1
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,274
<i>Tell the men I'm coming </i>

2
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,528
<i>Tell them count the days </i>

3
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,531
Kimberly // 9:12 AM
Slept with Nico.

4
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,249
{\an8}Kimberly // 9:13 AM
Don't call. Still in bed.

5
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:43,627
{\an8}Bela // 9:13 AM
I need to know everything!

6
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,045
{\an8}Show him on FaceTime, I'll be quiet.

7
00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,423
{\an8}Kimberly // 9:13 AM
No! We'll talk later!

8
00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:52,595
Bela // 9:13 AM
Nice?

9
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:53,679
Was that your phone?

10
00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,598
Um, no, it's an Amber Alert. It's nothing.

11
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,606
Good morning.

12
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:04,565
Hello.

13
00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,859
I did not expect last night to happen.

14
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,152
Me neither.

15
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,781
But, like, you wanted it to happen, right?

16
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,032
I had your consent.

17
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,993
-Yes, you had my consent.
-Okay.

18
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,456
That wasn't your first time. Was it?

19
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,167
Me? God, no! No, I've sexed a lot.

20
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,294
Was it yours?

21
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,546
I hoped you could tell it wasn't.

22
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:28,923
Totally, totally.

23
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:32,051
Hey, if it's cool, I think
we shouldn't tell Leighton about this.

24
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:33,969
Oh, definitely not.

25
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,764
One time Bela made a comment
on your hot bod, and Leighton

26
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:38,891
got so mad she snapped a pen in half.

27
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,019
Well, then, it's settled.

28
00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:43,938
We won't mention last night...

29
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:46,524
or this morning.

30
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:51,320
This morning? I don't... Oh, yes.
I'm a yes for this morning.

31
00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:52,738
Giddy up!

32
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,281
I don't know why I said that.

33
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:02,331
Okay, tell us every single detail,
leave out nothing.

34
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,291
I'm not going to kiss and tell.
That's tacky.

35
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,919
You're right. Act it out with your food.
He's a sausage or the Tater Tots?

36
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:08,170
All I'll share is this...

37
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:13,217
It is crazy how much better sex is
with Nico, a guy I just met,

38
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,302
than with a guy I loved like, Max.

39
00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,929
That's not crazy. One's hot

40
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,722
and one brought a lightsaber
when he visited.

41
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,016
So you're really
not gonna tell us anything?

42
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,146
His sex is amazing
and I can't stop thinking about it.

43
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:28,899
- Oh!
- Yes! That's my girl.

44
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,943
Now describe his penis so I can
draw it out like a sketch artist.

45
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,695
You really like him, don't you?

46
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,531
Yeah. I mean, he's nice
and funny and smart,

47
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,866
and I don't know...

48
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:38,242
He like...

49
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,286
surprises me.

50
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,412
Who surprises you?

51
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:45,249
No one. Just this cute meteorologist
on my local news channel back home.

52
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,377
Your meteorologist surprises you?

53
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,129
Yeah, like, with this tie choices.

54
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:53,173
Morning, besties! I need a favor.

55
00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,301
So, you know how I didn't get
into any of the a cappella groups

56
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,052
because they're all super jealous of me.

57
00:02:57,595 --> 00:03:00,890
Well, hold on to your labes,
because I started my own group,

58
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,600
and we are having our concert...

59
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:05,686
<i>Tomorrow </i>

60
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:08,230
Travis, I will never go
to an a cappella show.

61
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,482
Well, you'll be at this one,

62
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:11,984
because you wouldn't want

63
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,778
your intersectionality to be called
into question, would you?

64
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:16,572
Okay. I'll see you there.

65
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,664
Hi. You have
some old work-out jackets, right?

66
00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:28,042
The Women's Center is volunteering
at a horse rehab farm,

67
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,836
and I'm not about to have one of them
nibble on my Gucci quarter zips.

68
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,379
So you wanna give them one of mine?

69
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,757
Sure, take the red one,
it's in the closet.

70
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,342
Thank you.

71
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,394
What is this?

72
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,562
"Hey, babe."

73
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,649
Oh, that's like a team nickname.
They just call me "babe" sometimes.

74
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,984
"You looked hot out there today.
Love, Dalton"?

75
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:56,320
Isn't Dalton one of your coaches?

76
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,825
Leighton, I swear to God,
you cannot tell anyone.

77
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:07,122
Okay? But I may have had an affair
with my married assistant coach.

78
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,208
Okay.

