I'm Denise. I'm a survivor of domestic violence.
Hi, Denise.
Does anyone want to share anything today before we start with our special activity?
Okay. Then I'll turn this over to Alex.
Let's give her a warm welcome.
Thanks, guys.
I'm Alex and I am a survivor of domestic violence.
Hi, Alex.
I asked Denise if I could do some volunteer work and...
I meant cleaning the toilets, but...
Denise said that I should do this instead
and I said "no," and she said "yes," and here we are.
Show them your serial-killer notebook.
She says my writing looks like a serial killer's, so...
Damn, you wrote all that?
I did. Yes. I wrote this just since I've been at McMullen House.
Do any of you guys write for fun?
Brandi, you do not need to raise your hand.
I had a diary in 5th grade. It was furry and pink.
It had a little lock on it.
-Yeah. Me too. I had one of those. -Mm.
Here's the hard question.
Who were you writing to when you wrote?
Nobody. Just myself.
Yeah, same.
Writing is where I go to be honest about how I feel.
Sometimes it's really the only way for me to know what it is that I'm feeling.
Like I have to write in order to see what I'm gonna write.
If that makes any sense.
But...
I find that it's a lot easier to write the truth than it is to say it out loud.
Nobody can take writing away from you.
Nobody can tell you that you're wrong, or your words are wrong.
Because they're not.
You're right, and your words are fucking right.
Because they're yours.
Anyway, we all have notebooks and pens.
Are we gonna read this out loud?
You can if you want to, but you definitely don't have to if you don't want to.
Okay, so I brought some writing prompts
that I got from a real professor from the Internet
that is qualified to be teaching things.
Okay. Describe a day in your life that you were really happy.
It can be a real day that actually happened.
Or an imagined day that you wish would happen.
I'm gonna put ten minutes on...
the clock.
There's no pressure, we're just writing for the sake of writing.
That was great.
-Can I ask something? You have a minute? -Of course.
I know the answer to this already,
but we're not allowed to have any visitors at the shelter, are we?
No. I'm sorry, baby girl.
We can only have individual victims and their children in shelter.
-Figured. -Why?
Um, I just found out that my mom's living in a car.
Sorry to hear that.
Thanks.
Is she a victim of DV?
She's a chronic victim of DV, but she's also in complete denial
and delusional and unmedicated, so...
Is she over 55?
Mm-hm.
They have a program called SHARE that puts homeless folks at senior centers,
but she has to enroll.
Yeah. Ah...
She really hates everything government-oriented
and she's on the lam from a psych ward, so that's not gonna work out.
Thank you.
Is there anyone else that can look after your mom?
No, I've been taking care of her since I was 6.
What would happen if you didn't?
I think I'll do something, I don't know,
something spectacular when I walk in.
They come in really strong. Yeah, that's a good idea, so...
Oh, shit, man.
-Hey, Mom. -Alex, hey.
I thought that was you, I was just driving home from a clean and I saw your car.
She's hard to miss.
-What are you up to out here? -Oh, well, look at Her Majesty.
Spring has sprung.
It's gonna be a cotton-candy sunset,
and I'm gonna watch every sugar-coated moment of her.
Looks like you were talking to the birds.
Oh, no, honey.
I downloaded that dictation app onto my phone.
Because I'm giving a lecture on the Neolithic concept
of the solar barge to the collective.
And, um, I would write this one, but I can't.
Because my fucking arm's killing me.
Oh, where's your cast, Mom?
Where did your cast go?
Oh.
It was plastered to your wrist. Where did it go?
Uh...
I had a terrible itch, so I had Micah saw it off.
I have to say, it was oddly erotic.
Are you kidding me? The cast has to be on for six more weeks.
-It's fine. -No, that's not fine.
You have a severed tendon and now your tendon is not gonna heal.
If you're gonna ruin the cotton candy, you're gonna have to go.
I'm, um...
I'm glad that I ran into you.
I know that you have a great living situation in your loft
with your collective, but, um...
I told you I'm moving to Montana.
What if you came with me?
I've got a place on campus.
