1
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:21,418
[kettle whistling]
2
00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,959
[whistling dies down]
3
00:00:39,918 --> 00:00:42,418
[woman whispering] Ugh… God damn it.
4
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,793
{\an8}[heavy machinery whirring]
5
00:00:58,084 --> 00:01:00,043
[monitor beeping]
6
00:01:05,751 --> 00:01:08,418
["Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing ta F' Wit"
playing on headphones]
7
00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:14,834
[woman] ♪ Inside the room
Dr. Doom, prepare for the boom, bam! ♪
8
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,709
♪ I slam ♪
9
00:01:17,793 --> 00:01:19,793
[heavy machinery whirring]
10
00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:22,834
♪ Scream like Tarzan ♪
11
00:01:22,918 --> 00:01:25,501
♪ I be tossin' and flossin'
My style is awesome ♪
12
00:01:25,584 --> 00:01:28,376
♪ I'm causing more family feuds
Than Richard Dawson ♪
13
00:01:28,459 --> 00:01:30,334
♪ And the survey said, you're dead ♪
14
00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:33,126
♪ Fatal Flying Guillotine
Chops off your fucking head ♪
15
00:01:33,209 --> 00:01:35,293
♪ Mister, who is that?
Ayo, the Wu is back ♪
16
00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:37,876
♪ Making-- go Bo! Bo!
Like I'm Super Cat ♪
17
00:01:38,918 --> 00:01:41,209
♪ Oh, no, here come
The Wu-Tang shogun ♪
18
00:01:41,293 --> 00:01:43,418
♪ Killer to my eardrum
Put the needle to the groove ♪
19
00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:45,709
♪ I gets rude and I'm forced
To fuck it up, my style-- ♪
20
00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:47,793
[heavy machinery whirring]
21
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,543
[pensive music playing]
22
00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:04,834
♪ More Afro than Rollo
Coming to a fork in the road ♪
23
00:02:04,918 --> 00:02:06,293
♪ Which way to go, just follow… ♪
24
00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:16,626
[pensive music continues playing]
25
00:02:34,293 --> 00:02:35,959
[speaking indistinctly]
26
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:43,793
[shrieks]
27
00:02:44,459 --> 00:02:46,293
[music increases in tempo]
28
00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,668
["Right Thurr" playing on speakers]
29
00:03:05,751 --> 00:03:08,584
This is nuts! This is so crazy!
30
00:03:08,668 --> 00:03:11,834
[woman] I've got a hard cider
and a bag of Crossbone Crunch.
31
00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:12,834
It's a party.
32
00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:15,834
I'm-- I'm just so,
so thrilled for you, Kate.
33
00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:19,459
To Comet Dibiasky, right? Cheers!
34
00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:22,959
It's gotta be, look…
It's gotta be an Oort cloud comet
35
00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:24,876
just based on where you saw it.
36
00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:27,126
Probably the last time
it was this close to the Sun
37
00:03:27,209 --> 00:03:29,418
was long before human civilization.
38
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,584
Look at the arc on that thing.
God, it's amazing.
39
00:03:31,668 --> 00:03:35,126
How would we find out the comet's
velocity in orbit, Professor Mindy?
40
00:03:35,209 --> 00:03:37,293
That is a good question. [sighs]
41
00:03:37,376 --> 00:03:40,209
This will be fun. I haven't done
orbital dynamics since grad school.
42
00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,043
Question is, what…
43
00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:45,418
What would Carl Sagan do?
44
00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:48,918
He would take it back to first principles.
45
00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:52,709
The topocentric vector is rho.
46
00:03:54,584 --> 00:03:56,543
Kate, what are the initial coordinates?
47
00:03:57,126 --> 00:03:58,043
[Kate] Twenty-one.
48
00:03:59,709 --> 00:04:00,918
Twenty-four.
49
00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:02,543
Thirteen.
50
00:04:02,626 --> 00:04:04,293
[Mindy] This is fun, huh, guys?
51
00:04:04,376 --> 00:04:07,501
-Sixty-seven.
-Wow. Now you got me pumped.
52
00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:08,834
-[man 1] Dr. Mindy.
-All right…
53
00:04:08,918 --> 00:04:10,626
How many terms do you have to calibrate…
54
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,501
[Mindy] Approximation
of coordinates in Marsden, '85.
55
00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:18,001
Now that we have the comet's orbit,
we will check the ephemeris
56
00:04:18,084 --> 00:04:22,501
and that will give us the distance
between the comet and planet Earth.
57
00:04:25,668 --> 00:04:28,126
Why does the ephemeris
keep getting lower and lower?
58
00:04:38,459 --> 00:04:40,459
[breathes deeply]
59
00:04:42,751 --> 00:04:43,876
Professor Mindy?
60
00:04:49,459 --> 00:04:50,668
Professor Mindy?
61
00:04:56,293 --> 00:04:58,084
You know what, guys? Let's…
62
00:04:58,918 --> 00:05:00,501
Let's call it a night, huh?
63
00:05:02,876 --> 00:05:04,959
[man 2] But what about
the relative position?
64
00:05:05,459 --> 00:05:08,543
I can't figure this one out.
Not tonight, guys. Sorry.
65
00:05:09,334 --> 00:05:11,918
-[man 1] Let's hit it, man. I'm beat.
-[woman 2] Me too.
66
00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:15,418
-[man 1] Kate, this was amazing.
-[man 2] Congratulations.
67
00:05:16,043 --> 00:05:17,001
Hey, Kate.
68
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:19,709
You stay.
69
00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:25,918
[phone dialing]
70
00:05:28,584 --> 00:05:30,043
[line ringing]
71
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:31,751
[man] Yeah, uh, Dr. Calder,
72
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:33,959
a Michigan State professor
and his grad students--
73
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:36,418
This is Dr. Calder.
You pulled me out of a meeting
74
00:05:36,501 --> 00:05:39,334
where I had to tell my team
we lost eight billion in funding.
75
00:05:39,418 --> 00:05:42,251
I am so sorry, Dr. Calder,
76
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:45,168
but we are seeing some
awfully strange orbital numbers
77
00:05:45,251 --> 00:05:47,084
on this comet we just found.
78
00:05:47,168 --> 00:05:49,001
They should be in your inbox, right?
79
00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:50,959
-[Calder] Is this it?
-Yeah. This is it.
80
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:53,418
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let me get
Dr. Oglethorpe on the line.
81
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:54,834
Please hold.
82
00:05:54,918 --> 00:05:57,293
Uh… Uh, I'm on hold.
83
00:05:57,376 --> 00:06:00,543
She's calling a Dr. Oglethorpe.
Who is that?
84
00:06:01,376 --> 00:06:04,126
Jesus Christ.
I'm gonna put them on speaker.
85
00:06:04,209 --> 00:06:06,001
[music playing on speaker]
86
00:06:06,084 --> 00:06:07,209
"Dr. Oglethorpe,
87
00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:10,709
head of the Planetary
Defense Coordination Office."
88
00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:12,668
-Is that a real place?
-I have no idea.
89
00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:15,751
[music continues playing]
90
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:22,668
[man on speaker] This is Dr. Oglethorpe.
91
00:06:22,751 --> 00:06:24,251
Yes, this is Jocelyn Calder
92
00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:25,418
from Kennedy Space Center.
93
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,043
[Oglethorpe] Hey, Jocelyn.
94
00:06:27,126 --> 00:06:29,168
Listen, we got a sighting
95
00:06:29,251 --> 00:06:31,543
of an NEO from Subaru telescope.
96
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:32,959
Okay. Uh…
97
00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:35,501
Why you just didn't report it
to the Minor Planet Center?
98
00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:38,376
[Calder] It's a professor
and a bunch of Michigan State students
99
00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,376
who identified something big.
100
00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:41,876
Really? How large?
101
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:43,334
[Calder] How big we talking?
102
00:06:43,418 --> 00:06:45,709
We clocked it in around
five to ten kilometers wide.
103
00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,293
About five to ten kilometers wide.
104
00:06:48,293 --> 00:06:49,793
Uh… That's a big boy.
105
00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:55,334
And, uh, was this professor the one
who first made the observations?
106
00:06:55,418 --> 00:06:57,668
Hi, yes. Uh, Dr. Mindy.
107
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,126
And-- And no,
PhD candidate Kate Dibiasky found it.
108
00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:02,959
I did the orbital calculations.
109
00:07:03,668 --> 00:07:07,293
I, uh… I study trace gasses
in dead galaxies.
110
00:07:07,376 --> 00:07:10,793
I haven't published in a while
so you probably haven't heard of me.
111
00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:11,959
But anyway, that doesn't matter.
112
00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,376
Sorry. What was your question?
113
00:07:14,459 --> 00:07:17,418
What are the most updated estimates
on its trajectory?
114
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:18,501
[Mindy] Kate?
115
00:07:20,668 --> 00:07:21,668
Um…
116
00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:27,084
I've been running it all day.
I keep getting the same result.
117
00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:30,918
A direct hit of Earth
in six months and 14 days.
118
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,043
Me too.
119
00:07:33,126 --> 00:07:35,376
[Calder] Matthew,
what are your calculations?
120
00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:40,543
Um, Scout program
is saying six months, 14 days.
121
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,834
[Calder] We got six months and 14 days.
122
00:07:42,918 --> 00:07:48,959
And it's roughly five
to ten kilometers wide.
123
00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:51,168
Which… Which, uh…
124
00:07:52,293 --> 00:07:53,668
[Mindy] Isn't that…
125
00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:56,126
an extinction-level event?
126
00:07:57,251 --> 00:07:59,376
Well, let's not be dramatic here.
127
00:08:01,543 --> 00:08:02,584
Okay, uh…
128
00:08:03,293 --> 00:08:07,334
First move is to get
the school field trip out here to DC.
129
00:08:07,418 --> 00:08:08,876
[Calder] Let's all calm down.
130
00:08:08,959 --> 00:08:11,209
I need the person who first had eyes
on the comet
131
00:08:11,293 --> 00:08:12,793
and the person in charge.
132
00:08:12,876 --> 00:08:13,876
What?
133
00:08:13,959 --> 00:08:15,334
[indistinct chatter]
134
00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:21,251
…share this data immediately
with Cambridge, Caltech and IAU.
135
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,334
Wait a minute.
This is classified information.
136
00:08:23,418 --> 00:08:24,751
[Mindy] What's happening?
137
00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,876
[Calder] I serve
at the discretion of the president.
138
00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:28,209
Is this really happening?
139
00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:30,709
…and the dead galaxy professor
to Hickam Air Force base.
140
00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:33,334
[Mindy] DC, right?
Hey! Hey, Kate. [clapping]
141
00:08:33,418 --> 00:08:35,334
This isn't happening, right?
142
00:08:35,418 --> 00:08:38,584
Kate, this isn't real, right? This is, uh…
143
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:41,168
This is just some sort
of alternate reality, right?
144
00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:42,084
Say something.
145
00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:43,793
I gotta go get high.
146
00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:48,084
Word is that I need you both in DC fast.
Only plane I got going there is that one.
147
00:08:48,168 --> 00:08:50,418
Anyway, I am Dr. Mindy. This is--
148
00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:52,251
-Hi! Oh.
-[soldier] Go, go, go!
149
00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:54,793
[soldiers yelling]
150
00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:57,751
-[Mindy] Where do we sit, Kate?
-I have no idea.
151
00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,668
[Mindy] Is there
any customary seating for…
152
00:08:59,751 --> 00:09:01,793
[upbeat tense music playing]
153
00:09:06,751 --> 00:09:10,668
What the fuck? Is this real?
Is this a goddamn joke?
154
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:11,876
Holy shit.
155
00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:21,043
This can't be happening. No.
156
00:09:22,251 --> 00:09:25,251
[music continues playing]
157
00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:00,543
[music ends]
158
00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:02,168
[birds chirping]
159
00:10:06,626 --> 00:10:07,793
[indistinct chatter]
160
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,168
-Brendon. You mean Brendon?
-Yeah, Brendon.
161
00:10:11,251 --> 00:10:15,084
You know, he didn't keep his head down.
It's all politics, Teddy. You know that.
162
00:10:15,168 --> 00:10:17,126
[Oglethorpe] You must be Randall and Kate.
163
00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:18,293
Yes. Yes, hi.
164
00:10:18,376 --> 00:10:20,626
I'm Dr. Oglethorpe,
but you can call me Teddy.
165
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:22,209
I'm sorry. Did you say your name…
166
00:10:22,293 --> 00:10:25,376
-I should call you "Teddy"? Teddy.
-[Oglethorpe] Teddy. Yeah.
167
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,126
[chuckles] Yeah, we call him Teddy
because he ain't no teddy bear.
168
00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:31,459
General Themes.
I'm the Pentagon's eyes on, uh,
169
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,418
you know, whatever this turns out to be.
170
00:10:33,501 --> 00:10:37,918
The president is famously late,
and you've had a long flight, so…
171
00:10:38,584 --> 00:10:40,001
[both sigh]
172
00:10:40,668 --> 00:10:44,293
-[sighs] Michigan State Spartans.
-[Kate] Mmm.
173
00:10:48,959 --> 00:10:52,626
-Is that the Oval Office?
-Yeah, that's the Oval Office, yeah.
174
00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:55,584
It's a lot smaller
than in the photographs.
175
00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:57,668
[Oglethorpe] The president
should be here shortly.
176
00:10:57,751 --> 00:10:58,918
She's already been briefed.
177
00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:00,501
Correct, Scott?
178
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,209
[Scott] That is correct.
179
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,793
Are we really about to tell
the president of the United States
180
00:11:05,876 --> 00:11:07,626
that we have just over six months
181
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:12,209
until humankind, basically every species,
is completely extinct?
182
00:11:12,293 --> 00:11:16,334
[breath trembling] Yeah. That's exactly
what we're about to do. Yeah.
183
00:11:18,584 --> 00:11:19,626
[grunts]
184
00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:21,251
[gags]
185
00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:23,959
[Mindy] Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh.
186
00:11:24,043 --> 00:11:27,043
[upbeat instrumental music playing]
187
00:12:13,584 --> 00:12:15,459
[woman 1] Yes, I said law enforcement.
188
00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:18,751
But I didn't want… I mean,
you told me that he was clean.
189
00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:20,876
[indistinct chatter]
190
00:12:20,959 --> 00:12:24,209
-Hello, Madam President. Dr. Oglethorpe.
-[guard] Step back, please.
191
00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:25,709
[Oglethorpe] Hello.
192
00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:30,251
Madam President, I'm Dr. Oglethorpe.
I believe Jocelyn briefed you to…
193
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,876
-Hey, Jason.
-[Jason] Yeah? What up, yo?
194
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,209
Come on, man. What the hell?
This is real world.
195
00:12:35,293 --> 00:12:36,918
Yeah. I know. We need five minutes.
196
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:40,668
We have a problem with our Supreme Court
nominee. Five minutes. Thank you.
197
00:12:41,709 --> 00:12:43,584
[door opens and closes]
198
00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:45,626
[laughter in distance]
199
00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:47,876
[indistinct chatter]
200
00:12:53,376 --> 00:12:57,584
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
201
00:12:57,668 --> 00:13:02,001
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
202
00:13:02,084 --> 00:13:06,584
♪ Happy birthday, dear Patty… ♪
203
00:13:08,543 --> 00:13:11,793
[woman 2] Just take a message,
and then, stuff like this happens,
204
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,543
and I don't know what's going on.
205
00:13:14,876 --> 00:13:17,584
I don't understand
how many more times I need to tell you…
206
00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:21,543
Well, there's a bunch of stuff about
their nominee not being qualified,
207
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:25,918
but I don't see
any articles about our thing.
208
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:28,334
Social media is just going on and on
209
00:13:28,418 --> 00:13:32,293
about that singer Riley Bina
and DJ Chello breaking up.
210
00:13:33,501 --> 00:13:35,209
That's just too bad.
211
00:13:36,126 --> 00:13:37,334
They seem like sweet kids.
212
00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:39,584
Hmm. I don't… I don't know them.
213
00:13:41,751 --> 00:13:42,626
Which is…
214
00:13:42,709 --> 00:13:44,418
-It's a shame though.
-Yeah.
215
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,668
-Do you know them, Kate?
-Yes.
216
00:13:46,751 --> 00:13:49,459
-But I don't really give a shit right now.
-Oh.
217
00:13:49,543 --> 00:13:51,168
[footsteps approaching]
218
00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:53,251
They charge
an arm and a leg for this stuff.
219
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,084
-Ten apiece ought to do it.
-[Mindy] Oh.
220
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,668
-[Scott] Grab a water.
-Thank you.
221
00:13:56,751 --> 00:13:57,959
I've got Kate as well.
222
00:13:58,043 --> 00:13:59,293
-Perfect.
-[Kate] Thank you.
223
00:13:59,376 --> 00:14:01,043
-Here's a 20.
-[Scott] Oh.
224
00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:05,376
-You got change?
-No.
225
00:14:08,418 --> 00:14:11,251
-I mean, I could ask the Marine.
-Yeah… [mumbles]
226
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:14,668
Uh, it's a Xanax.
227
00:14:14,751 --> 00:14:17,793
-I only take a quarter. Otherwise I get…
-[Oglethorpe] Ah…
228
00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:20,001
-Kate.
-Thank you.
229
00:14:20,751 --> 00:14:23,126
You know, you should be
careful with that much.
230
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:32,001
-[crickets chirping]
-[clock ticking]
231
00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:34,001
[cell phone vibrating]
232
00:14:34,084 --> 00:14:36,751
♪This eagle's place is in the sky ♪
233
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,209
[sighing]
234
00:14:42,376 --> 00:14:43,251
Oh!
235
00:14:44,001 --> 00:14:47,001
I'm very sorry. I have to be
in Okinawa by two o'clock tomorrow.
236
00:14:47,084 --> 00:14:49,418
-[Mindy] What?
-What? Are you serious?
237
00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:52,209
-This is very important.
-I have to go quell the natives.
238
00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:53,918
Tell your daughter I said hello.
239
00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:58,376
Isn't it important that he was
in the room with us? I mean, what…
240
00:14:58,459 --> 00:15:00,459
[upbeat jazz music playing]
241
00:15:05,543 --> 00:15:06,876
Where do I pay for these?
242
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:08,001
It's free.
243
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:11,834
Really?
244
00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:13,418
Yes, it's the White House.
245
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:21,959
The snacks are free.
246
00:15:22,751 --> 00:15:23,626
What?
247
00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:25,334
The general.
248
00:15:25,418 --> 00:15:28,209
He charged us
for the snacks, but they're free.
249
00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:29,459
Oh, gosh.
250
00:15:29,543 --> 00:15:31,584
[Kate] Why on earth would he do that?
251
00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:35,334
Hey, peeps, uh, it's not looking
like it's gonna happen tonight,
252
00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:37,334
and I feel horrible.
253
00:15:37,418 --> 00:15:39,334
We're gonna put you up
in a hotel somewhere.
254
00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:41,584
Excuse me, does the president
know why we're here?
255
00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:43,959
[Kate] You gotta be fucking kidding me.
256
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,209
[Mindy] They must not know
why we're here, right?
257
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,918
They know. Uh, but you heard 'em.
258
00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:50,334
-Do they even realize…
-[Oglethorpe] Be ready for tomorrow.
259
00:15:50,418 --> 00:15:51,751
…how long it took for us to get…
260
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,834
[suspenseful music playing]
261
00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:57,751
[Kate] And then they made us wait
for over seven hours,
262
00:15:57,834 --> 00:15:59,959
but they never called us in.
I couldn't believe it.
263
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,543
Of course they didn't call you in.
Kate, have you watched any news today?
264
00:16:03,626 --> 00:16:07,001
No, I've been pretty wrapped up
in our… project.
265
00:16:07,084 --> 00:16:08,543
Turn on your TV right now.
266
00:16:08,626 --> 00:16:11,293
President Orlean is in
the middle of an all-time shit storm.
267
00:16:11,918 --> 00:16:15,209
[reporter] Sheriff Wade Conlon
was already a controversial nominee,
268
00:16:15,293 --> 00:16:20,001
with no law degree and a record
of "shoot first and ask questions later."
269
00:16:20,084 --> 00:16:21,168
You watching?
270
00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:23,293
With his background as a nude life model…
271
00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:25,793
Yeah, I'm watching it right now.
272
00:16:25,876 --> 00:16:28,293
…the White House is in full crisis mode.
273
00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:29,543
And, get this.
274
00:16:29,626 --> 00:16:32,793
I found five former students
275
00:16:32,876 --> 00:16:37,709
who are willing to go on record
that Conlon got noticeably aroused
276
00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:39,418
when he posed for their drawing class.
277
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:40,959
I have no shame in what I did.
278
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,959
Now, should I say "noticeably aroused"?
279
00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:47,959
Or "engorged"? Because
I don't want this to read like clickbait.
280
00:16:48,043 --> 00:16:49,751
You know, this is a real article.
281
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:54,334
I just… Kate, can I get
something from you, please?
282
00:16:55,126 --> 00:16:56,293
[clears throat] Sorry.
283
00:16:57,126 --> 00:17:00,126
-Out of sorts tonight.
-Can we have this conversation?
284
00:17:00,209 --> 00:17:02,126
I feel like we're skirting around this.
285
00:17:02,209 --> 00:17:05,043
Do you have an issue with my mom?
Is that what this is all about?
286
00:17:05,126 --> 00:17:06,043
[music playing on TV]
287
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,834
[woman] You can't tell me what's going on?
288
00:17:07,918 --> 00:17:10,501
It's just the protocol.
Please, don't worry.
289
00:17:10,584 --> 00:17:15,251
Oh, Marshall got a 172
on his LSATs and we're celebrating.
290
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,709
Way to go, Marshall.
I'm proud of you, buddy.
291
00:17:18,793 --> 00:17:21,126
-Whoo! Thank you, Dad. Miss you.
-[chuckles]
292
00:17:21,209 --> 00:17:24,751
Hey, how's Evan feeling?
Are the new meds working out?
293
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:26,709
-I'm a solid four.
-[Mrs. Mindy] Ooh!
294
00:17:26,793 --> 00:17:28,126
He's a solid four.
295
00:17:28,209 --> 00:17:30,793
Well, that's better
than last month, right?
296
00:17:30,876 --> 00:17:34,126
You know, just remember to speak up
in the meeting tomorrow. Okay?
297
00:17:34,209 --> 00:17:35,793
-Yeah. I will.
-You get so quiet.
298
00:17:35,876 --> 00:17:38,459
When it's time to take credit,
you kind of…
299
00:17:38,543 --> 00:17:43,043
She asked you if you were a lesbian.
She did not say that you were a lesbian.
300
00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:44,959
-It was a question.
-Hey, look, I'm…
301
00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:48,251
Can I sit down with your mom
to have lunch in, like, seven months?
302
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:52,626
Seven… That's weirdly
specific and distant.
303
00:17:53,126 --> 00:17:54,668
What is… This is my mom.
304
00:17:54,751 --> 00:17:57,459
[upbeat tense music playing]
305
00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:02,584
[Orlean] So… Oh!
306
00:18:02,668 --> 00:18:06,084
I heard there's an asteroid
or a comet or something
307
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,001
that you don't like the looks of.
308
00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:12,459
[sighs] Tell me about it and then
tell me why you're telling me about it.
309
00:18:12,543 --> 00:18:14,251
You got 20 minutes.
310
00:18:14,334 --> 00:18:16,251
-Twenty minutes?
-That's you, Doc.
311
00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:18,418
[softly] Go. Now. Go.
312
00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:20,043
Uh… [clears throat]
313
00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:22,168
Madam President. [breathing heavily]
314
00:18:22,251 --> 00:18:23,709
[clears throat] Uh…
315
00:18:23,793 --> 00:18:27,168
Approximately 36 hours ago,
316
00:18:27,251 --> 00:18:31,834
uh, PhD candidate
Kate Dibiasky here discovered
317
00:18:32,501 --> 00:18:34,043
a very large comet.
318
00:18:34,126 --> 00:18:34,959
Oh.
319
00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:36,834
-[Mindy] Yeah.
-Good for you.
320
00:18:36,918 --> 00:18:39,584
A comet between
five to ten kilometers across,
321
00:18:39,668 --> 00:18:41,918
that we estimate came from the, uh…
322
00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:44,293
from the… from the Oort cloud.
323
00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:45,251
[Orlean] Wow.
324
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:47,834
Which is the outermost part
of the solar system.
325
00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:49,501
And, um…
326
00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:53,459
And using Gauss's method
of orbital determination
327
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:58,668
and the average astrometric uncertainty
of 0.04 arcseconds, we then asked--
328
00:18:58,751 --> 00:19:03,043
-[chuckling] Whoa! What the hell is… What?
-I'm so bored. Just tell us what it is.
329
00:19:03,126 --> 00:19:05,334
-What? Stop what?
-[Jason] Seriously, stop.
330
00:19:05,418 --> 00:19:08,459
What Dr. Mindy is trying to say is
there's a comet headed towards Earth,
331
00:19:08,543 --> 00:19:10,751
and according to NASA's computers,
332
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,959
that object is gonna hit the Pacific Ocean
333
00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:15,209
at 62 miles due west
off the coast of Chile.
334
00:19:15,293 --> 00:19:17,209
Then what happens? Like, a tidal wave?
335
00:19:17,293 --> 00:19:20,709
No. It will be far more catastrophic.
336
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:25,293
There'll be mile-high tsunamis
fanning out all across the globe.
337
00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:32,376
If this comet makes impact, it will have
the power of a billion Hiroshima bombs.
338
00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:36,418
[exhales sharply] There'll be
magnitude 10 or 11 earthquakes--
339
00:19:36,501 --> 00:19:39,418
You're breathing weird.
It's, uh, making me uncomfortable.
340
00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:42,043
I'm sorry, I'm just trying
to articulate the science.
341
00:19:42,126 --> 00:19:45,168
I know. But it's so stressful.
I'm trying to, like, listen--
342
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,959
[Mindy] I don't think you understand
the gravity of the situation.
343
00:19:48,043 --> 00:19:49,918
I'm trying to articulate it
the best I can--
344
00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:54,834
Madam President, this comet
is what we call a planet-killer.
