1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,088 . 2 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,256 [Dexys Midnight Runners' "Come On Eileen"] 3 00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:08,258 - * Come on, Eileen * 4 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:09,884 * Oh, I swear, well, he means * 5 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,137 * At this moment * 6 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,806 * You mean everything * 7 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,349 * You in that dress * 8 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,184 * My thoughts, I confess * 9 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,437 * Verge on dirty * 10 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:23,231 * Ah, come on, Eileen * 11 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,859 * * 12 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,861 - [spits] 13 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,572 * * 14 00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:31,698 [phone beeps] 15 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,200 [phone rumbling] - * Jim is calling * 16 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,910 * Jim is calling * 17 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:39,205 * You're so lucky 'cause Jim is calling * 18 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,708 Pick up, pick up. - Yo. 19 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,627 - I've been googling. I think I have a dermoid cyst. 20 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:45,754 - A what? 21 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:47,255 - A dermoid cyst. 22 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:50,133 Some of them have hair and teeth. 23 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,469 There's a chance it's my embryonic twin 24 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:55,722 who I devoured when we were sharing our mother's womb. 25 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,557 Take a look. 26 00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,894 - I think it's just a skin tag. Hack it off. 27 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,437 - Hack it off? 28 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,856 Put the axe down, Lizzie Borden. 29 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,399 Ask Trey. He's the genius. 30 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,068 - Trey is sleeping. 31 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,570 - Trey was sleeping. 32 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:11,780 - Hi, hun. 33 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,406 Jim just stumbled upon some kind of growth 34 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,908 under his arm. - Hey, Trey. 35 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,409 Weigh in on this. 36 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,037 So far, we got skin tag or embryonic twin. 37 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,414 - Guys, not now. I gotta sleep. 38 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,083 - He's just psyching himself up to cut the thing off. 39 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,293 - OK. Well, go get 'em, tiger. 40 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,128 I'm rooting for you. Night, night. 41 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,589 - Do it if you can. 42 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,882 And if you chicken out, I'll come by tomorrow 43 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,425 and cut off your junk. 44 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,260 - I beg of you, cut off my twin, 45 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:38,348 but leave my junk. - Please, make it stop. 46 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,849 - See? See? Trey agrees. 47 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,686 We need a protest march with signs and songs. 48 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:46,815 Hands off men's junk. Ooh, actually, bad idea. 49 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,195 - It's Julia. Please, leave a message. 50 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,655 [phone beeps] 51 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,366 - OK, guys, I have resolved to murder 52 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,326 my long lost twin little brother. 53 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:01,287 So, if I die too, 54 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:05,083 please donate both of our bodies to science. 55 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,210 OK, I'm opening the scissors. 56 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:10,964 Three, two, one. 57 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,590 [scissors snip] 58 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,095 Ow! That was so stupid! 59 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,806 - * It's true * 60 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,810 * The marriage that we once had now is through * 61 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:27,981 * And now we're doing all that we can do * 62 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:31,985 * To keep us all together as a crew * 63 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,989 * Trust, do as we say, not as we do * 64 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:40,285 * We really thought that we were done * 65 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,787 * But we've just begun * 66 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,583 - Hey, babe. 67 00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,835 Look at my sleep tracker which grades my sleep 68 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,712 with stunning accuracy. 69 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,006 - Ooh, 58. That's good, right? 70 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,674 - No, that's 58 out of 100. 71 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,135 That's an F. I'm flunking sleep. 72 00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:00,180 Why? Because lately, Jim calls every single night. 73 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,140 - To update me on the kids. 74 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,683 - Well, it starts with kid talk, 75 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:07,020 but it always shifts to other talk, Jim talk, 76 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,481 about Jim things. 77 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,399 Things Jim read, things Jim's 78 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,401 thinking of reading, things Jim ate, 79 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,737 things Jim thinks Jim would enjoy eating. 80 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,782 Jim things, Jim things. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim things. 81 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,827 Look, our windows have blackout curtains, 82 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,872 but what we need now is Jim-out curtains. 83 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,207 - I hear you. 84 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:29,876 - I admire your commitment to a thriving divorce, 85 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,586 but I need my sleep. 86 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,171 Please, I am begging you. 87 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:37,676 Please, just tell him, "Jim, don't call after 10:00, Jim." 88 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,344 - Do I have to say his name twice? 89 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,846 - I think it conveys the proper gravitas of this situation. 