1 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,385 (Bela screams) 2 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,095 {\an8}Holy shit! 3 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,680 {\an8}How are you not freaking out? 4 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,349 {\an8}I am. I just freak out in a quieter way than you do. 5 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,726 -Give me my phone. -(squeals) 6 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,477 What the hell is going on? 7 00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:21,856 Bela, this better not be about another pic of Pete Davidson in sweatpants. 8 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:24,525 I can't believe I'm saying this but it's actually better than that. 9 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,569 Look at what Nico commented on Kimberly's pic. 10 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:30,364 "That dress, though." Eye-bugging emoji. 11 00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:32,283 Oh, damn. He wants to fuck you. 12 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,409 That's what I said. 13 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,077 No, I don't think that's true. 14 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:36,370 Wait, has Leighton seen this? 15 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,998 No, she's made it very clear she does not follow me on social media. 16 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,124 -Me too. -Same. 17 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,667 And please don't tell her. She gets mad at me 18 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,753 when I touch her sweaters, let alone her brother. 19 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,629 So are you going to reply to him? 20 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,631 I thought I'd write back something cute. 21 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,216 Like, I could say, 22 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,593 "That comment though." 23 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,595 Stop. No, that's bad. 24 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:53,929 Here's what you do. 25 00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:55,181 Send him a picture. 26 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,600 Something tasteful, like pulling the top of your shirt 27 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,518 way down with your middle finger. 28 00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:01,562 Bela, too much. 8:00 a.m. 29 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:02,521 (laughs) 30 00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:04,356 Oh, my God. He just deleted it. 31 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,733 -What the fuck? -Hey, what? 32 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,902 He deleted the comment. It's gone. 33 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,236 Is this bad? 34 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:12,490 Like, maybe he decided he doesn't like that dress, though? 35 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,116 I mean, it doesn't seem good. 36 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,201 Hold up. 37 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,870 Nico deleting the comment is a good thing. 38 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,956 It means that not only was he into your picture, wank, wank, 39 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,042 but he thought about it enough 40 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,336 to actually come back to it again later. 41 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,837 He's basically obsessed with you. 42 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:29,340 Wow. Bela may actually have a point. 43 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,675 -Mmm-hmm. -You know what? No. 44 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:35,262 I will not drive myself crazy waiting on some man's attention. 45 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:37,973 I refuse to overthink this. 46 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,392 -Mmm-hmm -(cell phone chimes) 47 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,145 (sighs) 48 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:44,647 Well? 49 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,398 It's a coupon for Panera. 50 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,651 First thing first, I'm a winner 51 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,153 You ain't even competition 'Cause my lane ain't for beginners 52 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:53,364 Only getting better While my head is getting better 53 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,115 Yes, I got to keep it moving 'Cause I never... 54 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:58,077 You know, we're collecting these clothes for people who need them. 55 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,079 {\an8}But really, haven't they been through enough? 56 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,581 But these clothes are to help get people off the streets, 57 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,917 not into Dean & DeLuca for brunch. 58 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,961 Oh, my God, do you think that's a brunch place? 59 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,712 Hey, Leight, a bunch of us are going 60 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,674 to a drag queen trivia tonight, if you want to join. 61 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,635 Yeah, the winning team gets a free eyebrow shaping 62 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,430 and a photo with Vermont's best drag queen, Miranda Penis. 63 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,140 I actually have plans tonight. 64 00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:23,519 Theta's throwing one of their biggest parties of the year, the Theta-lympics. 65 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,273 What? Why are y'all so quiet. 66 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,109 Did I accidentally say something triggering again? 67 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,986 Hey, I get that your brother is in Theta, 68 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:35,197 but frats can be extremely sexist, toxic nightmares. 69 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:39,410 I mean, we have been campaigning to abolish Greek life for over a year now. 70 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,370 Okay, look. I know frats get a bad rap, all right? 71 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,539 But Theta actually does a lot of good. 72 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,916 They just finished a construction project in Mexico. 73 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,836 Yeah, on the Senor Frog's that they burned down. 74 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,462 Okay, fine. Maybe they're not perfect, 75 00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:53,048 but have any of you ever even been to a frat party? 