345
00:19:54,918 --> 00:19:56,376
[Mindy] That is correct.
346
00:19:58,834 --> 00:19:59,918
Mmm-hmm.
347
00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:02,376
So how certain is this?
348
00:20:02,459 --> 00:20:05,584
There's 100% certainty of impact.
349
00:20:05,668 --> 00:20:07,709
Please, don't say 100%.
350
00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:10,376
Can we just call it
a potentially significant event?
351
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:11,501
-[Orlean] Yeah.
-Yes.
352
00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:14,293
But it isn't potentially going to happen.
353
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,543
It is going to happen.
354
00:20:16,626 --> 00:20:20,126
Exactly. 99.78% to be exact.
355
00:20:20,209 --> 00:20:22,334
Oh, great. Okay, so it's not 100%.
356
00:20:22,418 --> 00:20:25,293
Well, scientists never like to say 100%.
357
00:20:25,376 --> 00:20:27,834
Call it 70% and let's just move on.
358
00:20:27,918 --> 00:20:29,584
But it's not even close to 70%.
359
00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:32,001
You cannot go around saying to people
360
00:20:32,084 --> 00:20:34,834
that there's 100% chance
that they're gonna die.
361
00:20:34,918 --> 00:20:37,834
[chuckling] You know? It's just nuts.
362
00:20:37,918 --> 00:20:40,501
We should get some of
our scientists on this, you know.
363
00:20:40,584 --> 00:20:44,293
No offense, but you're just two people
that walked in here with--
364
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,584
Dr. Oglethorpe.
365
00:20:45,668 --> 00:20:47,209
Dr. Ov… Ogilvy. Yeah.
366
00:20:47,293 --> 00:20:50,834
I've been head of planetary defense
at NASA for 15 years.
367
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:55,376
And Dr. Mindy is a tenured professor
of astronomy at Michigan State,
368
00:20:55,459 --> 00:20:58,418
where Miss Dibiasky
is a doctoral candidate.
369
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:01,126
-[Orlean] Good.
-I'm sorry. Did you say Michigan State?
370
00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:03,793
Exactly. They have
an excellent astronomy department.
371
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,293
-[Mindy] Yes.
-Come on, bro.
372
00:21:05,376 --> 00:21:07,668
You kidding?
You wanna see my fucking SAT scores?
373
00:21:07,751 --> 00:21:09,751
Okay, let's bottom line this.
374
00:21:09,834 --> 00:21:11,709
What is this gonna cost me?
375
00:21:11,793 --> 00:21:13,918
You know, what's the ask here?
376
00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:17,084
There are government plans in place.
377
00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,584
Um, actions we can take through NASA.
378
00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:22,626
-[Mindy breathing heavily]
-Drones that can be outfitted with nukes
379
00:21:22,709 --> 00:21:27,126
to deflect and hopefully
change the orbit of this comet.
380
00:21:27,209 --> 00:21:28,959
We must act now.
381
00:21:29,043 --> 00:21:31,626
[Orlean] Oh, hey.
All right, all right, all right.
382
00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:34,043
-When are the midterms? Three weeks.
-Three weeks.
383
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,834
So, if this breaks before then,
we lose Congress.
384
00:21:36,918 --> 00:21:38,876
Then there's nothing we can do about it.
385
00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:39,876
It'll be gridlocked.
386
00:21:39,959 --> 00:21:43,959
-The timing is just… It's atrocious.
-[drawer opens and closes]
387
00:21:45,043 --> 00:21:51,168
Okay, at this very moment,
I say we sit tight and assess.
388
00:21:51,251 --> 00:21:52,501
[Jason] Sit tight and assess.
389
00:21:52,584 --> 00:21:55,668
[Orlean] Let's get some other people
on this. Some Ivy Leaguers.
390
00:21:55,751 --> 00:21:58,501
And you and I will review the NASA plans.
391
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,334
-Okay?
-I'd greatly appreciate that.
392
00:22:00,418 --> 00:22:03,626
Am I to understand correctly that,
393
00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:07,376
after all of the information
you've received today,
394
00:22:08,084 --> 00:22:12,334
the decision you're making
is to "sit tight and assess"?
395
00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:15,668
-I'm sorry, who is she?
-Who the fuck are you? Aren't you her son?
396
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,459
I'm the fucking Chief of Staff,
Boy with the Dragon Tattoo.
397
00:22:18,543 --> 00:22:19,834
So I'm doing fine.
398
00:22:19,918 --> 00:22:22,584
[whispers] We gotta get out of here.
This place is a freak show.
399
00:22:22,668 --> 00:22:25,251
[Mindy] I think what Miss Dibiasky
is trying to say
400
00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:30,418
is that the idea of sitting tight
is an extremely, extremely dangerous--
401
00:22:30,501 --> 00:22:32,168
Oh, oh! [laughing]
402
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,459
[sighs]
403
00:22:33,543 --> 00:22:36,793
Thank you.
One good thing happened today. [chuckles]
404
00:22:36,876 --> 00:22:38,959
Okay, funny story. [clears throat]
405
00:22:39,043 --> 00:22:40,709
When I was running for president,
406
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:44,001
I had to sneak cigarettes for
the whole first month of the campaign
407
00:22:44,084 --> 00:22:46,334
because, you know,
photographs of me smoking
408
00:22:46,418 --> 00:22:48,376
went for, what, a hundred grand a pop?
409
00:22:48,459 --> 00:22:49,543
[chuckles]
410
00:22:49,626 --> 00:22:52,584
So, I'm always hiding, but,
you know, I just got sick of it.
411
00:22:53,209 --> 00:22:56,251
And I just said, "You know what,
I'm gonna smoke whenever I want to."
412
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:58,459
[chuckles] Mmm…
413
00:23:00,709 --> 00:23:01,834
Guess what happened?
414
00:23:02,709 --> 00:23:06,543
-I went up three points in the polls.
-[Jason] They loved that she kept it real.
415
00:23:06,626 --> 00:23:08,501
They love watching a smokeshow smoke.
416
00:23:08,584 --> 00:23:11,626
I can't think of another president
that I'd ever wanna see in Playboy.
417
00:23:11,709 --> 00:23:15,043
Do you know how many, uh,
"the world is ending" meetings
418
00:23:15,126 --> 00:23:16,751
that we've had over the years?
419
00:23:16,834 --> 00:23:20,876
Economic collapse, loose nukes,
car exhaust killing the atmosphere.
420
00:23:20,959 --> 00:23:23,709
-Rogue AI.
-Drought, famine, plague…
421
00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:25,001
-Uh…
-[Orlean] Everything.
422
00:23:25,084 --> 00:23:28,876
[chuckles] Alien invasion,
population growth, hole in the ozone--
423
00:23:28,959 --> 00:23:29,959
Jason, hey.
424
00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:32,209
-Read the room for once in your life.
-Sorry, Mom.
425
00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:35,043
Point is, I have a job to do.
426
00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:37,876
You do understand
that this is an apocalyptic event.
427
00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:43,293
This is a large celestial body
heading towards our planet at speeds--
428
00:23:43,376 --> 00:23:45,376
Dr. Mindy, I hear you.
429
00:23:46,501 --> 00:23:47,668
I hear you.
430
00:23:48,668 --> 00:23:51,251
-You should be proud.
-[breathes deeply] Thank you.
431
00:23:51,334 --> 00:23:54,709
I'm taking it very seriously.
I'm taking it straight in the heart.
432
00:23:54,793 --> 00:23:57,918
I'm so glad to hear that.
You have no idea.
433
00:23:58,001 --> 00:24:03,043
Hey, gang, obviously everything we talked
about in here, super classified, right?
434
00:24:03,126 --> 00:24:04,543
-[Oglethorpe] Yeah.
-Cool.
435
00:24:04,626 --> 00:24:05,793
Thanks for dressing up.
436
00:24:12,001 --> 00:24:14,334
[upbeat tense music playing]
437
00:24:14,418 --> 00:24:17,084
[Mindy] You're saying
we're just gonna leak it to the press?
438
00:24:17,168 --> 00:24:19,668
-Isn't that illegal?
-Hell yeah, we're going to leak it.
439
00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:22,376
In case you didn't notice,
the White House just blew us off.
440
00:24:22,459 --> 00:24:24,418
My boyfriend, Phillip,
says he knows a reporter
441
00:24:24,501 --> 00:24:26,501
from the New York Herald
who will talk to us.
442
00:24:26,584 --> 00:24:29,293
-Adul Grelio.
-Good. He's a heavy hitter.
443
00:24:29,376 --> 00:24:32,584
And I'll reach out to more of
the scientific community on the down-low.
444
00:24:33,918 --> 00:24:38,459
-I just feel like this isn't what I do.
-You're just telling a story.
445
00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:39,793
Keep it simple.
446
00:24:40,501 --> 00:24:41,626
No math.
447
00:24:42,834 --> 00:24:44,209
But it's all math.
448
00:24:45,043 --> 00:24:47,918
[music continues playing]
449
00:24:51,209 --> 00:24:53,501
[uplifting electronic music playing]
450
00:24:56,626 --> 00:24:59,376
[male voice on video] It all started
with a connection.
451
00:24:59,459 --> 00:25:03,084
A simple gesture that created so much.
452
00:25:03,918 --> 00:25:05,043
So many choices.
453
00:25:06,251 --> 00:25:08,584
Sometimes, it can even feel like too much.
454
00:25:09,418 --> 00:25:10,918
Until now.
455
00:25:11,001 --> 00:25:13,334
Introducing BASH LiiF.
456
00:25:14,126 --> 00:25:16,834
Life, without the stress of living.
457
00:25:16,918 --> 00:25:18,543
[cheers and applause]
458
00:25:18,626 --> 00:25:21,459
[woman on PA] Before we introduce
the founder and CEO of BASH,
459
00:25:21,543 --> 00:25:23,834
please remember
to avoid direct eye contact,
460
00:25:23,918 --> 00:25:27,501
sudden movements,
coughing or negative facial expressions.
461
00:25:27,584 --> 00:25:30,959
And now, please welcome
Sir Peter Isherwell.
462
00:25:31,043 --> 00:25:32,668
[cheers and applause]
463
00:25:34,043 --> 00:25:35,834
[man 1] We love you, Peter!
464
00:25:39,959 --> 00:25:42,959
[audience cheering loudly]
465
00:25:46,126 --> 00:25:48,168
[man 2] We love you, Peter!
466
00:25:48,251 --> 00:25:49,418
Hello, everyone.
467
00:25:49,501 --> 00:25:51,876
All of my life's work,
468
00:25:52,501 --> 00:25:57,459
really, I see has been driven
by an inexpressible need for a friend
469
00:25:58,043 --> 00:26:00,459
who would understand and soothe me.
470
00:26:00,543 --> 00:26:05,834
And you know, now all those years of work
have come to fruition with BASH LiiF,
471
00:26:05,918 --> 00:26:10,418
our new BASH 14.3, uh, phone
472
00:26:10,501 --> 00:26:14,793
is fully integrated
into your every feeling and desire
473
00:26:14,876 --> 00:26:17,376
without you needing
to say one single word.
474
00:26:17,459 --> 00:26:18,334
If I feel…
475
00:26:19,043 --> 00:26:20,334
-Sad.
-[boy] Afraid.
476
00:26:20,418 --> 00:26:21,501
Or alone.
477
00:26:21,584 --> 00:26:25,793
The BASH 14.3 phone,
when set to the life setting,
478
00:26:25,876 --> 00:26:29,001
instantly senses my mood
through blood pressure…
479
00:26:29,084 --> 00:26:31,584
-Uh, heartbeats and--
-[phone chimes]
480
00:26:31,668 --> 00:26:34,043
[automated voice] Your vitals
show that you are sad.
481
00:26:34,126 --> 00:26:35,876
This will cheer you up, Peter.
482
00:26:35,959 --> 00:26:40,626
[girl] ♪ You are my best friend
You are my best friend ♪
483
00:26:40,709 --> 00:26:43,584
[singing indistinctly]
♪ You make me happy… ♪
484
00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:46,459
[Peter laughing] Oh, that's wonderful.
485
00:26:46,543 --> 00:26:48,709
That video. Um…
486
00:26:48,793 --> 00:26:52,126
It also, seriously, uh, schedules
487
00:26:52,209 --> 00:26:55,418
a therapy session
with a nearby professional,
488
00:26:55,501 --> 00:27:00,251
so we can make sure that
these sad feelings never ever ever return.
489
00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:03,001
-May I say something, Mr. Isherwell?
-[Peter] No.
490
00:27:03,084 --> 00:27:07,584
And to support, uh, BASH LiiF,
uh, I wanna officially announce…
491
00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,084
Oh, give me the phones. They're not yours.
492
00:27:12,959 --> 00:27:15,168
-[softly] Say bye.
-Bye, Mr. Isherwell.
493
00:27:15,251 --> 00:27:16,501
Bye, Peter.
494
00:27:16,584 --> 00:27:18,501
Um, I love you, Peter.
495
00:27:18,584 --> 00:27:21,376
Are you sure the video
of the puppy on the rooster
496
00:27:21,459 --> 00:27:25,459
is optimizing our prepubescent
sense memory consumer sector?
497
00:27:25,543 --> 00:27:27,209
I find the bird quite threatening.
498
00:27:27,293 --> 00:27:30,334
We will cross-check
the data on that, for sure.
499
00:27:30,418 --> 00:27:33,001
Mr. Isherwell, Paul Debent
wanted me to give this to you.
500
00:27:33,084 --> 00:27:35,834
He got it from
an astronomer friend of his in Mexico.
501
00:27:38,209 --> 00:27:39,043
Oh, my.
502
00:27:40,418 --> 00:27:43,043
What other confirmation
do we have on this, Adul?
503
00:27:43,126 --> 00:27:46,459
[Adul] I've spoken to Dr. Oglethorpe in DC
and he confirmed it and all the math.
504
00:27:46,543 --> 00:27:48,543
Then I showed it
to Dr. Franks at Columbia,
505
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:50,876
and he almost fell out of his chair.
506
00:27:50,959 --> 00:27:54,918
So, look, I have to admit.
I was very skeptical at first,
507
00:27:55,001 --> 00:27:56,626
but this is all quite credible.
508
00:27:56,709 --> 00:27:58,959
The calculations are credible.
509
00:27:59,459 --> 00:28:00,293
Jesus.
510
00:28:00,793 --> 00:28:02,793
And the president
really said to sit tight?
511
00:28:02,876 --> 00:28:05,626
-[Mindy] Yes. That's correct.
-"Sit tight and assess."
512
00:28:05,709 --> 00:28:07,751
She's probably worried about the midterms.
513
00:28:07,834 --> 00:28:09,418
We need to move fast.
514
00:28:09,501 --> 00:28:11,376
The feds will claim breach of security,
515
00:28:11,459 --> 00:28:13,418
so make sure these two
get a pro bono attorney.
516
00:28:13,501 --> 00:28:16,501
-[woman 1] You can use my attorney.
-You can certainly afford it now.
517
00:28:16,584 --> 00:28:17,876
We're gonna hire a lawyer?
518
00:28:17,959 --> 00:28:20,209
-[woman 1] That wasn't necessary.
-[woman 2] It was.
519
00:28:20,293 --> 00:28:21,834
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry.
520
00:28:21,918 --> 00:28:23,209
That was not called for.
521
00:28:23,293 --> 00:28:25,126
[Mindy] I just have a question here.
522
00:28:25,209 --> 00:28:27,668
How is it criminal if we just tell people,
523
00:28:27,751 --> 00:28:31,043
like the public, you know,
what we saw, and tell them the truth?
524
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,209
Make sure this one gets media training
before he hits the shows.
525
00:28:34,293 --> 00:28:35,918
He seems a step slow.
526
00:28:36,001 --> 00:28:38,126
What does that mean,
I need media training?
527
00:28:39,084 --> 00:28:41,834
They want us on a show
called The Daily Rip
528
00:28:41,918 --> 00:28:44,543
first thing in the morning
before the article comes out.
529
00:28:44,626 --> 00:28:46,459
You guys know what The Daily Rip is?
530
00:28:46,543 --> 00:28:49,043
It's like the best show.
Everyone wants to be on it.
531
00:28:49,126 --> 00:28:50,959
Brie and Jack have legendary chemistry.
532
00:28:51,043 --> 00:28:52,293
They asked me to go on once.
533
00:28:52,376 --> 00:28:54,543
I was so excited
I couldn't sleep for two nights,
534
00:28:54,626 --> 00:28:55,959
but then they cut me for time.
535
00:28:56,043 --> 00:28:57,793
Still hurts me to think about that.
536
00:28:57,876 --> 00:29:01,626
I know what show you're talking about.
My wife loves that show.
537
00:29:01,709 --> 00:29:04,501
Okay, can you just tell me
what this is all about? Okay?
538
00:29:04,584 --> 00:29:07,959
'Cause you haven't read my article
on Conlon getting hard in the art class.
539
00:29:08,043 --> 00:29:10,834
Now Adul Grelio has come down
from his mountaintop for your thing.
540
00:29:10,918 --> 00:29:13,668
You won't even give me
a lousy pronoun? Come on.
541
00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:16,751
A comet, bigger than the asteroid
that destroyed the dinosaurs,
542
00:29:16,834 --> 00:29:18,209
is headed directly at Earth.
543
00:29:18,293 --> 00:29:20,584
If it isn't deflected,
the entire planet dies.
544
00:29:21,126 --> 00:29:22,668
Wait, what did you just say?
545
00:29:22,751 --> 00:29:24,043
It's for a video game.
546
00:29:27,501 --> 00:29:28,834
Are you being serious?
547
00:29:29,584 --> 00:29:30,584
Yes.
548
00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:34,126
Oh, my God.
549
00:29:34,209 --> 00:29:36,876
-[pleasant piano music playing]
-[inaudible dialogue]
550
00:29:41,126 --> 00:29:43,126
[gasping]
551
00:29:44,376 --> 00:29:47,084
Oh, my God! What the fuck, man?
552
00:29:47,168 --> 00:29:49,959
I love you too. All right. Yeah.
553
00:29:50,584 --> 00:29:53,001
Hey, guys,
we gotta keep walking, all right?
554
00:29:53,084 --> 00:29:54,251
Come on.
555
00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:56,209
[pensive music playing]
556
00:30:30,834 --> 00:30:33,501
-You must be Dr. Mindy and Miss Dibiasky?
-Yes.
557
00:30:33,584 --> 00:30:35,876
Jack and Brie are so excited
to have you on the show.
558
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,793
Really? They know who we are?
559
00:30:37,876 --> 00:30:40,209
White House is denying
they even met with them.
560
00:30:40,293 --> 00:30:43,834
Well, assholes will always be assholes.
561
00:30:52,793 --> 00:30:54,668
Hi, I'm Thalia.
562
00:30:54,751 --> 00:30:57,043
The Herald sent me
to help with your wardrobe.
563
00:30:58,459 --> 00:30:59,876
Oh, I'm not wearing that.
564
00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:05,459
[woman 1] Yeah, you actually have
really great facial structure.
565
00:31:05,543 --> 00:31:08,376
How 'bout if we trim
this beard down a little bit and--
566
00:31:08,459 --> 00:31:09,876
I love your hair.
567
00:31:10,668 --> 00:31:11,584
Thank you.
568
00:31:12,418 --> 00:31:16,001
How are we gonna do this?
I talk about the discovery and you…
569
00:31:16,709 --> 00:31:19,126
talk about how urgent it is
that we take action.
570
00:31:19,209 --> 00:31:21,459
[whispers] How do we say it? I mean…
571
00:31:22,751 --> 00:31:26,168
-Shouldn't we practice it or write it out?
-[woman 1] Can I get you some water?
572
00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:28,501
Yeah, water. Yeah, water would be nice.
573
00:31:29,668 --> 00:31:32,459
You are here now.
You are here now. You are here now.
574
00:31:32,543 --> 00:31:37,418
[repeating] Eleven benevolent elephants.
Eleven benevolent elephants.
575
00:31:38,168 --> 00:31:40,084
-Just gonna take some Xanax.
-Hmm.
576
00:31:41,168 --> 00:31:42,876
[Mindy] I take it sometimes when I…
577
00:31:44,501 --> 00:31:46,668
Kate, not this time. Not this time.
578
00:31:51,459 --> 00:31:56,334
[sighs] He just needs to breathe
and speak up. You know?
579
00:31:56,418 --> 00:31:57,918
He's got this. I know he does.
580
00:31:58,001 --> 00:32:00,293
[breathing heavily]
581
00:32:03,251 --> 00:32:04,501
Oh, God. Come on.
582
00:32:05,376 --> 00:32:07,168
[straining, exhales]
583
00:32:08,168 --> 00:32:09,001
[straining]
584
00:32:09,084 --> 00:32:12,251
You are here now.
You are here now. You are here now.
585
00:32:12,334 --> 00:32:13,376
You're here now.
586
00:32:17,584 --> 00:32:18,501
Oh, God!
587
00:32:18,584 --> 00:32:20,418
[Jack] You gotta
stop drinking the cheap shit.
588
00:32:20,501 --> 00:32:21,709
[Brie scoffs]
589
00:32:21,793 --> 00:32:23,793
-It's only two glasses.
-Yeah, two and a half.
590
00:32:23,876 --> 00:32:25,584
-[man] We're 20 out.
-Always running late.
591
00:32:25,668 --> 00:32:27,584
[man] Let's make sure that our eye lines,
592
00:32:27,668 --> 00:32:30,293
that we're not looking
at Jack and Brie, please, all right?
593
00:32:30,376 --> 00:32:31,751
And cue the package.
594
00:32:31,834 --> 00:32:33,376
Two glasses. Here we go again.
595
00:32:33,459 --> 00:32:36,209
[theme music playing]
596
00:32:52,084 --> 00:32:54,751
-Ladies okay?
-Yes. And we're live.
597
00:32:54,834 --> 00:32:58,126
Brie, I've got something for you today.
Listen to this.
598
00:32:58,209 --> 00:33:01,084
President Orlean's Supreme Court nominee,
Sheriff Conlon,
599
00:33:01,168 --> 00:33:06,251
has now been identified
as appearing in a softcore porn cable show
600
00:33:06,334 --> 00:33:07,834
-from the early '90s…
-Ridiculous.
601
00:33:07,918 --> 00:33:10,876
-…called Satin Sheet Nights.
-[imperceptible]
602
00:33:10,959 --> 00:33:13,793
-This story just keeps going and going…
-[Brie on TV] Oh, my gosh.
603
00:33:13,876 --> 00:33:15,168
[whispers] Is that Riley Bina?
604
00:33:15,251 --> 00:33:17,209
-[Brie] Yes, well, it's a…
-[Mindy] Really?
605
00:33:17,709 --> 00:33:19,334
[Brie speaking indistinctly on TV]
606
00:33:19,418 --> 00:33:22,251
[whispers] She looks a lot smaller
in person, doesn't she?
607
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,793
-[Brie] Ride 'em, cowboy.
-[laughing]
608
00:33:24,876 --> 00:33:25,959
[purring]
609
00:33:26,043 --> 00:33:27,376
-[Jack] Good.
-[Brie] Hee-haw!
610
00:33:27,459 --> 00:33:30,126
Hey, everyone. I'm Sean from the show.
611
00:33:30,209 --> 00:33:33,918
Uh, we're gonna do… Jack and Brie
are gonna do ten on the SCOTUS nominee.
612
00:33:34,001 --> 00:33:37,293
-Riley Bina, you'll come on and--
-I get to talk about my single, right?
613
00:33:37,376 --> 00:33:40,334
A portion of the profits
goes to the manatee sanctuaries.
614
00:33:40,418 --> 00:33:42,418
Yes, but the, uh, breakup first.
615
00:33:42,501 --> 00:33:45,126
And then Dr. Mindy and Miss Dibiasky,
616
00:33:45,209 --> 00:33:47,626
you'll come on and talk about
that planet you discovered.
617
00:33:47,709 --> 00:33:49,501
Uh… Comet. We found a comet.
618
00:33:49,584 --> 00:33:51,709
They know what we're here
to talk about, right?
619
00:33:51,793 --> 00:33:54,501
Of course. Jack and Brie
love doing science segments.
620
00:33:54,584 --> 00:33:56,418
Just remember, keep it light, fun.
621
00:33:56,501 --> 00:33:58,918
-Jack and Brie love having a good time.
-[sighing]
622
00:33:59,001 --> 00:34:00,543
That's not promising.
623
00:34:00,626 --> 00:34:03,751
You guys discovered a comet?
That's so dope.
624
00:34:03,834 --> 00:34:05,959
I have a tattoo
of a shooting star on my back.
625
00:34:06,043 --> 00:34:07,876
-Oh.
-That's terrific. [chuckles]
626
00:34:07,959 --> 00:34:08,959
[Riley chuckles]
627
00:34:13,418 --> 00:34:17,793
We heard about your breakup too,
so we just wanna say…
628
00:34:18,751 --> 00:34:20,376
We're very sorry, right?
629
00:34:20,459 --> 00:34:23,334
We're real sorry.
You seem like a… great person.
630
00:34:24,126 --> 00:34:26,626
Why don't you mind
your own business, you old fuck?
631
00:34:26,709 --> 00:34:27,834
[girls chuckle]
632
00:34:29,543 --> 00:34:30,543
Okay.
633
00:34:33,168 --> 00:34:35,334
Not gonna lie, but, um, my friends
634
00:34:35,418 --> 00:34:38,793
and my Vroom Vroom Army
have been so amazing.
635
00:34:38,876 --> 00:34:42,543
So, I'm really grateful for that.
But, yeah, I can't lie. It's been hard.
636
00:34:42,626 --> 00:34:45,334
-You're an inspiration. It's incredible.
-To so many.
637
00:34:45,418 --> 00:34:47,293
You're really owning that pain.
638
00:34:47,376 --> 00:34:51,084
You know, Jack, I feel like
there's some kind of conversation
639
00:34:51,168 --> 00:34:54,543
that we need to be having here.
Is there any message
640
00:34:54,626 --> 00:34:58,793
that you would like
to send to your, uh, ex, DJ Chello?
