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Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
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MAN:
* Hit it, Rico, hit it, Rico *
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-Whoo!
-Hi!
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* Hey *
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At some point
I wanna talk to you
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if you're open to it.
-You know what?
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You've had two months
to reach out to me.
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Well, I just want you
to know I love you,
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and I'm really, really sorry.
-Leave me alone.
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I'm hearing rumors left, right,
and center about Lisa.
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-That they exist.
-Yeah.
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We need to get to New York
for a pre-trial meeting.
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My trial
is seven weeks from today.
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I would be lying
if I said I wasn't scared.
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Why don't we hurry
and take a quick trip
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before Jen goes to New York?
And I was thinking Arizona.
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-Scottsdale.
-Oh, my God. I'm in. Let's go.
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So, the past keeps showing up
over and over.
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'Cause I don't have
a memory of it.
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Clearing out this trauma
with your early childhood
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allows you to move forward.
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-Can I hug you?
-Yes, please do!
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***
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JEN: I'm fighting for my life,
not your approval.
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***
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WHITNEY:
I am more of a free spirit
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without the Holy Spirit.
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***
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LISA:
I'll always have your back
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if you stop stabbing me
in mine.
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MEREDITH: When I take a shot,
I always hit my mark.
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***
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HEATHER:
I may be a bad Mormon,
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but I'll always be a good time.
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***
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[grunting]
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Oh. Ah.
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Aah!
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Out.
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If I lose, you give me
a 3-hour massage?
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[laughs] No.
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[laughs]
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***
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I'm impressed that you're up.
Like, didn't you have
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your fraternity,
sorority thing last night?
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I did go out last night.
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But, you know,
I'm up and going, 8 a.m.
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I didn't know that
Thursday nights were big nights.
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In my defense,
they weren't big nights at BYU.
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***
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Have you talked
to your counselor
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about colleges
or places you wanna go?
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We really gotta
get serious about this.
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Do you want me
to call the school?
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You know
he doesn't want you to do it.
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I know.
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***
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Bubba, come here.
Come try this.
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***
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Is that too big? Wait.
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Jen?
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Hi, Mom.
I'm in the kitchen.
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CHARLENE: Oh, okay.
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Ooh. How nice.
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A keto-friendly charcuterie
snack board for you.
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I got your favorite thing
for us to do.
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What is that?
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-A puzzle.
-Oh, good.
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Ever since
the legal situation happened,
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my mom is somebody
I lean on a lot.
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Let's sit down over here.
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The fact that I can be
accused of these things
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that I'm innocent of,
it scares me.
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I need to know
that I'm gonna be okay,
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and she gives me
that reassurance and comfort.
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This puzzle's
the North Shore Hawaii.
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But a thousand pieces? Really?
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Oh, wait, look, here's
three pieces are put together.
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Yay! There you go.
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So, I had a call with
my lead trial attorney, Priya.
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It's getting--
You know, it's getting closer.
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Yes.
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So yesterday, was like a mock
trial of the prosecution side.
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Umm, it was--it was rough.
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Because you have to sit there
and not say anything.
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-Right, right, right.
-So you have to listen
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to all these things
being said about you where
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you wanna be like, "No, that's
not true," "No, that's a lie."
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-Oh, okay.
-And you...you know?
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So I only
stormed out, like, twice.
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Oh, that's good.
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So I have to fly
to New York next week.
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Next week already?
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Just for meetings
with the legal team.
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How are the boys doing
with all of this, though?
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Um...it's been hard.
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Sharrieff told me
the other day that...
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[voice breaking]
he walked into Omar's room,
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and Omar was crying.
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He's like, "What's wrong?"
And Omar said,
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"I just don't wanna be
without my mom, Dad."
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[clicks teeth]
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I know--
I know it affects him a lot,
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but he just tries to be
super strong around me.
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It breaks my heart
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knowing that Omar
is worried about me.
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I know... [sniffles]
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how I would feel
if I was wondering
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if my mom would be around.
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Because I rely so much on her.
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You know, if I didn't have
a great, loving husband...
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-Yeah. Yeah.
-...and kids,
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Mom, I wouldn't
still be here on this earth.
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I could not get up every day
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and listen
to all of the negative sh--
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that is thrown at me,
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and people saying
all this stuff,
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people that don't know me.
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They want
to just tear you down
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until you don't
want to live anymore.
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Every single day.