76 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:54,550 Hmm? 77 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,844 I chained myself to a tree outside one once. 78 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,388 So we're making a judgmental assumption? 79 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:00,890 You're right. 80 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,349 Thank you. 81 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,393 Yeah. I mean, we shouldn't be judging Theta 82 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,603 until we go to one of their parties. 83 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:06,604 Mmm-hmm. 84 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,730 So maybe we should all go tonight. 85 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:08,731 No. 86 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,983 Oh, no, no. Come on. 87 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,403 I mean, you guys have your super-fun drag queen thing. 88 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,989 No. No, no, no. Let's give Theta a chance to prove us wrong. 89 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,490 Send me that invite. 90 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:19,950 I can. 91 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,913 Just FYI, they did photoshop a boob into the Theta logo. 92 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,873 And we're off to a great start. 93 00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:35,174 I have the coolest fucking plans tonight. 94 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:39,637 The Catullan editors are throwing a wine and cheese soiree. 95 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,640 Yeah, that doesn't sound cool, but, hey, 96 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,767 things must be going well if they invited you over. 97 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,101 Oh, no, they didn't invite me. 98 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:47,394 I overheard them invite someone else. 99 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,812 So I got all the deets I need to crash it. 100 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:52,358 Do we need to say something or do we just let her do this craziness? 101 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:53,484 I'm still learning your dynamic. 102 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,862 Hey, I need face-time with these dudes, however I can get it. 103 00:03:56,946 --> 00:03:57,947 I want them to respect me, 104 00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,407 and this is a hell of a lot easier than growing a dick, you know? 105 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,578 Hey, Hayden. Sick tracksuit. 106 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,330 You get that at the Essex bookstore? 107 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,124 No, it was team-issued. Drip, drip, right? 108 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,001 Team-issued, like, for free? 109 00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:12,920 We didn't get those, did we? 110 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,255 No. The guys' team always gets more shit than we do. 111 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,174 Yeah. I don't know. These were just waiting for us 112 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,801 in our lockers after our last game. 113 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,886 Which you lost. Badly. 114 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:24,098 I mean, did we really lose if we had fun? 115 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,809 -Hmm. -And yes, we lost seven to one. 116 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:29,687 Are you kidding me? 117 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,648 Welcome to the world of being a female college athlete. 118 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,483 I try to ignore it so I don't go insane. 119 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,026 But you should have seen me last year 120 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:39,154 when I first saw how much nicer their locker rooms are than ours. 121 00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,948 How much nicer is it? 122 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,575 Exactly. I looked just like that. 123 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:50,749 Hey, Canaan. 124 00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:53,669 You're kind of like my only male friend so far. 125 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,920 -Can I ask you-- -Nope. 126 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:57,673 I see where this is heading, and I do not do dating advice. 127 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,299 Oh, my God. No. 128 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,135 This is so not about dating. 129 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,429 But it is about a boy I like. 130 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:04,680 -Okay. -Okay. 131 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,306 When you're flirting with a girl, 132 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,226 do you ever comment on her Instagram 133 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,186 and then delete said comment later? 134 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:12,271 Wait. What? 135 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,606 See, I told you. You're dealing with a sociopath. 136 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,191 A hot sociopath. 137 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,485 But honestly, most are hot. 138 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,528 Look, Kimberly. 139 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:22,072 I don't have time for this conversation, and neither do you. 140 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,908 This econ problem set is due at midnight and it's crazy hard. 141 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,201 Focus on that. 142 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,828 Okay. I just can't tell if he likes me or not. 143 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:28,954 Mmm-hmm. 144 00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:31,707 Look, if he left a nice comment, he probably meant it. 145 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,126 Either that or he's a fuck-boy. 146 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,461 (gasps) So what do I do? 147 00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,379 You should do your econ homework. 148 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:41,383 Look, if you want to know if Nico's into you, test it. 149 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,427 Post a story and see if he checks it right away. 150 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,597 If he does, that means you really high up in his algorithm, 151 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,141 and algorithms, they don't lie. 152 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,518 Oh, my God. You're a genius! 153 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:52,436 I know. 154 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,980 Okay, so what should I put in my story? Like a topical TikTok dance? 