1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,088 . 2 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:05,797 all: * Don't show up * 3 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,842 * Don't come out * 4 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:12,679 * Don't start caring about me now * 5 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,848 * walk away * 6 00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,641 * You know how * 7 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,601 * Don't stop caring 8 00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:21,187 * About me now * [police siren wailing] 9 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,605 - OK, all right, all right. 10 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:24,441 Remember, kids, always pull over 11 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,652 quickly so that first responders can respond first. 12 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,321 Their service deserves our gratitude and respect. 13 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,449 - Dad, this cop is pulling you over. 14 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,909 - Oh, come on. Come off it. 15 00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,579 - * It's true * 16 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:41,708 * The marriage that we once had now is through * 17 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:45,712 * And now we're doing all that we can do * 18 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:50,342 * To keep us all together as a crew * 19 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,970 * Just do as we say, not as we do * 20 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:58,183 * We really thought that we were done * 21 00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,560 * But we've just begun * 22 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,149 - Dad, if the speed limit's 80, I only saw you hit 76. 23 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,485 - Jimmy, when the cop gets here, zip it. 24 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:12,405 Hello, Officer. 25 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,573 How may I help you? 26 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,283 - Well, you can stop by acting like 27 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,078 we're not at a Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru. 28 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,162 I clocked you at 85. 29 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,538 What's the big hurry? 30 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,332 - Oh, we were attending a Dua Lipa concert. 31 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,709 Uh, Ms. Lipa puts a little giddyap in my go, 32 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,461 if you know what I'm saying. [chuckles] 33 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,588 - No, I don't know what you're saying. 34 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,507 Oh. Wow. 35 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,801 Trey Taylor, the owner of the Celtics. 36 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,010 - 'Tis I, Officer. 37 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,428 - 'Tis? 38 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,514 - You know, I gotta say, regardless 39 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,182 of how the Celtics have been playing lately, 40 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:42,227 you got nothing to be ashamed of. 41 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:43,603 - I appreciate that. 42 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,562 - I agree. 43 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,064 I mean, despite valid criticisms 44 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,691 of some recent front office moves, 45 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:50,652 these talk radio schmucks ought to leave Trey alone and tackle 46 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,737 the despair that the Patriots have lately perpetrated 47 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,739 on our commonwealth. Am I right? 48 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,117 - Don't go dragging Bill Belichick into this. 49 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,660 - Oh, no, I was just-- 50 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:02,080 - Bill Belichick has brought immeasurable joy into my life. 51 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,456 - Coach Belichick is a great man. 52 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,709 - A great man. An icon, a giant. 53 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,085 It's why I named my son after him. 54 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,211 - Wait, my name's-- 55 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,713 - Not now, Billy. 56 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:11,381 - Hey, would you mind autographing 57 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,716 a basketball for me? 58 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,300 - Only if you'll accept it as a gesture 59 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:17,137 of my gratitude for all you do in service to this fair city. 60 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:18,638 - This guy. 61 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,724 You know, in light of all the things 62 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,892 that your charitable foundation does for the city of Boston, 63 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,602 I'm going to let your fair-weather Pats 64 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,354 fan of a driver here off with a warning. 65 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,273 - Oh, no, I'm not his driver. 66 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,734 I'm his fiancée's ex-husband. 67 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:31,985 - Wow. 68 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,361 How magnanimous of you. 69 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,780 To give your fiancée's ex a job? 70 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,991 My ex's fiancé is lucky he's not at the bottom 71 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,285 of the Charles River. 72 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,619 I'll be back in two secs. 73 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,788 - Yeah. [chuckles] 74 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,790 - Thank God you're not going to the slammer, Dad. 75 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,959 - Don't thank God. Thank Trey. 76 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,919 He's the one signing the ball to save Dad. 77 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,005 Trey's your Get Out of Jail Free card. 78 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:54,674 - You're a superhero, Trey. - Super Trey-Man. 79 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,427 - [chuckles] Oh, kids, go on. 80 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:58,928 - Here you are, Mr. Taylor. - Oh. 81 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,388 - There you are. 82 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:04,684 You know, listen up there, Vin Diesel. 