1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,088 . 2 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:08,049 [whirring] 3 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:18,727 - [groaning] 4 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,357 [groaning] 5 00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:33,783 [whirring stops] 6 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,081 You're early. 7 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,751 - * It's true * 8 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:46,379 * The marriage that we once had now is through * 9 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:50,884 * And now we're doing all that we can do * 10 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:55,013 * To keep us all together as a crew * 11 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:59,017 * Trust, do as we say, not as we do * 12 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,812 * We really thought that we were done * 13 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,732 * But we've just begun * 14 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,695 - Sorry you had to see that. 15 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,238 - So are we. 16 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,075 - Jim, this is the living room. 17 00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:16,409 Why were your pants down? 18 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,911 - Because the pain isn't in my pants. 19 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,746 It's in my glute. 20 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,082 - Jim has always had glute issues, 21 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:24,042 and, oh, how I've missed them. 22 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,753 - Glute issues come from tension. 23 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:27,629 I don't have tension. 24 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,922 - You don't have tension yet. 25 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,090 But you're marrying Julia, 26 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,257 so keep one of those in every room. 27 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,135 - I don't have tension. 28 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,261 - You're asymptomatic, 29 00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:36,471 but you give it to other people. 30 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,265 - Where are the kids, by the way? 31 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,433 - I left them in the woods with some bread. 32 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,143 That was three days ago. 33 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,523 Jimmy's playing video games, and Grace is on TikTok 34 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,483 watching hamsters get married. 35 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:53,154 - And our children's futures grow brighter by the moment. 36 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:54,572 - Yeah, item one, Jimmy's school 37 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,449 gave the kids a career aptitude test, 38 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,201 and it said he should be an evangelist. 39 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,703 - Jesus. - Exactly. 40 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,665 He seems excited about it, so that's good. 41 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:06,418 Although personally, I think those tests are deeply flawed. 42 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,711 - I remember my test. 43 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,170 It said I should run for governor someday. 44 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,131 - Mine said I should map the human genome. 45 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,090 - What about yours, Jim? 46 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,758 What'd it say? 47 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,301 - Doesn't matter. 48 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,345 - Come on. 49 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,723 - It doesn't-- 50 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,266 cranberry farmer. 51 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,976 - [laughs] 52 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,769 - Oh, come on. 53 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,271 I was an 11-year-old boy. 54 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,981 I just happened to have a bladder infection. 55 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,065 - No. - Hey. 56 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,608 Yes, boys can get them. 57 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,736 Boys have bladders, and they get infected. 58 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,237 Whatever. It's fine. 59 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,405 It's fine. 60 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:36,990 OK, item number two. 61 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,950 As you know, it is Grace's 14th birthday tomorrow, 62 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,910 so I booked our special booth at Stornelli's. 63 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,163 Trey, you're gonna love this place. 64 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,331 Family style, spaghetti and meatballs, 65 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,167 big portions, bottomless bread basket. 66 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,376 And it is my treat. 67 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,836 No arguments, OK? 68 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,756 So come hungry and leave that big wallet at home. 69 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,010 - Actually, this year, we have an upgrade. 70 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:58,970 - An upgrade? - Tell him. 71 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,305 - I got us into Takane. 72 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,723 - Isn't that fantastic? 73 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,726 - Oh, my God, that is so fa-- what is Takane? 74 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:09,105 - A new sushi place that no one can get into. 75 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,732 - No one? How are they in business? 76 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,360 - Well, no one but Trey. 77 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,527 He made a call. 78 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,321 - I was happy to do it for you. 79 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,573 And for you, but most of all, for Grace. 80 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,450 And of course, it'll be my treat. 81 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,118 - Thank you, my love. 82 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,370 - Yes, thank you, her love. 83 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,872 But, Trey-- 84 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,916 and I don't blame you for this, because clearly, 85 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:28,875 Julia did not tell you. 86 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,960 She's very busy. 87 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,838 The Kearney family always has birthdays at Stornelli's. 88 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,299 Our pictures are on the wall, for God's sakes. 89 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,510 - Jim, this is Takane. 90 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,262 - I "understand-ay." 91 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,515 - Grace will love it. 92 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,933 She's always been a foodie. 93 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,559 Even all the way back in her nursing days, 94 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,270 she strictly preferred the left breast to the right. 95 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,356 - I go back and forth. 