79
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,168
Look, it was a mistake
and it's in the past.

80
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,379
Okay, but I need you to give me
your solemn word

81
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,964
that you're not going
to say anything to anyone.

82
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,548
My "solemn word"?

83
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,718
Dude, well, I'm sure this is considered
some juicy stuff where you're from...

84
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,595
I went to a New York prep school,

85
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:23,931
I've been making out with bartenders
since I was like 14.

86
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,891
That's disturbing.

87
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,228
But, it does make me feel
a little bit better.

88
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:32,106
I don't know. I've honestly been low-key

89
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,400
depressed about this
for the past couple weeks.

90
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:37,361
Do you wanna hang out and talk about it?

91
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,655
I can bail on this
Women's Center thing right now.

92
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:42,074
Oh, no, that's nice of you,
but you don't have to do that.

93
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,827
Ah, it's too late. I already
used you as an excuse.

94
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,496
I told them my BIPOC roommate
was in crisis.

95
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:48,622
Okay.

96
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:58,716
Hey, can you think of something that
rhymes with "Ansel Elgort's thick thighs"?

97
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:00,217
I don't think I can.

98
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,595
I'm so in my head
about this final <i>Catullan </i> submission.

99
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,265
Not to be dramatic,
but the six pieces I submit tomorrow

100
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,226
will determine the rest
of my entire comedy career.

101
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,062
Bela, your packet is so funny.

102
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,065
I liked every single piece,
even the ones I didn't understand.

103
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,404
Damn, you and Nico are texting non-stop.

104
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,990
Yeah, but I have to put
my phone away and focus.

105
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:27,202
I have a six-hour shift at Sips
and so much homework to catch up on.

106
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,163
For the rest of the day,
I'm tuning him out

107
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,080
and I'm getting things done.

108
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,874
I'm sure you will.

109
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,844
I'm sorry I'm late.
I got locked out of my room.

110
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,847
And I forgot to lock it again.

111
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,474
I'll be back in 20 minutes.

112
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,060
The fuck?

113
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,858
I have to help a friend with something.

114
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,652
I'll be back in 14 minutes.

115
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:08,827
My dorm is having an emergency.

116
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,829
I will be back
in eight and a half minutes.

117
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:20,881
Oh, shit!

118
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,425
Are you kidding me?

119
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:27,054
When it comes to Chrises, it goes
Pine, Hemsworth, Evans, and--

120
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,764
Hello?

121
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,808
Oh. Sorry.

122
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,101
Do you see that guy over there?

123
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,813
His name is Canaan. We kind of hooked up.

124
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:41,318
-Whitney, that guy is so hot.
-Stop.

125
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,737
Okay, that is the kind of guy
that you need to be going for.

126
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:46,198
Not some townie doofus
who peaked in high school.

127
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,158
He works at Sips with Kimberly.

128
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,994
Kimberly works at Sips?
I could have sworn she was a janitor.

129
00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,330
Look, he's sitting down to eat.

130
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,291
Well, what are you waiting for?
Go talk to him.

131
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,753
I don't know. I feel like I might need
to take a beat

132
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,380
before jumping into someone new.

133
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,881
No, no, no. Okay, rookie mistake.

134
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:06,093
The best way to get over somebody is to
whore out with someone hotter,

135
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,886
right away, like him.

136
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,430
Okay.

137
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:14,810
Yeah.

138
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:18,939
Hey.

139
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,900
Whitney. It's been a minute.

140
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,195
-Wanna sit?
-Yeah.

141
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,240
Okay, but you will have to leave
when my cooler friends get here.

142
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:34,121
I can only submit six pieces,
so I need to pick the absolute best.

143
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,248
- Uh-huh.
- That's why I need your honest opinion.

144
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:37,416
Don't go easy on me.

145
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,417
Uh-huh. Yup.

146
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,879
Hey, do you think we should take a break
so you can give my packet your full focus?

147
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,463
Are you kidding me?

148
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,840
I want to do both at the same time.

149
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,092
You're so funny, it makes me so hard.

150
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,761
All right, get back down there.
Do your thing.

151
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,399
Kimberly Edie Finkle late again.

152
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,567
I'm very sorry.

153
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:05,360
Wait. How do you know my middle name?

154
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:07,112
Payroll purposes.
But don't change the subject.

155
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:09,114
All right. You are on thin ice,
young lady.

156
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,115
Now, grab that mop.

