1 00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:03,628 Previously on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"... 2 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,924 You are the least Mormon person on the planet. 3 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,050 -I'm 100% Mormon. -Okay. 4 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,802 That's why my kid's serving the Lord. 5 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,512 [laughs] 6 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,681 So, Monica, what's going on with the car? 7 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,683 I pay for everything, but it's in my mom's name, 8 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,769 so every time she gets mad at me, she takes the car. 9 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:23,023 Left me without a ----ing car and my four kids. 10 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:25,692 My intent was never to cause harm. 11 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,528 And that's where I wanna end it. I'm done. I feel good, Monica. 12 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,238 I don't wanna have bad feelings with you. 13 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,366 I don't ever wanna ----ing talk about you again or toyou. 14 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,869 -Business 101. -Stop talking to me. 15 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,370 -You realize--I amcalm. -Okay. You guys--you guys 16 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,997 totally don't like each other. -Stop. 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,167 [tones resounding] 18 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:51,426 *** 19 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,553 -Hey. Heather? -Hi! 20 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,555 -So nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you in person. Hi. 21 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,308 -Yes. So glad to have met. -So excited. Hi. I'm Heather. 22 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,143 -Hi. Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 23 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,394 So, tell me a little bit about your event. 24 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,688 Okay, so I'm trying to set a vibe 25 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,690 that's, like, a lot more book club-by. 26 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,317 -Yeah. -Because the last event 27 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,611 we did was, like, 900 people. -Right. 28 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,654 So, this I want to be, like, much more intimate. 29 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:12,864 -Like, people have chairs. -Totally. 30 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,783 -They have drinks, you know? -Yeah. Okay. 31 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,576 The routine is basically I get up there. 32 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,536 Like, someone introduces me, then I do, like, a spiel. 33 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,455 Like, I talk. I do a reading from the book. 34 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,582 I talk about the experience of writing the book. 35 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,542 So, having kind of like a stage presence here. 36 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,461 A rug, and kind of like a little bit more of 37 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:29,172 a cozy, intimate seating. -This is gonna be great. 38 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:33,927 *** 39 00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,804 [singsongy] Celia. 40 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,848 Hi, pretty girl. 41 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,726 [gasps] Look at you. Should we brush your hair? 42 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,977 That feel good? 43 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,605 *** 44 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,191 [whispers] There we go. 45 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,609 *** 46 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:52,195 So pretty. Yes. Can you see better now? 47 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,155 Should we get your hair out of your eyes? 48 00:01:56,241 --> 00:02:06,292 *** 49 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:17,929 *** 50 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,473 [music warps and winds down] 51 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,648 [music winds up and resumes] 52 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:29,899 [doorbell rings] 53 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,361 -[singsongy] Hey. -Hi. 54 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,364 -How's it going? -Oh, I'm just, like, enjoying-- 55 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,825 -Are you tired? -I'm--no, I'm sorry. 56 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,870 I'm in pajamas because Justin's away on a business trip. 57 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,288 LISA: I would wear that out. 58 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,123 But I'm just, like, living it up, Lisa. 59 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:49,836 I'm like, my first night off from having an event. 60 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,297 -People in town. -Yeah, people in town. 61 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,174 So, I'm like, I'm making a charcuterie board 62 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,176 and pouring wine... -Oh, my gosh. 63 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,261 ...and letting the kids watch a movie, and I'm gonna just chill. 64 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,888 -[cellphone rings] -Oh, my gosh. 65 00:02:59,929 --> 00:03:02,223 -Heather's calling me right now. -Heather. 66 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,683 What's up, Lisa Barlow? 67 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,894 Um, I'm at Whitney's. Say hi to Whitney. 68 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,396 -Hi, Heather. -Oh. Oh, hey, Whitney. 69 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:11,483 [singsongy] I'm with my bestie. Um... 70 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,943 You two little peas in a pod. 71 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,445 -[laughs] -So jealous. 72 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,156 Lisa, I have an idea. It's a little bit of a shtick. 73 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,699 -Okay. -I don't know if you 74 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,826 will be into it, but I thought you could 75 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,953 introduce me at the book tour event. 76 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,914 We could come up with something fun where, like, 77 00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,916 you'll have the mic. You'll be onstage. You can sing. 78 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,251 -Okay. -Sing, like, "Away in a Manger" 79 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,795 or-- -I'm in. 80 00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:34,339 -I love it. -Okay, well, thanks. 81 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,550 -All right. Bye, Heather. -Okay, bye-ee. 82 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,219 Deep down she lovesme. She lovesme. 83 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,845 Now I think we have to read the book. 84 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,347 [laughs] No, we have to read the book. 85 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,099 At least the parts about us. 86 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,350 Can I sit by you, or is that... 87 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,310 Yeah, sit by me. I'm, like, inhaling food. 88 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,853 -Are you gonna eat? -Yeah, I am. 89 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,605 I'm gonna grab a napkin real quick. 90 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,607 -I went for the paper towels. -Oh, look, 91 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,484 I even have Prism leftovers. -Oh, my gosh, I love those. 92 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,736 You probably didn't see those at the event, did you? 93 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,447 No, I didn't get to see much. It was all a blur. 94 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,574 I remember the beginning and kind of the end, 95 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,536 and that was it. -So, what the [bleep] happened? 96 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,413 Um, I don't know. It was so weird. 97 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,039 The whole thing was so weird. 98 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,542 I'm, like, mortified that the two of you 99 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,168 behaved that way at my, like, Prism event. 100 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,753 -I mean, I-- -Because, Lisa-- 101 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,922 I didn't start it. I did not start that. 102 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,882 -I don't care who started it. -'Kay. 103 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:22,429 Like, you both should have enough self-awareness 104 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,139 and self-control to realize that 105 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:27,058 you're screaming and yelling at my business event. 106 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,435 What did you hear me scream? 107 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,228 -Oh, I could hear you screaming. -What did I scream? 108 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,312 "Stop it!" 109 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:34,274 Please stop talking to me! 110 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,859 "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" 111 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,318 I said, "Please stop talking to me." 112 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,195 She would not stop. She-- I don't even know where she was. 113 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,905 During a sound bath, like, Lisa. 114 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,283 Okay, so it's my fault Monica's ri-ridiculous, okay. 115 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,993 Uh, no. It's both of your fault. 116 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,413 I was equally upset with both of you, 117 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,040 probably a little more upset with you 118 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,083 because I know that you know my brand, 119 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,960 you know my heart, you know my journey. 