641
00:34:59,834 --> 00:35:01,126
You know, um…
642
00:35:01,209 --> 00:35:02,668
[Jack] If there's something--
643
00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:04,334
-Yeah.
-Right here in this camera.
644
00:35:04,418 --> 00:35:07,709
Tell him. As if that was him.
You tell him exactly what you're thinking.
645
00:35:07,793 --> 00:35:09,251
Okay, um… [clears throat]
646
00:35:10,584 --> 00:35:11,543
[sighs]
647
00:35:11,626 --> 00:35:12,709
Chell.
648
00:35:13,543 --> 00:35:19,293
[sighs] I still love you,
and, um, after many sleepless nights,
649
00:35:20,793 --> 00:35:21,876
three,
650
00:35:22,584 --> 00:35:23,918
I wanna take you back.
651
00:35:24,001 --> 00:35:25,751
I'm sorry. Whoa, uh…
652
00:35:25,834 --> 00:35:26,918
-Is that okay?
-Yeah.
653
00:35:27,001 --> 00:35:29,918
-[Brie on TV] He cheated on you.
-Oh, my God. You guys…
654
00:35:30,001 --> 00:35:31,709
Yeah. I do.
655
00:35:31,793 --> 00:35:34,043
-Diddly just exploded.
-So did Vroom Vroom.
656
00:35:34,126 --> 00:35:36,293
BASH News just sent me
eight push notifications.
657
00:35:36,376 --> 00:35:38,209
-About this?
-Yeah, look.
658
00:35:38,293 --> 00:35:40,751
My phone just purchased
DJ Chello's latest single.
659
00:35:40,834 --> 00:35:42,918
What the… It just did that without asking.
660
00:35:43,001 --> 00:35:45,834
I'm being told that
we have DJ Chello live on a Mugg link.
661
00:35:45,918 --> 00:35:48,834
-What's he got to say for himself?
-I love the producers here.
662
00:35:48,918 --> 00:35:50,168
Hey, baby doll. Hey.
663
00:35:50,251 --> 00:35:52,126
-Hi. Hi, baby. [crying]
-[Jack] He's in tears.
664
00:35:52,209 --> 00:35:54,126
-Your kid messed up bad.
-I know.
665
00:35:54,209 --> 00:35:56,709
Lady Baroque wasn't wearing
any panties in the club that night.
666
00:35:56,793 --> 00:35:58,459
-It's fine.
-I just got all crazy.
667
00:35:58,543 --> 00:36:00,459
I wasn't thinking straight.
I made a mistake.
668
00:36:00,543 --> 00:36:02,418
But, look, it's always been you.
669
00:36:02,501 --> 00:36:04,834
Oh! I get it. It's okay.
670
00:36:04,918 --> 00:36:07,626
I hooked up with her too,
last year at the Music Globes
671
00:36:07,709 --> 00:36:10,043
right before I ran off
with that power forward from the Nuggets,
672
00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:12,293
and none of that matters.
673
00:36:12,376 --> 00:36:15,959
What about "Forget breakup sex.
Try breakup relationship"?
674
00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:17,209
-That's good.
-Come on.
675
00:36:17,293 --> 00:36:20,209
"Ten famous second chances
for two-timers," guys.
676
00:36:20,293 --> 00:36:21,209
It's on a plate.
677
00:36:21,293 --> 00:36:25,168
I've been scared, but, honestly,
I'm not scared anymore.
678
00:36:25,251 --> 00:36:26,084
Okay.
679
00:36:26,168 --> 00:36:29,001
My little bumblebee, will you marry me?
680
00:36:29,084 --> 00:36:31,668
-[gasps] Oh, my God. Of course.
-[Jack] Oh, wow.
681
00:36:31,751 --> 00:36:33,251
-Chell, of course.
-[DJ Chello] Yes!
682
00:36:33,334 --> 00:36:35,459
-Yes!
-That's sick.
683
00:36:35,543 --> 00:36:36,376
[DJ Chello] Yes!
684
00:36:36,459 --> 00:36:38,834
All right, DJ Chello.
685
00:36:38,918 --> 00:36:40,918
-[cell phones vibrating]
-What is happening?
686
00:36:41,001 --> 00:36:41,959
Just bought another.
687
00:36:42,043 --> 00:36:44,959
-Who are these people again?
-They're like the biggest names…
688
00:36:45,043 --> 00:36:46,543
[Brie chuckles]
689
00:36:46,626 --> 00:36:49,668
Well, the fireworks
have certainly gone off today.
690
00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:50,918
-They have.
-What a zinger!
691
00:36:51,001 --> 00:36:52,501
[Jack] Yes, they have.
692
00:36:52,584 --> 00:36:55,293
From a wedding proposal
to a little science experiment.
693
00:36:55,376 --> 00:36:57,293
I'll need a temple rub
and a martini later on.
694
00:36:57,376 --> 00:37:02,084
[Brie] Our last guests today have made
a pretty big discovery in space.
695
00:37:02,168 --> 00:37:04,084
Astronomer Dr. Randall Mindy
696
00:37:04,168 --> 00:37:07,251
and PhD candidate
Miss Kate Dibiasky are here.
697
00:37:07,334 --> 00:37:08,376
Welcome to the show.
698
00:37:08,459 --> 00:37:11,626
Can I ask you one thing before we go
any further? I have to know this.
699
00:37:11,709 --> 00:37:14,251
Is there life out there?
700
00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:17,751
-Can you tell us? Yes or no, final answer.
-We don't have the data.
701
00:37:17,834 --> 00:37:20,001
But sure, in the vastness
of space, why not?
702
00:37:20,084 --> 00:37:21,584
Yes, aliens are real.
703
00:37:21,668 --> 00:37:24,209
I knew I'd like this guy.
Didn't I tell? You owe me 50 bucks.
704
00:37:24,293 --> 00:37:27,043
[Mindy] I'm not saying there's
little green men in flying saucers--
705
00:37:27,126 --> 00:37:30,251
-Please don't encourage him, Dr. Mindy.
-That's what he's saying.
706
00:37:30,334 --> 00:37:31,751
We'll never get out of here.
707
00:37:31,834 --> 00:37:33,584
Now, Jack was having some fun here.
708
00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:35,209
-Dad looks great.
-What did…
709
00:37:35,293 --> 00:37:37,626
-Doesn't he look good?
-They did something with his beard.
710
00:37:37,709 --> 00:37:39,626
[Brie] With the aliens…
711
00:37:39,709 --> 00:37:41,501
[chuckling] Really… He really does.
712
00:37:41,584 --> 00:37:43,668
-[Jack] So much.
-[Brie chuckles] Dr. Randall…
713
00:37:43,751 --> 00:37:47,168
You'll regret it. Now, look,
Jack's just having some fun here
714
00:37:47,251 --> 00:37:48,918
with the aliens or whatever,
715
00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:53,293
but there's a New York Herald story
that's just come out that talks about…
716
00:37:53,376 --> 00:37:55,418
Keep it right there. You're doing good.
717
00:37:55,501 --> 00:37:57,876
-…the two of you have made.
-[Mindy] That's right, Brie.
718
00:37:57,959 --> 00:38:01,001
Kate was, um, observing supernovas…
719
00:38:01,084 --> 00:38:02,626
Yo, that's your girl?
720
00:38:02,709 --> 00:38:05,126
-Yeah.
-Not bad.
721
00:38:05,209 --> 00:38:09,668
…an absolutely shocking
and once-in-a-lifetime discovery.
722
00:38:09,751 --> 00:38:13,043
I had no idea that Subaru made telescopes.
723
00:38:13,126 --> 00:38:16,209
This has to be exciting.
Tell us what you found, Miss Diabasky.
724
00:38:16,293 --> 00:38:20,293
Um, I was monitoring exploding stars
725
00:38:20,376 --> 00:38:26,793
to help measure
the expansion of the universe and--
726
00:38:26,876 --> 00:38:28,918
-For your PhD, right?
-Yeah.
727
00:38:29,001 --> 00:38:33,168
[Kate] I saw something I didn't recognize.
728
00:38:34,584 --> 00:38:36,084
It was a comet.
729
00:38:36,168 --> 00:38:37,001
[sighs]
730
00:38:37,084 --> 00:38:38,209
[Kate] A big one.
731
00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:44,626
It's headed directly at Earth,
and it really likely will hit.
732
00:38:45,959 --> 00:38:47,834
This sounds very, very exciting.
733
00:38:47,918 --> 00:38:50,501
Exploding stars, like,
stars actually explode.
734
00:38:50,584 --> 00:38:51,751
Um, how big is this thing?
735
00:38:51,834 --> 00:38:54,126
Can it destroy someone's house?
Is that possible?
736
00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:57,376
Well, Comet Dibiasky, which is
what it will officially be named--
737
00:38:57,459 --> 00:38:58,876
-[Jack] After her?
-Yeah, after her.
738
00:38:58,959 --> 00:39:01,626
-[Brie] Congratulations.
-[Jack] What an honor. Congratulations.
739
00:39:01,709 --> 00:39:04,209
It's somewhere between
six and nine kilometers across.
740
00:39:04,293 --> 00:39:05,626
-So--
-It's big.
741
00:39:05,709 --> 00:39:08,918
It would damage the entire planet.
742
00:39:09,001 --> 00:39:10,626
Not just a house, you know?
743
00:39:10,709 --> 00:39:11,751
The entire planet.
744
00:39:11,834 --> 00:39:14,751
Okay, as it's damaging,
will it hit this one house in particular
745
00:39:14,834 --> 00:39:17,918
that's right on the coast of New Jersey?
It's my ex-wife's house.
746
00:39:18,001 --> 00:39:19,251
Can we make that happen?
747
00:39:19,334 --> 00:39:21,751
You and Shelly have
a great relationship. Stop.
748
00:39:21,834 --> 00:39:23,168
You need to stop.
749
00:39:23,251 --> 00:39:26,168
I will, but in all fairness,
I actually paid for the house.
750
00:39:26,251 --> 00:39:27,543
[Brie] I'm so sorry.
751
00:39:27,626 --> 00:39:30,626
I'm sorry, are we not being clear?
752
00:39:31,959 --> 00:39:33,834
We're trying to tell you
753
00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:37,334
that the entire planet
is about to be destroyed.
754
00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:40,334
-[Jack] Okay, um…
-[Brie] Well, it's, you know…
755
00:39:40,418 --> 00:39:43,668
It's something we do around here.
We just keep the bad news light.
756
00:39:43,751 --> 00:39:45,668
Right. It helps the medicine go down.
757
00:39:45,751 --> 00:39:47,709
Speaking of medicine, tomorrow we've got--
758
00:39:47,793 --> 00:39:51,584
Well, maybe the destruction
of the entire planet
759
00:39:52,501 --> 00:39:53,876
isn't supposed to be fun.
760
00:39:54,668 --> 00:39:58,293
Maybe it's supposed to be terrifying.
761
00:39:58,376 --> 00:39:59,376
And unsettling.
762
00:39:59,459 --> 00:40:01,168
[Adul] No, please don't do that.
763
00:40:01,251 --> 00:40:03,376
-And you should stay up all night…
-[Adul] Please.
764
00:40:03,459 --> 00:40:05,293
…every night crying,
765
00:40:05,376 --> 00:40:09,793
when we're all 100%
for sure gonna fucking die!
766
00:40:10,543 --> 00:40:12,459
-[crying]
-Hey, Kate.
767
00:40:12,543 --> 00:40:13,543
[Kate] I'm sorry.
768
00:40:14,918 --> 00:40:15,751
Hey, man.
769
00:40:16,418 --> 00:40:19,751
My brother has bipolar disorder.
So if you ever need anyone to talk…
770
00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:22,626
-Uh… [inhales sharply]
-Okay.
771
00:40:22,709 --> 00:40:25,626
Is she always like that?
772
00:40:26,334 --> 00:40:28,126
-I--
-[Brie] Something I said?
773
00:40:28,209 --> 00:40:30,126
-[Jack and Brie chuckle]
-[Jack] Right?
774
00:40:30,209 --> 00:40:33,668
Maybe I should have given her
that extra Xanax that I had.
775
00:40:33,751 --> 00:40:34,751
[Jack and Brie chuckle]
776
00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:38,251
Listen, if you don't have enough,
we all have enough around here for her.
777
00:40:38,334 --> 00:40:41,209
A spoonful of Xanax
makes the medicine go down, right?
778
00:40:41,293 --> 00:40:42,959
[Jack] That's right. That's good.
779
00:40:43,959 --> 00:40:47,209
-We're gonna have to get you back.
-[Jack] I knew I'd like this guy.
780
00:40:47,293 --> 00:40:49,376
-Is he a plant? [laughing]
-[Jack] I knew it.
781
00:40:49,459 --> 00:40:50,376
[Brie] Okay.
782
00:40:50,459 --> 00:40:52,834
Well, the handsome astronomer
783
00:40:52,918 --> 00:40:56,418
can come back anytime,
but the yelling lady, not so much.
784
00:40:56,501 --> 00:40:59,459
[Jack] Not so much. Join us tomorrow
when our guest will be the man
785
00:40:59,543 --> 00:41:03,126
that many say will challenge
President Orlean in two years.
786
00:41:03,209 --> 00:41:05,209
Senator Jeff Lerner will be here.
787
00:41:05,293 --> 00:41:08,043
And wrongly-convicted murderer,
Michelle Weems,
788
00:41:08,126 --> 00:41:12,418
talks to us about her controversial
third-place finish on Celebrity Dance Off.
789
00:41:12,501 --> 00:41:15,876
-I thought she would've won.
-Yes. I still think she's guilty.
790
00:41:15,959 --> 00:41:18,126
-That's The Daily Rip, guys.
-[Brie] Have a great day.
791
00:41:18,709 --> 00:41:20,626
-[producer] And we're out!
-The show's over?
792
00:41:20,709 --> 00:41:22,001
-I mean, didn't…
-[Jack] Yeah.
793
00:41:22,084 --> 00:41:24,543
-Did what we wanted to say come across?
-No, it's over.
794
00:41:24,626 --> 00:41:28,543
You were great, but I think mullet girl,
she probably needs some media training.
795
00:41:29,668 --> 00:41:31,334
-Really?
-Yeah, no, terrible, buddy.
796
00:41:31,418 --> 00:41:33,959
[Brie] Oh… Thanks. Thanks, Billy.
797
00:41:34,043 --> 00:41:39,543
Uh, we usually get drinks at Aundrine's
after our five o'clock staff meeting.
798
00:41:39,626 --> 00:41:42,084
You know, it's fun. You should come.
799
00:41:42,168 --> 00:41:45,084
Oh, I'll have to see.
Thank you for the invitation. Thank you.
800
00:41:45,626 --> 00:41:46,626
Mmm-hmm.
801
00:41:47,959 --> 00:41:49,334
Kate? Kate?
802
00:41:49,418 --> 00:41:52,293
-Hey. You were awesome.
-Oh, thanks.
803
00:41:52,376 --> 00:41:54,334
Can I get a photo of you for my portfolio?
804
00:41:54,418 --> 00:41:55,709
-Yeah, sure.
-Thanks.
805
00:41:55,793 --> 00:41:57,126
-[camera clicks]
-Thank you.
806
00:41:57,709 --> 00:41:59,209
[woman] You can see this spike here
807
00:41:59,293 --> 00:42:01,418
is when Riley Bina
asked to take DJ Chello back
808
00:42:01,501 --> 00:42:02,793
on the segment before you.
809
00:42:02,876 --> 00:42:06,084
We saw engagement across
all social media platforms.
810
00:42:06,168 --> 00:42:08,959
Hmm. And what about our story?
811
00:42:09,043 --> 00:42:12,001
[woman] Randall and Kate,
812
00:42:12,084 --> 00:42:15,793
{\an8}your TV appearance got some nice traffic
when Miss Dibiasky cursed.
813
00:42:15,876 --> 00:42:19,084
{\an8}But, unfortunately,
there was an immediate backlash
814
00:42:19,168 --> 00:42:20,876
{\an8}-that quickly became a meme.
-[Kate gasps]
815
00:42:20,959 --> 00:42:22,251
Oh, Jesus.
816
00:42:22,918 --> 00:42:26,293
-Oh, that's terrible.
-They just think I'm crazy.
817
00:42:26,376 --> 00:42:29,376
I mean, look at that.
That's so unnecessary.
818
00:42:30,751 --> 00:42:33,168
-You can move on, Erin.
-Yeah.
819
00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:35,959
That is just so…
Is that even allowed on the Internet or…
820
00:42:36,043 --> 00:42:37,668
I think that's Photoshop, Kate.
821
00:42:37,751 --> 00:42:40,126
[Erin] The trick is
to not take it personal…
822
00:42:40,209 --> 00:42:44,501
[chuckling] Dr. Mindy, on the other hand,
had some very high favorables.
823
00:42:44,584 --> 00:42:49,168
Vegan*Babe wrote,
"Meow! Me likey hunky Star Man."
824
00:42:49,251 --> 00:42:52,251
Uh, some accounts called him
"The Bedroom Eyes Doomsday Prophet"
825
00:42:52,334 --> 00:42:55,126
or A-I-L-F, which means
"astronomer I'd like to fuck."
826
00:42:55,209 --> 00:42:56,084
[people] Oh…
827
00:42:56,168 --> 00:42:58,709
I don't see what that has
to do with anything, do you?
828
00:42:59,418 --> 00:43:02,543
And that's everything.
829
00:43:02,626 --> 00:43:05,709
We did not feature or push on any sites,
830
00:43:05,793 --> 00:43:09,126
and clicks overall were below
basic weather and traffic stories.
831
00:43:09,209 --> 00:43:10,459
[scoffs]
832
00:43:10,543 --> 00:43:12,543
So that… That… That's it?
833
00:43:12,626 --> 00:43:14,376
-[Kate] I knew it.
-That's it.
834
00:43:15,293 --> 00:43:17,876
-Thank you, Erin.
-[Erin] Yeah, no problem.
835
00:43:18,543 --> 00:43:20,793
[Mindy] I don't… I don't understand.
836
00:43:20,876 --> 00:43:22,709
I don't understand. There's no response.
837
00:43:22,793 --> 00:43:27,418
There's absolutely no…
Why aren't people terrified?
838
00:43:27,501 --> 00:43:29,501
What do we have to say?
What do we have to do?
839
00:43:29,584 --> 00:43:32,959
There are scientists in Mexico and Spain
who are currently going through the data,
840
00:43:33,043 --> 00:43:34,751
and, uh, South Korea has expressed--
841
00:43:34,834 --> 00:43:36,543
-That's great. South Korea.
-Hey.
842
00:43:36,626 --> 00:43:39,084
Let us not bullshit each other.
843
00:43:39,168 --> 00:43:42,834
The bottom line is,
you guys told us the science was 100%.
844
00:43:42,918 --> 00:43:44,668
It's not. Now we look like idiots.
845
00:43:44,751 --> 00:43:47,334
-No. Who said the science is not 100%?
-Excuse me?
846
00:43:47,418 --> 00:43:50,293
I wanna talk to this person.
You tell me who said the science--
847
00:43:50,376 --> 00:43:53,376
Dr. Jocelyn Calder, the head of NASA,
848
00:43:53,459 --> 00:43:56,668
just came out calling it
"more near-miss hysteria."
849
00:43:56,751 --> 00:43:58,668
She's the one
who told us not to say anything.
850
00:43:58,751 --> 00:44:00,126
"More near-miss hysteria."
851
00:44:00,209 --> 00:44:01,334
Is she even an astronomer?
852
00:44:01,418 --> 00:44:04,501
She's the head of NASA, but maybe
she doesn't know what she's talking about.
853
00:44:04,584 --> 00:44:06,001
She's the head of NASA, but look,
854
00:44:06,084 --> 00:44:09,918
she's a "former anesthesiologist
and a President Orlean super donor."
855
00:44:10,001 --> 00:44:11,626
Let's not be dramatic here.
856
00:44:11,709 --> 00:44:12,709
It's all corrupt.
857
00:44:12,793 --> 00:44:16,459
Yes, but the point is that Adul's right.
There's still serious debate.
858
00:44:16,543 --> 00:44:18,751
And now the Herald has egg on its face.
859
00:44:18,834 --> 00:44:20,959
We've taken that story as far as it goes.
860
00:44:21,709 --> 00:44:25,668
Ladies, gentlemen,
I wish you a very pleasant end of times.
861
00:44:25,751 --> 00:44:27,751
[Mindy] It's not a goddamn story, okay?
862
00:44:30,251 --> 00:44:32,959
We have precisely six months, ten days,
863
00:44:33,043 --> 00:44:36,293
two hours, 11 minutes and 41 seconds,
864
00:44:36,376 --> 00:44:39,043
until a comet twice the size of Chicxulub
865
00:44:39,126 --> 00:44:41,876
tears through our atmosphere
and extincts all life on Earth.
866
00:44:41,959 --> 00:44:44,876
[chuckles] When did you
do those calculations?
867
00:44:45,709 --> 00:44:48,293
I put the moment of impact on a diet app.
868
00:44:48,376 --> 00:44:52,001
So, impact is when my diet ends.
869
00:44:52,084 --> 00:44:56,168
Only I'm not on a diet.
I'm just crying five times a day.
870
00:44:56,251 --> 00:44:58,168
-I'm scared.
-Hey, come on. Come on.
871
00:44:58,876 --> 00:45:01,459
Everyone should be
panicking right now, okay?
872
00:45:01,543 --> 00:45:03,459
-Don't cry. Come on.
-[Kate] I know.
873
00:45:03,543 --> 00:45:04,793
[cell phone chimes]
874
00:45:04,876 --> 00:45:05,876
[sighs]
875
00:45:06,876 --> 00:45:08,334
That prick!
876
00:45:08,418 --> 00:45:09,834
[upbeat tense music playing]
877
00:45:16,543 --> 00:45:17,709
[Mindy] What happened?
878
00:45:17,793 --> 00:45:20,126
Guess my boyfriend just broke up with me.
879
00:45:20,209 --> 00:45:24,543
-God, what a day. What a day…
-[crying]
880
00:45:32,709 --> 00:45:36,001
You're gonna die!
You're gonna die! You're…
881
00:45:36,084 --> 00:45:38,168
[slow rumbling]
882
00:45:46,334 --> 00:45:49,751
[reporter on TV] It started with
a photo many thought was an armpit
883
00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:52,501
or the chin of a man with a strange beard.
884
00:45:52,584 --> 00:45:54,876
But what's emerging now is a scandal…
885
00:45:54,959 --> 00:45:57,876
{\an8}President Orlean sent
her Supreme Court nominee
886
00:45:57,959 --> 00:46:00,626
{\an8}a cell phone picture of her private parts.
887
00:46:00,709 --> 00:46:02,751
-Holy crap!
-[woman] It's clickbait material.
888
00:46:02,834 --> 00:46:05,293
Is this what you want
in your country as a leader?
889
00:46:05,376 --> 00:46:07,751
Isn't she the same person
who told poor people
890
00:46:07,834 --> 00:46:11,876
that if they don't wanna be poor,
they should pick better lottery numbers?
891
00:46:11,959 --> 00:46:13,001
She actually said that.
892
00:46:13,084 --> 00:46:14,584
{\an8}A source also confirmed to me that
893
00:46:14,668 --> 00:46:16,793
{\an8}the two have been
having an affair for years.
894
00:46:16,876 --> 00:46:18,459
And as recently as yesterday…
895
00:46:18,543 --> 00:46:22,626
Members of my party
are currently drawing up a formal censure
896
00:46:22,709 --> 00:46:23,668
of the president,
897
00:46:24,626 --> 00:46:25,543
Janie Orlean…
898
00:46:25,626 --> 00:46:26,959
[Mindy] Oh, my God, honey.
899
00:46:27,043 --> 00:46:29,834
This guy doesn't even know
what a heliocentric orbit is,
900
00:46:29,918 --> 00:46:32,668
and he's calling me a crackpot. [chuckles]
901
00:46:32,751 --> 00:46:33,751
He says that,
902
00:46:34,584 --> 00:46:38,209
"Jewish billionaires
invented this comet threat
903
00:46:38,293 --> 00:46:42,168
so the government
can confiscate our liberty and our guns."
904
00:46:42,251 --> 00:46:45,543
"#DontBeScared." Unbelievable.
905
00:46:46,251 --> 00:46:47,084
My God.
906
00:46:47,168 --> 00:46:49,084
You've been on that site a lot lately.
907
00:46:49,668 --> 00:46:54,876
Yeah. I mean, I… I have, like,
a quarter million subscribers, honey.
908
00:46:54,959 --> 00:46:57,918
I gotta use my voice
to get the truth out there, right?
909
00:46:58,876 --> 00:47:01,959
I'm, uh, going for a walk
if you wanna come.
910
00:47:05,251 --> 00:47:07,793
[Mindy] It is called
the scientific method…
911
00:47:07,876 --> 00:47:08,709
[doorbell rings]
912
00:47:08,793 --> 00:47:11,709
…and it is what created the computer
913
00:47:11,793 --> 00:47:16,709
that you are typing
your half-witted conspiracy theories on.
914
00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:19,751
What do you think about that?
915
00:47:20,793 --> 00:47:22,001
[Mrs. Mindy] Randall?
916
00:47:22,793 --> 00:47:25,293
-Yeah, honey?
-Someone's here to see you.
917
00:47:25,959 --> 00:47:28,126
Who? Oh, boy.
918
00:47:31,459 --> 00:47:32,543
Oh, my gosh.
919
00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,501
Oh, God, right. Okay.
920
00:47:36,584 --> 00:47:37,418
Right.
921
00:47:37,918 --> 00:47:39,209
Are you Dr. Randall Mindy?
922
00:47:39,293 --> 00:47:40,459
[Mindy] Yes, sir. I am.
923
00:47:40,543 --> 00:47:41,751
[pensive music playing]
924
00:47:41,834 --> 00:47:43,876
[woman mockingly] "We're all gonna die."
925
00:47:43,959 --> 00:47:45,751
Fuck off, please.
926
00:47:48,793 --> 00:47:52,001
FBI! Freeze! Get on your knees right now!
Get on your knees!
