1 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:21,418 [kettle whistling] 2 00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,959 [whistling dies down] 3 00:00:39,918 --> 00:00:42,418 [woman whispering] Ugh… God damn it. 4 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,793 {\an8}[heavy machinery whirring] 5 00:00:58,084 --> 00:01:00,043 [monitor beeping] 6 00:01:05,751 --> 00:01:08,418 ["Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing ta F' Wit" playing on headphones] 7 00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:14,834 [woman] ♪ Inside the room Dr. Doom, prepare for the boom, bam! ♪ 8 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,709 ♪ I slam ♪ 9 00:01:17,793 --> 00:01:19,793 [heavy machinery whirring] 10 00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:22,834 ♪ Scream like Tarzan ♪ 11 00:01:22,918 --> 00:01:25,501 ♪ I be tossin' and flossin' My style is awesome ♪ 12 00:01:25,584 --> 00:01:28,376 ♪ I'm causing more family feuds Than Richard Dawson ♪ 13 00:01:28,459 --> 00:01:30,334 ♪ And the survey said, you're dead ♪ 14 00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:33,126 ♪ Fatal Flying Guillotine Chops off your fucking head ♪ 15 00:01:33,209 --> 00:01:35,293 ♪ Mister, who is that? Ayo, the Wu is back ♪ 16 00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:37,876 ♪ Making-- go Bo! Bo! Like I'm Super Cat ♪ 17 00:01:38,918 --> 00:01:41,209 ♪ Oh, no, here come The Wu-Tang shogun ♪ 18 00:01:41,293 --> 00:01:43,418 ♪ Killer to my eardrum Put the needle to the groove ♪ 19 00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:45,709 ♪ I gets rude and I'm forced To fuck it up, my style-- ♪ 20 00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:47,793 [heavy machinery whirring] 21 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,543 [pensive music playing] 22 00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:04,834 ♪ More Afro than Rollo Coming to a fork in the road ♪ 23 00:02:04,918 --> 00:02:06,293 ♪ Which way to go, just follow… ♪ 24 00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:16,626 [pensive music continues playing] 25 00:02:34,293 --> 00:02:35,959 [speaking indistinctly] 26 00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:43,793 [shrieks] 27 00:02:44,459 --> 00:02:46,293 [music increases in tempo] 28 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,668 ["Right Thurr" playing on speakers] 29 00:03:05,751 --> 00:03:08,584 This is nuts! This is so crazy! 30 00:03:08,668 --> 00:03:11,834 [woman] I've got a hard cider and a bag of Crossbone Crunch. 31 00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:12,834 It's a party. 32 00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:15,834 I'm-- I'm just so, so thrilled for you, Kate. 33 00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:19,459 To Comet Dibiasky, right? Cheers! 34 00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:22,959 It's gotta be, look… It's gotta be an Oort cloud comet 35 00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:24,876 just based on where you saw it. 36 00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:27,126 Probably the last time it was this close to the Sun 37 00:03:27,209 --> 00:03:29,418 was long before human civilization. 38 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,584 Look at the arc on that thing. God, it's amazing. 39 00:03:31,668 --> 00:03:35,126 How would we find out the comet's velocity in orbit, Professor Mindy? 40 00:03:35,209 --> 00:03:37,293 That is a good question. [sighs] 41 00:03:37,376 --> 00:03:40,209 This will be fun. I haven't done orbital dynamics since grad school. 42 00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,043 Question is, what… 43 00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:45,418 What would Carl Sagan do? 44 00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:48,918 He would take it back to first principles. 45 00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:52,709 The topocentric vector is rho. 46 00:03:54,584 --> 00:03:56,543 Kate, what are the initial coordinates? 47 00:03:57,126 --> 00:03:58,043 [Kate] Twenty-one. 48 00:03:59,709 --> 00:04:00,918 Twenty-four. 49 00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:02,543 Thirteen. 50 00:04:02,626 --> 00:04:04,293 [Mindy] This is fun, huh, guys? 51 00:04:04,376 --> 00:04:07,501 -Sixty-seven. -Wow. Now you got me pumped. 52 00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:08,834 -[man 1] Dr. Mindy. -All right… 53 00:04:08,918 --> 00:04:10,626 How many terms do you have to calibrate… 54 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,501 [Mindy] Approximation of coordinates in Marsden, '85. 55 00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:18,001 Now that we have the comet's orbit, we will check the ephemeris 56 00:04:18,084 --> 00:04:22,501 and that will give us the distance between the comet and planet Earth. 57 00:04:25,668 --> 00:04:28,126 Why does the ephemeris keep getting lower and lower? 58 00:04:38,459 --> 00:04:40,459 [breathes deeply] 59 00:04:42,751 --> 00:04:43,876 Professor Mindy? 60 00:04:49,459 --> 00:04:50,668 Professor Mindy? 61 00:04:56,293 --> 00:04:58,084 You know what, guys? Let's… 62 00:04:58,918 --> 00:05:00,501 Let's call it a night, huh? 63 00:05:02,876 --> 00:05:04,959 [man 2] But what about the relative position? 64 00:05:05,459 --> 00:05:08,543 I can't figure this one out. Not tonight, guys. Sorry. 65 00:05:09,334 --> 00:05:11,918 -[man 1] Let's hit it, man. I'm beat. -[woman 2] Me too. 66 00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:15,418 -[man 1] Kate, this was amazing. -[man 2] Congratulations. 67 00:05:16,043 --> 00:05:17,001 Hey, Kate. 68 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:19,709 You stay. 69 00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:25,918 [phone dialing] 70 00:05:28,584 --> 00:05:30,043 [line ringing] 71 00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:31,751 [man] Yeah, uh, Dr. Calder, 72 00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:33,959 a Michigan State professor and his grad students-- 73 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:36,418 This is Dr. Calder. You pulled me out of a meeting 74 00:05:36,501 --> 00:05:39,334 where I had to tell my team we lost eight billion in funding. 75 00:05:39,418 --> 00:05:42,251 I am so sorry, Dr. Calder, 76 00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:45,168 but we are seeing some awfully strange orbital numbers 77 00:05:45,251 --> 00:05:47,084 on this comet we just found. 78 00:05:47,168 --> 00:05:49,001 They should be in your inbox, right? 79 00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:50,959 -[Calder] Is this it? -Yeah. This is it. 80 00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:53,418 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let me get Dr. Oglethorpe on the line. 81 00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:54,834 Please hold. 82 00:05:54,918 --> 00:05:57,293 Uh… Uh, I'm on hold. 83 00:05:57,376 --> 00:06:00,543 She's calling a Dr. Oglethorpe. Who is that? 84 00:06:01,376 --> 00:06:04,126 Jesus Christ. I'm gonna put them on speaker. 85 00:06:04,209 --> 00:06:06,001 [music playing on speaker] 86 00:06:06,084 --> 00:06:07,209 "Dr. Oglethorpe, 87 00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:10,709 head of the Planetary Defense Coordination Office." 88 00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:12,668 -Is that a real place? -I have no idea. 89 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:15,751 [music continues playing] 90 00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:22,668 [man on speaker] This is Dr. Oglethorpe. 91 00:06:22,751 --> 00:06:24,251 Yes, this is Jocelyn Calder 92 00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:25,418 from Kennedy Space Center. 93 00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,043 [Oglethorpe] Hey, Jocelyn. 94 00:06:27,126 --> 00:06:29,168 Listen, we got a sighting 95 00:06:29,251 --> 00:06:31,543 of an NEO from Subaru telescope. 96 00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:32,959 Okay. Uh… 97 00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:35,501 Why you just didn't report it to the Minor Planet Center? 98 00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:38,376 [Calder] It's a professor and a bunch of Michigan State students 99 00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,376 who identified something big. 100 00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:41,876 Really? How large? 101 00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:43,334 [Calder] How big we talking? 102 00:06:43,418 --> 00:06:45,709 We clocked it in around five to ten kilometers wide. 103 00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,293 About five to ten kilometers wide. 104 00:06:48,293 --> 00:06:49,793 Uh… That's a big boy. 105 00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:55,334 And, uh, was this professor the one who first made the observations? 106 00:06:55,418 --> 00:06:57,668 Hi, yes. Uh, Dr. Mindy. 107 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,126 And-- And no, PhD candidate Kate Dibiasky found it. 108 00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:02,959 I did the orbital calculations. 109 00:07:03,668 --> 00:07:07,293 I, uh… I study trace gasses in dead galaxies. 110 00:07:07,376 --> 00:07:10,793 I haven't published in a while so you probably haven't heard of me. 111 00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:11,959 But anyway, that doesn't matter. 112 00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,376 Sorry. What was your question? 113 00:07:14,459 --> 00:07:17,418 What are the most updated estimates on its trajectory? 114 00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:18,501 [Mindy] Kate? 115 00:07:20,668 --> 00:07:21,668 Um… 116 00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:27,084 I've been running it all day. I keep getting the same result. 117 00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:30,918 A direct hit of Earth in six months and 14 days. 118 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,043 Me too. 119 00:07:33,126 --> 00:07:35,376 [Calder] Matthew, what are your calculations? 120 00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:40,543 Um, Scout program is saying six months, 14 days. 121 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,834 [Calder] We got six months and 14 days. 122 00:07:42,918 --> 00:07:48,959 And it's roughly five to ten kilometers wide. 123 00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:51,168 Which… Which, uh… 124 00:07:52,293 --> 00:07:53,668 [Mindy] Isn't that… 125 00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:56,126 an extinction-level event? 126 00:07:57,251 --> 00:07:59,376 Well, let's not be dramatic here. 127 00:08:01,543 --> 00:08:02,584 Okay, uh… 128 00:08:03,293 --> 00:08:07,334 First move is to get the school field trip out here to DC. 129 00:08:07,418 --> 00:08:08,876 [Calder] Let's all calm down. 130 00:08:08,959 --> 00:08:11,209 I need the person who first had eyes on the comet 131 00:08:11,293 --> 00:08:12,793 and the person in charge. 132 00:08:12,876 --> 00:08:13,876 What? 133 00:08:13,959 --> 00:08:15,334 [indistinct chatter] 134 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:21,251 …share this data immediately with Cambridge, Caltech and IAU. 135 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,334 Wait a minute. This is classified information. 136 00:08:23,418 --> 00:08:24,751 [Mindy] What's happening? 137 00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,876 [Calder] I serve at the discretion of the president. 138 00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:28,209 Is this really happening? 139 00:08:28,293 --> 00:08:30,709 …and the dead galaxy professor to Hickam Air Force base. 140 00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:33,334 [Mindy] DC, right? Hey! Hey, Kate. [clapping] 141 00:08:33,418 --> 00:08:35,334 This isn't happening, right? 142 00:08:35,418 --> 00:08:38,584 Kate, this isn't real, right? This is, uh… 143 00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:41,168 This is just some sort of alternate reality, right? 144 00:08:41,251 --> 00:08:42,084 Say something. 145 00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:43,793 I gotta go get high. 146 00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:48,084 Word is that I need you both in DC fast. Only plane I got going there is that one. 147 00:08:48,168 --> 00:08:50,418 Anyway, I am Dr. Mindy. This is-- 148 00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:52,251 -Hi! Oh. -[soldier] Go, go, go! 149 00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:54,793 [soldiers yelling] 150 00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:57,751 -[Mindy] Where do we sit, Kate? -I have no idea. 151 00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,668 [Mindy] Is there any customary seating for… 152 00:08:59,751 --> 00:09:01,793 [upbeat tense music playing] 153 00:09:06,751 --> 00:09:10,668 What the fuck? Is this real? Is this a goddamn joke? 154 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:11,876 Holy shit. 155 00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:21,043 This can't be happening. No. 156 00:09:22,251 --> 00:09:25,251 [music continues playing] 157 00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:00,543 [music ends] 158 00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:02,168 [birds chirping] 159 00:10:06,626 --> 00:10:07,793 [indistinct chatter] 160 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,168 -Brendon. You mean Brendon? -Yeah, Brendon. 161 00:10:11,251 --> 00:10:15,084 You know, he didn't keep his head down. It's all politics, Teddy. You know that. 162 00:10:15,168 --> 00:10:17,126 [Oglethorpe] You must be Randall and Kate. 163 00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:18,293 Yes. Yes, hi. 164 00:10:18,376 --> 00:10:20,626 I'm Dr. Oglethorpe, but you can call me Teddy. 165 00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:22,209 I'm sorry. Did you say your name… 166 00:10:22,293 --> 00:10:25,376 -I should call you "Teddy"? Teddy. -[Oglethorpe] Teddy. Yeah. 167 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,126 [chuckles] Yeah, we call him Teddy because he ain't no teddy bear. 168 00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:31,459 General Themes. I'm the Pentagon's eyes on, uh, 169 00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,418 you know, whatever this turns out to be. 170 00:10:33,501 --> 00:10:37,918 The president is famously late, and you've had a long flight, so… 171 00:10:38,584 --> 00:10:40,001 [both sigh] 172 00:10:40,668 --> 00:10:44,293 -[sighs] Michigan State Spartans. -[Kate] Mmm. 173 00:10:48,959 --> 00:10:52,626 -Is that the Oval Office? -Yeah, that's the Oval Office, yeah. 174 00:10:53,501 --> 00:10:55,584 It's a lot smaller than in the photographs. 175 00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:57,668 [Oglethorpe] The president should be here shortly. 176 00:10:57,751 --> 00:10:58,918 She's already been briefed. 177 00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:00,501 Correct, Scott? 178 00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,209 [Scott] That is correct. 179 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,793 Are we really about to tell the president of the United States 180 00:11:05,876 --> 00:11:07,626 that we have just over six months 181 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:12,209 until humankind, basically every species, is completely extinct? 182 00:11:12,293 --> 00:11:16,334 [breath trembling] Yeah. That's exactly what we're about to do. Yeah. 183 00:11:18,584 --> 00:11:19,626 [grunts] 184 00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:21,251 [gags] 185 00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:23,959 [Mindy] Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. 186 00:11:24,043 --> 00:11:27,043 [upbeat instrumental music playing] 187 00:12:13,584 --> 00:12:15,459 [woman 1] Yes, I said law enforcement. 188 00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:18,751 But I didn't want… I mean, you told me that he was clean. 189 00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:20,876 [indistinct chatter] 190 00:12:20,959 --> 00:12:24,209 -Hello, Madam President. Dr. Oglethorpe. -[guard] Step back, please. 191 00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:25,709 [Oglethorpe] Hello. 192 00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:30,251 Madam President, I'm Dr. Oglethorpe. I believe Jocelyn briefed you to… 193 00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,876 -Hey, Jason. -[Jason] Yeah? What up, yo? 194 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,209 Come on, man. What the hell? This is real world. 195 00:12:35,293 --> 00:12:36,918 Yeah. I know. We need five minutes. 196 00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:40,668 We have a problem with our Supreme Court nominee. Five minutes. Thank you. 197 00:12:41,709 --> 00:12:43,584 [door opens and closes] 198 00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:45,626 [laughter in distance] 199 00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:47,876 [indistinct chatter] 200 00:12:53,376 --> 00:12:57,584 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 201 00:12:57,668 --> 00:13:02,001 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 202 00:13:02,084 --> 00:13:06,584 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Patty… ♪ 203 00:13:08,543 --> 00:13:11,793 [woman 2] Just take a message, and then, stuff like this happens, 204 00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,543 and I don't know what's going on. 205 00:13:14,876 --> 00:13:17,584 I don't understand how many more times I need to tell you… 206 00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:21,543 Well, there's a bunch of stuff about their nominee not being qualified, 207 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:25,918 but I don't see any articles about our thing. 208 00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:28,334 Social media is just going on and on 209 00:13:28,418 --> 00:13:32,293 about that singer Riley Bina and DJ Chello breaking up. 210 00:13:33,501 --> 00:13:35,209 That's just too bad. 211 00:13:36,126 --> 00:13:37,334 They seem like sweet kids. 212 00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:39,584 Hmm. I don't… I don't know them. 213 00:13:41,751 --> 00:13:42,626 Which is… 214 00:13:42,709 --> 00:13:44,418 -It's a shame though. -Yeah. 215 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,668 -Do you know them, Kate? -Yes. 216 00:13:46,751 --> 00:13:49,459 -But I don't really give a shit right now. -Oh. 217 00:13:49,543 --> 00:13:51,168 [footsteps approaching] 218 00:13:51,251 --> 00:13:53,251 They charge an arm and a leg for this stuff. 219 00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,084 -Ten apiece ought to do it. -[Mindy] Oh. 220 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,668 -[Scott] Grab a water. -Thank you. 221 00:13:56,751 --> 00:13:57,959 I've got Kate as well. 222 00:13:58,043 --> 00:13:59,293 -Perfect. -[Kate] Thank you. 223 00:13:59,376 --> 00:14:01,043 -Here's a 20. -[Scott] Oh. 224 00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:05,376 -You got change? -No. 225 00:14:08,418 --> 00:14:11,251 -I mean, I could ask the Marine. -Yeah… [mumbles] 226 00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:14,668 Uh, it's a Xanax. 227 00:14:14,751 --> 00:14:17,793 -I only take a quarter. Otherwise I get… -[Oglethorpe] Ah… 228 00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:20,001 -Kate. -Thank you. 229 00:14:20,751 --> 00:14:23,126 You know, you should be careful with that much. 230 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:32,001 -[crickets chirping] -[clock ticking] 231 00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:34,001 [cell phone vibrating] 232 00:14:34,084 --> 00:14:36,751 ♪This eagle's place is in the sky ♪ 233 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,209 [sighing] 234 00:14:42,376 --> 00:14:43,251 Oh! 235 00:14:44,001 --> 00:14:47,001 I'm very sorry. I have to be in Okinawa by two o'clock tomorrow. 236 00:14:47,084 --> 00:14:49,418 -[Mindy] What? -What? Are you serious? 237 00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:52,209 -This is very important. -I have to go quell the natives. 238 00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:53,918 Tell your daughter I said hello. 239 00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:58,376 Isn't it important that he was in the room with us? I mean, what… 240 00:14:58,459 --> 00:15:00,459 [upbeat jazz music playing] 241 00:15:05,543 --> 00:15:06,876 Where do I pay for these? 242 00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:08,001 It's free. 243 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:11,834 Really? 244 00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:13,418 Yes, it's the White House. 245 00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:21,959 The snacks are free. 246 00:15:22,751 --> 00:15:23,626 What? 247 00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:25,334 The general. 248 00:15:25,418 --> 00:15:28,209 He charged us for the snacks, but they're free. 249 00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:29,459 Oh, gosh. 250 00:15:29,543 --> 00:15:31,584 [Kate] Why on earth would he do that? 251 00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:35,334 Hey, peeps, uh, it's not looking like it's gonna happen tonight, 252 00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:37,334 and I feel horrible. 253 00:15:37,418 --> 00:15:39,334 We're gonna put you up in a hotel somewhere. 254 00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:41,584 Excuse me, does the president know why we're here? 255 00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:43,959 [Kate] You gotta be fucking kidding me. 256 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,209 [Mindy] They must not know why we're here, right? 257 00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,918 They know. Uh, but you heard 'em. 258 00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:50,334 -Do they even realize… -[Oglethorpe] Be ready for tomorrow. 