120 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,587 Are you kidding me? 121 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,465 You of all people should not be talking to me 122 00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,966 about event etiquette. 123 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,135 Did you forget about Coach Shah's birthday party? 124 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,804 Why are your friends saying they're scared of you and not-- 125 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,974 They're not my ----ing friends! I don't ----ing know! 126 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,393 And you're, like, chastising me. 127 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:14,189 Maybe I should be mad at her for having a cash bar and no food. 128 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,900 You deserve an apology, Whitney. 129 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:20,195 That's, like, I am so sorry that that happened at your event. 130 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,654 -All right. -I'm so sorry. 131 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,323 I'm responsible for staying. 132 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,575 And I'm confused by Ange's behavior, too, 133 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,285 because I don't feel like shelikes Monica. 134 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,953 I don't think Monica likes her. 135 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,581 I don't know what their side conversations are. I don't. 136 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,500 Are you upset with Ange over that? 137 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:34,959 I'm not upset with her. I'm hurt by her. 138 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,711 Because when we left-- 'cause I'm piecing it together. 139 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,339 And when you left, you were upset with-- 140 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,299 'cause Ange and Monica were hugging. 141 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,926 I gotta go to my kids. 142 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:44,928 Look at this huggy-huggy-huggy it out! 143 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,639 Like, I honestly think it's so weird. 144 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,308 Well, it's--it contradicts what Ange says. 145 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,018 The ocular doesn't match the words. 146 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,896 I do think that there is this weird sense 147 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,399 that Angie has to please you. I do see it. 148 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,736 I think maybe Angie does placate... 149 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,530 -She's--She's-- -...to your emotions 150 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:04,989 and not wanna upset you. -No. 151 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,408 'Cause she loves you and adores you. 152 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,826 No, that's not the case. That's not the case, no. 153 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:11,079 You don't--Has she ever stood up to you? 154 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,207 I think that you're triggered as sh-- over Angie and Monica. 155 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,377 I'm gonna tell you exactly how I feel so nobody has to guess. 156 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:20,714 I have no problem with Monica other than she upset my friend. 157 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,716 -That is it! End of story. -I know. 158 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,551 So, I'm not triggered by their friendship. 159 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,637 I'm th--I'm triggered by the fact that I'm like, 160 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,514 "What the [bleep] are you doing, Ange?" 161 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,890 *** 162 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,685 It can be very difficult to talk to Lisa 163 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,772 because Lisa can only see things from her perspective. 164 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,734 And if you don't agree with that perspective, 165 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,153 she takes it as you are against her. 166 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,156 So, I understand why Angie is very hesitant 167 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,949 to tell Lisa how she feels, 168 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:53,079 because Lisa is gonna take it as a personal attack. 169 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,622 I don't care if they're ----ing friends! 170 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,166 That's the bottom line. Don't lie about it. 171 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,876 But it seems like you care. 172 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,587 No, but don't lie about it! If you're calling me and saying, 173 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:01,838 "[bleep] Monica. [bleep] her. [bleep] her"-- 174 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,798 -Yeah. I don't-- -If you're calling me 175 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,217 and saying, "[bleep] her"-- -I swear in front of my friends, 176 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,094 but I really, like, I don't talk like that in my house. 177 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,097 Okay. Sorry, Brooks, if you can hear me. 178 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,474 He's right there. 179 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,892 Please go upstairs and shut your door. 180 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,393 You didn't do anything wrong. 181 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,228 I think that they're getting upset 'cause they think 182 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,397 that you and I are, like, mad at each other. 183 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,732 -Okay. -Like, they can hear us. 184 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,525 I'm happy to listen, but, like, 185 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,943 if we keep yelling at each other, 186 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,570 my kids are getting upset 'cause they're not-- 187 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,780 I'm not yelling at you. I'm-- Listen--okay. 188 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,031 Well, just saying I know you're-- 189 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,366 -Lisa, I know you're not. -Okay. 190 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,658 -And I know--I know how you are. -Okay, I'm gonna-- 191 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,785 I just want you to know we're in my home. 192 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,578 -Okay. -Justin's out of town. 193 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,121 My kids aren't used to this. Like... 194 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,540 -Okay. Okay. -I don't really talk this way 195 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,000 in the home. Does that make sense? Like... 196 00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,043 -Yeah, fine. -I'm fine to do it with you... 197 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,294 -Okay, Whitney? -...but I don't-- 198 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,587 Okay, Whitney, understood. 199 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,797 My kids are just, like, different. 200 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:44,714 -Understood. -They don't understand 201 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,341 what's going on. -No, understood. 202 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,801 They think we're, like, yelling at each other, about ready to 203 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,094 tear each other's throats out. -Okay. Okay. Understood. 204 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,261 -And they're concerned... -Understood. Understood. 205 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,471 ...'cause they're not used to hearing this. 206 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,056 Understood. 207 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,350 Oh, my God. Like, all of a sudden, 208 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,436 I'm Emily Post, and I'm gonna explain to you 209 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,813 how you should behave. 210 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,314 Well, let me get you a copy, bitch. 211 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,982 Because the first rule is 212 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,235 don't make your guests feel uncomfortable. 213 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:08,029 To me, when it comes to Ange, 214 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,366 she has to figure out, does she want that relationship? 215 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,828 Great if you do, but then don't tell me you don't want it. 216 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:18,415 That's what's triggering. I just don't wanna be lied to. 217 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,167 *** 218 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,628 That's it. I don't wanna be lied to. 219 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,879 Coming up... 220 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,215 ...that you were threatening my family. 221 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,675 I'm not threatening your family. 222 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,302 You said it-- "I could ruin their family." 223 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,097 "But I'm not going to." Big difference. 224 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,524 *** 225 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,572 [doorbell rings] 226 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,240 MARY: [singsongy] There's Heather! 227 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:55,493 *** 228 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,037 -Hello! -Hello! 229 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,956 How are you? And you look so cute. 230 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,459 Wow. Didn't you get fancy for just my house. 231 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,044 -Hi, Heather! -Of course. 232 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,171 Thanks for having me. 233 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,131 -Thank you for coming. -You smell good, too. 234 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,800 -First time? -First time ever. 235 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,927 When Mary invited me to come see where she lives, 236 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,679 there was no question. 237 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,181 -Oh, my gosh, Mary. -I know, right? 