927
00:47:52,751 --> 00:47:55,543
You're under arrest
for breach of national security secrets.
928
00:47:55,626 --> 00:47:56,501
Jesus Christ!
929
00:47:56,584 --> 00:48:00,168
You could've just called me
or showed up to my apartment.
930
00:48:01,251 --> 00:48:03,251
What are you, dressed up as a blind guy?
931
00:48:03,334 --> 00:48:05,626
[siren blaring]
932
00:48:05,709 --> 00:48:08,626
-[agent] Get on the ground!
-Okay. Now be cool.
933
00:48:09,584 --> 00:48:12,126
I just have
more skin pigmentation than you.
934
00:48:12,209 --> 00:48:15,126
'Cause your ancestors
migrated to Northern Europe
935
00:48:15,209 --> 00:48:17,293
and developed lighter skin
so as to not get…
936
00:48:19,543 --> 00:48:23,001
[Kate] Unless you assholes
are taking me to the Batcave,
937
00:48:23,084 --> 00:48:24,834
fuck you for putting this hood on me.
938
00:48:27,043 --> 00:48:29,584
Watch out for him.
He'll charge you for free shit.
939
00:48:30,251 --> 00:48:32,626
[whispers] What's he doing here?
Is he here for us?
940
00:48:33,293 --> 00:48:34,668
Gentlemen, you can come in.
941
00:48:39,251 --> 00:48:41,584
[Orlean chuckles] I think
it was Winston Churchill who…
942
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:47,543
Or maybe it was Bobby Knight
who said, "The great labor of leadership
943
00:48:47,626 --> 00:48:51,126
is to lay down one's yoke of pride
944
00:48:51,876 --> 00:48:54,834
and admit that mistakes were made."
945
00:48:54,918 --> 00:48:58,084
[Jason] You were deceived,
as was I, but the end result was,
946
00:48:58,168 --> 00:49:01,834
we had our scientists who went to,
uh, the prestigious schools of Harvard,
947
00:49:01,918 --> 00:49:03,043
Princeton, et cetera.
948
00:49:03,543 --> 00:49:08,459
They confirmed the data.
So we would like to offer you a…
949
00:49:09,959 --> 00:49:12,043
presidential apology.
950
00:49:12,126 --> 00:49:13,043
Really?
951
00:49:13,793 --> 00:49:16,668
And we are fully prepared to mobilize
952
00:49:16,751 --> 00:49:19,626
in historic fashion
in order to save this planet.
953
00:49:19,709 --> 00:49:21,626
[laughing]
954
00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:23,918
[man] The best news
we've heard in a long time.
955
00:49:24,001 --> 00:49:27,584
So, basically, what you're saying is
956
00:49:27,668 --> 00:49:31,501
you're about to lose the midterms
'cause you got caught
957
00:49:31,584 --> 00:49:35,668
sending pictures of your cooch
to your porn-star sheriff boyfriend.
958
00:49:35,751 --> 00:49:39,668
So now it's to your advantage
to act on the comet?
959
00:49:41,584 --> 00:49:42,751
Right.
960
00:49:42,834 --> 00:49:44,084
[Kate] Okay.
961
00:49:44,709 --> 00:49:46,043
[chuckling] Okay. I'm just…
962
00:49:47,834 --> 00:49:51,084
[sighs] God, I'm so relieved
that you guys are doing something.
963
00:49:51,168 --> 00:49:54,751
-Hey, come on. Hey.
-This has been really…
964
00:49:54,834 --> 00:49:57,001
-[crying] Really, really hard.
-Come here.
965
00:49:57,084 --> 00:50:00,209
This has been really, really,
really stressful on all of us.
966
00:50:00,293 --> 00:50:01,334
Yes, I will agree.
967
00:50:01,418 --> 00:50:03,626
This will take some
heavy weight off all of us--
968
00:50:03,709 --> 00:50:06,626
[laughing] Sorry, you just look
so bad when you cry.
969
00:50:06,709 --> 00:50:08,501
[Orlean] Maybe, possibly.
970
00:50:08,584 --> 00:50:10,501
People are gonna ask
why we didn't act earlier.
971
00:50:10,584 --> 00:50:13,001
So you're gonna have
to take the hit on this one.
972
00:50:13,084 --> 00:50:16,126
Yeah, but we'll take care
of you down the road, Jocelyn.
973
00:50:16,793 --> 00:50:18,418
-We will.
-Of course, Janie.
974
00:50:19,043 --> 00:50:21,543
I will resign in disgrace
first thing tomorrow.
975
00:50:21,626 --> 00:50:24,334
-[Orlean] Good. Yeah, good.
-That's weird as hell.
976
00:50:24,418 --> 00:50:26,501
[whispers] She's an anesthesiologist.
977
00:50:26,584 --> 00:50:29,584
I'm going to make a statement,
978
00:50:29,668 --> 00:50:32,209
presidential statement
to the American people.
979
00:50:32,293 --> 00:50:35,084
And we're not gonna tell
the press about it ahead of time
980
00:50:35,168 --> 00:50:37,959
because that way
it will have the appearance
981
00:50:38,043 --> 00:50:39,709
of a breaking emergency sort of…
982
00:50:39,793 --> 00:50:42,209
[woman on TV] Good things
come to those who wait.
983
00:50:42,293 --> 00:50:44,209
-[device chimes on TV]
-[woman on TV] See?
984
00:50:44,293 --> 00:50:45,418
[man on TV] Whoo!
985
00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:47,168
Oh, my God!
986
00:50:47,251 --> 00:50:48,709
[cheers and applause on TV]
987
00:50:48,793 --> 00:50:50,084
[rhythmic music playing on TV]
988
00:50:50,168 --> 00:50:53,209
[man on TV] We interrupt this broadcast
of Jackpot Fiancé
989
00:50:53,293 --> 00:50:56,543
for an emergency message
from the president of the United States.
990
00:50:59,959 --> 00:51:02,918
Citizens of the United States
and peoples of the world,
991
00:51:03,501 --> 00:51:04,834
I have just been handed
992
00:51:04,918 --> 00:51:09,043
scientific findings that
confirm a worst-case scenario.
993
00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:14,876
An unprecedented comet,
nine kilometers wide,
994
00:51:14,959 --> 00:51:21,376
is now on a direct collision course
with our cherished home, planet Earth.
995
00:51:21,459 --> 00:51:24,709
{\an8}Estimated time of arrival
is approximately five months from now.
996
00:51:24,793 --> 00:51:25,709
{\an8}So we have…
997
00:51:25,793 --> 00:51:28,001
We've drawn up a massive
Congressional spending bill…
998
00:51:28,084 --> 00:51:31,834
I have already put together an emergency
spending package for Congress…
999
00:51:31,918 --> 00:51:34,126
[Jason] …that the Senate
and the House have agreed upon.
1000
00:51:34,209 --> 00:51:35,043
That's good to hear.
1001
00:51:35,126 --> 00:51:39,209
And that will enable NASA
and our great military
1002
00:51:39,293 --> 00:51:41,126
to launch a preemptive strike,
1003
00:51:42,584 --> 00:51:46,293
using decommissioned
space shuttles and satellites
1004
00:51:46,376 --> 00:51:49,084
loaded with nuclear explosives.
1005
00:51:49,168 --> 00:51:53,376
We will blow Comet Dibiasky
off her course…
1006
00:51:53,459 --> 00:51:55,501
But we're gonna need a hero.
1007
00:51:55,584 --> 00:51:58,834
We're gonna need a pilot, real guns and…
1008
00:51:58,918 --> 00:52:02,293
Shouldn't this mission be accomplished
using remote technology?
1009
00:52:02,376 --> 00:52:04,584
Washington's always gotta have a hero.
1010
00:52:04,668 --> 00:52:06,043
I have asked
1011
00:52:07,043 --> 00:52:13,043
Medal of Freedom recipient
and outspoken patriot, Benedict Drask,
1012
00:52:13,126 --> 00:52:16,293
to undertake this difficult and…
1013
00:52:16,376 --> 00:52:19,001
[Mindy] I'm sorry.
Isn't he the mercenary gentleman
1014
00:52:19,084 --> 00:52:22,459
that was screaming at all those children
on the White House lawn?
1015
00:52:22,543 --> 00:52:25,959
[Orlean] Yeah.
He was given the honor of leading
1016
00:52:26,043 --> 00:52:29,376
the presidential initiative
in getting kids to exercise.
1017
00:52:29,459 --> 00:52:31,293
Get a little air into it, you lard-ass…
1018
00:52:32,043 --> 00:52:34,376
You look like a goddamn bunch of pussies.
1019
00:52:34,459 --> 00:52:36,709
-[Mindy] I'm sorry.
-He's just of another generation.
1020
00:52:36,793 --> 00:52:38,126
You know, I used to date him.
1021
00:52:38,209 --> 00:52:41,418
Know what happened to the last pussy
I worked with in combat?
1022
00:52:41,501 --> 00:52:43,293
You ever see inside a man's torso?
1023
00:52:43,376 --> 00:52:44,959
[cheers and applause]
1024
00:52:47,459 --> 00:52:49,584
Benedict Drask reporting for duty.
1025
00:52:51,751 --> 00:52:53,834
-Thank you for the…
-He's gonna be fantastic.
1026
00:52:53,918 --> 00:52:55,501
{\an8}He's got a great voice.
1027
00:52:55,584 --> 00:52:58,209
-We're gonna let him make a statement.
{\an8}-Some are saying this is a…
1028
00:52:58,293 --> 00:52:59,668
He's got a great body too.
1029
00:52:59,751 --> 00:53:01,293
-[Calder] He does.
-[Orlean] Yeah.
1030
00:53:01,376 --> 00:53:03,001
…suicide mission.
1031
00:53:03,084 --> 00:53:04,501
Well, all I ask is,
1032
00:53:05,584 --> 00:53:06,918
if I get snuffed,
1033
00:53:08,084 --> 00:53:11,501
that you all earn
the extra living my sacrifice gives you.
1034
00:53:11,584 --> 00:53:14,043
The extra living
my sacrifice gives them. [gasps]
1035
00:53:14,668 --> 00:53:16,543
{\an8}-Right?
-I wrote that.
1036
00:53:16,626 --> 00:53:18,751
Isn't that from Saving Private Ryan?
1037
00:53:18,834 --> 00:53:21,751
-Yes.
-No, that's something totally different.
1038
00:53:21,834 --> 00:53:25,543
And special thanks should also go
to this team of scientists behind me…
1039
00:53:25,626 --> 00:53:28,293
[Orlean] We're gonna need
everybody's help on this.
1040
00:53:28,376 --> 00:53:30,251
Everybody.
1041
00:53:30,334 --> 00:53:33,959
All have to pitch in
and push out this message.
1042
00:53:34,043 --> 00:53:35,501
…African-American scientist.
1043
00:53:35,584 --> 00:53:37,168
Miss Dibiasky, she…
1044
00:53:37,251 --> 00:53:40,626
And we have Kate Dibiasky,
who the comet is named after,
1045
00:53:40,709 --> 00:53:42,501
but don't blame her.
1046
00:53:42,584 --> 00:53:46,209
…connects with the disaffected youth
and the mentally ill.
1047
00:53:46,293 --> 00:53:48,168
-And other marginal groups.
-Thank you.
1048
00:53:48,251 --> 00:53:51,543
-[Oglethorpe] We'll do whatever we can.
-As long as you do the right thing.
1049
00:53:51,626 --> 00:53:52,959
We're there for you.
1050
00:53:53,043 --> 00:53:56,293
Especially you, Dr. Mindy,
because you poll so much higher
1051
00:53:56,376 --> 00:53:58,709
than your colleagues.
It's wild. [laughing]
1052
00:53:58,793 --> 00:54:04,293
He will help us destroy
our common enemy, Dibiasky.
1053
00:54:04,918 --> 00:54:07,084
Wonderful. Well, I think we're done.
1054
00:54:07,168 --> 00:54:08,709
[Jason] Yep, okay. Let's go.
1055
00:54:08,793 --> 00:54:10,334
[Kate] Can I say something?
1056
00:54:10,418 --> 00:54:12,626
We've been dying to hear
what you gotta say.
1057
00:54:13,293 --> 00:54:14,418
I didn't vote for you.
1058
00:54:16,584 --> 00:54:22,751
But this is obviously
much bigger than my misgivings.
1059
00:54:22,834 --> 00:54:27,168
So I will be 100% behind this effort.
1060
00:54:28,043 --> 00:54:31,834
No matter how offensive I may find you.
1061
00:54:31,918 --> 00:54:34,418
Hmm. Wow. That's great.
1062
00:54:34,501 --> 00:54:36,334
[Jason] Yeah. That's really nice.
1063
00:54:36,418 --> 00:54:39,251
You know, I did have the FBI
put that bag over your head.
1064
00:54:39,334 --> 00:54:42,334
They don't do that.
The CIA does, but I made them do it.
1065
00:54:42,418 --> 00:54:45,126
You know, I had a feeling. I really did.
1066
00:54:46,001 --> 00:54:48,459
It's a good feeling
'cause that is what I did.
1067
00:54:48,543 --> 00:54:51,334
-And it was very funny and cool. [laughs]
-[Orlean] Okay.
1068
00:54:51,418 --> 00:54:55,501
May Jesus Christ
bless every single one of you,
1069
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:59,376
especially the honorable members
of my own party.
1070
00:55:00,043 --> 00:55:01,168
We will prevail.
1071
00:55:01,251 --> 00:55:02,334
[cheers and applause]
1072
00:55:02,418 --> 00:55:04,501
["The Battle Hymn of the Republic" plays]
1073
00:55:07,918 --> 00:55:09,251
[fireworks exploding]
1074
00:55:31,751 --> 00:55:35,251
-We're all gonna die!
-[upbeat jazz music plays]
1075
00:55:35,334 --> 00:55:38,126
Guys, this comet
is seriously stressing me out.
1076
00:55:38,209 --> 00:55:40,293
Well, it's coming. People gotta dig in.
1077
00:55:40,376 --> 00:55:42,751
I already got buyers
for these shovels on e-market.
1078
00:55:42,834 --> 00:55:46,876
Clean sweep for President Orlean
in these midterm elections.
1079
00:55:46,959 --> 00:55:49,293
-[woman 1] …how hot he is.
-Thousand bucks a pop.
1080
00:55:49,376 --> 00:55:50,959
[overlapping voices]
1081
00:55:53,418 --> 00:55:56,959
…discharge the duties
on which I am about to enter.
1082
00:55:57,043 --> 00:55:58,126
"So help you God."
1083
00:55:58,209 --> 00:56:00,459
-So help me God.
-Congratulations.
1084
00:56:01,751 --> 00:56:05,501
[woman 2] We have talk of
{\an8}a Nobel Peace Prize in the offing.
1085
00:56:05,584 --> 00:56:08,876
-[man] He's not hot.
-[upbeat jazz music continues]
1086
00:56:23,793 --> 00:56:25,084
Hello, Sammy.
1087
00:56:25,168 --> 00:56:28,459
[laughing] Are you really a doctor?
1088
00:56:28,543 --> 00:56:31,793
Well, sort of. I'm an astronomer.
1089
00:56:31,876 --> 00:56:35,876
Oh. What is an astronomer?
1090
00:56:35,959 --> 00:56:38,751
[Jack] Dr. Mindy, there is
a lot of fear out there,
1091
00:56:38,834 --> 00:56:40,584
uh, in America, around the world.
1092
00:56:40,668 --> 00:56:42,751
Parents don't know
what to say to their kids.
1093
00:56:42,834 --> 00:56:45,334
What would you say to them
to help them understand?
1094
00:56:45,418 --> 00:56:48,834
[clicks tongue] Well, I'm sure many of us
are frightened right now.
1095
00:56:49,501 --> 00:56:55,751
But I can assure you, our best
and our brightest, they're on the job.
1096
00:56:56,293 --> 00:57:00,501
I've seen the science
on this plan and it is sound.
1097
00:57:00,584 --> 00:57:05,251
I know your words are a great comfort
to all our viewers, Dr. Randall,
1098
00:57:05,334 --> 00:57:09,459
and we thank you
for your courage and your service.
1099
00:57:09,543 --> 00:57:11,209
I'd just like to say
1100
00:57:11,834 --> 00:57:16,584
that whenever
I feel afraid or alone in this, I…
1101
00:57:17,876 --> 00:57:21,043
I think of you and I just… I feel better.
1102
00:57:21,126 --> 00:57:22,418
So thank you.
1103
00:57:23,043 --> 00:57:24,418
That's my job.
1104
00:57:24,501 --> 00:57:26,209
[music continues playing]
1105
00:57:35,501 --> 00:57:37,626
-Tell me we're all gonna die.
-What?
1106
00:57:37,709 --> 00:57:39,043
[both breathing heavily]
1107
00:57:39,126 --> 00:57:39,959
[grunting]
1108
00:57:40,043 --> 00:57:42,543
-Tell me we're all gonna die, do it.
-We're all gonna die.
1109
00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:43,751
-[moans]
-Oh, boy.
1110
00:57:43,834 --> 00:57:47,418
[man on TV] So, these two Marxists
wave around the word "science"
1111
00:57:47,501 --> 00:57:49,626
and we're all supposed
to do whatever they say?
1112
00:57:49,709 --> 00:57:52,334
Yeah, how do we know
there even is a comet?
1113
00:57:52,418 --> 00:57:56,168
Mr. Pawketty, Congressman,
this data has been proven
1114
00:57:56,251 --> 00:58:00,501
and has been peer-reviewed
by hundreds of world-renowned scientists.
1115
00:58:00,584 --> 00:58:04,584
And we're supposed to trust you?
The comet's got your name.
1116
00:58:06,001 --> 00:58:07,959
I don't… I don't see the relevancy.
1117
00:58:08,043 --> 00:58:09,834
[Pawketty] Why won't you
answer the question?
1118
00:58:09,918 --> 00:58:11,959
-Answer the question.
-What's the question?
1119
00:58:12,043 --> 00:58:13,168
Grow up here, okay?
1120
00:58:13,251 --> 00:58:14,459
This is ridiculous.
1121
00:58:16,459 --> 00:58:20,459
I've just realized, we don't really know
anything about each other. Do we?
1122
00:58:21,043 --> 00:58:22,084
[chuckles]
1123
00:58:22,168 --> 00:58:23,126
True.
1124
00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:27,709
Well, every time I try
to ask you about your life,
1125
00:58:27,793 --> 00:58:31,459
you seem to just tell me
about your favorite restaurants.
1126
00:58:32,418 --> 00:58:33,584
Well, I… You know…
1127
00:58:34,293 --> 00:58:36,084
I just despise the, you know,
1128
00:58:36,168 --> 00:58:38,334
getting-to-know-you part
of relationships, so…
1129
00:58:39,001 --> 00:58:41,043
Oh, okay. I understand.
1130
00:58:43,043 --> 00:58:45,251
Okay, let's just
get it over and done with.
1131
00:58:47,751 --> 00:58:48,959
Okay, uh…
1132
00:58:50,001 --> 00:58:51,751
Right, so, uh…
1133
00:58:52,418 --> 00:58:56,876
My grandfather invented
the flash-freezing process.
1134
00:58:56,959 --> 00:58:59,209
So I come from grotesque money,
1135
00:58:59,293 --> 00:59:03,543
but I got away from it
by getting three masters degrees.
1136
00:59:04,334 --> 00:59:07,168
Uh, I've been divorced twice.
1137
00:59:07,251 --> 00:59:13,751
Uh, one was a Secretary of State,
and the other one was a sport fisherman.
1138
00:59:13,834 --> 00:59:19,709
Uh, I have slept
with two former presidents.
1139
00:59:19,793 --> 00:59:24,626
I speak four languages,
and I own two Monets.
1140
00:59:26,334 --> 00:59:27,168
Wow.
1141
00:59:27,793 --> 00:59:30,001
Two former presidents. Wow.
1142
00:59:32,001 --> 00:59:33,918
-What, my turn?
-[chuckles] Yeah.
1143
00:59:34,001 --> 00:59:40,293
Oh. All right. My father was
a middle school geography teacher.
1144
00:59:40,376 --> 00:59:43,626
My mother,
she cut hair out of the kitchen.
1145
00:59:43,709 --> 00:59:47,543
Uh, about two years ago,
our family dog, JoJo, died,
1146
00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,626
which was really, really emotional.
1147
00:59:49,709 --> 00:59:53,084
I can't remember crying that much ever.
1148
00:59:54,626 --> 00:59:55,584
And, um…
1149
00:59:57,293 --> 01:00:02,584
I finally got my, uh, Star Wars poster
signed by Mark Hamill.
1150
01:00:02,668 --> 01:00:04,751
It's in the garage. It's… So, yeah.
1151
01:00:05,626 --> 01:00:07,709
Okay, good.
1152
01:00:08,251 --> 01:00:09,084
[chuckles]
1153
01:00:10,001 --> 01:00:11,001
That's done.
1154
01:00:11,501 --> 01:00:12,459
[Mindy] Ah…
1155
01:00:15,709 --> 01:00:18,001
Where are we gonna go for dinner tonight?
1156
01:00:18,084 --> 01:00:19,584
[jet engines roaring]
1157
01:00:22,959 --> 01:00:25,126
[people cheering]
1158
01:00:26,376 --> 01:00:28,959
The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.
1159
01:00:29,043 --> 01:00:31,793
{\an8}He makes me to lie down in green pastures.
1160
01:00:31,876 --> 01:00:36,126
{\an8}He leads me beside the quiet waters.
He restores my soul.
1161
01:00:36,209 --> 01:00:39,626
Not since D-Day have we seen
such a mass mobilization
1162
01:00:39,709 --> 01:00:43,459
of unions and resources
for such a noble task.
1163
01:00:44,084 --> 01:00:46,959
One cannot help but be moved
by the bravery, ingenuity,
1164
01:00:47,043 --> 01:00:49,126
and sacrifice on display here.
1165
01:00:49,209 --> 01:00:51,209
[overlapping reporters chattering]
1166
01:01:02,501 --> 01:01:04,376
[indistinct chatter on video]
1167
01:01:09,584 --> 01:01:12,168
Okay, here we go, everyone.
Let's stay sharp.
1168
01:01:14,084 --> 01:01:17,459
[whispers] I just want you to know,
this is the most propulsive thing
1169
01:01:17,543 --> 01:01:20,084
that's ever happened to me. Thank you.
1170
01:01:29,459 --> 01:01:31,293
[indistinct chatter on TV]
1171
01:01:33,376 --> 01:01:36,584
What's the holdup, you guys?
What are you waiting on?
1172
01:01:37,543 --> 01:01:40,668
Come on, motherfuckers,
let's light this fucking firecracker, huh?
1173
01:01:41,209 --> 01:01:42,584
Think I got all day?
1174
01:01:42,668 --> 01:01:47,251
Commander Drask,
this is your president speaking.
1175
01:01:48,501 --> 01:01:50,376
Your nation thanks you.
1176
01:01:51,126 --> 01:01:52,751
Your planet thanks you.
1177
01:01:53,459 --> 01:01:55,918
And God and I thank you.
1178
01:01:56,626 --> 01:01:59,251
[Drask] Listen, the only thanks I need
is a shot of Jack Daniels.
1179
01:01:59,334 --> 01:02:03,251
-[laughter]
-And a couple DUIs to magically go away.
1180
01:02:03,334 --> 01:02:05,043
[laughing]
1181
01:02:05,126 --> 01:02:08,959
This is Mission Control.
All indicators are coming up green.
1182
01:02:09,043 --> 01:02:11,459
This is a final warning
to control the launchpad.
1183
01:02:11,543 --> 01:02:17,251
Your discovery led to this mission
and our chance to save Earth.
1184
01:02:18,418 --> 01:02:19,709
I give you…
1185
01:02:22,084 --> 01:02:23,084
the honor.
1186
01:02:28,501 --> 01:02:29,501
Thank you.
1187
01:02:31,709 --> 01:02:35,001
[clears throat] Thank you,
Madam President.
1188
01:02:35,084 --> 01:02:36,418
[camera shutter clicking]
1189
01:02:36,501 --> 01:02:38,876
Citizens of planet Earth,
1190
01:02:39,918 --> 01:02:43,084
everything is theoretically impossible
1191
01:02:43,751 --> 01:02:45,168
until it is done.
1192
01:02:46,293 --> 01:02:47,584
And with that,
1193
01:02:47,668 --> 01:02:49,793
we are go for launch.
1194
01:02:49,876 --> 01:02:50,751
Yes.
1195
01:02:50,834 --> 01:02:52,501
-[Jason] That's fire.
-Thank you.
1196
01:02:52,584 --> 01:02:53,584
[Jason] It was lit.
1197
01:02:53,668 --> 01:02:55,793
[applause fades]
1198
01:02:55,876 --> 01:02:58,126
[Peter] Hey, everyone, mind if I join?
1199
01:02:59,168 --> 01:03:01,043
-Hello.
-[Orlean] Hello, Peter. Hi.
1200
01:03:01,126 --> 01:03:04,751
Hi. Oh, Brie, you look fabulous.
1201
01:03:04,834 --> 01:03:05,834
As always.
1202
01:03:07,001 --> 01:03:08,376
Is he allowed to be in here?
1203
01:03:08,459 --> 01:03:12,334
Yeah, he's a Platinum Eagle level donor
to the campaign. He has full clearance.
1204
01:03:12,418 --> 01:03:14,043
[man on radio] Launch mission array.
1205
01:03:14,126 --> 01:03:17,668
[sighs] Molly kicking in right now.
Timed that shit perfect.
1206
01:03:17,751 --> 01:03:20,709
Ten, nine, eight…
1207
01:03:20,793 --> 01:03:24,834
-seven, six, five, four…
-[all cheering]
1208
01:03:24,918 --> 01:03:26,168
Three…
1209
01:03:26,251 --> 01:03:27,626
-[barking]
-Ah…
1210
01:03:32,459 --> 01:03:34,834
[indistinct chatter]
1211
01:03:34,918 --> 01:03:37,918
[soaring choral music playing]
1212
01:03:40,584 --> 01:03:41,793
Thank God!