259 00:15:50,418 --> 00:15:51,751 …how long it took for us to get… 260 00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,834 [suspenseful music playing] 261 00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:57,751 [Kate] And then they made us wait for over seven hours, 262 00:15:57,834 --> 00:15:59,959 but they never called us in. I couldn't believe it. 263 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:03,543 Of course they didn't call you in. Kate, have you watched any news today? 264 00:16:03,626 --> 00:16:07,001 No, I've been pretty wrapped up in our… project. 265 00:16:07,084 --> 00:16:08,543 Turn on your TV right now. 266 00:16:08,626 --> 00:16:11,293 President Orlean is in the middle of an all-time shit storm. 267 00:16:11,918 --> 00:16:15,209 [reporter] Sheriff Wade Conlon was already a controversial nominee, 268 00:16:15,293 --> 00:16:20,001 with no law degree and a record of "shoot first and ask questions later." 269 00:16:20,084 --> 00:16:21,168 You watching? 270 00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:23,293 With his background as a nude life model… 271 00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:25,793 Yeah, I'm watching it right now. 272 00:16:25,876 --> 00:16:28,293 …the White House is in full crisis mode. 273 00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:29,543 And, get this. 274 00:16:29,626 --> 00:16:32,793 I found five former students 275 00:16:32,876 --> 00:16:37,709 who are willing to go on record that Conlon got noticeably aroused 276 00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:39,418 when he posed for their drawing class. 277 00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:40,959 I have no shame in what I did. 278 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,959 Now, should I say "noticeably aroused"? 279 00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:47,959 Or "engorged"? Because I don't want this to read like clickbait. 280 00:16:48,043 --> 00:16:49,751 You know, this is a real article. 281 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:54,334 I just… Kate, can I get something from you, please? 282 00:16:55,126 --> 00:16:56,293 [clears throat] Sorry. 283 00:16:57,126 --> 00:17:00,126 -Out of sorts tonight. -Can we have this conversation? 284 00:17:00,209 --> 00:17:02,126 I feel like we're skirting around this. 285 00:17:02,209 --> 00:17:05,043 Do you have an issue with my mom? Is that what this is all about? 286 00:17:05,126 --> 00:17:06,043 [music playing on TV] 287 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,834 [woman] You can't tell me what's going on? 288 00:17:07,918 --> 00:17:10,501 It's just the protocol. Please, don't worry. 289 00:17:10,584 --> 00:17:15,251 Oh, Marshall got a 172 on his LSATs and we're celebrating. 290 00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,709 Way to go, Marshall. I'm proud of you, buddy. 291 00:17:18,793 --> 00:17:21,126 -Whoo! Thank you, Dad. Miss you. -[chuckles] 292 00:17:21,209 --> 00:17:24,751 Hey, how's Evan feeling? Are the new meds working out? 293 00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:26,709 -I'm a solid four. -[Mrs. Mindy] Ooh! 294 00:17:26,793 --> 00:17:28,126 He's a solid four. 295 00:17:28,209 --> 00:17:30,793 Well, that's better than last month, right? 296 00:17:30,876 --> 00:17:34,126 You know, just remember to speak up in the meeting tomorrow. Okay? 297 00:17:34,209 --> 00:17:35,793 -Yeah. I will. -You get so quiet. 298 00:17:35,876 --> 00:17:38,459 When it's time to take credit, you kind of… 299 00:17:38,543 --> 00:17:43,043 She asked you if you were a lesbian. She did not say that you were a lesbian. 300 00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:44,959 -It was a question. -Hey, look, I'm… 301 00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:48,251 Can I sit down with your mom to have lunch in, like, seven months? 302 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:52,626 Seven… That's weirdly specific and distant. 303 00:17:53,126 --> 00:17:54,668 What is… This is my mom. 304 00:17:54,751 --> 00:17:57,459 [upbeat tense music playing] 305 00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:02,584 [Orlean] So… Oh! 306 00:18:02,668 --> 00:18:06,084 I heard there's an asteroid or a comet or something 307 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,001 that you don't like the looks of. 308 00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:12,459 [sighs] Tell me about it and then tell me why you're telling me about it. 309 00:18:12,543 --> 00:18:14,251 You got 20 minutes. 310 00:18:14,334 --> 00:18:16,251 -Twenty minutes? -That's you, Doc. 311 00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:18,418 [softly] Go. Now. Go. 312 00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:20,043 Uh… [clears throat] 313 00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:22,168 Madam President. [breathing heavily] 314 00:18:22,251 --> 00:18:23,709 [clears throat] Uh… 315 00:18:23,793 --> 00:18:27,168 Approximately 36 hours ago, 316 00:18:27,251 --> 00:18:31,834 uh, PhD candidate Kate Dibiasky here discovered 317 00:18:32,501 --> 00:18:34,043 a very large comet. 318 00:18:34,126 --> 00:18:34,959 Oh. 319 00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:36,834 -[Mindy] Yeah. -Good for you. 320 00:18:36,918 --> 00:18:39,584 A comet between five to ten kilometers across, 321 00:18:39,668 --> 00:18:41,918 that we estimate came from the, uh… 322 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:44,293 from the… from the Oort cloud. 323 00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:45,251 [Orlean] Wow. 324 00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:47,834 Which is the outermost part of the solar system. 325 00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:49,501 And, um… 326 00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:53,459 And using Gauss's method of orbital determination 327 00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:58,668 and the average astrometric uncertainty of 0.04 arcseconds, we then asked-- 328 00:18:58,751 --> 00:19:03,043 -[chuckling] Whoa! What the hell is… What? -I'm so bored. Just tell us what it is. 329 00:19:03,126 --> 00:19:05,334 -What? Stop what? -[Jason] Seriously, stop. 330 00:19:05,418 --> 00:19:08,459 What Dr. Mindy is trying to say is there's a comet headed towards Earth, 331 00:19:08,543 --> 00:19:10,751 and according to NASA's computers, 332 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,959 that object is gonna hit the Pacific Ocean 333 00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:15,209 at 62 miles due west off the coast of Chile. 334 00:19:15,293 --> 00:19:17,209 Then what happens? Like, a tidal wave? 335 00:19:17,293 --> 00:19:20,709 No. It will be far more catastrophic. 336 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:25,293 There'll be mile-high tsunamis fanning out all across the globe. 337 00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:32,376 If this comet makes impact, it will have the power of a billion Hiroshima bombs. 338 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:36,418 [exhales sharply] There'll be magnitude 10 or 11 earthquakes-- 339 00:19:36,501 --> 00:19:39,418 You're breathing weird. It's, uh, making me uncomfortable. 340 00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:42,043 I'm sorry, I'm just trying to articulate the science. 341 00:19:42,126 --> 00:19:45,168 I know. But it's so stressful. I'm trying to, like, listen-- 342 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,959 [Mindy] I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. 343 00:19:48,043 --> 00:19:49,918 I'm trying to articulate it the best I can-- 344 00:19:50,001 --> 00:19:54,834 Madam President, this comet is what we call a planet-killer. 345 00:19:54,918 --> 00:19:56,376 [Mindy] That is correct. 346 00:19:58,834 --> 00:19:59,918 Mmm-hmm. 347 00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:02,376 So how certain is this? 348 00:20:02,459 --> 00:20:05,584 There's 100% certainty of impact. 349 00:20:05,668 --> 00:20:07,709 Please, don't say 100%. 350 00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:10,376 Can we just call it a potentially significant event? 351 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:11,501 -[Orlean] Yeah. -Yes. 352 00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:14,293 But it isn't potentially going to happen. 353 00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,543 It is going to happen. 354 00:20:16,626 --> 00:20:20,126 Exactly. 99.78% to be exact. 355 00:20:20,209 --> 00:20:22,334 Oh, great. Okay, so it's not 100%. 356 00:20:22,418 --> 00:20:25,293 Well, scientists never like to say 100%. 357 00:20:25,376 --> 00:20:27,834 Call it 70% and let's just move on. 358 00:20:27,918 --> 00:20:29,584 But it's not even close to 70%. 359 00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:32,001 You cannot go around saying to people 360 00:20:32,084 --> 00:20:34,834 that there's 100% chance that they're gonna die. 361 00:20:34,918 --> 00:20:37,834 [chuckling] You know? It's just nuts. 362 00:20:37,918 --> 00:20:40,501 We should get some of our scientists on this, you know. 363 00:20:40,584 --> 00:20:44,293 No offense, but you're just two people that walked in here with-- 364 00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,584 Dr. Oglethorpe. 365 00:20:45,668 --> 00:20:47,209 Dr. Ov… Ogilvy. Yeah. 366 00:20:47,293 --> 00:20:50,834 I've been head of planetary defense at NASA for 15 years. 367 00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:55,376 And Dr. Mindy is a tenured professor of astronomy at Michigan State, 368 00:20:55,459 --> 00:20:58,418 where Miss Dibiasky is a doctoral candidate. 369 00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:01,126 -[Orlean] Good. -I'm sorry. Did you say Michigan State? 370 00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:03,793 Exactly. They have an excellent astronomy department. 371 00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,293 -[Mindy] Yes. -Come on, bro. 372 00:21:05,376 --> 00:21:07,668 You kidding? You wanna see my fucking SAT scores? 373 00:21:07,751 --> 00:21:09,751 Okay, let's bottom line this. 374 00:21:09,834 --> 00:21:11,709 What is this gonna cost me? 375 00:21:11,793 --> 00:21:13,918 You know, what's the ask here? 376 00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:17,084 There are government plans in place. 377 00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,584 Um, actions we can take through NASA. 378 00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:22,626 -[Mindy breathing heavily] -Drones that can be outfitted with nukes 379 00:21:22,709 --> 00:21:27,126 to deflect and hopefully change the orbit of this comet. 380 00:21:27,209 --> 00:21:28,959 We must act now. 381 00:21:29,043 --> 00:21:31,626 [Orlean] Oh, hey. All right, all right, all right. 382 00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:34,043 -When are the midterms? Three weeks. -Three weeks. 383 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,834 So, if this breaks before then, we lose Congress. 384 00:21:36,918 --> 00:21:38,876 Then there's nothing we can do about it. 385 00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:39,876 It'll be gridlocked. 386 00:21:39,959 --> 00:21:43,959 -The timing is just… It's atrocious. -[drawer opens and closes] 387 00:21:45,043 --> 00:21:51,168 Okay, at this very moment, I say we sit tight and assess. 388 00:21:51,251 --> 00:21:52,501 [Jason] Sit tight and assess. 389 00:21:52,584 --> 00:21:55,668 [Orlean] Let's get some other people on this. Some Ivy Leaguers. 390 00:21:55,751 --> 00:21:58,501 And you and I will review the NASA plans. 391 00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,334 -Okay? -I'd greatly appreciate that. 392 00:22:00,418 --> 00:22:03,626 Am I to understand correctly that, 393 00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:07,376 after all of the information you've received today, 394 00:22:08,084 --> 00:22:12,334 the decision you're making is to "sit tight and assess"? 395 00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:15,668 -I'm sorry, who is she? -Who the fuck are you? Aren't you her son? 396 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,459 I'm the fucking Chief of Staff, Boy with the Dragon Tattoo. 397 00:22:18,543 --> 00:22:19,834 So I'm doing fine. 398 00:22:19,918 --> 00:22:22,584 [whispers] We gotta get out of here. This place is a freak show. 399 00:22:22,668 --> 00:22:25,251 [Mindy] I think what Miss Dibiasky is trying to say 400 00:22:25,334 --> 00:22:30,418 is that the idea of sitting tight is an extremely, extremely dangerous-- 401 00:22:30,501 --> 00:22:32,168 Oh, oh! [laughing] 402 00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,459 [sighs] 403 00:22:33,543 --> 00:22:36,793 Thank you. One good thing happened today. [chuckles] 404 00:22:36,876 --> 00:22:38,959 Okay, funny story. [clears throat] 405 00:22:39,043 --> 00:22:40,709 When I was running for president, 406 00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:44,001 I had to sneak cigarettes for the whole first month of the campaign 407 00:22:44,084 --> 00:22:46,334 because, you know, photographs of me smoking 408 00:22:46,418 --> 00:22:48,376 went for, what, a hundred grand a pop? 409 00:22:48,459 --> 00:22:49,543 [chuckles] 410 00:22:49,626 --> 00:22:52,584 So, I'm always hiding, but, you know, I just got sick of it. 411 00:22:53,209 --> 00:22:56,251 And I just said, "You know what, I'm gonna smoke whenever I want to." 412 00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:58,459 [chuckles] Mmm… 413 00:23:00,709 --> 00:23:01,834 Guess what happened? 414 00:23:02,709 --> 00:23:06,543 -I went up three points in the polls. -[Jason] They loved that she kept it real. 415 00:23:06,626 --> 00:23:08,501 They love watching a smokeshow smoke. 416 00:23:08,584 --> 00:23:11,626 I can't think of another president that I'd ever wanna see in Playboy. 417 00:23:11,709 --> 00:23:15,043 Do you know how many, uh, "the world is ending" meetings 418 00:23:15,126 --> 00:23:16,751 that we've had over the years? 419 00:23:16,834 --> 00:23:20,876 Economic collapse, loose nukes, car exhaust killing the atmosphere. 420 00:23:20,959 --> 00:23:23,709 -Rogue AI. -Drought, famine, plague… 421 00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:25,001 -Uh… -[Orlean] Everything. 422 00:23:25,084 --> 00:23:28,876 [chuckles] Alien invasion, population growth, hole in the ozone-- 423 00:23:28,959 --> 00:23:29,959 Jason, hey. 424 00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:32,209 -Read the room for once in your life. -Sorry, Mom. 425 00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:35,043 Point is, I have a job to do. 426 00:23:35,126 --> 00:23:37,876 You do understand that this is an apocalyptic event. 427 00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:43,293 This is a large celestial body heading towards our planet at speeds-- 428 00:23:43,376 --> 00:23:45,376 Dr. Mindy, I hear you. 429 00:23:46,501 --> 00:23:47,668 I hear you. 430 00:23:48,668 --> 00:23:51,251 -You should be proud. -[breathes deeply] Thank you. 431 00:23:51,334 --> 00:23:54,709 I'm taking it very seriously. I'm taking it straight in the heart. 432 00:23:54,793 --> 00:23:57,918 I'm so glad to hear that. You have no idea. 433 00:23:58,001 --> 00:24:03,043 Hey, gang, obviously everything we talked about in here, super classified, right? 434 00:24:03,126 --> 00:24:04,543 -[Oglethorpe] Yeah. -Cool. 435 00:24:04,626 --> 00:24:05,793 Thanks for dressing up. 436 00:24:12,001 --> 00:24:14,334 [upbeat tense music playing] 437 00:24:14,418 --> 00:24:17,084 [Mindy] You're saying we're just gonna leak it to the press? 438 00:24:17,168 --> 00:24:19,668 -Isn't that illegal? -Hell yeah, we're going to leak it. 439 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:22,376 In case you didn't notice, the White House just blew us off. 440 00:24:22,459 --> 00:24:24,418 My boyfriend, Phillip, says he knows a reporter 441 00:24:24,501 --> 00:24:26,501 from the New York Herald who will talk to us. 442 00:24:26,584 --> 00:24:29,293 -Adul Grelio. -Good. He's a heavy hitter. 443 00:24:29,376 --> 00:24:32,584 And I'll reach out to more of the scientific community on the down-low. 444 00:24:33,918 --> 00:24:38,459 -I just feel like this isn't what I do. -You're just telling a story. 445 00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:39,793 Keep it simple. 446 00:24:40,501 --> 00:24:41,626 No math. 447 00:24:42,834 --> 00:24:44,209 But it's all math. 448 00:24:45,043 --> 00:24:47,918 [music continues playing] 449 00:24:51,209 --> 00:24:53,501 [uplifting electronic music playing] 450 00:24:56,626 --> 00:24:59,376 [male voice on video] It all started with a connection. 451 00:24:59,459 --> 00:25:03,084 A simple gesture that created so much. 452 00:25:03,918 --> 00:25:05,043 So many choices. 453 00:25:06,251 --> 00:25:08,584 Sometimes, it can even feel like too much. 454 00:25:09,418 --> 00:25:10,918 Until now. 455 00:25:11,001 --> 00:25:13,334 Introducing BASH LiiF. 456 00:25:14,126 --> 00:25:16,834 Life, without the stress of living. 457 00:25:16,918 --> 00:25:18,543 [cheers and applause] 458 00:25:18,626 --> 00:25:21,459 [woman on PA] Before we introduce the founder and CEO of BASH, 459 00:25:21,543 --> 00:25:23,834 please remember to avoid direct eye contact, 460 00:25:23,918 --> 00:25:27,501 sudden movements, coughing or negative facial expressions. 461 00:25:27,584 --> 00:25:30,959 And now, please welcome Sir Peter Isherwell. 462 00:25:31,043 --> 00:25:32,668 [cheers and applause] 463 00:25:34,043 --> 00:25:35,834 [man 1] We love you, Peter! 464 00:25:39,959 --> 00:25:42,959 [audience cheering loudly] 465 00:25:46,126 --> 00:25:48,168 [man 2] We love you, Peter! 466 00:25:48,251 --> 00:25:49,418 Hello, everyone. 467 00:25:49,501 --> 00:25:51,876 All of my life's work, 468 00:25:52,501 --> 00:25:57,459 really, I see has been driven by an inexpressible need for a friend 469 00:25:58,043 --> 00:26:00,459 who would understand and soothe me. 470 00:26:00,543 --> 00:26:05,834 And you know, now all those years of work have come to fruition with BASH LiiF, 471 00:26:05,918 --> 00:26:10,418 our new BASH 14.3, uh, phone 472 00:26:10,501 --> 00:26:14,793 is fully integrated into your every feeling and desire 473 00:26:14,876 --> 00:26:17,376 without you needing to say one single word. 474 00:26:17,459 --> 00:26:18,334 If I feel… 475 00:26:19,043 --> 00:26:20,334 -Sad. -[boy] Afraid. 476 00:26:20,418 --> 00:26:21,501 Or alone. 477 00:26:21,584 --> 00:26:25,793 The BASH 14.3 phone, when set to the life setting, 478 00:26:25,876 --> 00:26:29,001 instantly senses my mood through blood pressure… 479 00:26:29,084 --> 00:26:31,584 -Uh, heartbeats and-- -[phone chimes] 480 00:26:31,668 --> 00:26:34,043 [automated voice] Your vitals show that you are sad. 481 00:26:34,126 --> 00:26:35,876 This will cheer you up, Peter. 482 00:26:35,959 --> 00:26:40,626 [girl] ♪ You are my best friend You are my best friend ♪ 483 00:26:40,709 --> 00:26:43,584 [singing indistinctly] ♪ You make me happy… ♪ 484 00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:46,459 [Peter laughing] Oh, that's wonderful. 485 00:26:46,543 --> 00:26:48,709 That video. Um… 486 00:26:48,793 --> 00:26:52,126 It also, seriously, uh, schedules 487 00:26:52,209 --> 00:26:55,418 a therapy session with a nearby professional, 488 00:26:55,501 --> 00:27:00,251 so we can make sure that these sad feelings never ever ever return. 489 00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:03,001 -May I say something, Mr. Isherwell? -[Peter] No. 490 00:27:03,084 --> 00:27:07,584 And to support, uh, BASH LiiF, uh, I wanna officially announce… 491 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,084 Oh, give me the phones. They're not yours. 492 00:27:12,959 --> 00:27:15,168 -[softly] Say bye. -Bye, Mr. Isherwell. 493 00:27:15,251 --> 00:27:16,501 Bye, Peter. 494 00:27:16,584 --> 00:27:18,501 Um, I love you, Peter. 495 00:27:18,584 --> 00:27:21,376 Are you sure the video of the puppy on the rooster 496 00:27:21,459 --> 00:27:25,459 is optimizing our prepubescent  sense memory consumer sector? 497 00:27:25,543 --> 00:27:27,209 I find the bird quite threatening. 498 00:27:27,293 --> 00:27:30,334 We will cross-check the data on that, for sure. 499 00:27:30,418 --> 00:27:33,001 Mr. Isherwell, Paul Debent wanted me to give this to you. 500 00:27:33,084 --> 00:27:35,834 He got it from an astronomer friend of his in Mexico. 501 00:27:38,209 --> 00:27:39,043 Oh, my. 502 00:27:40,418 --> 00:27:43,043 What other confirmation do we have on this, Adul? 503 00:27:43,126 --> 00:27:46,459 [Adul] I've spoken to Dr. Oglethorpe in DC and he confirmed it and all the math. 504 00:27:46,543 --> 00:27:48,543 Then I showed it to Dr. Franks at Columbia, 505 00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:50,876 and he almost fell out of his chair. 506 00:27:50,959 --> 00:27:54,918 So, look, I have to admit. I was very skeptical at first, 507 00:27:55,001 --> 00:27:56,626 but this is all quite credible. 508 00:27:56,709 --> 00:27:58,959 The calculations are credible. 509 00:27:59,459 --> 00:28:00,293 Jesus. 510 00:28:00,793 --> 00:28:02,793 And the president really said to sit tight? 511 00:28:02,876 --> 00:28:05,626 -[Mindy] Yes. That's correct. -"Sit tight and assess." 512 00:28:05,709 --> 00:28:07,751 She's probably worried about the midterms. 513 00:28:07,834 --> 00:28:09,418 We need to move fast. 514 00:28:09,501 --> 00:28:11,376 The feds will claim breach of security, 515 00:28:11,459 --> 00:28:13,418 so make sure these two get a pro bono attorney. 516 00:28:13,501 --> 00:28:16,501 -[woman 1] You can use my attorney. -You can certainly afford it now. 517 00:28:16,584 --> 00:28:17,876 We're gonna hire a lawyer? 518 00:28:17,959 --> 00:28:20,209 -[woman 1] That wasn't necessary. -[woman 2] It was. 519 00:28:20,293 --> 00:28:21,834 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. 520 00:28:21,918 --> 00:28:23,209 That was not called for. 521 00:28:23,293 --> 00:28:25,126 [Mindy] I just have a question here. 522 00:28:25,209 --> 00:28:27,668 How is it criminal if we just tell people, 523 00:28:27,751 --> 00:28:31,043 like the public, you know, what we saw, and tell them the truth? 