238 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,516 Grandpa Joe gets out of bed for two reasons-- 239 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,604 Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and Mary Cosby's house tour. 240 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,022 Oh, my gosh. 241 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,108 Mary's decor is exactly like Mary's personality. 242 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,486 You never quite know what you're gonna get. 243 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:34,741 Green carpet, Chanel pillows, Dr. Seuss chairs from Whoville. 244 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,284 *** 245 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:37,285 Wow. 246 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,120 *** 247 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,914 HEATHER: And it's Tiffany blue. 248 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,792 MARY: It isTiffany blue. You're exactly right. 249 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,586 -Here's a chair for you. -Thank you. 250 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,588 -Yeah. -This is fantastic. 251 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,590 -Thank you. -Thank you for having me. 252 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,551 I just wanted to have you over just to talk to you, 253 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,137 and we've always had, like, a connection. 254 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,597 -Yeah. -I mean, you could say no 255 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,724 if you don't agree. 256 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,143 But I feel like I always feel connected to you, 257 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,813 and I think it's the spiritual side of things. 258 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,941 I think it's our church up-growing. 259 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,693 Our understanding kind of each other's backgrounds, 260 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,069 spiritual backgrounds... -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 261 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,487 ...and, like, way of communicating, for sure. 262 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:13,822 Mm-hmm. 263 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:18,118 I've known Heather for... a few years now, 264 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,203 and I never really got to spend, 265 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,163 like, one-on-one time with Heather 266 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,165 because she was always up under Jen. 267 00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,918 So, now that Jen's gone, I could really, like, have 268 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,171 a real, like, real conversation with her 269 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,258 and see how she's doing. And I wanted to talk to her 270 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,802 about what she put about me in her book. 271 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:39,764 That being said, how do you feel about... 272 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,308 not being at the Church? 273 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,187 Right now has been a really tumultuous time for me because 274 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,898 I don't really have the resources I used to have. 275 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,026 Like, I used to have a church community. 276 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,485 I used to have church that I could go to 277 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,612 every single Sunday, but I wrote the book, 278 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,365 um, and I mean, you know how our community is. 279 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,408 Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm. 280 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,076 We don't take kindly to dissenters... 281 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,996 -Mm-hmm. Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh. -...or to critics of the faith. 282 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,372 We don't accept 'em. 283 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:07,042 I just feel like Heather, like, wants both. 284 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,835 She wants God, she wants her community, 285 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,170 she wants her church, 286 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,047 and then she wants her dark side, 287 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,965 but she cannot have both. 288 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,842 Like, she definitely has to pick a side. 289 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,803 -Speaking of the book... -Yes. The book. 290 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,221 So, you've read the book? 291 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,766 I read the part that you wrote about me. 292 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,476 Is that the only part you read? 293 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,145 I read--I...you know, here and kind of... 294 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,438 -You skimmed it. -Yeah. 295 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,939 -Okay. -I kind of skimmed through it, 296 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,900 but that was the part that I remembered. 297 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,735 -Yeah. -Because it wasn't true. 298 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,404 The part where I wrote about you? 299 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,073 Yes. 300 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,493 -Every word was true. -No, it was not. 301 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,869 Absolutely. 302 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,579 No. Heather, some of that was not true, 303 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,165 what you said--wrote about me. 304 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,917 "Mary was equal parts elusive and forthcoming, 305 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,835 engaging and disinterested. 306 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,171 I agreed with anything and everything she said. 307 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,091 And when she corrected my grammar, my pronunciation, 308 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,426 my diet, and my physical appearance, 309 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:03,014 I hung my head in shame and thanked her sincerely." 310 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,266 -Like, I was this... -I thought I celebrated you. 311 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,895 ...bougie po--Like, I'm this bougie, poised... 312 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,022 Miss Mary, you arebougie and poised. 313 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,941 -No, I'm not. -[laughs] 314 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,651 I don't think anything I said was that bad. 315 00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:18,113 And if anything, I erred on the side of caution. 316 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,240 I want you to know I care about you. 317 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,492 I know, and I feel like that's the place we're in now. 318 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,953 I think a lot of what I wrote about in the book was in a place 319 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,913 where we were more careless 320 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,456 with the mean things we said to each other, 321 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,375 and that's what kind of got in the book. 322 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,043 Okay. 323 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,754 I mean, there were harsh words exchanged. 324 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,297 That was-- That was the part that-- 325 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,633 -And what did you find harsh? -Well, I think you-- 326 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,011 'Cause I thought you were harsh towards me. 327 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:44,514 Well, I mean, you've said I don't even know I look inbred. 328 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:58,403 -Do you think I look inbred? -I do. 329 00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,446 *** 330 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,905 Oh, Lord. [snickers] 331 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,073 [snorts] Oh, sorry. 332 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,242 [whispers] Sorry. 333 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,660 Oh, God. 334 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,871 That--Heather's gonna get me for that one. 335 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,205 So, did that bother you when I said that? 336 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,124 Yeah, because inbred means ugly. 337 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,877 Well, if that bothered you, let me apologize now. 338 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,171 I just was angry, and I'm sorry. 339 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,173 -Like, I really am sorry. -I appreciate that. 340 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,342 Yeah. I would never want to intentionally hurt you 341 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,094 or say things to you that is not true. 342 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,888 I mean, it's just-- it's hard because 343 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,098 a lot of people are upset about what I wrote in the book. 344 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,434 You're not the first one to come to me and say, 345 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,728 "I'm upset about it," but I was trying to tell my story 346 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,146 as authentically as possible 347 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,065 without hurting too many feelings. 348 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:38,109 As much as I--that part that was like, ugh, 349 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,444 I'm so proud of you. 350 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,446 -Well, thank you. -I'm proud of you. 351 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,448 And one day you can write your own book, 352 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,951 and you'll see how hard it is to be authentic, but also be kind. 353 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,912 [laughs] 354 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,917 But this has been really fun. Thanks for having me. 355 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,211 I love--your house is grand. 