1213
01:04:00,126 --> 01:04:03,584
[Drask] ♪ Oh, Susannah
Don't you cry for me ♪
1214
01:04:03,668 --> 01:04:08,001
♪ I come from Alabama
With a banjo on my knee, hey! ♪
1215
01:04:08,084 --> 01:04:09,584
[camera shutters clicking]
1216
01:04:09,668 --> 01:04:11,626
[Oglethorpe] We didn't lose
any satellites.
1217
01:04:11,709 --> 01:04:14,959
Margin of error
was for two to malfunction.
1218
01:04:15,043 --> 01:04:19,209
Hey, Madam President, may I have a word
with you outside for a moment, please?
1219
01:04:19,834 --> 01:04:20,959
Oh, my God.
1220
01:04:21,043 --> 01:04:23,834
Mission success probability
is already increased to 81%.
1221
01:04:23,918 --> 01:04:25,918
[man] Outstanding.
1222
01:04:26,626 --> 01:04:27,793
-[Peter] Janie, now!
-[gasps]
1223
01:04:27,876 --> 01:04:30,626
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
1224
01:04:30,709 --> 01:04:32,293
Peter, I didn't mean…
1225
01:04:36,543 --> 01:04:41,751
[Drask] And a big hello to that beautiful
blue ball down there we all call home.
1226
01:04:42,251 --> 01:04:45,668
All those proud white folks working hard.
1227
01:04:46,168 --> 01:04:47,126
God bless you.
1228
01:04:47,918 --> 01:04:50,168
Just a different generation. Yeah.
1229
01:04:50,834 --> 01:04:53,709
I also wanna say hello
to all the Indians out there.
1230
01:04:53,793 --> 01:04:54,876
Both kinds.
1231
01:04:54,959 --> 01:04:59,084
You know, the ones with the elephants
and the ones with the bow and arrows.
1232
01:04:59,751 --> 01:05:01,543
Hey, why haven't you guys ever teamed up?
1233
01:05:01,626 --> 01:05:03,501
[chuckles] How cool would that be, huh?
1234
01:05:03,584 --> 01:05:05,501
I wanna say hello
to all the gays out there.
1235
01:05:05,584 --> 01:05:07,918
-Commander, booster ejection is imminent.
-Huh?
1236
01:05:08,001 --> 01:05:10,251
-Let's keep comm on mission.
-Oh. Roger that.
1237
01:05:10,751 --> 01:05:12,668
[soaring music continues]
1238
01:05:20,793 --> 01:05:22,709
[man on radio] Separation confirmed.
1239
01:05:22,793 --> 01:05:24,543
-Separation confirmed.
-Whoo!
1240
01:05:25,209 --> 01:05:27,584
[speaking French]
1241
01:05:29,126 --> 01:05:30,209
Was that French?
1242
01:05:31,501 --> 01:05:37,043
Yes, it is. It means, "the angels soar
to the heavens." It's, um…
1243
01:05:38,376 --> 01:05:42,501
It's from a 14th-century poem
I studied in Dartmouth.
1244
01:05:42,584 --> 01:05:45,918
And just watching this,
it just made me think of it,
1245
01:05:47,043 --> 01:05:48,459
and think of you.
1246
01:05:49,543 --> 01:05:50,543
God, I can't…
1247
01:05:51,418 --> 01:05:52,376
Can't…
1248
01:05:53,126 --> 01:05:56,001
[upbeat tense music playing]
1249
01:06:01,626 --> 01:06:04,168
[men chanting] {\an8}Go! Go! Go!
1250
01:06:04,251 --> 01:06:05,751
{\an8}-[groans]
-[laughter]
1251
01:06:05,834 --> 01:06:08,709
I think I probably should go
to the{\an8} [bleep] hospital and see what they…
1252
01:06:08,793 --> 01:06:10,751
[people on video] {\an8}Launch challenge!
1253
01:06:10,834 --> 01:06:13,709
[people chanting on video] {\an8}Go! Go! Go!
1254
01:06:17,501 --> 01:06:19,626
Everyone, I have just received
1255
01:06:19,709 --> 01:06:23,459
some critical information
concerning our mission.
1256
01:06:23,543 --> 01:06:25,251
[people clamoring]
1257
01:06:32,668 --> 01:06:34,334
Looks like it's turning around.
1258
01:06:37,168 --> 01:06:40,293
No, it's not. It's a course correction.
1259
01:06:40,376 --> 01:06:41,918
It's pretty standard.
1260
01:06:42,001 --> 01:06:43,459
I was in the Navy.
1261
01:06:45,126 --> 01:06:47,418
Nope. It's turning around.
1262
01:06:47,501 --> 01:06:51,209
[reporter] Seems to be
some confusion here amongst the crowd,
1263
01:06:51,293 --> 01:06:52,918
but I'm not gonna lie to you.
1264
01:06:53,001 --> 01:06:55,959
This reporter
is at a loss for words right now.
1265
01:06:56,043 --> 01:06:59,251
It's definitely turning around.
1266
01:06:59,334 --> 01:07:01,459
I'm looking straight at it.
1267
01:07:01,543 --> 01:07:05,543
Drask's ship is definitely turning around.
1268
01:07:07,959 --> 01:07:10,334
Does anyone know
what the fuck just happened?
1269
01:07:16,251 --> 01:07:17,626
It's still locked.
1270
01:07:17,709 --> 01:07:20,418
I just don't… I don't understand
what could've happened.
1271
01:07:20,501 --> 01:07:23,293
I mean, the mission was working, right?
Everything was on track.
1272
01:07:23,376 --> 01:07:26,209
Yeah. I mean,
it could've been anything, uh…
1273
01:07:26,293 --> 01:07:32,001
Guidance system could've malfunctioned,
uh, nuke destabilized, myriad of things.
1274
01:07:32,626 --> 01:07:35,668
Who was that guy that walked into
the Situation Room? He looked familiar.
1275
01:07:35,751 --> 01:07:42,126
That was Peter Isherwell, CEO of BASH,
and the third richest human ever.
1276
01:07:42,209 --> 01:07:46,168
He's the guy that, uh, bought
the Gutenberg Bible and lost it.
1277
01:07:46,251 --> 01:07:47,376
[door opens]
1278
01:07:47,459 --> 01:07:48,959
[Jason] Sorry to keep you waiting.
1279
01:07:49,043 --> 01:07:51,876
Things are, uh, extremely fluid.
1280
01:07:53,334 --> 01:07:56,959
Dr. Randall, you are now the Chief
Science Advisor to the White House.
1281
01:07:57,043 --> 01:07:57,876
What?
1282
01:07:57,959 --> 01:08:00,709
As such, you need to attend
an emergency Cabinet meeting
1283
01:08:00,793 --> 01:08:02,043
where you will be debriefed.
1284
01:08:02,126 --> 01:08:03,126
What about us?
1285
01:08:03,709 --> 01:08:06,209
You do not have clearance
for this, sweetheart. Don't trip.
1286
01:08:06,293 --> 01:08:09,043
Got you some crackers, some waters.
1287
01:08:09,126 --> 01:08:10,793
You don't need to throw it on the floor.
1288
01:08:10,876 --> 01:08:12,418
Gonna be three, four hours, tops.
1289
01:08:12,501 --> 01:08:15,626
Here, Kate. I don't know
why he threw 'em down. Here.
1290
01:08:15,709 --> 01:08:17,793
What if we have to go to the bathroom?
1291
01:08:17,876 --> 01:08:21,293
We'll lay out some newspaper for you.
Grab you a can of Febreze.
1292
01:08:21,376 --> 01:08:23,251
[Oglethorpe] Short, sweet
and simple science.
1293
01:08:23,334 --> 01:08:25,001
I'll be back. All right. Come on.
1294
01:08:25,084 --> 01:08:27,126
[Oglethorpe]
Science tells the truth, Randall.
1295
01:08:27,876 --> 01:08:28,834
[sighs]
1296
01:08:28,918 --> 01:08:30,543
Fuck. Do you wanna come?
1297
01:08:30,626 --> 01:08:31,543
Yeah.
1298
01:08:33,668 --> 01:08:35,668
[Orlean] Ladies and gentlemen,
what we thought,
1299
01:08:35,751 --> 01:08:40,751
what the world thought
was an impending and terrifying danger,
1300
01:08:41,959 --> 01:08:44,668
turns out to be
an astonishing opportunity.
1301
01:08:44,751 --> 01:08:47,209
Our allies are very confused
and demanding answers--
1302
01:08:47,293 --> 01:08:48,584
Well, tell 'em to wait.
1303
01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:54,709
According to the most recent
spectrometer readings of Comet Dibiasky,
1304
01:08:54,793 --> 01:08:57,876
made by the astrogeologists
at BASH Cellular,
1305
01:08:59,626 --> 01:09:01,334
we've discovered something.
1306
01:09:02,293 --> 01:09:05,043
Something truly miraculous.
1307
01:09:06,501 --> 01:09:08,168
Peter. Peter?
1308
01:09:08,251 --> 01:09:10,043
-Oh, thank you, Janie.
-[chuckles]
1309
01:09:12,251 --> 01:09:14,751
As, uh… As some of you may know,
1310
01:09:14,834 --> 01:09:17,584
the most valuable minerals in the world
1311
01:09:17,668 --> 01:09:19,793
are fast becoming those that are deployed
1312
01:09:19,876 --> 01:09:24,043
in the manufacture
of cell phones and, uh, computers.
1313
01:09:24,126 --> 01:09:27,626
Yttrium, terbium, osmium, dysprosium,
on and on and on.
1314
01:09:27,709 --> 01:09:29,043
We're running short.
1315
01:09:29,126 --> 01:09:31,959
Uh, and the problem
is exacerbated, of course,
1316
01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:37,959
because China has her big panda paw
firmly on almost all the mines
1317
01:09:38,043 --> 01:09:41,543
that produce
these valuable rare Earth assets.
1318
01:09:41,626 --> 01:09:43,668
So you can imagine. [laughing]
1319
01:09:43,751 --> 01:09:44,709
Wow!
1320
01:09:44,793 --> 01:09:48,584
Just how happy we were at BASH
1321
01:09:48,668 --> 01:09:52,293
when our astrogeologists discovered
1322
01:09:52,376 --> 01:09:57,043
and then determined that this comet,
hurtling towards us from deep space,
1323
01:09:57,126 --> 01:10:02,876
actually contains at least $32 trillion
of these critical materials.
1324
01:10:02,959 --> 01:10:04,709
Critical to technology.
1325
01:10:04,793 --> 01:10:06,001
If we're to proceed--
1326
01:10:06,084 --> 01:10:08,584
I'm sorry. Is that why
you aborted this entire mission,
1327
01:10:08,668 --> 01:10:11,584
is because you're trying to mine
the comet for rare minerals?
1328
01:10:11,668 --> 01:10:13,751
[Orlean] I think
we should hold all questions
1329
01:10:13,834 --> 01:10:16,501
until the end of the presentation,
1330
01:10:16,584 --> 01:10:20,168
and you might find
that your questions are answered.
1331
01:10:20,709 --> 01:10:21,793
Yes, Madam President.
1332
01:10:21,876 --> 01:10:24,918
When you…
When the other metals are factored in,
1333
01:10:25,001 --> 01:10:27,376
the comet actually contains
1334
01:10:27,459 --> 01:10:31,584
almost $140 trillion worth of assets.
1335
01:10:31,668 --> 01:10:32,959
[Jason] Buck-forty trilli.
1336
01:10:33,459 --> 01:10:35,334
-[Orlean] Yeah…
-[laughter]
1337
01:10:35,418 --> 01:10:40,043
What do these trillions of dollars
even matter if we're all gonna die--
1338
01:10:40,126 --> 01:10:42,501
[woman] I was about to ask
the same question, Janie.
1339
01:10:42,584 --> 01:10:43,709
Why weren't we consulted?
1340
01:10:43,793 --> 01:10:45,293
All due respect, Madam President…
1341
01:10:45,376 --> 01:10:47,876
Oh, no! What if we're rich and we're safe?
1342
01:10:49,043 --> 01:10:53,168
[Kate] I've gone over it
again and again and again in my head
1343
01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:56,834
and I still can't make sense of it.
1344
01:10:58,793 --> 01:11:03,834
He's a three-star general.
He works at the Pentagon.
1345
01:11:05,959 --> 01:11:09,043
Why would he charge us for free snacks?
1346
01:11:09,126 --> 01:11:12,793
One time, I met Sting,
1347
01:11:13,751 --> 01:11:18,334
and I swear to God,
he farted right in front of me.
1348
01:11:19,376 --> 01:11:24,501
Didn't break eye contact
and didn't even say "excuse me."
1349
01:11:27,543 --> 01:11:31,126
And the thing is,
he actually pulled it off. [chuckles]
1350
01:11:32,418 --> 01:11:34,918
'Cause I still found him
to be quite charming.
1351
01:11:35,959 --> 01:11:40,376
[whispering] Guys, we have to talk.
Come on, let's go. Come on, now.
1352
01:11:41,459 --> 01:11:44,668
It's insane. Like, completely insane.
1353
01:11:44,751 --> 01:11:46,084
[Kate] It will never work.
1354
01:11:46,168 --> 01:11:48,334
I had the exact same reaction.
1355
01:11:48,418 --> 01:11:51,543
This is a nine-kilometer-wide
planet-killer we're talking about,
1356
01:11:51,626 --> 01:11:53,084
not roaming charges.
1357
01:11:53,168 --> 01:11:59,084
Look, I… I was confused and outraged
that they turned this mission around too,
1358
01:11:59,168 --> 01:12:01,751
but they've got
Gary Talcamont from Stanford
1359
01:12:01,834 --> 01:12:04,001
and Lisa Inez from Princeton
on their team.
1360
01:12:04,084 --> 01:12:07,793
I mean, this is next-generation
cutting-edge technology.
1361
01:12:07,876 --> 01:12:14,668
Obviously, one giant comet is a major
and existential, uh, threat to our planet,
1362
01:12:14,751 --> 01:12:20,043
but 30 smaller meteoroids, we can handle.
1363
01:12:20,959 --> 01:12:26,668
Our BEADS, that stands for
BASH, uh, Explore and Acquire Drones,
1364
01:12:26,751 --> 01:12:28,126
that you see here,
1365
01:12:28,209 --> 01:12:30,876
attach themselves to the comet
1366
01:12:30,959 --> 01:12:33,418
and scan it with nanotechnology
1367
01:12:33,501 --> 01:12:36,626
developed by
Nobel Prize-winning scientist,
1368
01:12:36,709 --> 01:12:37,709
Dr. Gary Talcamont.
1369
01:12:37,793 --> 01:12:40,543
And then we immediately deploy, don't we?
1370
01:12:40,626 --> 01:12:42,876
Nobel and Polonsky prize-winning scientist
1371
01:12:42,959 --> 01:12:48,293
Dr. Inez's micro-targeted,
quantum fission, uh, explosives.
1372
01:12:48,376 --> 01:12:51,668
You see, deep into the object…
1373
01:12:51,751 --> 01:12:54,501
Dr. Inez, would you like
to explain what's happening?
1374
01:12:54,584 --> 01:12:55,459
Thank you, Peter.
1375
01:12:55,543 --> 01:12:58,293
We've been developing
phase-fission reactions
1376
01:12:58,376 --> 01:13:00,418
in the CERN particle accelerator
1377
01:13:00,501 --> 01:13:03,168
that can splinter the comet
into smaller pieces
1378
01:13:03,251 --> 01:13:05,376
with breathtaking accuracy.
1379
01:13:05,459 --> 01:13:08,834
These segments are then steered
and decelerated by each BEAD
1380
01:13:08,918 --> 01:13:13,668
into the Pacific Ocean for reclamation
by waiting US Navy ships.
1381
01:13:13,751 --> 01:13:15,709
And when these… Thank you.
1382
01:13:15,793 --> 01:13:19,918
And when these treasures
from heaven are claimed,
1383
01:13:20,001 --> 01:13:23,959
poverty as we know it,
social injustice, loss of biodiversity,
1384
01:13:24,043 --> 01:13:26,751
all these multitudes of problems
1385
01:13:26,834 --> 01:13:30,168
are just gonna become relics of the past
1386
01:13:30,251 --> 01:13:35,668
and humanity is gonna stride through
the Pillars of Boaz and Jachin naked
1387
01:13:35,751 --> 01:13:38,293
into the the glory of a golden age…
1388
01:13:38,376 --> 01:13:41,543
And is this nanotech work peer-reviewed?
1389
01:13:41,626 --> 01:13:45,209
Well, I haven't reviewed the data,
but it's been modeled.
1390
01:13:45,293 --> 01:13:47,168
Has any of this been peer-reviewed?
1391
01:13:48,043 --> 01:13:48,876
Nope.
1392
01:13:48,959 --> 01:13:51,293
Interplanetary, interstellar,
1393
01:13:51,376 --> 01:13:56,168
intergalactic existence
for the human race.
1394
01:13:56,251 --> 01:13:57,626
[applause]
1395
01:13:59,168 --> 01:14:00,959
[Orlean] Your mouth to God's ear.
1396
01:14:01,501 --> 01:14:05,084
I understand the wealth
that they can extract from this comet,
1397
01:14:05,168 --> 01:14:06,334
it can end world hunger.
1398
01:14:06,418 --> 01:14:08,209
-[Oglethorpe] Oh, I see.
-[Kate laughing]
1399
01:14:08,293 --> 01:14:10,876
-Why are you laughing?
-[Oglethorpe] That's true. No, I see.
1400
01:14:10,959 --> 01:14:15,376
So that's the pretty little bow they're
putting around this line of bullshit.
1401
01:14:15,459 --> 01:14:17,293
I bet they'll say freedom and puppies too.
1402
01:14:17,376 --> 01:14:18,209
-All right.
-Yeah.
1403
01:14:18,293 --> 01:14:21,959
You want me to quit the mission?
I'll quit the mission. That's fine.
1404
01:14:22,459 --> 01:14:25,751
But you have to understand,
this is now beyond our control.
1405
01:14:25,834 --> 01:14:27,251
They have all the power.
1406
01:14:27,334 --> 01:14:30,001
So who do you want
in the actual room to make sure
1407
01:14:30,084 --> 01:14:33,043
this whole thing doesn't turn out to be
a complete goddamn disaster?
1408
01:14:33,126 --> 01:14:35,751
Jason Orlean?
You want Jason Orlean in that room? Huh?
1409
01:14:35,834 --> 01:14:40,168
I have news for you.
It's already a complete disaster.
1410
01:14:40,251 --> 01:14:43,793
They're talking about letting
a comet the size of a mountain
1411
01:14:43,876 --> 01:14:46,668
hit the planet to jack up
a cell phone company's stock!
1412
01:14:46,751 --> 01:14:49,959
You better take that down
about four or five notches now.
1413
01:14:50,043 --> 01:14:53,668
Were you yelling about that mission?
Why were you talking about cell phones?
1414
01:14:53,751 --> 01:14:56,793
My friend was just theorizing
as to what's going on.
1415
01:14:56,876 --> 01:14:58,334
We're confused too.
1416
01:14:58,418 --> 01:15:01,501
That's an awfully official-looking
White House badge you got there.
1417
01:15:01,584 --> 01:15:03,334
I don't know why I have this on.
1418
01:15:03,418 --> 01:15:05,168
Listen, just tell us what's going on.
1419
01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:07,668
I got three scared kids at home.
Just tell us something.
1420
01:15:07,751 --> 01:15:10,376
I understand.
I wish I could share information, but--
1421
01:15:10,459 --> 01:15:13,001
We're people just like you.
We deserve to know!
1422
01:15:13,084 --> 01:15:13,959
They're right.
1423
01:15:15,001 --> 01:15:16,126
They deserve to know.
1424
01:15:17,043 --> 01:15:18,876
Do you really wanna know what's going on?
1425
01:15:18,959 --> 01:15:20,084
-[woman] Yeah.
-[man] Please.
1426
01:15:20,168 --> 01:15:22,626
-[Oglethorpe] Kate, don't. Kate.
-[Mindy] Kate.
1427
01:15:23,584 --> 01:15:29,001
They found a bunch of gold and diamonds
and rare shit on the comet.
1428
01:15:29,084 --> 01:15:29,918
[sighs]
1429
01:15:30,001 --> 01:15:32,209
So they're gonna let it hit the planet
1430
01:15:32,293 --> 01:15:36,459
to make a bunch of rich people
even more disgustingly rich!
1431
01:15:42,959 --> 01:15:44,043
[woman] Fuck you!
1432
01:15:44,126 --> 01:15:46,126
[people clamoring]
1433
01:15:47,501 --> 01:15:49,293
[people shouting and screaming]
1434
01:15:54,751 --> 01:15:56,543
[officer] No camera!
1435
01:15:56,626 --> 01:15:58,584
…everything I could, they won't listen.
1436
01:15:58,668 --> 01:16:00,001
[Kate] Surprise, surprise.
1437
01:16:00,084 --> 01:16:02,959
Now, I'm starting to think
you just like riling people up.
1438
01:16:03,043 --> 01:16:05,001
I'm so sorry, Kate. Really, I am.
1439
01:16:05,084 --> 01:16:07,084
[Kate] Oh, Randall. God.
1440
01:16:07,918 --> 01:16:09,918
Where's Brie Evantee?
1441
01:16:10,001 --> 01:16:12,418
Shouldn't you two
be playing footsie in a restaurant
1442
01:16:12,501 --> 01:16:14,626
that only serves cubes and foam?
1443
01:16:14,709 --> 01:16:18,126
Well, she ain't wrong.
You did lose the thread in a big way.
1444
01:16:18,209 --> 01:16:21,418
And what do you suggest we do?
An online petition, huh?
1445
01:16:21,501 --> 01:16:24,459
You want to hold…
Get a mob and hold up picket signs?
1446
01:16:24,543 --> 01:16:27,001
You wanna overthrow the government?
I mean, look at this.
1447
01:16:27,084 --> 01:16:28,918
[Kate] I can't! My head is in a bag!
1448
01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:31,626
[agent] Sorry, Dr. Mindy.
White House wants her off the grid.
1449
01:16:31,709 --> 01:16:33,209
-Come on, now. Look--
-[agent] Now.
1450
01:16:33,293 --> 01:16:36,001
[Kate] Wait. What does that mean?
What the hell does that mean?
1451
01:16:36,084 --> 01:16:38,459
-What does "off the grid" mean?
-[Mindy] Hey, Kate.
1452
01:16:39,334 --> 01:16:42,459
Oh, gosh. Kate! Are you okay?
1453
01:16:42,543 --> 01:16:45,501
[people shouting indistinctly]
1454
01:16:45,584 --> 01:16:48,876
Teddy, come on!
What choice do I have here?
1455
01:16:51,209 --> 01:16:53,584
A man's always got choices, Randall!
1456
01:16:53,668 --> 01:16:56,501
Sometimes you just gotta
choose the good one!
1457
01:16:56,584 --> 01:16:57,834
[dog barking]
1458
01:16:57,918 --> 01:17:00,084
[uneasy music playing]
1459
01:17:03,126 --> 01:17:04,751
[man] Miss Katelyn Dibiasky,
1460
01:17:04,834 --> 01:17:08,251
the charges against you are
violation of national security secrets,
1461
01:17:08,334 --> 01:17:11,126
inciting a riot,
and destruction of private property
1462
01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:13,709
owned by Bojo Mambo's Shrimp LLC.
1463
01:17:13,793 --> 01:17:14,626
What? I didn't--
1464
01:17:14,709 --> 01:17:17,626
However, the Attorney General
is willing to not pursue prosecution
1465
01:17:17,709 --> 01:17:19,251
if you will agree to the following:
1466
01:17:19,334 --> 01:17:22,001
"The suspension
of all public media appearances
1467
01:17:22,084 --> 01:17:26,751
and incendiary language relating to
Comet Dibiasky and BASH Cellular."
1468
01:17:28,959 --> 01:17:32,376
Fine. Give it to me.
I don't give a shit anymore.
1469
01:17:47,918 --> 01:17:49,459
Mom. Dad.
1470
01:17:49,959 --> 01:17:52,209
[sniffles] I'm so glad to be home.
1471
01:17:54,918 --> 01:17:55,918
Unlock the door.
1472
01:17:56,001 --> 01:17:57,793
No politics. None.
1473
01:17:58,251 --> 01:17:59,626
What are you talking about?
1474
01:18:00,126 --> 01:18:02,834
Your dad and I are for the jobs
the comet will provide.
1475
01:18:04,168 --> 01:18:05,084
[Kate scoffs]
1476
01:18:05,751 --> 01:18:07,959
The divisions in this country
are bad enough.
1477
01:18:08,668 --> 01:18:10,501
We don't want more of that in our house.
1478
01:18:11,959 --> 01:18:14,251
-[serene music playing on TV]
-[laughing] Whoa!
1479
01:18:14,334 --> 01:18:16,168
-Slow down, kids.
-[boy] Sorry, Mom.
1480
01:18:17,334 --> 01:18:19,376
I worry about my kids and their future.
1481
01:18:19,918 --> 01:18:22,543
Sure, the jobs
the comet's gonna create sound great.
1482
01:18:23,084 --> 01:18:24,334
What if it's not safe?
1483
01:18:24,918 --> 01:18:29,293
{\an8}Right now, millions of you are having
these same doubts and questions
1484
01:18:29,376 --> 01:18:31,251
{\an8}about the approaching comet.
1485
01:18:31,334 --> 01:18:32,751
{\an8}That is why BASH Cellular
1486
01:18:32,834 --> 01:18:35,209
in conjunction with
the United States Government
1487
01:18:35,293 --> 01:18:40,084
is creating a new hotline, free of charge,
to answer all of your questions.
1488
01:18:40,793 --> 01:18:46,168
And who knows? Maybe,
just maybe, one of our scientists…
1489
01:18:46,251 --> 01:18:49,584
Thank you, Sharon.
Makes me feel so much better.
1490
01:18:49,668 --> 01:18:53,876
…can be that friend we all need
to lean on during uncertain times.
1491
01:18:55,251 --> 01:18:58,793
[announcer on TV]
Call 1-800-532-4500 for peace of mind.