96 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,983 - Yes, you do. 97 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,318 - Hey, hey, I'm right here. 98 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,571 OK, so did Grace actually tell you 99 00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,989 she doesn't want to go to Stornelli's anymore? 100 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,658 - She didn't have to tell me. I know. 101 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,742 - You don't know what Grace knows, 102 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,244 and you know you don't know. 103 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,287 And I know you know you don't know. 104 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,414 We're going to Stornelli's. - Takane. 105 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,581 - Stornelli's. - Jim. 106 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,000 - Julia. - Trey. 107 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,086 [whirring] 108 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:19,509 . 109 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,844 - Now, when Julia and I carefully and painstakingly 110 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,763 mapped out our post-divorce life, 111 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,890 we may have failed to consider a few tiny things. 112 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,394 - Like birthdays, graduations, vacations, first communions, 113 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,354 baptisms, Mother's Day, Father's Day, 114 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,605 Labor Day, Arbor Day. 115 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,566 - OK, now you're just naming days. 116 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,526 So there we were, on our first major occasion, 117 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,819 at an unpredictable impasse. 118 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,320 - It was completely predictable. 119 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,572 People have birthdays every year. 120 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,240 - Or like Julia, every three years. 121 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,533 - That's true. 122 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,285 - So smart people would have said, 123 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,370 "Hey, let's take a breath." - "Let's think it through." 124 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,039 - "Let's figure this out like mature adults." 125 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,248 - But that's not who we are. 126 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,751 - We are the Kearneys. 127 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,047 How could you say yes to Takane without even consulting me? 128 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,882 - Because I thought you'd be thrilled. 129 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,342 Every time we go to Stornelli's, 130 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,344 the meatballs give you diarrhea. 131 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,847 - Yes, but it's diarrhea by choice. 132 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,641 A personal sacrifice I make in the name of parenthood. 133 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,852 A hill I both create and die on. 134 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,937 You're welcome. 135 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,899 - Can you imagine a woman would ever tire of this man? 136 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,777 - [groaning] 137 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,445 [voice warbling] Jim, I am sorry. 138 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,988 I should have consulted you. 139 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,740 - No! You didn't do anything wrong. 140 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,408 All you did was make a birthday plan 141 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,077 for his daughter, your soon-to-be stepdaughter, 142 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,161 without asking him. 143 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,454 - You didn't say I had to ask him. 144 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,580 - I didn't think we had to ask him. 145 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,624 - Well, you had to ask him. 146 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,418 - OK, Jim, can we take Grace to Takane? 147 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,878 - No. 148 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,298 - This is ridiculous. 149 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,301 This man, this generous man, 150 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,303 calls in a giant favor for our Grace, 151 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,097 and all you can do is swat it away? 152 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,890 How do you sleep at night? 153 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:49,974 - I close my eyes. 154 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,309 Sometimes I-- 155 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,103 - You know what I mean. 156 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,813 Ah! Ah! Give me that thing. 157 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,231 Ah! 158 00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,108 - Look, I'm sure Takane is great, 159 00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,276 and I'm not saying I enjoy the diarrhea. 160 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,028 - It would worry me if you did. 161 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,239 - But we are talking about tradition here. 162 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,491 And in this family, our birthday tradition 163 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,992 is we dine at Stornelli's, 164 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,911 and then I go home and uncork my bowels. 165 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,623 - The hell kind of tradition is that? 166 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:14,916 That's the worst thing I've ever heard. 167 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,501 I don't even know what to say anymore. 168 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,004 What kind of conversation is this? 169 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,463 - The kind of conversation you can only have 170 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,007 with Jim Kearney. 171 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,883 - I overstepped. We should go with Jim's plan. 172 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,260 - Well, I think Jim's overstepped, 173 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,261 and we should go with your plan. 174 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:27,220 - Well, I think you overstepped, 175 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,471 and we should go with my plan. 176 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,514 And that makes one vote for Takane 177 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,515 and two votes for Stornelli's. 178 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:31,516 Stornelli's it is. 179 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,101 Prepare the toilets! 180 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,980 - Oh, oh, oh, no, no, not so fast, big guy. 181 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,356 I think we should let Grace decide. 182 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,899 - Mm. Great idea. 183 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,735 We'll force our daughter to choose between her parents, 184 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,069 and then for her birthday present, 185 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,238 we'll get her a big box of therapy. 186 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,948 - This is bad. 187 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,241 - Can I just ask, 188 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,909 how do they never notice the phone? 