90 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,057 - Two Jims it is. I'll say it just like that. 91 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,600 - Thank you. 92 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,479 - I did not say it just like that. 93 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:52,399 In fact, I did not say it anything like that. 94 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,984 In fact, I did not say it at all. 95 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,236 I had planned to say it, 96 00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,321 but before I could, fate stepped in. 97 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,658 Fate sent me a message on Facebook. 98 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,247 . 99 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:08,581 - Can you believe this? 19 years later, here we are. 100 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,959 - I know. I love Facebook. 101 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,877 For every 600 friends, there's actually one 102 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,004 you want to see in person. 103 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,423 [laughter] 104 00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:19,134 - So Australia. 105 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,261 - Oh, great country. 106 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,971 I just followed the wrong man there. 107 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,473 - You followed your heart. Love took you there. 108 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,683 - And hate brought me home. 109 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:27,976 [laughter] 110 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,979 - I'm just joking. I don't hate my ex-husband. 111 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,731 Actually, I hate my ex-husband. 112 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,191 But you get it. You've been through it all. 113 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,818 - Still going through it. 114 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,194 But it's good. 115 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,113 We kept the apartment, so the kids can stay there, 116 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,489 and we're the ones who come and go. 117 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,699 - Well, that's smart. 118 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:43,867 It's less disruptive for the kids. 119 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,744 - Still ironing out the details. 120 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:49,164 For example, Jim has been calling a lot late at night, 121 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,874 and my fiancé is not thrilled. 122 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:53,543 But I always pick up because he makes me laugh. 123 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:54,919 - Well, if you're tired of him, tell him to call me. 124 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,671 I'm up all night playing Words With Friends 125 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,798 with people who aren't friends. - [laughs] 126 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,467 Well, if you're serious, I'll set it up. 127 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:04,137 - I wasn't serious. Should I be serious? 128 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,889 - Maybe. 129 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,974 - You want to set me up with Jim, your Jim? 130 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,143 - He's not my Jim anymore. No, no, no. 131 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,519 I have relinquished all claim. 132 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:15,065 He is now public domain Jim. 133 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,524 - So it wouldn't be weird for you? 134 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,901 - Are you kidding me? 135 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,903 I want him to be with someone as great as you are. 136 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:24,032 I mean, he's smart, kind, charming, funny as hell. 137 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,909 None of that changes just because by the end, 138 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,828 I wanted to stab him in the neck with a lawn dart. 139 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,456 But he's a great dad, and he's a good guy. 140 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,543 - Do you have a picture? - Yes. 141 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,505 Let me find a good one. - OK. 142 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,764 [upbeat music] 143 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:50,600 - She said I'm cute? What picture did you show her? 144 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,894 Oh, yeah. I do look cute. 145 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,523 Hot, actually. I am smoking hot right there. 146 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,441 - Do you need to be alone? - I'm good. 147 00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,860 But when you get a minute, airdrop me that. 148 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,446 Got a photo of her? 149 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,990 Oh, hell, yeah, I'll go out with her. 150 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,951 - A photo is all it takes? 151 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,285 - She's hot, and she thinks I'm cute. 152 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,788 That's what I call go time. 153 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,791 - Mom, or Dad, or whoever I should ask, 154 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,793 can I sleep over at Sophie's tomorrow night? 155 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,295 - Sophie J. or Sophie K.? - Sophie K. 156 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,506 - Sophie J. will not be there? - Uh-uh. 157 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,342 - Look at me, look at me, look at me. 158 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,469 You promise me there is no chance 159 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,346 that Sophie J. will be there? 160 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,433 - No Sophie J., only Sophie K. I promise. 161 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,019 - OK with you Jim? - Yep. 162 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:36,771 - Then have a lovely time. 163 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,859 - It's Sophie Z. you gotta worry about. 164 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,320 - It makes me happy you're going on a date. 165 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:45,530 - Hmm, I'm glad. 166 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,407 - And you seem happy now. 167 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,575 - Did it seem like I was not happy? 168 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,118 - No, I just-- 169 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,995 you're a wonderful guy, and I care about you, 170 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,872 and I want you to find your Trey. 171 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,999 You shouldn't hide your light under a bushel. 172 00:06:56,041 --> 00:07:00,378 - Never said my bushel wasn't out there busheling. 173 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,131 My bushel has actually been very busy, 174 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:07,469 and also, my peck. - Oh. 175 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,678 I wasn't aware of that. 176 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,347 - Well, you know, I like to be discreet. 177 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,557 But yes, many dates, uh, triggered 178 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,560 by my magnetic libido. 179 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,729 So, hey, do you think your friend Lydia 180 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,647 might be free tomorrow night? - I can ask. 181 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,941 - Hey, guys. - Oh, hey, Jimmy. 