1492
01:18:58,876 --> 01:19:00,501
{\an8}Offer only available to BASH customers.
1493
01:19:00,584 --> 01:19:02,959
{\an8}Details of your call may be shared
with other subsidiaries
1494
01:19:03,043 --> 01:19:05,959
{\an8}to enhance your customer experience.
Data and roaming charges apply.
1495
01:19:06,043 --> 01:19:09,459
[Brie laughing] So, I thought he was
the ambassador. I was just flattering him.
1496
01:19:09,543 --> 01:19:13,584
[chuckling] Well, he was a waiter.
Now he's got an ego the size of Texas.
1497
01:19:16,959 --> 01:19:18,168
Oh, my God.
1498
01:19:19,293 --> 01:19:22,918
June, what, uh…
What are you doing here, sweetie?
1499
01:19:24,751 --> 01:19:27,501
Had a feeling
something was going on and just…
1500
01:19:28,376 --> 01:19:32,001
[Mindy] Well, you know,
we're discussing important business.
1501
01:19:32,084 --> 01:19:35,501
-That's what we're doing.
-Oh, yeah, that's really very important.
1502
01:19:35,584 --> 01:19:37,793
Oh, can we just
skip past this part, please?
1503
01:19:37,876 --> 01:19:39,543
Where you get to feel self-righteous
1504
01:19:39,626 --> 01:19:43,084
and we put our tails between our legs.
It is just so boring.
1505
01:19:43,168 --> 01:19:44,834
[sarcastically] Oh, it's "so boring"?
1506
01:19:44,918 --> 01:19:49,334
You wanna skip the part where
you feel bad for screwing my husband?
1507
01:19:49,918 --> 01:19:52,626
Oh… No, I don't feel bad.
1508
01:19:52,709 --> 01:19:56,459
Randall and I are having a wonderful time.
So, I think the question is,
1509
01:19:56,543 --> 01:20:01,834
do we keep having a wonderful time
or does he go back with you to Wisconsin?
1510
01:20:01,918 --> 01:20:02,793
Or Montana.
1511
01:20:02,876 --> 01:20:04,918
-Michigan?
-Michigan.
1512
01:20:06,834 --> 01:20:08,084
[hesitates]
1513
01:20:08,168 --> 01:20:12,543
You know, um… she is actually right.
1514
01:20:13,334 --> 01:20:16,376
That's the only question. So…
1515
01:20:19,001 --> 01:20:20,793
[Mindy] Well, June, sweetie…
1516
01:20:20,876 --> 01:20:23,918
[breathing heavily]
Sometimes in life things are, you know,
1517
01:20:24,001 --> 01:20:26,501
they're complicated and they just--
1518
01:20:26,584 --> 01:20:27,709
[Mrs. Mindy] Oh, okay.
1519
01:20:30,001 --> 01:20:31,709
Oh, that was fast, um…
1520
01:20:32,876 --> 01:20:33,834
[clicks tongue]
1521
01:20:35,293 --> 01:20:38,418
Well, before I go, um,
1522
01:20:38,501 --> 01:20:41,418
let me just give you some instructions
1523
01:20:42,376 --> 01:20:45,501
on how to take care of Randall.
1524
01:20:46,126 --> 01:20:47,084
Uh…
1525
01:20:47,168 --> 01:20:50,584
Yeah, here's the Xanax
he takes for his panic attacks.
1526
01:20:50,668 --> 01:20:51,501
Oh, gosh.
1527
01:20:51,584 --> 01:20:54,501
Here's the Zoloft he takes
for the crashing depressions.
1528
01:20:54,584 --> 01:20:58,293
-Not so much recently. Okay, you know--
-Oh! Oh, good for you. Great.
1529
01:20:58,376 --> 01:21:02,043
-Uh, this is for his blood pressure.
-Ow.
1530
01:21:02,126 --> 01:21:04,751
-Restless leg syndrome, that's a fun one.
-God.
1531
01:21:06,751 --> 01:21:10,918
Oh. Appetite suppressant to counteract
the weight gain from his other meds.
1532
01:21:11,001 --> 01:21:15,918
And, uh, for America's sexiest scientist,
a bottle of goddamn Cialis!
1533
01:21:16,001 --> 01:21:17,418
Ow! Gosh.
1534
01:21:26,626 --> 01:21:28,084
Goodbye. Goodbye, Randall.
1535
01:21:28,168 --> 01:21:29,959
I guess I'll just tell your sons
1536
01:21:30,043 --> 01:21:32,418
that Dad's fucking
the lady on our television.
1537
01:21:33,459 --> 01:21:34,834
June, I…
1538
01:21:36,293 --> 01:21:38,501
I really thought for a second
that was gonna work out.
1539
01:21:38,584 --> 01:21:40,293
-[door closes]
-[sighs]
1540
01:21:40,376 --> 01:21:43,709
People, they wanna
manage the comet to create jobs.
1541
01:21:43,793 --> 01:21:45,834
Thirty-seven percent
don't want the comet to hit.
1542
01:21:45,918 --> 01:21:47,626
That's actually down by three points.
1543
01:21:47,709 --> 01:21:50,834
And 23%, they don't think
there's a comet at all,
1544
01:21:50,918 --> 01:21:52,709
and that number is way up.
1545
01:21:53,543 --> 01:21:56,834
Not Bitcoin, RatCoin. RatCoin.
1546
01:21:56,918 --> 01:21:58,876
[indistinct chatter on TV]
1547
01:21:59,626 --> 01:22:01,876
I'd like to buy these sunglasses.
1548
01:22:10,209 --> 01:22:12,501
You that girl from live TV
who said we're all gonna die?
1549
01:22:13,084 --> 01:22:15,001
No. What's your purchase?
1550
01:22:18,293 --> 01:22:19,251
[scoffs]
1551
01:22:19,334 --> 01:22:20,293
What the fuck?
1552
01:22:20,376 --> 01:22:23,084
-Yeah, that's you. It's definitely you.
-Yep, that's me.
1553
01:22:23,168 --> 01:22:26,876
Holy shit. You're a stone-cold legend.
Word is bond.
1554
01:22:28,168 --> 01:22:29,626
I got a picture of you on my board.
1555
01:22:29,709 --> 01:22:31,084
Picture on his fucking board.
1556
01:22:31,168 --> 01:22:33,168
[Kate] That's great. What's your purchase?
1557
01:22:33,251 --> 01:22:36,459
If you don't have one, get out of line
and make room for other customers.
1558
01:22:36,543 --> 01:22:38,834
Can I touch your hair in a non-sexual way?
1559
01:22:38,918 --> 01:22:41,584
-Get the fuck away from me.
-Oh, dude, have some… Um…
1560
01:22:42,626 --> 01:22:45,084
Call Diogo, he'll freak out.
Will you say hi to my friend?
1561
01:22:45,168 --> 01:22:47,793
Dude, he's obsessed with you.
We love you. We don't like…
1562
01:22:47,876 --> 01:22:49,293
Can't stand Orlean, either.
1563
01:22:49,376 --> 01:22:53,459
-Yo, yo, yo!
-[Diogo] Yo!
1564
01:22:53,543 --> 01:22:54,626
What's up? Yo, check out…
1565
01:22:54,709 --> 01:22:57,126
Yo, shut the fuck up.
Check out who we're with.
1566
01:22:57,209 --> 01:22:59,876
-Yo, bro! What up?
-What up?
1567
01:22:59,959 --> 01:23:01,209
[laughter and chatter]
1568
01:23:01,293 --> 01:23:04,001
I mean, we have a purchase,
but we don't have payment,
1569
01:23:04,084 --> 01:23:05,626
which is a metaphor on…
1570
01:23:07,251 --> 01:23:09,334
-Cash?
-[man] Also, Phillip, I've been told…
1571
01:23:09,418 --> 01:23:10,709
-Right.
-…that you wrote a book
1572
01:23:10,793 --> 01:23:13,501
about your past relationship
with Kate Dibiasky.
1573
01:23:13,584 --> 01:23:16,001
Funny you should say that,
I'm working on that now.
1574
01:23:16,084 --> 01:23:18,626
It's gonna be called
A Brush With The Devil, and it's, uh…
1575
01:23:18,709 --> 01:23:20,834
You calling security
or something, with your eyes?
1576
01:23:20,918 --> 01:23:22,168
No. You're free to go.
1577
01:23:22,251 --> 01:23:24,376
-[man] That sounds terrible.
-Just like that?
1578
01:23:24,459 --> 01:23:25,584
[chuckles]
1579
01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:27,168
You don't give a shit, do you?
1580
01:23:29,001 --> 01:23:30,001
Sure, I do.
1581
01:23:30,084 --> 01:23:33,084
I care about DrinkMo's guarantee
of quality service.
1582
01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:35,543
Well, we don't give a shit either.
1583
01:23:35,626 --> 01:23:37,251
Not one single shit.
1584
01:23:37,334 --> 01:23:40,334
We hang and board behind the abandoned
Burger Crown from 7:00 to whenever.
1585
01:23:40,418 --> 01:23:41,251
Yeah, we do.
1586
01:23:41,334 --> 01:23:43,793
You should come hang.
If you're not a fucking pussy.
1587
01:23:46,709 --> 01:23:48,376
[Phillip] Oh, you know, it's me…
1588
01:23:48,459 --> 01:23:51,001
-Fuck. Okay. Thanks.
-…and a bottle of scotch.
1589
01:23:52,001 --> 01:23:54,543
It's a joke. But also…
1590
01:23:55,043 --> 01:23:58,043
{\an8}[dramatic music playing]
1591
01:24:06,584 --> 01:24:09,126
[Peter] Okay, let me introduce you
1592
01:24:10,001 --> 01:24:16,376
uh, to mankind's savior,
BASH Explore and Acquire Drone.
1593
01:24:16,459 --> 01:24:17,543
It's incredible.
1594
01:24:17,626 --> 01:24:19,168
It's incredible, isn't it?
1595
01:24:19,251 --> 01:24:22,876
I call this one Primo,
the first. [laughing]
1596
01:24:22,959 --> 01:24:24,459
It's like my first child.
1597
01:24:25,126 --> 01:24:31,334
Primo, my boy.
It's your father, Cronos. [laughing]
1598
01:24:31,418 --> 01:24:35,084
Don't be shy. Come on.
You're gonna be a god in the sky.
1599
01:24:35,168 --> 01:24:37,168
[laughter]
1600
01:24:41,459 --> 01:24:46,626
Are you at all concerned about
the sync on the BEAD explosions?
1601
01:24:46,709 --> 01:24:50,626
Oh, Doctor.
There are always questions and fears, and…
1602
01:24:51,293 --> 01:24:54,543
I have a report here from a Dr. Inez.
1603
01:24:54,626 --> 01:24:57,084
-If you'd just take a look at this study.
-Oh, thanks.
1604
01:24:57,168 --> 01:24:59,376
Listen, a lot of my colleagues,
1605
01:24:59,459 --> 01:25:01,918
they've either been removed
or resigned from this project,
1606
01:25:02,001 --> 01:25:06,126
apparently for asking too many questions
about this mission here.
1607
01:25:06,209 --> 01:25:08,793
So I just wanna make sure that you're…
1608
01:25:09,376 --> 01:25:11,918
That you're open
to the scientific peer-review process
1609
01:25:12,001 --> 01:25:14,626
and you're not approaching
this mission like a businessman.
1610
01:25:14,709 --> 01:25:16,459
-You know? That--
-What did you say?
1611
01:25:16,959 --> 01:25:20,251
-I wanna know if you're--
-Did you call me a businessman?
1612
01:25:20,918 --> 01:25:23,959
-You do own a corporate--
-You think I'm just a businessman?
1613
01:25:25,543 --> 01:25:27,834
Do you think you know me, Doctor?
1614
01:25:29,418 --> 01:25:30,334
Business?
1615
01:25:31,293 --> 01:25:35,168
This is evolution.
This is evolution of the human species.
1616
01:25:36,168 --> 01:25:38,168
-What are you doing bringing this…
-[Orlean] Well--
1617
01:25:38,251 --> 01:25:41,418
You know that BASH has
over 40 million data points on you,
1618
01:25:41,501 --> 01:25:45,501
on every decision you have made
since 1994, Doctor?
1619
01:25:45,584 --> 01:25:50,084
I… I know when you have colon polyps
1620
01:25:50,168 --> 01:25:51,876
months before your doctor does.
1621
01:25:51,959 --> 01:25:53,793
You got four or five
at the moment actually.
1622
01:25:53,876 --> 01:25:57,418
You know, they're not of concern,
but I'd have a checkup as soon as you can.
1623
01:25:57,501 --> 01:26:01,959
But much more importantly than that,
I know what you are. I know who you are.
1624
01:26:02,043 --> 01:26:07,043
My algorithms have determined
eight fundamental consumer profile types.
1625
01:26:07,126 --> 01:26:10,834
You are a lifestyle idealist.
1626
01:26:10,918 --> 01:26:15,168
You think you're motivated
by beliefs, high ethical beliefs.
1627
01:26:15,251 --> 01:26:20,168
But you just run towards pleasure
and away from pain.
1628
01:26:22,418 --> 01:26:25,043
Like a… Like a field mouse.
1629
01:26:27,168 --> 01:26:28,543
[Mindy] I'm just trying to…
1630
01:26:28,626 --> 01:26:29,876
[inhales deeply]
1631
01:26:29,959 --> 01:26:32,918
I just wanna make sure
that the science is sound on this project.
1632
01:26:33,001 --> 01:26:34,084
I hope you understand--
1633
01:26:34,168 --> 01:26:38,293
Our algorithms
can even predict how you'll die.
1634
01:26:39,168 --> 01:26:44,418
To 96… 96.5% accuracy.
1635
01:26:44,501 --> 01:26:46,376
I looked you up after we met.
1636
01:26:47,584 --> 01:26:52,043
Your death was so unremarkable and boring.
1637
01:26:52,709 --> 01:26:56,793
I can't remember the details,
apart from one thing.
1638
01:26:59,043 --> 01:27:00,793
You're gonna die alone.
1639
01:27:03,793 --> 01:27:04,834
Alone.
1640
01:27:05,334 --> 01:27:10,001
If you'll excuse me, Madam President.
I've got some work to do.
1641
01:27:10,084 --> 01:27:11,751
[Orlean] What the hell are you doing?
1642
01:27:11,834 --> 01:27:14,376
-My God.
-I was trying to do my job.
1643
01:27:14,459 --> 01:27:17,751
You are just so lucky
that Peter adores you.
1644
01:27:23,293 --> 01:27:24,168
[sighs]
1645
01:27:25,126 --> 01:27:27,418
You're with the grown-ups now, Randall.
1646
01:27:27,501 --> 01:27:29,126
I can't even follow this shit anymore!
1647
01:27:29,209 --> 01:27:32,001
-[music playing on speakers]
-[indistinct chatter]
1648
01:27:35,209 --> 01:27:40,418
BASH got Orlean to pay
the Chilean government, if I'm correct,
1649
01:27:40,501 --> 01:27:44,626
$90 billion to let the tsunami
hit off the coast of the country.
1650
01:27:44,709 --> 01:27:45,709
That sound right to you?
1651
01:27:45,793 --> 01:27:47,709
[man 3] Isherwell built
an underground bunker
1652
01:27:47,793 --> 01:27:49,376
for him and all his executives.
1653
01:27:49,459 --> 01:27:51,834
No, I heard that
they built an escape ship.
1654
01:27:51,918 --> 01:27:55,293
You guys,
the truth is way more depressing.
1655
01:27:56,334 --> 01:28:00,251
They're not even smart enough to be
as evil as you're giving them credit for.
1656
01:28:00,876 --> 01:28:01,876
[glass shatters]
1657
01:28:01,959 --> 01:28:03,834
[people clamoring, cheering]
1658
01:28:06,001 --> 01:28:06,876
Ugh!
1659
01:28:06,959 --> 01:28:08,584
-What?
-No.
1660
01:28:09,543 --> 01:28:10,668
[people shouting]
1661
01:28:12,959 --> 01:28:16,168
Fuck! You're driving me fucking
crazy, Kate. [chuckles nervously]
1662
01:28:16,251 --> 01:28:17,876
Fuck it. We're all gonna die.
1663
01:28:17,959 --> 01:28:19,209
♪ …sun, ice cream ♪
1664
01:28:19,293 --> 01:28:21,626
♪ You smooth like felt
Soft to the touch ♪
1665
01:28:21,709 --> 01:28:25,001
♪ You wear repellent
Smell your scent from up above ♪
1666
01:28:25,084 --> 01:28:27,543
♪ Angel getting carried out the club ♪
1667
01:28:27,626 --> 01:28:30,209
♪ For slapping Harry
Harry's just a mug ♪
1668
01:28:30,293 --> 01:28:32,793
♪ I'm stood outside waiting
Where you gone? ♪
1669
01:28:32,876 --> 01:28:35,293
♪ Cubicle lines
Catch a cold, Jack Frost ♪
1670
01:28:35,376 --> 01:28:36,793
[Jack] …movie will be released
1671
01:28:36,876 --> 01:28:40,209
the day that some believe
Comet Dibiasky will impact the planet.
1672
01:28:40,293 --> 01:28:42,793
And the early word is
it's already a classic, Brie.
1673
01:28:42,876 --> 01:28:45,543
[Brie] Oh, yes.
Well, and what a stellar cast.
1674
01:28:45,626 --> 01:28:48,084
-Devin. Yeah.
-I love Devin Peters.
1675
01:28:48,168 --> 01:28:49,668
He's great. Everything he does.
1676
01:28:49,751 --> 01:28:52,751
-What's it called again?
-[Jack] It's called Total Devastation.
1677
01:28:52,834 --> 01:28:56,251
-It cost $300 million to make.
-[Brie] Whoo!
1678
01:28:56,334 --> 01:28:59,376
-I mean, these movies--
-[laughs] It's more than you earn.
1679
01:28:59,459 --> 01:29:01,834
[Jack] Tell me about it.
And my friend Farley, he saw it.
1680
01:29:01,918 --> 01:29:04,668
-He said it's a ton of fun. That's right.
-Well, Farley likes it.
1681
01:29:04,751 --> 01:29:07,293
All right, well, what Farley says goes.
1682
01:29:07,376 --> 01:29:08,626
But, uh, first,
1683
01:29:09,459 --> 01:29:12,501
and yes, you can tell from my smile…
1684
01:29:12,584 --> 01:29:13,876
[chuckles] Stop it.
1685
01:29:13,959 --> 01:29:18,959
That America's sexiest scientist is here.
Dr. Randall. Welcome.
1686
01:29:19,709 --> 01:29:21,418
Dr. Randall, how are you, sir?
1687
01:29:21,501 --> 01:29:24,251
[sighs] I'm-- I'm good.
I'm gooder than good.
1688
01:29:24,334 --> 01:29:25,626
[laughter]
1689
01:29:25,709 --> 01:29:30,876
All right. So, Randall, we're hearing
that there is no comet,
1690
01:29:30,959 --> 01:29:34,418
or that there is a comet but it's
a good thing or maybe it's a bad thing.
1691
01:29:34,501 --> 01:29:36,793
We are so confused. [chuckles]
1692
01:29:36,876 --> 01:29:41,209
So, could you please help us out here,
you know, oh, wise scientist?
1693
01:29:42,584 --> 01:29:45,459
Well, first and foremost, Brie, um…
1694
01:29:45,543 --> 01:29:47,876
[sniffs] …there most certainly
is a comet.
1695
01:29:47,959 --> 01:29:48,834
[Brie] All right.
1696
01:29:48,918 --> 01:29:52,168
And we know that there is a comet
because we have the data.
1697
01:29:53,168 --> 01:29:54,459
Um… [clears throat]
1698
01:29:54,543 --> 01:29:58,709
There has been growing concern within
the scientific community as of late.
1699
01:29:59,376 --> 01:30:02,918
You see, the peer-review process
is absolutely essential…
1700
01:30:03,001 --> 01:30:05,626
-If BASH's stock…
-…for us to get to the facts of… Yes?
1701
01:30:05,709 --> 01:30:07,376
If BASH's stock is any indicator,
1702
01:30:07,459 --> 01:30:09,376
we don't have to worry
about the peer review.
1703
01:30:09,459 --> 01:30:10,626
It is going gangbusters.
1704
01:30:10,709 --> 01:30:13,168
And full disclosure.
I bought as many shares as I could.
1705
01:30:13,251 --> 01:30:14,543
I advise you to do the same.
1706
01:30:14,626 --> 01:30:16,376
You are such a shameless capitalist.
1707
01:30:16,459 --> 01:30:19,501
Said the woman who will be
in the brand-new hot tub on my back deck
1708
01:30:19,584 --> 01:30:22,126
-when I put it in from the stock.
-You know me too well.
1709
01:30:22,209 --> 01:30:23,251
That's right.
1710
01:30:23,334 --> 01:30:25,918
Dr. Randall, you sure you're okay?
You want a glass of water…
1711
01:30:26,001 --> 01:30:27,209
I don't feel so good.
1712
01:30:27,293 --> 01:30:29,668
[Brie] So I think we'll go
to commercial break--
1713
01:30:29,751 --> 01:30:33,334
No, Please, Brie. Don't cut away.
Let me say something.
1714
01:30:33,418 --> 01:30:34,959
-Okay.
-You came to the right place.
1715
01:30:35,043 --> 01:30:36,418
We like to say things.
1716
01:30:36,501 --> 01:30:40,459
Would you please
just stop being so [bleep] pleasant?
1717
01:30:41,876 --> 01:30:44,834
I'm sorry, but not everything
needs to sound so goddamn clever
1718
01:30:44,918 --> 01:30:47,126
or charming or likeable all the time.
1719
01:30:47,209 --> 01:30:50,626
Sometimes we need to just be able
to say things to one another.
1720
01:30:50,709 --> 01:30:52,126
We need to hear things.
1721
01:30:53,876 --> 01:30:57,168
Look, let's establish, once again,
1722
01:30:57,834 --> 01:31:01,959
that there is a huge comet
headed towards Earth.
1723
01:31:02,709 --> 01:31:05,334
And the reason we know
that there is a comet
1724
01:31:05,418 --> 01:31:06,876
is because we saw it.
1725
01:31:06,959 --> 01:31:10,251
We saw it with our own eyes
using a telescope.
1726
01:31:10,334 --> 01:31:13,543
I mean, for God's sake,
we took a fucking picture of it!
1727
01:31:13,626 --> 01:31:15,334
What other proof do we need?
1728
01:31:15,834 --> 01:31:18,418
And if we can't all agree
at the bare minimum
1729
01:31:18,501 --> 01:31:22,918
that a giant comet
the size of Mount Everest
1730
01:31:23,001 --> 01:31:29,084
hurtling its way towards planet Earth
is not a fucking good thing,
1731
01:31:29,876 --> 01:31:32,168
then what the hell happened to us?
1732
01:31:33,043 --> 01:31:37,376
I mean, my God, how do--
How do we even talk to each other?
1733
01:31:37,459 --> 01:31:41,251
What've we… What've we done to ourselves?
How do we fix it?
1734
01:31:41,334 --> 01:31:44,834
We should have deflected this comet
when we had the fucking chance,
1735
01:31:44,918 --> 01:31:48,126
but we didn't do it.
I don't know why we didn't do it.
1736
01:31:48,209 --> 01:31:52,001
And now they're
actually firing scientists like me
1737
01:31:52,084 --> 01:31:54,709
for speaking out, for opposing them.
1738
01:31:55,459 --> 01:31:57,918
And I'm sure many of the people out there
1739
01:31:58,001 --> 01:32:00,001
aren't even
gonna listen to what I just said
1740
01:32:00,084 --> 01:32:02,876
'cause they have
their own political ideology,
1741
01:32:03,543 --> 01:32:05,959
but I… assure you,
1742
01:32:06,626 --> 01:32:08,626
I am not on one side or the other.
1743
01:32:08,709 --> 01:32:10,959
I'm just telling you the fucking truth.
1744
01:32:11,043 --> 01:32:12,668
This would be a good time to establish
1745
01:32:12,751 --> 01:32:15,293
that Isherwell and the president
have both said
1746
01:32:15,376 --> 01:32:17,001
that there's benefits to be--
1747
01:32:17,084 --> 01:32:21,793
Right, well, the president
of the United States is fucking lying!
1748
01:32:23,168 --> 01:32:24,751
Look, I'm just like all of you.
1749
01:32:24,834 --> 01:32:29,876
I hope to God, I hope to God that
this president knows what she's doing.
1750
01:32:29,959 --> 01:32:33,793
I hope she's got us all taken care of,
but the truth is,
1751
01:32:33,876 --> 01:32:36,918
I think this whole administration
1752
01:32:37,001 --> 01:32:41,543
has completely lost their fucking mind!
1753
01:32:41,626 --> 01:32:45,168
And I think we're all gonna die!
1754
01:32:45,876 --> 01:32:47,668
[breathing heavily]
1755
01:32:49,334 --> 01:32:51,168
[softly] Look, I just wanna go home.
1756
01:32:51,834 --> 01:32:54,168
[sighs] I just wanna go home.
1757
01:32:54,251 --> 01:32:56,168
I just wanna go home more than anything.
1758
01:32:56,251 --> 01:32:58,626
[breathing heavily]
1759
01:33:00,918 --> 01:33:02,626
But if there is one thing,
1760
01:33:03,251 --> 01:33:05,334
one thing that I pray…
1761
01:33:05,418 --> 01:33:09,876
that I pray that all of you hear
from what I have just said,
1762
01:33:10,668 --> 01:33:13,626
is that all of us, all of us…
1763
01:33:16,001 --> 01:33:17,334
[car door opens]
1764
01:33:18,793 --> 01:33:19,793
[sighs]
1765
01:33:22,126 --> 01:33:23,668
Why'd you do that?
1766
01:33:24,793 --> 01:33:28,293
I really liked you
and I despise most people.
1767
01:33:29,834 --> 01:33:33,043
[Mindy] You know, I…
I really thought I loved you.
1768
01:33:35,834 --> 01:33:37,001
Really?
1769
01:33:37,918 --> 01:33:38,793
Wow.