189 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,202 - Shh! 190 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,163 - If my career test was right, 191 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,706 these people are my flock. 192 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,083 But goodness gracious, do they need help. 193 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,836 - [voice warbling] Whatever Grace decides, 194 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,756 we will all accept it with a smile. 195 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,758 - Why is Mom vibrating? 196 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,718 - Trey, you have hijacked my daughter's birthday. 197 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,553 You are a daughter's birthday hijacker. 198 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,055 - I thought I was doing a nice thing. 199 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,098 - Do you have any idea how many tragic stories 200 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,391 have started with those seven words? 201 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,768 - Eight words. 202 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,479 - Ugh, fine. It'll be all up to Grace. 203 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,357 - No matter what I choose, I'll be disappointing somebody. 204 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,776 - Well, it's your own fault for having a birthday 205 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,611 so soon after the divorce. 206 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,237 - That's a stupid thing to say. 207 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,405 - What do you want? 208 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,157 My dad was a cranberry farmer. 209 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,577 - I wish I knew what to do. 210 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:33,953 - Pray with me. - Stop it. 211 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,082 Oh, Takane has a website. 212 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,124 - Stornelli's doesn't. 213 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,250 - Well, if it did, it would redirect 214 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,919 to Poison Control. 215 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,589 Oh, but Takane looks incredible. 216 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,717 OK, decision made. 217 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,260 We're going to Takane. 218 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,387 - Dad's gonna be crushed. 219 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,388 - Uh, don't worry. 220 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,139 I have a plan. 221 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,183 - The Lord does too. 222 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,685 What's yours? 223 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,645 - I'm not telling you, in case it doesn't work. 224 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,022 - Well, that's not very reassuring. 225 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,817 - You know, for a preacher, you don't have much faith. 226 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,778 I had to break the news to Dad. 227 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,030 He took it pretty well, considering. 228 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,281 - Yeah. 229 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,117 Takane. 230 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,827 Great, Grace. 231 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,246 - Well, anyway, he took it. 232 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,414 That was the easy part. 233 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:23,169 . 234 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:23,670 [upbeat music] 235 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:25,922 - You know what? 236 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,382 This place feels right. - Mm. 237 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,676 - Even the fish in the tank look happy to be here. 238 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,469 And they're gonna be dead in 20 minutes. 239 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,929 - Oh, not those bad boys. 240 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,181 Those are koi, the jewel of the water. 241 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,142 $20,000 each. 242 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,019 - To be worth $20,000, 243 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,520 a fish would have to play the banjo. 244 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,938 - [laughs] 245 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,940 - Dad, are you sure you're happy we came here? 246 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,026 - Does the Pope crap in the woods? 247 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,695 - Don't talk about my boss like that. 248 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,739 - No, I'm happy. [chuckles] 249 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,948 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 250 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:52,866 - 'Cause you're tapping your lips like 251 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,117 you want to say something, 252 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,326 but you can't let it out. 253 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,870 - Oh, no, I'm simply 254 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,788 preparing my lips to receive fish. 255 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,457 Summon the waiter. My lips are ready. 256 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,125 - Oh, there'll be no ordering. 257 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,836 The chef decides the whole meal, start to finish. 258 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,004 - Wait, what if I don't like it? 259 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,797 - Then the Lord will smite you. 260 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:10,175 - Ooh. - Oh. 261 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,259 - [gasps] Oh, my God. 262 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,136 This is the uni with dandelion. 263 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,262 - Oh. 264 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,514 A little on the petite side. 265 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,016 - The better to be delectable. 266 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,267 - Uh-huh. 267 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,603 Does uni have a big brother? 268 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,896 - You're gonna love it, Jim. 269 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:23,772 - OK. 270 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,440 Come here there, little tyke. 271 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,983 Let's see what all the fuss is about 272 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,694 and if the mortgage-like prices are justified 273 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,654 by the flavor of this itty-bitty, little-- 274 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,198 oh, dear glory. 275 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,616 That is the best thing I've ever tasted. 276 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,992 [laughter] 277 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,495 - And now we know why Jesus multiplied the fish. 278 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:39,829 - [laughs] 279 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,498 - Why don't we go look at the koi? 280 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,542 - I need more food first, or I won't survive the journey. 281 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,711 - OK, well, why don't we go look at the koi, 282 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,546 and we can give the adults a chance to talk? 283 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,798 - I can see them from here. 284 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:50,840 You done with your dandelion? 