# Boys! If we get it wrong
# We'll make it right
# We're not alone
# Girls! # Six can become one
# When we work together!
# Boy Girl Dog Cat Mouse Cheese!
# Guess you're stuck with me
# Boy Girl Dog Cat Mouse Cheese!
# Guess we're family. #
UPBEAT MUSIC
CHIMES TINKLE
Why so glum, chums?
It's a beautiful day!
MUSIC STOPS
More like bo-ring!
Well, have you tried - oh, I don't know - DOING something, then?
Like wiffle ball, ping-pong or, um, croquet?
Stop showing off with your smart science words.
Yeah. Besides, all that sounds like way too much effort.
THEY SIGH
Yeesh! You guys could even beat the Smandersons
at being the world's most boring family.
No wonder they won for most boring, cos they look like losers.
Losers. Yep. Total freaks.
The Record Busters yearbook has cooler winners too,
like the world's fastest speed walker,
the woman with the beard of bees.
Pssh. Anyone can grow a beard of bees if they drink enough honey.
Ha! You think YOU could win a world record?
Hey! I bet you all can.
Yeah! You can break records of your own choosing,
and become REALLY FAMOUS!
THEY GASP
Famous? I want to be famous. And I want to be REALLY famous!
You'll win friends. Friends? For me? Boy? This guy?
# Even trophies! #
A trophy? That I could bury?
Are you being serious right now?!
Well, sure. You can all be immortalised in this book.
Just pick something you're good at and go for it.
Well, I love seeing how much I can kick a soccer ball.
It gives me something to do when the other kids
don't pick me for their teams. And I can blow massive bubble-gum bubbles!
SHE CHOMPS
And I bet I could sing the highest note known to man!
HIGH NOTE
HE BARKS
Hey, you're good at that!
I am, aren't I? I know I can get that thing. Get over here, you!
HE BARKS
What about you, Cat?
You know, I don't think she's blinked this entire time.
HYPNOTIC MUSIC
M-i-i-i-a-o-o-o-o-o-owwww!
ALL: M-i-i-i-a-a-a-a-o-o-ow!
That settles it, then.
Cat will stare for as long as she can.
Girl, let's see how big you can blow that bubble.
Cheese, sing your heart out. Boy, keep that ball up.
And, Dog, chase that tail.
Hey, what about you?
I'm going to be your coach, and I promise you'll break those records.
I'm going to make this family great again!
THEY CHEER
Girl, I invented this gum to be super stretchy and super healthy.
Ugh! And super bland.
This is NOT about flavour. It's about winning!
You call that a bubble?! I've seen babies blow bigger spit bubbles!
Man, when did you get so mean?
Mean? It's not mean, it's called tough love. And you need it to win.
For example...HYAH!
SHE GASPS
My childhood doll!
Give it your all or there's more tough love where that came from!
MOUSE STRAINS
GIRL CHUCKLES
Girl, behind you!
CAR WHOOSHES
Hm.
HE PANTS
Ah! Ow!
I can't feel my legs any more, Coach.
Oh! Are you only made of legs?!
You got to use this!
And this!
And this! Ow! OK, I got it.
HE LAUGHS
HE PANTS
This is exhausting.
This'll get your energy up!
WHISTLE TOOTS
Oh, right.
Need the dog whistle.
HIGH-PITCHED WHISTLE
Whoa! Ruff, ruff, ruff!
That tail is your enemy, who you must destroy!
So, who's your enemy? WHO'S YOUR ENEMY? The mailwoman!
HE GROWLS
Way to dream big. Phew, sheesh!
This is why they only put cats on motivational posters.
HYPNOTIC MUSIC
You call that staring?! DO YOU?!
That's better. Oh, man, am I a great coach!
# How I pine for you, Pecorino-o-o-o-o! #
Sing higher! You must win!
Because this is what happens to cheesy losers!
CHEESE GRATER BUZZES LOUDLY
# Pecorino-o-o-o! #
HE LAUGHS
Music to my ears!
CHEESE SINGS, DOG GROWLS
Doing good, team! Real good.
ALL: Yeah!
Good for maggots! Pick it up!