182 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,319 You know, it's been a long time since you went on a sleepover. 183 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,570 Why don't you call Trevor and see 184 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,780 if you can do one tomorrow night? 185 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,407 - Trevor G. Or Trevor H.? - I do not care. 186 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:35,205 - It's Trevor Z. you got to worry about. 187 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,625 * * 188 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,044 - To first dates. - Oh. Ow. 189 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,545 - Are you all right? 190 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,464 - Yeah, let me just use the other arm. 191 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,300 To first dates. 192 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,677 Mm. 193 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,470 Lydia, full disclosure, 194 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,180 it's been a while since I've done this, 195 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,640 so I might be a little rusty. 196 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,017 - Well, I wish this wine had WD-40 in it. 197 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,186 I'm just kidding. 198 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,854 We're restarting the engine after the car's 199 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,272 been in the garage for a long time. 200 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,191 - It was a long winter. - How was your winter? 201 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,735 Because mine was cold and dark. - Mine was dark and deep. 202 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,112 - Mine was deep, bleak, and dull. 203 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,154 - Hm. 204 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,406 [laughter] 205 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,699 - Well, what doesn't kill us-- 206 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,785 - Wounds us so bad, we wish we were dead. 207 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,037 - I was gonna say, "makes us stronger." 208 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,374 - Hmm. Tell that to my armpit. 209 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,251 - I'm sorry, your armpit? 210 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,004 - You want to know why I winced a moment ago? 211 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,213 - Sure. 212 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,340 - Are you familiar with dermoid cysts? 213 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,801 - I am not. 214 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,762 - It's a growth of skin cells that sometimes gets infected. 215 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,514 Sometimes they have hair and teeth. 216 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,641 And-- - Are you ready to order? 217 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,935 - I think we need a moment. - Certainly. 218 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,061 - You know what? 219 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,438 I can finish this story after we eat. 220 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,069 . 221 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,154 - OK, so the other night, I used scissors 222 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,532 to hack off a dermoid cyst that was under my armpit. 223 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,825 - Lord, are you OK? 224 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,452 - Yeah, I am now, but it was brutal. 225 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,371 I bled like a mother. Bled and oozed. 226 00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,873 And overnight, the pus set in. 227 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,459 I think it was lymph leaking out. 228 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,586 We have lymph nodes under our arms, right? 229 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,297 - I'm a tax attorney. 230 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,632 - Well, anyway, I was surprised. 231 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,886 - I am too. You scissored off a cyst. 232 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,889 - Cyst is a polite word. This was a commanding presence. 233 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:20,268 It could start a cult. It hurt so bad. 234 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,395 - I can imagine. - No, you cannot. 235 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:25,607 I dropped to my knees, not to pray, 236 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,734 although I did pray once I was down there 237 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,487 for forgiveness for murdering my twin. 238 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,448 See, they think that these dermoid cysts 239 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,075 are fetuses that the other fetus, 240 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,494 in this case me, devoured in the womb. 241 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,121 So it was my cyst-er. 242 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,878 - Jim, this was delightful. - Was? 243 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,880 - But I have to leave now. - Why? 244 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,423 - Because I have learned to follow my gut, 245 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,800 and right now, I'm about to puke. 246 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,178 It was very nice to meet you. 247 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,139 Um, here's a 50 for the wine. Keep the change. 248 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,641 Put it towards your co-pay. 249 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,813 I wish you well. Condolences about your twin. 250 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,272 I hope you don't get sepsis. 251 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,607 Please tell Julia I said, 252 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:08,775 "Thank you for the introduction. 253 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,151 "I am deleting my Facebook. 254 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,404 "I will speak to her again by accident 255 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,197 in another 19 years." 256 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,074 [upbeat music] 257 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,035 - Jim just texted that Lydia left the date. 258 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,496 - Lydia? - My friend I set up with Jim. 259 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,457 - Oh, so a friend you don't really like. 260 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,292 - This jackass. How hard is it? 261 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,628 [line trilling] 262 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,172 - Oh, if it isn't the merry matchmaker. 263 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,674 - What did you do, Jim? 264 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:35,218 What did you do. - Nothing. I was being myself. 265 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,012 - And there's your problem. 266 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:40,598 - You were being yourself? Why would you do that? 267 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,643 - It's too soon, Jim, too soon. - Exactly. 268 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:44,978 That's the first rule of dating. 