83 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,645 Your lawbreaking reflects poorly upon Mr. Taylor. 84 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,689 So why don't you take a little fast out of that furious, 85 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,775 or next time I'll give you a ticket you'll cry about? 86 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,151 You got me? 87 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:17,238 - Well, while I appreciate the gesture, Officer, 88 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,866 I'd like the ticket now. 89 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,910 - You want the ticket? - I want the ticket. 90 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,536 - I'm not giving you a ticket. - Please give me the ticket. 91 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,954 - I don't care how nicely you ask me. 92 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,456 I'm not giving you a ticket. 93 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,624 - It's my constitutional right to pay the piper when 94 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,125 the piper requires payment. 95 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,460 - Ask me one more time, I'll take you in for psych eval. 96 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,045 Just slow the hell down. 97 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,714 Oh, Mr. Taylor, thank you. 98 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,759 You know what, here's my card. 99 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,053 If you're ever in a rush, or even if you're not in a rush, 100 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,429 give me a buzz. 101 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,223 I'll spin the siren and clear the way for you. 102 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,392 Go, Celtics! 103 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,355 - Because of Trey, the laws don't apply to us anymore, Dad. 104 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,440 - Yes, they do. - Not when Trey's around. 105 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,234 - Trey, will you take us shoplifting? 106 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,736 - Pick the day, Jimmy. Pick the day. 107 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:57,904 - Trey, Trey! 108 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,864 [both chanting] Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey! 109 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:00,907 - * Say my name * 110 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,243 - Trey. - * Say it again * 111 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:08,039 . 112 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:08,373 - Yeah! 113 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,001 All right, now, kids, remember, if you 114 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,837 find yourself in my position, be grateful, be humble. 115 00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:16,965 And if not, you best be sure you don't cross Johnny Law. 116 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,509 Am I right, Jim? 117 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,219 - Hey. How was the concert? 118 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,846 - Amazing. - So good. 119 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,222 - Breathtaking. 120 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,142 - Mom, when Dua Lipa dances, it makes me wish 121 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,811 I was a piece of her clothing. 122 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,230 - When I was your age, I wanted to be a piece 123 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,398 of Janet Jackson's clothing. 124 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,608 - [clears throat] 125 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:39,320 Uh, Jim, did Dua Lipa disappoint you? 126 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,365 - Dua Lipa could never disappoint me. 127 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,700 - Trey, you know what would make 128 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,535 a perfect end to this evening? 129 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,579 Some of your famous ice cream sundaes. 130 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,538 - Yes! 131 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,081 - You don't have to tell me twice. 132 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,334 To the kitchen we ride! 133 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,085 [both chanting] Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey! 134 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,838 - Say my name! Say my name! 135 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,969 - You look sad. 136 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,012 - I'm not sad. 137 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,055 - You don't look happy. 138 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,182 - I'm not happy. 139 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,433 - So tell me what you look like. 140 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,809 - Concerned. 141 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:10,935 Startled. 142 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,813 Some might say shook. 143 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,565 Look, I was gonna sleep on this, Julia, 144 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,400 but I'm afraid we have an issue. 145 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,194 I got pulled over for speeding tonight. 146 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,779 - So you meant you have an issue. 147 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,405 [laughs] 148 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,698 I'm sorry I'm laughing. 149 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,116 It's happening involuntarily. 150 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,160 How much was the ticket? 151 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,536 - I got off with a warning. 152 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,205 - Did you cry and tell him that your mom died? 153 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,415 That's what I'd do. 154 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,751 Come on. Now, where's the victory smile? 155 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,544 - My victory smile is in hibernation 156 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,963 because we still have an issue, an issue named Trey. 157 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,298 - How is Trey the issue? 158 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,260 - Your fiancé got me off. 159 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,013 Out. Trey got me out of the ticket. 160 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,973 - That bastard. 161 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,600 - It was alarming. 162 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,060 Apparently, the coin of the realm 163 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,270 is no longer character, conduct, and contrition. 164 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,815 It's fame, wealth, and status. 