears throat]
- 'Cause what?
- I'm gay.
I'm gay, and, um, I've actually been dating Tatum.
- What? - It's true.
- We've been going on dates. We've been on, like,
three dates-- like four, if you include
this insanely weird dinner with our dads.
But yeah, I'm gay. I'm gonna order a drink.
- Okay, uh, cool.
Yeah, cool.
Will you excuse me for just a second?
- Are you--
[music playing distantly]
- It's late to be playing music out here.
I hope it's not disrupting the nocturnal creatures
who call these woods home.
- Oh, damn, this party looks great--
way better than the one you threw, Bela.
♪ ♪
- Priya, what the hell? - What are you doing here?
I love this fit. - I have to talk to you.
- Uh--what?
- I can't believe you ditched the very cool party
I threw for you. I invited, like, 200 people,
and I only know, like, 25 of them.
I even got you George Clooney tequila.
- I didn't ask you to do that. - Well, you've changed,
and it's not just 'cause you're hotter with bigger tits
and perfect complexion and lip fillers.
- I didn't get lip fillers. Those are just my lips.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
- That's amazing. - Stunning.
- Thank you. - I'd love some beauty tips.
But later. You two keep fighting.
- Bela, I'm sorry for ditching you, but I just--
I wanted to be around people
who didn't make me feel like the loser I used to be.
The first thing you did when I got here was
tell your roommates a story that made me sound like
a giant nerd. - Oh, I didn't realize...
- I'm trying to reinvent myself.
I thought you of all people would understand that.
I wanna feel good about myself and, like, kiss a boy
and post a cute picture of him
to make mean girls back home jealous.
- I get that. I guess I was just worried
that you're, like, so cool now
that you'd, like, leave me behind.
- Are you kidding?
Bela, I'm coming to Essex for you, okay?
I have always looked up to you.
- Fuck. Come here.
- Okay. [both laugh]
I love you. - I love you too.
Guess I'll just head back to the party then.
- Okay. I will be seeing you
back there though, okay?
I'm just gonna make out with Graham first.
- Yeah, you will. - Yeah, girl!
You go get that young tongue. [flicking tongue]
- Come on, let's give her some space.
- Do you guys think we should make
an anonymous call to the fire marshal?
- Hell no. - These open flames
are very dangerous.
- Hey, Dad, you okay?
- Yeah.
Yeah, of course, honey.
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to add
any more stress to your life.
I know that there's a lot going on.
- No, honey, don't apologize, please.
That's not why I--
Leighton, I love you.
My reaction was about me.
I was just shocked, you know?
And the fact that I didn't see this coming,
I don't know what that says about me as a parent.
- It might mean that I'm just really good at being closeted.
[both chuckling]
- Yeah, I don't know. Is that a good thing?
- Yeah, no, no, probably not.
- Are you happy?
- That is a big question.
[chuckles] But in terms of who I am
and my sexuality,
yes.
Yes, I am.
- Well, I'm so happy you told me,
and I'm so proud of you.
For what it's worth, I really like Tatum for you.
- Oh, you do not have to say that.
- No, I really do. When you look at her, you smile
with your teeth and everything.
That's your tell, kiddo. - Oh, my...
- You can't ignore that. - Ha!
I will not be discussing gay dating with my dad.
- Oh, yes, you will.
I'm gonna be calling you every week.
- ♪ I like the way you're moving to the rhythm ♪
♪ Like you go on up ♪
- Oh, wait, how did ending things with Andrew go?
Was he upset?
- Not really--
mostly because I didn't end things,
then we had sex in the library.
[both scream] - In the library?
- Mm-hmm.
And then Canaan walked in. [both gasp]
- Whoa. - Holy shit.
- Hi. - Hey!
- Well, I did it.
I finally came out to my dad. [all cheer]
- Wait, how did it go? - Good, and he definitely
likes Tatum, maybe, like, a little too much.
- He invited me golfing. - He just assumed
she golfs because she's gay.
- And he was right.
- ♪ I'm having some trouble believing you ♪
♪ I'm hearing the drums just follow you ♪
- Whitney.
Nice to see you-- for the second time today, huh?
- Mm-hmm, okay, yeah, don't do that.
- You, uh, get any good studying in?
Read some new books? - Please do not make me
leave my own dorm party. I have nowhere else to go.
- So who's the guy?
- He's just some guy from class.
It's casual.
- Kay.
Well, casual looks good on you.
- Thank you.
♪ ♪
- ♪ I know they hatin', I know they talkin' ♪
♪ I call 'em tree bitches, they steady barkin' ♪
- There she is! Did you kiss that boy?
- I did! - [screams]
- He was really bad at it. - Most are.
- His tongue, like, darted in, and it just stayed there.
[both groan] - Been there.
Let's find you someone else. - No, no, no, no, no.
Not tonight. I wanna hang with you.
- Aw, that is so sweet.
Well, if that's the case, let's all work on finding
someone for me. I'm not picky as long as
he is perfect looking.
♪ ♪
- So I wanted to talk to you
about something. - Okay, what's up?
- I'm starting to think that we don't have a lot in common.
- Yeah.
You might be right, but...
I think it's good that we're different.
You don't spend time worrying
about how much you do and don't
have in common with your friends, do you?
- No. - So why would it be
an issue for us? I like learning new things
from you, like that podcast you told me about.
- You listened to the series on erosion?
- Yeah. It wasn't good to run to,
but it was eye-opening.
I'm just sayin' I don't wanna date someone
who's just like me. - You said "date."
Are we dating? - I think so.
Is that cool? - Yeah.
But I don't wanna watch wrestling with you.
The stories are so lazy. - Oh, those aren't stories.
Those are real.
- Oh... - [chuckles] I'm kidding.
I'm not an idiot. [both laugh]
["Are You All Alone?" by Lyrah]
- [giggles]
- ♪ I'm caught up in a loop ♪
♪ That I can't break ♪
♪ But I don't mind you on my mind ♪
♪ I-I-I-I can't slow ♪
[phone chimes]
♪ Watch you, watch me come undone ♪
♪ Hold on, you've got me ♪
♪ Throwing myself around ♪
♪ You know you've got me won ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You know you've got me won ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You know you've got me won ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm thinking about thinking about you ♪
♪ I-I-I-I ♪
♪ Can't slow how I'm falling ♪
♪ Watch you watch me come undone ♪
♪ Hold on, you've got me throwing myself around ♪
♪ You know you've got me won ♪
♪ Oh, oh, you've got me throwing myself around ♪
- Go to bed.