1 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,634 {\an8}That is the sexiest fucking thing I've ever heard. 2 00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:10,344 You had a one-night stand. 3 00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:13,139 I know. I've never done anything like that before. 4 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,307 You know those girls that are, like, confident? 5 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,475 -Yeah, I hate them. -Me, too. 6 00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:19,311 I just pretended to be one of them. 7 00:00:19,395 --> 00:00:23,107 Okay, I walked right up to him and decided to be that bitch! 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,442 I don't know. 9 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,902 I still think sex is better when it's with someone you love 10 00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,612 and it's an expression of your commitment. 11 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:31,407 -Ow! Damn it. -That is so boring, Kimberly. 12 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:33,534 I'm with you, Whitney. Sex is better with strangers. 13 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:34,577 End of story. 14 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,870 That is not what I said. 15 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:41,876 What? 16 00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:43,544 First of all, good morning. 17 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,963 And second of all, where were you last night? 18 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,799 Oh, my God. She had a one-night stand, too. 19 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,426 Fuck. I'm so lame. 20 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,094 Okay. You ditched us last night, 21 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:53,763 and you ignored 20 texts from Kimberly. 22 00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,639 And I'm on a limited data plan. 23 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,975 -They still have those? -Uh, yeah, they do. 24 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,144 And so now if someone texts me, what do I do? 25 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,105 I have to respond with an email or just hope that I run into them. 26 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,275 Okay. Look, I know that we are all roommates, 27 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,403 but that does not mean that I have to tell you where I'm going and what I'm doing. 28 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,697 Okay. We literally met, like, three days ago. 29 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,115 I don't even remember your last names. 30 00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:15,659 Well, my last name, it's Finkle. Kimberly Finkle. 31 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,453 And last night, Kimberly Finkle 32 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,997 was worried that Leighton Murray got human trafficked. 33 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,833 -Okay, Kim. -What? It happens. They snatch girls. 34 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,377 Okay. Okay, you're right. I get it. 35 00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:28,130 I understand that as a pretty blonde woman I am a target. 36 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:30,674 How did this become a compliment to you? 37 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:37,223 From now on, I will tell you when I am not coming home. 38 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,850 But no more details beyond that, okay? 39 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:41,644 No, I will not agree to that. 40 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,854 I came to college to hear about my roommates' sexploits. 41 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:44,980 So sit down and tell us 42 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:46,607 -who was inside you. -Ugh! 43 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,775 -Bela. -No. 44 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,527 Why am I only one fun one around here? 45 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,837 I'm so excited that classes are finally starting. 46 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,382 Oh, God. You were, like, valedictorian or some shit, weren't you? 47 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:15,261 I was, and the salutatorian's GPA wasn't even close. 48 00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:17,054 What classes are you taking? 49 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,389 I literally don't even know. 50 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,349 I just signed up with anything that started with intro. 51 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:21,308 Mmm. 52 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:23,811 Oh! I'm over there. I'll catch you later, okay? Bye. 53 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:46,500 -Oh! Hi, Leighton's brother, Nico! -Hey. 54 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,170 -Good morning. -Morning. Happy FDOC! 55 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,130 Huh? 56 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,549 -First day of classes. -Oh. Right. 57 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,176 So, how was the rest of your night? 58 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,720 It got kind of nuts. 59 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:58,679 Nice. 60 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:01,807 Yeah. I drank way too much and woke up somewhere I... 61 00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:04,685 definitely shouldn't have been. You know how it goes. 62 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,645 Yeah, for sure. I'm always doing that. 63 00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:08,105 I never wake up in my own bed. 64 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:12,067 Oh, shit. Are you taking French Revolution and Romanticism? 65 00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,235 I am. Are you? 66 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,778 -No, I did last year. -Oh. 67 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,364 Our class was legit though. You must really like French. 68 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,199 I do. It's kind of my best subject. 69 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,826 In high school, I won a certificate 70 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,995 that was signed by the Lieutenant Governor of Arizona. 