165 00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,818 - Let's focus on what's really alarming, 166 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,904 you speeding like a maniac with our children on board. 167 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,657 - Oh, 85 is not maniacal. 168 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,535 And I would have paid my fair share of the Boston PD's 169 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,954 revenue-raising shakedown, had officer Jock 170 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:15,083 Sniffer McFanboy not made a complete mockery 171 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,751 of the rule of law. 172 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,629 I am afraid that our children's proximity to Teflon Trey 173 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,090 is poisoning their minds. 174 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,592 - Trey has worked his whole life to get to where he is. 175 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,802 - Well, I've haven't known him his whole life, 176 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,596 so I don't know if that's true. 177 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,849 But you know who hasn't worked hard? 178 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,475 Our kids. They have done nothing. 179 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,645 Nothing. - Yeah, they're kids. 180 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,564 - Yes, barely out of diapers, and they 181 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,690 expect the world is going to treat them 182 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,150 the same way it treats him. 183 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,694 Roll out the red carpet and sprinkle it with caviar 184 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,864 and solid gold jelly beans. 185 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,617 Trey lives this ridiculous life of platinum rainbows 186 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,996 and limousine lemonade. 187 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,081 We are at a vital crossroads, Julia. 188 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,042 Trey's world is not the world our kids live in. 189 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,293 - Hey, guys. 190 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,794 We don't have any whipped cream, 191 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,671 so Trey's having a chef from the Ritz named ASAP 192 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,882 come over and bring us some. 193 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:07,302 Keep an ear out for the door, would ya? 194 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,596 - See? 195 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,014 They need to be taught that no one in the real world 196 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,183 is exempt from life's three unchangeable realities. 197 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,476 - Which are? 198 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,146 - Pain, loss, and ceaseless struggle. 199 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,523 - I think your instinct to sleep on this was correct. 200 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,693 Let's revisit this after you get a lobotomy. 201 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,528 - Mom, you were right. 202 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,906 Trey makes the best ice cream sundaes. 203 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,367 - Trey, you gotta come to my basketball game tomorrow. 204 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,951 You're the family good luck charm. 205 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,496 - It's at St. Mary's in Watertown, 20-minute drive. 206 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,498 But for you, only 10. 207 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,707 - Can't wait. 208 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,167 - Can you take us to rob a bank after? 209 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,003 - Bank first, and then we'll knock over a liquor store. 210 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,214 [knocking on door] 211 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,548 Hey. 212 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,758 - Oh, are you ASAP? 213 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,510 - [chuckles] Thank you very much. 214 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,387 Kids, have at it. 215 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,764 There's extra for you, Jim. 216 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:00,063 . 217 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:00,939 - Hoo-hoo. - Hey, new pajamas. 218 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,525 I love your new pajamas. 219 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:06,528 - Custom-made from Italy, on back order for a year. 220 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,738 Feel me up. - OK. 221 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,365 But you know what happens when I start touching you. 222 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,034 [both chuckle] 223 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,370 - Oh, my god, what kind of material is this? 224 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,205 - This is Turkish mindworm silk. 225 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,498 - Oh. 226 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,166 - Essentially, the Kobe beef of silk. 227 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:24,295 Or maybe Kobe beef is the Turkish mindworm silk of beef. 228 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:28,550 Anyway, it was great being with Grace and Jimmy. 229 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,218 They're terrific kids. 230 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,762 They really seemed like they were interested in forming 231 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,180 a relationship with me. 232 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,724 - It's because of how you are with them. 233 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,350 You constantly make an effort. 234 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,519 - It's not an effort. It's fun. 235 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,729 - Hm. 236 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,605 So how much do these pajamas cost? 237 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,690 - Three. - Hundred? 238 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,276 - Thousand. - $300,000? 239 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,986 - $3,000. - Oh. 240 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,321 [chuckles] That's still a lot for pajamas. 241 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,198 - Is it? 242 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,035 - Jim mentioned that, uh, you got him out of a speeding 243 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:55,994 ticket tonight. 