1770
01:33:40,418 --> 01:33:41,876
[sighs] That's wild.
1771
01:33:43,043 --> 01:33:44,668
-Yeah.
-[car door opens]
1772
01:33:44,751 --> 01:33:47,459
[man] Ma'am, you need to go.
We gotta get this man off the grid.
1773
01:33:49,543 --> 01:33:50,751
[Mindy] You still there?
1774
01:33:53,793 --> 01:33:54,834
No.
1775
01:33:57,334 --> 01:34:01,084
[Kate] Well, maybe he just gets off
on the power, you know,
1776
01:34:01,168 --> 01:34:02,834
like any kind of power.
1777
01:34:02,918 --> 01:34:07,793
It's like he knew eventually that I was
gonna find out that the snacks were free.
1778
01:34:07,876 --> 01:34:09,334
-Right.
-You know what I mean?
1779
01:34:09,418 --> 01:34:11,876
-Yeah.
-So it was just like a power play.
1780
01:34:12,584 --> 01:34:13,668
Yeah, guys are weird.
1781
01:34:16,293 --> 01:34:20,043
I'm starting to think that all this
"end of the world" stuff is bullshit.
1782
01:34:21,668 --> 01:34:22,876
It's not.
1783
01:34:22,959 --> 01:34:26,876
It's definitely happening. I've seen it.
1784
01:34:27,459 --> 01:34:31,084
I feel like if God wanted to destroy
the Earth, He would destroy the Earth.
1785
01:34:33,376 --> 01:34:34,626
You believe in God?
1786
01:34:36,584 --> 01:34:39,209
Yeah, I mean,
my parents raised me Evangelical,
1787
01:34:39,293 --> 01:34:41,626
and I hate them,
but I found my own way to it.
1788
01:34:41,709 --> 01:34:42,959
My own relationship.
1789
01:34:44,376 --> 01:34:45,501
[Kate] Hmm.
1790
01:34:46,459 --> 01:34:48,751
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't advertise it, though.
1791
01:34:52,084 --> 01:34:55,209
I won't tell anybody. [chuckles]
I think it's kind of sweet.
1792
01:34:58,793 --> 01:35:01,376
-Wanna make out?
-Yeah, why not?
1793
01:35:02,501 --> 01:35:05,501
Can you not say "why not"?
It makes me feel like you don't want it.
1794
01:35:06,501 --> 01:35:07,501
It's shitty.
1795
01:35:09,584 --> 01:35:12,209
-Sure, whatever.
-That's better.
1796
01:35:13,959 --> 01:35:15,376
[pop song playing on radio]
1797
01:35:15,459 --> 01:35:16,459
[radio tuning]
1798
01:35:16,543 --> 01:35:17,501
[volume increases]
1799
01:35:17,584 --> 01:35:23,918
♪ I still feel 25
Most of the time ♪
1800
01:35:24,543 --> 01:35:29,293
♪ I still raise a little Cain
With the boys ♪
1801
01:35:31,709 --> 01:35:33,459
♪ Honky tonks and pretty… ♪
1802
01:35:42,751 --> 01:35:44,876
-Oh, my God, that's it.
-What? What?
1803
01:35:44,959 --> 01:35:47,209
-That's the comet.
-What? Where?
1804
01:35:47,751 --> 01:35:48,793
[gasps]
1805
01:35:48,876 --> 01:35:51,959
-[Yule] Where? Uh-huh.
-Well, that's the Big Dipper.
1806
01:35:52,043 --> 01:35:54,959
-That's Venus. That's the North Star.
-Uh-huh.
1807
01:35:55,543 --> 01:35:58,001
-Well, what is that?
-Oh, shit.
1808
01:35:58,084 --> 01:35:59,126
[Kate chuckles]
1809
01:35:59,209 --> 01:36:05,918
♪ Sometimes I feel like Jesse James
Still trying to make a name ♪
1810
01:36:06,501 --> 01:36:07,751
What the hell?
1811
01:36:07,834 --> 01:36:10,459
♪ Knowing nothing's gonna change
What I am ♪
1812
01:36:10,543 --> 01:36:11,543
What?
1813
01:36:13,793 --> 01:36:14,626
Come on.
1814
01:36:14,709 --> 01:36:16,834
[horns honking]
1815
01:36:22,251 --> 01:36:23,251
There it is.
1816
01:36:23,334 --> 01:36:24,501
[horns honking]
1817
01:36:26,001 --> 01:36:27,168
There you are.
1818
01:36:30,209 --> 01:36:31,209
There you are.
1819
01:36:32,126 --> 01:36:34,293
Is anyone else seeing this? That's it.
1820
01:36:35,084 --> 01:36:38,876
That's it. That's the comet.
Look! It's right there.
1821
01:36:38,959 --> 01:36:39,834
[man shouting]
1822
01:36:39,918 --> 01:36:42,918
[uneasy music playing]
1823
01:37:14,876 --> 01:37:16,293
-[gasps]
-[cell phone vibrating]
1824
01:37:16,376 --> 01:37:19,334
-That's, you know, kinda scary.
-Oh! Exactly.
1825
01:37:23,834 --> 01:37:25,668
-Dr. Mindy.
-[Mindy] Kate.
1826
01:37:25,751 --> 01:37:27,918
Doc, you can see it.
1827
01:37:28,001 --> 01:37:32,209
I… I'm looking at it right now too.
It's unbelievable. It's…
1828
01:37:32,709 --> 01:37:36,293
It's horrific and it's…
And it's beautiful at the same time.
1829
01:37:36,376 --> 01:37:38,084
-Oh, my God.
-[laughing]
1830
01:37:43,251 --> 01:37:45,168
We've been trying to tell you.
1831
01:37:45,793 --> 01:37:49,084
We tried to tell you this whole time.
It's right there. It's…
1832
01:37:49,918 --> 01:37:51,501
It's right there, Kate.
1833
01:37:51,584 --> 01:37:52,668
[horns honking]
1834
01:37:54,334 --> 01:37:55,418
[Kate] Where are you?
1835
01:37:55,501 --> 01:37:56,918
I'm in Lansing, Michigan
1836
01:37:57,001 --> 01:38:00,168
trying to fix things with June,
but she won't talk to me.
1837
01:38:00,251 --> 01:38:02,126
-Where are you?
-[Yule] What the fuck?
1838
01:38:03,084 --> 01:38:04,209
[Kate] I…
1839
01:38:04,293 --> 01:38:06,334
[Mindy] I'm gonna come find you, okay?
1840
01:38:07,418 --> 01:38:10,751
Well, I'm in Illinois.
I could be ready by tomorrow.
1841
01:38:12,126 --> 01:38:13,418
-Dearest Father…
-Yeah, I'm--
1842
01:38:13,501 --> 01:38:16,043
…as a sinner I come to You
for Your grace and guidance…
1843
01:38:16,126 --> 01:38:18,168
[Mindy] They're finally seeing it.
1844
01:38:18,751 --> 01:38:20,293
They're finally seeing it.
1845
01:38:20,376 --> 01:38:22,209
[uneasy music continues playing]
1846
01:38:26,126 --> 01:38:27,626
There it is!
1847
01:38:34,751 --> 01:38:35,959
[grunting]
1848
01:38:38,376 --> 01:38:39,626
[cooing]
1849
01:38:39,709 --> 01:38:41,584
[bell dinging]
1850
01:38:41,668 --> 01:38:45,251
Go outside into your yard,
onto a roof, onto your sidewalk,
1851
01:38:45,334 --> 01:38:46,751
and just look up into the sky.
1852
01:38:46,834 --> 01:38:50,168
The star's gonna appear fuzzy.
It's got a long streak coming off of it.
1853
01:38:50,251 --> 01:38:51,751
That's the comet's tail.
1854
01:38:51,834 --> 01:38:53,418
It's real and it's coming.
1855
01:38:53,501 --> 01:38:56,084
If anyone tells you any different,
they're full of shit.
1856
01:38:56,168 --> 01:38:57,668
Just look up into the sky.
1857
01:38:57,751 --> 01:38:59,209
It's a fucking fact.
1858
01:38:59,293 --> 01:39:00,751
-We have proof.
-Just look up.
1859
01:39:00,834 --> 01:39:04,459
Guys, please just look up, okay?
Screw the manatees and just look up.
1860
01:39:04,543 --> 01:39:05,501
[both] Just look up.
1861
01:39:05,584 --> 01:39:07,668
-[all] Just look up!
-Just look up! Just look up!
1862
01:39:07,751 --> 01:39:08,751
Just look up!
1863
01:39:08,834 --> 01:39:13,126
Dr. Mindy, the president's
plan to save Earth
1864
01:39:13,209 --> 01:39:18,168
and make it so we can all have a home
is going to work, right?
1865
01:39:18,251 --> 01:39:22,293
Every single man, woman and child
on this planet is going to die.
1866
01:39:22,376 --> 01:39:25,584
-I don't like him. He makes me sad.
-I'm sorry about that.
1867
01:39:25,668 --> 01:39:27,668
-This is not what we rehearsed.
-Kids, listen.
1868
01:39:27,751 --> 01:39:30,918
You tell your parents
that President Orlean and Isherwell
1869
01:39:31,001 --> 01:39:32,668
are sociopaths and fascists!
1870
01:39:32,751 --> 01:39:34,626
[cheers and applause]
1871
01:39:39,834 --> 01:39:42,751
And do you know why
they want you to look up?
1872
01:39:43,709 --> 01:39:45,459
Do you know why?
1873
01:39:45,543 --> 01:39:48,084
'Cause they want you to be afraid.
1874
01:39:48,168 --> 01:39:49,459
[audience cheering]
1875
01:39:49,543 --> 01:39:52,001
They want you to look up
1876
01:39:52,084 --> 01:39:54,751
because they are
looking down their noses at you.
1877
01:39:56,084 --> 01:39:57,959
They think they're better than you.
1878
01:39:58,043 --> 01:40:00,543
-[hip-hop tune plays]
-[chanting] Don't look up!
1879
01:40:00,626 --> 01:40:02,876
They wanna rob you of your freedom,
and that's a fact!
1880
01:40:02,959 --> 01:40:05,043
[chanting] Don't look up!
1881
01:40:05,126 --> 01:40:06,876
The US president, Orlean…
1882
01:40:06,959 --> 01:40:09,293
-[crowd clamoring]
-[man yelling] Just look up!
1883
01:40:09,376 --> 01:40:12,668
…has not included India
or any other nation in the world
1884
01:40:12,751 --> 01:40:14,084
to be a part of this mission.
1885
01:40:14,793 --> 01:40:17,418
This dude is a known pornographer
named Kip…
1886
01:40:17,501 --> 01:40:18,751
Don't listen to that dumbfuck.
1887
01:40:18,834 --> 01:40:24,834
The United Nations have been
considering its own deflective mission.
1888
01:40:24,918 --> 01:40:27,168
-[laughing]
-Just look up, for fuck's sake!
1889
01:40:27,251 --> 01:40:31,001
[woman] Now I know a lot of Hollywood
is supporting the Just Look Up movement,
1890
01:40:31,084 --> 01:40:32,918
but I haven't seen a pin like that.
1891
01:40:33,001 --> 01:40:37,751
Yeah, this pin points both up and down.
1892
01:40:38,334 --> 01:40:42,959
Because I think, as a country,
we need to stop arguing
1893
01:40:43,043 --> 01:40:45,543
and virtue signaling. Just get along.
1894
01:40:46,168 --> 01:40:48,543
-[woman] That is so refreshing.
-Hmm.
1895
01:40:48,626 --> 01:40:51,251
[woman] I think
we're all tired of the politics.
1896
01:40:51,334 --> 01:40:53,501
Yeah, yeah. Well…
1897
01:40:54,501 --> 01:40:56,126
That's why we made Total Devastation.
1898
01:40:56,209 --> 01:40:58,334
It's for everyone. You know?
It's a popcorn movie.
1899
01:40:58,418 --> 01:41:02,126
You keep your eye on the road ahead,
you put your head down.
1900
01:41:02,209 --> 01:41:04,626
And you put
one foot in front of the other,
1901
01:41:04,709 --> 01:41:05,751
step by step.
1902
01:41:05,834 --> 01:41:06,959
[people cheering]
1903
01:41:07,043 --> 01:41:08,126
[Orlean] Day by day.
1904
01:41:08,209 --> 01:41:11,418
-[people chanting] Don't look up!
-Don't!
1905
01:41:11,501 --> 01:41:13,501
[captivating music playing]
1906
01:41:17,501 --> 01:41:20,543
So we wanna say something loud and clear.
1907
01:41:20,626 --> 01:41:24,251
There is no safe way
to bring this comet back to Earth
1908
01:41:24,334 --> 01:41:27,043
and exploit it for profit.
It cannot be done!
1909
01:41:27,626 --> 01:41:31,501
Nations of the world,
defy Orlean and BASH!
1910
01:41:31,584 --> 01:41:36,126
Launch your own nuclear deflection mission
now and save this planet!
1911
01:41:36,209 --> 01:41:37,501
[breathing heavily]
1912
01:41:37,584 --> 01:41:43,418
And now, uh, there's Riley Bina
with her special guest.
1913
01:41:43,501 --> 01:41:45,751
-[people cheering]
-I forgot the name. Thank you.
1914
01:41:47,459 --> 01:41:50,709
{\an8}["Just Look Up" playing]
1915
01:41:50,793 --> 01:41:53,793
{\an8}[Riley vocalizing]
1916
01:42:02,168 --> 01:42:08,459
♪ We knew no bounds
Fell at the speed of sound ♪
1917
01:42:08,543 --> 01:42:14,459
♪ Riding against all odds but soon
Against ourselves ♪
1918
01:42:16,418 --> 01:42:20,376
♪ You haunted every memory ♪
1919
01:42:20,459 --> 01:42:24,168
♪ With no goodbyes out there for me ♪
1920
01:42:24,251 --> 01:42:30,251
♪ Your pride put out the fire
In our flame ♪
1921
01:42:31,293 --> 01:42:34,793
♪ Then just one look is all it takes ♪
1922
01:42:34,876 --> 01:42:40,501
♪ I feel your eyes
They're locked on every part of me ♪
1923
01:42:40,584 --> 01:42:45,334
♪ And then my dumb heart says ♪
1924
01:42:45,418 --> 01:42:49,501
♪ Just look up ♪
1925
01:42:49,584 --> 01:42:53,209
♪ There is no place to hide ♪
1926
01:42:53,293 --> 01:42:55,126
♪ True love doesn't die ♪
1927
01:42:55,209 --> 01:42:59,959
♪ It holds on tight
And never lets you go… ♪
1928
01:43:00,043 --> 01:43:03,709
Is that a rock-solid ten smokeshow
of a president or what?
1929
01:43:03,793 --> 01:43:04,709
[people cheering]
1930
01:43:04,793 --> 01:43:06,626
If she wasn't my mother…
1931
01:43:08,334 --> 01:43:10,084
There's three types of American people.
1932
01:43:11,043 --> 01:43:13,209
There are you, the working class.
1933
01:43:13,293 --> 01:43:17,126
Us, the cool rich, and then them.
1934
01:43:17,209 --> 01:43:19,543
[people booing]
1935
01:43:19,626 --> 01:43:21,668
I'm sorry, but we need them.
1936
01:43:22,209 --> 01:43:26,334
We need them because
you build us up to fight them.
1937
01:43:26,418 --> 01:43:28,584
The working class, the lower.
1938
01:43:28,668 --> 01:43:30,793
-You understand?
-No, I don't get it.
1939
01:43:30,876 --> 01:43:33,084
Do you understand? I'm talking about…
1940
01:43:33,168 --> 01:43:35,043
I'm talking about nutritionists.
1941
01:43:35,584 --> 01:43:37,709
I'm talking about personal trainers,
1942
01:43:38,543 --> 01:43:40,168
people at the spa,
1943
01:43:40,251 --> 01:43:43,168
but not the ones that check you in
and they're not the masseuses,
1944
01:43:43,251 --> 01:43:45,793
but they walk you down the corridor.
1945
01:43:45,876 --> 01:43:46,793
They're there…
1946
01:43:46,876 --> 01:43:49,376
♪ Know I let you down
A nigga can't deny it ♪
1947
01:43:50,584 --> 01:43:53,209
♪ And there's so much that we're losin'
Yes, that matters ♪
1948
01:43:53,293 --> 01:43:56,584
♪ I've been dealin' with madness
Wasn't the man you needed ♪
1949
01:43:57,293 --> 01:44:00,543
♪ You dealin' with sadness
Truthfully, it's all on me… ♪
1950
01:44:01,334 --> 01:44:04,126
-[Oglethorpe] Divest from BASH when?
-[people] Divest now!
1951
01:44:04,209 --> 01:44:05,876
Divest from BASH when?
1952
01:44:07,834 --> 01:44:08,918
♪ Time is oh so precious… ♪
1953
01:44:09,001 --> 01:44:10,584
We will not be quiet!
1954
01:44:11,626 --> 01:44:15,001
♪ Take my hand, baby
I'll never leave you, Riley ♪
1955
01:44:15,084 --> 01:44:19,418
♪ Though what he's really trying to say ♪
1956
01:44:19,501 --> 01:44:23,126
♪ Is get your head out of your ass ♪
1957
01:44:23,209 --> 01:44:29,959
♪ Listen to the goddamn
Qualified scientists ♪
1958
01:44:30,043 --> 01:44:33,459
♪ We really fucked it up
Fucked it up this time ♪
1959
01:44:33,543 --> 01:44:37,376
♪ It's so close
I can feel the heat big-time ♪
1960
01:44:37,459 --> 01:44:41,043
♪ And you can act
Like everything is all right ♪
1961
01:44:41,126 --> 01:44:44,834
♪ But this is probably
Happening in real time ♪
1962
01:44:44,918 --> 01:44:47,834
♪ Celebrate or cry or pray ♪
1963
01:44:47,918 --> 01:44:53,209
♪ Whatever it takes
To get you through the mess that we made ♪
1964
01:44:53,293 --> 01:44:58,251
♪ 'Cause tomorrow may never come ♪
1965
01:44:58,334 --> 01:45:02,668
♪ Just look up ♪
1966
01:45:02,751 --> 01:45:06,334
♪ Turn off the shitbox news ♪
1967
01:45:06,418 --> 01:45:09,376
♪ 'Cause you're about to die soon
Everybody ♪
1968
01:45:09,459 --> 01:45:13,251
[vocalizing]
1969
01:45:13,334 --> 01:45:15,043
♪ Look up… ♪
1970
01:45:15,126 --> 01:45:16,584
[cell phone ringing]
1971
01:45:18,543 --> 01:45:19,626
[Oglethorpe] Oh.
1972
01:45:20,584 --> 01:45:23,876
Hey, good afternoon, Adam.
What do I owe the pleasure of this call?
1973
01:45:30,084 --> 01:45:31,084
What time?
1974
01:45:33,876 --> 01:45:35,459
[explosion]
1975
01:45:38,834 --> 01:45:41,751
Well, uh… Well, thank you for calling.
1976
01:45:41,834 --> 01:45:42,751
Um…
1977
01:45:44,168 --> 01:45:45,168
Yeah.
1978
01:45:56,168 --> 01:45:58,626
[indistinct conversation]
1979
01:46:01,626 --> 01:46:02,584
What?
1980
01:46:06,001 --> 01:46:07,001
What?
1981
01:46:09,959 --> 01:46:14,751
Orlean and BASH
cut Russia, India, and China
1982
01:46:16,001 --> 01:46:17,418
out of the rights for the minerals.
1983
01:46:17,501 --> 01:46:20,959
So they tried their own
joint deflection mission,
1984
01:46:21,043 --> 01:46:25,751
but, uh… approximately 40 minutes ago,
1985
01:46:26,626 --> 01:46:33,043
there was a massive explosion detected
at the Russian's Baikonur launch complex.
1986
01:46:35,501 --> 01:46:37,709
So it looks like the mission failed.
1987
01:46:42,834 --> 01:46:44,043
That's it?
1988
01:46:45,959 --> 01:46:47,043
[hesitates]
1989
01:46:47,126 --> 01:46:48,709
What do you mean, "that's it?"
1990
01:46:52,126 --> 01:46:53,168
Teddy?
1991
01:46:56,501 --> 01:46:57,376
Right?
1992
01:47:03,209 --> 01:47:07,043
There is still the BASH mission.
It's all we have now.
1993
01:47:14,126 --> 01:47:15,126
[Mindy] Fuck!
1994
01:47:15,209 --> 01:47:17,376
["Just Like Paradise" playing on speakers]
1995
01:47:21,876 --> 01:47:23,293
[people cheering]
1996
01:47:27,334 --> 01:47:30,126
These Just Look Uppers
1997
01:47:30,209 --> 01:47:35,876
want millions of illegal Chileans
to come across the border.
1998
01:47:35,959 --> 01:47:36,834
[people chanting]
1999
01:47:36,918 --> 01:47:40,334
[all chanting] Don't look up.
2000
01:47:44,584 --> 01:47:46,334
The hell is that?
2001
01:47:47,626 --> 01:47:49,043
[people continue chanting]
2002
01:47:52,459 --> 01:47:54,626
Fucking lied to us.
2003
01:47:56,168 --> 01:47:59,084
-The president just texted me.
-[glass shattering]
2004
01:47:59,168 --> 01:48:02,626
-"Don't trip. It's all good. Don't trip."
-[people shouting and booing]
2005
01:48:05,043 --> 01:48:06,043
Hey, now.
2006
01:48:06,626 --> 01:48:09,293
You cut my face, you fucking rednecks!
2007
01:48:14,626 --> 01:48:16,918
[wind blowing]
2008
01:48:22,084 --> 01:48:24,418
[Yule] Man, there hasn't been
a car in, like, an hour.
2009
01:48:25,918 --> 01:48:28,584
[Mindy] Yep.
Everyone's watching the BASH launch.
2010
01:48:31,084 --> 01:48:32,376
What are we doing again?
2011
01:48:35,043 --> 01:48:39,459
I told you. We're, uh…
We're gonna go buy some groceries.
2012
01:48:43,084 --> 01:48:44,959
[song playing on radio]
2013
01:48:45,626 --> 01:48:46,876
[volume increases]
2014
01:48:48,084 --> 01:48:53,293
The Mills Brothers. Great band.
You know, Duke Ellington found this band.
2015
01:48:56,001 --> 01:49:00,043
I think they were originally called
the Four Kings of Harmony.
2016
01:49:01,584 --> 01:49:05,709
♪ We'll call on each memory
Till then… ♪
2017
01:49:05,793 --> 01:49:08,251
"Till Then," this is the song.
It's about, uh…
2018
01:49:09,251 --> 01:49:11,501
It's about soldiers
going off to World War II
2019
01:49:11,584 --> 01:49:13,418
and thinking about home.
2020
01:49:16,668 --> 01:49:17,751
Listen to this part.
2021
01:49:17,834 --> 01:49:21,001
♪ Although there are oceans… ♪
2022
01:49:21,084 --> 01:49:27,084
"Although there are oceans we must cross
and mountains that we must climb…"
2023
01:49:28,584 --> 01:49:31,584
♪ I know every gain… ♪
2024
01:49:31,668 --> 01:49:34,751
"I know that every gain must have a loss."
2025
01:49:34,834 --> 01:49:36,668
♪ So pray that our loss… ♪
2026
01:49:36,751 --> 01:49:40,751
"So pray that our loss
is nothing but time."
2027
01:49:40,834 --> 01:49:46,501
♪ Till then, let's dream
Of what there will be ♪
2028
01:49:46,584 --> 01:49:49,126
-[Yule] Okay, I gotta ask you something.
-What?
2029
01:49:51,709 --> 01:49:53,709
Dr. Mindy, can I be vulnerable
in your car?
2030
01:49:53,793 --> 01:49:55,168
[Mindy] Yeah, go ahead.
2031
01:49:57,126 --> 01:49:58,918
I've never met anyone like you
2032
01:49:59,001 --> 01:50:01,209
and I feel a connection to you
on a level that…
2033
01:50:04,376 --> 01:50:06,293
I don't know,
I haven't felt with anyone else,
2034
01:50:06,376 --> 01:50:08,418
and going out on a limb,
2035
01:50:08,501 --> 01:50:10,501
but would you want to spend
more time together?
2036
01:50:10,584 --> 01:50:15,001
-[song stops playing]
-Maybe even get engaged or something?
2037
01:50:15,084 --> 01:50:16,126
[chuckles]
2038
01:50:16,209 --> 01:50:18,043
-Wow.
-[Yule] Are you laughing?
2039
01:50:18,918 --> 01:50:20,168
-No?
-[Kate] I'm smiling.
2040
01:50:21,584 --> 01:50:23,584
-Well, sure.
-[Mindy] This is sweet.
2041
01:50:23,668 --> 01:50:26,918
-Why not?
-This is pretty sweet.
2042
01:50:29,668 --> 01:50:33,376
[rumbling]
2043
01:50:37,334 --> 01:50:41,834
[Orlean hesitates] And you read
the tea leaves for Dr. Mindy.
2044
01:50:41,918 --> 01:50:43,918
-You showed him the algorithm.
-[Peter] Oh, yeah.
2045
01:50:44,001 --> 01:50:46,084
[Orlean] You really shook him
with that information.
2046
01:50:46,168 --> 01:50:48,959
-How he was gonna die.
-[Peter] Yeah, it is shaking.
2047
01:50:49,668 --> 01:50:51,959
It got me so excited
to know about my own death.
2048
01:50:52,043 --> 01:50:53,834
[both laughing]
2049
01:50:54,626 --> 01:50:57,251
I don't think I wanna know.
Yes, I do. I wanna to know.
2050
01:50:57,334 --> 01:51:01,584
You're gonna be eaten by a Bronteroc.
We don't know what it means.
2051
01:51:01,668 --> 01:51:03,626
-A what?
-A Bronteroc.
2052
01:51:05,251 --> 01:51:07,751
-Oh.
-Okay, people, we have clear skies.
2053
01:51:07,834 --> 01:51:09,501
[pensive music playing]
2054
01:51:09,584 --> 01:51:12,793
And we are a go for the BEAD launch.