155 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:57,816 Or... I can do a SpongeBob impression. 156 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:58,901 Okay. 157 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:01,403 You should not have custody of your phone. 158 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:07,034 Hit the mall And affection flex our flesh 159 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,327 Hit the club... 160 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,662 Hey, my for some reason shirtless brother. 161 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:13,665 I'd make up a reason for why my shirt is off, but honestly, 162 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,042 it's because I know I look good without it. 163 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:16,752 What's up? 164 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,504 I need to bring some other girls with me tonight. 165 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,881 Dope. Other Kappa hopefuls? 166 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,509 No, they're from the, um, women's center. 167 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,344 (chuckles) Less dope. 168 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,512 Uh... 169 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,014 Doesn't the woman's center, like, hate the frats 170 00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:29,932 and want to shut us down? 171 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,185 Yes, but everything they know about frats is from the Kavanaugh hearings. 172 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,394 All right? So just let them in 173 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,063 and they'll see it's not as bad as they think. 174 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,189 Leight, you don't understand. 175 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,608 Theta is already on thin ice with the administration, 176 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,068 and one more complaint could get us shut down. 177 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,903 They are not going to shut you down. 178 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,613 Tell that to Sigma Chi. 179 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:45,739 They used to be down the block, 180 00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,908 and now their building is an Amazon fulfillment center. 181 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,952 Look, Leight. Please. 182 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:54,164 Just do us both a favor and convince them not to come. 183 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:57,793 (clears throat) 184 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:01,463 {\an8}So upon some reflection, I think we should all go to your drag thing. 185 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:04,466 {\an8}Uh, sorry, Leight. A deal's a deal. We're going to Theta. 186 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,468 {\an8}But if you want to support Miranda Penis, 187 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:07,636 {\an8}you can Venmo her tips. 188 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,097 {\an8}It's @Charles Smith78. 189 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:15,144 {\an8}Dude, these sombreros are awesome. 190 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,731 {\an8}LEIGHTON Sorry. They're coming. 191 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,442 Is anyone in our delegation a women's studies major? 192 00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,443 Fuck, no. 193 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:24,987 Minor? 194 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:26,822 No? 195 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,615 Shit. 196 00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:33,120 This is Whitney Chase, starting forward for the Essex women's soccer team, 197 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,497 and I am documenting the disparity 198 00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:37,708 between male and female student athletes. 199 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,711 Now, I have been told that the men's locker room 200 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,671 is significantly nicer than the women's, 201 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,214 and honestly, I... 202 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,593 Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me. 203 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,095 This is insane. 204 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,055 Wood-paneled lockers. 205 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,976 And next up, the Essex Fox mascot uniform 206 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,936 to cheer them on while they dry their balls. 207 00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,439 And let's see what else they've got. 208 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:01,732 -What the fuck? -Oh, shit. 209 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:04,943 Sorry. 210 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,612 What the hell were you thinking? 211 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,946 I was spotlighting injustice 212 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,656 so I could go public with the footage and get it fixed. 213 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:13,202 Right! 'Cause news outlets regularly share videos 214 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,245 of floppy 18-year-old penises. 215 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,414 Do you know how much trouble you could have gotten into? 216 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,043 You're lucky I convinced Coach Jim to let this go. 217 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:21,960 So that's your plan? 218 00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:25,130 Just look away and condone a system where we get treated worse? 219 00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:26,173 Chase. 220 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,968 I am a 54-year-old lesbian soccer coach. 221 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:34,348 You don't need to tell me how hard it is for female athletes, okay? 222 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,225 And no, that's not all I'm doing. 223 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,809 I'm also benching you for two games. 224 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,770 What? That is so unfair. 225 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:41,313 You can go. 226 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:46,401 I like it better when you hold me 227 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,694 Don't act like you don't know me 228 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,571 Okay. So how soon after you posted the story 229 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,530 did Nico look at it? 230 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:51,531 Two minutes. 231 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,701 Damn, girl! My stalker doesn't even check my stories that fast. 232 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:55,869 And he served time. 233 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:56,912 Nico's into you. 234 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,081 Okay, and then he invited you to the Theta party? 