244 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,037 - Uh-uh. 245 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,913 The cop was a fan. What can I say? 246 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,081 I got fans. 247 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,583 - Yes, you do, and I'm your biggest one. 248 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,501 [both chuckle] 249 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,421 - Dagnabbit. 250 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,881 I got toothpaste on my PJs. 251 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,507 - Oh. [sensor beeps] 252 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,259 Uh, hon-- 253 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,346 - Those PJs are garbage. 254 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,056 - Say what? 255 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,309 - Toothpaste wreaks havoc on mindworm silk. 256 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,394 Those things are basically ruined. 257 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,772 - Well, why don't you just brush your teeth before you 258 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,898 put on your pajamas? 259 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,900 - Because I'll be brushing my teeth naked. 260 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,611 - Hey, give a girl a thrill. 261 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,655 - Thankfully, I bought an extra pair. 262 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,115 Of course now I'm going to need a new backup pair. 263 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,117 I'll get some for you and the kids, too. 264 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,243 Give me everyone's sizes. 265 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,620 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 266 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,456 Uh, size zero for me. 267 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,999 But let's hold off on the kids. 268 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,835 You know, I don't want them to get used to wearing $3,000 269 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,962 pajamas, grow out of them, only to go back 270 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,756 to wearing real-world pajamas. 271 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,966 - Why would they ever have to go back 272 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,760 to wearing real-world pajamas? 273 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,470 They live in my world now. 274 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:58,765 - Jim thinks your lifestyle is poisoning the kids' minds. 275 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,602 - Fine, I don't have to buy them pajamas. 276 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,146 - Well, he said that you getting him out 277 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:08,483 of the speeding ticket gave them a warped impression 278 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,609 about how life works. 279 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,278 - [scoffs] 280 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,656 Well, Jim is blowing this out of proportion. 281 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,658 Babe, I didn't big-time the cop. 282 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,326 I didn't say, do you know who I am? 283 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,746 The man handed me a basketball, and I signed it. 284 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,206 This is lunacy. 285 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,542 Jim was embarrassed, and now he's deflecting. 286 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,168 - He does deflect when he's embarrassed. 287 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,712 He does. 288 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:32,340 - Here I am, a self-made man, and I can't stand in my own 289 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:36,094 living room wearing my backup mindworm silk pajamas, 290 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,971 brushing my teeth without this hassle. 291 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,848 - I will talk to him. - No, no. 292 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,558 There will be no more talks around this issue. 293 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,309 In this family, there'll be no more 294 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,436 talking through each other. 295 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,979 We will talk to each other. 296 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,189 And Jim and I need to get on the same page. 297 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,567 Handle this man to man. 298 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,235 Oh! 299 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,737 - Oh, God. 300 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,159 Almost ruined my fourth pair this year. 301 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,373 - Jim, that's some shower you've got. 302 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,208 - Dad, you got a shower at your place. 303 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,335 - Not like your shower. 304 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,420 Your shower, the water falls from above 305 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,298 like a gentle summer rain. 306 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:17,719 My shower smacks me in the face by just having 307 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,971 the nerve to clean myself. 308 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,183 Yesterday, I almost lost a nipple. 309 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,060 - Well, you can use mine any time. 310 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,645 - Can I use your new butt washer you got? 311 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,564 - The bidet? That's Julia's. 312 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,899 You gotta to ask her. 313 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,942 - I am not going to ask my former daughter-in-law 314 00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,570 if I can use her ass spritzer. 315 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,654 - How's she going to know? 316 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,739 - Oh, trust me. 317 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,699 She'll know. 318 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,161 Hey, you all right? 319 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,829 - I'm just thinking about the kids. 320 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,040 I'm worried that they're getting too spoiled 321 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:48,291 from hanging around with Trey. 322 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,793 - Ha! 323 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,045 You should have seen yourself when I spoiled you. 324 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,798 Remember that Sting-Ray bike I got you with the banana seat? 325 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,091 - Oh, I love that banana seat. 326 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,468 - Every kid had a bike, but no one had 327 00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,803 a Schwinn with a banana seat. 328 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:04,140 And, boy, were you a jackass about it. 329 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,225 What? 330 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,976 Your bike doesn't have a banana seat? 331 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,938 'Cause my bike's a Schwinn Sting-Ray with a banana seat. 332 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,649 Hey, girls, want to ride on my banana seat? 333 00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:13,900 See? 334 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,986 It's shaped like a banana. 