You could hang with Maddy
and you could go on walks and you could paint all day.
Watch Maddy start kindergarten.
Oh, babe, that's not me.
Why not?
Because I'm not boring.
I've got a big life.
I can't be galloping off behind you, being a tag along.
No, Mom. I'm really serious. I'm inviting you.
My blood's here, honey.
My mama's buried here. Her mama's buried here.
The Langley women are here.
I am a Langley woman and I am going.
I know, baby, and that's you.
But, uh...
I can't leave.
Okay.
Go to some appointments before I leave.
-Like the wrist doctor. -Hard pass.
I'm making you an appointment for tomorrow, okay?
You're gonna meet me there. Nod that you hear me.
I don't wanna have to worry about you when I'm gone, Mom.
Look at that. Cotton candy.
We're starting here, and then we're gonna go over some mountains.
We're gonna go to Spokane, which is a really big city.
Then we're gonna go over more mountains.
Then over some more mountains.
All the way to Missoula.
-Mm-hm. -Right there.
Missoula.
It's gonna take us this many hours.
Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.
Nine hours.
-And "Shoop." -Exactly.
No!
Hi, I'd like to place an order for English 102, Block 5, textbook.
For books?
Do you have any used copies?
Great, um, would you mind setting one of those aside?
I can be there on Tuesday.
Thank you.
-Hey, Tara. -Oh, good, hi.
Just a quick update for you.
I just got back from the clerk's office.
-Uh-oh. -No, it's fine.
They objected to the notice of relocation, which we knew,
but the motion for the ex parte emergency custody order
has been filed and I also slapped him with a temporary no-contact order,
so that ought to make a point.
-So he can't contact me? -Correct.
The sheriff should be serving him with the restraining order
and the ex parte motion this morning.
Okay. Uh...
-So, what happens now? -We wait.
I left word for Sean's attorney. We should know more soon.
Okay, thank you so much.
Yeah, no problem, bye.
Brandi, I think you were next, right?
I don't know if this is my happiest day ever,
but it's what came to my mind during then.
Perfect.
"I used to go on these walks with my dad as a kid.
We'd go in June before the sticky late-summer heat.
I'd get one of those Flintstone orange popsicles from 7-Eleven.
The kind you have to use all your might to push up.
We'd walk along the ocean looking at the Virgo constellations,
since my birthday is four days before his.
My dad would point to the sky and tell me
he was the Big Dipper and I was the Little Dipper.
We stopped going on our walks when my dad got sick.
But I went back recently with my son.
Got him a Flintstone orange popsicle.
They're much easier to push up now.
I looked up at the night sky, and there it was...
as if zero time had passed.
The Big and Little Dipper."
That's it.
So of course we wanna keep everything that we say positive,
but I was hoping that we could say some of the images
that are gonna stay with us from Brandi's story.
"Sticky late-summer heat."
"They're much easier to push up now."
"Zero time had passed."
"Big and Little Dipper."
Does anybody else wanna share?
Please leave a message after the tone.
Mom.
Mom!
Hey, honey.
Don't. We're going to the doctor.
-What doctor? -The doctor that you just stood up.
She can see you at00, but we have to leave right now.
It's Thursday. I didn't say I was going.
We have the booth on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
And I'm not abandoning Micah.
-Come meet my daughter. -We met the other day.
Oh.
Mom. Please, can we go?
Uh, why have you got glitter all over? Did you go to a rave?
-I cleaned a playroom. -You know what glitter is?
-It is the lice of the art room. -You gave me your word. Come on.
-You spread it wherever you go. -Would you grow up?
-We gotta go. -You're the one with glitter.
Get in my car and I'm gonna drive you to the doctor.
You're not the boss of me. Okay?
It's my arm that hurts.
I'll take CBD or go to the doctor or I'll cut the fucker off.
Just because you're on some timer because you're leaving,
doesn't mean I am. I am fantastic.
For God's sake, just worry about somebody else. Please.
-Babe. -Oh, sorry, honey.
I'm working. I've got a job here, okay?
Hi there.
You got a nice smile. Look at your smile.
-Tara? -Uh, change of plans.