524 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,209 Make sure this one gets media training before he hits the shows. 525 00:28:34,293 --> 00:28:35,918 He seems a step slow. 526 00:28:36,001 --> 00:28:38,126 What does that mean, I need media training? 527 00:28:39,084 --> 00:28:41,834 They want us on a show called The Daily Rip 528 00:28:41,918 --> 00:28:44,543 first thing in the morning before the article comes out. 529 00:28:44,626 --> 00:28:46,459 You guys know what The Daily Rip is? 530 00:28:46,543 --> 00:28:49,043 It's like the best show. Everyone wants to be on it. 531 00:28:49,126 --> 00:28:50,959 Brie and Jack have legendary chemistry. 532 00:28:51,043 --> 00:28:52,293 They asked me to go on once. 533 00:28:52,376 --> 00:28:54,543 I was so excited I couldn't sleep for two nights, 534 00:28:54,626 --> 00:28:55,959 but then they cut me for time. 535 00:28:56,043 --> 00:28:57,793 Still hurts me to think about that. 536 00:28:57,876 --> 00:29:01,626 I know what show you're talking about. My wife loves that show. 537 00:29:01,709 --> 00:29:04,501 Okay, can you just tell me what this is all about? Okay? 538 00:29:04,584 --> 00:29:07,959 'Cause you haven't read my article on Conlon getting hard in the art class. 539 00:29:08,043 --> 00:29:10,834 Now Adul Grelio has come down from his mountaintop for your thing. 540 00:29:10,918 --> 00:29:13,668 You won't even give me a lousy pronoun? Come on. 541 00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:16,751 A comet, bigger than the asteroid that destroyed the dinosaurs, 542 00:29:16,834 --> 00:29:18,209 is headed directly at Earth. 543 00:29:18,293 --> 00:29:20,584 If it isn't deflected, the entire planet dies. 544 00:29:21,126 --> 00:29:22,668 Wait, what did you just say? 545 00:29:22,751 --> 00:29:24,043 It's for a video game. 546 00:29:27,501 --> 00:29:28,834 Are you being serious? 547 00:29:29,584 --> 00:29:30,584 Yes. 548 00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:34,126 Oh, my God. 549 00:29:34,209 --> 00:29:36,876 -[pleasant piano music playing] -[inaudible dialogue] 550 00:29:41,126 --> 00:29:43,126 [gasping] 551 00:29:44,376 --> 00:29:47,084 Oh, my God! What the fuck, man? 552 00:29:47,168 --> 00:29:49,959 I love you too. All right. Yeah. 553 00:29:50,584 --> 00:29:53,001 Hey, guys, we gotta keep walking, all right? 554 00:29:53,084 --> 00:29:54,251 Come on. 555 00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:56,209 [pensive music playing] 556 00:30:30,834 --> 00:30:33,501 -You must be Dr. Mindy and Miss Dibiasky? -Yes. 557 00:30:33,584 --> 00:30:35,876 Jack and Brie are so excited to have you on the show. 558 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,793 Really? They know who we are? 559 00:30:37,876 --> 00:30:40,209 White House is denying they even met with them. 560 00:30:40,293 --> 00:30:43,834 Well, assholes will always be assholes. 561 00:30:52,793 --> 00:30:54,668 Hi, I'm Thalia. 562 00:30:54,751 --> 00:30:57,043 The Herald sent me to help with your wardrobe. 563 00:30:58,459 --> 00:30:59,876 Oh, I'm not wearing that. 564 00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:05,459 [woman 1] Yeah, you actually have really great facial structure. 565 00:31:05,543 --> 00:31:08,376 How 'bout if we trim this beard down a little bit and-- 566 00:31:08,459 --> 00:31:09,876 I love your hair. 567 00:31:10,668 --> 00:31:11,584 Thank you. 568 00:31:12,418 --> 00:31:16,001 How are we gonna do this? I talk about the discovery and you… 569 00:31:16,709 --> 00:31:19,126 talk about how urgent it is that we take action. 570 00:31:19,209 --> 00:31:21,459 [whispers] How do we say it? I mean… 571 00:31:22,751 --> 00:31:26,168 -Shouldn't we practice it or write it out? -[woman 1] Can I get you some water? 572 00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:28,501 Yeah, water. Yeah, water would be nice. 573 00:31:29,668 --> 00:31:32,459 You are here now. You are here now. You are here now. 574 00:31:32,543 --> 00:31:37,418 [repeating] Eleven benevolent elephants. Eleven benevolent elephants. 575 00:31:38,168 --> 00:31:40,084 -Just gonna take some Xanax. -Hmm. 576 00:31:41,168 --> 00:31:42,876 [Mindy] I take it sometimes when I… 577 00:31:44,501 --> 00:31:46,668 Kate, not this time. Not this time. 578 00:31:51,459 --> 00:31:56,334 [sighs] He just needs to breathe and speak up. You know? 579 00:31:56,418 --> 00:31:57,918 He's got this. I know he does. 580 00:31:58,001 --> 00:32:00,293 [breathing heavily] 581 00:32:03,251 --> 00:32:04,501 Oh, God. Come on. 582 00:32:05,376 --> 00:32:07,168 [straining, exhales] 583 00:32:08,168 --> 00:32:09,001 [straining] 584 00:32:09,084 --> 00:32:12,251 You are here now. You are here now. You are here now. 585 00:32:12,334 --> 00:32:13,376 You're here now. 586 00:32:17,584 --> 00:32:18,501 Oh, God! 587 00:32:18,584 --> 00:32:20,418 [Jack] You gotta stop drinking the cheap shit. 588 00:32:20,501 --> 00:32:21,709 [Brie scoffs] 589 00:32:21,793 --> 00:32:23,793 -It's only two glasses. -Yeah, two and a half. 590 00:32:23,876 --> 00:32:25,584 -[man] We're 20 out. -Always running late. 591 00:32:25,668 --> 00:32:27,584 [man] Let's make sure that our eye lines, 592 00:32:27,668 --> 00:32:30,293 that we're not looking at Jack and Brie, please, all right? 593 00:32:30,376 --> 00:32:31,751 And cue the package. 594 00:32:31,834 --> 00:32:33,376 Two glasses. Here we go again. 595 00:32:33,459 --> 00:32:36,209 [theme music playing] 596 00:32:52,084 --> 00:32:54,751 -Ladies okay? -Yes. And we're live. 597 00:32:54,834 --> 00:32:58,126 Brie, I've got something for you today. Listen to this. 598 00:32:58,209 --> 00:33:01,084 President Orlean's Supreme Court nominee, Sheriff Conlon, 599 00:33:01,168 --> 00:33:06,251 has now been identified as appearing in a softcore porn cable show 600 00:33:06,334 --> 00:33:07,834 -from the early '90s… -Ridiculous. 601 00:33:07,918 --> 00:33:10,876 -…called Satin Sheet Nights. -[imperceptible] 602 00:33:10,959 --> 00:33:13,793 -This story just keeps going and going… -[Brie on TV] Oh, my gosh. 603 00:33:13,876 --> 00:33:15,168 [whispers] Is that Riley Bina? 604 00:33:15,251 --> 00:33:17,209 -[Brie] Yes, well, it's a… -[Mindy] Really? 605 00:33:17,709 --> 00:33:19,334 [Brie speaking indistinctly on TV] 606 00:33:19,418 --> 00:33:22,251 [whispers] She looks a lot smaller in person, doesn't she? 607 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,793 -[Brie] Ride 'em, cowboy. -[laughing] 608 00:33:24,876 --> 00:33:25,959 [purring] 609 00:33:26,043 --> 00:33:27,376 -[Jack] Good. -[Brie] Hee-haw! 610 00:33:27,459 --> 00:33:30,126 Hey, everyone. I'm Sean from the show. 611 00:33:30,209 --> 00:33:33,918 Uh, we're gonna do… Jack and Brie are gonna do ten on the SCOTUS nominee. 612 00:33:34,001 --> 00:33:37,293 -Riley Bina, you'll come on and-- -I get to talk about my single, right? 613 00:33:37,376 --> 00:33:40,334 A portion of the profits goes to the manatee sanctuaries. 614 00:33:40,418 --> 00:33:42,418 Yes, but the, uh, breakup first. 615 00:33:42,501 --> 00:33:45,126 And then Dr. Mindy and Miss Dibiasky, 616 00:33:45,209 --> 00:33:47,626 you'll come on and talk about that planet you discovered. 617 00:33:47,709 --> 00:33:49,501 Uh… Comet. We found a comet. 618 00:33:49,584 --> 00:33:51,709 They know what we're here to talk about, right? 619 00:33:51,793 --> 00:33:54,501 Of course. Jack and Brie love doing science segments. 620 00:33:54,584 --> 00:33:56,418 Just remember, keep it light, fun. 621 00:33:56,501 --> 00:33:58,918 -Jack and Brie love having a good time. -[sighing] 622 00:33:59,001 --> 00:34:00,543 That's not promising. 623 00:34:00,626 --> 00:34:03,751 You guys discovered a comet? That's so dope. 624 00:34:03,834 --> 00:34:05,959 I have a tattoo of a shooting star on my back. 625 00:34:06,043 --> 00:34:07,876 -Oh. -That's terrific. [chuckles] 626 00:34:07,959 --> 00:34:08,959 [Riley chuckles] 627 00:34:13,418 --> 00:34:17,793 We heard about your breakup too, so we just wanna say… 628 00:34:18,751 --> 00:34:20,376 We're very sorry, right? 629 00:34:20,459 --> 00:34:23,334 We're real sorry. You seem like a… great person. 630 00:34:24,126 --> 00:34:26,626 Why don't you mind your own business, you old fuck? 631 00:34:26,709 --> 00:34:27,834 [girls chuckle] 632 00:34:29,543 --> 00:34:30,543 Okay. 633 00:34:33,168 --> 00:34:35,334 Not gonna lie, but, um, my friends 634 00:34:35,418 --> 00:34:38,793 and my Vroom Vroom Army have been so amazing. 635 00:34:38,876 --> 00:34:42,543 So, I'm really grateful for that. But, yeah, I can't lie. It's been hard. 636 00:34:42,626 --> 00:34:45,334 -You're an inspiration. It's incredible. -To so many. 637 00:34:45,418 --> 00:34:47,293 You're really owning that pain. 638 00:34:47,376 --> 00:34:51,084 You know, Jack, I feel like there's some kind of conversation 639 00:34:51,168 --> 00:34:54,543 that we need to be having here. Is there any message 640 00:34:54,626 --> 00:34:58,793 that you would like to send to your, uh, ex, DJ Chello? 641 00:34:59,834 --> 00:35:01,126 You know, um… 642 00:35:01,209 --> 00:35:02,668 [Jack] If there's something-- 643 00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:04,334 -Yeah. -Right here in this camera. 644 00:35:04,418 --> 00:35:07,709 Tell him. As if that was him. You tell him exactly what you're thinking. 645 00:35:07,793 --> 00:35:09,251 Okay, um… [clears throat] 646 00:35:10,584 --> 00:35:11,543 [sighs] 647 00:35:11,626 --> 00:35:12,709 Chell. 648 00:35:13,543 --> 00:35:19,293 [sighs] I still love you, and, um, after many sleepless nights, 649 00:35:20,793 --> 00:35:21,876 three, 650 00:35:22,584 --> 00:35:23,918 I wanna take you back. 651 00:35:24,001 --> 00:35:25,751 I'm sorry. Whoa, uh… 652 00:35:25,834 --> 00:35:26,918 -Is that okay? -Yeah. 653 00:35:27,001 --> 00:35:29,918 -[Brie on TV] He cheated on you. -Oh, my God. You guys… 654 00:35:30,001 --> 00:35:31,709 Yeah. I do. 655 00:35:31,793 --> 00:35:34,043 -Diddly just exploded. -So did Vroom Vroom. 656 00:35:34,126 --> 00:35:36,293 BASH News just sent me eight push notifications. 657 00:35:36,376 --> 00:35:38,209 -About this? -Yeah, look. 658 00:35:38,293 --> 00:35:40,751 My phone just purchased DJ Chello's latest single. 659 00:35:40,834 --> 00:35:42,918 What the… It just did that without asking. 660 00:35:43,001 --> 00:35:45,834 I'm being told that we have DJ Chello live on a Mugg link. 661 00:35:45,918 --> 00:35:48,834 -What's he got to say for himself? -I love the producers here. 662 00:35:48,918 --> 00:35:50,168 Hey, baby doll. Hey. 663 00:35:50,251 --> 00:35:52,126 -Hi. Hi, baby. [crying] -[Jack] He's in tears. 664 00:35:52,209 --> 00:35:54,126 -Your kid messed up bad. -I know. 665 00:35:54,209 --> 00:35:56,709 Lady Baroque wasn't wearing any panties in the club that night. 666 00:35:56,793 --> 00:35:58,459 -It's fine. -I just got all crazy. 667 00:35:58,543 --> 00:36:00,459 I wasn't thinking straight. I made a mistake. 668 00:36:00,543 --> 00:36:02,418 But, look, it's always been you. 669 00:36:02,501 --> 00:36:04,834 Oh! I get it. It's okay. 670 00:36:04,918 --> 00:36:07,626 I hooked up with her too, last year at the Music Globes 671 00:36:07,709 --> 00:36:10,043 right before I ran off with that power forward from the Nuggets, 672 00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:12,293 and none of that matters. 673 00:36:12,376 --> 00:36:15,959 What about "Forget breakup sex. Try breakup relationship"? 674 00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:17,209 -That's good. -Come on. 675 00:36:17,293 --> 00:36:20,209 "Ten famous second chances for two-timers," guys. 676 00:36:20,293 --> 00:36:21,209 It's on a plate. 677 00:36:21,293 --> 00:36:25,168 I've been scared, but, honestly, I'm not scared anymore. 678 00:36:25,251 --> 00:36:26,084 Okay. 679 00:36:26,168 --> 00:36:29,001 My little bumblebee, will you marry me? 680 00:36:29,084 --> 00:36:31,668 -[gasps] Oh, my God. Of course. -[Jack] Oh, wow. 681 00:36:31,751 --> 00:36:33,251 -Chell, of course. -[DJ Chello] Yes! 682 00:36:33,334 --> 00:36:35,459 -Yes! -That's sick. 683 00:36:35,543 --> 00:36:36,376 [DJ Chello] Yes! 684 00:36:36,459 --> 00:36:38,834 All right, DJ Chello. 685 00:36:38,918 --> 00:36:40,918 -[cell phones vibrating] -What is happening? 686 00:36:41,001 --> 00:36:41,959 Just bought another. 687 00:36:42,043 --> 00:36:44,959 -Who are these people again? -They're like the biggest names… 688 00:36:45,043 --> 00:36:46,543 [Brie chuckles] 689 00:36:46,626 --> 00:36:49,668 Well, the fireworks have certainly gone off today. 690 00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:50,918 -They have. -What a zinger! 691 00:36:51,001 --> 00:36:52,501 [Jack] Yes, they have. 692 00:36:52,584 --> 00:36:55,293 From a wedding proposal to a little science experiment. 693 00:36:55,376 --> 00:36:57,293 I'll need a temple rub and a martini later on. 694 00:36:57,376 --> 00:37:02,084 [Brie] Our last guests today have made a pretty big discovery in space. 695 00:37:02,168 --> 00:37:04,084 Astronomer Dr. Randall Mindy 696 00:37:04,168 --> 00:37:07,251 and PhD candidate Miss Kate Dibiasky are here. 697 00:37:07,334 --> 00:37:08,376 Welcome to the show. 698 00:37:08,459 --> 00:37:11,626 Can I ask you one thing before we go any further? I have to know this. 699 00:37:11,709 --> 00:37:14,251 Is there life out there? 700 00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:17,751 -Can you tell us? Yes or no, final answer. -We don't have the data. 701 00:37:17,834 --> 00:37:20,001 But sure, in the vastness of space, why not? 702 00:37:20,084 --> 00:37:21,584 Yes, aliens are real. 703 00:37:21,668 --> 00:37:24,209 I knew I'd like this guy. Didn't I tell? You owe me 50 bucks. 704 00:37:24,293 --> 00:37:27,043 [Mindy] I'm not saying there's little green men in flying saucers-- 705 00:37:27,126 --> 00:37:30,251 -Please don't encourage him, Dr. Mindy. -That's what he's saying. 706 00:37:30,334 --> 00:37:31,751 We'll never get out of here. 707 00:37:31,834 --> 00:37:33,584 Now, Jack was having some fun here. 708 00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:35,209 -Dad looks great. -What did… 709 00:37:35,293 --> 00:37:37,626 -Doesn't he look good? -They did something with his beard. 710 00:37:37,709 --> 00:37:39,626 [Brie] With the aliens… 711 00:37:39,709 --> 00:37:41,501 [chuckling] Really… He really does. 712 00:37:41,584 --> 00:37:43,668 -[Jack] So much. -[Brie chuckles] Dr. Randall… 713 00:37:43,751 --> 00:37:47,168 You'll regret it. Now, look, Jack's just having some fun here 714 00:37:47,251 --> 00:37:48,918 with the aliens or whatever, 715 00:37:49,001 --> 00:37:53,293 but there's a New York Herald story that's just come out that talks about… 716 00:37:53,376 --> 00:37:55,418 Keep it right there. You're doing good. 717 00:37:55,501 --> 00:37:57,876 -…the two of you have made. -[Mindy] That's right, Brie. 718 00:37:57,959 --> 00:38:01,001 Kate was, um, observing supernovas… 719 00:38:01,084 --> 00:38:02,626 Yo, that's your girl? 720 00:38:02,709 --> 00:38:05,126 -Yeah. -Not bad. 721 00:38:05,209 --> 00:38:09,668 …an absolutely shocking and once-in-a-lifetime discovery. 722 00:38:09,751 --> 00:38:13,043 I had no idea that Subaru made telescopes. 723 00:38:13,126 --> 00:38:16,209 This has to be exciting. Tell us what you found, Miss Diabasky. 724 00:38:16,293 --> 00:38:20,293 Um, I was monitoring exploding stars 725 00:38:20,376 --> 00:38:26,793 to help measure the expansion of the universe and-- 726 00:38:26,876 --> 00:38:28,918 -For your PhD, right? -Yeah. 727 00:38:29,001 --> 00:38:33,168 [Kate] I saw something I didn't recognize. 728 00:38:34,584 --> 00:38:36,084 It was a comet. 729 00:38:36,168 --> 00:38:37,001 [sighs] 730 00:38:37,084 --> 00:38:38,209 [Kate] A big one. 731 00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:44,626 It's headed directly at Earth, and it really likely will hit. 732 00:38:45,959 --> 00:38:47,834 This sounds very, very exciting. 733 00:38:47,918 --> 00:38:50,501 Exploding stars, like, stars actually explode. 734 00:38:50,584 --> 00:38:51,751 Um, how big is this thing? 735 00:38:51,834 --> 00:38:54,126 Can it destroy someone's house? Is that possible? 736 00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:57,376 Well, Comet Dibiasky, which is what it will officially be named-- 737 00:38:57,459 --> 00:38:58,876 -[Jack] After her? -Yeah, after her. 738 00:38:58,959 --> 00:39:01,626 -[Brie] Congratulations. -[Jack] What an honor. Congratulations. 739 00:39:01,709 --> 00:39:04,209 It's somewhere between six and nine kilometers across. 740 00:39:04,293 --> 00:39:05,626 -So-- -It's big. 741 00:39:05,709 --> 00:39:08,918 It would damage the entire planet. 742 00:39:09,001 --> 00:39:10,626 Not just a house, you know? 743 00:39:10,709 --> 00:39:11,751 The entire planet. 744 00:39:11,834 --> 00:39:14,751 Okay, as it's damaging, will it hit this one house in particular 745 00:39:14,834 --> 00:39:17,918 that's right on the coast of New Jersey? It's my ex-wife's house. 746 00:39:18,001 --> 00:39:19,251 Can we make that happen? 747 00:39:19,334 --> 00:39:21,751 You and Shelly have a great relationship. Stop. 748 00:39:21,834 --> 00:39:23,168 You need to stop. 749 00:39:23,251 --> 00:39:26,168 I will, but in all fairness, I actually paid for the house. 750 00:39:26,251 --> 00:39:27,543 [Brie] I'm so sorry. 751 00:39:27,626 --> 00:39:30,626 I'm sorry, are we not being clear? 752 00:39:31,959 --> 00:39:33,834 We're trying to tell you 753 00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:37,334 that the entire planet is about to be destroyed. 754 00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:40,334 -[Jack] Okay, um… -[Brie] Well, it's, you know… 755 00:39:40,418 --> 00:39:43,668 It's something we do around here. We just keep the bad news light. 756 00:39:43,751 --> 00:39:45,668 Right. It helps the medicine go down. 757 00:39:45,751 --> 00:39:47,709 Speaking of medicine, tomorrow we've got-- 758 00:39:47,793 --> 00:39:51,584 Well, maybe the destruction of the entire planet 759 00:39:52,501 --> 00:39:53,876 isn't supposed to be fun. 760 00:39:54,668 --> 00:39:58,293 Maybe it's supposed to be terrifying. 761 00:39:58,376 --> 00:39:59,376 And unsettling. 762 00:39:59,459 --> 00:40:01,168 [Adul] No, please don't do that. 763 00:40:01,251 --> 00:40:03,376 -And you should stay up all night… -[Adul] Please. 764 00:40:03,459 --> 00:40:05,293 …every night crying, 765 00:40:05,376 --> 00:40:09,793 when we're all 100% for sure gonna fucking die! 766 00:40:10,543 --> 00:40:12,459 -[crying] -Hey, Kate. 767 00:40:12,543 --> 00:40:13,543 [Kate] I'm sorry. 768 00:40:14,918 --> 00:40:15,751 Hey, man. 769 00:40:16,418 --> 00:40:19,751 My brother has bipolar disorder. So if you ever need anyone to talk… 770 00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:22,626 -Uh… [inhales sharply] -Okay. 771 00:40:22,709 --> 00:40:25,626 Is she always like that? 772 00:40:26,334 --> 00:40:28,126 -I-- -[Brie] Something I said? 773 00:40:28,209 --> 00:40:30,126 -[Jack and Brie chuckle] -[Jack] Right? 774 00:40:30,209 --> 00:40:33,668 Maybe I should have given her that extra Xanax that I had. 775 00:40:33,751 --> 00:40:34,751 [Jack and Brie chuckle] 776 00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:38,251 Listen, if you don't have enough, we all have enough around here for her. 777 00:40:38,334 --> 00:40:41,209 A spoonful of Xanax makes the medicine go down, right? 778 00:40:41,293 --> 00:40:42,959 [Jack] That's right. That's good. 779 00:40:43,959 --> 00:40:47,209 -We're gonna have to get you back. -[Jack] I knew I'd like this guy. 780 00:40:47,293 --> 00:40:49,376 -Is he a plant? [laughing] -[Jack] I knew it. 781 00:40:49,459 --> 00:40:50,376 [Brie] Okay. 782 00:40:50,459 --> 00:40:52,834 Well, the handsome astronomer 783 00:40:52,918 --> 00:40:56,418 can come back anytime, but the yelling lady, not so much. 784 00:40:56,501 --> 00:40:59,459 [Jack] Not so much. Join us tomorrow when our guest will be the man 785 00:40:59,543 --> 00:41:03,126 that many say will challenge President Orlean in two years. 786 00:41:03,209 --> 00:41:05,209 Senator Jeff Lerner will be here. 787 00:41:05,293 --> 00:41:08,043 And wrongly-convicted murderer, Michelle Weems, 788 00:41:08,126 --> 00:41:12,418 talks to us about her controversial third-place finish on Celebrity Dance Off. 789 00:41:12,501 --> 00:41:15,876 -I thought she would've won. -Yes. I still think she's guilty. 790 00:41:15,959 --> 00:41:18,126 -That's The Daily Rip, guys. -[Brie] Have a great day. 791 00:41:18,709 --> 00:41:20,626 -[producer] And we're out! -The show's over? 792 00:41:20,709 --> 00:41:22,001 -I mean, didn't… -[Jack] Yeah. 793 00:41:22,084 --> 00:41:24,543 -Did what we wanted to say come across? -No, it's over. 794 00:41:24,626 --> 00:41:28,543 You were great, but I think mullet girl, she probably needs some media training. 795 00:41:29,668 --> 00:41:31,334 -Really? -Yeah, no, terrible, buddy. 796 00:41:31,418 --> 00:41:33,959 [Brie] Oh… Thanks. Thanks, Billy. 797 00:41:34,043 --> 00:41:39,543 Uh, we usually get drinks at Aundrine's after our five o'clock staff meeting. 798 00:41:39,626 --> 00:41:42,084 You know, it's fun. You should come. 799 00:41:42,168 --> 00:41:45,084 Oh, I'll have to see. Thank you for the invitation. Thank you. 800 00:41:45,626 --> 00:41:46,626 Mmm-hmm. 801 00:41:47,959 --> 00:41:49,334 Kate? Kate? 802 00:41:49,418 --> 00:41:52,293 -Hey. You were awesome. -Oh, thanks. 803 00:41:52,376 --> 00:41:54,334 Can I get a photo of you for my portfolio? 804 00:41:54,418 --> 00:41:55,709 -Yeah, sure. -Thanks. 805 00:41:55,793 --> 00:41:57,126 -[camera clicks] -Thank you. 806 00:41:57,709 --> 00:41:59,209 [woman] You can see this spike here 807 00:41:59,293 --> 00:42:01,418 is when Riley Bina asked to take DJ Chello back 808 00:42:01,501 --> 00:42:02,793 on the segment before you. 809 00:42:02,876 --> 00:42:06,084 We saw engagement across all social media platforms. 810 00:42:06,168 --> 00:42:08,959 Hmm. And what about our story? 811 00:42:09,043 --> 00:42:12,001 [woman] Randall and Kate, 812 00:42:12,084 --> 00:42:15,793 {\an8}your TV appearance got some nice traffic when Miss Dibiasky cursed. 813 00:42:15,876 --> 00:42:19,084 {\an8}But, unfortunately, there was an immediate backlash 814 00:42:19,168 --> 00:42:20,876 {\an8}-that quickly became a meme. -[Kate gasps] 815 00:42:20,959 --> 00:42:22,251 Oh, Jesus. 816 00:42:22,918 --> 00:42:26,293 -Oh, that's terrible. -They just think I'm crazy. 817 00:42:26,376 --> 00:42:29,376 I mean, look at that. That's so unnecessary. 