2055
01:51:12,876 --> 01:51:14,001
Madam President?
2056
01:51:14,084 --> 01:51:18,626
Citizens of planet Earth. Now…
2057
01:51:19,584 --> 01:51:23,293
Look at this, Kate. They have wild salmon.
2058
01:51:23,376 --> 01:51:26,459
Look at the difference between that
and the farm-raised stuff.
2059
01:51:26,543 --> 01:51:29,751
You see how that looks just…
I don't know. Looks fake, right?
2060
01:51:30,876 --> 01:51:33,418
Hey, why don't you go find some, uh…
2061
01:51:33,501 --> 01:51:36,001
What are the little potatoes called,
the tiny ones?
2062
01:51:36,084 --> 01:51:37,209
-Fingerling potatoes?
-Yeah.
2063
01:51:37,293 --> 01:51:39,793
-I fucking love fingerling potatoes.
-Let's get finger…
2064
01:51:39,876 --> 01:51:41,376
Do you wanna say something too?
2065
01:51:41,459 --> 01:51:42,751
That was beautiful. Yeah.
2066
01:51:43,709 --> 01:51:47,834
What up, world? Jason Orlean,
uh, Chief of Staff, United States.
2067
01:51:47,918 --> 01:51:48,876
Um…
2068
01:51:49,918 --> 01:51:53,501
I've been noticing a lot of prayers
recently for people during this time
2069
01:51:54,334 --> 01:51:55,793
and I commend that, um,
2070
01:51:55,876 --> 01:52:02,168
but I also wanna give a prayer for stuff.
2071
01:52:03,668 --> 01:52:08,959
There's dope stuff, like material stuff,
like sick apartments and watches,
2072
01:52:09,043 --> 01:52:11,793
and cars, um, and clothes and shit
2073
01:52:11,876 --> 01:52:16,459
that could all go away
and I don't wanna see that stuff go away.
2074
01:52:16,543 --> 01:52:18,876
So I'm gonna say a prayer
for that stuff. Amen.
2075
01:52:22,001 --> 01:52:25,084
[man on TV] Just a quiet trepidation
among this much smaller crowd.
2076
01:52:25,168 --> 01:52:27,043
I can hear the sounds
of some people praying.
2077
01:52:27,126 --> 01:52:29,209
[Peter] Okay, Anderson, let's go get it.
2078
01:52:29,293 --> 01:52:32,543
Yes, sir. Here we go, people.
2079
01:52:33,334 --> 01:52:34,168
Ten.
2080
01:52:34,251 --> 01:52:41,168
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
2081
01:52:41,876 --> 01:52:43,918
five, four…
2082
01:52:46,834 --> 01:52:48,834
[uneasy music playing]
2083
01:52:55,543 --> 01:52:56,668
[doorbell rings]
2084
01:53:02,709 --> 01:53:03,543
Hey.
2085
01:53:05,001 --> 01:53:05,834
Hi.
2086
01:53:05,918 --> 01:53:07,751
[flames roaring]
2087
01:53:09,209 --> 01:53:11,584
[dramatic music playing]
2088
01:53:16,626 --> 01:53:19,584
We, uh, got some groceries.
2089
01:53:21,001 --> 01:53:23,584
[dramatic music playing]
2090
01:53:28,959 --> 01:53:30,334
Yo, what was that?
2091
01:53:30,418 --> 01:53:32,334
-We lost BEAD number 12.
-[alarm blaring]
2092
01:53:35,251 --> 01:53:36,876
[man] BEAD number 22 failed to launch.
2093
01:53:37,751 --> 01:53:40,584
It's fine. It's fine.
2094
01:53:40,668 --> 01:53:44,709
We had anticipated a margin for error.
2095
01:53:44,793 --> 01:53:46,293
Everything is fine.
2096
01:53:46,376 --> 01:53:50,876
I was hoping
we could, um, have a family dinner.
2097
01:53:50,959 --> 01:53:52,334
[Evan and Marshall] Hey, Dad.
2098
01:53:52,418 --> 01:53:54,501
-Hey, guys. Hey.
-Hey.
2099
01:54:00,876 --> 01:54:01,793
What do you say?
2100
01:54:04,209 --> 01:54:05,043
Yeah.
2101
01:54:05,959 --> 01:54:07,334
-[Mindy] Thank you.
-Yeah.
2102
01:54:07,834 --> 01:54:10,043
-This is, uh… This is Kate.
-Oh, hi.
2103
01:54:10,126 --> 01:54:11,959
-Hello. Hi, Kate.
-Let me grab those bags.
2104
01:54:12,043 --> 01:54:13,793
-Nice to meet you. I'm Yule.
-Yule.
2105
01:54:13,876 --> 01:54:16,043
I'm FirePuma142 on Twitch. You game?
2106
01:54:16,668 --> 01:54:18,168
It's really doubtful she knows.
2107
01:54:18,251 --> 01:54:19,876
-You're right.
-Who said I game?
2108
01:54:21,043 --> 01:54:23,376
I… I got these for you.
2109
01:54:25,251 --> 01:54:27,209
Thank you. That's really sweet, honey.
2110
01:54:33,418 --> 01:54:35,418
I'm so sorry. You have no idea.
2111
01:54:37,251 --> 01:54:39,959
-I really am.
-[sighs] I know. I know.
2112
01:54:40,793 --> 01:54:43,918
-I've missed you.
-I missed you so much.
2113
01:54:50,918 --> 01:54:53,668
When we dated in college,
I fucked Aaron Tran.
2114
01:54:55,918 --> 01:54:56,751
Oh?
2115
01:54:57,376 --> 01:54:58,751
Yeah, so, uh…
2116
01:55:02,501 --> 01:55:04,084
[Motown song playing on speakers]
2117
01:55:04,168 --> 01:55:05,668
[indistinct chatter]
2118
01:55:14,584 --> 01:55:16,876
-That is really good.
-Really good, right?
2119
01:55:27,751 --> 01:55:30,043
-Hey, everybody.
-Hey!
2120
01:55:30,126 --> 01:55:32,834
-Sorry I'm late, but not empty-handed.
-Hey, my friend.
2121
01:55:33,918 --> 01:55:37,418
Evan, Marshall, June,
this is Dr. Oglethorpe.
2122
01:55:37,501 --> 01:55:39,168
[indistinct chatter]
2123
01:55:39,251 --> 01:55:41,251
[dramatic music playing]
2124
01:55:52,043 --> 01:55:54,918
BEADs have approached
optimal escape velocity
2125
01:55:55,001 --> 01:55:59,668
and now approaching Comet Dibiasky
and are ready for attachment mode.
2126
01:56:12,793 --> 01:56:14,084
-[crash on video]
-[gasps]
2127
01:56:15,043 --> 01:56:17,668
-[alarm blaring]
-Uh… Okay. All right.
2128
01:56:17,751 --> 01:56:20,876
Eight and 27 are lost
due to lateral control malfunction.
2129
01:56:21,793 --> 01:56:24,709
Okay, so, now… Now, Peter…
2130
01:56:24,793 --> 01:56:29,001
Peter, we're six drones down.
Is this thing still gonna work?
2131
01:56:29,084 --> 01:56:34,918
Well, the engineer's assured me
that yes, 24 drones is enough.
2132
01:56:36,001 --> 01:56:39,001
Well, how many can we lose?
2133
01:56:41,626 --> 01:56:43,126
[hesitates] How many more?
2134
01:56:43,209 --> 01:56:44,834
[alarm blaring]
2135
01:56:46,668 --> 01:56:50,293
{\an8}We're being told that several
of the BEADS have exploded on launch.
2136
01:56:51,334 --> 01:56:54,168
-Got the head seat right there.
-[Oglethorpe chuckles]
2137
01:56:54,251 --> 01:56:56,834
You're way too kind, Randall. Thank you.
2138
01:56:56,918 --> 01:56:57,918
[Mindy] Big Doctor.
2139
01:56:58,001 --> 01:56:59,209
Do you want more wine?
2140
01:57:00,334 --> 01:57:02,334
-Hey, cheers, everyone. Huh?
-[Oglethorpe] Cheers.
2141
01:57:02,418 --> 01:57:03,459
-Cheers.
-[Mindy] Love you.
2142
01:57:03,543 --> 01:57:05,293
-Love you.
-Thank you so much for having us.
2143
01:57:05,376 --> 01:57:06,626
Thank you for being here.
2144
01:57:06,709 --> 01:57:08,251
-It's so special.
-Thank you.
2145
01:57:08,334 --> 01:57:10,334
[dramatic music playing]
2146
01:57:21,001 --> 01:57:24,209
Commence simultaneous
explosive separation stage now.
2147
01:57:26,168 --> 01:57:27,501
-[gasps]
-[alarm blaring]
2148
01:57:27,584 --> 01:57:29,751
[Jason] Yo. Yo. Mom.
2149
01:57:29,834 --> 01:57:33,043
[dramatic music playing]
2150
01:57:39,751 --> 01:57:40,793
[Oglethorpe] Beautiful.
2151
01:57:41,376 --> 01:57:43,293
-[Mindy] Thank you, pal.
-Yeah.
2152
01:57:43,376 --> 01:57:48,126
Yeah, it really is.
And it's really good to have you home.
2153
01:57:49,793 --> 01:57:51,543
[Kate] Dr. Mindy got really famous.
2154
01:57:51,626 --> 01:57:54,168
Oh. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
2155
01:57:54,251 --> 01:57:55,834
-That's right. Okay.
-[laughter]
2156
01:57:56,751 --> 01:58:00,668
Yep, I was on, uh, magazine covers
and everything. I know.
2157
01:58:01,334 --> 01:58:03,418
-[Kate] You looked great.
-I'll take your shots.
2158
01:58:03,501 --> 01:58:04,584
[laughter]
2159
01:58:06,959 --> 01:58:07,793
[kisses]
2160
01:58:07,876 --> 01:58:09,501
-[Mrs. Mindy] I love you.
-Love you too.
2161
01:58:10,918 --> 01:58:13,543
-[intense music playing]
-All right. We need a report.
2162
01:58:13,626 --> 01:58:16,209
Need a full status report
on the explosive devices.
2163
01:58:16,293 --> 01:58:19,459
Get on it.
Still waiting for a full status report.
2164
01:58:19,543 --> 01:58:21,376
-[cell phone ringing]
-[gasps]
2165
01:58:21,459 --> 01:58:22,501
[Anderson] All right.
2166
01:58:22,584 --> 01:58:27,668
[breathing heavily] President Qi of China
says that the comet is still whole.
2167
01:58:27,751 --> 01:58:29,834
We got four misfires and sync was off.
2168
01:58:30,668 --> 01:58:31,668
It's still intact.
2169
01:58:31,751 --> 01:58:32,918
[Peter] What was that?
2170
01:58:33,584 --> 01:58:36,001
We've got four misfires
and the sync was off.
2171
01:58:36,834 --> 01:58:41,001
Okay. We're all fine. Everyone's fine.
2172
01:58:41,751 --> 01:58:44,834
It's gonna be all right.
If you'll excuse me. [chuckles]
2173
01:58:44,918 --> 01:58:46,168
Nature calls.
2174
01:58:46,251 --> 01:58:49,251
I'm just gonna go to the restroom
for a moment.
2175
01:58:52,709 --> 01:58:55,584
Yes, uh, I think
that I should also step out
2176
01:58:55,668 --> 01:58:57,376
to the restroom for a moment.
2177
01:58:58,584 --> 01:59:01,084
-[alarm continues blaring]
-[indistinct chatter]
2178
01:59:03,626 --> 01:59:05,626
-[Jason] Should I…
-No, I'll be fine.
2179
01:59:06,668 --> 01:59:08,168
Sir, the president.
2180
01:59:08,918 --> 01:59:11,043
We need to know
what the mission status is.
2181
01:59:13,209 --> 01:59:14,793
She's coming right back.
2182
01:59:15,459 --> 01:59:18,084
Screw this. I'm going to see my husband.
2183
01:59:19,584 --> 01:59:21,293
[people clamoring]
2184
01:59:21,376 --> 01:59:24,668
I'm sorry. I've got a 20-year-old
daughter. I've got to go see her.
2185
01:59:25,334 --> 01:59:26,668
[man] I'm doin' an 8-ball.
2186
01:59:27,834 --> 01:59:28,876
[woman] Oh, shit!
2187
01:59:28,959 --> 01:59:30,668
She's coming. She's coming back.
2188
01:59:30,751 --> 01:59:32,251
[people clamoring in panic]
2189
01:59:37,084 --> 01:59:39,293
[Orlean] Hello, there's a ship.
2190
01:59:39,834 --> 01:59:43,959
In case we were wrong,
and clearly, we were wrong.
2191
01:59:44,043 --> 01:59:46,501
Of course you've got a ship.
2192
01:59:46,584 --> 01:59:48,168
[Orlean] It holds 2,000.
2193
01:59:48,251 --> 01:59:51,501
It's state-of-the-art cryo-chambers,
and it's set to find
2194
01:59:51,584 --> 01:59:54,709
the nearest Earth-like planet
in a Goldilocks Zone so…
2195
01:59:54,793 --> 01:59:55,668
Hmm.
2196
01:59:55,751 --> 01:59:57,168
There's room for you and one other.
2197
01:59:58,209 --> 02:00:00,293
Brie, your wife, your call.
2198
02:00:02,751 --> 02:00:09,543
I'm good, but thank you for the offer.
You, uh… You have fun with Jason.
2199
02:00:11,584 --> 02:00:12,543
Jason?
2200
02:00:15,293 --> 02:00:16,418
Oh, shit.
2201
02:00:17,043 --> 02:00:18,626
[alarm blaring]
2202
02:00:20,126 --> 02:00:21,126
She's coming back.
2203
02:00:22,168 --> 02:00:24,168
[uneasy music playing]
2204
02:00:30,168 --> 02:00:33,084
I'm thankful for that night
I fell asleep out in the backyard.
2205
02:00:33,834 --> 02:00:36,209
-Woke up face-to-face with a baby deer.
-I remember that.
2206
02:00:36,293 --> 02:00:38,751
-Yeah.
-Yep. It was the best day of my life.
2207
02:00:40,834 --> 02:00:41,751
[kisses]
2208
02:00:50,209 --> 02:00:51,418
I'm grateful…
2209
02:00:58,793 --> 02:01:00,709
[shakily] I'm grateful we tried.
2210
02:01:03,584 --> 02:01:06,043
Man, oh, man, did we try.
2211
02:01:08,501 --> 02:01:13,834
Well, we're not the most religious here
in the Mindy household,
2212
02:01:13,918 --> 02:01:17,543
but, um, maybe we should say "amen"?
Should we do that?
2213
02:01:17,626 --> 02:01:19,084
[Mrs. Mindy] Don't look at me.
2214
02:01:19,918 --> 02:01:23,876
[chuckling] I don't know how to…
What, you just say, "Amen"? I don't…
2215
02:01:24,584 --> 02:01:25,793
-I got this.
-Wrap it up?
2216
02:01:26,459 --> 02:01:27,293
I got it.
2217
02:01:38,793 --> 02:01:41,043
Dearest Father and Almighty Creator…
2218
02:01:42,709 --> 02:01:43,751
[sighs]
2219
02:01:44,918 --> 02:01:48,751
…we ask for Your grace tonight,
despite our pride.
2220
02:01:50,459 --> 02:01:54,334
Your forgiveness, despite our doubt.
2221
02:01:57,668 --> 02:01:59,168
Most of all, Lord…
2222
02:02:01,168 --> 02:02:05,834
we ask for Your love
to soothe us through these dark times.
2223
02:02:08,334 --> 02:02:10,543
May we face whatever is to come…
2224
02:02:10,626 --> 02:02:12,751
[music continues playing]
2225
02:02:12,834 --> 02:02:18,626
…in Your divine will with courage
and open hearts of acceptance.
2226
02:02:21,876 --> 02:02:24,334
-Amen.
-[Oglethorpe] Amen.
2227
02:02:25,584 --> 02:02:27,751
Wow. Youse got some church game.
2228
02:02:29,668 --> 02:02:30,793
That was beautiful.
2229
02:02:34,209 --> 02:02:36,168
{\an8}The comet remains intact.
2230
02:02:36,251 --> 02:02:39,209
{\an8}[people clamoring in panic]
2231
02:02:42,918 --> 02:02:44,584
We just never… [sighs]
2232
02:02:46,793 --> 02:02:50,251
Of course, there's only one story
everyone's talking about tonight.
2233
02:02:50,834 --> 02:02:52,834
Topless urgent care centers.
2234
02:02:53,501 --> 02:02:56,876
[people clamoring]
2235
02:02:58,876 --> 02:02:59,959
[gunfire]
2236
02:03:03,043 --> 02:03:04,501
[sighs] Sit.
2237
02:03:06,501 --> 02:03:10,834
Or… we can fuck…
2238
02:03:10,918 --> 02:03:12,793
[breathing heavily]
2239
02:03:12,876 --> 02:03:14,709
…or pray, or…
2240
02:03:18,834 --> 02:03:22,334
Honestly, I think
I'd just rather drink and…
2241
02:03:24,293 --> 02:03:25,959
talk shit about people.
2242
02:03:27,251 --> 02:03:29,751
[rapid gunfire]
2243
02:03:32,251 --> 02:03:33,876
You'll never take me alive!
2244
02:03:37,084 --> 02:03:38,001
Look out!
2245
02:03:38,584 --> 02:03:39,793
[dog barking]
2246
02:03:47,543 --> 02:03:49,084
[indistinct chatter on TV]
2247
02:03:53,251 --> 02:03:54,918
-[grunting]
-[woman screaming]
2248
02:04:02,126 --> 02:04:03,959
[people screaming]
2249
02:04:09,709 --> 02:04:10,834
[birds chirping]
2250
02:04:25,876 --> 02:04:27,459
[shouting]
2251
02:04:29,001 --> 02:04:30,043
[indistinct chatter]
2252
02:04:30,126 --> 02:04:32,959
I'm definitely gonna have
some more of this apple pie. It's so good.
2253
02:04:33,043 --> 02:04:35,834
It's actually store-bought,
but you really can't tell.
2254
02:04:37,709 --> 02:04:42,251
If I'm to be completely honest,
which at this moment, why not?
2255
02:04:43,251 --> 02:04:46,959
I actually like the junky taste
of store-bought better than homemade.
2256
02:04:47,709 --> 02:04:48,709
You gotta be kidding me.
2257
02:04:48,793 --> 02:04:52,209
No, I'm not kidding.
2258
02:04:53,501 --> 02:04:56,709
You know what? I know what he means.
It's like a childhood memory thing.
2259
02:04:59,751 --> 02:05:02,584
[piano music playing]
2260
02:05:02,668 --> 02:05:04,584
[people clamoring]
2261
02:05:06,668 --> 02:05:08,501
[explosions]
2262
02:05:16,251 --> 02:05:19,251
[music continues playing]
2263
02:05:30,168 --> 02:05:31,626
[electricity crackling]
2264
02:05:31,709 --> 02:05:33,626
Nothing is better than homemade, right?
2265
02:05:33,709 --> 02:05:37,251
This coffee doesn't taste
store-bought. Is it?
2266
02:05:37,334 --> 02:05:39,709
I grind my own beans. Yeah.
2267
02:05:39,793 --> 02:05:41,418
Yeah, Dad's kind of a coffee nut.
2268
02:05:41,501 --> 02:05:43,751
Every time you have coffee,
you have to grind your beans?
2269
02:05:44,751 --> 02:05:48,709
Randall is very particular
about his coffee.
2270
02:05:48,793 --> 02:05:50,418
[Kate] I can get that way about tea.
2271
02:05:50,501 --> 02:05:51,543
[utensils clattering]
2272
02:05:53,251 --> 02:05:55,584
Thing of it is, we really…
2273
02:05:57,668 --> 02:05:59,876
We really did have everything, didn't we?
2274
02:06:02,126 --> 02:06:04,543
I mean, when you think about it.
2275
02:06:04,626 --> 02:06:06,626
[floor rumbling]
2276
02:06:20,376 --> 02:06:23,376
[music continues playing]
2277
02:06:31,459 --> 02:06:33,251
[explosion]
2278
02:06:33,334 --> 02:06:34,918
[silence]
2279
02:06:37,251 --> 02:06:40,251
["Second Nature" playing]
2280
02:06:41,501 --> 02:06:43,709
♪ Is this our first? ♪
2281
02:06:45,334 --> 02:06:47,293
♪ Or second nature? ♪
2282
02:06:49,584 --> 02:06:52,626
♪ When's that Rapture? ♪
2283
02:06:52,709 --> 02:06:55,084
♪ Will there be merch? ♪
2284
02:06:57,043 --> 02:07:00,876
♪ Where is Mother?
She was a stunner ♪
2285
02:07:00,959 --> 02:07:02,584
♪ Can we page her? ♪
2286
02:07:04,793 --> 02:07:10,168
♪ What mine eyes have seen
Could really take the purse ♪
2287
02:07:12,334 --> 02:07:14,459
♪ Are we chumps now? ♪
2288
02:07:15,668 --> 02:07:17,793
♪ Or are we fakers? ♪
2289
02:07:20,501 --> 02:07:24,584
♪ Parade around or get in work? ♪
2290
02:07:26,334 --> 02:07:28,376
♪ Or just deserve? ♪
2291
02:07:30,001 --> 02:07:32,793
{\an8}♪ We will see you next time ♪
2292
02:07:34,001 --> 02:07:36,501
{\an8}♪ There'll be water in the rain ♪
2293
02:07:37,584 --> 02:07:40,709
{\an8}♪ Territories pay fines ♪
2294
02:07:41,501 --> 02:07:43,668
{\an8}♪ All long day ♪
2295
02:07:45,126 --> 02:07:47,126
{\an8}♪ All may not be just fine ♪
2296
02:07:49,543 --> 02:07:52,793
{\an8}♪ There is another fate, a way ♪
2297
02:07:52,876 --> 02:07:55,293
{\an8}♪ To not be too late ♪
2298
02:07:55,918 --> 02:07:58,168
{\an8}♪ All obfuscate ♪
2299
02:08:51,084 --> 02:08:52,918
["Second Nature" continues playing]
2300
02:09:36,793 --> 02:09:39,959
[Peter] Hey, oxygen is
actually higher than on Earth
2301
02:09:40,043 --> 02:09:41,209
by nine percent,
2302
02:09:41,293 --> 02:09:43,876
so you might feel a bit light-headed.
2303
02:09:44,709 --> 02:09:48,251
And cryo-chambers were 58% successful,
2304
02:09:48,334 --> 02:09:50,626
which is much better than anticipated.
2305
02:09:50,709 --> 02:09:53,834
Yeah, we only had 47 dead
in our section, so…
2306
02:09:54,626 --> 02:09:59,043
I think this is gonna work out quite well.
Quite well, indeed.
2307
02:09:59,126 --> 02:09:59,959
Goodness.
2308
02:10:00,043 --> 02:10:05,668
-[gasps] Look at that beautiful animal.
-[squawking]
2309
02:10:05,751 --> 02:10:09,751
I wonder, are those feathers
or are they scale--
2310
02:10:09,834 --> 02:10:11,876
-[screams]
-[people gasping]
2311
02:10:12,751 --> 02:10:15,001
-That's disgusting.
-What is that thing?
2312
02:10:15,709 --> 02:10:18,168
I believe that's called a Bronteroc.
2313
02:10:18,251 --> 02:10:19,543
[flesh tearing]
2314
02:10:19,626 --> 02:10:20,876
[Bronteroc squawking]
2315
02:10:20,959 --> 02:10:24,168
Uh… Whatever you do, don't pet them.
2316
02:10:24,918 --> 02:10:27,168
♪ {\an8}We will see you next time ♪
2317
02:10:29,043 --> 02:10:31,668
{\an8}♪ There'll be water in the rain ♪
2318
02:10:32,501 --> 02:10:35,209
{\an8}♪ Territories pay fines ♪
2319
02:10:36,001 --> 02:10:38,918
{\an8}♪ All long day ♪
2320
02:10:40,001 --> 02:10:41,918
{\an8}♪ All may not be just fine ♪
2321
02:10:44,459 --> 02:10:47,918
{\an8}♪ There is another fate, a way ♪
2322
02:10:48,001 --> 02:10:50,251
{\an8}♪ To not be too late ♪
2323
02:10:51,334 --> 02:10:54,084
{\an8}♪ We will see you next time ♪
2324
02:10:55,418 --> 02:10:58,084
{\an8}♪ There'll be water in the rain ♪
2325
02:10:58,834 --> 02:11:01,209
{\an8}♪ Territories pay fines ♪
2326
02:11:02,709 --> 02:11:04,709
{\an8}♪ All long day ♪
2327
02:11:05,543 --> 02:11:08,626
{\an8}-♪ Say it with me ♪
-♪ All may not be just fine ♪
2328
02:11:08,709 --> 02:11:10,959
{\an8}♪ All long day ♪
2329
02:11:11,043 --> 02:11:14,209
{\an8}♪ There is another fate, a way ♪
2330
02:11:14,293 --> 02:11:16,584
{\an8}♪ To not be too late ♪
2331
02:11:17,251 --> 02:11:19,751
{\an8}♪ All obfuscate ♪
2332
02:11:50,043 --> 02:11:52,376
[somber instrumental music plays]
2333
02:14:33,001 --> 02:14:35,543
[upbeat jazz music playing]
2334
02:17:18,126 --> 02:17:19,459
[fire crackling]
2335
02:17:28,209 --> 02:17:29,209
[Jason] Fuck.
2336
02:17:43,543 --> 02:17:44,501
Mom?
2337
02:17:47,501 --> 02:17:48,584
Mom!
2338
02:17:54,168 --> 02:17:55,376
What's up, y'all?
2339
02:17:56,043 --> 02:17:57,501
I'm the last man on Earth.
2340
02:17:58,793 --> 02:18:00,168
Shit's all fucked up.
2341
02:18:00,918 --> 02:18:02,709
Don't forget to like and subscribe.
2342
02:18:03,501 --> 02:18:04,418
We out here.
2343
02:18:07,293 --> 02:18:08,251
Mom!