285 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,092 - Why don't we go look at-- 286 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,093 - Look at the koi. 287 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,636 Oh, I get it now. 288 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:55,845 Ow, ow! 289 00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,722 - Grace, Grace, easy on his ear. 290 00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,058 - Jim, I gotta say, I am so happy 291 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,768 that you're enjoying this meal. 292 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,895 - Anybody with a mouth would enjoy the meal. 293 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,188 That was never the issue. 294 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,356 - I know. 295 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,691 The issue was about not being consulted, 296 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:08,858 and I am sorry about that. 297 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,610 - No, that wasn't the issue. 298 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,612 - That wasn't the issue? - Oh, I know. 299 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,155 The issue was about changing tradition. 300 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,199 - Yeah, that wasn't the issue, either. 301 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,909 - Oh. It wasn't? 302 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,868 - Well, it was part of the issue, 303 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:19,994 but it wasn't the issue. 304 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,287 - OK, Jim, well, what was the issue? 305 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,997 Because the restaurant closes at midnight. 306 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,874 - Ah. No need to talk about it. 307 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,292 I gotta go to the men's room. 308 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,877 This place seems like the kind of place 309 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,045 that would have a large tip jar in there. 310 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,547 What's the standard gratuity, Trey? 311 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,382 About 4 grand? 312 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,260 - Like many of us, Jim has issues discussing his issues. 313 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,179 - Oh, no, I have no such issues, or issue issues. 314 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,849 - I'm so glad, because we are all a family now. 315 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,226 - That's right, and families rely on communication. 316 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:46,312 - And communication relies on emotional exhibitionism. 317 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,481 - Yes, so, Jim, 318 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,109 if you need to take off your emotional pants, 319 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:56,281 I want you to know I'm here for you. 320 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,201 - It is spectacularly clear to me 321 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,079 that you two were meant for each other. 322 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,748 Uh, can I write a check in the men's room? 323 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,625 Do you know? Or Venmo? 324 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,377 - You seem agitated, Jim. 325 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,463 You shouldn't pee agitated. 326 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,214 That's how mistakes are made. 327 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,924 Bad for the shoes. 328 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,093 - Look, the issue was 329 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,428 that we didn't know what Grace wanted, 330 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,721 and then we found out. 331 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:22,057 Grace wanted Takane, and so we are here. 332 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,808 Grace is happy, and therefore I am happy. 333 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,685 My heart is full, and as it happens, 334 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:26,770 so is my bladder. 335 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,688 Excuse me. 336 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,192 - Babe, I know I don't speak fluent Jim yet, 337 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,943 but that does not seem like a happy man. 338 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,779 - Yeah. Did--did I miss something? 339 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,280 I didn't, did I? No. 340 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,324 Did I? No. 341 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,161 - Repeat after me. 342 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,288 Tartar sauce. 343 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,248 - Hey, um, Reverend? 344 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,792 - Yes, child? 345 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,503 - I think one of your flock needs you. 346 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,380 - Look, I'm not gonna deny it, you know? 347 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,465 Trey's money allows him to do things for the kids 348 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,925 that I could never do. 349 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,803 When he's around, it's hard not to feel less than. 350 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,304 But am I supposed to just capitulate? 351 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,390 You know, stick out a limp, supplicant paw 352 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,974 and say, "Thank you, Trey, 353 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,434 how do we ever have a happy day without you?" 354 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,688 Fatherhood, man. 355 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,981 What a ride. 356 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,818 I mean, birthdays and youth soccer 357 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,278 and, well, violin recitals. 358 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,823 You ever listen to a five-year-old play violin? 359 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,199 It's horrible. 360 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,534 Horrible. 361 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,369 You can feel it in your teeth. 362 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,620 But you suck it up. 363 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,497 You take video. Later, you watch the video. 364 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,082 Your teeth hurt again. 365 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:32,002 But it doesn't matter because it's your daughter, 366 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,378 and you're her dad. 367 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,338 [sighs] 368 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,590 And then one day, the owner of your favorite sports team 369 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:38,925 falls in love with your ex-wife, 370 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,386 and your daughter forgets all about you. 371 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,595 It hurts. 372 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,556 It really hurts. 373 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,224 Any advice? 374 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,727 - Yeah, I got some advice. 375 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:53,690 Don't talk to strangers in the men's room. 376 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,025 - You said, "How's it going?" 