71 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,038 No big deal. 72 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,414 All right. 73 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,708 -Well, I better go. -Okay. 74 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:32,546 -Hey, Happy FDOC. -You remembered. 75 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,111 Hello? 76 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,864 Go Foxes, go 77 00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:04,703 Fight on for Essex, shout it out loud 78 00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:05,746 Okay. I'm hanging up. 79 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:08,082 - My daughter she goes to Essex. - - Okay, bye. 80 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,417 No, no, no, don't hang up. Don't hang up. How are you? 81 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,002 Are you loving it or what? 82 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,130 - Yeah, I don't know, it's fine. - - What do you mean "fine"? 83 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:16,674 Honey, this is your first week of college. 84 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,636 It's, like, probably the best seven days of your whole life. 85 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:21,595 What are you talking about? 86 00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:23,555 Did you make up with Esme and Francesca yet? 87 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:25,849 What? No. No, I don't even think about them anymore. 88 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,644 They can live their lives, and I can live mine. 89 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,562 Well, that's great, honey. I'm glad. 90 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:33,816 What else? Have you met any cute boys or what? 91 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,651 Yeah, a few. 92 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,320 I'm actually already pregnant, and I have no idea who the father is. 93 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:42,324 Honey, no, no, no. What do we say about that joke? 94 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,201 It is a joke, right? 95 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,579 Look, I gotta go. But I love you, okay? 96 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:48,664 Okay. I love you, too. 97 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,165 But seriously, you were joking, right? 98 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,875 Seriously, please don't get pregnant. 99 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,676 Yeah! Aww... 100 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,061 Esme, Esme's roommate. 101 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,521 Leighton, wait. 102 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:13,605 How have you been? 103 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,733 Francesca and I were worried about you. 104 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,776 I have been amazing. 105 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:20,070 Actually, my new roommates are phenomenal. 106 00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,196 We all get along so well. 107 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,073 Um, would you like to sit with us? 108 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,159 Oh, that's so sweet. 109 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:28,203 But, actually, a bunch of new friends I made are saving me a seat. 110 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,163 Hi! 111 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:30,414 Hey. 112 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,542 Yeah, they're so cute. But thank you. 113 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,296 Well, I'm happy you're doing well. 114 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,131 Same. Same to you. 115 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,632 I'll see you both at graduation. 116 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,009 If you make it. 117 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,055 Welcome to Math 350. 118 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:50,059 We're gonna start today off with a quick assessment test. 119 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,019 Yay. 120 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,023 All right, nice pass. 121 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,233 Switch it. Jena to Whitney. 122 00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,485 Come on, get clear! 123 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,195 Nice! 124 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:02,446 Here. 125 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,241 That's you, Jena! That's you! 126 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:07,659 -Go, go, go! -I'm here! 127 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,078 Here. 128 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,245 Here. 129 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:13,791 Oof! 130 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,209 Motherfucker! 131 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:16,794 Sorry. 132 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,088 My bad. 133 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,839 The hell kind of a shot was that? 134 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:21,799 I was open. 135 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,889 You have a fucking wife? 136 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,224 Okay, I swear I was going to tell you. 137 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,308 When Dalton? When? 138 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,852 When we were fucking on your sofa or when we were fucking in your car? 139 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,522 It's complicated. Michelle and I have been having problems. 140 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:37,648 -It's-- -Oh, you have? 141 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,983 Oh, my God. Is one of you cheating? 142 00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:42,361 -I'm trying to be honest with you. -Oh, you want honesty. 143 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,488 Okay, you're a fucking creep. I'm a fucking catch. 144 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:45,614 Never speak to me again. 145 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:46,782 Whitney, please stop. 146 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,826 Michelle and I haven't slept together in months. 