157
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,534
Some of the theatre kids
have been practicing spit takes

158
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,078
-and you're going to clean it up.
-Okay.

159
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:18,165
So, um, why do you keep on being late?

160
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,793
I've kind of been like... with someone.

161
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:26,006
I knew it was because
you were fucking somebody.

162
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,925
Uh, sorry. Can I order?

163
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,426
Excuse me, we're gabbing here.

164
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,387
Is it who I think it is?

165
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,390
Is his dick made out of gold?

166
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:37,726
Yeah. It's Nico. And it's amazing,

167
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,478
but it's all I can think about.

168
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,605
And yesterday, I skipped all my classes

169
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,732
and I'm barely holding on
to a "C" in Econ.

170
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:44,858
Econ with Professor Bennett?

171
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,443
-Yeah.
-Just ask him for extra credit.

172
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,112
That's what I did last year.
And my B-plus went to an A.

173
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,783
And I'm not just saying that to brag about
my grades, although I'm quite bright.

174
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,826
Really? That would be so huge.

175
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:55,911
I'll ask him about it today.

176
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,665
Does anyone have an iPhone 4 charger?

177
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,251
-I'm sorry.
-No.

178
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:07,005
{\an8}Great job getting your submission
in two minutes before the deadline, Jeff.

179
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,257
{\an8}I'll be reading it last.

180
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,842
{\an8}Hopefully, your take on Baby Yoda
is still fresh when I get to it.

181
00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:13,262
"Baby Yoda."

182
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,264
-That shit is so played out.
-Totally.

183
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,934
I wrote a piece about Baby Shark though
and it's pretty biting.

184
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,395
All right, everyone.

185
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,313
Final submissions are now closed.

186
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:24,690
If anyone's late, they're out of luck.

187
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,608
Thank you all for your hard work.

188
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:28,318
Eric, the board
and I are really looking forward

189
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,695
to reading what you came up with.

190
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:33,031
And if we choose any new members,
tonight is gonna be tap night.

191
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:36,994
We'll come find you in your rooms
and whisk you away for hours of traditions

192
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,497
that you cannot share with anyone ever,
including future spouses.

193
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,292
But again, we probably won't pick anyone.

194
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,877
We'll probably pick between
two and four people.

195
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,254
Evangeline, could you not?

196
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,465
I will now take the submissions
and hold on to them

197
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,467
until the board can reconvene
to review them.

198
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,012
But straight off the bat, I see some

199
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,931
insane and embarrassing
font choices, so way to go.

200
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:06,064
Hey, if we get picked,
can we finally see the upstairs rooms?

201
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:07,899
Want me to sneak you up right now?

202
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,402
Oh, shit. Yes.

203
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,903
Wait. You don't think
we'll get in trouble?

204
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,488
No one's coming back till 8:00.

205
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,698
Come on, let's go.

206
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,134
Whitney 1:54 PM
I'm seeing Canaan tonight.

207
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,887
I feel like it's
a compliment to get catfished.

208
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,388
It means he must really like you.

209
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:42,434
I just don't understand how
you got catfished by your cousin again.

210
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,811
Yeah. He just writes
such beautiful sonnets.

211
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,730
Ginger, we've talked about this.

212
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,858
You need to set boundaries
with Randy, your cousin.

213
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,818
Sorry I'm late.

214
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:54,863
You okay, Tova?

215
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,740
It's over between me and Beth.

216
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,283
What? What happened?

217
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,701
You two were such a cute couple.

218
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:02,162
We were supposed to go over
to her house for Thanksgiving,

219
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,247
and while her parents were cool
with her being a lesbian,

220
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,375
she thought that I might be
too much for them.

221
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,293
What? What would be too much?

222
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,921
I guess they've never met someone
who's non-binary,

223
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,131
so Beth wanted me to femme it up.

224
00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:14,591
Ugh. Fuck that.

225
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,221
Hey, you might quickly wanna
let us know what side you're on.

226
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,515
Tova's obviously.

227
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,976
Look, when I first had to come here,
I'll be real with you,

228
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:27,646
I kind of thought you all sucked.
Not for any identity reasons,

229
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,607
-just personalities, you know?
-Mmm-hmm.

230
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,110
But then I got to know you and, Tova,

231
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,444
I think you're pretty great.

232
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,822
You are almost too cool to be here,

233
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,533
but yet you still come here,
which kind of makes you cooler,

234
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,368
so this is Beth's loss.

235
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:43,495
Thank you, Leighton.