Do you think you could meet me near my office on Whitby?
Is everything okay?
I spoke to Sean's attorney.
They are moving to reject the ex parte motion altogether,
citing lack of evidence of abuse.
And Sean is unwilling to revise the parenting plan
or give up any of his custodial rights.
Okay.
Thanks.
I'm sorry. So, what does that mean?
It means that he says you're lying about being abused.
So there will be an adequate-cause hearing in 14 days
to determine the validity of your claims and appropriate custody.
And it's gonna be what we call a win-loss case.
If you lose, you can't take Maddy anywhere.
Uh, ever?
Washington makes it very hard for victims of DV.
Particularly in cases of emotional--
I'm aware, I've been through this and lost because I didn't have any bruises.
You're not gonna lose.
We have 14 days to make a solid case.
Someone must have seen this guy emotionally abuse you.
I don't have 14 days. I leave for Montana on Monday.
Legally, you can't go anywhere with Maddy.
Not before the hearing.
I am gonna lose my family housing and my spot in school. I'm...
-Yes. -Another one.
I have to leave the shelter this weekend.
What do you think that I should do? I don't have a backup plan here.
We're gonna fight this.
I'm gonna get you there by fall semester.
I just took out a $9000 student loan, $9000.
I don't know if you realize, but this is my fucking life.
I'm not rich like you and Regina. I can't repay this.
There's more.
Sean is demanding visitation with Maddy.
No. We have a restraining order, so, no.
It only applies to you, not to Maddy.
The court has approved a four-hour visitation.
When?
Tomorrow.
They will appoint a third party, neutral supervisor,
unless you have someone you could use?
-A grandparent? -Not doing that.
I can't do that to her.
If you don't comply, you will be in violation of your parenting plan,
which will not look good for the hearing in 14 days.
Alex, I'm sorry that this is happening, but...
it's not over.
It's just a speed bump.
-Oh. -It's just me.
Alex. Shit. Good God.
You scared the shit out of me.
What are you doing here?
I need your help.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I had one too many margaritas and I just pulled over here to...
sleep it off on the way home.
-Mom. -I know this doesn't look good.
It's just, um...
the collective gets noisy and I come here...
to nap.
I know you sleep here, you spend all day in the park alone,
and that there's no collective.
Well...
maybe "collective" isn't the right word.
You know, we've really got a nice group of people here.
Honestly...
We've got the Flores family over here, in the van.
Billy and Anna. I just love them.
You know, we look out for each other and it's like a--
I don't know, a big sleep-out or a drive-in movie theater.
We just need popcorn.
Why can't you take care of yourself?
What do you mean? You know, I've got my cooler in here.
I've got my vitamins, baby.
Cozy blanket and my fucking good weed.
-I'm fine. -You're homeless.
You're living in your car.
-Would you just stop? -No. Please.
I love my car!
She's my cobalt bitch.
-We're like family. -You're homeless, mom.
-Would you please just stop! -You're homeless.
I'm under the stars. I'm independent.
And it's not all the time. I mean...
sometimes I stay with Micah.
When Alaina-May's not there.
-Who the fuck is Alaina-May? -I told you. His wife.
They broke up, but she still stays there because she's a feral dumpster fire.
The point is, honey, I...
You know, I like being a gypsy. I like being mobile. Okay?
You know me. I'm scrappy.
I don't know. I can't afford to put you in a motel or bring you to the shelter.
I don't know.
I am not your problem, Alexandra.
-Yes, you are. -No, I am not.
-I'm your mother. -You're not.
Yes, I am!
I am!
You said you needed my help.
I do.
So how can I help you, madam?
Can you supervise a playdate between Sean and Maddy?
He gets visitation and a third party needs to be present.
Can you do that?
Yes, I can.
-At what time should I be there? -30.
Don't you worry.
I will take care of your girl.
-You're going to the doctor. -Over my dead body.
You're going. Everything isn't all right.
Everything is fucking shit and you need to be a goddamn adult.
Your hand looks terrible. You're going!
Do I get a lollipop?
Jesus Christ!