147 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,994 We're barely married anymore. Okay? 148 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,080 I think what you and I have is real. 149 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,164 Please don't throw it away 150 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,542 because I haven't found the right time to end things with her. 151 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,085 Do whatever you want. You and I are done. 152 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,294 Can you please just not-- 153 00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:01,213 And this better not affect my playing time. 154 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,256 Okay. 155 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,509 Fuck. 156 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:08,387 Bonjour. 157 00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:10,013 Bonjour. 158 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,186 {\an8}Hello everyone, welcome. 159 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:17,980 {\an8}We are going to study 160 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,149 {\an8}the French Revolution and Romanticism. 161 00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:21,525 {\an8}I'm sorry I was late. 162 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,777 {\an8}Or as the French call it, 163 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:25,154 {\an8}...half an hour early. 164 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:32,452 {\an8}So let's start by introducing ourselves and what we did this summer. 165 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,329 {\an8}My name is Ian, 166 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,956 {\an8}and I spent this summer in Paris 167 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,916 {\an8}where I studied at the Sorbonne 168 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,295 {\an8}and volunteered on the restoration of Notre Dame. 169 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,546 {\an8}Very good. 170 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,047 {\an8}My name is Tyra, 171 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:48,051 {\an8}and I interned with an environmental activist group in San Francisco. 172 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:51,722 {\an8}Nancy Pelosi called our ideas "revolutionary" 173 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,224 {\an8}and she even tweeted a picture with us. 174 00:07:57,394 --> 00:08:00,272 {\an8}Hi. My name is Kimberly Finkel. 175 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,525 {\an8}This summer... I worked... 176 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,195 {\an8}at Groomingdales. 177 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,446 {\an8}It's a... 178 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,489 {\an8}How do you say "dog kennel"? 179 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:13,702 {\an8}...and store for grooming. 180 00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:20,459 {\an8}I was in charge of sweeping up the nails. 181 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:24,004 {\an8}I cut the dogs' nails... 182 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:28,300 {\an8}super great, cutting the dogs' nails, super. 183 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:31,720 {\an8}Okay. 184 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:35,390 {\an8}I was a French translator at the Tokyo Olympics... 185 00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,101 {\an8}Kimberly. 186 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,395 {\an8}Everything okay, professor? 187 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,024 I think this class is too advanced for you. 188 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:45,525 I suggest that you drop it. 189 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:46,610 What? 190 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:50,239 But French is my best subject. I know I didn't do great today, 191 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,366 but I can catch up. I'm sure of it. 192 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,326 Well, ultimately, the decision is yours. 193 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:58,538 But I promise I am suggesting this because it is best for you. 194 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:00,374 You're not ready. 195 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,970 Welcome to the Catullan. 196 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,931 You eight should be proud of yourselves for making it through the first cut. 197 00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:16,974 You're officially funny. 198 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,310 Or at least marginally funnier than the unfunny people who we've already cut. 199 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,520 Hi, Bela Malhotra. 200 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:22,604 I've been working on this piece 201 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,190 where Billie Eilish raps the warranty page of a printer manual. 202 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,817 -It goes like this-- -I'm sorry, 203 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,778 were our unspoken rules not clear enough here? 204 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,613 New members aren't allowed to pitch yet. 205 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,533 For the next six weeks you'll be interning as our support staff. 206 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:38,370 If I want barkTHINS and a mocha, you will get me barkTHINS and a mocha. 207 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,372 And don't be cute and try to write a funny name on my cup. 208 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,331 You will be cut. 209 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,001 -I'm confused. Are we not writers? -Not yet. 210 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,836 Those of you who are still round in October 211 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,796 will submit your final pieces for consideration. 212 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,590 For now, let's celebrate your small recent accomplishment 213 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:53,844 and the long unrelenting road ahead with a little bit of snacks and chitchat. 214 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,690 Hey, Evangeline, can I talk to you for a moment? 