377 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,568 - And you're supposed to say, "Good," 378 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,028 and that's the end of it. 379 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,447 Did I tell you that this is not my real leg? 380 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,865 Or how I lost my real leg? 381 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,325 How much I miss my real leg? 382 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,577 - No, you did not. 383 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,662 - Did I tell you about my future son-in-law, 384 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,955 the love of my daughter's life, 385 00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:12,208 who has a spider tattoo on his face? 386 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,293 Not on his neck. 387 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:14,586 On his face. 388 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,879 Right here. 389 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,423 Daddy long legs. 390 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,799 I did not say that to you. 391 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:20,884 You know why? 392 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,344 Because you don't do it. 393 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,012 Not in a men's room. 394 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:27,140 We've been in here so long, I almost have to go again, 395 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,852 but I am leaving because this has been so unpleasant. 396 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,021 - Wow. 397 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,230 Whatever happened to the kindness of strangers? 398 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,066 - We're not strangers anymore. 399 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,817 I wish we were strangers. 400 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,236 We were meant to be strangers. 401 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:43,114 I know more about your kids than I do my own! 402 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,750 - It smells like dandelions in here. 403 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,251 - Jimmy, never enter a men's room 404 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,796 and say anything like that again. 405 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,131 - Copy that. 406 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:08,014 - How you feeling about your career aptitude test? 407 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,641 Do you know what you'll be when you grow up? 408 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,142 - Hopefully at the big urinal. 409 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,435 This one's humiliating. 410 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,937 - Hmm. 411 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,939 Well, if the preaching thing doesn't work out, 412 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,899 you should give the finance business a shot. 413 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,068 - What's the finance business? 414 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,821 - It's what Trey did before he bought the Celtics. 415 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,364 Now he can buy whatever he wants-- 416 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:27,450 basketball teams, people's affections, 417 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:31,037 teeny-tiny pieces of inarguably sublime fish. 418 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,665 Yeah, if I could do it all over again, 419 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:38,294 I'd have majored in finance instead of beer pong. 420 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:41,006 But let me tell you, if beer pong ever goes professional, 421 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,843 I'm buying the Red Sox, and a cranberry farm. 422 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,722 - But if you'd done anything differently, 423 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,057 then you wouldn't have been you. 424 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:55,478 You wouldn't have married Mom, and I wouldn't exist. 425 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,064 You'd be peeing next to some other kid right now. 426 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,277 - That's-- you make a good point. 427 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,405 Maybe you should be a preacher. 428 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:06,364 You done? 429 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,074 - I've been done for a while, Dad. 430 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,409 I just like talking to you. 431 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,495 [upbeat music] 432 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,539 - For the first time in history, 433 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,499 my brother did what I wanted him to, 434 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,961 and I didn't even have to threaten physical violence. 435 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,629 So we were back on track. 436 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,382 But the most important part of the plan was still ahead. 437 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,385 I know my family, and I knew what was about to happen. 438 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:33,183 . 439 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,059 all: * Happy birthday to you * 440 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,897 - * Ooh * 441 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,357 - Grace, blow out the birthday candle. 442 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,524 - Go easy, though. 443 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:42,525 The whole thing could sail across the room. 444 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,571 - Hey! 445 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,531 [cheers and applause] 446 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,743 - Mmm. - Oh, my God. 447 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,161 - Oh, wow. - Wow. 448 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,621 - Even the birthday cake is incredible. 449 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:55,830 - Mmm. 450 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,541 More like a birthday nibble, but yeah. 451 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,751 Oh. 452 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,211 At least let me get the tip. 453 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,296 Service wasn't that great. 454 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,050 - Wait a second. 455 00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:08,968 That was the whole meal? - Mm-hmm. 456 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,595 - I thought those were just appetizers. 457 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,888 - Reverend, polite. 458 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,682 - Reverend starving. 459 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,766 This is a restaurant. 460 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,142 They have a responsibility. 461 00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,519 - It's their style. - Yes. 462 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,520 Famine. 463 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,688 - [sighs] 464 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:20,772 Can I have some French fries? 465 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,315 - Nothing here is fried. 466 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,942 - What? 467 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,695 Boo! Boo! 468 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:29,030 - Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, what would Jesus do? 469 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,866 - Beats me, but there's about to be one less koi. 470 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,410 - Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 471 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:39,791 - So, um, let me ask, 472 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,043 who besides me would really love 473 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,087 some spaghetti and meatballs right now? 474 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:50,802 - I'm not gonna lie. 475 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,178 I could eat my entire arm. 476 00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:56,016 - Dad, can you save the day? 477 00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,145 - Oh, well, it's a little last-minute, 478 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:03,857 but um, I think I can make a call. 479 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,984 - Let's hope Stornelli's has a phone. 