What's that smell coming from your car?
-It smells like burnt turds. -You went to the doctor.
Yeah, look. My finger still works.
Hey, pumpkin pie.
You ready for a playdate with me and your daddy?
We're gonna have fun.
I've packed a snack and a change of clothes and she's had lunch already.
We've got this. Hi, pumpkin.
Oh, I know.
I guess I'll wait here, because I have to.
Okay, Maddy. So you're gonna be with Dad for four hours.
Thanks for sending the cops!
Very classy!
And then...
we'll go and get an ice cream together. Does that sound good?
Do you want to get ice cream? Okay.
-I love you so much. -Oh!
-Thanks, Mom. -Yeah, we're gonna have fun.
Get your Mad-dog. You're about to see your daddy.
Hey!
Sean-y, you've got your Mad-dog girl here.
-Oh! -Hey, Sean-y boy.
-She's heavy. -You're getting big.
She's getting so big.
We've been swinging and she can go so high.
Mad-dog!
Thank you for coming.
Of course.
I was worried about you falling off the face of the earth like you did.
You look okay.
I am okay.
Good. Where's Maddy?
I thought maybe I'd get to see her.
She is at the domestic violence shelter where I'm living.
They have a daycare for their victims, so...
Oh, okay.
Well, did you, um--? Did you order anything yet?
This is my second time at an emergency shelter for abused women this year.
It's the second time that Sean sent me there.
Do you hear the words coming out of my mouth?
Yes, I hear them.
And?
I wish you would have reached out to me.
Before taking my granddaughter to a place like that.
You guys have a place to live.
I would do anything to help, you know that.
I'd give you the shirt off my back, all right?
But instead you make me worry.
You make Sean worry.
I've been searching the ferry station floor
for you guys, Alex.
Okay.
Maybe you can help me now.
Because I do. I need your help.
Okay.
I filed for full custody of Maddy
so that I can take her to Missoula with me.
And Sean is objecting to it.
Yeah, I know.
Sean told me.
You know...
Sean's not doing too good right now.
I don't care how Sean's doing, Dad.
My lawyer is building a case to prove that Sean emotionally abused me.
And I have to provide evidence, testimony from people that have seen it.
Dad...
will you testify that you saw Sean emotionally abuse me?
-When would I have seen that? -At the trailer.
-No. That's not what I saw. -I saw you see it.
-No, Alex, that's not what I saw. -You sat there and didn't do a thing.
If I saw anything, what I saw was a young couple
going through a rough patch.
Sean is struggling with his sobriety right now,
and what he needs is empathy.
You're walking away from him at the exact wrong moment.
I can't be responsible for Sean any more, Dad.
I have to do what's best for me, and I have to do what's best for Maddy.
He's an alcoholic.
Okay? He's--
He's got a disease that turns him into a monster.
It's the booze that's the enemy, not him.
Okay, is it the booze that hit Mom, then?
-Okay. -Don't walk out.
Are you fucking kidding me? No!
Alex, what do you want me to say?
I want you to say, "Yes."
I want you to say, "Yes, I did hit Mom. I'm sorry."
I don't remember that.
You've never been here for me once in my entire life.
But I'm asking for you to be, right now.
I'm always there for you. For you and Maddy.
It's just it's...
Then do this for me.
Stand up for me.
Help me protect Maddy.
Write a testimonial.
I can't do that.
Then I guess we don't have much to say to each other.
Can you just--?
"My happiest day is the day my daughter touched me for the first time.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
She was nine weeks old.
She didn't know I was in hell,
terrorized day and night by her father.
To her, I was just the warm, nice milk lady.
But this one morning, when she was nine weeks old,
we were napping on the floor and I woke up
because someone was touching me.
It was her.
This tiny baby hand was holding onto my arm.
She was looking at me,
expressing unfiltered affection for me.
This look of trust on her face...
she saw me and loved me.
It was the happiest moment of my life.
That I could be that for someone."
Thank you, Denise.
You guys want to say what images stood out to you?
"Unfiltered affection."
"Warm, nice milk lady."
"Terrorized day and night."