236
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,289
Uh, Leighton, quick question.

237
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,334
You pointed at me
when you were talking about personalities?

238
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:51,253
No, no. No, I didn't,
it just looked that way.

239
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,255
Oh! Okay, great.

240
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:01,096
I would be happy to offer extra credit
for helping me with my research.

241
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,889
It's actually pretty exciting stuff.

242
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,724
Here. Take a look.

243
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:11,773
{\an8}Oh, I love all this data! So many columns
with information in them.

244
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,191
Yeah.

245
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,860
This looks so cool.

246
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,404
Okay, well, basically, I just need help

247
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,449
with data calculations
using the blue binder's raw data,

248
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:21,825
the formulas in the green one.

249
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,201
The blue one, the green one.

250
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:24,286
Totally get it.

251
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,163
Well, I have a meeting
for the next few hours,

252
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,082
but when I get back, I'll tell you
how my data forecast changes

253
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,917
in the oat milk industry
over the next decade.

254
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,920
-If you'd like that.
-Sir, I would love that.

255
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,632
Have fun with that data.

256
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:42,053
What the fuck am I looking at?

257
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:49,811
Nico 2:17 PM
Hey, where are you?

258
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:59,488
Whoa. Cool portrait.
Is that, uh, Rob Schneider?

259
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:03,867
Are you kidding me? That's Sid Caesar.
He basically created TV comedy.

260
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,076
Nice.

261
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,036
I'm surprised you know that.

262
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:10,081
Holy shit, is that
a real cue card from <i>SNL? </i>

263
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,666
Jude Law hosted that one.

264
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,335
I can name the host
and musical guest pairing

265
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,462
of every episode of <i>SNL </i>
since the year 2000.

266
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,547
Okay, prove it.

267
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,216
Musical guest Korn.

268
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,800
Eva Longoria hosted.

269
00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,219
Ludacris.

270
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,347
You trying to trick me? Ludacris,
he hosted and he was a musical guest.

271
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,681
Okay.

272
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,518
Who was the musical guest
when The Rock hosted?

273
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:33,855
My boy Dwayne AKA Maui the Demigod
AKA The Tooth Fairy

274
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,525
has hosted five times,
with musical guests George Ezra,

275
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:40,111
Ray LaMontagne, Andrew W.K.,
AC/DC, and Katy Perry.

276
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,574
I can do a good Stewie voice.

277
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,786
If you want to hear it.

278
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:54,793
I think I'm gonna head out.
Uh... Thanks for bringing us up here.

279
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,378
Yup.

280
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,515
Yo, everyone, this is Whitney.

281
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,601
Baby Senator, welcome back.

282
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,813
The last time she was here,
she stood in the corner so long

283
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,065
I thought she was
her mother's Secret Service.

284
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:21,236
That's Jayla, who apparently woke up
this morning and chose violence.

285
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,488
Can your mom introduce me to Travis Scott?

286
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:26,074
Honestly, yeah, she probably could.

287
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,451
-Sick.
-Can I get you a drink?

288
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,661
-Yes, please.
-Okay.

289
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,289
-Let's see what they left for us.
-Okay.

290
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,708
Oh, this is wild.

291
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:38,295
Is this Canaan
with a girl in broad daylight?

292
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,923
Yeah, you should know, this guy
never introduces us to girls.

293
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,843
He just sneaks them into his room at night
like some kind of sex Batman.

294
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,052
Really?

295
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,596
You're a sex Batman.

296
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,973
- No, that's not true.
- It is though.

297
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,975
What the fuck?

298
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,393
Who's playing a slow jam?

299
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,645
I thought this was a turn-up,
not a wind down!

300
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,731
Yo, Nate, what's up with the music?

301
00:14:58,773 --> 00:14:59,858
Are you staying for dinner?

302
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,068
Because we're doing a nacho bar,
and I don't mean to brag,

303
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,195
but we go pretty hard
with the toppings station.

304
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,866
No, I actually have to leave
in a bit to go to an a cappella show.

305
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,328
Oh, wait. Are you serious?

306
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,581
Yeah, no one should ever have to go
to an a cappella show.

307
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,458
Unless you, like, love a cappella.

308
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,375
Okay.

309
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,295
I can tell I misrepresented myself
this morning.

310
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:24,341
And while I am somewhat okay with being
known as the girl with the senator mom,

311
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:27,385
I am not okay with being known
as a girl who likes a cappella.

312
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,304
I am going against my will.