356 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,254 I think we need, like, to have a spectacular party 357 00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,548 at night with all the lights. 358 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,966 Party one thing, 359 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,802 but the people that are at your party matters to me. 360 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,679 [laughs] 361 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,515 Coming up... 362 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,059 -Oh, look! Oh, look! There's-- -Is that Vovó? 363 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,185 -That's your car. -Oh, my God. 364 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,104 I don't want her to come in here. 365 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,148 -What are you doing here? -I come bearing gifts. 366 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:32,372 *** 367 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,461 Okay, here we go. 368 00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,838 *** 369 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,965 I've got this SquadCast thing open 370 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,925 like you told me to last time. 371 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:47,595 Well, I just never closed it, to be totally transparent here. 372 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:52,434 Um, so do I just hit "join session"? 373 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,103 Okay. 374 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:58,231 Hold on. So, here's what I see on my screen. 375 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,486 Antonio, I was really good at-- the first part 376 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,489 of plugging everything in, I'm really good at. 377 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:10,326 Oh, there. I appeared. See? I'm really good. 378 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:13,329 -Who are you talking to? -Antonio. 379 00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,374 -He's helping me get set up. -Antonio! 380 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,669 Okay. Welcome back to "Hanging by a Thread." 381 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:23,715 So, we are picking up where we left off last time, 382 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:27,052 which was, uh, going into our wedding. 383 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,722 [smacking lips] 384 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,350 -Could you stop? -[laughs] 385 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,435 Seth and I have really busy schedules, 386 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,228 and we can't necessarily get together 387 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,357 every single week to record a podcast. 388 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:43,610 So, we wanna have some of them banked 389 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,196 to make sure we actually have something to air every week, 390 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:50,909 but reeling Seth in is a job in and of itself. 391 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,370 So, our wedding. 392 00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:54,704 Oof! 393 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,165 First of all, you wanted to have, like, 394 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,584 the biggest production of all time. 395 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:03,963 I think it was 350. 3-5-0 guests. 396 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:06,174 Ritz-Carlton, Chicago. Had to be at the Ritz-Carlton. 397 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:07,717 Didn't have to be at the Ritz-Carlton. 398 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,427 Oh, it could have been at the Four Seasons. 399 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,429 I'm sorry. We had the prenuptial dinner there. 400 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,810 No, we have a post-nup. 401 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,730 The reason we had a post-nup... 402 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:24,401 -15 years into the marriage. -15 years into the marriage. 403 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:28,571 You were very disconnected from me at that point in time. 404 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,198 *** 405 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,951 I was moving with three children 406 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,579 from Chicago to Park City, Utah, 407 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,666 where, if you were to go get a divorce, 408 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:43,294 it is not favorable for women in Utah. 409 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,255 I was worried that I would lose my children 410 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,257 and be stuck somewhere that I didn't know 411 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,843 and that he would leave me. 412 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,177 *** 413 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,388 And that is why I had a post-nup. 414 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,265 There was nothing financial in it. 415 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:59,394 It was strictly about custody of our children. 416 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:01,813 You were afraid Iwas gonna leave you? 417 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,566 Mm-hmm. 418 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:08,528 I don't think Seth remembers how bad things really were. 419 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:11,614 Like, back then, I was terrified he was leaving. 420 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,826 Like, we were not happy together. It was not good. 421 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,038 During this whole time, I believe it was 422 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:23,126 the husband's responsibility to provide the financial support 423 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:26,004 for your family and nothing else. 424 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,797 Make as much money as you can. 425 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,800 Provide a better life for your kids than you had. 426 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:33,303 But I would--when the kids had issues or challenges 427 00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:34,846 or homework or problems, 428 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:38,558 I didn't want anything to do with it. 429 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,228 I wasn't there for, like, from an emotional support standpoint, 430 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,981 and I regret that. 431 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,649 *** 432 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,777 And... 433 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,824 And--And I apologize for that. 434 00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:57,994 *** 435 00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,788 [whispers] Thank you. 436 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:05,669 Yeah, I take responsibility for it, and that's why I know 437 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,212 that they're-- -Uh-oh. 438 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,296 -[music warps and winds down] -What? 439 00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:11,508 Is this recording? No? 440 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,803 Oh, my God. Meredith, you are sh--ting me. 441 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:18,682 No, you did not not get that sh--. 442 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,767 Seriously? 443 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:26,189 [laughter] 444 00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:37,367 *** 445 00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:39,327 [giggling] 446 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,246 -MONICA: Bri? -Yeah. 447 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,249 -Let's finish your prom stuff. -Okay! 448 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,710 Hey! Hey, hey. Who did this? 449 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,877 Me! 450 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:51,214 *** 451 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:54,884 Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You wanna help Bri? 452 00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:55,885 Okay, Bri, what else do we need to do for your prom stuff? 453 00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:57,887 I wanna help you! I wanna help you! 454 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,305 We just need to blow balloons up. 455 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,515 Jaid, do you know how to tie 'em? 456 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,559 Yes, I know how to tie a balloon. 457 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,603 I don't. [laughs] I don't know how to tie 'em. 458 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,022 Oh, look! Oh, look! There's a... 459 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,441 Is that Vovó? What are you talking about? 460 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:12,402 That's Vovó. 461 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:13,945 -That's your car. -Oh, my God. 462 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:19,034 Okay, Bri, I don't want her to come in here 463 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,286 with the kids, for real. 464 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,329 So, can you please just... 465 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,248 Lock the door after you go out? 466 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,083 Stay in here with them? 467 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,335 -Latches? -Yeah. 468 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,712 There's been zero communication 469 00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:35,091 between my mother and I since dinner. None. 470 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,551 We're lost. 471 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,219 All I care about is that this sh-- 472 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:39,471 is now affecting my children, 473 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,431 and that's where I draw the ----ing line. 474 00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,892 When you take our vehicle, I'm done. 475 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,811 -Oh, so it's my fault? -That's exactly what I'm saying. 476 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,981 *** 477 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,858 What are you doing here? 478 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,110 -Hi. -Why... 479 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,362 I come bearing gifts. 