335 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:22,117 I wanted to take a sledgehammer to you and that banana seat. 336 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,993 But you snapped out of it eventually. 337 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,620 - What happened? - What always happens. 338 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,122 Life knocks you down. 339 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,958 In your case, Jeffy Droyel got a mini bike. 340 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,711 And all the girls who were riding on your banana seat 341 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,964 decided they'd rather go joyriding with Jeffy. 342 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,049 And I wanted to teach you about life, 343 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,301 so I did not buy you a mini bike. 344 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,805 I took your mini bike money and went to Atlantic City 345 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,891 and nearly got divorced. 346 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:50,103 - And yet somehow you never won father of the year. 347 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:53,606 - But look how great you turned out. 348 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,275 - So you think the kids will be OK? 349 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,862 - Son, Grace and Jimmy are good kids. 350 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,197 Trust your own influence on them. 351 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,782 - Mm, yeah. 352 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:03,867 Thanks, Dad. 353 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,160 I needed that. 354 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,995 - That's what I'm here for. 355 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:10,749 That plus the perfect water pressure. 356 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,336 Speaking of which, I'm going to go do a pinch and a rinse 357 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,546 before I go. 358 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,507 [upbeat music] 359 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,886 * * 360 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,392 - Plenty of seats, guys. 361 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,062 Feel free to spread out. 362 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,855 - I'd like to have a word with you, Jim. 363 00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,899 - That's fine, but I can smell the fish 364 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,400 tacos you had for lunch. 365 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:42,113 So maybe a little daylight between us? 366 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,907 - If you thought I was corrupting your kids' minds, 367 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,075 you should have just said so. 368 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,202 - I did say so. - Yeah, Julia, not to me. 369 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,372 - You're a couple. Telling Julia is telling you. 370 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,708 If you want, I could tell Julia now that you should 371 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,128 never mind what I said before. 372 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,630 I'm not poisoning your kids' minds. 373 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,048 - I know you're not. 374 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,383 - I'm a positive force in their life. 375 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,634 - I agree. 376 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,843 - And it's not my fault the cop let you go. 377 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,095 - You're right. 378 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,179 - I'm trying to argue with you here. 379 00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:07,806 What's the matter with you? 380 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,391 - You know, I had a good night's sleep, 381 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,727 and my dad reminded me that I was once a young jackass. 382 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,604 And I agreed. 383 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,564 - Wait, so in the light of day, you 384 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,358 are admitting that Trey is not trying to make 385 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,984 our kids into jackasses? 386 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,488 - Yes, the new day has given me the clarity to know that Trey 387 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,073 is not corrupting our kids. 388 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,742 - Look, pal, if I wanted to ask a cop for a favor, 389 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,328 it wouldn't have been that. 390 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,830 I'm a regular guy. 391 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,581 - With a private jet, a basketball team, 392 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,084 and a heart of gold. 393 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,796 And an apology from yours truly for overreacting 394 00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,965 to your generosity and goodwill. 395 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:44,884 - I gotta hand it to Jim. 396 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:47,429 It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. 397 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,348 But it takes just as big a man to accept 398 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,975 that apology gracefully. 399 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:54,894 Maybe even a slightly bigger man. 400 00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:58,314 But, hey, listen, this is not a competition. 401 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,066 - Hey, Trey. Where's Mom? 402 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,901 - She and your dad went to go get popcorn. 403 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,361 - Oh, before the game starts, 404 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,613 can we get a photo with my friends Maeve and Chevonne? 405 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,198 - Absolutely. 406 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,784 Maeve and Chevonne, say cheese. 