313
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,351
Holy shit!
This autograph wall is insane!

314
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,645
Oh, my God. Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

315
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:37,646
Are you kidding me?

316
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,814
I love this place so much.

317
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,400
Well, by midnight tonight,
you'll know if you're in or not.

318
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,069
Don't remind me.

319
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:48,531
Look, the deliberations can get crazy,
but I'll just tell you...

320
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:49,699
I'm gonna vote for you.

321
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:53,953
I'm not sure Eric likes me enough.

322
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,872
Eric doesn't like anyone.

323
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,124
I'm his roommate and best friend,

324
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,126
and he regularly calls me
a "talentless hack."

325
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,461
You are, though, right?

326
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:02,796
Oh!

327
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:04,881
Don't worry about Eric.

328
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,508
I'll convince him you're worth a shot.

329
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,429
Holy shit, is that Elaine Stritch?

330
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,056
She's the greatest of all time.

331
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,808
When did she come here?
Was it during her--

332
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,732
Hey, um, I don't...

333
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,526
It's okay. Everybody's gone.

334
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,194
No, I don't want to do whatever this is.

335
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,655
Seriously?

336
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:31,074
Yeah. I just-- Are we cool?

337
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,244
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

338
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,704
-Yeah.
-Okay.

339
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,913
Great. Cool.

340
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,206
Well, I'll see ya. Thanks.

341
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,833
Thanks for the wall and stuff.

342
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,673
Are you sure about this?

343
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,383
Yeah, he said he'd be gone for hours.

344
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,013
-Fuck, this is hot.
-Yes.

345
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,474
Oh, my God!

346
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:58,768
Kimberly.

347
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:04,566
Sir, this is my fault,
and I take full responsibility.

348
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,110
If you want to report anyone, report me.

349
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:08,611
Chad Mickland.

350
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,113
Wait, is Nico a nickname?

351
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,073
Oh...

352
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,867
Professor Bennett,

353
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,202
I realize this was
a horrible lapse in judgment,

354
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,371
but I'm having a really
hard time in your class,

355
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:21,374
and I'm so far behind, so if you please
could just give me one more chance.

356
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,876
You've had plenty of chances.

357
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,378
You've arrived late to class.
You've missed assignments.

358
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,630
Now you made love on my desk.

359
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,048
We were only kissing,
he never took it out.

360
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,301
-Tell him.
-I don't think that's going to help.

361
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,719
But it's true, it wasn't out yet.

362
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:33,887
It does not help.

363
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,097
Get out of here.

364
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:37,932
Oh, okay, I'm going.

365
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:42,562
I would still love to hear your thoughts
on oat milk futures, though.

366
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,355
Then you can listen to my Ted Talk.

367
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:45,732
Got it.

368
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,198
Hey.

369
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,408
Hey, how's it going with you-know-who?

370
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,744
Actually, I kind of wanted
to talk to you about that.

371
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,412
I think I might be a sex addict.

372
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,289
I promise you you are not.

373
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:02,665
We had sex six times today.

374
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,375
Okay. That's a lot.

375
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,836
And it was almost seven,
but then a professor walked in on us.

376
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,963
I'm sorry. What?

377
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,508
Everything I see
makes me think of having sex with him.

378
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:15,220
Like, have you noticed how phallic
the lamp posts on this campus are?

379
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,679
I have not.

380
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,348
Okay. I'm here.

381
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,141
Can we take a quick photo for proof
and then we can leave?

382
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,602
I was thinking we would cheer really loud
in the first song

383
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,020
and then just scurry out.

384
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:25,313
-I can do that.
-Yeah.

385
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,231
Hey, guys.

386
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,358
Hey, did you turn in your submission?

387
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:29,692
Yeah, it's in.

388
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,486
Is everything okay?
You don't seem excited.

389
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,072
I don't know. I'm just...
I'm pretty sure I'm not getting in.

390
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,782
You're probably
just being tough on yourself.

391
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,158
No, but it's fine.

392
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,535
Maybe it's even for the best.

393
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,745
Hello, everyone.

394
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:46,584
We are the AcaFellas.
And we are ready to rock you.

395
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:52,048
Though to be clear,
we only do pop covers. A three, four...

396
00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:57,971
<i>Havana, oh, na-na </i>

397
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:02,267
<i>Half of my heart is in Havana </i>
<i>Oh, na-na </i>

398
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,645
-Yeah.
-Yes.

399
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,896
<i>Oh, na-na </i>

400
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,065
Okay. He saw us, now we can leave.