480 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:58,114 This is not a gift. 481 00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,742 A peace offering. 482 00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:02,869 -Okay? -I can't do this anymore. 483 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,663 -Okay. -Like, I can't live with, 484 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,582 when you get upset or mad, 485 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:10,085 that you are just going to come and take my car from me. 486 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:13,046 I'm just trying to get your attention. 487 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,131 Then I'll stop. I won't do it anymore. 488 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,967 I won't do it anymore. 489 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,719 This is our pattern. 490 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,138 Our relationship has always been very volatile 491 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,390 and very up and down. 492 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,809 It's like high highs and low lows. 493 00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:30,146 I clearly have... some skills to learn. 494 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:31,815 *** 495 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,693 When we had dinner, I was serious about therapy. 496 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,653 I think it would be so good for us. 497 00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:39,489 I think we need to get back on track. 498 00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:43,827 Are you down with having therapy with me? 499 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:49,165 I don't know. I would like to think about it, to be honest, 500 00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:52,127 because we have gone to therapy for years, and-- 501 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,921 But it was such a long time ago. 502 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,674 -[sighs] -The cycle of dysfunction 503 00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,884 in our family goes back generations, right? 504 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:02,470 You and I can be the ones to break it. 505 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,597 We can do that. 506 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,141 -Mom... -[stammers] 507 00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,685 ...you just kidnapped my car from me, 508 00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:10,603 and you wanna talk about dysfunction. 509 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,564 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 510 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:17,277 My mother and I have been to therapy together severaltimes, 511 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:19,029 but it did not help. 512 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:21,865 We go to therapy. My mother shows up. She's not herself. 513 00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:24,617 And unless you're gonna go to therapy 514 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,995 and be really freaking, brutally honest 515 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:30,623 and show up as your messed up self, 516 00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:32,542 it doesn't fix anything. 517 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:37,047 You and I? Look at me. We can be the ones. 518 00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:38,381 *** 519 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,592 We--I'm serious. 520 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,719 I just need time to think about it. 521 00:21:42,761 --> 00:21:44,012 You better get to walking, though, 522 00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:46,556 'cause it's gonna be a coldwalk home. 523 00:21:46,598 --> 00:21:49,851 You cannot be serious. 524 00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:52,020 I mean, it's beautiful out. 525 00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:53,313 Can Bri drive me? 526 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:56,441 No. 527 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:16,252 *** 528 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,802 -Heavy. [laughs] -Good luck. 529 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:26,096 Okay, wish me luck. Thanks, Alan. 530 00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:28,348 *** 531 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,808 Did anybody order a music stand? 532 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,685 -[chuckles] -The book tour has had me 533 00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:33,853 stopping in cities all around the country, 534 00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:37,190 but this is the first small book event in Salt Lake City. 535 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:38,525 Mmm! 536 00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,235 What I love most about these book events is 537 00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:43,863 meeting up with people who have similar experiences 538 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:47,492 and stories as mine and just makes me feel less isolated. 539 00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:48,952 It makes me feel connected, 540 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:52,497 and it makes me feel like I've gained more than I've lost. 541 00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:55,208 Um, we did oversell a bit. 542 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:56,626 -Okay, that's me. -So... 543 00:22:56,668 --> 00:22:58,920 I always oversell. I sell out venues. 544 00:22:58,962 --> 00:23:00,171 This is what we need to plan on in the future. 545 00:23:00,213 --> 00:23:01,673 It's good, though. It's good, though. 546 00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:04,259 Let me stash this. 547 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:11,725 *** 548 00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:14,310 [singsongy] Hi. How are you guys? 549 00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:16,688 Hi! Tony, this is Lisa. He's running the event. 550 00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:17,897 -Hi, Tony. -Very nice to meet you. 551 00:23:17,939 --> 00:23:19,315 How are you? So nice to meet you. 552 00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,526 Oh, it looks awesome. Oh, I love the living room setup. 553 00:23:21,568 --> 00:23:22,986 -Yeah. -It's kind of a vibe, right? 554 00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:24,946 Do you know I own, like, a hundred couches 555 00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:26,531 if you ever need 'em. -You have a hundred couches? 556 00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:27,365 Not like a hundred, but, like, a lot. 557 00:23:27,407 --> 00:23:28,533 [laughs] 558 00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,535 -Can I practice? -Yeah. 559 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:32,037 Isn't this a nice turn of events? 560 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,747 [amplified voice] Testing, testing. 561 00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:35,206 This week has not been my favorite. 562 00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:37,584 I feel like I'm in this, like, weird place with Whitney. 563 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,377 -I don't really talk this way... -Okay. 564 00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:40,712 ...with--in the home. 565 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,464 -Does that make sense? -Yeah. Fair. 566 00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:44,090 And I don't really feel like talking to Angie 567 00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,468 about anything that happened last week. 568 00:23:46,509 --> 00:23:47,594 Don't let her set you off, Lisa. 569 00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:49,054 Why are you saying this to me? 570 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,555 You started this whole thing with Shawn. 571 00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,932 I'm just really wanting to have a good time with Heather. 572 00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:56,186 -* I just want Lisa to love me * -[laughing] 573 00:23:56,227 --> 00:23:58,438 I just wanna have a good time with the Good Time Girl. 574 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,939 Live like Lisa. 575 00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:01,608 You'll be a great Mormon without even trying. 576 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:02,942 -Ah! -You got this. 577 00:24:02,984 --> 00:24:04,527 * That's going in one ear and out the other * 578 00:24:04,569 --> 00:24:07,072 [laughter] 579 00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:11,117 *** 580 00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:12,827 -Hi! -Hi! 581 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:14,621 -You're matching the book. -Yes, my doll. 582 00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:16,247 You look gorgeous. Oh, my gosh. 583 00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,750 -Hi! -Hi! 584 00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:21,961 *** 585 00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:24,839 [indistinct conversations] 586 00:24:24,881 --> 00:24:27,425 I haven't gotten one text 587 00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,553 or one phone call from Lisa since the Prism event. 588 00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:34,432 Normally, Lisa and I talk about 80 to 100 times a day, 589 00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:36,393 and now she's ignoring me, 590 00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:40,563 so I know that Lisa's annoyed, and something's up. 591 00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:43,983 *** 592 00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:46,027 Do you guys have anything without Vida? 593 00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:47,946 [indistinct conversations] 594 00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,949 I have not seen Lisa since our... 595 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:54,244 spiritual encounter at the sound bath. 596 00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:56,746 -Whatever. -[mockingly] Whatever! 597 00:24:56,788 --> 00:24:58,498 I feel like every time I turn around, 598 00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:00,000 I get a jump scare... -[bloodcurdling scream] 599 00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:02,627 ...because there she ----ing is. 600 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:04,254 Thank you guys so much. 601 00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:05,505 Will you make sure that people that bought seats 602 00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:06,798 are getting seated and not... -That's what I-- 603 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:07,966 -That's what I said, yeah. -Hey. 604 00:25:08,008 --> 00:25:08,967 -Hi. Let's come back. -I am nervous now. 605 00:25:09,009 --> 00:25:10,135 Let me talk to you about one thing. 