1 00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:02,574 [cheers and applause] 2 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:05,573 [upbeat music] 3 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,636 - Welcome to "Nice One," 4 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,283 the game of competitive kindness 5 00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:09,538 where we ask comedians 6 00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,976 to look at the bright side of bad situations 7 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,612 and say nice things about them. 8 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,077 It's a battle of sweetness. 9 00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,715 I'm your host and live-action Care Bear, 10 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,091 Ron Funches. 11 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,449 RON: Today we have Finesse Mitchell, 12 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:21,917 Aida Rodriguez, 13 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,355 Pete Holmes! 14 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,160 [cheers and applause] 15 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,092 I'm gonna give the comedians a topic, 16 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:29,157 and they just have to say something nice about it. 17 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,496 And every time my friends... 18 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,771 [cheering] hear something they like, 19 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:32,968 you'll get some points. 20 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,330 Let's get started. 21 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,998 Here's our first topic... 22 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,868 Aida, what do you love about that? 23 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,438 - It strengthened my relationship with the Lord. 24 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,347 [laughter] 25 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,210 - Finesse. 26 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:48,977 - Not having health insurance 27 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:52,886 has not necessarily made me stop drinking and driving, 28 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,790 but I definitely won't drink and drive while texting. 29 00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:57,762 ' Cause that's dangerous. 30 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,731 - One step at a time. 31 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,830 - Deductibles are a motherfucker, bro. 32 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,032 [laughter] 33 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,103 - Pete. 34 00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:06,801 - The good thing about not having health insurance. 35 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,374 I'm 40. I don't wanna go to the doctor. 36 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,372 He's got thick fingers. 37 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,674 [laughter] 38 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:18,847 If you don't get it, you have a treat comin' your way. 39 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,349 - Our next topic is... 40 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,593 Pete, what do you love about that vape juice? 41 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,620 - Well, if you have like a pocket vape, 42 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:33,325 you'll win a lotta cool scar competitions after it blows your dick off? 43 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,766 They explode--I don't know if you remember that. 44 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,529 - Finesse, what do you like about vaping? 45 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:41,937 - What I like most about vaping 46 00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:45,609 is that it actually saves money on soap and toothpaste 47 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,909 because if you vape as soon as you wake up, 48 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,111 you forget to do all that other shit. 49 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,184 - Aida. 50 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:55,852 - Finally, a way to get throat cancer without drawing attention to myself. 51 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:59,053 [beeping] RON: That is the end of round one. 52 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,516 It is time to kick it up a notch! 53 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,155 Up next, the comedians will see a bunch of categories 54 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:07,191 and they just have to pick one, say something nice. 55 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:08,697 RON: Finesse? - Knee replacement. 56 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,099 - Okay! 57 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,530 Colin Kaepernick. - Why is he on there? 58 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,597 - Colin Kaepernick is the most controversial man in football, 59 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,967 but all those murderers, wife-beaters, and dog fighters 60 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,676 are right on his tail! 61 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,508 Finesse, say something nice about our brother Colin. 62 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,875 - He is an inspiration for all black men out there 63 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,875 with white boy names. 64 00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:33,421 RON: Pete, your category. 65 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:34,523 - Small problems. 66 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,385 [ding] 67 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,063 - Is that you? 68 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,531 [laughter] 69 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,930 RON: Terrible twos, 70 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:45,071 the time that you learn that parenthood and sobriety don't mix. 71 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:50,138 Pete, can you make me feel good about those adorable little assholes? 72 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:54,070 - Yeah, by the time this kid's student loans are due, uh, 73 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,807 I'll be dead. 74 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,254 - Aida, you're up, pick a category. - Cavity search. 75 00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:02,419 - Ooh! Goin' to the dentist. 76 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,789 What do you love about the dental office? 77 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:08,988 - It's the only guy that drugs me in a mask that's not a felon. 78 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,362 - Well, that's the end of the round. 79 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:15,563 RON: Give a round of applause! [cheers and applause] 80 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,826 Well, let's see what my friends thought. 81 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,195 Let's check our scores. 82 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,704 - Get outta here! RON: Oh...what?! 83 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,366 Finesse, you jumped out to the lead 84 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:28,235 with 1,035 niceness points. 85 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,735 RON: Aida, I love you. I love you the most. 86 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:31,947 I would rather make both of them leave. 87 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,279 RON: Thank you so much for playing. - Thank you for having me. 88 00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:35,454 - Please leave. 89 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,822 [laughter] 90 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,189 It's time to find out which one of you is the nicest of all 91 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,632 in our head-to-head contest of sweetness. 92 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:48,428 It's time for the nice-off in the Friend Zone! 93 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,198 Welcome to the Friend Zone. 94 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,944 [boom] You're gonna come at each other 95 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,239 with your hardest, your strongest, 96 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,572 your fiercest...compliments. 97 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:01,837 RON: Finesse. - Yes! 98 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,035 RON: You go first. 99 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,146 - Pete, even if you were not 6'6", 100 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,220 I would still look up to you. 101 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,291 - That's very sweet. 102 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:15,659 - Finesse is in exceptional shape, which makes sense 103 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,889 because he's constantly lifting my spirits. 104 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,425 RON: Oh... 105 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,060 shit, that was emotionally open! 106 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,629 - Sir, you are so striking on camera, 107 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,638 you make me wanna say, 108 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,910 [as Morgan Freeman] "First time I saw Andy walk into Shawshank..." 109 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,435 [applause] 110 00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,207 - Finesse, you have this glow about you. 111 00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:42,716 I keep a head shot of yours hanging from my rear view mirror 112 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:46,319 because it makes my car smell fantastic. 113 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,893 [bell dings] 114 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,221 - That's it! That is a haymaker! 115 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,787 It's over! 116 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,355 [cheers and applause] 117 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,603 PETE: We did it. We did it. 118 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,359 - All right, let's hear it for our comedians. 119 00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,567 Give 'em a round of applause! 120 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,530 [cheers and applause] 121 00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,637 RON: That was a brutal battle of kindness, 122 00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,969 but the nicest person in the world is... 123 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,376 [suspenseful music] 124 00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:12,108 Peter! - Aah! 125 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,620 - Thank you all for comin' by. 126 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,418 We'll see you next time on "Nice One." 127 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,091 - Nice one!