I get bullied every single day,
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and then it's Sharrieff's job
to come home... [sniffles]
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and try to lift me up this much
so that I don't... [sobbing]
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want to ----ing kill myself
and just not be here!
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It's too painful!
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Every day for a year
I've been dealing with this?
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Jen, you know what? Right now
you're...I don't know how to--
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Mom, I just am...
telling you.
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I know. I know.
But you know what?
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I-I don't have answers
for you, other than...
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I need you here.
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We'll get through
all of this together.
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And as much as it might hurt
the boys and everything else,
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just think what it would be like
if you weren't here.
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But, Mom, this--
that's what makes me mad.
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My--no one has--
I haven't done anything.
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And my family
doesn't deserve this.
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You don't deserve it.
[exhales deeply]
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You know what? That's okay.
We're strong people.
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We'll get through this together.
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[exhales deeply]
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[sighs]
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-[sniffles] Thanks, Mom.
-Yeah.
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-Love you.
-Love you.
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***
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[engine roars]
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***
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[dog barks]
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***
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[doorbell rings,
barking intensifies]
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WHITNEY: Rocky. Rocky!
I said stay. Stay.
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-Hello!
-Hi!
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Doing a little dog training.
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-I love it.
-Come on in.
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I was just making you
a charcuterie board.
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Oh, wow. Oh, that looks beaut--
You made this yourself?
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-Uh, yes.
-Really?
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-Yeah.
-Great job.
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-Chardonnay?
-Yeah, that would be great.
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Fabulous. Thank you, honey.
[laughing]
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Screw top.
Makes Mom's job easy.
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Right?
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-Hi.
-WHITNEY: Hi!
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MEREDITH:
Hi, guys. What's going on?
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I made them walk today
'cause it's such a nice day.
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Come give me a hug
and then go wash your hands.
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-Hi, Brooks.
-BROOKS: Can I go--
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Did you wash with soap?
Yeah, go put your stuff away.
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-We're gonna just be--
-Brooks and Brooks need to meet.
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Yes, Brooks, you know Meredith
has a son named Brooks, right?
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[laughs]
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Do you wanna sit outside?
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-Yeah, let's sit outside.
-I can get you a blanket.
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I think
you might need a jacket.
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-Yeah.
-[chuckles]
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In all the years
that I've known Meredith,
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she's never shown any interest
in coming over to my house
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and spending time with me.
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-You wanna sit right here?
-Sure.
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But since her recent
falling out with Lisa,
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it seems she has time for me.
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[barks]
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You can
wrap yourself up in that.
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Oh, thank you. Thank you
so much. This is great.
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Now I'm comfy cozy.
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So what else is going on?
Tell me.
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It's been a little--
a little crazy, right?
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Yeah. I mean, I feel like
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I need to ask you
how you're doing.
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I'm okay, you know?
191
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Did you have fun at the party?
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Yeah. I mean...
it was awkward with Lisa.
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You know? It's just--
there's no, like,
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practice what you
preach with her.
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She's so, just, hypocritical.
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00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,046
And then she's always
telling everyone else
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that they're hypocritical,
and they're wrong,
198
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,424
and they're this,
and they're that.
199
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,886
She has bad-mouthed every
single one of us in our circle.
200
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I don't wanna lose
our liquor license
201
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,766
over somebody's wedding
in their basement
202
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,560
with a stripper pole.
203
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,104
Well, I used to hear stories.
I think she was, like,
204
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:27,067
the one that was, like,
"Honor Code what?"
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She was meeting up with somebody
other than her family.
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----ing piece
of sh-- garbage whore.
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00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:42,374
You say to yourself,
"Whoa, why are you so busy
208
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,502
trying to put everyone else down
in this way
209
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,213
when there are all these rumors
flying about you?"
210
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,758
***
211
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,594
Well, what have you heard?
212
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:58,264
Jen just made reference
to there having been affairs.
213
00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,766
What do youknow?
214
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:06,398
[crunching]
215
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,692
I just heard that she was,
you know, doing favors
216
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,111
to help get places
to pick up Vida Tequila.
217
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,862
I have no idea
if it's true or false.
218
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:16,991
It sounds absurd to me.
219
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,245
I know that sounds absurd,
but it's really not,
220
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:24,666
because I've actually
heard the same thing.
221
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,876
-You have heard that?
-Yes.
222
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:30,422
I have a-a friend, and...