215 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,985 -Sure. I'll catch up with you guys later. -Yeah. 216 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,990 Hey, um, I know you and I got off on the wrong foot, 217 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,743 and I don't want things to be weird between us. 218 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:20,203 I sent you an email apologizing. Did you get it? 219 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,497 I did. I thought I wrote you back. 220 00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:25,000 Maybe it got stuck in my outbox. It happens. 221 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,336 Ugh. Yep, it did. 222 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,130 Here. Just sent it. 223 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,012 Did you get it? 224 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,514 -I did. -Great. 225 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,361 Hey, so what did you guys think of your first day of classes? 226 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,989 Like was it easier than you expected? Or harder? Or like, way harder? 227 00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,032 Easier. 228 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:58,700 Easier? Not harder? 229 00:10:58,909 --> 00:10:59,785 Easier. 230 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,454 Yeah, I know. I thought this place was supposed to be hard. 231 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,999 But my public school education definitely prepared me for it. Definitely. 232 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,501 I'm gonna go do my homework, 233 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,336 and I'll probably be done in, like, four seconds. 234 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,922 But, you know, you just gotta laugh, right? 235 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,257 It's just-- it's funny. 236 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:19,763 -Was that weird? -Hmm? 237 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,598 No, I wasn't really listening. 238 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:34,945 Ms. Murray, can I talk to you about yesterday's assessment test? 239 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:38,407 Before you say anything, you should know that my father did pay for this building. 240 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,700 Okay. Noted. 241 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:44,704 What I was going to say is that you got the highest score in the class. 242 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:48,875 -Wait, really? I did the best? -Yeah. 243 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,045 Wow. I mean, I would have thought everyone did well. 244 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,880 It was so stupid and easy. 245 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,590 Okay, well, that's kind of insulting. 246 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:59,469 Regardless, you need to be in a much higher level class. 247 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:03,598 Also, I want to increase the number of women in my seminar to one. 248 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,517 So would you consider moving up? 249 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,188 Sure. On one condition. 250 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,399 Based on yesterday's placement test, 251 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:17,404 one extraordinary student has been selected to join my advanced section. 252 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:21,283 And that student is Leighton Murray. 253 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,370 She is a charming and dynamic young woman 254 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:27,998 who seems like a wonderful friend 255 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:29,791 who you'd hate to lose. 256 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:33,462 Now, we know that she is objectively 257 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,547 the smartest person here. 258 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,299 Congrats, Leighton, 259 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:41,511 #ontobiggerandbetterthings. 260 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,607 Hey, Jena, I love those toe shoes. 261 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:54,691 Hey, Willow. 262 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:59,112 Damn. That look she gave you was true hatred. 263 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,280 I would have cried. 264 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,741 -What are you up to tonight? -Nothing. 265 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,993 I'm doing nothing in my apartment by myself. 266 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,953 Willow, why are you being weird? 267 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,372 -I am not being weird. -You're totally being weird. 268 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,332 What's going on? 269 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,835 I'm going to Jena's house with the rest of the team. 270 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,505 Are you serious? She invited everyone but me? 271 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,591 No, no, she did not. She also didn't invite Brittany. 272 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,468 -Who's Brittany? -She's studying abroad. 273 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:23,929 Don't worry. 274 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,432 I'll go tonight and talk of how chill you are. 275 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:28,725 I'll fix this. 276 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,436 -Okay. Thank you. -Okay. 277 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,899 I don't know, man. 278 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,902 I just thought college would be a lot more fun and crazy than it's been so far. 279 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,445 -Yeah? -I've been here six days, 280 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,822 I've made multiple enemies, and I've had zero three-way kisses. 281 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,157 What are you talking about? 282 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:48,995 I mean, two weeks ago, I was in Ohio, and tonight, I'm going to a naked party. 283 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,664 Not many of those in Akron. 