235 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,290 -Mmm-hmm. -Oh, yeah. 236 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,709 That's a sex invite. Shower good. 237 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:03,627 No, you're crazy. 238 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,504 Kimberly, there is no other way to interpret it. 239 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,297 Go for it. Seize the dick. 240 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,341 Okay, but then I replied with a GIF of a baby 241 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,052 running real fast, saying, "I'm coming!" 242 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,553 And he replied, "JK" 243 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,931 and then, "Whoops. That was meant for someone else." 244 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:17,474 And that was it? 245 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:19,810 Hmm. 246 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,145 Maybe I should just stay in and do my econ. 247 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:25,899 I have to upload it by midnight sharp, or I get a zero. 248 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,776 Or you should go tonight, 249 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,779 let him flirt like this in person and see if something happens. 250 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:31,989 I agree with Jocelyn, 251 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,449 and I say that as someone with extremely high social intelligence. 252 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,618 All right, I'm gonna go crash a cheese party 253 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,786 I wasn't invited to. 254 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,289 -Seize the dick. -Seize the dick. 255 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,456 -Hey. -Seize the dick. 256 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,374 Seize the dick. 257 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,501 Seize the dick. Seize the dick. 258 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,050 Bela. What are you doing here? 259 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,970 Duh! I'm here for the cheese thing. 260 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,013 You goof. 261 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,353 Hey, Coach. What, did you want to see me? 262 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:04,855 Take a seat. 263 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,775 Dalton, let's go! 264 00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:09,735 Dalton? 265 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,280 Okay. What is happening? 266 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,574 Your mom has asked for a meeting, 267 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:19,745 so thanks for making a two-game suspension 268 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,371 a national security issue. 269 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,291 What? Coach, I swear, I didn't ask her to do this. 270 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,292 I mean, I only-- 271 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,335 Hello. 272 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,627 Mom, what the hell? 273 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:31,048 I'm reaching out to your coach because I would like for her to explain 274 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,508 why my daughter called me all upset 275 00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:36,928 to tell me she had been benched for standing up against discrimination. 276 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,430 And we welcome that opportunity. 277 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,183 But... (chuckles nervously) we do have rules. 278 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,643 Senator, I assure you, we love your daughter. 279 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:45,937 Like, all of us do. We all do. 280 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,357 Coach Woods included, even more so than I. 281 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,608 Oh, my God. 282 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,568 I'm sorry. Who are you? 283 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,695 Dalton. Assistant coach. 284 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:58,075 Coach Woods, can you turn the screen slightly to frame him out? 285 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,034 Oh, yeah. 286 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,411 Now, as you probably can expect, 287 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,956 I cannot sit back and allow my daughter to be mistreated. 288 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,626 I'm not saying I want to go to the dean about a leadership change-- 289 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:08,919 Mom, stop it! 290 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,798 Senator Chase, I am willing to overturn my previous decision. 291 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:17,010 But, uh, I hope you understand why I took this so seriously. 292 00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:17,928 (clears throat) 293 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,598 Your daughter filmed naked boys 294 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,183 without their permission. 295 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:24,768 Wait. I'm... 296 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,811 I'm sorry. What? 297 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:28,939 Well, she's lucky the 17-year-old goalie stayed in the sauna, 298 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,275 since that would legally be the creation of child pornography. 299 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:34,945 Could you angle me towards my daughter? 300 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:35,946 Oh, yeah. You bet. 301 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,448 Nudes of a minor? 302 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,617 Jesus, Whitney, we're not the Kennedys. 303 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,994 Mom, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make things right. 304 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,163 You and I will talk about this later. 305 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,416 -Yeah. -(Evette laughs) 306 00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,251 Thanks again, Gertrude. 307 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,044 Appreciate your time. 308 00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:53,088 Girl, I love that blouse. (chuckles) 309 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,256 (fake chuckles) 310 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,258 (sighs) 311 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,846 Hey, what are you guys talking about over here? 312 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,140 -How cool this guy's hair is? -Hmm? 313 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,516 We were discussing Franzen. 