818 00:42:30,751 --> 00:42:33,168 -You can move on, Erin. -Yeah. 819 00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:35,959 That is just so… Is that even allowed on the Internet or… 820 00:42:36,043 --> 00:42:37,668 I think that's Photoshop, Kate. 821 00:42:37,751 --> 00:42:40,126 [Erin] The trick is to not take it personal… 822 00:42:40,209 --> 00:42:44,501 [chuckling] Dr. Mindy, on the other hand, had some very high favorables. 823 00:42:44,584 --> 00:42:49,168 Vegan*Babe wrote, "Meow! Me likey hunky Star Man." 824 00:42:49,251 --> 00:42:52,251 Uh, some accounts called him "The Bedroom Eyes Doomsday Prophet" 825 00:42:52,334 --> 00:42:55,126 or A-I-L-F, which means "astronomer I'd like to fuck." 826 00:42:55,209 --> 00:42:56,084 [people] Oh… 827 00:42:56,168 --> 00:42:58,709 I don't see what that has to do with anything, do you? 828 00:42:59,418 --> 00:43:02,543 And that's everything. 829 00:43:02,626 --> 00:43:05,709 We did not feature or push on any sites, 830 00:43:05,793 --> 00:43:09,126 and clicks overall were below basic weather and traffic stories. 831 00:43:09,209 --> 00:43:10,459 [scoffs] 832 00:43:10,543 --> 00:43:12,543 So that… That… That's it? 833 00:43:12,626 --> 00:43:14,376 -[Kate] I knew it. -That's it. 834 00:43:15,293 --> 00:43:17,876 -Thank you, Erin. -[Erin] Yeah, no problem. 835 00:43:18,543 --> 00:43:20,793 [Mindy] I don't… I don't understand. 836 00:43:20,876 --> 00:43:22,709 I don't understand. There's no response. 837 00:43:22,793 --> 00:43:27,418 There's absolutely no… Why aren't people terrified? 838 00:43:27,501 --> 00:43:29,501 What do we have to say? What do we have to do? 839 00:43:29,584 --> 00:43:32,959 There are scientists in Mexico and Spain who are currently going through the data, 840 00:43:33,043 --> 00:43:34,751 and, uh, South Korea has expressed-- 841 00:43:34,834 --> 00:43:36,543 -That's great. South Korea. -Hey. 842 00:43:36,626 --> 00:43:39,084 Let us not bullshit each other. 843 00:43:39,168 --> 00:43:42,834 The bottom line is, you guys told us the science was 100%. 844 00:43:42,918 --> 00:43:44,668 It's not. Now we look like idiots. 845 00:43:44,751 --> 00:43:47,334 -No. Who said the science is not 100%? -Excuse me? 846 00:43:47,418 --> 00:43:50,293 I wanna talk to this person. You tell me who said the science-- 847 00:43:50,376 --> 00:43:53,376 Dr. Jocelyn Calder, the head of NASA, 848 00:43:53,459 --> 00:43:56,668 just came out calling it "more near-miss hysteria." 849 00:43:56,751 --> 00:43:58,668 She's the one who told us not to say anything. 850 00:43:58,751 --> 00:44:00,126 "More near-miss hysteria." 851 00:44:00,209 --> 00:44:01,334 Is she even an astronomer? 852 00:44:01,418 --> 00:44:04,501 She's the head of NASA, but maybe she doesn't know what she's talking about. 853 00:44:04,584 --> 00:44:06,001 She's the head of NASA, but look, 854 00:44:06,084 --> 00:44:09,918 she's a "former anesthesiologist and a President Orlean super donor." 855 00:44:10,001 --> 00:44:11,626 Let's not be dramatic here. 856 00:44:11,709 --> 00:44:12,709 It's all corrupt. 857 00:44:12,793 --> 00:44:16,459 Yes, but the point is that Adul's right. There's still serious debate. 858 00:44:16,543 --> 00:44:18,751 And now the Herald has egg on its face. 859 00:44:18,834 --> 00:44:20,959 We've taken that story as far as it goes. 860 00:44:21,709 --> 00:44:25,668 Ladies, gentlemen, I wish you a very pleasant end of times. 861 00:44:25,751 --> 00:44:27,751 [Mindy] It's not a goddamn story, okay? 862 00:44:30,251 --> 00:44:32,959 We have precisely six months, ten days, 863 00:44:33,043 --> 00:44:36,293 two hours, 11 minutes and 41 seconds, 864 00:44:36,376 --> 00:44:39,043 until a comet twice the size of Chicxulub 865 00:44:39,126 --> 00:44:41,876 tears through our atmosphere and extincts all life on Earth. 866 00:44:41,959 --> 00:44:44,876 [chuckles] When did you do those calculations? 867 00:44:45,709 --> 00:44:48,293 I put the moment of impact on a diet app. 868 00:44:48,376 --> 00:44:52,001 So, impact is when my diet ends. 869 00:44:52,084 --> 00:44:56,168 Only I'm not on a diet. I'm just crying five times a day. 870 00:44:56,251 --> 00:44:58,168 -I'm scared. -Hey, come on. Come on. 871 00:44:58,876 --> 00:45:01,459 Everyone should be panicking right now, okay? 872 00:45:01,543 --> 00:45:03,459 -Don't cry. Come on. -[Kate] I know. 873 00:45:03,543 --> 00:45:04,793 [cell phone chimes] 874 00:45:04,876 --> 00:45:05,876 [sighs] 875 00:45:06,876 --> 00:45:08,334 That prick! 876 00:45:08,418 --> 00:45:09,834 [upbeat tense music playing] 877 00:45:16,543 --> 00:45:17,709 [Mindy] What happened? 878 00:45:17,793 --> 00:45:20,126 Guess my boyfriend just broke up with me. 879 00:45:20,209 --> 00:45:24,543 -God, what a day. What a day… -[crying] 880 00:45:32,709 --> 00:45:36,001 You're gonna die! You're gonna die! You're… 881 00:45:36,084 --> 00:45:38,168 [slow rumbling] 882 00:45:46,334 --> 00:45:49,751 [reporter on TV] It started with a photo many thought was an armpit 883 00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:52,501 or the chin of a man with a strange beard. 884 00:45:52,584 --> 00:45:54,876 But what's emerging now is a scandal… 885 00:45:54,959 --> 00:45:57,876 {\an8}President Orlean sent her Supreme Court nominee 886 00:45:57,959 --> 00:46:00,626 {\an8}a cell phone picture of her private parts. 887 00:46:00,709 --> 00:46:02,751 -Holy crap! -[woman] It's clickbait material. 888 00:46:02,834 --> 00:46:05,293 Is this what you want in your country as a leader? 889 00:46:05,376 --> 00:46:07,751 Isn't she the same person who told poor people 890 00:46:07,834 --> 00:46:11,876 that if they don't wanna be poor, they should pick better lottery numbers? 891 00:46:11,959 --> 00:46:13,001 She actually said that. 892 00:46:13,084 --> 00:46:14,584 {\an8}A source also confirmed to me that 893 00:46:14,668 --> 00:46:16,793 {\an8}the two have been having an affair for years. 894 00:46:16,876 --> 00:46:18,459 And as recently as yesterday… 895 00:46:18,543 --> 00:46:22,626 Members of my party are currently drawing up a formal censure 896 00:46:22,709 --> 00:46:23,668 of the president, 897 00:46:24,626 --> 00:46:25,543 Janie Orlean… 898 00:46:25,626 --> 00:46:26,959 [Mindy] Oh, my God, honey. 899 00:46:27,043 --> 00:46:29,834 This guy doesn't even know what a heliocentric orbit is, 900 00:46:29,918 --> 00:46:32,668 and he's calling me a crackpot. [chuckles] 901 00:46:32,751 --> 00:46:33,751 He says that, 902 00:46:34,584 --> 00:46:38,209 "Jewish billionaires invented this comet threat 903 00:46:38,293 --> 00:46:42,168 so the government can confiscate our liberty and our guns." 904 00:46:42,251 --> 00:46:45,543 "#DontBeScared." Unbelievable. 905 00:46:46,251 --> 00:46:47,084 My God. 906 00:46:47,168 --> 00:46:49,084 You've been on that site a lot lately. 907 00:46:49,668 --> 00:46:54,876 Yeah. I mean, I… I have, like, a quarter million subscribers, honey. 908 00:46:54,959 --> 00:46:57,918 I gotta use my voice to get the truth out there, right? 909 00:46:58,876 --> 00:47:01,959 I'm, uh, going for a walk if you wanna come. 910 00:47:05,251 --> 00:47:07,793 [Mindy] It is called the scientific method… 911 00:47:07,876 --> 00:47:08,709 [doorbell rings] 912 00:47:08,793 --> 00:47:11,709 …and it is what created the computer 913 00:47:11,793 --> 00:47:16,709 that you are typing your half-witted conspiracy theories on. 914 00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:19,751 What do you think about that? 915 00:47:20,793 --> 00:47:22,001 [Mrs. Mindy] Randall? 916 00:47:22,793 --> 00:47:25,293 -Yeah, honey? -Someone's here to see you. 917 00:47:25,959 --> 00:47:28,126 Who? Oh, boy. 918 00:47:31,459 --> 00:47:32,543 Oh, my gosh. 919 00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,501 Oh, God, right. Okay. 920 00:47:36,584 --> 00:47:37,418 Right. 921 00:47:37,918 --> 00:47:39,209 Are you Dr. Randall Mindy? 922 00:47:39,293 --> 00:47:40,459 [Mindy] Yes, sir. I am. 923 00:47:40,543 --> 00:47:41,751 [pensive music playing] 924 00:47:41,834 --> 00:47:43,876 [woman mockingly] "We're all gonna die." 925 00:47:43,959 --> 00:47:45,751 Fuck off, please. 926 00:47:48,793 --> 00:47:52,001 FBI! Freeze! Get on your knees right now! Get on your knees! 927 00:47:52,751 --> 00:47:55,543 You're under arrest for breach of national security secrets. 928 00:47:55,626 --> 00:47:56,501 Jesus Christ! 929 00:47:56,584 --> 00:48:00,168 You could've just called me or showed up to my apartment. 930 00:48:01,251 --> 00:48:03,251 What are you, dressed up as a blind guy? 931 00:48:03,334 --> 00:48:05,626 [siren blaring] 932 00:48:05,709 --> 00:48:08,626 -[agent] Get on the ground! -Okay. Now be cool. 933 00:48:09,584 --> 00:48:12,126 I just have more skin pigmentation than you. 934 00:48:12,209 --> 00:48:15,126 'Cause your ancestors migrated to Northern Europe 935 00:48:15,209 --> 00:48:17,293 and developed lighter skin so as to not get… 936 00:48:19,543 --> 00:48:23,001 [Kate] Unless you assholes are taking me to the Batcave, 937 00:48:23,084 --> 00:48:24,834 fuck you for putting this hood on me. 938 00:48:27,043 --> 00:48:29,584 Watch out for him. He'll charge you for free shit. 939 00:48:30,251 --> 00:48:32,626 [whispers] What's he doing here? Is he here for us? 940 00:48:33,293 --> 00:48:34,668 Gentlemen, you can come in. 941 00:48:39,251 --> 00:48:41,584 [Orlean chuckles] I think it was Winston Churchill who… 942 00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:47,543 Or maybe it was Bobby Knight who said, "The great labor of leadership 943 00:48:47,626 --> 00:48:51,126 is to lay down one's yoke of pride 944 00:48:51,876 --> 00:48:54,834 and admit that mistakes were made." 945 00:48:54,918 --> 00:48:58,084 [Jason] You were deceived, as was I, but the end result was, 946 00:48:58,168 --> 00:49:01,834 we had our scientists who went to, uh, the prestigious schools of Harvard, 947 00:49:01,918 --> 00:49:03,043 Princeton, et cetera. 948 00:49:03,543 --> 00:49:08,459 They confirmed the data. So we would like to offer you a… 949 00:49:09,959 --> 00:49:12,043 presidential apology. 950 00:49:12,126 --> 00:49:13,043 Really? 951 00:49:13,793 --> 00:49:16,668 And we are fully prepared to mobilize 952 00:49:16,751 --> 00:49:19,626 in historic fashion in order to save this planet. 953 00:49:19,709 --> 00:49:21,626 [laughing] 954 00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:23,918 [man] The best news we've heard in a long time. 955 00:49:24,001 --> 00:49:27,584 So, basically, what you're saying is 956 00:49:27,668 --> 00:49:31,501 you're about to lose the midterms 'cause you got caught 957 00:49:31,584 --> 00:49:35,668 sending pictures of your cooch to your porn-star sheriff boyfriend. 958 00:49:35,751 --> 00:49:39,668 So now it's to your advantage to act on the comet? 959 00:49:41,584 --> 00:49:42,751 Right. 960 00:49:42,834 --> 00:49:44,084 [Kate] Okay. 961 00:49:44,709 --> 00:49:46,043 [chuckling] Okay. I'm just… 962 00:49:47,834 --> 00:49:51,084 [sighs] God, I'm so relieved that you guys are doing something. 963 00:49:51,168 --> 00:49:54,751 -Hey, come on. Hey. -This has been really… 964 00:49:54,834 --> 00:49:57,001 -[crying] Really, really hard. -Come here. 965 00:49:57,084 --> 00:50:00,209 This has been really, really, really stressful on all of us. 966 00:50:00,293 --> 00:50:01,334 Yes, I will agree. 967 00:50:01,418 --> 00:50:03,626 This will take some heavy weight off all of us-- 968 00:50:03,709 --> 00:50:06,626 [laughing] Sorry, you just look so bad when you cry. 969 00:50:06,709 --> 00:50:08,501 [Orlean] Maybe, possibly. 970 00:50:08,584 --> 00:50:10,501 People are gonna ask why we didn't act earlier. 971 00:50:10,584 --> 00:50:13,001 So you're gonna have to take the hit on this one. 972 00:50:13,084 --> 00:50:16,126 Yeah, but we'll take care of you down the road, Jocelyn. 973 00:50:16,793 --> 00:50:18,418 -We will. -Of course, Janie. 974 00:50:19,043 --> 00:50:21,543 I will resign in disgrace first thing tomorrow. 975 00:50:21,626 --> 00:50:24,334 -[Orlean] Good. Yeah, good. -That's weird as hell. 976 00:50:24,418 --> 00:50:26,501 [whispers] She's an anesthesiologist. 977 00:50:26,584 --> 00:50:29,584 I'm going to make a statement, 978 00:50:29,668 --> 00:50:32,209 presidential statement to the American people. 979 00:50:32,293 --> 00:50:35,084 And we're not gonna tell the press about it ahead of time 980 00:50:35,168 --> 00:50:37,959 because that way it will have the appearance 981 00:50:38,043 --> 00:50:39,709 of a breaking emergency sort of… 982 00:50:39,793 --> 00:50:42,209 [woman on TV] Good things come to those who wait. 983 00:50:42,293 --> 00:50:44,209 -[device chimes on TV] -[woman on TV] See? 984 00:50:44,293 --> 00:50:45,418 [man on TV] Whoo! 985 00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:47,168 Oh, my God! 986 00:50:47,251 --> 00:50:48,709 [cheers and applause on TV] 987 00:50:48,793 --> 00:50:50,084 [rhythmic music playing on TV] 988 00:50:50,168 --> 00:50:53,209 [man on TV] We interrupt this broadcast of Jackpot Fiancé 989 00:50:53,293 --> 00:50:56,543 for an emergency message from the president of the United States. 990 00:50:59,959 --> 00:51:02,918 Citizens of the United States and peoples of the world, 991 00:51:03,501 --> 00:51:04,834 I have just been handed 992 00:51:04,918 --> 00:51:09,043 scientific findings that confirm a worst-case scenario. 993 00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:14,876 An unprecedented comet, nine kilometers wide, 994 00:51:14,959 --> 00:51:21,376 is now on a direct collision course with our cherished home, planet Earth. 995 00:51:21,459 --> 00:51:24,709 {\an8}Estimated time of arrival is approximately five months from now. 996 00:51:24,793 --> 00:51:25,709 {\an8}So we have… 997 00:51:25,793 --> 00:51:28,001 We've drawn up a massive Congressional spending bill… 998 00:51:28,084 --> 00:51:31,834 I have already put together an emergency spending package for Congress… 999 00:51:31,918 --> 00:51:34,126 [Jason] …that the Senate and the House have agreed upon. 1000 00:51:34,209 --> 00:51:35,043 That's good to hear. 1001 00:51:35,126 --> 00:51:39,209 And that will enable NASA and our great military 1002 00:51:39,293 --> 00:51:41,126 to launch a preemptive strike, 1003 00:51:42,584 --> 00:51:46,293 using decommissioned space shuttles and satellites 1004 00:51:46,376 --> 00:51:49,084 loaded with nuclear explosives. 1005 00:51:49,168 --> 00:51:53,376 We will blow Comet Dibiasky off her course… 1006 00:51:53,459 --> 00:51:55,501 But we're gonna need a hero. 1007 00:51:55,584 --> 00:51:58,834 We're gonna need a pilot, real guns and… 1008 00:51:58,918 --> 00:52:02,293 Shouldn't this mission be accomplished using remote technology? 1009 00:52:02,376 --> 00:52:04,584 Washington's always gotta have a hero. 1010 00:52:04,668 --> 00:52:06,043 I have asked 1011 00:52:07,043 --> 00:52:13,043 Medal of Freedom recipient and outspoken patriot, Benedict Drask, 1012 00:52:13,126 --> 00:52:16,293 to undertake this difficult and… 1013 00:52:16,376 --> 00:52:19,001 [Mindy] I'm sorry. Isn't he the mercenary gentleman 1014 00:52:19,084 --> 00:52:22,459 that was screaming at all those children on the White House lawn? 1015 00:52:22,543 --> 00:52:25,959 [Orlean] Yeah. He was given the honor of leading 1016 00:52:26,043 --> 00:52:29,376 the presidential initiative in getting kids to exercise. 1017 00:52:29,459 --> 00:52:31,293 Get a little air into it, you lard-ass… 1018 00:52:32,043 --> 00:52:34,376 You look like a goddamn bunch of pussies. 1019 00:52:34,459 --> 00:52:36,709 -[Mindy] I'm sorry. -He's just of another generation. 1020 00:52:36,793 --> 00:52:38,126 You know, I used to date him. 1021 00:52:38,209 --> 00:52:41,418 Know what happened to the last pussy I worked with in combat? 1022 00:52:41,501 --> 00:52:43,293 You ever see inside a man's torso? 1023 00:52:43,376 --> 00:52:44,959 [cheers and applause] 1024 00:52:47,459 --> 00:52:49,584 Benedict Drask reporting for duty. 1025 00:52:51,751 --> 00:52:53,834 -Thank you for the… -He's gonna be fantastic. 1026 00:52:53,918 --> 00:52:55,501 {\an8}He's got a great voice. 1027 00:52:55,584 --> 00:52:58,209 -We're gonna let him make a statement. {\an8}-Some are saying this is a… 1028 00:52:58,293 --> 00:52:59,668 He's got a great body too. 1029 00:52:59,751 --> 00:53:01,293 -[Calder] He does. -[Orlean] Yeah. 1030 00:53:01,376 --> 00:53:03,001 …suicide mission. 1031 00:53:03,084 --> 00:53:04,501 Well, all I ask is, 1032 00:53:05,584 --> 00:53:06,918 if I get snuffed, 1033 00:53:08,084 --> 00:53:11,501 that you all earn the extra living my sacrifice gives you. 1034 00:53:11,584 --> 00:53:14,043 The extra living my sacrifice gives them. [gasps] 1035 00:53:14,668 --> 00:53:16,543 {\an8}-Right? -I wrote that. 1036 00:53:16,626 --> 00:53:18,751 Isn't that from Saving Private Ryan? 1037 00:53:18,834 --> 00:53:21,751 -Yes. -No, that's something totally different. 1038 00:53:21,834 --> 00:53:25,543 And special thanks should also go to this team of scientists behind me… 1039 00:53:25,626 --> 00:53:28,293 [Orlean] We're gonna need everybody's help on this. 1040 00:53:28,376 --> 00:53:30,251 Everybody. 1041 00:53:30,334 --> 00:53:33,959 All have to pitch in and push out this message. 1042 00:53:34,043 --> 00:53:35,501 …African-American scientist. 1043 00:53:35,584 --> 00:53:37,168 Miss Dibiasky, she… 1044 00:53:37,251 --> 00:53:40,626 And we have Kate Dibiasky, who the comet is named after, 1045 00:53:40,709 --> 00:53:42,501 but don't blame her. 1046 00:53:42,584 --> 00:53:46,209 …connects with the disaffected youth and the mentally ill. 1047 00:53:46,293 --> 00:53:48,168 -And other marginal groups. -Thank you. 1048 00:53:48,251 --> 00:53:51,543 -[Oglethorpe] We'll do whatever we can. -As long as you do the right thing. 1049 00:53:51,626 --> 00:53:52,959 We're there for you. 1050 00:53:53,043 --> 00:53:56,293 Especially you, Dr. Mindy, because you poll so much higher 1051 00:53:56,376 --> 00:53:58,709 than your colleagues. It's wild. [laughing] 1052 00:53:58,793 --> 00:54:04,293 He will help us destroy our common enemy, Dibiasky. 1053 00:54:04,918 --> 00:54:07,084 Wonderful. Well, I think we're done. 1054 00:54:07,168 --> 00:54:08,709 [Jason] Yep, okay. Let's go. 1055 00:54:08,793 --> 00:54:10,334 [Kate] Can I say something? 1056 00:54:10,418 --> 00:54:12,626 We've been dying to hear what you gotta say. 1057 00:54:13,293 --> 00:54:14,418 I didn't vote for you. 1058 00:54:16,584 --> 00:54:22,751 But this is obviously much bigger than my misgivings. 1059 00:54:22,834 --> 00:54:27,168 So I will be 100% behind this effort. 1060 00:54:28,043 --> 00:54:31,834 No matter how offensive I may find you. 1061 00:54:31,918 --> 00:54:34,418 Hmm. Wow. That's great. 1062 00:54:34,501 --> 00:54:36,334 [Jason] Yeah. That's really nice. 1063 00:54:36,418 --> 00:54:39,251 You know, I did have the FBI put that bag over your head. 1064 00:54:39,334 --> 00:54:42,334 They don't do that. The CIA does, but I made them do it. 1065 00:54:42,418 --> 00:54:45,126 You know, I had a feeling. I really did. 1066 00:54:46,001 --> 00:54:48,459 It's a good feeling 'cause that is what I did. 1067 00:54:48,543 --> 00:54:51,334 -And it was very funny and cool. [laughs] -[Orlean] Okay. 1068 00:54:51,418 --> 00:54:55,501 May Jesus Christ bless every single one of you, 1069 00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:59,376 especially the honorable members of my own party. 1070 00:55:00,043 --> 00:55:01,168 We will prevail. 1071 00:55:01,251 --> 00:55:02,334 [cheers and applause] 1072 00:55:02,418 --> 00:55:04,501 ["The Battle Hymn of the Republic" plays] 1073 00:55:07,918 --> 00:55:09,251 [fireworks exploding] 1074 00:55:31,751 --> 00:55:35,251 -We're all gonna die! -[upbeat jazz music plays] 1075 00:55:35,334 --> 00:55:38,126 Guys, this comet is seriously stressing me out. 1076 00:55:38,209 --> 00:55:40,293 Well, it's coming. People gotta dig in. 1077 00:55:40,376 --> 00:55:42,751 I already got buyers for these shovels on e-market. 1078 00:55:42,834 --> 00:55:46,876 Clean sweep for President Orlean in these midterm elections. 1079 00:55:46,959 --> 00:55:49,293 -[woman 1] …how hot he is. -Thousand bucks a pop. 1080 00:55:49,376 --> 00:55:50,959 [overlapping voices] 1081 00:55:53,418 --> 00:55:56,959 …discharge the duties on which I am about to enter. 1082 00:55:57,043 --> 00:55:58,126 "So help you God." 1083 00:55:58,209 --> 00:56:00,459 -So help me God. -Congratulations. 1084 00:56:01,751 --> 00:56:05,501 [woman 2] We have talk of {\an8}a Nobel Peace Prize in the offing. 1085 00:56:05,584 --> 00:56:08,876 -[man] He's not hot. -[upbeat jazz music continues] 1086 00:56:23,793 --> 00:56:25,084 Hello, Sammy. 1087 00:56:25,168 --> 00:56:28,459 [laughing] Are you really a doctor? 1088 00:56:28,543 --> 00:56:31,793 Well, sort of. I'm an astronomer. 1089 00:56:31,876 --> 00:56:35,876 Oh. What is an astronomer? 1090 00:56:35,959 --> 00:56:38,751 [Jack] Dr. Mindy, there is a lot of fear out there, 1091 00:56:38,834 --> 00:56:40,584 uh, in America, around the world. 1092 00:56:40,668 --> 00:56:42,751 Parents don't know what to say to their kids. 1093 00:56:42,834 --> 00:56:45,334 What would you say to them to help them understand? 1094 00:56:45,418 --> 00:56:48,834 [clicks tongue] Well, I'm sure many of us are frightened right now. 1095 00:56:49,501 --> 00:56:55,751 But I can assure you, our best and our brightest, they're on the job. 1096 00:56:56,293 --> 00:57:00,501 I've seen the science on this plan and it is sound. 1097 00:57:00,584 --> 00:57:05,251 I know your words are a great comfort to all our viewers, Dr. Randall, 1098 00:57:05,334 --> 00:57:09,459 and we thank you for your courage and your service. 1099 00:57:09,543 --> 00:57:11,209 I'd just like to say 1100 00:57:11,834 --> 00:57:16,584 that whenever I feel afraid or alone in this, I… 1101 00:57:17,876 --> 00:57:21,043 I think of you and I just… I feel better. 1102 00:57:21,126 --> 00:57:22,418 So thank you. 1103 00:57:23,043 --> 00:57:24,418 That's my job. 1104 00:57:24,501 --> 00:57:26,209 [music continues playing] 1105 00:57:35,501 --> 00:57:37,626 -Tell me we're all gonna die. -What? 1106 00:57:37,709 --> 00:57:39,043 [both breathing heavily] 1107 00:57:39,126 --> 00:57:39,959 [grunting] 1108 00:57:40,043 --> 00:57:42,543 -Tell me we're all gonna die, do it. -We're all gonna die. 1109 00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:43,751 -[moans] -Oh, boy. 1110 00:57:43,834 --> 00:57:47,418 [man on TV] So, these two Marxists wave around the word "science" 1111 00:57:47,501 --> 00:57:49,626 and we're all supposed to do whatever they say? 1112 00:57:49,709 --> 00:57:52,334 Yeah, how do we know there even is a comet? 