"Tiny hands."
Does anybody else want to share?
Trina.
Mine's about a girl's night out. Is that weird?
-It's-- No.
I didn't write about my kids like you guys did.
It's your happy day. You can write about whatever you want.
Okay.
"I was at the bar with my usual wrecking crew.
Liv, Amanda and Davina.
We were slamming drinks, celebrating something,
I can't remember what.
But I'll admit it, I wasn't mad about how I was looking that night.
Then this incredibly hot man came up from behind. His--"
I'm sorry, I just have to step out for a second.
-Keep reading. Thank you so much. -Okay.
"His name was Neil. He was dressed very nice..."
It's okay. It's okay.
Are you okay? What's going on?
She just got a little upset, that's all.
She had a little meltdown and couldn't recover.
Isn't that right, pumpkin?
She just really wanted her mommy.
Um, Alex, Sean-y dropped us off, and he wants to talk to you.
I'm in the middle of class.
Honey, you need to go talk to him.
Things did not go well.
What happened?
When I told her to get off the swing, she had a tantrum. She was screaming.
-She never wants to get off the swings. -I know, but I fucking couldn't handle it.
I-- I lost my temper, and I yelled at her.
I haven't had a drink in 24 hours.
I was trying to be straight for Maddy, and, uh...
I'm irritable.
My skin fucking crawls.
The sun hurts.
I'm just rubbed raw.
I was pushing Maddy on the swings. She kept saying, "Higher, Daddy, higher."
And it was nice.
She was giggling.
But even then, I was still planning my next fucking drink.
I was trying to find some... relief.
And she had the tantrum, and I knew that if Paula wasn't there,
I'd have found a drink with Maddy in tow.
Just like my fucking mom.
I don't wanna do that to Maddy.
I'm signing over full custody to you.
I just called my lawyer.
Sorry I'm such a piece of shit.
You're doing right by her.
You can come whenever you want, and get her stuff. I'll box it up for you.
Thanks.
Do I have the DTs, or are you sparkly?
I'm sparkly.
Nice. Thanks for sharing.
That was so awesome.
"Fuck Murphy's Law." I like that line.
"Punched him like a boxer." That stood out to me.
"The cracked nightlight."
Black, not blue.
I just loved the whole thing.
You're a great writer, Edith.
-Esther. -Oh. Yeah.
Well, I'm next, right?
Mom, you didn't write anything.
Well, I can recite it.
I'm a great-- I'm just great at oration.
Mother.
Aww...
Oh, well. Okay.
-Will you wait outside? I'm almost done. -Okay.
-Bye, ladies. -Bye.
-Peace out. -You're welcome back any time, Paula.
Oh, thank you so much.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Here's to getting out of Dodge.
My man Sean-y looked like shit.
Your dad shook a lot like that.
Do you want to tell me your happiest day?
What?
The thing we were doing in group.
You have a day you remember where you were happy?
Oh.
Hands down, our first morning in Alaska.
We got into Anchorage in the middle of the night,
and you were freezing because I forgot your coat.
We left your dad's in such a panic.
I had this cabin for us, and it didn't have any furniture.
So, uh...
I just dumped all the clothes from the suitcase
in the middle of the floor and made us a bed.
And we slept there, snuggled up.
The next morning, while you were still sleeping,
I tiptoed outside,
and I just dove into the snow.
And I lay there,
and made a snow angel.
Because nobody was there to tell me I was crazy
or suddenly explode on me.
It was just me...
the sun and the snow.
Anyway, in less than a year, we were back here,
and I was broke as shit.
The whole trip was just dumb.
No, it wasn't.
It wasn't dumb.
You got me away from Dad, and you never went back to him.
Uh...
So, uh...
So am I still invited to Montana?
You want to come?
Yeah.
Hell yeah, why not?
I can get a job painting murals,
find me a mountain man.
Plus, Maddy needs me.
She's an artist like me.
Can you be ready by Monday?
I'm ready.
I'm packed, baby.
That's the nice thing about living in your car, you're packed.
I don't know if she's going to make it to Montana,
I might have to sell her for parts...
but I could hitch a ride with you, yeah?