480 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,239 - I didn't realize how much I had asked of Jim, you know, 481 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,658 what it--what it means to a man like him 482 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,577 to be a good dad, the dad, 483 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,746 no matter who else had come along. 484 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,123 - You were less than sensitive. 485 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:22,751 - Yes. 486 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,336 Thank you. 487 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,087 Uh, but fortunately, our daughter, 488 00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:27,630 despite her demeanor sometimes, 489 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:30,550 is actually the most sensitive of us all. 490 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,260 - I knew what the best outcome was, 491 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,221 so I manipulated everyone around me to get it. 492 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,765 - I'm so proud. 493 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,475 [chuckles] 494 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:42,771 [upbeat music] 495 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,397 Mmm. 496 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:45,440 [laughs] 497 00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,649 - You know what I'm thinking? 498 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,276 - That you've been eating for 45 minutes, 499 00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:50,737 so how come your plate's still full? 500 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,405 - It's like the spaghetti is giving birth 501 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,324 to more spaghetti. - Mm. 502 00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,076 - Should we be dreading the aftermath, 503 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,410 little Stornelli's all over the place? 504 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,245 - Nope. Live for the moment. - OK. 505 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:01,581 - Actually, I was thinking 506 00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:04,334 that our children will teach us. 507 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:11,883 - Jim, Grace is learning to embrace Trey 508 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:16,346 because he is a person very much worth embracing, 509 00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:19,766 and he should be welcomed into the family 510 00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:22,394 with tenderness and warmth. 511 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,645 - Thank you. - Still talking. 512 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:25,522 - Sorry. 513 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:30,443 - But she knows that she'll only ever have one dad. 514 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,404 And now you know she knows. 515 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,239 And she knows you know she knows. 516 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,700 And I know you know she knows she knows. 517 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:39,994 And that is worth a billion dandelions. 518 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,789 [sobbing] - I will keep that in mind. 519 00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,625 - I sure hope so, because this was exhausting. 520 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,254 - And I promise that next time, 521 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,214 I will be much more considerate of your feelings 522 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,507 before I dismiss them. 523 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,634 - That's all I ask, a pause of kindness 524 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,094 before being completely disregarded. 525 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,303 - Hmm. 526 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,640 Oh, it's me now? 527 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,351 Because I thought I handled things pretty well. 528 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,312 OK. 529 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,524 Um, I went to MIT. 530 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,235 - Ladies and gentlemen, the 9:17 MIT mention. 531 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:14,112 Right on time. 532 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:19,200 - But my real education started when I joined this family. 533 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:21,786 - What have you learned? 534 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,204 - Well, I've learned that 535 00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,331 I'd rather be full of pasta and love at Stornelli's 536 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,625 than hungry and unloved at Takane. 537 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,420 - Hallelujah. 538 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:33,715 - Oh. 539 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:34,883 When was the last time 540 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,009 somebody picked up a check for you, Trey? 541 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:38,053 - 2002. 542 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,680 - Then it's my pleasure. 543 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,223 - Thank you. 544 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,892 - It's nice having our picture on the wall. 545 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,853 - Well, we're the only ones who've ever come back. 546 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:49,064 - But maybe it's time for a new picture. 547 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,732 - You know what? 548 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:52,067 You're absolutely right. 549 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,651 Can I borrow that? - What? 550 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,445 - Your phone. - Seriously? 551 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,197 - Just for a second. - Where are you going? 552 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,990 - I'm not leaving. - Don't break it. 553 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,367 - I won't. - Where's yours? 554 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:01,743 - In my pocket. - Just use that. 555 00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:03,203 - Yours is newer. 556 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,412 - Fine. 557 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,791 - What's your password? - Never. 558 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:14,464 - How about I get up and take a picture 559 00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,924 of the four of you guys? - No, no, no, no. 560 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,801 You stay right where you are. 561 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,178 Smile, everybody. 562 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,181 [upbeat music] 563 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,184 * * 564 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,311 [toilet flushing] 565 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:34,651 [grunts] 566 00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:56,256 [door slams] 567 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,966 OK, OK. 568 00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:00,844 I was wrong!