1113 00:57:52,418 --> 00:57:56,168 Mr. Pawketty, Congressman, this data has been proven 1114 00:57:56,251 --> 00:58:00,501 and has been peer-reviewed by hundreds of world-renowned scientists. 1115 00:58:00,584 --> 00:58:04,584 And we're supposed to trust you? The comet's got your name. 1116 00:58:06,001 --> 00:58:07,959 I don't… I don't see the relevancy. 1117 00:58:08,043 --> 00:58:09,834 [Pawketty] Why won't you answer the question? 1118 00:58:09,918 --> 00:58:11,959 -Answer the question. -What's the question? 1119 00:58:12,043 --> 00:58:13,168 Grow up here, okay? 1120 00:58:13,251 --> 00:58:14,459 This is ridiculous. 1121 00:58:16,459 --> 00:58:20,459 I've just realized, we don't really know anything about each other. Do we? 1122 00:58:21,043 --> 00:58:22,084 [chuckles] 1123 00:58:22,168 --> 00:58:23,126 True. 1124 00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:27,709 Well, every time I try to ask you about your life, 1125 00:58:27,793 --> 00:58:31,459 you seem to just tell me about your favorite restaurants. 1126 00:58:32,418 --> 00:58:33,584 Well, I… You know… 1127 00:58:34,293 --> 00:58:36,084 I just despise the, you know, 1128 00:58:36,168 --> 00:58:38,334 getting-to-know-you part of relationships, so… 1129 00:58:39,001 --> 00:58:41,043 Oh, okay. I understand. 1130 00:58:43,043 --> 00:58:45,251 Okay, let's just get it over and done with. 1131 00:58:47,751 --> 00:58:48,959 Okay, uh… 1132 00:58:50,001 --> 00:58:51,751 Right, so, uh… 1133 00:58:52,418 --> 00:58:56,876 My grandfather invented the flash-freezing process. 1134 00:58:56,959 --> 00:58:59,209 So I come from grotesque money, 1135 00:58:59,293 --> 00:59:03,543 but I got away from it by getting three masters degrees. 1136 00:59:04,334 --> 00:59:07,168 Uh, I've been divorced twice. 1137 00:59:07,251 --> 00:59:13,751 Uh, one was a Secretary of State, and the other one was a sport fisherman. 1138 00:59:13,834 --> 00:59:19,709 Uh, I have slept with two former presidents. 1139 00:59:19,793 --> 00:59:24,626 I speak four languages, and I own two Monets. 1140 00:59:26,334 --> 00:59:27,168 Wow. 1141 00:59:27,793 --> 00:59:30,001 Two former presidents. Wow. 1142 00:59:32,001 --> 00:59:33,918 -What, my turn? -[chuckles] Yeah. 1143 00:59:34,001 --> 00:59:40,293 Oh. All right. My father was a middle school geography teacher. 1144 00:59:40,376 --> 00:59:43,626 My mother, she cut hair out of the kitchen. 1145 00:59:43,709 --> 00:59:47,543 Uh, about two years ago, our family dog, JoJo, died, 1146 00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,626 which was really, really emotional. 1147 00:59:49,709 --> 00:59:53,084 I can't remember crying that much ever. 1148 00:59:54,626 --> 00:59:55,584 And, um… 1149 00:59:57,293 --> 01:00:02,584 I finally got my, uh, Star Wars poster signed by Mark Hamill. 1150 01:00:02,668 --> 01:00:04,751 It's in the garage. It's… So, yeah. 1151 01:00:05,626 --> 01:00:07,709 Okay, good. 1152 01:00:08,251 --> 01:00:09,084 [chuckles] 1153 01:00:10,001 --> 01:00:11,001 That's done. 1154 01:00:11,501 --> 01:00:12,459 [Mindy] Ah… 1155 01:00:15,709 --> 01:00:18,001 Where are we gonna go for dinner tonight? 1156 01:00:18,084 --> 01:00:19,584 [jet engines roaring] 1157 01:00:22,959 --> 01:00:25,126 [people cheering] 1158 01:00:26,376 --> 01:00:28,959 The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. 1159 01:00:29,043 --> 01:00:31,793 {\an8}He makes me to lie down in green pastures. 1160 01:00:31,876 --> 01:00:36,126 {\an8}He leads me beside the quiet waters. He restores my soul. 1161 01:00:36,209 --> 01:00:39,626 Not since D-Day have we seen such a mass mobilization 1162 01:00:39,709 --> 01:00:43,459 of unions and resources for such a noble task. 1163 01:00:44,084 --> 01:00:46,959 One cannot help but be moved by the bravery, ingenuity, 1164 01:00:47,043 --> 01:00:49,126 and sacrifice on display here. 1165 01:00:49,209 --> 01:00:51,209 [overlapping reporters chattering] 1166 01:01:02,501 --> 01:01:04,376 [indistinct chatter on video] 1167 01:01:09,584 --> 01:01:12,168 Okay, here we go, everyone. Let's stay sharp. 1168 01:01:14,084 --> 01:01:17,459 [whispers] I just want you to know, this is the most propulsive thing 1169 01:01:17,543 --> 01:01:20,084 that's ever happened to me. Thank you. 1170 01:01:29,459 --> 01:01:31,293 [indistinct chatter on TV] 1171 01:01:33,376 --> 01:01:36,584 What's the holdup, you guys? What are you waiting on? 1172 01:01:37,543 --> 01:01:40,668 Come on, motherfuckers, let's light this fucking firecracker, huh? 1173 01:01:41,209 --> 01:01:42,584 Think I got all day? 1174 01:01:42,668 --> 01:01:47,251 Commander Drask, this is your president speaking. 1175 01:01:48,501 --> 01:01:50,376 Your nation thanks you. 1176 01:01:51,126 --> 01:01:52,751 Your planet thanks you. 1177 01:01:53,459 --> 01:01:55,918 And God and I thank you. 1178 01:01:56,626 --> 01:01:59,251 [Drask] Listen, the only thanks I need is a shot of Jack Daniels. 1179 01:01:59,334 --> 01:02:03,251 -[laughter] -And a couple DUIs to magically go away. 1180 01:02:03,334 --> 01:02:05,043 [laughing] 1181 01:02:05,126 --> 01:02:08,959 This is Mission Control. All indicators are coming up green. 1182 01:02:09,043 --> 01:02:11,459 This is a final warning to control the launchpad. 1183 01:02:11,543 --> 01:02:17,251 Your discovery led to this mission and our chance to save Earth. 1184 01:02:18,418 --> 01:02:19,709 I give you… 1185 01:02:22,084 --> 01:02:23,084 the honor. 1186 01:02:28,501 --> 01:02:29,501 Thank you. 1187 01:02:31,709 --> 01:02:35,001 [clears throat] Thank you, Madam President. 1188 01:02:35,084 --> 01:02:36,418 [camera shutter clicking] 1189 01:02:36,501 --> 01:02:38,876 Citizens of planet Earth, 1190 01:02:39,918 --> 01:02:43,084 everything is theoretically impossible 1191 01:02:43,751 --> 01:02:45,168 until it is done. 1192 01:02:46,293 --> 01:02:47,584 And with that, 1193 01:02:47,668 --> 01:02:49,793 we are go for launch. 1194 01:02:49,876 --> 01:02:50,751 Yes. 1195 01:02:50,834 --> 01:02:52,501 -[Jason] That's fire. -Thank you. 1196 01:02:52,584 --> 01:02:53,584 [Jason] It was lit. 1197 01:02:53,668 --> 01:02:55,793 [applause fades] 1198 01:02:55,876 --> 01:02:58,126 [Peter] Hey, everyone, mind if I join? 1199 01:02:59,168 --> 01:03:01,043 -Hello. -[Orlean] Hello, Peter. Hi. 1200 01:03:01,126 --> 01:03:04,751 Hi. Oh, Brie, you look fabulous. 1201 01:03:04,834 --> 01:03:05,834 As always. 1202 01:03:07,001 --> 01:03:08,376 Is he allowed to be in here? 1203 01:03:08,459 --> 01:03:12,334 Yeah, he's a Platinum Eagle level donor to the campaign. He has full clearance. 1204 01:03:12,418 --> 01:03:14,043 [man on radio] Launch mission array. 1205 01:03:14,126 --> 01:03:17,668 [sighs] Molly kicking in right now. Timed that shit perfect. 1206 01:03:17,751 --> 01:03:20,709 Ten, nine, eight… 1207 01:03:20,793 --> 01:03:24,834 -seven, six, five, four… -[all cheering] 1208 01:03:24,918 --> 01:03:26,168 Three… 1209 01:03:26,251 --> 01:03:27,626 -[barking] -Ah… 1210 01:03:32,459 --> 01:03:34,834 [indistinct chatter] 1211 01:03:34,918 --> 01:03:37,918 [soaring choral music playing] 1212 01:03:40,584 --> 01:03:41,793 Thank God! 1213 01:04:00,126 --> 01:04:03,584 [Drask] ♪ Oh, Susannah Don't you cry for me ♪ 1214 01:04:03,668 --> 01:04:08,001 ♪ I come from Alabama With a banjo on my knee, hey! ♪ 1215 01:04:08,084 --> 01:04:09,584 [camera shutters clicking] 1216 01:04:09,668 --> 01:04:11,626 [Oglethorpe] We didn't lose any satellites. 1217 01:04:11,709 --> 01:04:14,959 Margin of error was for two to malfunction. 1218 01:04:15,043 --> 01:04:19,209 Hey, Madam President, may I have a word with you outside for a moment, please? 1219 01:04:19,834 --> 01:04:20,959 Oh, my God. 1220 01:04:21,043 --> 01:04:23,834 Mission success probability is already increased to 81%. 1221 01:04:23,918 --> 01:04:25,918 [man] Outstanding. 1222 01:04:26,626 --> 01:04:27,793 -[Peter] Janie, now! -[gasps] 1223 01:04:27,876 --> 01:04:30,626 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 1224 01:04:30,709 --> 01:04:32,293 Peter, I didn't mean… 1225 01:04:36,543 --> 01:04:41,751 [Drask] And a big hello to that beautiful blue ball down there we all call home. 1226 01:04:42,251 --> 01:04:45,668 All those proud white folks working hard. 1227 01:04:46,168 --> 01:04:47,126 God bless you. 1228 01:04:47,918 --> 01:04:50,168 Just a different generation. Yeah. 1229 01:04:50,834 --> 01:04:53,709 I also wanna say hello to all the Indians out there. 1230 01:04:53,793 --> 01:04:54,876 Both kinds. 1231 01:04:54,959 --> 01:04:59,084 You know, the ones with the elephants and the ones with the bow and arrows. 1232 01:04:59,751 --> 01:05:01,543 Hey, why haven't you guys ever teamed up? 1233 01:05:01,626 --> 01:05:03,501 [chuckles] How cool would that be, huh? 1234 01:05:03,584 --> 01:05:05,501 I wanna say hello to all the gays out there. 1235 01:05:05,584 --> 01:05:07,918 -Commander, booster ejection is imminent. -Huh? 1236 01:05:08,001 --> 01:05:10,251 -Let's keep comm on mission. -Oh. Roger that. 1237 01:05:10,751 --> 01:05:12,668 [soaring music continues] 1238 01:05:20,793 --> 01:05:22,709 [man on radio] Separation confirmed. 1239 01:05:22,793 --> 01:05:24,543 -Separation confirmed. -Whoo! 1240 01:05:25,209 --> 01:05:27,584 [speaking French] 1241 01:05:29,126 --> 01:05:30,209 Was that French? 1242 01:05:31,501 --> 01:05:37,043 Yes, it is. It means, "the angels soar to the heavens." It's, um… 1243 01:05:38,376 --> 01:05:42,501 It's from a 14th-century poem I studied in Dartmouth. 1244 01:05:42,584 --> 01:05:45,918 And just watching this, it just made me think of it, 1245 01:05:47,043 --> 01:05:48,459 and think of you. 1246 01:05:49,543 --> 01:05:50,543 God, I can't… 1247 01:05:51,418 --> 01:05:52,376 Can't… 1248 01:05:53,126 --> 01:05:56,001 [upbeat tense music playing] 1249 01:06:01,626 --> 01:06:04,168 [men chanting] {\an8}Go! Go! Go! 1250 01:06:04,251 --> 01:06:05,751 {\an8}-[groans] -[laughter] 1251 01:06:05,834 --> 01:06:08,709 I think I probably should go to the{\an8} [bleep] hospital and see what they… 1252 01:06:08,793 --> 01:06:10,751 [people on video] {\an8}Launch challenge! 1253 01:06:10,834 --> 01:06:13,709 [people chanting on video] {\an8}Go! Go! Go! 1254 01:06:17,501 --> 01:06:19,626 Everyone, I have just received 1255 01:06:19,709 --> 01:06:23,459 some critical information concerning our mission. 1256 01:06:23,543 --> 01:06:25,251 [people clamoring] 1257 01:06:32,668 --> 01:06:34,334 Looks like it's turning around. 1258 01:06:37,168 --> 01:06:40,293 No, it's not. It's a course correction. 1259 01:06:40,376 --> 01:06:41,918 It's pretty standard. 1260 01:06:42,001 --> 01:06:43,459 I was in the Navy. 1261 01:06:45,126 --> 01:06:47,418 Nope. It's turning around. 1262 01:06:47,501 --> 01:06:51,209 [reporter] Seems to be some confusion here amongst the crowd, 1263 01:06:51,293 --> 01:06:52,918 but I'm not gonna lie to you. 1264 01:06:53,001 --> 01:06:55,959 This reporter is at a loss for words right now. 1265 01:06:56,043 --> 01:06:59,251 It's definitely turning around. 1266 01:06:59,334 --> 01:07:01,459 I'm looking straight at it. 1267 01:07:01,543 --> 01:07:05,543 Drask's ship is definitely turning around. 1268 01:07:07,959 --> 01:07:10,334 Does anyone know what the fuck just happened? 1269 01:07:16,251 --> 01:07:17,626 It's still locked. 1270 01:07:17,709 --> 01:07:20,418 I just don't… I don't understand what could've happened. 1271 01:07:20,501 --> 01:07:23,293 I mean, the mission was working, right? Everything was on track. 1272 01:07:23,376 --> 01:07:26,209 Yeah. I mean, it could've been anything, uh… 1273 01:07:26,293 --> 01:07:32,001 Guidance system could've malfunctioned, uh, nuke destabilized, myriad of things. 1274 01:07:32,626 --> 01:07:35,668 Who was that guy that walked into the Situation Room? He looked familiar. 1275 01:07:35,751 --> 01:07:42,126 That was Peter Isherwell, CEO of BASH, and the third richest human ever. 1276 01:07:42,209 --> 01:07:46,168 He's the guy that, uh, bought the Gutenberg Bible and lost it. 1277 01:07:46,251 --> 01:07:47,376 [door opens] 1278 01:07:47,459 --> 01:07:48,959 [Jason] Sorry to keep you waiting. 1279 01:07:49,043 --> 01:07:51,876 Things are, uh, extremely fluid. 1280 01:07:53,334 --> 01:07:56,959 Dr. Randall, you are now the Chief Science Advisor to the White House. 1281 01:07:57,043 --> 01:07:57,876 What? 1282 01:07:57,959 --> 01:08:00,709 As such, you need to attend an emergency Cabinet meeting 1283 01:08:00,793 --> 01:08:02,043 where you will be debriefed. 1284 01:08:02,126 --> 01:08:03,126 What about us? 1285 01:08:03,709 --> 01:08:06,209 You do not have clearance for this, sweetheart. Don't trip. 1286 01:08:06,293 --> 01:08:09,043 Got you some crackers, some waters. 1287 01:08:09,126 --> 01:08:10,793 You don't need to throw it on the floor. 1288 01:08:10,876 --> 01:08:12,418 Gonna be three, four hours, tops. 1289 01:08:12,501 --> 01:08:15,626 Here, Kate. I don't know why he threw 'em down. Here. 1290 01:08:15,709 --> 01:08:17,793 What if we have to go to the bathroom? 1291 01:08:17,876 --> 01:08:21,293 We'll lay out some newspaper for you. Grab you a can of Febreze. 1292 01:08:21,376 --> 01:08:23,251 [Oglethorpe] Short, sweet and simple science. 1293 01:08:23,334 --> 01:08:25,001 I'll be back. All right. Come on. 1294 01:08:25,084 --> 01:08:27,126 [Oglethorpe] Science tells the truth, Randall. 1295 01:08:27,876 --> 01:08:28,834 [sighs] 1296 01:08:28,918 --> 01:08:30,543 Fuck. Do you wanna come? 1297 01:08:30,626 --> 01:08:31,543 Yeah. 1298 01:08:33,668 --> 01:08:35,668 [Orlean] Ladies and gentlemen, what we thought, 1299 01:08:35,751 --> 01:08:40,751 what the world thought was an impending and terrifying danger, 1300 01:08:41,959 --> 01:08:44,668 turns out to be an astonishing opportunity. 1301 01:08:44,751 --> 01:08:47,209 Our allies are very confused and demanding answers-- 1302 01:08:47,293 --> 01:08:48,584 Well, tell 'em to wait. 1303 01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:54,709 According to the most recent spectrometer readings of Comet Dibiasky, 1304 01:08:54,793 --> 01:08:57,876 made by the astrogeologists at BASH Cellular, 1305 01:08:59,626 --> 01:09:01,334 we've discovered something. 1306 01:09:02,293 --> 01:09:05,043 Something truly miraculous. 1307 01:09:06,501 --> 01:09:08,168 Peter. Peter? 1308 01:09:08,251 --> 01:09:10,043 -Oh, thank you, Janie. -[chuckles] 1309 01:09:12,251 --> 01:09:14,751 As, uh… As some of you may know, 1310 01:09:14,834 --> 01:09:17,584 the most valuable minerals in the world 1311 01:09:17,668 --> 01:09:19,793 are fast becoming those that are deployed 1312 01:09:19,876 --> 01:09:24,043 in the manufacture of cell phones and, uh, computers. 1313 01:09:24,126 --> 01:09:27,626 Yttrium, terbium, osmium, dysprosium, on and on and on. 1314 01:09:27,709 --> 01:09:29,043 We're running short. 1315 01:09:29,126 --> 01:09:31,959 Uh, and the problem is exacerbated, of course, 1316 01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:37,959 because China has her big panda paw firmly on almost all the mines 1317 01:09:38,043 --> 01:09:41,543 that produce these valuable rare Earth assets. 1318 01:09:41,626 --> 01:09:43,668 So you can imagine. [laughing] 1319 01:09:43,751 --> 01:09:44,709 Wow! 1320 01:09:44,793 --> 01:09:48,584 Just how happy we were at BASH 1321 01:09:48,668 --> 01:09:52,293 when our astrogeologists discovered 1322 01:09:52,376 --> 01:09:57,043 and then determined that this comet, hurtling towards us from deep space, 1323 01:09:57,126 --> 01:10:02,876 actually contains at least $32 trillion of these critical materials. 1324 01:10:02,959 --> 01:10:04,709 Critical to technology. 1325 01:10:04,793 --> 01:10:06,001 If we're to proceed-- 1326 01:10:06,084 --> 01:10:08,584 I'm sorry. Is that why you aborted this entire mission, 1327 01:10:08,668 --> 01:10:11,584 is because you're trying to mine the comet for rare minerals? 1328 01:10:11,668 --> 01:10:13,751 [Orlean] I think we should hold all questions 1329 01:10:13,834 --> 01:10:16,501 until the end of the presentation, 1330 01:10:16,584 --> 01:10:20,168 and you might find that your questions are answered. 1331 01:10:20,709 --> 01:10:21,793 Yes, Madam President. 1332 01:10:21,876 --> 01:10:24,918 When you… When the other metals are factored in, 1333 01:10:25,001 --> 01:10:27,376 the comet actually contains 1334 01:10:27,459 --> 01:10:31,584 almost $140 trillion worth of assets. 1335 01:10:31,668 --> 01:10:32,959 [Jason] Buck-forty trilli. 1336 01:10:33,459 --> 01:10:35,334 -[Orlean] Yeah… -[laughter] 1337 01:10:35,418 --> 01:10:40,043 What do these trillions of dollars even matter if we're all gonna die-- 1338 01:10:40,126 --> 01:10:42,501 [woman] I was about to ask the same question, Janie. 1339 01:10:42,584 --> 01:10:43,709 Why weren't we consulted? 1340 01:10:43,793 --> 01:10:45,293 All due respect, Madam President… 1341 01:10:45,376 --> 01:10:47,876 Oh, no! What if we're rich and we're safe? 1342 01:10:49,043 --> 01:10:53,168 [Kate] I've gone over it again and again and again in my head 1343 01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:56,834 and I still can't make sense of it. 1344 01:10:58,793 --> 01:11:03,834 He's a three-star general. He works at the Pentagon. 1345 01:11:05,959 --> 01:11:09,043 Why would he charge us for free snacks? 1346 01:11:09,126 --> 01:11:12,793 One time, I met Sting, 1347 01:11:13,751 --> 01:11:18,334 and I swear to God, he farted right in front of me. 1348 01:11:19,376 --> 01:11:24,501 Didn't break eye contact and didn't even say "excuse me." 1349 01:11:27,543 --> 01:11:31,126 And the thing is, he actually pulled it off. [chuckles] 1350 01:11:32,418 --> 01:11:34,918 'Cause I still found him to be quite charming. 1351 01:11:35,959 --> 01:11:40,376 [whispering] Guys, we have to talk. Come on, let's go. Come on, now. 1352 01:11:41,459 --> 01:11:44,668 It's insane. Like, completely insane. 1353 01:11:44,751 --> 01:11:46,084 [Kate] It will never work. 1354 01:11:46,168 --> 01:11:48,334 I had the exact same reaction. 1355 01:11:48,418 --> 01:11:51,543 This is a nine-kilometer-wide planet-killer we're talking about, 1356 01:11:51,626 --> 01:11:53,084 not roaming charges. 1357 01:11:53,168 --> 01:11:59,084 Look, I… I was confused and outraged that they turned this mission around too, 1358 01:11:59,168 --> 01:12:01,751 but they've got Gary Talcamont from Stanford 1359 01:12:01,834 --> 01:12:04,001 and Lisa Inez from Princeton on their team. 1360 01:12:04,084 --> 01:12:07,793 I mean, this is next-generation cutting-edge technology. 1361 01:12:07,876 --> 01:12:14,668 Obviously, one giant comet is a major and existential, uh, threat to our planet, 1362 01:12:14,751 --> 01:12:20,043 but 30 smaller meteoroids, we can handle. 1363 01:12:20,959 --> 01:12:26,668 Our BEADS, that stands for BASH, uh, Explore and Acquire Drones, 1364 01:12:26,751 --> 01:12:28,126 that you see here, 1365 01:12:28,209 --> 01:12:30,876 attach themselves to the comet 1366 01:12:30,959 --> 01:12:33,418 and scan it with nanotechnology 1367 01:12:33,501 --> 01:12:36,626 developed by Nobel Prize-winning scientist, 1368 01:12:36,709 --> 01:12:37,709 Dr. Gary Talcamont. 1369 01:12:37,793 --> 01:12:40,543 And then we immediately deploy, don't we? 1370 01:12:40,626 --> 01:12:42,876 Nobel and Polonsky prize-winning scientist 1371 01:12:42,959 --> 01:12:48,293 Dr. Inez's micro-targeted, quantum fission, uh, explosives. 1372 01:12:48,376 --> 01:12:51,668 You see, deep into the object… 1373 01:12:51,751 --> 01:12:54,501 Dr. Inez, would you like to explain what's happening? 1374 01:12:54,584 --> 01:12:55,459 Thank you, Peter. 1375 01:12:55,543 --> 01:12:58,293 We've been developing phase-fission reactions 1376 01:12:58,376 --> 01:13:00,418 in the CERN particle accelerator 1377 01:13:00,501 --> 01:13:03,168 that can splinter the comet into smaller pieces 1378 01:13:03,251 --> 01:13:05,376 with breathtaking accuracy. 1379 01:13:05,459 --> 01:13:08,834 These segments are then steered and decelerated by each BEAD 1380 01:13:08,918 --> 01:13:13,668 into the Pacific Ocean for reclamation by waiting US Navy ships. 1381 01:13:13,751 --> 01:13:15,709 And when these… Thank you. 1382 01:13:15,793 --> 01:13:19,918 And when these treasures from heaven are claimed, 1383 01:13:20,001 --> 01:13:23,959 poverty as we know it, social injustice, loss of biodiversity, 1384 01:13:24,043 --> 01:13:26,751 all these multitudes of problems 1385 01:13:26,834 --> 01:13:30,168 are just gonna become relics of the past 1386 01:13:30,251 --> 01:13:35,668 and humanity is gonna stride through the Pillars of Boaz and Jachin naked 1387 01:13:35,751 --> 01:13:38,293 into the the glory of a golden age… 1388 01:13:38,376 --> 01:13:41,543 And is this nanotech work peer-reviewed? 1389 01:13:41,626 --> 01:13:45,209 Well, I haven't reviewed the data, but it's been modeled. 1390 01:13:45,293 --> 01:13:47,168 Has any of this been peer-reviewed? 1391 01:13:48,043 --> 01:13:48,876 Nope. 1392 01:13:48,959 --> 01:13:51,293 Interplanetary, interstellar, 1393 01:13:51,376 --> 01:13:56,168 intergalactic existence for the human race. 1394 01:13:56,251 --> 01:13:57,626 [applause] 1395 01:13:59,168 --> 01:14:00,959 [Orlean] Your mouth to God's ear. 1396 01:14:01,501 --> 01:14:05,084 I understand the wealth that they can extract from this comet, 1397 01:14:05,168 --> 01:14:06,334 it can end world hunger. 1398 01:14:06,418 --> 01:14:08,209 -[Oglethorpe] Oh, I see. -[Kate laughing] 1399 01:14:08,293 --> 01:14:10,876 -Why are you laughing? -[Oglethorpe] That's true. No, I see. 1400 01:14:10,959 --> 01:14:15,376 So that's the pretty little bow they're putting around this line of bullshit. 1401 01:14:15,459 --> 01:14:17,293 I bet they'll say freedom and puppies too. 1402 01:14:17,376 --> 01:14:18,209 -All right. -Yeah. 1403 01:14:18,293 --> 01:14:21,959 You want me to quit the mission? I'll quit the mission. That's fine. 1404 01:14:22,459 --> 01:14:25,751 But you have to understand, this is now beyond our control. 1405 01:14:25,834 --> 01:14:27,251 They have all the power. 1406 01:14:27,334 --> 01:14:30,001 So who do you want in the actual room to make sure 1407 01:14:30,084 --> 01:14:33,043 this whole thing doesn't turn out to be a complete goddamn disaster? 1408 01:14:33,126 --> 01:14:35,751 Jason Orlean? You want Jason Orlean in that room? Huh? 1409 01:14:35,834 --> 01:14:40,168 I have news for you. It's already a complete disaster. 1410 01:14:40,251 --> 01:14:43,793 They're talking about letting a comet the size of a mountain 1411 01:14:43,876 --> 01:14:46,668 hit the planet to jack up a cell phone company's stock! 