223
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,298
it's a mutual friend of Lisa's,
224
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,010
and he's very wealthy
and very well known in Utah.
225
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:40,015
And I've heard that
she slept with him to sway him
226
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,934
to invest in...her businesses.
227
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:48,023
I don't know, but I feel bad
talking behind her back.
228
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,985
The last thing I want to do
is sit and talk about Lisa
229
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,612
behind her back.
I'm just trying to understand,
230
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,032
like, how did we
even get here?
231
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I don't know, but during my last
healing session with Megan,
232
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:06,332
my energy healer,
I was able to connect...
233
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,709
...to Lisa.
234
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,670
It's still stuck.
What's coming to mind?
235
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,797
Um, actually, it's Lisa.
236
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:16,509
I always see her
as, like, big, mean, nasty.
237
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,678
But I just saw her
as, like, a scared little girl.
238
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,221
-The inner child.
-Yeah.
239
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Wow.
240
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:28,438
When I felt her and saw her,
I realized...
241
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:33,610
that maybe there
is something there that...
242
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,112
is, like,
worth fighting for.
243
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,405
Wow.
244
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,160
I hear you.
I just don't know, um...
245
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,163
At this point,
in my view, like...
246
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,957
why am I bothering?
You know?
247
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:51,044
Yeah. But hear me out.
We have this trip coming up.
248
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,047
I know that Jen,
you know, she needs us.
249
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:57,801
And I am hijacking
all the bulls---.
250
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,344
It really is
gonna be about healing.
251
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:03,181
-[laughs] Okay, for real?
-For reals.
252
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:07,268
We can do this.
We can come together.
253
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,437
Okay.
254
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,730
Coming up...
255
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,565
I used to feel like I was
a safe space for you,
256
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,109
and I'm sorry.
257
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,902
You are not a safe space, Lisa.
258
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:35,088
***
259
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,845
LISA: Ooh. Oh.
Are you kidding me?
260
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,014
Are you kidding me?
261
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:47,684
Yeah, that extra foot you grew
is coming in handy.
262
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,811
You ready
for some competition?
263
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,813
Uh-huh.
264
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,482
Ooh! Yikes. Maybe not.
265
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:59,612
Come on. Try and take it away.
266
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:00,989
Ooh. [laughs]
267
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:03,283
Let me see you do
a little layup.
268
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:06,953
[laughing]
269
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:11,916
How's everything going
with your SATs?
270
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,002
Oh! [laughing]
271
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,838
Very mid-tier.
I have to re-take 'em.
272
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,423
What are you
thinking about with college?
273
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,133
I don't know.
274
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,138
-[rim clatters]
-Ooh.
275
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,223
Like you still wanna go, or no?
276
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,142
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
277
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,895
Like if you don't go
to college, what would you do?
278
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,272
I don't know.
Probably end up richer
279
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,191
than if I went to college.
280
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:40,820
So walk me through this logic.
Whoa.
281
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:43,406
So, like, walk me
through your logic.
282
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,702
Killer company.
283
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,206
So if I just kill it with that,
then I can start other companies
284
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:55,251
and just become successful.
285
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,672
LISA: Jack has always been
a straight-A student.
286
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:02,759
Like, always the leader
in his class, always involved.
287
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,637
And so this whole thing is,
like, surprising me.
288
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,973
I'm, like, why are you
all of a sudden so emphatic
289
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,184
about not going to college?
290
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,978
You know,
the way my dad raised me,
291
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,481
like I graduated
from high school when I was 17.
292
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,526
And my dad was like, "You're on
your own now, basically."
293
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,236
I love that you have
your own business,
294
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,862
but you have your own business
295
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,155
'cause Daddy and I
worked hard, too.
296
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,990
Uh, this is Fresh Wolf.
297
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,200
It's a company
me and my brother started.
298
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,744
Uh, we have
a lot of different products.
299
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:30,620
Shh. [whispers indistinctly]
300
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,913
Like shampoo, conditioner,
301
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,790
pomade, hair wax,
and beard oil.
302
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,834
-I love it.
-That was good.
303
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,254
You know, without those kind of
connections, it kind of sucks.
304
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:43,508
And, like,
you need to think about that.
305
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,678
Like, not many people your age
have what you have.
306
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,057
But it's also because
I went to college, you know?
307
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:56,312
Fudge college, honestly.
There's no need for it.
308
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,234
You know, I don't even know
what's happening right now.