314 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,017 Ugh! Franzen sucks. 315 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,520 My parents used to keep this box of White Zinfandel in their fridge. 316 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,773 One time I drank it all and barfed in my cat's litter box. 317 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,066 (all laughing) 318 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:16,111 Do you mean Franzia, the boxed wine? 319 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,196 No. 320 00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,282 No, I was obviously joking, guys. 321 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:24,703 Uh, but, hey, I'm going to get that cheese platter 322 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:28,540 somebody brought and eat something off of it. 323 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,792 (sighs) 324 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:38,091 So which person here do you find the most insufferable? 325 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:41,595 I'm going with the girl who's mentioned studying abroad in Syria like nine times. 326 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:42,804 (chuckles) 327 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,724 Oh, by the way, I thought that last piece you wrote, it's great. 328 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,018 The one about all the people your immigrant dad 329 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,561 keeps confusing with Jennifer Garner. 330 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,022 Cool, thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it. 331 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,523 You see, it comes from a real place. 332 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,318 My immigrant dad confuses a lot of people with Jennifer Garner. 333 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:59,112 Well, I wrote some notes on it, if you're interested. 334 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:00,197 Oh, my God. 335 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:01,990 That would be great. 336 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,372 (Nico) We tossed all the sombreros, kimonos and fake afros. 337 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,917 We tried to get rid of any and all triggers. 338 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,835 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it looks good. 339 00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,295 I can't imagine the Women's Center crew 340 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,796 being offended by any of this. 341 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,548 Leighton, hi. 342 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,716 May we enter? 343 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,092 Where is everybody? 344 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,844 Does the party not begin at eight o'clock? 345 00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:26,264 It's 8:05. That's an insane time to arrive for an eight o'clock party. 346 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,600 Can I take your coat? 347 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,936 I will keep it on and buttoned, thank you. 348 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,938 Great. Yeah. Whatever makes you comfortable. 349 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,231 I made you a bread. 350 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:37,359 Oh, that's... Wow. It's so heavy. 351 00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,904 Cool. Please, let me show you around. 352 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,742 Nico, what a lovely Craftsman home you have. 353 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,203 We'll be lovers for a night 354 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,123 Take my hand... 355 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:55,043 So, tonight is gonna be a shit-show, isn't it? 356 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,503 (chuckles) Oh, yeah. 357 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,506 Uh, (chuckles) do you want a drink? 358 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,383 -Oh, I already started in the driveway. -(chuckles) Okay. 359 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,718 But, yeah, let's continue drinking, please. 360 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,181 Ginger, is that a body cam? 361 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,226 What? No. No. This is a normal brooch. 362 00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:15,855 Yeah, I think if you make a few of these cuts, it'd be great. 363 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,191 You should totally include this in your final writing submission. 364 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,485 Really? Cool. Thank you so much. 365 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:22,195 Should we go back out there? 366 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:25,031 Hey, before we go, I wanna show you this funny video I saw. 367 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:26,950 Sure. After yours, I have one too. 368 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,618 It's a lady who falls with a milkshake. 369 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:29,828 (woman moaning on screen) 370 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:33,623 Fuck. 371 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,627 Yes. Yes. Yes. 372 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:42,966 Theta-lympics are a celebration of competition and pageantry. 373 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:46,803 Specifically, drinking competition and drinking pageantry. 374 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,472 But note that we take every possible precaution. 375 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,891 Drinks are poured by licensed bartenders, 376 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:54,394 and two brothers have been designated as sober "problem solvers." 377 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:55,562 Dude, you can calm down. 378 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,147 Look, I know that you think I'm some, like, 379 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,024 big, scary lesbian protestor 380 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,233 -coming to get you. -Whoa! 381 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:03,069 I did not know that you are a lesbian. 382 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,488 It would be rude if I assumed that. 383 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,157 Nico. Less. 384 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,201 Okay. So, I'm just here to have a good time. 385 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,872 Now, would you please hold my feet for a keg stand? 386 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,625 Only if you hold mine afterwards. 387 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,710 Equality. 