1412 01:14:46,751 --> 01:14:49,959 You better take that down about four or five notches now. 1413 01:14:50,043 --> 01:14:53,668 Were you yelling about that mission? Why were you talking about cell phones? 1414 01:14:53,751 --> 01:14:56,793 My friend was just theorizing as to what's going on. 1415 01:14:56,876 --> 01:14:58,334 We're confused too. 1416 01:14:58,418 --> 01:15:01,501 That's an awfully official-looking White House badge you got there. 1417 01:15:01,584 --> 01:15:03,334 I don't know why I have this on. 1418 01:15:03,418 --> 01:15:05,168 Listen, just tell us what's going on. 1419 01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:07,668 I got three scared kids at home. Just tell us something. 1420 01:15:07,751 --> 01:15:10,376 I understand. I wish I could share information, but-- 1421 01:15:10,459 --> 01:15:13,001 We're people just like you. We deserve to know! 1422 01:15:13,084 --> 01:15:13,959 They're right. 1423 01:15:15,001 --> 01:15:16,126 They deserve to know. 1424 01:15:17,043 --> 01:15:18,876 Do you really wanna know what's going on? 1425 01:15:18,959 --> 01:15:20,084 -[woman] Yeah. -[man] Please. 1426 01:15:20,168 --> 01:15:22,626 -[Oglethorpe] Kate, don't. Kate. -[Mindy] Kate. 1427 01:15:23,584 --> 01:15:29,001 They found a bunch of gold and diamonds and rare shit on the comet. 1428 01:15:29,084 --> 01:15:29,918 [sighs] 1429 01:15:30,001 --> 01:15:32,209 So they're gonna let it hit the planet 1430 01:15:32,293 --> 01:15:36,459 to make a bunch of rich people even more disgustingly rich! 1431 01:15:42,959 --> 01:15:44,043 [woman] Fuck you! 1432 01:15:44,126 --> 01:15:46,126 [people clamoring] 1433 01:15:47,501 --> 01:15:49,293 [people shouting and screaming] 1434 01:15:54,751 --> 01:15:56,543 [officer] No camera! 1435 01:15:56,626 --> 01:15:58,584 …everything I could, they won't listen. 1436 01:15:58,668 --> 01:16:00,001 [Kate] Surprise, surprise. 1437 01:16:00,084 --> 01:16:02,959 Now, I'm starting to think you just like riling people up. 1438 01:16:03,043 --> 01:16:05,001 I'm so sorry, Kate. Really, I am. 1439 01:16:05,084 --> 01:16:07,084 [Kate] Oh, Randall. God. 1440 01:16:07,918 --> 01:16:09,918 Where's Brie Evantee? 1441 01:16:10,001 --> 01:16:12,418 Shouldn't you two be playing footsie in a restaurant 1442 01:16:12,501 --> 01:16:14,626 that only serves cubes and foam? 1443 01:16:14,709 --> 01:16:18,126 Well, she ain't wrong. You did lose the thread in a big way. 1444 01:16:18,209 --> 01:16:21,418 And what do you suggest we do? An online petition, huh? 1445 01:16:21,501 --> 01:16:24,459 You want to hold… Get a mob and hold up picket signs? 1446 01:16:24,543 --> 01:16:27,001 You wanna overthrow the government? I mean, look at this. 1447 01:16:27,084 --> 01:16:28,918 [Kate] I can't! My head is in a bag! 1448 01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:31,626 [agent] Sorry, Dr. Mindy. White House wants her off the grid. 1449 01:16:31,709 --> 01:16:33,209 -Come on, now. Look-- -[agent] Now. 1450 01:16:33,293 --> 01:16:36,001 [Kate] Wait. What does that mean? What the hell does that mean? 1451 01:16:36,084 --> 01:16:38,459 -What does "off the grid" mean? -[Mindy] Hey, Kate. 1452 01:16:39,334 --> 01:16:42,459 Oh, gosh. Kate! Are you okay? 1453 01:16:42,543 --> 01:16:45,501 [people shouting indistinctly] 1454 01:16:45,584 --> 01:16:48,876 Teddy, come on! What choice do I have here? 1455 01:16:51,209 --> 01:16:53,584 A man's always got choices, Randall! 1456 01:16:53,668 --> 01:16:56,501 Sometimes you just gotta choose the good one! 1457 01:16:56,584 --> 01:16:57,834 [dog barking] 1458 01:16:57,918 --> 01:17:00,084 [uneasy music playing] 1459 01:17:03,126 --> 01:17:04,751 [man] Miss Katelyn Dibiasky, 1460 01:17:04,834 --> 01:17:08,251 the charges against you are violation of national security secrets, 1461 01:17:08,334 --> 01:17:11,126 inciting a riot, and destruction of private property 1462 01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:13,709 owned by Bojo Mambo's Shrimp LLC. 1463 01:17:13,793 --> 01:17:14,626 What? I didn't-- 1464 01:17:14,709 --> 01:17:17,626 However, the Attorney General is willing to not pursue prosecution 1465 01:17:17,709 --> 01:17:19,251 if you will agree to the following: 1466 01:17:19,334 --> 01:17:22,001 "The suspension of all public media appearances 1467 01:17:22,084 --> 01:17:26,751 and incendiary language relating to Comet Dibiasky and BASH Cellular." 1468 01:17:28,959 --> 01:17:32,376 Fine. Give it to me. I don't give a shit anymore. 1469 01:17:47,918 --> 01:17:49,459 Mom. Dad. 1470 01:17:49,959 --> 01:17:52,209 [sniffles] I'm so glad to be home. 1471 01:17:54,918 --> 01:17:55,918 Unlock the door. 1472 01:17:56,001 --> 01:17:57,793 No politics. None. 1473 01:17:58,251 --> 01:17:59,626 What are you talking about? 1474 01:18:00,126 --> 01:18:02,834 Your dad and I are for the jobs the comet will provide. 1475 01:18:04,168 --> 01:18:05,084 [Kate scoffs] 1476 01:18:05,751 --> 01:18:07,959 The divisions in this country are bad enough. 1477 01:18:08,668 --> 01:18:10,501 We don't want more of that in our house. 1478 01:18:11,959 --> 01:18:14,251 -[serene music playing on TV] -[laughing] Whoa! 1479 01:18:14,334 --> 01:18:16,168 -Slow down, kids. -[boy] Sorry, Mom. 1480 01:18:17,334 --> 01:18:19,376 I worry about my kids and their future. 1481 01:18:19,918 --> 01:18:22,543 Sure, the jobs the comet's gonna create sound great. 1482 01:18:23,084 --> 01:18:24,334 What if it's not safe? 1483 01:18:24,918 --> 01:18:29,293 {\an8}Right now, millions of you are having these same doubts and questions 1484 01:18:29,376 --> 01:18:31,251 {\an8}about the approaching comet. 1485 01:18:31,334 --> 01:18:32,751 {\an8}That is why BASH Cellular 1486 01:18:32,834 --> 01:18:35,209 in conjunction with the United States Government 1487 01:18:35,293 --> 01:18:40,084 is creating a new hotline, free of charge, to answer all of your questions. 1488 01:18:40,793 --> 01:18:46,168 And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, one of our scientists… 1489 01:18:46,251 --> 01:18:49,584 Thank you, Sharon. Makes me feel so much better. 1490 01:18:49,668 --> 01:18:53,876 …can be that friend we all need to lean on during uncertain times. 1491 01:18:55,251 --> 01:18:58,793 [announcer on TV] Call 1-800-532-4500 for peace of mind. 1492 01:18:58,876 --> 01:19:00,501 {\an8}Offer only available to BASH customers. 1493 01:19:00,584 --> 01:19:02,959 {\an8}Details of your call may be shared with other subsidiaries 1494 01:19:03,043 --> 01:19:05,959 {\an8}to enhance your customer experience. Data and roaming charges apply. 1495 01:19:06,043 --> 01:19:09,459 [Brie laughing] So, I thought he was the ambassador. I was just flattering him. 1496 01:19:09,543 --> 01:19:13,584 [chuckling] Well, he was a waiter. Now he's got an ego the size of Texas. 1497 01:19:16,959 --> 01:19:18,168 Oh, my God. 1498 01:19:19,293 --> 01:19:22,918 June, what, uh… What are you doing here, sweetie? 1499 01:19:24,751 --> 01:19:27,501 Had a feeling something was going on and just… 1500 01:19:28,376 --> 01:19:32,001 [Mindy] Well, you know, we're discussing important business. 1501 01:19:32,084 --> 01:19:35,501 -That's what we're doing. -Oh, yeah, that's really very important. 1502 01:19:35,584 --> 01:19:37,793 Oh, can we just skip past this part, please? 1503 01:19:37,876 --> 01:19:39,543 Where you get to feel self-righteous 1504 01:19:39,626 --> 01:19:43,084 and we put our tails between our legs. It is just so boring. 1505 01:19:43,168 --> 01:19:44,834 [sarcastically] Oh, it's "so boring"? 1506 01:19:44,918 --> 01:19:49,334 You wanna skip the part where you feel bad for screwing my husband? 1507 01:19:49,918 --> 01:19:52,626 Oh… No, I don't feel bad. 1508 01:19:52,709 --> 01:19:56,459 Randall and I are having a wonderful time. So, I think the question is, 1509 01:19:56,543 --> 01:20:01,834 do we keep having a wonderful time or does he go back with you to Wisconsin? 1510 01:20:01,918 --> 01:20:02,793 Or Montana. 1511 01:20:02,876 --> 01:20:04,918 -Michigan? -Michigan. 1512 01:20:06,834 --> 01:20:08,084 [hesitates] 1513 01:20:08,168 --> 01:20:12,543 You know, um… she is actually right. 1514 01:20:13,334 --> 01:20:16,376 That's the only question. So… 1515 01:20:19,001 --> 01:20:20,793 [Mindy] Well, June, sweetie… 1516 01:20:20,876 --> 01:20:23,918 [breathing heavily] Sometimes in life things are, you know, 1517 01:20:24,001 --> 01:20:26,501 they're complicated and they just-- 1518 01:20:26,584 --> 01:20:27,709 [Mrs. Mindy] Oh, okay. 1519 01:20:30,001 --> 01:20:31,709 Oh, that was fast, um… 1520 01:20:32,876 --> 01:20:33,834 [clicks tongue] 1521 01:20:35,293 --> 01:20:38,418 Well, before I go, um, 1522 01:20:38,501 --> 01:20:41,418 let me just give you some instructions 1523 01:20:42,376 --> 01:20:45,501 on how to take care of Randall. 1524 01:20:46,126 --> 01:20:47,084 Uh… 1525 01:20:47,168 --> 01:20:50,584 Yeah, here's the Xanax he takes for his panic attacks. 1526 01:20:50,668 --> 01:20:51,501 Oh, gosh. 1527 01:20:51,584 --> 01:20:54,501 Here's the Zoloft he takes for the crashing depressions. 1528 01:20:54,584 --> 01:20:58,293 -Not so much recently. Okay, you know-- -Oh! Oh, good for you. Great. 1529 01:20:58,376 --> 01:21:02,043 -Uh, this is for his blood pressure. -Ow. 1530 01:21:02,126 --> 01:21:04,751 -Restless leg syndrome, that's a fun one. -God. 1531 01:21:06,751 --> 01:21:10,918 Oh. Appetite suppressant to counteract the weight gain from his other meds. 1532 01:21:11,001 --> 01:21:15,918 And, uh, for America's sexiest scientist, a bottle of goddamn Cialis! 1533 01:21:16,001 --> 01:21:17,418 Ow! Gosh. 1534 01:21:26,626 --> 01:21:28,084 Goodbye. Goodbye, Randall. 1535 01:21:28,168 --> 01:21:29,959 I guess I'll just tell your sons 1536 01:21:30,043 --> 01:21:32,418 that Dad's fucking the lady on our television. 1537 01:21:33,459 --> 01:21:34,834 June, I… 1538 01:21:36,293 --> 01:21:38,501 I really thought for a second that was gonna work out. 1539 01:21:38,584 --> 01:21:40,293 -[door closes] -[sighs] 1540 01:21:40,376 --> 01:21:43,709 People, they wanna manage the comet to create jobs. 1541 01:21:43,793 --> 01:21:45,834 Thirty-seven percent don't want the comet to hit. 1542 01:21:45,918 --> 01:21:47,626 That's actually down by three points. 1543 01:21:47,709 --> 01:21:50,834 And 23%, they don't think there's a comet at all, 1544 01:21:50,918 --> 01:21:52,709 and that number is way up. 1545 01:21:53,543 --> 01:21:56,834 Not Bitcoin, RatCoin. RatCoin. 1546 01:21:56,918 --> 01:21:58,876 [indistinct chatter on TV] 1547 01:21:59,626 --> 01:22:01,876 I'd like to buy these sunglasses. 1548 01:22:10,209 --> 01:22:12,501 You that girl from live TV who said we're all gonna die? 1549 01:22:13,084 --> 01:22:15,001 No. What's your purchase? 1550 01:22:18,293 --> 01:22:19,251 [scoffs] 1551 01:22:19,334 --> 01:22:20,293 What the fuck? 1552 01:22:20,376 --> 01:22:23,084 -Yeah, that's you. It's definitely you. -Yep, that's me. 1553 01:22:23,168 --> 01:22:26,876 Holy shit. You're a stone-cold legend. Word is bond. 1554 01:22:28,168 --> 01:22:29,626 I got a picture of you on my board. 1555 01:22:29,709 --> 01:22:31,084 Picture on his fucking board. 1556 01:22:31,168 --> 01:22:33,168 [Kate] That's great. What's your purchase? 1557 01:22:33,251 --> 01:22:36,459 If you don't have one, get out of line and make room for other customers. 1558 01:22:36,543 --> 01:22:38,834 Can I touch your hair in a non-sexual way? 1559 01:22:38,918 --> 01:22:41,584 -Get the fuck away from me. -Oh, dude, have some… Um… 1560 01:22:42,626 --> 01:22:45,084 Call Diogo, he'll freak out. Will you say hi to my friend? 1561 01:22:45,168 --> 01:22:47,793 Dude, he's obsessed with you. We love you. We don't like… 1562 01:22:47,876 --> 01:22:49,293 Can't stand Orlean, either. 1563 01:22:49,376 --> 01:22:53,459 -Yo, yo, yo! -[Diogo] Yo! 1564 01:22:53,543 --> 01:22:54,626 What's up? Yo, check out… 1565 01:22:54,709 --> 01:22:57,126 Yo, shut the fuck up. Check out who we're with. 1566 01:22:57,209 --> 01:22:59,876 -Yo, bro! What up? -What up? 1567 01:22:59,959 --> 01:23:01,209 [laughter and chatter] 1568 01:23:01,293 --> 01:23:04,001 I mean, we have a purchase, but we don't have payment, 1569 01:23:04,084 --> 01:23:05,626 which is a metaphor on… 1570 01:23:07,251 --> 01:23:09,334 -Cash? -[man] Also, Phillip, I've been told… 1571 01:23:09,418 --> 01:23:10,709 -Right. -…that you wrote a book 1572 01:23:10,793 --> 01:23:13,501 about your past relationship with Kate Dibiasky. 1573 01:23:13,584 --> 01:23:16,001 Funny you should say that, I'm working on that now. 1574 01:23:16,084 --> 01:23:18,626 It's gonna be called A Brush With The Devil, and it's, uh… 1575 01:23:18,709 --> 01:23:20,834 You calling security or something, with your eyes? 1576 01:23:20,918 --> 01:23:22,168 No. You're free to go. 1577 01:23:22,251 --> 01:23:24,376 -[man] That sounds terrible. -Just like that? 1578 01:23:24,459 --> 01:23:25,584 [chuckles] 1579 01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:27,168 You don't give a shit, do you? 1580 01:23:29,001 --> 01:23:30,001 Sure, I do. 1581 01:23:30,084 --> 01:23:33,084 I care about DrinkMo's guarantee of quality service. 1582 01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:35,543 Well, we don't give a shit either. 1583 01:23:35,626 --> 01:23:37,251 Not one single shit. 1584 01:23:37,334 --> 01:23:40,334 We hang and board behind the abandoned Burger Crown from 7:00 to whenever. 1585 01:23:40,418 --> 01:23:41,251 Yeah, we do. 1586 01:23:41,334 --> 01:23:43,793 You should come hang. If you're not a fucking pussy. 1587 01:23:46,709 --> 01:23:48,376 [Phillip] Oh, you know, it's me… 1588 01:23:48,459 --> 01:23:51,001 -Fuck. Okay. Thanks. -…and a bottle of scotch. 1589 01:23:52,001 --> 01:23:54,543 It's a joke. But also… 1590 01:23:55,043 --> 01:23:58,043 {\an8}[dramatic music playing] 1591 01:24:06,584 --> 01:24:09,126 [Peter] Okay, let me introduce you 1592 01:24:10,001 --> 01:24:16,376 uh, to mankind's savior, BASH Explore and Acquire Drone. 1593 01:24:16,459 --> 01:24:17,543 It's incredible. 1594 01:24:17,626 --> 01:24:19,168 It's incredible, isn't it? 1595 01:24:19,251 --> 01:24:22,876 I call this one Primo, the first. [laughing] 1596 01:24:22,959 --> 01:24:24,459 It's like my first child. 1597 01:24:25,126 --> 01:24:31,334 Primo, my boy. It's your father, Cronos. [laughing] 1598 01:24:31,418 --> 01:24:35,084 Don't be shy. Come on. You're gonna be a god in the sky. 1599 01:24:35,168 --> 01:24:37,168 [laughter] 1600 01:24:41,459 --> 01:24:46,626 Are you at all concerned about the sync on the BEAD explosions? 1601 01:24:46,709 --> 01:24:50,626 Oh, Doctor. There are always questions and fears, and… 1602 01:24:51,293 --> 01:24:54,543 I have a report here from a Dr. Inez. 1603 01:24:54,626 --> 01:24:57,084 -If you'd just take a look at this study. -Oh, thanks. 1604 01:24:57,168 --> 01:24:59,376 Listen, a lot of my colleagues, 1605 01:24:59,459 --> 01:25:01,918 they've either been removed or resigned from this project, 1606 01:25:02,001 --> 01:25:06,126 apparently for asking too many questions about this mission here. 1607 01:25:06,209 --> 01:25:08,793 So I just wanna make sure that you're… 1608 01:25:09,376 --> 01:25:11,918 That you're open to the scientific peer-review process 1609 01:25:12,001 --> 01:25:14,626 and you're not approaching this mission like a businessman. 1610 01:25:14,709 --> 01:25:16,459 -You know? That-- -What did you say? 1611 01:25:16,959 --> 01:25:20,251 -I wanna know if you're-- -Did you call me a businessman? 1612 01:25:20,918 --> 01:25:23,959 -You do own a corporate-- -You think I'm just a businessman? 1613 01:25:25,543 --> 01:25:27,834 Do you think you know me, Doctor? 1614 01:25:29,418 --> 01:25:30,334 Business? 1615 01:25:31,293 --> 01:25:35,168 This is evolution. This is evolution of the human species. 1616 01:25:36,168 --> 01:25:38,168 -What are you doing bringing this… -[Orlean] Well-- 1617 01:25:38,251 --> 01:25:41,418 You know that BASH has over 40 million data points on you, 1618 01:25:41,501 --> 01:25:45,501 on every decision you have made since 1994, Doctor? 1619 01:25:45,584 --> 01:25:50,084 I… I know when you have colon polyps 1620 01:25:50,168 --> 01:25:51,876 months before your doctor does. 1621 01:25:51,959 --> 01:25:53,793 You got four or five at the moment actually. 1622 01:25:53,876 --> 01:25:57,418 You know, they're not of concern, but I'd have a checkup as soon as you can. 1623 01:25:57,501 --> 01:26:01,959 But much more importantly than that, I know what you are. I know who you are. 1624 01:26:02,043 --> 01:26:07,043 My algorithms have determined eight fundamental consumer profile types. 1625 01:26:07,126 --> 01:26:10,834 You are a lifestyle idealist. 1626 01:26:10,918 --> 01:26:15,168 You think you're motivated by beliefs, high ethical beliefs. 1627 01:26:15,251 --> 01:26:20,168 But you just run towards pleasure and away from pain. 1628 01:26:22,418 --> 01:26:25,043 Like a… Like a field mouse. 1629 01:26:27,168 --> 01:26:28,543 [Mindy] I'm just trying to… 1630 01:26:28,626 --> 01:26:29,876 [inhales deeply] 1631 01:26:29,959 --> 01:26:32,918 I just wanna make sure that the science is sound on this project. 1632 01:26:33,001 --> 01:26:34,084 I hope you understand-- 1633 01:26:34,168 --> 01:26:38,293 Our algorithms can even predict how you'll die. 1634 01:26:39,168 --> 01:26:44,418 To 96… 96.5% accuracy. 1635 01:26:44,501 --> 01:26:46,376 I looked you up after we met. 1636 01:26:47,584 --> 01:26:52,043 Your death was so unremarkable and boring. 1637 01:26:52,709 --> 01:26:56,793 I can't remember the details, apart from one thing. 1638 01:26:59,043 --> 01:27:00,793 You're gonna die alone. 1639 01:27:03,793 --> 01:27:04,834 Alone. 1640 01:27:05,334 --> 01:27:10,001 If you'll excuse me, Madam President. I've got some work to do. 1641 01:27:10,084 --> 01:27:11,751 [Orlean] What the hell are you doing? 1642 01:27:11,834 --> 01:27:14,376 -My God. -I was trying to do my job. 1643 01:27:14,459 --> 01:27:17,751 You are just so lucky that Peter adores you. 1644 01:27:23,293 --> 01:27:24,168 [sighs] 1645 01:27:25,126 --> 01:27:27,418 You're with the grown-ups now, Randall. 1646 01:27:27,501 --> 01:27:29,126 I can't even follow this shit anymore! 1647 01:27:29,209 --> 01:27:32,001 -[music playing on speakers] -[indistinct chatter] 1648 01:27:35,209 --> 01:27:40,418 BASH got Orlean to pay the Chilean government, if I'm correct, 1649 01:27:40,501 --> 01:27:44,626 $90 billion to let the tsunami hit off the coast of the country. 1650 01:27:44,709 --> 01:27:45,709 That sound right to you? 1651 01:27:45,793 --> 01:27:47,709 [man 3] Isherwell built an underground bunker 1652 01:27:47,793 --> 01:27:49,376 for him and all his executives. 1653 01:27:49,459 --> 01:27:51,834 No, I heard that they built an escape ship. 1654 01:27:51,918 --> 01:27:55,293 You guys, the truth is way more depressing. 1655 01:27:56,334 --> 01:28:00,251 They're not even smart enough to be as evil as you're giving them credit for. 1656 01:28:00,876 --> 01:28:01,876 [glass shatters] 1657 01:28:01,959 --> 01:28:03,834 [people clamoring, cheering] 1658 01:28:06,001 --> 01:28:06,876 Ugh! 1659 01:28:06,959 --> 01:28:08,584 -What? -No. 1660 01:28:09,543 --> 01:28:10,668 [people shouting] 1661 01:28:12,959 --> 01:28:16,168 Fuck! You're driving me fucking crazy, Kate. [chuckles nervously] 1662 01:28:16,251 --> 01:28:17,876 Fuck it. We're all gonna die. 1663 01:28:17,959 --> 01:28:19,209 ♪ …sun, ice cream ♪ 1664 01:28:19,293 --> 01:28:21,626 ♪ You smooth like felt Soft to the touch ♪ 1665 01:28:21,709 --> 01:28:25,001 ♪ You wear repellent Smell your scent from up above ♪ 1666 01:28:25,084 --> 01:28:27,543 ♪ Angel getting carried out the club ♪ 1667 01:28:27,626 --> 01:28:30,209 ♪ For slapping Harry Harry's just a mug ♪ 1668 01:28:30,293 --> 01:28:32,793 ♪ I'm stood outside waiting Where you gone? ♪ 1669 01:28:32,876 --> 01:28:35,293 ♪ Cubicle lines Catch a cold, Jack Frost ♪ 1670 01:28:35,376 --> 01:28:36,793 [Jack] …movie will be released 1671 01:28:36,876 --> 01:28:40,209 the day that some believe Comet Dibiasky will impact the planet. 1672 01:28:40,293 --> 01:28:42,793 And the early word is it's already a classic, Brie. 1673 01:28:42,876 --> 01:28:45,543 [Brie] Oh, yes. Well, and what a stellar cast. 1674 01:28:45,626 --> 01:28:48,084 -Devin. Yeah. -I love Devin Peters. 1675 01:28:48,168 --> 01:28:49,668 He's great. Everything he does. 1676 01:28:49,751 --> 01:28:52,751 -What's it called again? -[Jack] It's called Total Devastation. 1677 01:28:52,834 --> 01:28:56,251 -It cost $300 million to make. -[Brie] Whoo! 1678 01:28:56,334 --> 01:28:59,376 -I mean, these movies-- -[laughs] It's more than you earn. 1679 01:28:59,459 --> 01:29:01,834 [Jack] Tell me about it. And my friend Farley, he saw it. 1680 01:29:01,918 --> 01:29:04,668 -He said it's a ton of fun. That's right. -Well, Farley likes it. 1681 01:29:04,751 --> 01:29:07,293 All right, well, what Farley says goes. 1682 01:29:07,376 --> 01:29:08,626 But, uh, first, 1683 01:29:09,459 --> 01:29:12,501 and yes, you can tell from my smile… 1684 01:29:12,584 --> 01:29:13,876 [chuckles] Stop it. 1685 01:29:13,959 --> 01:29:18,959 That America's sexiest scientist is here. Dr. Randall. Welcome. 1686 01:29:19,709 --> 01:29:21,418 Dr. Randall, how are you, sir? 1687 01:29:21,501 --> 01:29:24,251 [sighs] I'm--  I'm good. I'm gooder than good. 1688 01:29:24,334 --> 01:29:25,626 [laughter] 1689 01:29:25,709 --> 01:29:30,876 All right. So, Randall, we're hearing that there is no comet, 1690 01:29:30,959 --> 01:29:34,418 or that there is a comet but it's a good thing or maybe it's a bad thing. 1691 01:29:34,501 --> 01:29:36,793 We are so confused. [chuckles] 1692 01:29:36,876 --> 01:29:41,209 So, could you please help us out here, you know, oh, wise scientist? 1693 01:29:42,584 --> 01:29:45,459 Well, first and foremost, Brie, um… 1694 01:29:45,543 --> 01:29:47,876 [sniffs] …there most certainly is a comet. 1695 01:29:47,959 --> 01:29:48,834 [Brie] All right. 1696 01:29:48,918 --> 01:29:52,168 And we know that there is a comet because we have the data. 1697 01:29:53,168 --> 01:29:54,459 Um… [clears throat] 1698 01:29:54,543 --> 01:29:58,709 There has been growing concern within the scientific community as of late. 1699 01:29:59,376 --> 01:30:02,918 You see, the peer-review process is absolutely essential… 1700 01:30:03,001 --> 01:30:05,626 -If BASH's stock… -…for us to get to the facts of… Yes? 1701 01:30:05,709 --> 01:30:07,376 If BASH's stock is any indicator, 1702 01:30:07,459 --> 01:30:09,376 we don't have to worry about the peer review. 