309
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,278
I don't know
if I pushed Jack to this point
310
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,363
because I was
raised so independently.
311
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,116
I'm one of six kids,
and I had to be grown-up.
312
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:12,078
And I think with that,
I have a very...
313
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,914
high set
of expectations on myself.
314
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:19,753
And I think I've naturally just
imparted those on my children.
315
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,629
Listen, this is
supposed to be conversational.
316
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,964
You're taking it like--
317
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:26,259
I'm just telling you
my experience. Just listen.
318
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,679
College is where they go
to build machines, not humans.
319
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:33,099
You know, it's, like,
oh, my gosh, did I create this?
320
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:36,269
-Okay. Take a break for a sec.
-No.
321
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:39,564
-Talk. I'm all ears.
-No, it just hurt my feelings--
322
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,317
I'm trying to, like, understand
where you're coming from.
323
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,152
It's like--seems like
you're giving attitude,
324
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:46,696
like, "I know everything,
I understand everything."
325
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,948
You don't. You have me
and Dad supporting you.
326
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,825
Like, when you can
get to a point
327
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,453
where you're funding your
own business all by yourself,
328
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,288
and I don't
have to invest any money,
329
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,207
and your dad doesn't
have to invest any money,
330
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,959
then you can be like,
"I got this. I'm amazing."
331
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,171
You can't do that now.
That's not how it works, Jack.
332
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:06,174
Okay.
Well, I'm going inside.
333
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:19,979
***
334
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,856
-WHITNEY: Justin.
-JUSTIN: Yeah?
335
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,191
WHITNEY: Come here.
336
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,486
What's up?
337
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,446
I'm gonna fill up your glass.
338
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,119
What's going on?
339
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,662
Are you okay?
340
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,163
No.
341
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,459
I just got
off the phone with Will.
342
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,299
[bottle clatters]
343
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,720
-I need to talk to you.
-What's up? Are you okay?
344
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,645
[sniffles]
345
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,108
[sniffles]
346
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,484
Uh-oh.
347
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,781
Babe, what's going on?
348
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,700
[sniffles]
349
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,372
I'm sorry. I just don't know
where to start.
350
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,374
-It's so much.
-So, just tell me.
351
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,168
Start from what--
Like, what happened?
352
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,503
Like, what--
What did he say to you?
353
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,798
I was just trying
to, like, plan something
354
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,009
to get together with him and...
[sniffles]
355
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:34,220
And...
356
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,514
I just told him
how I've been doing,
357
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,684
like, all this therapy
and healing work,
358
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:43,646
and he shared with me
that he was doing EDMR.
359
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,440
What's EDMR?
360
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,526
It's, like, a form of,
like, memory recall
361
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:53,073
based on
hand-eye coordination.
362
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,783
[sighs]
363
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,620
Like, you know how I always,
like, tell you that I...
364
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:06,378
[sniffles] I don't remember
details of my childhood?
365
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,589
-[sniffles]
-Yeah.
366
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,802
[voice breaking] Will told me...
[sobbing]
367
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:20,058
...that he...like, through
his EDMR therapy, remembers...
368
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,227
[sobbing]
369
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:27,232
...that I was actually abused
and I just don't remember it.
370
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,609
Oh, my gosh.
371
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:30,735
[sniffles]
372
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,865
A lot of my childhood
I have blocked out,
373
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:39,452
and as I've been
on this healing journey...
374
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,247
I have relied
on other family members
375
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,208
to help fill in the pieces.
376
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:49,504
Because as much healing that
I do, there are certain things
377
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,841
that you cannot remove
from a child's brain.
378
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,429
[sobbing]
379
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,764
All of those memories
that I have suppressed
380
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,558
are all
flowing through me now.
381
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,352
And there's just so much pain.
382
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:07,731
I'm just feeling
so much pain and so much anger.
383
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:12,485
And it just feels
very overwhelming...
384
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,863
to take
this all on right now.
385
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:22,579
[voice breaking] And so...
I don't even know if I, like,
386
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:28,251
am comfortable saying it,
but...
387
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,628
But when--when...
388
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,841
when Megan came to our house...
-Uh-huh.
389
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:39,012
And we--we saged the house,
every bathroom she went in,
390
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:42,640
she was like, "There's so many
demons in your bathrooms.
391
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,852
I don't know what it is about
with you and bathrooms," like...
392
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:51,733
Did Will say something that
gave you some clarity on that?