388 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:19,836 Oh, my God. 389 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,547 Okay, cool. Needs more ice. 390 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,759 Actually, I am gonna go make sure 391 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,469 that Ginger has her gluten-free beer. 392 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:29,596 I'll just check on her. 393 00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,850 But really, I'm here for me, not for him. 394 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,186 -I don't even care if I see him. -Okay, good. 395 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,021 -Yeah. Tonight's a "me" night. -Mmm. 396 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,523 But in the event that I do see him, 397 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,651 should I mention him deleting the Instagram comment? 398 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,694 -No. -Hi, what's going on over here? 399 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:47,489 Actually, I don't care. I'm just trying to avoid someone, so... 400 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:48,615 Damn. Okay. 401 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,699 Hey, there she is. 402 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,326 -Hey. -How was the wine and cheese thing? 403 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,285 It was fine. 404 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:53,995 That's it? 405 00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,372 Yeah. Why? What's wrong? 406 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,333 -You're acting weird. -Yeah, your vibes are way off. 407 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,336 Yeah, something sort of weird actually did happen. 408 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:04,047 One of the Catullan editors was giving me notes on a piece 409 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,174 and then he put on a porn. 410 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,051 What? Why did he do that? 411 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,052 Were you hooking up with him? 412 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,096 No, we were just talking, and then he put it on. 413 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,347 So, like a predator does? 414 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,807 No, not like a predator. 415 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,184 It was friendly. He said he just wanted to show me a funny video. 416 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,061 And the funny video was porn? 417 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,437 Bela, I don't like this. 418 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,272 Was the porn even funny though? 419 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:23,483 That's the thing. I couldn't figure out what the funny part was. 420 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:24,693 But I must've missed something. 421 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:25,652 It's fine. 422 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,905 Well, do you remember what it was called? 423 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,615 (woman moaning over phone) 424 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:33,493 Maybe he thought it was funny that they kept their socks on? 425 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,161 No. I don't think so. 426 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:38,331 Is it funny that his balls are a different color than his penis? 427 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,083 Was he laughing while you were watching it? 428 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,294 No, he was just staring at it and, like, breathed heavy. 429 00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:45,463 We didn't even make eye contact until it ended. 430 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:48,591 Yeah. Okay, final decision. This guy is weird as fuck. 431 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,176 Yeah. I agree, you should avoid him. 432 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,178 Okay, if this was Eric, that would be one thing. 433 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,264 But this is Ryan. He's the nice one. 434 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,306 Hey. 435 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:59,394 No watching porn tonight. We are on our best behavior. 436 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,063 (door closes) 437 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:05,900 All right. This is gonna be okay, 438 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,694 but listen, I'm gonna need you to sweep like you've never swept before. 439 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,321 Yo, I am the king of sweeping. Hit it. 440 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,866 Go. Okay. Go, go, sweep, sweep! 441 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,827 Goal! Yes, yes. 442 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,749 Looks like Nico's got himself a new Barbie doll. 443 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,250 Her? 444 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,085 Girl, what the hell did your Barbie dolls look like? 445 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,504 -Great job, Nico! -Hey! 446 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:27,630 Hey! 447 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:28,798 -Thanks, man. -Yeah. 448 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:29,883 (awkward chuckle) 449 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,428 Did he just call you "man"? 450 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,888 Maybe he said "ma'am." 451 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,055 That's not better. 452 00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:42,520 (chuckles) Hey! 453 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:43,855 -Thank you. -All right. I'mma catch you later. 454 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,023 All right. Sounds good. 455 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:46,900 What the hell? I just-- 456 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,360 -Oh! -Of course, it's you. 457 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,237 Oh, take it easy. What are you gonna do? 458 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,656 Grab some more pics of my dick for your personal collection? 459 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,283 -That's not what I was doing. -Okay. 460 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,828 Look, do you think it's fair that a men's soccer team with a losing record 461 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:03,082 gets tons of swag while a women's team with a winning record gets nothing? 462 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,793 Okay, I think that we get shit 463 00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:07,003 because people actually come to our games. 464 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,256 And people prefer men's sports because we're better natural athletes. 465 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:13,301 We're stronger, we're faster, and we have bigger muscles. 