401
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,526
None of you ever let me do
anything this embarrassing.

402
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,695
<i>...somethin' 'bout his manners </i>
<i>Havana </i>

403
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,364
<i>He didn't walk up </i>
<i>With the "how you doin'?" </i>

404
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,909
Okay. Whitney is meeting up
with Canaan again tonight.

405
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,119
God, I love this.

406
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,747
I'm sorry. Are you invested
in the happiness of someone else?

407
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,624
I do not know how
to process this information.

408
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,501
She's kind of cool.

409
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:31,754
And of the three of my roommates,
she's definitely the most normal.

410
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:35,383
And it turns out, I am pretty good
at giving dating advice.

411
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:40,889
You are, for someone who introduced me
as a business acquaintance to a cashier.

412
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,891
Okay, look, I'm not a showy person.

413
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,226
I don't need to put on
a rainbow bathing suit

414
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,313
and run down the street screaming,
"I have a girlfriend!"

415
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,107
Oh, you have a girlfriend?

416
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,443
Yeah.

417
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:57,447
What? No. I mean, I don't know.

418
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:01,951
Do I?

419
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,078
Yeah.

420
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,622
You do.

421
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:07,373
Come here.

422
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,668
<i>Going so fast, every doubt we had </i>

423
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,047
<i>Is coming undone </i>

424
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:17,175
<i>Falling behind </i>
<i>With everything we left there </i>

425
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:19,886
Oh, shit.

426
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,138
Baby Senator's back y'all.

427
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:25,016
Uh-uh. We're going to have
to work on that nickname, loud girl.

428
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:26,893
Loud girl?

429
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,019
Excuse me?

430
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,229
You know, actually, I love that I am loud.

431
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,564
You are loud.

432
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:32,941
Glad you came back.

433
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,651
Of course I did.

434
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,028
I spent the last two hours
thinking about one thing.

435
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,613
Ditching Canaan for me?

436
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,156
What? No!

437
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,824
Nachos.

438
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:45,119
Darius, no one would pick you
over Canaan. That's insane.

439
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:04,430
Bela, Bela, Bela, Bela!

440
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:07,517
Bela Malhotra, you've been tapped
by the <i>Catullan. </i> Do you accept?

441
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,394
Yes! Yes, I do!

442
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:12,313
Oh, my God. You so deserve this.
Your packet was amazing.

443
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:17,026
I was dying reading your stuff.

444
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,362
You are an absolute genius!

445
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,322
I'm so proud of you!

446
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,658
Yes!

447
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,124
Hey, let's not have sex tonight.

448
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,168
Okay. I was gonna say the same thing.

449
00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:36,170
-Really?
-No.

450
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:38,256
It's all good.

451
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:42,093
Okay, other options, we can watch TV.

452
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,345
-TV sounds good.
-Okay.

453
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,680
I can't stay late, though.

454
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:49,350
I have to study since I public-sexed
my way out of an Econ credit.

455
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:50,309
Ah.

456
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,478
If you need help
with that Econ grade, I can help.

457
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,150
Theta keeps copies of mid-terms and finals

458
00:21:57,275 --> 00:21:59,068
that lazy professors
recycle year after year.

459
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,987
So if you want to know
what's on Bennett's test,

460
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:02,530
it's right here.

461
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:03,656
You can borrow it if you want.

462
00:22:04,407 --> 00:22:06,242
No, no, I can't do that.

463
00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:09,537
Cheating is sort of the antithesis
of everything I believe in.

464
00:22:10,788 --> 00:22:12,999
All right. Whatever you want.

465
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,961
What I want is to go back
to your room, please.

466
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,715
There's this new documentary
on factory farming

467
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:21,632
I really want to watch.

468
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:24,719
Wow! First no sex and now a farming doc.

469
00:22:25,595 --> 00:22:27,055
This night just keeps
getting hotter and hotter.

470
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,644
Ugh! One glass away
from getting Asian flush.

471
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:36,522
-You haven't had any yet.
-Exactly.

472
00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:43,404
Um, girlfriend,

473
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,741
should I ask why a girl named Maya
is calling you at 1:00 a.m.?

474
00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:49,243
Oh, my God, chill. She's just a friend.

475
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,370
She's actually coming to visit
in town this weekend.

476
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:53,206
To visit your vagina?

477
00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:56,417
Maya is not a threat to you, okay?

478
00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:58,419
She's my brother Nico's girlfriend.