Hey, are we close to beating our records yet?
Yeah, can we stop? No, you're done when I say you're done!
Yeah, you tell them, Mouse! By the way, am I done yet?
NO! Do you think the woman with the beard of bees quit
after getting stung for the 100th time?
If she was smart, yes.
NO! She died trying and she became a legend!
Now I want to see YOU become legends, too! Uh, without the dying.
Aren't you being a little harsh?
What if there's some kid named Manuel in Shanghai
blowing up bigger bubbles than you?
Then I'll crush that Manuel from Shanghai...
..AND HIS FAMILY, TOO!
That's what I want to hear.
And there's probably an endangered tree frog
that can sing higher than you!
SHE GASPS
Well, then, I'm going to make that frog...
# Ext-i-i-inct! #
CAR ALARM BLARES
Good. Now, I promised to help you beat records,
so I'm not going to let YOU let ME down now. Got it?!
OK, but why do I feel motivated and guilty at the same time?
Welcome to life as a dog.
Less feeling, more winning!
Now get to it!
I'll be monitoring your progress from the coach's room.
CAR BEEPS
PICK IT UP!
CHEESE SINGS, DOG GROWLS
Lookin' good. Phone, play some music to keep 'em pumped.
Pulling up playlist Victory or Death.
BASSY DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
Aaaaah!
Ruff, ruff, ruff!
# Aaaaaaaa! #
Phew! Boy, all this coaching is exhausting.
I'm hitting the hay, Phone, so you keep track of their progress, OK?
Sure, I just LOVE constantly being told what to do.
What?! Nothing, goodnight.
DANCE MUSIC BLARES
BIRDS CHIRP
HE YAWNS
What time is it?
It is 7:00 am and all the records have been broken.
Really? All right!
Good news, everyone - we did it!
HE GASPS
Mailwoman, tormentor of the strange hole in the door,
I have a special delivery...
..your doom!
SHE HOLDS NOTE
Whoa, whoa, it's OK, everyone, you've succeeded.
You can stop! No! We're in the zone! No, you're in a bubble!
This is my home now.
Besides, I can't let that punk Manuel in Shanghai beat me.
He thinks he's so great, but he's really a loser!
I told you, he's hypothetical - he doesn't exist!
You don't know that! There could be kids all over the world
who are moments away from beating us right now. Right?
ALL: Right!
Please, listen to reason! You're going to burn yourselves out!
What about school? And life?
I-I can't win at those,
but I CAN win at bouncing this ball!
Oh, no! I've created a monster.
Oh, five monsters!
Think - what would a scientist do with monsters?
Create them, check, then...
..DESTROY THEM!
Hey! It's over, but you'll be OK.
Might have to cut all your hair, though.
BOY GASPS
No! My baby! My beautiful, round baby!
SHE HOLDS NOTE
Wow, you're, uh...you're, like, super jacked.
MOUSE CRIES OUT
TOOT!
Mouse! Who knows where the mailwoman has run off to now?
Oh, I'm sorry I pushed you guys so hard.
It's just...I wanted you guys to achieve something great
and be winners, like me.
And you just beat the record for world's worst apology ever.
Look, I was wrong to train you so intensely.
You guys must be exhausted.
So, give me your worst. Grrrrr!
I'll start. Mouse, you rotten...
SNORING
HE SIGHS Better fetch the wheelbarrow.
So, in conclusion, I hope you understand
my full five-hour apology. Thank you for listening.
You're forgiven, Mouse. Besides, thanks to you,
we'll all be in next year's Record Busters yearbook.
Wait, this book is from 1983?!
That's over 200 dog years ago.
What are the current records?
Way more than what we did! We weren't even close!
MOUSE WHIMPERS
Uh, sorry.
Heh, you know anyone can make that mistake, right?
Eh, yeah, well, I've got to do, uh, some, uh, mouse things!
MOUSE SCREAMS
Huh. Current record for rodent driving speed is 1mph.
Mouse is probably going 100. So he just beat a world record? Yup.
Let's not tell him. Yeah, no, we're not telling him.
HYPNOTIC MUSIC
Mia-o-o-o-o-w...