269 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,939 You got to be someone else first for a long time. 270 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,816 - Yeah, everybody does, Jim. 271 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,819 But especially you, Jim. 272 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,654 - You got to trick 'em into liking you 273 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,281 before you let 'em see who you really are. 274 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,657 This is basic stuff. 275 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,492 Just tell me exactly what happened. 276 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,119 - It was all going well, 277 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:04,372 and then I told a story, and she got up and left. 278 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,291 - Which story? 279 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,668 - About the dermoid cyst. 280 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,795 - Oh, my God! 281 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,714 - What? It was hilarious. 282 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,091 - There's something really wrong with this dude. 283 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,926 - Guys, guys. 284 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,888 You live how you live, and I will do the same, OK? 285 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,349 Because guess what? I met someone else. 286 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,975 - What? 287 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,144 - A lovely woman named Thea Lynn, single and looking, 288 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,854 who happened to be at the next table 289 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,356 and heard everything. She's witty. 290 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,899 She's attractive. 291 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,401 She's festooned in turquoise jewelry. 292 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,028 She vacations in Santa Fe. 293 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:38,948 And she loved the dermoid cyst story, Julia. 294 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:43,036 Wants to know what I would have named my twin had he lived. 295 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,704 She came over, introduced herself. 296 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:45,997 I asked her to join me, 297 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,917 and we are having a blast. Goodbye. 298 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,878 Well, hello again. 299 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,089 - I missed you. Did you miss me? 300 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,049 - I did. 301 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:58,885 - I am having so much fun. - Oh, me too. 302 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,596 Oh, I figured out a name for my twin, Lyle. 303 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,972 - Love it. 304 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,183 [laughter] 305 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,518 - This is great! 306 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,061 Jim met someone he likes. 307 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,771 With any luck, this will turn into something, 308 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,314 and for a little while, at least, 309 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,732 I'm gonna get some sleep. 310 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,234 Mission accidentally accomplished. 311 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:17,904 Come on. - We are in desperate trouble. 312 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,114 - How is this not good news? 313 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,408 Why isn't anything ever good news? 314 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,243 - You don't understand. 315 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:27,122 Jim has a defect in his brain that makes him love people. 316 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,289 It's horrible. 317 00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,041 The guy collects friends wherever he goes. 318 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,711 He's like a human lint roller. - That's not horrible at all. 319 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,213 That's good. - No, it's bad for romance. 320 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,049 Very, very bad. Jim falls in love instantly. 321 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,801 He fell in love with me from down the block 322 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,511 before I saw him or said a word. 323 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,930 - A, nobody can blame him. 324 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,433 And B, for a long time, it worked out. 325 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,934 - Yes. 326 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:50,687 Because as it happens, I am wonderful. 327 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,813 - Hmm. 328 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,606 - But-- but that was just luck. 329 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,983 You know, I could have been a beast. 330 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,484 I could have killed the guy. 331 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,778 And now I may have. 332 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,238 Someone's got to go down there and get eyes 333 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,115 on this Thea Lynn, do some recon. 334 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,867 - Good luck. 335 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:10,707 . 336 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:11,666 - I don't see him. Do you see him? 337 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,169 - No. Well, I guess that's a good try. 338 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,129 We did everything we could-- - Excuse me. 339 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,714 Do you happen to remember a couple? 340 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,632 He's handsome, shaved head, beard. 341 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,885 She was wearing a lot of turquoise. 342 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,096 - The guy who cut off his oozing cyst? 343 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,181 - That's the one. 344 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,599 - Yeah, they were in my section. 345 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,225 - Did they leave together? - Oh, yeah. 346 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,644 They ordered our famous soufflé and left before it was ready. 347 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,564 - Excuse me. You said he paid for this? 348 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,774 - Yeah. 349 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,528 [upbeat music] 350 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,030 - Hey, babe, babe. - What? 351 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:43,323 - It's not too late to turn back. 352 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,283 - I've got to save Jim from himself. 353 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,368 - I disagree. 354 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,036 But allow me a prediction. 355 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,829 The moment you walk through that door, 356 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,164 you're gonna see that it's an innocent date, 357 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,041 and you're gonna want to leave. 358 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,001 At that moment, I want you to look at me 359 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,129 and say the word "soufflé." 