393
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:58,865
So ----ed up.
It's so ----ed up.
394
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:02,535
'Cause I'm still so scared...
[sniffles]
395
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:06,790
...to say what I know
and what I remember.
396
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,208
Babe, I'm so sorry.
397
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,585
[sniffles]
398
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,213
This is so ----ed up.
399
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:17,842
Like...like,
but do you still love me?
400
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,844
Of course I do, babe.
401
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,680
[sniffles]
402
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,264
-Of course.
-[Whitney sniffles]
403
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:28,561
***
404
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:32,357
As--As much as I
often question if I--
405
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,401
if it would be easier
to not know
406
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,986
and un-see it
and un-remember it...
407
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:41,741
I don't think so.
Like, I think that... [sniffles]
408
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:44,035
I think that
you have to allow yourself
409
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:48,248
to go through it
and acknowledge it... [sniffles]
410
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:52,210
and survive it.
411
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:56,423
There is
a trauma hidden deep...
412
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,759
deep inside of me,
and I know that.
413
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:04,222
I know you're obvious--obviously
able to block out things
414
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,892
that were hurtful to you.
415
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,270
And I know that's a big reason
why you're going through
416
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:16,026
what you're
going through right now.
417
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,862
But you definitely
can't take that on yourself.
418
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:24,909
***
419
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:37,005
***
420
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:45,722
Can you go grab me that stuff
over there and hand it to me?
421
00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:49,517
I mean that--
All of that I'm packing.
422
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:53,146
-What is this?
-[laughter]
423
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:56,524
Listen, Jen said
she wanted a lingerie party.
424
00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,902
I do not want to let Jen down,
ever.
425
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:01,071
-GEORGIA: It's true.
-ANNABELLE: Yeah, exactly.
426
00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:09,871
***
427
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,831
These are--
428
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:13,833
What are you doing?
What is that even for?
429
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:15,543
We're going to plan
a little party.
430
00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:17,128
It's gonna be called
431
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,880
the Garbage Trash Whore
Lingerie Party.
432
00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:21,257
-That's the theme?
-Yes.
433
00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:22,842
Please don't. That's not good.
434
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:26,054
I'll just say GTW.
[chants] GTW.
435
00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:34,771
***
436
00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:37,524
Are you sure you should be
going on this trip?
437
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:40,151
Yeah, I mean,
it's not the best timing,
438
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:43,405
but--but for me, what's
really calling me to Arizona,
439
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:46,825
is, like,
me just trying to...
440
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,785
heal and connect with my family
441
00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:51,621
and move on
from all of this past trauma.
442
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,415
After I got
the phone call from Will,
443
00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:56,042
I called
my other half brother, Curtis.
444
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:58,628
And I told him I was
supposed to be coming to Arizona
445
00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:00,422
on a girls trip,
but I didn't know
446
00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:03,466
if I was strong enough to go.
But he said, "No, come,
447
00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:05,677
and you need to see
me and your sister.
448
00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:07,637
We got you.
We're going to be here for you.
449
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,014
We'll help you
get through this."
450
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,641
It feels right,
and it feels good
451
00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:14,602
to be, like,
connecting with them.
452
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:28,992
***
453
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:32,620
-Lisa!
-Are you ready? [laughs]
454
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:34,414
How many bags do you have?
455
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,458
-I have too many.
-Oh, you do.
456
00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,918
***
457
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,837
LISA: Okay, we got to go.
We're going to miss our flight.
458
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,632
-Hey. Are you good?
-Yeah, we're good.
459
00:23:44,674 --> 00:23:47,260
I just have to go backwards.
460
00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:50,180
WHITNEY: I invited Lisa
to fly ahead with me,
461
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:52,390
because the thought
of the five of us
462
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:53,808
flying together right now,
463
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,894
I think I'd have
a full-on panic attack,
464
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:59,481
just trying to make sure
that no one got in a fight,
465
00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:01,316
specifically Lisa and Meredith.
466
00:24:01,358 --> 00:24:03,485
[jet roars]
467
00:24:03,526 --> 00:24:08,490
***
468
00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:10,658
You can go in first.
469
00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:12,911
Thank you, sir.
470
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,496
Well, I think the other girls,
471
00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:15,997
their flight gets in
in a little bit.
472
00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:17,707
-LISA: Oh, really?
-Yeah.
473
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,459
-Okay.
-They're not too far behind us.