606 00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:11,177 I'm nervous now. 607 00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:12,387 -Okay. -Did you get nervous or no? 608 00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:14,389 Yes! I'm so nervous. I'm gonna get a drink. 609 00:25:14,431 --> 00:25:15,890 You don't seem nervous. Here, do you want mine? 610 00:25:15,932 --> 00:25:17,267 Yeah, I want one sip. Is this-- 611 00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:18,643 Did you see the Vida tequila drinks they made? 612 00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:21,563 Yes. Thank you. Thank you. 613 00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:23,314 I just wanted to fill you in 614 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,316 a little bit on what happened at the Prism event. 615 00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:30,447 Lisa and I totally got into it, and...it got very nasty. 616 00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:32,615 We were bickering back and forth, and she was like, 617 00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:35,243 "Whatever, Monica. Your own mother doesn't even want you." 618 00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:38,246 -You're not my mother. -Okay, Monica. 619 00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:39,831 So, I don't need to listen to you. 620 00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:42,042 Loving the moment. 621 00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:46,504 -So... -She said that to you? 622 00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:47,756 Mm-hmm. 623 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,841 I'm not gonna let her bully me around 624 00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:52,886 or say things and not bite back. 625 00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:55,180 You just nailed the problem right on the head. 626 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:58,975 Your exact words to me were, "I react rather than..." 627 00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:00,852 -Yeah. -"...respond." 628 00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:05,398 If you can try to give a response 629 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,734 rather than a reaction, 630 00:26:07,776 --> 00:26:10,153 I think you'll have more success. 631 00:26:10,195 --> 00:26:12,614 Yeah, that sounds healthy, so I probably won't do it. 632 00:26:12,655 --> 00:26:15,200 [laughing] 633 00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:17,118 So... [laughs] 634 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,370 -Sorry to interrupt. -Hi! 635 00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:20,663 Can we get seated? We'll get started. 636 00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:22,123 -Yes, absolutely. -Yes, of course. 637 00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:23,166 Okay. 638 00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:24,834 *** 639 00:26:24,876 --> 00:26:26,878 [singsongy] Surprise! 640 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,630 -[laughs] -[cheers and applause] 641 00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:30,382 Thank you, everyone, for coming. 642 00:26:30,423 --> 00:26:33,343 Heather told me about this special day, 643 00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:36,221 and I'm here to give you a little rendition 644 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:39,349 of my hit single... -[cheers and applause] 645 00:26:39,391 --> 00:26:41,184 ..."Away in a Manger." 646 00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:43,478 -[laughs] -[cheers and applause] 647 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,107 * Away in a manger * 648 00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:49,901 * No crib for his bed * 649 00:26:49,943 --> 00:26:54,155 -No! -* The little Lord Jesus * 650 00:26:54,197 --> 00:26:57,200 * Lay down his sweet head * 651 00:26:57,242 --> 00:26:59,744 *** 652 00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,079 Um... 653 00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,414 Whose side are you on, Angie? 654 00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:04,249 Like, you're sitting here snickering with Monica 655 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,793 as I'm up here supporting our friend? 656 00:27:06,835 --> 00:27:09,337 This is exactly why I'm avoiding her. 657 00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:11,756 Actually, you know what? I'm kind of bored with this song. 658 00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:12,966 -[laughter] -Heather? 659 00:27:13,008 --> 00:27:15,635 Do you need a little energy? What?! 660 00:27:15,677 --> 00:27:16,928 [cheers and applause] 661 00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:18,263 That song was way too good. 662 00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:19,431 You need to make it a little bad. 663 00:27:19,472 --> 00:27:21,891 Could I get a big "amen" for Lisa Barlow? 664 00:27:21,933 --> 00:27:23,852 Whoo! 665 00:27:23,893 --> 00:27:25,562 How about another one? 666 00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:26,896 -[Lisa laughs] -Amen! 667 00:27:26,938 --> 00:27:28,148 * Amen * 668 00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:29,774 Whoo! 669 00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:30,942 * Amen * 670 00:27:30,984 --> 00:27:33,945 * Amen, amen * 671 00:27:33,987 --> 00:27:36,031 -Come on up here, choir. -Whoo! 672 00:27:36,072 --> 00:27:39,284 This is like the Salt Lake City Loco Vocals, 673 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:40,785 and we are gonna give Lisa a little beat. 674 00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:42,120 Can we give Lisa a beat, choir? 675 00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:45,373 [rhythmically] Boom, boom, tch, boom, boom, tch. 676 00:27:45,415 --> 00:27:47,667 [rapping] * Away in SLC in her new crib in her bed * 677 00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:50,754 * This bad-selling author laid down her sweet head * 678 00:27:50,795 --> 00:27:53,548 * The stars in the heavens look down where she lay * 679 00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:56,092 * Singing sweet dreams of this book sales * 680 00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:57,969 * To this bad girl...Gay * 681 00:27:58,011 --> 00:28:00,764 [cheers and applause] 682 00:28:00,805 --> 00:28:02,682 Thank you so much, Lisa. Good job. 683 00:28:02,724 --> 00:28:04,351 -That was awful. -Whoo! 684 00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:06,978 I give Lisa a lot of credit for getting up there 685 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:08,355 and doing that. 686 00:28:08,396 --> 00:28:11,691 Um... [laughs] 687 00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:15,737 But I don't know that she has a future in rapping. 688 00:28:15,779 --> 00:28:17,781 Um... 689 00:28:17,822 --> 00:28:19,491 What the [bleep]? 690 00:28:19,532 --> 00:28:21,910 Truly, like, wow. 691 00:28:21,951 --> 00:28:24,412 Let me think how to word this. [laughs] 692 00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:27,332 -I want my money back. -[laughs] Monica. 693 00:28:27,374 --> 00:28:29,501 Guys, thank you so much for being here. 694 00:28:29,542 --> 00:28:33,755 This is the culmination of an international book tour. 695 00:28:33,797 --> 00:28:37,217 I'm just beyond honored to have you all here tonight. 696 00:28:37,258 --> 00:28:40,011 I never imagined that I would write a book, 697 00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,263 and I never imagined that that book 698 00:28:42,305 --> 00:28:44,349 would be so well received. 699 00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:48,853 I never wanted to be a bad Mormon. 700 00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:50,689 I wanted to be a good Mormon. 701 00:28:50,730 --> 00:28:53,191 And in fact, I wanted to be a perfect Mormon. 702 00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:54,693 I'm gonna read you a little bit of my book 703 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:57,487 that'll help you understand a little bit about my story. 704 00:28:57,529 --> 00:29:01,908 [cheers and applause] 705 00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:05,120 "On a flight back from Norway recently, 706 00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:07,747 I discovered my seat was separated from my friends. 707 00:29:07,789 --> 00:29:09,624 We considered asking the young man across the aisle 708 00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:11,167 to switch seats. 709 00:29:11,209 --> 00:29:12,877 Before we could summon the courage, 710 00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:14,254 he looked over and volunteered. 711 00:29:14,295 --> 00:29:16,923 Later, as we waited in baggage claim, 712 00:29:16,965 --> 00:29:19,009 I saw him reach into his pocket 713 00:29:19,050 --> 00:29:21,177 and pull out a little black placard 714 00:29:21,219 --> 00:29:23,763 and affix it to his shirt. 715 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:25,265 'You're a missionary?' 716 00:29:25,306 --> 00:29:27,559 Immediately, he launched into an explanation. 717 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,187 'Yeah, we aren't allowed to wear our name tags in Amsterdam.' 718 00:29:31,229 --> 00:29:33,690 He was so apologetic, worried that I might rat him out 719 00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:35,358 to the authorities. 720 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,029 'No, no, no,' I reassured him. 'It's not about your name tag. 721 00:29:39,070 --> 00:29:42,198 There was just something different about you. 722 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,326 And now I know what it was.' 723 00:29:45,368 --> 00:29:48,371 What I really wanted to do at that moment was hug him. 724 00:29:48,413 --> 00:29:52,167 I wanted to say, 'I know you because I was you, 725 00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:54,961 and what you hold sacred, I held sacred. 726 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:57,464 And if one day you realize that you want 727 00:29:57,505 --> 00:30:00,717 to leave all of this, you can, ad you can come find me, 728 00:30:00,759 --> 00:30:03,762 and I'll still know you, and I'll help you. 729 00:30:03,803 --> 00:30:07,682 I don't want you to ever think that I'm not on your side.' 730 00:30:07,724 --> 00:30:09,517 Despite everything, when that missionary 731 00:30:09,559 --> 00:30:11,770 put on that little black name tag, 732 00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:15,648 there was no one in the airport that I wanted to talk to more." 733 00:30:15,690 --> 00:30:19,235 Listening to Heather is very eye-opening 734 00:30:19,277 --> 00:30:23,281 because I do see we have so many similarities. 735 00:30:23,323 --> 00:30:26,910 Growing up, my mother and I always had 736 00:30:26,951 --> 00:30:28,453 the missionaries in our home. 737 00:30:28,495 --> 00:30:31,915 We always signed up to feed them meals, 738 00:30:31,956 --> 00:30:33,458 and those are very good memories 739 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:37,253 because it kind of felt like older brothers. 740 00:30:37,295 --> 00:30:40,215 It was just--It was--It... 741 00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:41,966 They're very cherished memories, 742 00:30:42,008 --> 00:30:43,551 and I'm very grateful for missionaries, 743 00:30:43,593 --> 00:30:46,471 so I can completely relate to Heather. 