284 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,666 I'm sorry. What? 285 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,167 Oh. Akron's a city in Ohio. 286 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,961 Bitch, you know that's not the detail I want. 287 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,882 Oh, my God. Travis, this is looking so good. 288 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,801 - Yeah. - What is going on in here? 289 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:03,969 It smells awful. 290 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,929 Yeah, Travis is contouring my body. 291 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,098 He's using makeup to suddenly enhance my banging bod. 292 00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:10,642 -It's impressive, right? -Yeah. Nobody has that many abs. 293 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,895 Yeah, those lines are way too dark. All right, you look like a xylophone. 294 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,356 Check yourself. These are professional grade tools 295 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,024 that I bought, gently used on eBay. 296 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:19,943 But why are you doing this? 297 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,904 Because I'm going to a naked party. 298 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:26,408 -To a what? -Okay. So you're going to an orgy? 299 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,577 No. It's not an orgy. It's a normal party. 300 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:32,080 Except with naked people. And I'm not going to it, we're going to it. 301 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:34,165 Travis, could you move to my back while I address my roommates? 302 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:39,045 I have come up with undeniable reasons why each of you should join me and party nude. 303 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:40,338 Leighton, you're first. 304 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,591 You are not going to convince me to go. 305 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,426 -I'm gonna head out. -Where are you going? 306 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,303 I'm sorry. Did I forget to mention where I was going? 307 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,555 Right, I didn't. Because it's not of your business. 308 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:49,931 Bye. 309 00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:51,641 Savage. 310 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,105 -Whitney Chase. -Yeah, I can't make it. 311 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,857 Why is everyone opposed to this party? 312 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,192 Because it sounds weird, Bela. 313 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,487 Fine. Kimberly, it's just us two. 314 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,447 Mmm. 315 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,908 Men have objectified women's bodies for tens if not hundreds of years. 316 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:11,494 Bela, I'm sorry. I can't make time for this. 317 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,913 -Why can't you make time for this? -I just can't. 318 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:14,873 Wh... 319 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,461 Why is there a tan assprint on our couch? 320 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,797 What you should be asking is, "Why aren't there four?" 321 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,513 Whitney Yo, what's going on with Jena's party? 322 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,683 I'm turning down a lot of hot offers for tonight!! 323 00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,563 Willow - Spoke to Jena. Not gonna happen. Maybe by next season she won't hate you? 324 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:41,024 What? Ugh! 325 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,573 {\an8}God, you're so much hotter than your profile. 326 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,743 -It's like a reverse catfish. -Thanks. 327 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:57,332 I'm so sorry. Does this car seat come out? It's really digging into my boob. 328 00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,835 -Oh! It's like a whole thing to remove it. -It's fine. 329 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,299 Hey, do you go to Essex? 330 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,427 H-How did you know that? 331 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,054 Uh, your keychain. 332 00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,226 What's wrong? Are you not out? 333 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,185 No, I'm-- 334 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,230 I'm sorry, how is that any of your business? 335 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,107 I didn't mean anything by it, I'm just surprised. 336 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,484 I thought kids your age came out when they're like six years old. 337 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,444 -Isn't it cool to be gay now? -Oh, my God. 338 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:28,988 Did I upset you? 339 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:33,118 No. It's just-- you have no idea what you are talking about. 340 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,621 -When did you come out? -In high school. 341 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,500 So, for someone like you, I'm sure coming out probably made you more interesting. 342 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,210 But for me, I was popular. 343 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,878 So I actually have something to lose. 344 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,423 It's hard to find the courage to come out. 345 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,841 But it's worth it. 346 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,050 Maybe for you. 347 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,386 I don't want being gay to be my identity. 348 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:52,595 I like my identity. 349 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,390 I don't wanna be the gay Kappa girl or the lesbian cousin. 350 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:58,601 I don't wanna be other. Yeah, I just wanna be me. 351 00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,644 Mmm. 352 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,396 -By hiding who you are? -No, and-- 353 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:03,440 I came here to hook up, 354 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,234 not to be lectured by some suburban mom in a bad cardigan. 