1703 01:30:09,459 --> 01:30:10,626 It is going gangbusters. 1704 01:30:10,709 --> 01:30:13,168 And full disclosure. I bought as many shares as I could. 1705 01:30:13,251 --> 01:30:14,543 I advise you to do the same. 1706 01:30:14,626 --> 01:30:16,376 You are such a shameless capitalist. 1707 01:30:16,459 --> 01:30:19,501 Said the woman who will be in the brand-new hot tub on my back deck 1708 01:30:19,584 --> 01:30:22,126 -when I put it in from the stock. -You know me too well. 1709 01:30:22,209 --> 01:30:23,251 That's right. 1710 01:30:23,334 --> 01:30:25,918 Dr. Randall, you sure you're okay? You want a glass of water… 1711 01:30:26,001 --> 01:30:27,209 I don't feel so good. 1712 01:30:27,293 --> 01:30:29,668 [Brie] So I think we'll go to commercial break-- 1713 01:30:29,751 --> 01:30:33,334 No, Please, Brie. Don't cut away. Let me say something. 1714 01:30:33,418 --> 01:30:34,959 -Okay. -You came to the right place. 1715 01:30:35,043 --> 01:30:36,418 We like to say things. 1716 01:30:36,501 --> 01:30:40,459 Would you please just stop being so [bleep] pleasant? 1717 01:30:41,876 --> 01:30:44,834 I'm sorry, but not everything needs to sound so goddamn clever 1718 01:30:44,918 --> 01:30:47,126 or charming or likeable all the time. 1719 01:30:47,209 --> 01:30:50,626 Sometimes we need to just be able to say things to one another. 1720 01:30:50,709 --> 01:30:52,126 We need to hear things. 1721 01:30:53,876 --> 01:30:57,168 Look, let's establish, once again, 1722 01:30:57,834 --> 01:31:01,959 that there is a huge comet headed towards Earth. 1723 01:31:02,709 --> 01:31:05,334 And the reason we know that there is a comet 1724 01:31:05,418 --> 01:31:06,876 is because we saw it. 1725 01:31:06,959 --> 01:31:10,251 We saw it with our own eyes using a telescope. 1726 01:31:10,334 --> 01:31:13,543 I mean, for God's sake, we took a fucking picture of it! 1727 01:31:13,626 --> 01:31:15,334 What other proof do we need? 1728 01:31:15,834 --> 01:31:18,418 And if we can't all agree at the bare minimum 1729 01:31:18,501 --> 01:31:22,918 that a giant comet the size of Mount Everest 1730 01:31:23,001 --> 01:31:29,084 hurtling its way towards planet Earth is not a fucking good thing, 1731 01:31:29,876 --> 01:31:32,168 then what the hell happened to us? 1732 01:31:33,043 --> 01:31:37,376 I mean, my God, how do-- How do we even talk to each other? 1733 01:31:37,459 --> 01:31:41,251 What've we… What've we done to ourselves? How do we fix it? 1734 01:31:41,334 --> 01:31:44,834 We should have deflected this comet when we had the fucking chance, 1735 01:31:44,918 --> 01:31:48,126 but we didn't do it. I don't know why we didn't do it. 1736 01:31:48,209 --> 01:31:52,001 And now they're actually firing scientists like me 1737 01:31:52,084 --> 01:31:54,709 for speaking out, for opposing them. 1738 01:31:55,459 --> 01:31:57,918 And I'm sure many of the people out there 1739 01:31:58,001 --> 01:32:00,001 aren't even gonna listen to what I just said 1740 01:32:00,084 --> 01:32:02,876 'cause they have their own political ideology, 1741 01:32:03,543 --> 01:32:05,959 but I… assure you, 1742 01:32:06,626 --> 01:32:08,626 I am not on one side or the other. 1743 01:32:08,709 --> 01:32:10,959 I'm just telling you the fucking truth. 1744 01:32:11,043 --> 01:32:12,668 This would be a good time to establish 1745 01:32:12,751 --> 01:32:15,293 that Isherwell and the president have both said 1746 01:32:15,376 --> 01:32:17,001 that there's benefits to be-- 1747 01:32:17,084 --> 01:32:21,793 Right, well, the president of the United States is fucking lying! 1748 01:32:23,168 --> 01:32:24,751 Look, I'm just like all of you. 1749 01:32:24,834 --> 01:32:29,876 I hope to God, I hope to God that this president knows what she's doing. 1750 01:32:29,959 --> 01:32:33,793 I hope she's got us all taken care of, but the truth is, 1751 01:32:33,876 --> 01:32:36,918 I think this whole administration 1752 01:32:37,001 --> 01:32:41,543 has completely lost their fucking mind! 1753 01:32:41,626 --> 01:32:45,168 And I think we're all gonna die! 1754 01:32:45,876 --> 01:32:47,668 [breathing heavily] 1755 01:32:49,334 --> 01:32:51,168 [softly] Look, I just wanna go home. 1756 01:32:51,834 --> 01:32:54,168 [sighs] I just wanna go home. 1757 01:32:54,251 --> 01:32:56,168 I just wanna go home more than anything. 1758 01:32:56,251 --> 01:32:58,626 [breathing heavily] 1759 01:33:00,918 --> 01:33:02,626 But if there is one thing, 1760 01:33:03,251 --> 01:33:05,334 one thing that I pray… 1761 01:33:05,418 --> 01:33:09,876 that I pray that all of you hear from what I have just said, 1762 01:33:10,668 --> 01:33:13,626 is that all of us, all of us… 1763 01:33:16,001 --> 01:33:17,334 [car door opens] 1764 01:33:18,793 --> 01:33:19,793 [sighs] 1765 01:33:22,126 --> 01:33:23,668 Why'd you do that? 1766 01:33:24,793 --> 01:33:28,293 I really liked you and I despise most people. 1767 01:33:29,834 --> 01:33:33,043 [Mindy] You know, I… I really thought I loved you. 1768 01:33:35,834 --> 01:33:37,001 Really? 1769 01:33:37,918 --> 01:33:38,793 Wow. 1770 01:33:40,418 --> 01:33:41,876 [sighs] That's wild. 1771 01:33:43,043 --> 01:33:44,668 -Yeah. -[car door opens] 1772 01:33:44,751 --> 01:33:47,459 [man] Ma'am, you need to go. We gotta get this man off the grid. 1773 01:33:49,543 --> 01:33:50,751 [Mindy] You still there? 1774 01:33:53,793 --> 01:33:54,834 No. 1775 01:33:57,334 --> 01:34:01,084 [Kate] Well, maybe he just gets off on the power, you know, 1776 01:34:01,168 --> 01:34:02,834 like any kind of power. 1777 01:34:02,918 --> 01:34:07,793 It's like he knew eventually that I was gonna find out that the snacks were free. 1778 01:34:07,876 --> 01:34:09,334 -Right. -You know what I mean? 1779 01:34:09,418 --> 01:34:11,876 -Yeah. -So it was just like a power play. 1780 01:34:12,584 --> 01:34:13,668 Yeah, guys are weird. 1781 01:34:16,293 --> 01:34:20,043 I'm starting to think that all this "end of the world" stuff is bullshit. 1782 01:34:21,668 --> 01:34:22,876 It's not. 1783 01:34:22,959 --> 01:34:26,876 It's definitely happening. I've seen it. 1784 01:34:27,459 --> 01:34:31,084 I feel like if God wanted to destroy the Earth, He would destroy the Earth. 1785 01:34:33,376 --> 01:34:34,626 You believe in God? 1786 01:34:36,584 --> 01:34:39,209 Yeah, I mean, my parents raised me Evangelical, 1787 01:34:39,293 --> 01:34:41,626 and I hate them, but I found my own way to it. 1788 01:34:41,709 --> 01:34:42,959 My own relationship. 1789 01:34:44,376 --> 01:34:45,501 [Kate] Hmm. 1790 01:34:46,459 --> 01:34:48,751 I'd appreciate it if you didn't advertise it, though. 1791 01:34:52,084 --> 01:34:55,209 I won't tell anybody. [chuckles] I think it's kind of sweet. 1792 01:34:58,793 --> 01:35:01,376 -Wanna make out? -Yeah, why not? 1793 01:35:02,501 --> 01:35:05,501 Can you not say "why not"? It makes me feel like you don't want it. 1794 01:35:06,501 --> 01:35:07,501 It's shitty. 1795 01:35:09,584 --> 01:35:12,209 -Sure, whatever. -That's better. 1796 01:35:13,959 --> 01:35:15,376 [pop song playing on radio] 1797 01:35:15,459 --> 01:35:16,459 [radio tuning] 1798 01:35:16,543 --> 01:35:17,501 [volume increases] 1799 01:35:17,584 --> 01:35:23,918 ♪ I still feel 25 Most of the time ♪ 1800 01:35:24,543 --> 01:35:29,293 ♪ I still raise a little Cain With the boys ♪ 1801 01:35:31,709 --> 01:35:33,459 ♪ Honky tonks and pretty… ♪ 1802 01:35:42,751 --> 01:35:44,876 -Oh, my God, that's it. -What? What? 1803 01:35:44,959 --> 01:35:47,209 -That's the comet. -What? Where? 1804 01:35:47,751 --> 01:35:48,793 [gasps] 1805 01:35:48,876 --> 01:35:51,959 -[Yule] Where? Uh-huh. -Well, that's the Big Dipper. 1806 01:35:52,043 --> 01:35:54,959 -That's Venus. That's the North Star. -Uh-huh. 1807 01:35:55,543 --> 01:35:58,001 -Well, what is that? -Oh, shit. 1808 01:35:58,084 --> 01:35:59,126 [Kate chuckles] 1809 01:35:59,209 --> 01:36:05,918 ♪ Sometimes I feel like Jesse James Still trying to make a name ♪ 1810 01:36:06,501 --> 01:36:07,751 What the hell? 1811 01:36:07,834 --> 01:36:10,459 ♪ Knowing nothing's gonna change What I am ♪ 1812 01:36:10,543 --> 01:36:11,543 What? 1813 01:36:13,793 --> 01:36:14,626 Come on. 1814 01:36:14,709 --> 01:36:16,834 [horns honking] 1815 01:36:22,251 --> 01:36:23,251 There it is. 1816 01:36:23,334 --> 01:36:24,501 [horns honking] 1817 01:36:26,001 --> 01:36:27,168 There you are. 1818 01:36:30,209 --> 01:36:31,209 There you are. 1819 01:36:32,126 --> 01:36:34,293 Is anyone else seeing this? That's it. 1820 01:36:35,084 --> 01:36:38,876 That's it. That's the comet. Look! It's right there. 1821 01:36:38,959 --> 01:36:39,834 [man shouting] 1822 01:36:39,918 --> 01:36:42,918 [uneasy music playing] 1823 01:37:14,876 --> 01:37:16,293 -[gasps] -[cell phone vibrating] 1824 01:37:16,376 --> 01:37:19,334 -That's, you know, kinda scary. -Oh! Exactly. 1825 01:37:23,834 --> 01:37:25,668 -Dr. Mindy. -[Mindy] Kate. 1826 01:37:25,751 --> 01:37:27,918 Doc, you can see it. 1827 01:37:28,001 --> 01:37:32,209 I… I'm looking at it right now too. It's unbelievable. It's… 1828 01:37:32,709 --> 01:37:36,293 It's horrific and it's… And it's beautiful at the same time. 1829 01:37:36,376 --> 01:37:38,084 -Oh, my God. -[laughing] 1830 01:37:43,251 --> 01:37:45,168 We've been trying to tell you. 1831 01:37:45,793 --> 01:37:49,084 We tried to tell you this whole time. It's right there. It's… 1832 01:37:49,918 --> 01:37:51,501 It's right there, Kate. 1833 01:37:51,584 --> 01:37:52,668 [horns honking] 1834 01:37:54,334 --> 01:37:55,418 [Kate] Where are you? 1835 01:37:55,501 --> 01:37:56,918 I'm in Lansing, Michigan 1836 01:37:57,001 --> 01:38:00,168 trying to fix things with June, but she won't talk to me. 1837 01:38:00,251 --> 01:38:02,126 -Where are you? -[Yule] What the fuck? 1838 01:38:03,084 --> 01:38:04,209 [Kate] I… 1839 01:38:04,293 --> 01:38:06,334 [Mindy] I'm gonna come find you, okay? 1840 01:38:07,418 --> 01:38:10,751 Well, I'm in Illinois. I could be ready by tomorrow. 1841 01:38:12,126 --> 01:38:13,418 -Dearest Father… -Yeah, I'm-- 1842 01:38:13,501 --> 01:38:16,043 …as a sinner I come to You for Your grace and guidance… 1843 01:38:16,126 --> 01:38:18,168 [Mindy] They're finally seeing it. 1844 01:38:18,751 --> 01:38:20,293 They're finally seeing it. 1845 01:38:20,376 --> 01:38:22,209 [uneasy music continues playing] 1846 01:38:26,126 --> 01:38:27,626 There it is! 1847 01:38:34,751 --> 01:38:35,959 [grunting] 1848 01:38:38,376 --> 01:38:39,626 [cooing] 1849 01:38:39,709 --> 01:38:41,584 [bell dinging] 1850 01:38:41,668 --> 01:38:45,251 Go outside into your yard, onto a roof, onto your sidewalk, 1851 01:38:45,334 --> 01:38:46,751 and just look up into the sky. 1852 01:38:46,834 --> 01:38:50,168 The star's gonna appear fuzzy. It's got a long streak coming off of it. 1853 01:38:50,251 --> 01:38:51,751 That's the comet's tail. 1854 01:38:51,834 --> 01:38:53,418 It's real and it's coming. 1855 01:38:53,501 --> 01:38:56,084 If anyone tells you any different, they're full of shit. 1856 01:38:56,168 --> 01:38:57,668 Just look up into the sky. 1857 01:38:57,751 --> 01:38:59,209 It's a fucking fact. 1858 01:38:59,293 --> 01:39:00,751 -We have proof. -Just look up. 1859 01:39:00,834 --> 01:39:04,459 Guys, please just look up, okay? Screw the manatees and just look up. 1860 01:39:04,543 --> 01:39:05,501 [both] Just look up. 1861 01:39:05,584 --> 01:39:07,668 -[all] Just look up! -Just look up! Just look up! 1862 01:39:07,751 --> 01:39:08,751 Just look up! 1863 01:39:08,834 --> 01:39:13,126 Dr. Mindy, the president's plan to save Earth 1864 01:39:13,209 --> 01:39:18,168 and make it so we can all have a home is going to work, right? 1865 01:39:18,251 --> 01:39:22,293 Every single man, woman and child on this planet is going to die. 1866 01:39:22,376 --> 01:39:25,584 -I don't like him. He makes me sad. -I'm sorry about that. 1867 01:39:25,668 --> 01:39:27,668 -This is not what we rehearsed. -Kids, listen. 1868 01:39:27,751 --> 01:39:30,918 You tell your parents that President Orlean and Isherwell 1869 01:39:31,001 --> 01:39:32,668 are sociopaths and fascists! 1870 01:39:32,751 --> 01:39:34,626 [cheers and applause] 1871 01:39:39,834 --> 01:39:42,751 And do you know why they want you to look up? 1872 01:39:43,709 --> 01:39:45,459 Do you know why? 1873 01:39:45,543 --> 01:39:48,084 'Cause they want you to be afraid. 1874 01:39:48,168 --> 01:39:49,459 [audience cheering] 1875 01:39:49,543 --> 01:39:52,001 They want you to look up 1876 01:39:52,084 --> 01:39:54,751 because they are looking down their noses at you. 1877 01:39:56,084 --> 01:39:57,959 They think they're better than you. 1878 01:39:58,043 --> 01:40:00,543 -[hip-hop tune plays] -[chanting] Don't look up! 1879 01:40:00,626 --> 01:40:02,876 They wanna rob you of your freedom, and that's a fact! 1880 01:40:02,959 --> 01:40:05,043 [chanting] Don't look up! 1881 01:40:05,126 --> 01:40:06,876 The US president, Orlean… 1882 01:40:06,959 --> 01:40:09,293 -[crowd clamoring] -[man yelling] Just look up! 1883 01:40:09,376 --> 01:40:12,668 …has not included India or any other nation in the world 1884 01:40:12,751 --> 01:40:14,084 to be a part of this mission. 1885 01:40:14,793 --> 01:40:17,418 This dude is a known pornographer named Kip… 1886 01:40:17,501 --> 01:40:18,751 Don't listen to that dumbfuck. 1887 01:40:18,834 --> 01:40:24,834 The United Nations have been considering its own deflective mission. 1888 01:40:24,918 --> 01:40:27,168 -[laughing] -Just look up, for fuck's sake! 1889 01:40:27,251 --> 01:40:31,001 [woman] Now I know a lot of Hollywood is supporting the Just Look Up movement, 1890 01:40:31,084 --> 01:40:32,918 but I haven't seen a pin like that. 1891 01:40:33,001 --> 01:40:37,751 Yeah, this pin points both up and down. 1892 01:40:38,334 --> 01:40:42,959 Because I think, as a country, we need to stop arguing 1893 01:40:43,043 --> 01:40:45,543 and virtue signaling. Just get along. 1894 01:40:46,168 --> 01:40:48,543 -[woman] That is so refreshing. -Hmm. 1895 01:40:48,626 --> 01:40:51,251 [woman] I think we're all tired of the politics. 1896 01:40:51,334 --> 01:40:53,501 Yeah, yeah. Well… 1897 01:40:54,501 --> 01:40:56,126 That's why we made Total Devastation. 1898 01:40:56,209 --> 01:40:58,334 It's for everyone. You know? It's a popcorn movie. 1899 01:40:58,418 --> 01:41:02,126 You keep your eye on the road ahead, you put your head down. 1900 01:41:02,209 --> 01:41:04,626 And you put one foot in front of the other, 1901 01:41:04,709 --> 01:41:05,751 step by step. 1902 01:41:05,834 --> 01:41:06,959 [people cheering] 1903 01:41:07,043 --> 01:41:08,126 [Orlean] Day by day. 1904 01:41:08,209 --> 01:41:11,418 -[people chanting] Don't look up! -Don't! 1905 01:41:11,501 --> 01:41:13,501 [captivating music playing] 1906 01:41:17,501 --> 01:41:20,543 So we wanna say something loud and clear. 1907 01:41:20,626 --> 01:41:24,251 There is no safe way to bring this comet back to Earth 1908 01:41:24,334 --> 01:41:27,043 and exploit it for profit. It cannot be done! 1909 01:41:27,626 --> 01:41:31,501 Nations of the world, defy Orlean and BASH! 1910 01:41:31,584 --> 01:41:36,126 Launch your own nuclear deflection mission now and save this planet! 1911 01:41:36,209 --> 01:41:37,501 [breathing heavily] 1912 01:41:37,584 --> 01:41:43,418 And now, uh, there's Riley Bina with her special guest. 1913 01:41:43,501 --> 01:41:45,751 -[people cheering] -I forgot the name. Thank you. 1914 01:41:47,459 --> 01:41:50,709 {\an8}["Just Look Up" playing] 1915 01:41:50,793 --> 01:41:53,793 {\an8}[Riley vocalizing] 1916 01:42:02,168 --> 01:42:08,459 ♪ We knew no bounds Fell at the speed of sound ♪ 1917 01:42:08,543 --> 01:42:14,459 ♪ Riding against all odds but soon Against ourselves ♪ 1918 01:42:16,418 --> 01:42:20,376 ♪ You haunted every memory ♪ 1919 01:42:20,459 --> 01:42:24,168 ♪ With no goodbyes out there for me ♪ 1920 01:42:24,251 --> 01:42:30,251 ♪ Your pride put out the fire In our flame ♪ 1921 01:42:31,293 --> 01:42:34,793 ♪ Then just one look is all it takes ♪ 1922 01:42:34,876 --> 01:42:40,501 ♪ I feel your eyes They're locked on every part of me ♪ 1923 01:42:40,584 --> 01:42:45,334 ♪ And then my dumb heart says ♪ 1924 01:42:45,418 --> 01:42:49,501 ♪ Just look up ♪ 1925 01:42:49,584 --> 01:42:53,209 ♪ There is no place to hide ♪ 1926 01:42:53,293 --> 01:42:55,126 ♪ True love doesn't die ♪ 1927 01:42:55,209 --> 01:42:59,959 ♪ It holds on tight And never lets you go… ♪ 1928 01:43:00,043 --> 01:43:03,709 Is that a rock-solid ten smokeshow of a president or what? 1929 01:43:03,793 --> 01:43:04,709 [people cheering] 1930 01:43:04,793 --> 01:43:06,626 If she wasn't my mother… 1931 01:43:08,334 --> 01:43:10,084 There's three types of American people. 1932 01:43:11,043 --> 01:43:13,209 There are you, the working class. 1933 01:43:13,293 --> 01:43:17,126 Us, the cool rich, and then them. 1934 01:43:17,209 --> 01:43:19,543 [people booing] 1935 01:43:19,626 --> 01:43:21,668 I'm sorry, but we need them. 1936 01:43:22,209 --> 01:43:26,334 We need them because you build us up to fight them. 1937 01:43:26,418 --> 01:43:28,584 The working class, the lower. 1938 01:43:28,668 --> 01:43:30,793 -You understand? -No, I don't get it. 1939 01:43:30,876 --> 01:43:33,084 Do you understand? I'm talking about… 1940 01:43:33,168 --> 01:43:35,043 I'm talking about nutritionists. 1941 01:43:35,584 --> 01:43:37,709 I'm talking about personal trainers, 1942 01:43:38,543 --> 01:43:40,168 people at the spa, 1943 01:43:40,251 --> 01:43:43,168 but not the ones that check you in and they're not the masseuses, 1944 01:43:43,251 --> 01:43:45,793 but they walk you down the corridor. 1945 01:43:45,876 --> 01:43:46,793 They're there… 1946 01:43:46,876 --> 01:43:49,376 ♪ Know I let you down A nigga can't deny it ♪ 1947 01:43:50,584 --> 01:43:53,209 ♪ And there's so much that we're losin' Yes, that matters ♪ 1948 01:43:53,293 --> 01:43:56,584 ♪ I've been dealin' with madness Wasn't the man you needed ♪ 1949 01:43:57,293 --> 01:44:00,543 ♪ You dealin' with sadness Truthfully, it's all on me… ♪ 1950 01:44:01,334 --> 01:44:04,126 -[Oglethorpe] Divest from BASH when? -[people] Divest now! 1951 01:44:04,209 --> 01:44:05,876 Divest from BASH when? 1952 01:44:07,834 --> 01:44:08,918 ♪ Time is oh so precious… ♪ 1953 01:44:09,001 --> 01:44:10,584 We will not be quiet! 1954 01:44:11,626 --> 01:44:15,001 ♪ Take my hand, baby I'll never leave you, Riley ♪ 1955 01:44:15,084 --> 01:44:19,418 ♪ Though what he's really trying to say ♪ 1956 01:44:19,501 --> 01:44:23,126 ♪ Is get your head out of your ass ♪ 1957 01:44:23,209 --> 01:44:29,959 ♪ Listen to the goddamn Qualified scientists ♪ 1958 01:44:30,043 --> 01:44:33,459 ♪ We really fucked it up Fucked it up this time ♪ 1959 01:44:33,543 --> 01:44:37,376 ♪ It's so close I can feel the heat big-time ♪ 1960 01:44:37,459 --> 01:44:41,043 ♪ And you can act Like everything is all right ♪ 1961 01:44:41,126 --> 01:44:44,834 ♪ But this is probably Happening in real time ♪ 1962 01:44:44,918 --> 01:44:47,834 ♪ Celebrate or cry or pray ♪ 1963 01:44:47,918 --> 01:44:53,209 ♪ Whatever it takes To get you through the mess that we made ♪ 1964 01:44:53,293 --> 01:44:58,251 ♪ 'Cause tomorrow may never come ♪ 1965 01:44:58,334 --> 01:45:02,668 ♪ Just look up ♪ 1966 01:45:02,751 --> 01:45:06,334 ♪ Turn off the shitbox news ♪ 1967 01:45:06,418 --> 01:45:09,376 ♪ 'Cause you're about to die soon Everybody ♪ 1968 01:45:09,459 --> 01:45:13,251 [vocalizing] 1969 01:45:13,334 --> 01:45:15,043 ♪ Look up… ♪ 1970 01:45:15,126 --> 01:45:16,584 [cell phone ringing] 1971 01:45:18,543 --> 01:45:19,626 [Oglethorpe] Oh. 1972 01:45:20,584 --> 01:45:23,876 Hey, good afternoon, Adam. What do I owe the pleasure of this call? 1973 01:45:30,084 --> 01:45:31,084 What time? 1974 01:45:33,876 --> 01:45:35,459 [explosion] 1975 01:45:38,834 --> 01:45:41,751 Well, uh… Well, thank you for calling. 1976 01:45:41,834 --> 01:45:42,751 Um… 1977 01:45:44,168 --> 01:45:45,168 Yeah. 1978 01:45:56,168 --> 01:45:58,626 [indistinct conversation] 1979 01:46:01,626 --> 01:46:02,584 What? 1980 01:46:06,001 --> 01:46:07,001 What? 1981 01:46:09,959 --> 01:46:14,751 Orlean and BASH cut Russia, India, and China 1982 01:46:16,001 --> 01:46:17,418 out of the rights for the minerals. 1983 01:46:17,501 --> 01:46:20,959 So they tried their own joint deflection mission, 1984 01:46:21,043 --> 01:46:25,751 but, uh… approximately 40 minutes ago, 1985 01:46:26,626 --> 01:46:33,043 there was a massive explosion detected at the Russian's Baikonur launch complex. 1986 01:46:35,501 --> 01:46:37,709 So it looks like the mission failed. 1987 01:46:42,834 --> 01:46:44,043 That's it? 1988 01:46:45,959 --> 01:46:47,043 [hesitates] 1989 01:46:47,126 --> 01:46:48,709 What do you mean, "that's it?" 1990 01:46:52,126 --> 01:46:53,168 Teddy? 1991 01:46:56,501 --> 01:46:57,376 Right? 1992 01:47:03,209 --> 01:47:07,043 There is still the BASH mission. It's all we have now. 1993 01:47:14,126 --> 01:47:15,126 [Mindy] Fuck! 1994 01:47:15,209 --> 01:47:17,376 ["Just Like Paradise" playing on speakers] 1995 01:47:21,876 --> 01:47:23,293 [people cheering] 1996 01:47:27,334 --> 01:47:30,126 These Just Look Uppers 1997 01:47:30,209 --> 01:47:35,876 want millions of illegal Chileans to come across the border. 1998 01:47:35,959 --> 01:47:36,834 [people chanting] 1999 01:47:36,918 --> 01:47:40,334 [all chanting] Don't look up. 2000 01:47:44,584 --> 01:47:46,334 The hell is that? 2001 01:47:47,626 --> 01:47:49,043 [people continue chanting] 2002 01:47:52,459 --> 01:47:54,626 Fucking lied to us. 2003 01:47:56,168 --> 01:47:59,084 -The president just texted me. -[glass shattering] 2004 01:47:59,168 --> 01:48:02,626 -"Don't trip. It's all good. Don't trip." -[people shouting and booing] 2005 01:48:05,043 --> 01:48:06,043 Hey, now. 2006 01:48:06,626 --> 01:48:09,293 You cut my face, you fucking rednecks! 2007 01:48:14,626 --> 01:48:16,918 [wind blowing] 2008 01:48:22,084 --> 01:48:24,418 [Yule] Man, there hasn't been a car in, like, an hour. 2009 01:48:25,918 --> 01:48:28,584 [Mindy] Yep. Everyone's watching the BASH launch. 2010 01:48:31,084 --> 01:48:32,376 What are we doing again? 2011 01:48:35,043 --> 01:48:39,459 I told you. We're, uh… We're gonna go buy some groceries. 2012 01:48:43,084 --> 01:48:44,959 [song playing on radio] 2013 01:48:45,626 --> 01:48:46,876 [volume increases] 2014 01:48:48,084 --> 01:48:53,293 The Mills Brothers. Great band. You know, Duke Ellington found this band. 2015 01:48:56,001 --> 01:49:00,043 I think they were originally called the Four Kings of Harmony. 