407 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,202 - Cheese. - [chuckles] 408 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,204 - Grace said you have a private jet. 409 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,956 - And that you'd take us to Tahiti on it. 410 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,751 You're so nice. - [chuckles] 411 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,544 - Trey, this is so great. 412 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,296 I'm not sure they're the friends I'm going to bring. 413 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,506 I have to see how well they do on my homework first. 414 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,592 But thank you. 415 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,013 - Trey. - Yeah? 416 00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,222 - Told Coach Bernie here you'd give him 417 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,141 a coaching job with the Celtics if he runs 418 00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,517 today's offense through me. 419 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,019 - Big fan. 420 00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:38,605 I can't wait to tell my boss at Foot Locker to shove it. 421 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,440 Thank you. 422 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,734 - I gave him your cell. He'll hit you up Monday. 423 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,486 Thanks for making it work. 424 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,322 - Jim was right all along. 425 00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,699 I had corrupted his children's minds. 426 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,868 And I could either admit that-- not an option-- 427 00:15:58,208 --> 00:15:58,416 . 428 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,459 - Mm, I gotta say, Trey, your car smells 429 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,045 way better than the tea. 430 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,046 Thanks for the ride. - Mm. 431 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,881 Hey, tough loss, Jimmy. 432 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,132 But you played your heart out. 433 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,592 - Nah, my shot was off. 434 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,760 - Shots. 435 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:09,928 You took all of them. 436 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:10,970 - Players gotta play. 437 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,722 - You fouled out before halftime. 438 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,265 - I got no calls. 439 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,892 Trey, you need to set the referee 440 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,185 straight the next game. 441 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,436 Tell him who's who and what's what. 442 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,522 - Mm. 443 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,523 Hey, you done with that? 444 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,316 - Pretty much. 445 00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,654 - Trey, what the hell are you doing? 446 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,615 - When I was six, I threw some trash out the car window. 447 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,866 I thought it was funny. 448 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,159 My dad didn't. 449 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,953 He told me that most of the kids in juvie 450 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,705 got sent there for littering. 451 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,039 I never forgot that. 452 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,376 And I never littered again, until that night. 453 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,213 - Trey, stop it. 454 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,881 - Just cleaning up. Grace, you done back there? 455 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,425 - Yes, sir. 456 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,385 - Thank you. 457 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,053 [sighs] 458 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,139 - No, no, no. I'm still working on mine. 459 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,057 - How about you, Jimmy? - Can I throw it? 460 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,935 - No. Trey, stop the car. 461 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:00,020 - Yep! 462 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,104 - Don't make me jump out. 463 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,480 - You're not going to do that. 464 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,565 - Ah, she's done it. 465 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,649 Lake Tahoe, 2010. 466 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,443 Granted, there was snow. 467 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,323 - I just need some fresh air. 468 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,868 Everybody, just give me a minute, please. 469 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,370 - [sighs] 470 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:20,665 I'm going after her. 471 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,000 - Yes, yes. 472 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,210 But as a man with two decades in your seat, 473 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,588 when Julia says, I just need a minute, 474 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,548 she's not asking for you to grant her the minute. 475 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:29,591 She's taking it. 476 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,551 So give her two minutes. 477 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:34,262 Then slowly walk after her, 478 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,139 and when you get within 10 yards 479 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:40,518 of her, or what I call the blast radius, make sure 480 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,854 that the first five words out of your mouth are, 481 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,231 I am so, so sorry. 482 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,941 - I'm so sorry. Got it. 483 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,026 - No, no, no. 484 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,071 I am so, so sorry. 485 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,531 - I am so, so sorry. 486 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,116 - You've got this. 487 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:08,088 - Jules, I am so, so sorry. 488 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,217 I had it all worked out. 489 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,718 I was going to litter, and once I got 490 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,719 pulled over by the police-- 491 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,179 - For littering? 