355 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,195 Uh, excuse you? I'm just trying to help. 356 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,074 {\an8}Kimberly, you are well at French. 357 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,492 {\an8}I mean... good, good at French. 358 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,703 -Hello, Kimberly. -I bought this tea at a store. 359 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,455 -I don't have a hot plate. -It's okay. 360 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,832 I was just doing my Friday night sweep, 361 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,333 looking for opioids. 362 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,878 I didn't expect anyone to be here. 363 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,922 Oh, I'm taking advantage of the quiet to study. 364 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:30,717 On a Friday night? You should be out with friends. 365 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,136 It's okay. I'll go out another night. 366 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:37,766 Kimberly, the first week of school is when people find their friends. 367 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,267 My first weekend, 368 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,603 I skipped the Swedish Mid-September party. 369 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,063 That was when they found the inside joke 370 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,566 they would be utilizing for the next four years. 371 00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:49,694 And I still don't know who Radish Face is. 372 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,448 I fear it may be me. 373 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,992 Well, I can't be the only one staying in tonight. 374 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:59,954 I believe you are. Well, if you get lonely or have dark thoughts 375 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,499 come over and we could play a board game. 376 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:06,169 It is my job to be available for people like you. 377 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,178 Wait for me! I'm coming! 378 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,806 I deserve to have some fun! 379 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,474 -Ooh! -Yes! 380 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:20,517 Let's go. 381 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,393 Yo, we're gonna see each other's tits tonight. 382 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,829 Wassup, bitches? 383 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,082 What are you doing here? 384 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,417 I realized I'm not just gonna sit at home 385 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,670 because one girl doesn't want me here for no reason. 386 00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,797 There is a reason, she doesn't like you. 387 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,384 Well, she is definitely gonna like me after I give her this. 388 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,511 A basket of lavender soaps and hand creams? 389 00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,680 She's the co-captain of the team, not your great aunt. 390 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,932 This is nice. It has bath crystals in it. 391 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,768 -Mmm-mmm. -Whatever. Okay. I'm gonna go find Jena, 392 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:06,354 make her my best friend and replace you. 393 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:09,315 I'm your best friend? You've known me for like four weeks. 394 00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:13,653 Tragic. 395 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,409 I said I was sorry, I don't make the schedules. 396 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,910 It's like I don't even have a girlfriend. 397 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,745 -I'm done. -Please stop. Don't do this. Jason-- 398 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,748 What the fuck? Why are you in my room? 399 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,458 I brought you some soaps. 400 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,929 So how does this work? 401 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:42,682 Do we just take our clothes off and go inside? 402 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:43,725 I guess. 403 00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:59,991 This just got so real so quick, I don't think I can do this. 404 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,076 Fuck it, I'm going in! 405 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:06,873 Oh, my God, Jocelyn, you have like perfect Keira Knightley boobs. 406 00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:09,959 Well, I'll see you inside? 407 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,089 Hoo! 408 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,887 - Well? - Same time? 409 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,139 Same time. 410 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,277 Okay. 411 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:37,987 Let's go. 412 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,244 - I don't even know. - No, he went down the lane. 413 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,579 -He went down the whole lane. -Holy shit. 414 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,706 Guys, stop. Hey, Leighton. 415 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,667 -Oh, hey. -What's up? 416 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,961 Are you, like, alone? 417 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,713 -Yeah. -But it's a Friday night. 418 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,466 Yeah, I know it's Friday. Maybe I'm going somewhere really fun. 419 00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:00,468 -Are you? -No. 420 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:02,387 Look, Leight, 421 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:06,599 just because those girls don't wanna live with you doesn't make you a loser. 