466 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,428 Is that too real of an answer for you? 467 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,430 You really think you're faster than me? 468 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,681 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. 469 00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:20,642 Prove it. 470 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:25,021 We get it big, we get it big, we get it big... 471 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:31,236 Um, why are there so many sombreros in that dumpster? 472 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,780 I think when they heard we were coming, 473 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,199 they ditched some of the more problematic elements of this party, 474 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,536 and by problematic, I do mean deeply, deeply racist. 475 00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:41,621 -We? -Huh? 476 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,748 You just said "when they heard we were coming." 477 00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,667 What? Are you one of us now? 478 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,127 Oh, a Women's Center person? 479 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,089 Um, are you insane? I would sooner do improv. 480 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,550 Oh, God, we're that bad? 481 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,635 No, you're right. I crossed a line. 482 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:56,636 Ooh. 483 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:57,762 (both chuckle) 484 00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,514 (man moaning in relief) 485 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,683 Oh, yeah. 486 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,103 Dude, can you please not take a piss right next to us? 487 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:08,356 I mean, I came here to drink, not see the side of your dick. 488 00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:09,524 Whatever. 489 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,401 Asshole. 490 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,361 If you don't like it, leave, you dyke. 491 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,445 (zips pant) 492 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,784 What the fuck did you just call me? 493 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:21,494 Fuck off. 494 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,872 Take that, motherfucker. Yes! 495 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,541 This dyke is kicking your fucking ass! 496 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,418 -Alicia, stop. Stop. -Get off of me. 497 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,752 What the hell! 498 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,421 Whose side are you on, anyway? 499 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,054 Wait. Alicia? Wait up. 500 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,348 Alicia. Alicia, stop. 501 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:43,308 Why? 502 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:44,976 So that you can get mad at me 503 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,186 for defending myself against that fucking dick? 504 00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,938 No, I just didn't wanna see you get hurt, okay? 505 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:49,981 That guy could have killed you. 506 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,734 I know you think you're tough but you are fucking five feet tall. 507 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,068 I am five-foot two. 508 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:59,032 Okay, I am so, so sorry that that happened, okay? 509 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,659 And I'm so sorry that I brought you here. 510 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,287 I swear to God, I have never seen these guys do anything like that before. 511 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,581 Yeah, of course you haven't. 512 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,499 Because they don't treat you like they treat me. 513 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,544 I'm just this queer girl that they can't fuck. 514 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:15,131 But you, you're this pretty, blond, straight girl 515 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,675 who they actually think is worthy of respect. 516 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,218 -No, that... that's not true. -Yes, it is. 517 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,054 No. 518 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,015 No. I mean, I mean... 519 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,227 What you said about me... You're wrong. 520 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,357 What part am I wrong about? 521 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:45,536 Whoa. I was... 522 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:48,957 like, really wrong about you. 523 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:50,750 Shut up. 524 00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:01,636 Let's go, let's go. All right, all right. 525 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:06,057 First one to a mile permanently proves which gender is superior. 526 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,852 {\an8}Three, two, one, go! 527 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,440 This is easy. All day, baby. 528 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:15,525 -I got you. -Okay. 529 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,442 Yeah, okay. 530 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:17,652 (machine beeping) 531 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,571 Come on! 532 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,824 Run. Show us how those muscles work, girl! 533 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,618 (Nico) Hey, Kimberly, wait up. 534 00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,204 -Hey. -Hey. 535 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,917 I feel terrible. I invited you, I got busy and I barely saw you. 536 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,044 Oh, I didn't even notice. 537 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,588 I was just hanging out with so many friends. 538 00:21:37,672 --> 00:21:38,798 Right. 539 00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,134 But I have to get going. 540 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,344 -Homework. -Oh. 541 00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,556 Do you want me to walk you? 542 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,100 Yeah, you can do that. 543 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:50,560 (Kimberly chuckles) 544 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,519 Cool. 545 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,648 Give it up one time for this girl! 546 00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:56,691 Yeah! 547 00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:58,901 Come on, Whit! 548 00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:00,319 -We're close! -We're gonna win! 549 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:02,530 -No, no, no no! -Yes! 550 00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,616 Yes! That's right! 