492 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:19,057 - Littering with abandon, like a crazy litter bug. 493 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,144 When they pulled me over and saw who I was-- 494 00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,563 I was going to say, give me that ticket. 495 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,940 I deserve that ticket. 496 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,358 - Why? 497 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,568 - When you and Jim went to get popcorn, 498 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:35,323 Jimmy Jr. was making changes to the Celtics coaching staff, 499 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,575 and Grace was booking time on my private jet. 500 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,037 So, yeah, I am poisoning your kids' minds. 501 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,498 Jim was right. 502 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,041 - Why didn't you just say something? 503 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,335 - Because Jim was right. 504 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,339 Look, Jules, I'm sorry. 505 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,426 I'm just no good at this parenting stuff. 506 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,888 - Trey, none of us are good at it. 507 00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,432 Jim was right this time. 508 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,767 You'll be right next time. Then I'll be right. 509 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,271 And we'll somehow all be wrong over and over again and again. 510 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,690 That's parenting-- one long, unfolding, 511 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,984 unmitigated disaster. 512 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,404 - I got a lot to learn on the parenting front. 513 00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,364 - Jim and I should have handled this. 514 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,784 But the good news is we've identified the problem. 515 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,453 You. - Ha-ha. 516 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,121 - [laughs] I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 517 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,456 - Ha, ha, ha, it's not funny. 518 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,624 - No, we can fix this together. 519 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,918 You're part of the team now, you crazy litter bug. 520 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,421 [both laugh] 521 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:35,925 I'm-- I'm sorry I let it get to this. 522 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,886 - We're not really going to tell Jim he was right, are we? 523 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,554 - Oh, hell no. - OK. 524 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,056 [laughs] 525 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,891 [truck horn blares] 526 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,559 - This your car? 527 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,019 - Uh, yes, Officer. 528 00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:48,104 - This is a no-standing zone. 529 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:50,940 Not only is your car standing, you have the keys 530 00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,192 so no one can move it. 531 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,028 - Officer, I am so, so sorry. 532 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,113 He was giving me a minute to think. 533 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,407 - The sign says "no standing at any time," 534 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,160 not "no standing unless he's giving you a minute to think." 535 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,953 I'm writing you a ticket. 536 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,330 - Yes. 537 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,123 - Did you just do a fist pump? 538 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,667 - Yes. 539 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,627 - You're Trey Taylor with the Celtics. 540 00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:12,671 - 'Tis he. 541 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,506 - Watch this, Mom. 542 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,466 - You know, it's an absolute disgrace you haven't retired 543 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,051 Tiny Archibald's number yet. 544 00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:20,553 - Larry Bird doesn't win the title in 1981 without him. 545 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,638 - Agreed. 546 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,348 - I wasn't even born when he played. 547 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:26,017 - Excuses, excuses. 548 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,602 Here's your ticket. 549 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,188 Pay attention to the posted signs. 550 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,316 And do Tiny Archibald right. 551 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:34,901 - Trey, Trey, I got this. 552 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,528 - No, this is me. - No, no, no. 553 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,822 You got me out of a very expensive speeding ticket. 554 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:40,865 - That is my ticket. I want that ticket. 555 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,534 - $750? 556 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,120 I agree. This is your ticket. 557 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,540 - So, kids, have we learned a lesson? 558 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,291 - Everything revolves around sports 559 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,252 because men can't communicate. 560 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,921 - No, just 'cause you're famous doesn't 561 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:56,256 get you out of everything. 562 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:59,592 - Unless you retire Tiny Archibald's number. 563 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:02,053 Do Tiny right. 564 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,596 - Let's get in the car. 565 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:04,973 Hey. 566 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,891 - [laughs] 567 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,518 [The Clash's "I Fought the Law"] 568 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,563 all: * Breakin' rocks in the hot sun * 569 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,108 * I fought the law, and the law won * 570 00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:18,111 * I fought the law, and the law won * 571 00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:21,156 * I needed money 'cause I had none * 572 00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:24,284 * I fought the law, and the law won * 573 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:27,579 * I fought the law, and the law won *