360 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:03,468 That'll be a signal that you are, A, ready to flee, 361 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,428 and B, I was right. 362 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,222 - Oh. 363 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,642 [giggles] Your beard, it's so ticklish. 364 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,310 Oh, a little more here. 365 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,021 Ooh! Oh, oh. 366 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,817 Hey, um, do you mind if I take off my dress? 367 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,820 - Mind? I'm honored, grateful. 368 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,114 I'm already composing a thank you note. 369 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,953 - I thought you said we were gonna be alone? 370 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,038 - We were. Julia, what the hell? 371 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,291 - Soufflé, soufflé, soufflé, soufflé. 372 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,002 - Wait, who are you? 373 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,797 - I'm Julia, Jim's ex-wife, 374 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,757 former wife, wife at one time. 375 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,634 This is Trey, my fiancé. 376 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,137 - Hello. - I'm Thea Lynn. 377 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,680 - Enchanté. 378 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,307 - "Enchanté," she said as if she says it all the time. 379 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:54,477 - Sorry for the flyby. I had to get some stuff. 380 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,354 I live here too. Not all the time. 381 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,689 Jim and I take turns. 382 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,065 I leave stuff behind now and then. 383 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,483 And now and then, I got to get it. 384 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,235 Hi, I'm Julia. 385 00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:03,737 - Yes, you said your name already. 386 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,321 - That's right. And she said hers. 387 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:07,657 Thea Lynn, which is so unique and pretty, 388 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,409 like the woman herself. 389 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:11,870 - I'm sorry, you said you live here too? 390 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,580 - On account of the children, both of them, two. 391 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,415 They live here all the time, so they never need 392 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,876 to get stuff, but I do. Getting stuff. 393 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,503 Can I offer you a Diet Dr. Pepper? 394 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,756 - Uh, no, thank you. 395 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,716 - You know, we call this place the nest. 396 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:29,846 My son named it, you know, because birds live in a nest. 397 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,473 - But when they're all here, it's crowded. 398 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:34,434 So some of them have the decency to fly away fast 399 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:36,186 and far and away, away, away. 400 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:39,064 - Look at all that lovely turquoise. 401 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,648 Why the turquoise, Thea Lynn? 402 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,150 - Because I like it. 403 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:45,236 - Why Santa Fe? - You know about Santa Fe? 404 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,571 - Oh. [chuckles nervously]. 405 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,947 Jim texted that he had met you, 406 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,657 and I texted him with various inquiries, 407 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,451 and then he texted us. - Oh, no us. 408 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,411 I didn't text anyone. 409 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,163 - You were in the restroom, I believe. 410 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,207 - I was very happy that I'd just met you. 411 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,834 - What are your intentions regarding my ex-husband? 412 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,836 - Well, before you got here, 413 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,505 I intended to take my dress off. 414 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:04,881 - Oh. - I look back 415 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:07,008 on that time fondly. 416 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:09,094 - Well, look, I don't want to get in the middle 417 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,637 of what you guys got going on here, so-- 418 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,138 - Yes, that's right. 419 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,890 We're just here to get the baseball glove. 420 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,767 - And I have it, and we will go. 421 00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,435 - Play ball! 422 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:21,272 - But before we go, uh, I'm sure, Thea Lynn, 423 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,900 that you are a lovely person, and that this will 424 00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:25,568 be a lovely relationship, and that 425 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,779 you will treat Jim lovely-ly. 426 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:30,240 But if you don't, be warned that 427 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,117 whatever your motives, whatever your schemes, 428 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,411 whatever your pathology, I shall thwart it, 429 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,413 for I am his shield and his sword, 430 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,331 his bulletproof vest and his rifle. 431 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:39,624 - Julia. 432 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,084 - I have his back and his front, 433 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,795 his side and his flank. - Flank means side. 434 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:47,132 - Regardless, I got the keys to get in here anytime I want. 435 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,844 - Uh, Jim? - Yes. 436 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:54,848 - Thank you for a lovely two hours. 437 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,183 - You're welcome. 438 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,436 - Shorter than many relationships, 439 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,272 and yet, never to be forgotten. - I understand. 440 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:04,899 - This is obviously a very complicated situation. 441 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,569 - I know. - More people than I'm used to. 442 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,903 - Me too. 443 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,322 - Well, uh, it was a delight to meet you all. 444 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,866 And Julia, bravo. 445 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:15,285 You've saved Jim from my sense of humor, 446 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,246 my big heart, and my voracious sexual appetite. 