422 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,726 Yo, what they did was not cool. 423 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,103 You told them? 424 00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:11,437 Yeah, of course I did. 425 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,189 I mean, that was really fucked up. 426 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,817 Yeah, for what it's worth, we all felt so bad for you. 427 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,821 Okay. Well, this was horrible, 428 00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:24,242 and I'm gonna go drink until I forget this conversation ever happened. 429 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:27,453 Leighton. Leighton. You're gonna make friends soon, I know it. 430 00:21:27,537 --> 00:21:29,789 Everything you're saying is making it worse, thank you. 431 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,499 Damn. She must be really hurting. 432 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,334 Wanna go throw knives at trees? 433 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,378 -Yup. -Let's fucking go. 434 00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,265 Hey, I don't think you realize it, 435 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:49,684 but you're aggressively cupping your breasts in shame. 436 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,937 Yes. You're right. I am doing that. 437 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,356 I'm fixing it now. Here we go. 438 00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:57,984 Uhh... 439 00:21:59,027 --> 00:21:59,944 I'm proud of you. 440 00:22:00,862 --> 00:22:01,821 Ready to mingle? 441 00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:02,864 Yeah. 442 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:06,367 Which group of butts looks more approachable, the right or the left? 443 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:10,163 The right butts look kinder but I don't know what I'm basing that on. 444 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,915 -Yeah, no, I agree. Right butts for sure. -Uh-huh. 445 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:13,916 Let's go. 446 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,462 Hannah is on the Lip Mag? 447 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,880 Hello, everybody! 448 00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:22,717 So embarrassing that we all wore the same outfit, right? 449 00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:24,802 Is this your first naked party? 450 00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,055 No. Why would you say that? 451 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:30,558 Because you looked down at everyone's junk, multiple times. 452 00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:33,019 Naked parties are about being comfortable in your skin, 453 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,896 not objectifying, catching a peek. 454 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:36,939 Oh, no doubt, no doubt, I know that. 455 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:40,735 -I just looked down again, didn't I? -Yeah. 456 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,615 So we're not even supposed to look? 457 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:48,076 What is this, a naked party under Taliban rule? 458 00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:50,620 Why are you two hanging out alone like a bunch of creeps? 459 00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:52,497 People think you're cops. 460 00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:54,123 -Ugh! -Maybe we should just go. 461 00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:56,876 I thought this would be the amazing, unforgettable party I've been waiting for, 462 00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:58,544 but that's obviously not the case. 463 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:03,508 No. We are gonna stay, and we are gonna make the most of it. 464 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:04,759 Together. Jocelyn. 465 00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:06,719 You seem so comfortable. 466 00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:08,012 How can we be more like you? 467 00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:10,139 I pre-gamed a lot, so I'm crazy drunk. 468 00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:12,809 Okay. 469 00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:13,893 Here we go. 470 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,992 Okay, well, there's a gift receipt in the basket. 471 00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:31,452 You have 14 days. 472 00:23:34,497 --> 00:23:35,623 Are you okay? 473 00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,708 My fucking boyfriend just broke up with me. 474 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:40,461 He can't handle our soccer schedule. 475 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,130 He says I'm never around, 476 00:23:42,380 --> 00:23:44,924 like my life should revolve around hanging out in his frat basement 477 00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,301 while he and his friends flick each other in the nuts. 478 00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:48,803 Sounds like a real winner. 479 00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,180 You don't fucking know him. His dog just died. 480 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:52,557 I should not have said that. 481 00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:54,767 It's okay. 482 00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:56,686 He does suck. 483 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:59,939 It's just... Not like guys are lining up for me. 484 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:03,818 -Jena, what? You're so pretty. -Oh, fuck you. 485 00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:07,405 You are. You're tall, you're ripped, and you're, like, so good at soccer. 486 00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:09,991 That's why it kills me that you don't like me. 487 00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:13,161 So look, if this guy doesn't get that, fuck him, move on. 488 00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,079 There's plenty of guys out there. 489 00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:17,373 Thanks. 490 00:24:19,167 --> 00:24:20,626 So are we good now? 491 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:23,963 Because I'd love it, if you stopped kicking the shit out of me on the field. 492 00:24:25,006 --> 00:24:26,841 Yeah. We're good. 493 00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:28,885 But you're wrong about one thing. 