2016 01:49:01,584 --> 01:49:05,709 ♪ We'll call on each memory Till then… ♪ 2017 01:49:05,793 --> 01:49:08,251 "Till Then," this is the song. It's about, uh… 2018 01:49:09,251 --> 01:49:11,501 It's about soldiers going off to World War II 2019 01:49:11,584 --> 01:49:13,418 and thinking about home. 2020 01:49:16,668 --> 01:49:17,751 Listen to this part. 2021 01:49:17,834 --> 01:49:21,001 ♪ Although there are oceans… ♪ 2022 01:49:21,084 --> 01:49:27,084 "Although there are oceans we must cross and mountains that we must climb…" 2023 01:49:28,584 --> 01:49:31,584 ♪ I know every gain… ♪ 2024 01:49:31,668 --> 01:49:34,751 "I know that every gain must have a loss." 2025 01:49:34,834 --> 01:49:36,668 ♪ So pray that our loss… ♪ 2026 01:49:36,751 --> 01:49:40,751 "So pray that our loss is nothing but time." 2027 01:49:40,834 --> 01:49:46,501 ♪ Till then, let's dream Of what there will be ♪ 2028 01:49:46,584 --> 01:49:49,126 -[Yule] Okay, I gotta ask you something. -What? 2029 01:49:51,709 --> 01:49:53,709 Dr. Mindy, can I be vulnerable in your car? 2030 01:49:53,793 --> 01:49:55,168 [Mindy] Yeah, go ahead. 2031 01:49:57,126 --> 01:49:58,918 I've never met anyone like you 2032 01:49:59,001 --> 01:50:01,209 and I feel a connection to you on a level that… 2033 01:50:04,376 --> 01:50:06,293 I don't know, I haven't felt with anyone else, 2034 01:50:06,376 --> 01:50:08,418 and going out on a limb, 2035 01:50:08,501 --> 01:50:10,501 but would you want to spend more time together? 2036 01:50:10,584 --> 01:50:15,001 -[song stops playing] -Maybe even get engaged or something? 2037 01:50:15,084 --> 01:50:16,126 [chuckles] 2038 01:50:16,209 --> 01:50:18,043 -Wow. -[Yule] Are you laughing? 2039 01:50:18,918 --> 01:50:20,168 -No? -[Kate] I'm smiling. 2040 01:50:21,584 --> 01:50:23,584 -Well, sure. -[Mindy] This is sweet. 2041 01:50:23,668 --> 01:50:26,918 -Why not? -This is pretty sweet. 2042 01:50:29,668 --> 01:50:33,376 [rumbling] 2043 01:50:37,334 --> 01:50:41,834 [Orlean hesitates] And you read the tea leaves for Dr. Mindy. 2044 01:50:41,918 --> 01:50:43,918 -You showed him the algorithm. -[Peter] Oh, yeah. 2045 01:50:44,001 --> 01:50:46,084 [Orlean] You really shook him with that information. 2046 01:50:46,168 --> 01:50:48,959 -How he was gonna die. -[Peter] Yeah, it is shaking. 2047 01:50:49,668 --> 01:50:51,959 It got me so excited to know about my own death. 2048 01:50:52,043 --> 01:50:53,834 [both laughing] 2049 01:50:54,626 --> 01:50:57,251 I don't think I wanna know. Yes, I do. I wanna to know. 2050 01:50:57,334 --> 01:51:01,584 You're gonna be eaten by a Bronteroc. We don't know what it means. 2051 01:51:01,668 --> 01:51:03,626 -A what? -A Bronteroc. 2052 01:51:05,251 --> 01:51:07,751 -Oh. -Okay, people, we have clear skies. 2053 01:51:07,834 --> 01:51:09,501 [pensive music playing] 2054 01:51:09,584 --> 01:51:12,793 And we are a go for the BEAD launch. 2055 01:51:12,876 --> 01:51:14,001 Madam President? 2056 01:51:14,084 --> 01:51:18,626 Citizens of planet Earth. Now… 2057 01:51:19,584 --> 01:51:23,293 Look at this, Kate. They have wild salmon. 2058 01:51:23,376 --> 01:51:26,459 Look at the difference between that and the farm-raised stuff. 2059 01:51:26,543 --> 01:51:29,751 You see how that looks just… I don't know. Looks fake, right? 2060 01:51:30,876 --> 01:51:33,418 Hey, why don't you go find some, uh… 2061 01:51:33,501 --> 01:51:36,001 What are the little potatoes called, the tiny ones? 2062 01:51:36,084 --> 01:51:37,209 -Fingerling potatoes? -Yeah. 2063 01:51:37,293 --> 01:51:39,793 -I fucking love fingerling potatoes. -Let's get finger… 2064 01:51:39,876 --> 01:51:41,376 Do you wanna say something too? 2065 01:51:41,459 --> 01:51:42,751 That was beautiful. Yeah. 2066 01:51:43,709 --> 01:51:47,834 What up, world? Jason Orlean, uh, Chief of Staff, United States. 2067 01:51:47,918 --> 01:51:48,876 Um… 2068 01:51:49,918 --> 01:51:53,501 I've been noticing a lot of prayers recently for people during this time 2069 01:51:54,334 --> 01:51:55,793 and I commend that, um, 2070 01:51:55,876 --> 01:52:02,168 but I also wanna give a prayer for stuff. 2071 01:52:03,668 --> 01:52:08,959 There's dope stuff, like material stuff, like sick apartments and watches, 2072 01:52:09,043 --> 01:52:11,793 and cars, um, and clothes and shit 2073 01:52:11,876 --> 01:52:16,459 that could all go away and I don't wanna see that stuff go away. 2074 01:52:16,543 --> 01:52:18,876 So I'm gonna say a prayer for that stuff. Amen. 2075 01:52:22,001 --> 01:52:25,084 [man on TV] Just a quiet trepidation among this much smaller crowd. 2076 01:52:25,168 --> 01:52:27,043 I can hear the sounds of some people praying. 2077 01:52:27,126 --> 01:52:29,209 [Peter] Okay, Anderson, let's go get it. 2078 01:52:29,293 --> 01:52:32,543 Yes, sir. Here we go, people. 2079 01:52:33,334 --> 01:52:34,168 Ten. 2080 01:52:34,251 --> 01:52:41,168 Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, 2081 01:52:41,876 --> 01:52:43,918 five, four… 2082 01:52:46,834 --> 01:52:48,834 [uneasy music playing] 2083 01:52:55,543 --> 01:52:56,668 [doorbell rings] 2084 01:53:02,709 --> 01:53:03,543 Hey. 2085 01:53:05,001 --> 01:53:05,834 Hi. 2086 01:53:05,918 --> 01:53:07,751 [flames roaring] 2087 01:53:09,209 --> 01:53:11,584 [dramatic music playing] 2088 01:53:16,626 --> 01:53:19,584 We, uh, got some groceries. 2089 01:53:21,001 --> 01:53:23,584 [dramatic music playing] 2090 01:53:28,959 --> 01:53:30,334 Yo, what was that? 2091 01:53:30,418 --> 01:53:32,334 -We lost BEAD number 12. -[alarm blaring] 2092 01:53:35,251 --> 01:53:36,876 [man] BEAD number 22 failed to launch. 2093 01:53:37,751 --> 01:53:40,584 It's fine. It's fine. 2094 01:53:40,668 --> 01:53:44,709 We had anticipated a margin for error. 2095 01:53:44,793 --> 01:53:46,293 Everything is fine. 2096 01:53:46,376 --> 01:53:50,876 I was hoping we could, um, have a family dinner. 2097 01:53:50,959 --> 01:53:52,334 [Evan and Marshall] Hey, Dad. 2098 01:53:52,418 --> 01:53:54,501 -Hey, guys. Hey. -Hey. 2099 01:54:00,876 --> 01:54:01,793 What do you say? 2100 01:54:04,209 --> 01:54:05,043 Yeah. 2101 01:54:05,959 --> 01:54:07,334 -[Mindy] Thank you. -Yeah. 2102 01:54:07,834 --> 01:54:10,043 -This is, uh… This is Kate. -Oh, hi. 2103 01:54:10,126 --> 01:54:11,959 -Hello. Hi, Kate. -Let me grab those bags. 2104 01:54:12,043 --> 01:54:13,793 -Nice to meet you. I'm Yule. -Yule. 2105 01:54:13,876 --> 01:54:16,043 I'm FirePuma142 on Twitch. You game? 2106 01:54:16,668 --> 01:54:18,168 It's really doubtful she knows. 2107 01:54:18,251 --> 01:54:19,876 -You're right. -Who said I game? 2108 01:54:21,043 --> 01:54:23,376 I… I got these for you. 2109 01:54:25,251 --> 01:54:27,209 Thank you. That's really sweet, honey. 2110 01:54:33,418 --> 01:54:35,418 I'm so sorry. You have no idea. 2111 01:54:37,251 --> 01:54:39,959 -I really am. -[sighs] I know. I know. 2112 01:54:40,793 --> 01:54:43,918 -I've missed you. -I missed you so much. 2113 01:54:50,918 --> 01:54:53,668 When we dated in college, I fucked Aaron Tran. 2114 01:54:55,918 --> 01:54:56,751 Oh? 2115 01:54:57,376 --> 01:54:58,751 Yeah, so, uh… 2116 01:55:02,501 --> 01:55:04,084 [Motown song playing on speakers] 2117 01:55:04,168 --> 01:55:05,668 [indistinct chatter] 2118 01:55:14,584 --> 01:55:16,876 -That is really good. -Really good, right? 2119 01:55:27,751 --> 01:55:30,043 -Hey, everybody. -Hey! 2120 01:55:30,126 --> 01:55:32,834 -Sorry I'm late, but not empty-handed. -Hey, my friend. 2121 01:55:33,918 --> 01:55:37,418 Evan, Marshall, June, this is Dr. Oglethorpe. 2122 01:55:37,501 --> 01:55:39,168 [indistinct chatter] 2123 01:55:39,251 --> 01:55:41,251 [dramatic music playing] 2124 01:55:52,043 --> 01:55:54,918 BEADs have approached optimal escape velocity 2125 01:55:55,001 --> 01:55:59,668 and now approaching Comet Dibiasky and are ready for attachment mode. 2126 01:56:12,793 --> 01:56:14,084 -[crash on video] -[gasps] 2127 01:56:15,043 --> 01:56:17,668 -[alarm blaring] -Uh… Okay. All right. 2128 01:56:17,751 --> 01:56:20,876 Eight and 27 are lost due to lateral control malfunction. 2129 01:56:21,793 --> 01:56:24,709 Okay, so, now… Now, Peter… 2130 01:56:24,793 --> 01:56:29,001 Peter, we're six drones down. Is this thing still gonna work? 2131 01:56:29,084 --> 01:56:34,918 Well, the engineer's assured me that yes, 24 drones is enough. 2132 01:56:36,001 --> 01:56:39,001 Well, how many can we lose? 2133 01:56:41,626 --> 01:56:43,126 [hesitates] How many more? 2134 01:56:43,209 --> 01:56:44,834 [alarm blaring] 2135 01:56:46,668 --> 01:56:50,293 {\an8}We're being told that several of the BEADS have exploded on launch. 2136 01:56:51,334 --> 01:56:54,168 -Got the head seat right there. -[Oglethorpe chuckles] 2137 01:56:54,251 --> 01:56:56,834 You're way too kind, Randall. Thank you. 2138 01:56:56,918 --> 01:56:57,918 [Mindy] Big Doctor. 2139 01:56:58,001 --> 01:56:59,209 Do you want more wine? 2140 01:57:00,334 --> 01:57:02,334 -Hey, cheers, everyone. Huh? -[Oglethorpe] Cheers. 2141 01:57:02,418 --> 01:57:03,459 -Cheers. -[Mindy] Love you. 2142 01:57:03,543 --> 01:57:05,293 -Love you. -Thank you so much for having us. 2143 01:57:05,376 --> 01:57:06,626 Thank you for being here. 2144 01:57:06,709 --> 01:57:08,251 -It's so special. -Thank you. 2145 01:57:08,334 --> 01:57:10,334 [dramatic music playing] 2146 01:57:21,001 --> 01:57:24,209 Commence simultaneous explosive separation stage now. 2147 01:57:26,168 --> 01:57:27,501 -[gasps] -[alarm blaring] 2148 01:57:27,584 --> 01:57:29,751 [Jason] Yo. Yo. Mom. 2149 01:57:29,834 --> 01:57:33,043 [dramatic music playing] 2150 01:57:39,751 --> 01:57:40,793 [Oglethorpe] Beautiful. 2151 01:57:41,376 --> 01:57:43,293 -[Mindy] Thank you, pal. -Yeah. 2152 01:57:43,376 --> 01:57:48,126 Yeah, it really is. And it's really good to have you home. 2153 01:57:49,793 --> 01:57:51,543 [Kate] Dr. Mindy got really famous. 2154 01:57:51,626 --> 01:57:54,168 Oh. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. 2155 01:57:54,251 --> 01:57:55,834 -That's right. Okay. -[laughter] 2156 01:57:56,751 --> 01:58:00,668 Yep, I was on, uh, magazine covers and everything. I know. 2157 01:58:01,334 --> 01:58:03,418 -[Kate] You looked great. -I'll take your shots. 2158 01:58:03,501 --> 01:58:04,584 [laughter] 2159 01:58:06,959 --> 01:58:07,793 [kisses] 2160 01:58:07,876 --> 01:58:09,501 -[Mrs. Mindy] I love you. -Love you too. 2161 01:58:10,918 --> 01:58:13,543 -[intense music playing] -All right. We need a report. 2162 01:58:13,626 --> 01:58:16,209 Need a full status report on the explosive devices. 2163 01:58:16,293 --> 01:58:19,459 Get on it. Still waiting for a full status report. 2164 01:58:19,543 --> 01:58:21,376 -[cell phone ringing] -[gasps] 2165 01:58:21,459 --> 01:58:22,501 [Anderson] All right. 2166 01:58:22,584 --> 01:58:27,668 [breathing heavily] President Qi of China says that the comet is still whole. 2167 01:58:27,751 --> 01:58:29,834 We got four misfires and sync was off. 2168 01:58:30,668 --> 01:58:31,668 It's still intact. 2169 01:58:31,751 --> 01:58:32,918 [Peter] What was that? 2170 01:58:33,584 --> 01:58:36,001 We've got four misfires and the sync was off. 2171 01:58:36,834 --> 01:58:41,001 Okay. We're all fine. Everyone's fine. 2172 01:58:41,751 --> 01:58:44,834 It's gonna be all right. If you'll excuse me. [chuckles] 2173 01:58:44,918 --> 01:58:46,168 Nature calls. 2174 01:58:46,251 --> 01:58:49,251 I'm just gonna go to the restroom for a moment. 2175 01:58:52,709 --> 01:58:55,584 Yes, uh, I think that I should also step out 2176 01:58:55,668 --> 01:58:57,376 to the restroom for a moment. 2177 01:58:58,584 --> 01:59:01,084 -[alarm continues blaring] -[indistinct chatter] 2178 01:59:03,626 --> 01:59:05,626 -[Jason] Should I… -No, I'll be fine. 2179 01:59:06,668 --> 01:59:08,168 Sir, the president. 2180 01:59:08,918 --> 01:59:11,043 We need to know what the mission status is. 2181 01:59:13,209 --> 01:59:14,793 She's coming right back. 2182 01:59:15,459 --> 01:59:18,084 Screw this. I'm going to see my husband. 2183 01:59:19,584 --> 01:59:21,293 [people clamoring] 2184 01:59:21,376 --> 01:59:24,668 I'm sorry. I've got a 20-year-old daughter. I've got to go see her. 2185 01:59:25,334 --> 01:59:26,668 [man] I'm doin' an 8-ball. 2186 01:59:27,834 --> 01:59:28,876 [woman] Oh, shit! 2187 01:59:28,959 --> 01:59:30,668 She's coming. She's coming back. 2188 01:59:30,751 --> 01:59:32,251 [people clamoring in panic] 2189 01:59:37,084 --> 01:59:39,293 [Orlean] Hello, there's a ship. 2190 01:59:39,834 --> 01:59:43,959 In case we were wrong, and clearly, we were wrong. 2191 01:59:44,043 --> 01:59:46,501 Of course you've got a ship. 2192 01:59:46,584 --> 01:59:48,168 [Orlean] It holds 2,000. 2193 01:59:48,251 --> 01:59:51,501 It's state-of-the-art cryo-chambers, and it's set to find 2194 01:59:51,584 --> 01:59:54,709 the nearest Earth-like planet in a Goldilocks Zone so… 2195 01:59:54,793 --> 01:59:55,668 Hmm. 2196 01:59:55,751 --> 01:59:57,168 There's room for you and one other. 2197 01:59:58,209 --> 02:00:00,293 Brie, your wife, your call. 2198 02:00:02,751 --> 02:00:09,543 I'm good, but thank you for the offer. You, uh… You have fun with Jason. 2199 02:00:11,584 --> 02:00:12,543 Jason? 2200 02:00:15,293 --> 02:00:16,418 Oh, shit. 2201 02:00:17,043 --> 02:00:18,626 [alarm blaring] 2202 02:00:20,126 --> 02:00:21,126 She's coming back. 2203 02:00:22,168 --> 02:00:24,168 [uneasy music playing] 2204 02:00:30,168 --> 02:00:33,084 I'm thankful for that night I fell asleep out in the backyard. 2205 02:00:33,834 --> 02:00:36,209 -Woke up face-to-face with a baby deer. -I remember that. 2206 02:00:36,293 --> 02:00:38,751 -Yeah. -Yep. It was the best day of my life. 2207 02:00:40,834 --> 02:00:41,751 [kisses] 2208 02:00:50,209 --> 02:00:51,418 I'm grateful… 2209 02:00:58,793 --> 02:01:00,709 [shakily] I'm grateful we tried. 2210 02:01:03,584 --> 02:01:06,043 Man, oh, man, did we try. 2211 02:01:08,501 --> 02:01:13,834 Well, we're not the most religious here in the Mindy household, 2212 02:01:13,918 --> 02:01:17,543 but, um, maybe we should say "amen"? Should we do that? 2213 02:01:17,626 --> 02:01:19,084 [Mrs. Mindy] Don't look at me. 2214 02:01:19,918 --> 02:01:23,876 [chuckling] I don't know how to… What, you just say, "Amen"? I don't… 2215 02:01:24,584 --> 02:01:25,793 -I got this. -Wrap it up? 2216 02:01:26,459 --> 02:01:27,293 I got it. 2217 02:01:38,793 --> 02:01:41,043 Dearest Father and Almighty Creator… 2218 02:01:42,709 --> 02:01:43,751 [sighs] 2219 02:01:44,918 --> 02:01:48,751 …we ask for Your grace tonight, despite our pride. 2220 02:01:50,459 --> 02:01:54,334 Your forgiveness, despite our doubt. 2221 02:01:57,668 --> 02:01:59,168 Most of all, Lord… 2222 02:02:01,168 --> 02:02:05,834 we ask for Your love to soothe us through these dark times. 2223 02:02:08,334 --> 02:02:10,543 May we face whatever is to come… 2224 02:02:10,626 --> 02:02:12,751 [music continues playing] 2225 02:02:12,834 --> 02:02:18,626 …in Your divine will with courage and open hearts of acceptance. 2226 02:02:21,876 --> 02:02:24,334 -Amen. -[Oglethorpe] Amen. 2227 02:02:25,584 --> 02:02:27,751 Wow. Youse got some church game. 2228 02:02:29,668 --> 02:02:30,793 That was beautiful. 2229 02:02:34,209 --> 02:02:36,168 {\an8}The comet remains intact. 2230 02:02:36,251 --> 02:02:39,209 {\an8}[people clamoring in panic] 2231 02:02:42,918 --> 02:02:44,584 We just never… [sighs] 2232 02:02:46,793 --> 02:02:50,251 Of course, there's only one story everyone's talking about tonight. 2233 02:02:50,834 --> 02:02:52,834 Topless urgent care centers. 2234 02:02:53,501 --> 02:02:56,876 [people clamoring] 2235 02:02:58,876 --> 02:02:59,959 [gunfire] 2236 02:03:03,043 --> 02:03:04,501 [sighs] Sit. 2237 02:03:06,501 --> 02:03:10,834 Or… we can fuck… 2238 02:03:10,918 --> 02:03:12,793 [breathing heavily] 2239 02:03:12,876 --> 02:03:14,709 …or pray, or… 2240 02:03:18,834 --> 02:03:22,334 Honestly, I think I'd just rather drink and… 2241 02:03:24,293 --> 02:03:25,959 talk shit about people. 2242 02:03:27,251 --> 02:03:29,751 [rapid gunfire] 2243 02:03:32,251 --> 02:03:33,876 You'll never take me alive! 2244 02:03:37,084 --> 02:03:38,001 Look out! 2245 02:03:38,584 --> 02:03:39,793 [dog barking] 2246 02:03:47,543 --> 02:03:49,084 [indistinct chatter on TV] 2247 02:03:53,251 --> 02:03:54,918 -[grunting] -[woman screaming] 2248 02:04:02,126 --> 02:04:03,959 [people screaming] 2249 02:04:09,709 --> 02:04:10,834 [birds chirping] 2250 02:04:25,876 --> 02:04:27,459 [shouting] 2251 02:04:29,001 --> 02:04:30,043 [indistinct chatter] 2252 02:04:30,126 --> 02:04:32,959 I'm definitely gonna have some more of this apple pie. It's so good. 2253 02:04:33,043 --> 02:04:35,834 It's actually store-bought, but you really can't tell. 2254 02:04:37,709 --> 02:04:42,251 If I'm to be completely honest, which at this moment, why not? 2255 02:04:43,251 --> 02:04:46,959 I actually like the junky taste of store-bought better than homemade. 2256 02:04:47,709 --> 02:04:48,709 You gotta be kidding me. 2257 02:04:48,793 --> 02:04:52,209 No, I'm not kidding. 2258 02:04:53,501 --> 02:04:56,709 You know what? I know what he means. It's like a childhood memory thing. 2259 02:04:59,751 --> 02:05:02,584 [piano music playing] 2260 02:05:02,668 --> 02:05:04,584 [people clamoring] 2261 02:05:06,668 --> 02:05:08,501 [explosions] 2262 02:05:16,251 --> 02:05:19,251 [music continues playing] 2263 02:05:30,168 --> 02:05:31,626 [electricity crackling] 2264 02:05:31,709 --> 02:05:33,626 Nothing is better than homemade, right? 2265 02:05:33,709 --> 02:05:37,251 This coffee doesn't taste store-bought. Is it? 2266 02:05:37,334 --> 02:05:39,709 I grind my own beans. Yeah. 2267 02:05:39,793 --> 02:05:41,418 Yeah, Dad's kind of a coffee nut. 2268 02:05:41,501 --> 02:05:43,751 Every time you have coffee, you have to grind your beans? 2269 02:05:44,751 --> 02:05:48,709 Randall is very particular about his coffee. 2270 02:05:48,793 --> 02:05:50,418 [Kate] I can get that way about tea. 2271 02:05:50,501 --> 02:05:51,543 [utensils clattering] 2272 02:05:53,251 --> 02:05:55,584 Thing of it is, we really… 2273 02:05:57,668 --> 02:05:59,876 We really did have everything, didn't we? 2274 02:06:02,126 --> 02:06:04,543 I mean, when you think about it. 2275 02:06:04,626 --> 02:06:06,626 [floor rumbling] 2276 02:06:20,376 --> 02:06:23,376 [music continues playing] 2277 02:06:31,459 --> 02:06:33,251 [explosion] 2278 02:06:33,334 --> 02:06:34,918 [silence] 2279 02:06:37,251 --> 02:06:40,251 ["Second Nature" playing] 2280 02:06:41,501 --> 02:06:43,709 ♪ Is this our first? ♪ 2281 02:06:45,334 --> 02:06:47,293 ♪ Or second nature? ♪ 2282 02:06:49,584 --> 02:06:52,626 ♪ When's that Rapture? ♪ 2283 02:06:52,709 --> 02:06:55,084 ♪ Will there be merch? ♪ 2284 02:06:57,043 --> 02:07:00,876 ♪ Where is Mother? She was a stunner ♪ 2285 02:07:00,959 --> 02:07:02,584 Can we page her? ♪ 2286 02:07:04,793 --> 02:07:10,168 ♪ What mine eyes have seen Could really take the purse ♪ 2287 02:07:12,334 --> 02:07:14,459 ♪ Are we chumps now? ♪ 2288 02:07:15,668 --> 02:07:17,793 ♪ Or are we fakers? ♪ 2289 02:07:20,501 --> 02:07:24,584 ♪ Parade around or get in work? ♪ 2290 02:07:26,334 --> 02:07:28,376 ♪ Or just deserve? ♪ 2291 02:07:30,001 --> 02:07:32,793 {\an8}♪ We will see you next time ♪ 2292 02:07:34,001 --> 02:07:36,501 {\an8}♪ There'll be water in the rain ♪ 2293 02:07:37,584 --> 02:07:40,709 {\an8}♪ Territories pay fines ♪ 2294 02:07:41,501 --> 02:07:43,668 {\an8}♪ All long day ♪ 2295 02:07:45,126 --> 02:07:47,126 {\an8}♪ All may not be just fine ♪ 2296 02:07:49,543 --> 02:07:52,793 {\an8}♪ There is another fate, a way ♪ 2297 02:07:52,876 --> 02:07:55,293 {\an8}♪ To not be too late ♪ 2298 02:07:55,918 --> 02:07:58,168 {\an8}♪ All obfuscate ♪ 2299 02:08:51,084 --> 02:08:52,918 ["Second Nature" continues playing] 2300 02:09:36,793 --> 02:09:39,959 [Peter] Hey, oxygen is actually higher than on Earth 2301 02:09:40,043 --> 02:09:41,209 by nine percent, 2302 02:09:41,293 --> 02:09:43,876 so you might feel a bit light-headed. 2303 02:09:44,709 --> 02:09:48,251 And cryo-chambers were 58% successful, 2304 02:09:48,334 --> 02:09:50,626 which is much better than anticipated. 2305 02:09:50,709 --> 02:09:53,834 Yeah, we only had 47 dead in our section, so… 2306 02:09:54,626 --> 02:09:59,043 I think this is gonna work out quite well. Quite well, indeed. 2307 02:09:59,126 --> 02:09:59,959 Goodness. 2308 02:10:00,043 --> 02:10:05,668 -[gasps] Look at that beautiful animal. -[squawking] 2309 02:10:05,751 --> 02:10:09,751 I wonder, are those feathers or are they scale-- 2310 02:10:09,834 --> 02:10:11,876 -[screams] -[people gasping] 2311 02:10:12,751 --> 02:10:15,001 -That's disgusting. -What is that thing? 2312 02:10:15,709 --> 02:10:18,168 I believe that's called a Bronteroc. 2313 02:10:18,251 --> 02:10:19,543 [flesh tearing] 2314 02:10:19,626 --> 02:10:20,876 [Bronteroc squawking] 2315 02:10:20,959 --> 02:10:24,168 Uh… Whatever you do, don't pet them. 2316 02:10:24,918 --> 02:10:27,168 {\an8}We will see you next time ♪ 2317 02:10:29,043 --> 02:10:31,668 {\an8}♪ There'll be water in the rain ♪ 2318 02:10:32,501 --> 02:10:35,209 {\an8}♪ Territories pay fines ♪ 2319 02:10:36,001 --> 02:10:38,918 {\an8}♪ All long day ♪ 2320 02:10:40,001 --> 02:10:41,918 {\an8}♪ All may not be just fine ♪ 2321 02:10:44,459 --> 02:10:47,918 {\an8}♪ There is another fate, a way ♪ 2322 02:10:48,001 --> 02:10:50,251 {\an8}♪ To not be too late ♪ 2323 02:10:51,334 --> 02:10:54,084 {\an8}♪ We will see you next time ♪ 2324 02:10:55,418 --> 02:10:58,084 {\an8}♪ There'll be water in the rain ♪ 2325 02:10:58,834 --> 02:11:01,209 {\an8}♪ Territories pay fines ♪ 2326 02:11:02,709 --> 02:11:04,709 {\an8}♪ All long day ♪ 2327 02:11:05,543 --> 02:11:08,626 {\an8}-♪ Say it with me ♪ -♪ All may not be just fine ♪ 2328 02:11:08,709 --> 02:11:10,959 {\an8}♪ All long day ♪ 2329 02:11:11,043 --> 02:11:14,209 {\an8}♪ There is another fate, a way ♪ 2330 02:11:14,293 --> 02:11:16,584 {\an8}♪ To not be too late ♪ 2331 02:11:17,251 --> 02:11:19,751 {\an8}♪ All obfuscate ♪ 2332 02:11:50,043 --> 02:11:52,376 [somber instrumental music plays] 2333 02:14:33,001 --> 02:14:35,543 [upbeat jazz music playing] 2334 02:17:18,126 --> 02:17:19,459 [fire crackling] 2335 02:17:28,209 --> 02:17:29,209 [Jason] Fuck. 2336 02:17:43,543 --> 02:17:44,501 Mom? 2337 02:17:47,501 --> 02:17:48,584 Mom! 2338 02:17:54,168 --> 02:17:55,376 What's up, y'all? 2339 02:17:56,043 --> 02:17:57,501 I'm the last man on Earth. 2340 02:17:58,793 --> 02:18:00,168 Shit's all fucked up. 2341 02:18:00,918 --> 02:18:02,709 Don't forget to like and subscribe. 2342 02:18:03,501 --> 02:18:04,418 We out here. 2343 02:18:07,293 --> 02:18:08,251 Mom!