744 00:30:46,513 --> 00:30:48,973 I'm gonna lean down and get a selfie with everybody. 745 00:30:49,015 --> 00:30:52,352 *** 746 00:30:52,394 --> 00:30:54,062 -[camera shutter clicks] -You've arrived, folks. 747 00:31:01,403 --> 00:31:01,736 *** 748 00:31:03,446 --> 00:31:05,448 If you brought your books, I wanna sign 'em 749 00:31:05,490 --> 00:31:07,033 and meet you. -[cheers and applause] 750 00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:09,077 Thank you so much. 751 00:31:09,119 --> 00:31:11,121 Thank you. 752 00:31:11,162 --> 00:31:13,039 I'll just set up right here. 753 00:31:13,081 --> 00:31:16,209 Heather, you did such a good job. 754 00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:19,421 This has been like the best year of my life. 755 00:31:19,462 --> 00:31:21,297 -How's it going? -I'm great. 756 00:31:21,339 --> 00:31:23,049 -Thank you. -You were so good. 757 00:31:23,091 --> 00:31:24,884 -Tell me your name. -Shan. 758 00:31:24,926 --> 00:31:28,179 I can't believe that someone asked me to write a book. 759 00:31:28,221 --> 00:31:29,764 I can't believe that people read the book. 760 00:31:29,806 --> 00:31:32,600 I can't believe that people loved the book. 761 00:31:32,642 --> 00:31:34,269 -Hi, sis. -I'm not gonna cry, I promise. 762 00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:35,895 You can cry. 763 00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:39,315 Oh, I've cried already six times today. [laughs] 764 00:31:39,357 --> 00:31:42,193 And I don't want it to end. I wanna keep doing this, 765 00:31:42,235 --> 00:31:43,778 and I wanna write a second book, 766 00:31:43,820 --> 00:31:46,948 and I wanna write a third book, and I wanna keep exploring, 767 00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:50,869 like, who I am and why I feel the way I do 768 00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:53,079 and hope that it reaches other people, too. 769 00:31:53,121 --> 00:31:56,249 I wanted to leave the church, but I stayed for my parents. 770 00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:59,002 I get it. 771 00:31:59,044 --> 00:32:02,088 I feel connected to these people, 772 00:32:02,130 --> 00:32:05,383 and I feel like they are the community 773 00:32:05,425 --> 00:32:07,927 that replaced the Church in my life. 774 00:32:07,969 --> 00:32:11,097 I enjoyed tonight so much. Like, you did such a good job. 775 00:32:11,139 --> 00:32:12,640 -Really? -Yeah. You got me emotional. 776 00:32:12,682 --> 00:32:14,100 Did it help you kind of understand me a little bit more? 777 00:32:14,142 --> 00:32:15,477 Yes. Yes. 778 00:32:15,518 --> 00:32:16,644 There's things that you said and then I'm like, 779 00:32:16,686 --> 00:32:17,979 oh, you're crying with the missionaries. 780 00:32:18,021 --> 00:32:19,731 And I'm like, my son's gonna be one of them. 781 00:32:19,773 --> 00:32:22,150 I know, and I feel--that's why, like, I wanna be a part of it 782 00:32:22,192 --> 00:32:24,027 because I feel like I understand it, 783 00:32:24,069 --> 00:32:26,905 but I'm also left out because I wrote this book. 784 00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:29,574 I think I just wanna be validated that, like, 785 00:32:29,616 --> 00:32:33,536 the rules do exist for some people, you know what I mean? 786 00:32:33,578 --> 00:32:35,121 -And just because you're... -Okay. 787 00:32:35,163 --> 00:32:36,414 ...they don't directly affect you. I'm looking for validation. 788 00:32:36,456 --> 00:32:37,540 If that's what you're looking for this time-- 789 00:32:37,582 --> 00:32:39,376 It took all this time to get to that? 790 00:32:39,417 --> 00:32:40,919 Yes, I'm still trying to figure it out. 791 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,462 Heather, you're validated. I think if you grow up 792 00:32:42,504 --> 00:32:44,881 culturally here, there's a weird set of rules that our-- 793 00:32:44,923 --> 00:32:47,550 my kids don't have because I don't raise them with them. 794 00:32:47,592 --> 00:32:50,845 It's nice that Heather and I finally hit a place 795 00:32:50,887 --> 00:32:54,265 where we can, like, just accept each other. 796 00:32:54,307 --> 00:32:57,977 You're still figuring out where you are 797 00:32:58,019 --> 00:32:59,688 in the journey, and there's nothing wrong with that. 798 00:32:59,729 --> 00:33:01,648 You know, Heather and I have had a lot of issues, 799 00:33:01,690 --> 00:33:04,275 and the one thing that has really bothered me the most 800 00:33:04,317 --> 00:33:07,028 is the way she talks about Jack's mission. 801 00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:09,572 What this mission means for Jack is that he gets 802 00:33:09,614 --> 00:33:11,032 to go out and serve others, 803 00:33:11,074 --> 00:33:14,452 that he gets to promote kindness and love, 804 00:33:14,494 --> 00:33:18,039 and it's totally different than Heather's experience. 805 00:33:18,081 --> 00:33:22,210 But I definitely have a different understanding 806 00:33:22,252 --> 00:33:25,130 of Heather now, and I feel like for the first time, 807 00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:26,798 she's realizing that, like, 808 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:32,637 there's not one way to live any religion, and specifically ours. 809 00:33:32,679 --> 00:33:35,598 You make a lot of people feel good. 810 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,392 I need to be more open to your experience and, like, 811 00:33:37,434 --> 00:33:40,729 the fact that, like, instead of just being like, it's not fair. 812 00:33:40,770 --> 00:33:42,731 You can't wear strapless dresses and drink tequila. 813 00:33:42,772 --> 00:33:44,482 I think it's okay to have both. 814 00:33:44,524 --> 00:33:47,902 This is definitely a big breakthrough for me and Lisa. 815 00:33:47,944 --> 00:33:50,196 To share this moment with her feels healing. 816 00:33:50,238 --> 00:33:51,990 It feels exciting, 817 00:33:52,032 --> 00:33:55,452 and it makes me really glad that she's my friend 818 00:33:55,493 --> 00:33:57,579 and that she showed up for me today. 819 00:33:57,620 --> 00:34:00,040 For the first time, I'm not bringing her game down. 820 00:34:00,081 --> 00:34:03,585 *** 821 00:34:03,626 --> 00:34:05,545 -Have you guys talked at all? -No. 822 00:34:05,587 --> 00:34:07,088 -No. -Oh, okay. Okay. 823 00:34:07,130 --> 00:34:08,590 -I just didn't know. -No, we're just standing here. 824 00:34:08,631 --> 00:34:10,717 -You didn't miss anything. -Okay. [laughs] 825 00:34:10,759 --> 00:34:12,635 I'm not gonna make a big deal about this, 826 00:34:12,677 --> 00:34:16,514 but I know that you were making threats, 827 00:34:16,556 --> 00:34:18,767 and--and--and I don't want you to run away on me today. 828 00:34:18,808 --> 00:34:22,270 I'm just gonna tell you why I'm hurt as a mother-- 829 00:34:22,312 --> 00:34:23,438 that you were saying 830 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,607 that you were threatening my family. 831 00:34:25,648 --> 00:34:27,025 I'm not threatening your family. 832 00:34:27,067 --> 00:34:28,401 You said it-- "I could ruin their family." 833 00:34:28,443 --> 00:34:30,320 "But I'm not going to." 834 00:34:30,362 --> 00:34:31,363 But you couldn't ruin my family. 835 00:34:31,404 --> 00:34:32,614 Big difference. 836 00:34:32,655 --> 00:34:33,948 You don't have the power to ruin my family. 837 00:34:33,990 --> 00:34:36,201 -Okay, Angie. Great. -Even with words. 838 00:34:36,242 --> 00:34:37,702 Yeah, I don't. You're right. 839 00:34:37,744 --> 00:34:39,662 Why does this have to get so passive-aggressive? 840 00:34:39,704 --> 00:34:40,955 I'm just telling you how you made me feel. 841 00:34:40,997 --> 00:34:43,416 And I am very sorry that that made you feel badly 842 00:34:43,458 --> 00:34:45,627 and hurt your feelings and upset you. 843 00:34:45,669 --> 00:34:46,878 -Okay. Thank you. -What else would you like 844 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,713 for me to say to you? -Nothing else. 845 00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:51,132 I mean, that's more than I'm getting than Lisa Barlow. 846 00:34:51,174 --> 00:34:53,051 -So, let's move on. -I've moved on, Meredith. 847 00:34:53,093 --> 00:34:56,346 Thank you. And I will move on now, too. 848 00:34:56,388 --> 00:34:57,889 -Are you leaving? -Pleasure to see you. 849 00:34:57,931 --> 00:34:59,391 Okay, bye. 850 00:34:59,432 --> 00:35:00,642 Thank you for not running away this time. 851 00:35:00,684 --> 00:35:02,143 -Ohh. -I-I don't. 852 00:35:02,185 --> 00:35:06,189 I mean that. I'm glad we got through that. Thank you. 853 00:35:06,231 --> 00:35:09,567 This "apology" from Meredith-- it feels shady. 854 00:35:09,609 --> 00:35:11,236 It feels fake. 855 00:35:11,277 --> 00:35:14,531 It feels like Meredith. [laughs] 856 00:35:14,572 --> 00:35:16,074 We need more of these book tours. 857 00:35:16,116 --> 00:35:17,492 -They're my favorite thing ever. -I know. They fill my soul. 858 00:35:17,534 --> 00:35:19,494 -Right? They're the best. -I literally was so... 859 00:35:19,536 --> 00:35:21,162 -I was so emotional, just... -I know, Georgie. 860 00:35:21,204 --> 00:35:22,747 We were crying. 861 00:35:22,789 --> 00:35:25,417 -I am doing this second book. -Really? 862 00:35:25,458 --> 00:35:27,377 -Oh, wow! -That's so exciting. 863 00:35:27,419 --> 00:35:29,004 It's gonna be-- It's gonna be a lot more 864 00:35:29,045 --> 00:35:30,672 and a little bit more intense than "Bad Mormon." 865 00:35:30,714 --> 00:35:32,966 But before I write it, 866 00:35:33,008 --> 00:35:35,510 I just feel like I haven't checked in with you guys. 867 00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:37,846 -And, like, are you on board? -Of course. 868 00:35:37,887 --> 00:35:40,515 Like, are you willing to take the burrito on the car 869 00:35:40,557 --> 00:35:43,601 and the SafeUT bullying reports 870 00:35:43,643 --> 00:35:46,438 and, like, if it puts a target on your backs? 871 00:35:46,479 --> 00:35:48,690 I think as long as it's done out of... 872 00:35:48,732 --> 00:35:52,819 like, a place of healing and, like... 873 00:35:52,861 --> 00:35:54,988 passion from you and not out of a place of, 874 00:35:55,030 --> 00:35:56,698 "Oh, I'm trying to get back at them." 875 00:35:56,740 --> 00:35:57,991 -Yeah. -If it's something you wanna do, 876 00:35:58,033 --> 00:35:59,034 of course. -Just, like, telling your story, 877 00:35:59,075 --> 00:36:00,827 then I think, for sure, go for it. 878 00:36:00,869 --> 00:36:03,580 Having my daughters support me and give their blessing for me 879 00:36:03,621 --> 00:36:06,750 to write a second book means everything to me. 880 00:36:06,791 --> 00:36:08,793 Book number two together. 881 00:36:08,835 --> 00:36:12,297 As a mom, it feels so rewarding to know 882 00:36:12,339 --> 00:36:15,717 that you've raised children that are resilient. 883 00:36:15,759 --> 00:36:18,094 -Okay. I love you guys. -I love you. 884 00:36:18,136 --> 00:36:20,930 Thanks for being here. You're the best. 885 00:36:23,183 --> 00:36:33,234 *** 886 00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:38,615 *** 887 00:36:40,241 --> 00:36:41,785 I hate the way I feel right now. 888 00:36:41,826 --> 00:36:44,079 I'm friends with Angie, but I'm feeling frustrated. 889 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,082 I'm feeling hurt. I'm feeling blindsided 890 00:36:47,123 --> 00:36:51,920 because I don't understand why my friend is behaving like this. 891 00:36:51,961 --> 00:36:53,338 I don't understand why I don't feel like 892 00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:55,298 my friend is my friend. 893 00:36:55,340 --> 00:37:01,471 *** 894 00:37:01,513 --> 00:37:03,515 [doorbell rings] 895 00:37:15,276 --> 00:37:15,610 *** 896 00:37:18,738 --> 00:37:22,325 [doorbell rings] 897 00:37:22,367 --> 00:37:28,039 *** 898 00:37:28,081 --> 00:37:29,541 -[singsongy] Hey. -Hi. Morning. 