Yeah.
-Yeah? -Yes.
-Really? -Of course.
Oh, my gosh. Yes?
Maddy!
Maddy girl, guess what.
We're going on a road trip!
Do you want to go on a road trip with Grammy?
We're going to go on a road trip!
Oh, my goodness, we're going to go on a road trip!
-Is that it? -That's it.
You can come see her as much as you want.
Yeah, I'm going to get myself cleaned up.
And then I'll come visit all the time.
I'm really going to miss her.
Good luck, Alaska.
-Save the black ones. -Yes...
Yeah, and black ones are nice.
Come on, Maddy.
This way.
All right, honey...
I'll be right back.
I didn't know you were coming by. Come on in.
I can't, I've got Maddy back there.
I just wanted to come say goodbye.
I also have been meaning to give you this.
I'm not sure if I stole it or what happened, but I had it, so...
I saw you had it on. Thanksgiving, right?
I'm really sorry.
Nah, can't blame a girl for putting on a little cashmere.
-So next stop Montana? -I'm, uh...
going to pick my mom up in Port Winslow and get on the I-90.
-Thank you for being such a good friend. -You too.
-Keep the sweater. -No, no, I'm going to buy my own one day.
It was $1400.
I'm keeping it.
-Mother? -Oh!
Hi. Hi, hi.
Oh!
Oh, honey, you must be so excited.
-You said you were going to sell your car. -I was. I mean...
I am. But, baby, honey,
I just have the most incredible news.
What?
Micah threw Alaina-May out.
He threw that feral bitch to the curb for me.
And I slept in his bed last night, in his arms.
And I'm telling you, honey, there's sex and then there's...
Oh, my God, this was on a whole new level.
Even for me.
Are you not coming?
Sweetie, you know, just not right now.
I mean, I-- I can't leave Micah right now,
I mean, what's going on between us, you know, baby,
it's just so powerful and...
It's just really...
I can't wait on you, Mom.
No, you're not. Of course you're not going to wait on me.
This is your moment.
You go, baby doll, and I'll tell you what, give me the address,
and I'll be right behind.
I just-- I'll follow you, okay?
-I don't want to leave you here. -I know.
Isn't it funny how these things work out?
I mean, as soon as I told Micah I was leaving,
he realized he had feelings for me.
I mean, baby, it was, "Boom!"
And he told Alaina-May about me and everything.
Just...
be happy for me.
I'm gonna go without you.
Yes, you're going to go. Of course you're going to go.
Sweetheart, this is your adventure. It's not mine.
You going to be okay?
-Come on, you know you love me. -I do love you.
-I know you do. Give me a really good hug. -Okay.
Oh, God.
Oh, sweetie.
-I love you, Mom. -Yeah, I know, baby.
Do you guys want to do a round of snaps for everybody?
I just want to thank you guys so much for doing this with me.
It's been a real honor.
Thank you.
Thank you, Alex.
Wait, we didn't hear your happiest day.
"My happiest day hasn't happened yet.
But it's about to.
On that day, I'm going to get in my car
that smells like old tuna...
which will be packed with all of my belongings
and my amazing daughter.
And I'm going to drive the fuck out of this town.
I'm going to drive nine hours,
566 miles to Missoula, Montana...
where I'm going to spend the next four years...
learning to be a writer.
Hopefully, there will be a lot of happy days during that time.
And I know there will be some hard ones.
Most people would bet against a single mom putting herself through college.
But they don't know what it took to get here.
Three hundred and thirty-eight toilets cleaned...
seven types of government assistance...
nine separate moves...
one night on the ferry-station floor...
and the entire third year of my daughter's life.
But, when we get to Missoula...
I'm going to take Maddy up Sentinel Mountain...
which looks over the town, and show her our new home.
I've been telling her all about the giant M
that's at the tippy-top of the mountain.
That the trail up there is long and zig-zaggy.
The hike will be hard.
But we're going to make it to the top.
And when we do...
I'm going to tell her that the M stands for 'Maddy.'
That this whole new world is for her."
Whoo!