494 00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:31,971 There aren't many guys our age who can handle being with girls like us. 495 00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:34,140 So, good luck finding one. 496 00:24:38,686 --> 00:24:41,147 I mean, come on, it's a naked party. 497 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,065 Everybody looks at everybody. 498 00:24:43,316 --> 00:24:45,109 You just can't look like you're looking. 499 00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:48,613 Like right now, I just glanced at your boobs three times. 500 00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:51,157 No, you did not. You were looking at my eyes. 501 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,035 I micro-glanced, the left one's bigger. 502 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,746 Holy hell, she's right, your left one is bigger. 503 00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,333 Hey. Do any of you know where a girl named Sarah is? 504 00:25:01,459 --> 00:25:02,752 -No. -Sorry. 505 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:03,961 I don't. 506 00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:06,923 -Did you see that? -Wow! 507 00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:08,174 Micro-glance. 508 00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:11,260 I'm gonna get a drink. 509 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:19,352 What the hell? 510 00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:21,354 Oh. Of course, it's you. 511 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:22,855 You know what? No. 512 00:25:22,939 --> 00:25:24,315 You spilled my drink. 513 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,734 And I'm sorry about that. But I already know where this is going. 514 00:25:26,817 --> 00:25:29,111 You're gonna say something mean to me and make me feel bad about myself. 515 00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:33,407 I'm a good person. Did I jerk your boyfriend's dick? I did. 516 00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:36,077 But if I knew he had a girlfriend, I wouldn't have done it. 517 00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:39,080 Please stop being mean to me. I'm sorry. 518 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:41,707 Come over here. 519 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:48,172 I know I've been less than kind. 520 00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:51,050 It's because I fought super hard for you in the first cut. 521 00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:54,595 Staff was split about your submission and people preferred this guy, 522 00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:57,682 but I thought your stuff was funny, so I pushed for you, 523 00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:00,601 which then made me look like an idiot when everyone found out 524 00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:03,938 that the girl I supported had a jack fest with my boyf the night before. 525 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,024 -You liked my submission? -It was pretty solid. 526 00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:09,986 -Pretty solid? -You're a first year, take it easy. 527 00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:13,489 So wait, can we just please be good now? 528 00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:17,243 -I don't want you to hate me. -Yeah. We can be good. 529 00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:19,245 I think I need to hug you. 530 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,001 Oh, jeez, my abs rubbed off on you. 531 00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,919 Hmm. My boob contour got on you, too. 532 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:30,339 We both contoured? I love us. 533 00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:41,475 -Hey. -Hey. 534 00:26:44,395 --> 00:26:45,271 This will be quick. 535 00:26:45,896 --> 00:26:47,898 Oh, shit. You're wasted. 536 00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:51,777 Nico, at the naked party, I had an epiphany. 537 00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:58,451 You are going to French tutor me in French, please? 538 00:26:58,701 --> 00:27:01,162 You're asking me to tutor you at 1:00 in the morning? 539 00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,121 Mmm-hmm. 540 00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:06,125 Sure. I'll tutor you. 541 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,126 Oh! 542 00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:09,295 Excellent. And I appreciate it. 543 00:27:10,588 --> 00:27:11,505 Goodnight. 544 00:27:12,757 --> 00:27:13,632 That's it? 545 00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:16,427 That'll be all, tutor. Thank you. 546 00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:32,610 Hello, John. Your hat looks stupid and the school you founded sucks. 547 00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,738 And I'm sorry you died in the snow. 548 00:27:40,284 --> 00:27:42,078 - Hello? - - Hey, it's Chloe. 549 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:43,037 Who? 550 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,289 You had my nipples in your mouth in a minivan today. 551 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,709 What do you want? What, did you not sufficiently lecture me in your car? 552 00:27:48,793 --> 00:27:50,544 I'm just calling to check in on you. 553 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,296 I could tell you're in a really bad place, 554 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:55,174 and I just wanted to say that it gets better. 555 00:27:55,383 --> 00:27:57,760 Oh, my God. Are you fucking serious? 556 00:27:58,052 --> 00:28:01,347 You're "it gets bettering" me? Yeah, no. I am fine. 557 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:04,058 You drive a Ford Windstar. You get better. 558 00:28:04,725 --> 00:28:07,978 I mean, my life is great. Why is everyone fucking pitying me? 559 00:28:08,062 --> 00:28:09,188 Have you seen me? 560 00:28:09,438 --> 00:28:13,150 I'm smart, stylish, and as it turns out, I'm really fucking good at math. 561 00:28:13,234 --> 00:28:14,568 I'm thriving. 562 00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:15,986 But you're living a lie. 563 00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:18,572 Yeah, I know! You don't think I fucking know that? 564 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,662 I'm thriving! 565 00:28:26,205 --> 00:28:28,249 Stop right there! Don't move! 566 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:31,210 - Fuck! - Hey, I said stop! 567 00:28:31,669 --> 00:28:32,878 Go around! Go around! 568 00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:34,380 Stop running!