551 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,744 I guess men aren't faster than women after all-- 552 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,079 {\an8}(all exclaiming) 553 00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,039 {\an8}Shit. 554 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:20,006 Nevertheless, she persisted! 555 00:22:20,089 --> 00:22:21,507 Yeah! 556 00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:30,933 So was the Theta-lympics everything you hoped for? 557 00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:33,644 Yeah, I mean no one spilled a beer on me, 558 00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:35,980 so it was easily my favorite Theta party yet. 559 00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,023 (both laugh) 560 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:41,694 Hey, 561 00:22:42,612 --> 00:22:45,990 did you leave a comment on my Instagram and then delete it? 562 00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:48,910 Yes. 563 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:53,456 I didn't want anyone reading it and getting the wrong idea. 564 00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:56,793 The wrong idea like what? 565 00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,004 You're my sister's roommate and I'm tutoring you. 566 00:23:00,088 --> 00:23:02,006 I shouldn't be saying you look, uh... 567 00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,051 You know. 568 00:23:11,641 --> 00:23:12,725 I should get back. 569 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:15,144 Thanks for walking me home. 570 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:16,854 No problem. 571 00:23:16,938 --> 00:23:19,607 I will disappear 572 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,363 These are all my tears... 573 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,531 Oh, shit! 574 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,661 I've cried them all out... 575 00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:43,089 (sighs) 576 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,215 Fuck. 577 00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:47,093 Fuck. 578 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:56,769 Never let go of a grudge 579 00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:04,026 Never even once let me 580 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:08,156 Explain myself 581 00:24:08,239 --> 00:24:10,408 Are you seriously leaving right now? 582 00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:13,035 No, it's just late. That's all. 583 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,831 Look, I get it. 584 00:24:17,623 --> 00:24:19,792 I always used to rush away after sex too. 585 00:24:21,377 --> 00:24:23,754 Instead, you know, maybe you could just come sit down. 586 00:24:23,838 --> 00:24:28,009 We could order some Postmates, maybe watch some Indian Matchmaker. 587 00:24:33,931 --> 00:24:34,974 Okay. 588 00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:38,311 Okay. I will stay for one to six episodes. 589 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,438 Okay. 590 00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:43,232 Let it all go... 591 00:24:43,316 --> 00:24:45,651 Uh, could I borrow your Netflix log-in? 592 00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:49,530 Up in flames 593 00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:51,073 Are you serious? Did you get hurt? 594 00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,116 I'm fine. 595 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,286 You should see the treadmill. My chin definitely dented it. 596 00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,079 (laughs) 597 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:58,915 Whit, we need to talk. 598 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:02,835 We can't do this anymore. 599 00:25:04,462 --> 00:25:05,588 Are you breaking up with me? 600 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:07,590 It's my fault. 601 00:25:08,758 --> 00:25:11,302 This whole thing was wrong and it was inappropriate for me 602 00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:12,386 to ever go along with it. 603 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,388 Go along with it? 604 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:16,432 Look, we just need to end it. 605 00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:18,851 I don't understand. 606 00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:22,313 Wait, is this because of the call with my mom? 607 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:25,191 Wait, if she ever found out we were together, I'd be done. 608 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:26,901 You know it. She would have me so canceled. 609 00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:29,695 There'd be this big story and no school would ever hire me. 610 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:31,614 Wait. So what now? 611 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:33,783 We just go on pretending everything's normal 612 00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:35,701 and you go home to your fucking wife 613 00:25:35,785 --> 00:25:37,578 and hope she forgives you and takes you back? 614 00:25:42,667 --> 00:25:44,335 I never actually told her. 615 00:25:49,298 --> 00:25:51,801 You shouldn't tell anyone either. We both have a lot to lose. 616 00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:57,890 I'm in the wild 617 00:25:57,974 --> 00:26:02,186 Other than the sound of a passing car 618 00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:05,147 What the fuck? 619 00:26:12,363 --> 00:26:15,741 It's ooh, oh, oh 620 00:26:16,951 --> 00:26:20,288 It's ooh, oh, oh 621 00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:25,418 It starts by a look 622 00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:29,880 It doesn't take a glance To be misunderstood 623 00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:34,802 Freed by a sound 624 00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:40,016 Woman of the world I've been rolling around 625 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:44,020 It's not out of mind 626 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:49,233 It's just I need a little time 627 00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:53,195 It's not out of mind 628 00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:58,701 It's just I need a little time 629 00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:02,955 And stop for a minute I don't care who's in it 630 00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:07,626 Your head gels and your heart knows 631 00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:14,342 There's a lot of leaves in the sky Believe in your own self 632 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:17,636 You should say so, oh, oh, oh 633 00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,348 Oh, oh, oh 634 00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:25,102 Ooh, oh, oh 635 00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:29,523 It's oh, oh, oh