447 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,373 - Wait, Jim is a really great guy. 448 00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,625 - Agreed. It's you I'm worried about. 449 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,419 - Oh, don't be. 450 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,839 - Any chance I can still call you? 451 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,633 - [laughs] No. 452 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,802 [laughs] No, no, no. 453 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,388 No. No. 454 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,356 - Huh. 455 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,815 - Hmm. 456 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:48,026 - Ay, ay, ay. 457 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,323 - I-- - You? 458 00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,491 - I-- 459 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,618 - You? 460 00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,495 - Jim, I-- 461 00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,746 I'm so sorry. 462 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,414 - No one is more sorry than I am. 463 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,500 - What are you-- 464 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:04,709 what are you thinking? 465 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,252 - I am not thinking. 466 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:10,674 What you see on my face is bafflement, wonder, 467 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:15,470 awe, all mixed with astonishment at the absurdity 468 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,222 of what you've just done. 469 00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,016 - I just-- I don't-- 470 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:21,267 I don't know what I was thinking. 471 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,602 - Oh, I do. - You do? 472 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,521 - You were thinking that I do my best thinking 473 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:26,898 when you're there to remind me what my best thinking is. 474 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,026 - Look, you have every right to be angry. 475 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:32,195 - I'm not angry because I know you, 476 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,613 and I know you did what you just did 477 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:36,199 out of your own peculiar and still evolving 478 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,034 definition of post-divorce. 479 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:40,453 - I think I was just afraid that-- 480 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:43,540 - That harm would come to me, harm that would be your fault 481 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,041 because you were the one who sent me 482 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,002 on the dermoid cyst date in the first place. 483 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,171 But no harm came to me. 484 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:52,382 And actually, it was the opposite. 485 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:54,384 Events conspired, and moments ago, 486 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,636 for the first time in a very long time, 487 00:18:56,678 --> 00:19:00,390 I was caressed with desire by another human being... 488 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,812 Who, before you barged in here 489 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:09,691 with your sawed-off shotgun and your Kevlar vest, 490 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:14,154 had decided without being asked or begged to disrobe. 491 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:19,075 Today was a thrilling, if bizarre, 492 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,578 reminder of life's post-divorce possibilities, 493 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:24,205 and none of it would have happened 494 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,041 if you were a normal person. 495 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,546 So thank you. 496 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,091 - You're welcome? - Too soon. 497 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,636 Now, if you've nothing else, please leave 498 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,598 so I can return to Santa Fe in my mind. 499 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,600 - No calls after 10:00. 500 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:47,312 - What? - No calls after 10:00. 501 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,105 - Oh, uh, Jim, there is one other thing. 502 00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,732 - No calls after 10:00? 503 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,235 - The reason Julia tried to fix you up in the first place 504 00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,154 is because I need my sleep. 505 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,781 And we figured if you had a girlfriend, 506 00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,241 you'd be less likely to call in the middle of the night 507 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,786 because you were busy being caressed with desire. 508 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,538 - I was gonna just call you and say no calls after 10:00, 509 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,749 but then things happened. - Things? 510 00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:08,958 - Thoughts. - Your thoughts? 511 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,460 - Thoughts that led to choices-- 512 00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:11,711 bad ones. 513 00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:14,673 - But that's the rule, no calls after 10:00? 514 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,174 - If you don't mind. - No problem. 515 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,343 - Unless it's an emergency. - OK. 516 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,303 - If you got to, you got to. - Thanks. 517 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,263 - Call whenever you want. 518 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,517 - Cool. 519 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:32,023 - Love you. - Love you. 520 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:36,403 - Very fond of you. - And you. 521 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,157 Julia? - Yeah. 522 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,326 - Leave the cistern please. 523 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,538 - Right. - Thank you. 524 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,166 - Oh. Hi, everyone. 525 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:53,003 Um, I didn't realize you were here. 526 00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,213 Sophie J. crashed the sleepover. 527 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,173 She smelled like pot, so I left immediately. 528 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,009 Um... [chuckles] 529 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:02,220 I'm gonna go shower. Uh, don't hug me. 530 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:05,682 - See that? 531 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,017 Silver lining. 532 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,560 You know, I don't show up tonight, 533 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,854 your daughter walks in on you going Southwest 534 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,856 on the turquoise express. 535 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:13,982 It's called fate. 536 00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,567 - Mm, no, it's not. 537 00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:18,153 - I tried.