899 00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:31,668 -Good morning. What's up? -Good to see ya. 900 00:37:31,710 --> 00:37:33,920 -Good to see you, too. -Love your painting. 901 00:37:33,962 --> 00:37:36,047 Thank you. That one I've had forever. 902 00:37:36,089 --> 00:37:38,049 I have, like, a couple new ones coming. 903 00:37:38,091 --> 00:37:40,885 Hey. I grabbed us croissants from Kneaders. 904 00:37:40,927 --> 00:37:42,512 -Oh, love it. -Do you want anything to eat? 905 00:37:42,554 --> 00:37:45,181 -I'm always hungry. -I'll have a croissant with you. 906 00:37:45,223 --> 00:37:47,225 Okay, let me see. 907 00:37:47,267 --> 00:37:49,144 -Croissant. Here you go. -Thank you. 908 00:37:49,185 --> 00:37:50,520 I'm gonna grab a muffin. 909 00:37:50,562 --> 00:37:52,063 Do you want to sit up here, or do you wanna sit on-- 910 00:37:52,105 --> 00:37:55,275 No, let's sit on the sofa. How's everything going? 911 00:37:55,316 --> 00:37:57,569 Just, you know, the usual. I've... 912 00:37:57,610 --> 00:37:58,820 Yeah. 913 00:37:58,862 --> 00:37:59,988 We haven't talked for a couple days. 914 00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:01,531 Nope. 915 00:38:01,573 --> 00:38:03,116 I just felt like I needed a minute... 916 00:38:03,158 --> 00:38:04,409 Mmm. 917 00:38:04,451 --> 00:38:05,910 ...to, like, gather my thoughts. 918 00:38:05,952 --> 00:38:09,330 I just felt overwhelmed after Whitney's Prism event. 919 00:38:09,372 --> 00:38:11,916 Whitney's Prism event, Bobbie's birthday party. 920 00:38:11,958 --> 00:38:14,377 Bobbie's birthday party, and you left upset. 921 00:38:14,419 --> 00:38:16,087 Yeah, I needed a break, too. 922 00:38:17,172 --> 00:38:20,550 I just didn't realize that Monica had 923 00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,761 such big issues with me. 924 00:38:22,802 --> 00:38:24,137 Look, I know you're upset. 925 00:38:24,179 --> 00:38:26,222 I think you feel like I'm taking her side. 926 00:38:26,264 --> 00:38:27,766 -Like, I-- -I--Wait, wait, wait. 927 00:38:27,807 --> 00:38:29,934 I'm confused right now. 928 00:38:29,976 --> 00:38:33,021 I did not feel like you're taking Monica's side at all. 929 00:38:33,063 --> 00:38:37,442 What bothered me is you--you tell me you don't like Monica, 930 00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:39,778 you don't want a relationship with Monica, 931 00:38:39,819 --> 00:38:41,613 that you're not really that close with her. 932 00:38:41,654 --> 00:38:42,655 -I'm not. -So, I'm like, 933 00:38:42,697 --> 00:38:44,115 what is this all about then? 934 00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:45,992 The optic doesn't match the conversations, 935 00:38:46,034 --> 00:38:47,869 and it's confusing for me. 936 00:38:47,911 --> 00:38:49,371 You're right. All of that is true. 937 00:38:49,412 --> 00:38:50,789 -Yeah. -I'm not denying 938 00:38:50,830 --> 00:38:52,374 that I've had those feelings. -Mm-hmm. 939 00:38:52,415 --> 00:38:54,125 I'm not denying that I have said negative things about her. 940 00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:57,504 But look, woman to woman, she asked for a sit-down to talk 941 00:38:57,545 --> 00:38:59,839 about what happened at my house at Greek Easter. 942 00:38:59,881 --> 00:39:03,259 I hate that it went so badly. 943 00:39:03,301 --> 00:39:04,886 I know. I do, too. 944 00:39:04,928 --> 00:39:08,890 Telling you what was being said was my way of being a friend. 945 00:39:08,932 --> 00:39:10,975 -I mean that. I mean that. -Yeah. Thank you. 946 00:39:11,017 --> 00:39:13,144 I'm sorry things ended the way they did. 947 00:39:13,186 --> 00:39:14,896 It helps me understand you a lot better. 948 00:39:14,938 --> 00:39:18,983 Things left good with us, and that's why at this point, 949 00:39:19,025 --> 00:39:20,652 I'm trying to move forward with her. 950 00:39:20,694 --> 00:39:22,153 See, I didn't know any of that. 951 00:39:22,195 --> 00:39:23,822 And there was-- there was some resolve. 952 00:39:23,863 --> 00:39:25,365 I'm gonna take full responsibility 953 00:39:25,407 --> 00:39:26,825 and take accountability. 954 00:39:26,866 --> 00:39:29,828 I probably have been wishy-washy along the way at times. 955 00:39:29,869 --> 00:39:33,581 And maybe part of why I haven't been clear 956 00:39:33,623 --> 00:39:36,334 is because am I afraid to be clear? 957 00:39:36,376 --> 00:39:37,919 I'm not saying I wanna be best friends with Monica. 958 00:39:37,961 --> 00:39:39,504 Why would you be afraid to be clear? 959 00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:42,257 Well, I don't know if it's subconscious because, like, 960 00:39:42,298 --> 00:39:44,467 when you found out that I painted birdhouses 961 00:39:44,509 --> 00:39:47,345 at Heather's, you were so upset with me, Lisa. 962 00:39:47,387 --> 00:39:49,055 I am literally getting triggered by this 963 00:39:49,097 --> 00:39:52,100 because I'm like, this is ----ing bullsh--. 964 00:39:52,142 --> 00:39:55,603 You got an apology. I have never gotten that from Heather. 965 00:39:55,645 --> 00:39:58,023 I was afraid to tell you that I went to Heather's house 966 00:39:58,064 --> 00:39:59,607 until after I went to Heather's house. 967 00:39:59,649 --> 00:40:02,819 Your insecurities in telling me stuff is not my problem. 968 00:40:02,861 --> 00:40:05,238 It is such a ----ing cop-out to say 969 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,073 I'm the reason you're not telling me something. 970 00:40:07,115 --> 00:40:08,950 You'rethe reason you're not telling me something. 971 00:40:08,992 --> 00:40:11,411 You're weak, you're afraid, and you're a liar. 972 00:40:11,453 --> 00:40:13,621 I thought you're gonna think this takes away 973 00:40:13,663 --> 00:40:15,206 from who I am to you as a friend. 974 00:40:15,248 --> 00:40:17,542 Why would I think that? I don't think that way. 975 00:40:17,584 --> 00:40:19,127 You're projecting that onto me. 976 00:40:19,169 --> 00:40:22,005 I got upset because she apologized to you 977 00:40:22,047 --> 00:40:24,799 for how you took a beating, and I took a beating. 978 00:40:24,841 --> 00:40:26,926 -I get it. -And it was like a beating 979 00:40:26,968 --> 00:40:28,470 over and over again. That's what triggered me. 980 00:40:28,511 --> 00:40:31,890 It's my nature to get along with people. 981 00:40:31,931 --> 00:40:34,476 So, I'm wanting to find peace with Monica. 982 00:40:34,517 --> 00:40:36,394 I'm wanting to move forward with Heather, 983 00:40:36,436 --> 00:40:39,981 and Lisa is hurt by both of those friendships. 984 00:40:40,023 --> 00:40:41,524 It's like all stemming from, like, 985 00:40:41,566 --> 00:40:43,276 her getting hurt from Angie... 986 00:40:43,318 --> 00:40:44,778 *** 987 00:40:44,819 --> 00:40:47,489 ...her getting hurt from Jen. 988 00:40:47,530 --> 00:40:49,032 But I'm not those people. 989 00:40:49,074 --> 00:40:51,076 How do you think it feels to be me in this situation? 990 00:40:51,117 --> 00:40:52,911 Like, my friends are hiding things. 991 00:40:52,952 --> 00:40:55,372 Like, I'm transparent with you. I'm an open book. 992 00:40:55,413 --> 00:40:57,540 I say exactly how I feel. I say exactly what I mean. 993 00:40:57,582 --> 00:40:59,292 -And I support everything. -So if you're not being honest 994 00:40:59,334 --> 00:41:00,710 with me, that's on you. -I would never blow up with you 995 00:41:00,752 --> 00:41:02,671 if you went to someone's house, so it's easy for you 996 00:41:02,712 --> 00:41:04,047 to tell me that. -That's on you 997 00:41:04,089 --> 00:41:05,465 if you're not honest, so you're claiming you not-- 998 00:41:05,507 --> 00:41:07,092 When I tried to touch you at the bar, you pulled away. 999 00:41:07,133 --> 00:41:07,884 -Oh, so you not being-- -You pulled away and said, 1000 00:41:07,926 --> 00:41:10,345 "Don't touch me." 1001 00:41:10,387 --> 00:41:12,430 Don't touch me. Don't touch me. 1002 00:41:12,472 --> 00:41:14,432 -[whispers] Lisa, don't do that. -Don't touch me. 1003 00:41:14,474 --> 00:41:16,726 I would never treat you that way, and that's why it's easy 1004 00:41:16,768 --> 00:41:18,269 for you to have this conversation. 1005 00:41:18,311 --> 00:41:19,938 Because I don't feel like you're being honest with me, Ange. 1006 00:41:19,979 --> 00:41:21,940 That's why I'm acting this way. 1007 00:41:24,609 --> 00:41:26,820 I'm just gonna move forward and keep her at a distance 1008 00:41:26,861 --> 00:41:30,281 but still be cordial and kind to her when I see her. That's all. 1009 00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:31,449 I don't want you to feel like you have to have 1010 00:41:31,491 --> 00:41:34,536 secrets from me. I'm never mad at you. 1011 00:41:34,577 --> 00:41:36,663 There are other things that have hurt me, 1012 00:41:36,705 --> 00:41:38,289 and I've explained that to you. 1013 00:41:38,331 --> 00:41:40,208 I'm still healing from some things, 1014 00:41:40,250 --> 00:41:42,877 and it was very triggering, 1015 00:41:42,919 --> 00:41:44,504 which is why I pumped the brakes with Meredith 1016 00:41:44,546 --> 00:41:46,214 to have this happen to you. 1017 00:41:46,256 --> 00:41:49,926 How you feel about not telling me things isn't me. 1018 00:41:49,968 --> 00:41:51,344 -It's me. -It's you. 1019 00:41:51,386 --> 00:41:52,971 -Yeah. -And I can't control that. 1020 00:41:53,013 --> 00:41:54,931 I just want more clarity 1021 00:41:54,973 --> 00:41:57,350 and, you know, like, consistency. 1022 00:41:57,392 --> 00:42:00,645 There is never a doubt in my mind that you're not my friend. 1023 00:42:00,687 --> 00:42:02,939 Like, you know, you can do, like, whatever with whomever, 1024 00:42:02,981 --> 00:42:04,482 and I'm--and it doesn't mean 1025 00:42:04,524 --> 00:42:05,984 you're better friends with somebody else. 1026 00:42:06,026 --> 00:42:09,320 I'm not 5. I don't think that way. 1027 00:42:09,362 --> 00:42:11,156 I don't ever want you to feel like you can't 1028 00:42:11,197 --> 00:42:13,033 tell me something, Ange. Like, that-- 1029 00:42:13,074 --> 00:42:14,534 Well, and I don't wanna feel that way either. 1030 00:42:14,576 --> 00:42:16,202 -No, and I--but that's-- -And I think I have. 1031 00:42:16,244 --> 00:42:18,038 -But I think it's-- -And that's--that's on me. 1032 00:42:18,079 --> 00:42:20,165 Maybe I've been on eggshells a little bit 1033 00:42:20,206 --> 00:42:21,541 because I'm concerned about your feelings, 1034 00:42:21,583 --> 00:42:23,793 and that's backfired on me now because 1035 00:42:23,835 --> 00:42:26,671 I haven't told you things, and you're hurt, and I'm sorry. 1036 00:42:26,713 --> 00:42:29,674 Same. 1037 00:42:29,716 --> 00:42:31,009 So, we're good. 1038 00:42:31,051 --> 00:42:34,763 *** 1039 00:42:34,804 --> 00:42:37,932 Next time on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"... 1040 00:42:37,974 --> 00:42:41,186 We have to, like, be vigorous. Like, we've gotta, like... 1041 00:42:41,227 --> 00:42:42,687 It only takes six minutes. 1042 00:42:42,729 --> 00:42:44,981 You guys have done this for longer than six minutes. 1043 00:42:45,023 --> 00:42:48,651 Joining us, Whitney and Justin Rose. 1044 00:42:48,693 --> 00:42:51,321 Craziest place you guys ever had whoopee. 1045 00:42:51,363 --> 00:42:53,198 [laughs] Dear Jesus, please don't... 1046 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,450 What if we got everybody together and went to Bermuda, 1047 00:42:55,492 --> 00:42:56,868 like, for your birthday? 1048 00:42:56,910 --> 00:42:58,078 Wait, I would die! 1049 00:42:58,119 --> 00:42:59,746 -You are so ugly. -...treated your mother. 1050 00:42:59,788 --> 00:43:01,206 She's the one that sits down and starts with me. 1051 00:43:01,247 --> 00:43:03,667 -Monica. -You're being crazy. 1052 00:43:03,708 --> 00:43:05,418 -Monica. -Opa! 1053 00:43:07,504 --> 00:43:09,130 Crazy. 1054 00:43:09,172 --> 00:43:10,590 ***