474
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:22,295
HEATHER:
Do you guys know our gate?
475
00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:23,755
-Oh, there we go.
-JEN: Oh!
476
00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:25,674
MEREDITH: Are we excited?
477
00:24:25,715 --> 00:24:28,426
HEATHER:
I love Arizona in the winter.
478
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,719
[laughs]
479
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,808
It's the redheaded stepchild
of Utah.
480
00:24:34,849 --> 00:24:37,811
It's just Utah, warmer,
and with more white people,
481
00:24:37,852 --> 00:24:40,146
if that's even
humanly possible.
482
00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:42,524
I wouldn't mind
St. Tropez or Bali
483
00:24:42,565 --> 00:24:45,193
or the Maldives,
something like that.
484
00:24:45,235 --> 00:24:48,530
Well, I don't think
Jen can leave the country.
485
00:24:48,571 --> 00:24:50,990
USA all the way! Yes!
486
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,075
***
487
00:24:52,117 --> 00:24:55,203
HEATHER:
Utah Part two. [chuckles]
488
00:24:55,245 --> 00:25:02,043
***
489
00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:04,004
-Oh, we're here.
-Oh, my gosh.
490
00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:06,798
-WHITNEY: Look at the gate.
-LISA: Ooh, I like the entry.
491
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,341
-LISA: This is so pretty.
-WHITNEY: Oh, they have
492
00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:11,636
cocktails waiting for us.
That's amazing.
493
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:15,557
-WHITNEY: Hello.
-LISA: Hi!
494
00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:16,891
[speaks indistinctly]
495
00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,727
-I love it.
-So happy to be here.
496
00:25:18,768 --> 00:25:19,936
-I know.
-Hi. I'm Becca!
497
00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:20,979
-Becca, I'm Whitney.
-WHITNEY: Hi, Becca.
498
00:25:21,021 --> 00:25:22,022
-Hi, Whitney.
-Hi! Lisa.
499
00:25:22,063 --> 00:25:24,065
-Lisa?
-So nice to meet you.
500
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:27,318
Ooh, I would love one.
Thank you.
501
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,903
-Cheers.
-Yay!
502
00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,363
-Are you ready to see the house?
-Yes.
503
00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:31,489
Yes!
504
00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,450
***
505
00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:36,619
-Oh, wow.
-So pretty.
506
00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:39,122
WHITNEY: Is this
one of Mary's rentals?
507
00:25:39,164 --> 00:25:40,415
[laughter]
508
00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:42,083
Walking into this house,
509
00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:46,004
I feel like we've stepped foot
into Mary Cosby's grand foyer.
510
00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:48,757
[lively classical music playing]
511
00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:51,384
It's almost like
Mary is still with us.
512
00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:53,053
[voice echoes] Women...
513
00:25:53,094 --> 00:25:55,847
***
514
00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:59,351
LISA: Okay.
Oh, is that all by itself?
515
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:01,353
-It is.
-Oh. Oh!
516
00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:04,773
-WHITNEY: Wow.
-LISA: Just like "Dynasty."
517
00:26:04,814 --> 00:26:06,483
It literally looks
like Barbie's dream house...
518
00:26:06,524 --> 00:26:08,943
circa 1984.
519
00:26:08,985 --> 00:26:11,112
The house
is massively outdated,
520
00:26:11,154 --> 00:26:14,115
but I do think
it's a good party house.
521
00:26:14,157 --> 00:26:15,617
So the rest
of the house is that way.
522
00:26:15,658 --> 00:26:17,285
I'm gonna
let you guys enjoy it.
523
00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:18,453
Thank you!
524
00:26:18,495 --> 00:26:21,247
WHITNEY: This makes me
kind of miss Mary.
525
00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:24,292
[laughter]
526
00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:25,293
Coming up...
527
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:26,670
I love you both,
528
00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:28,129
and maybe it's at the point now
where there can be
529
00:26:28,171 --> 00:26:30,715
a conversation,
and she can hear you.
530
00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:32,509
Have you
talked to her about it?
531
00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:34,636
This is
you and Meredith's fight.
532
00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:41,518
***
533
00:26:44,187 --> 00:26:45,772
WHITNEY: I'm going to get
my swimsuit on.
534
00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:47,649
We need some sun.
535
00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:49,693
LISA: We never get to spend
one-on-one time together.
536
00:26:49,734 --> 00:26:51,361
It's been nice.
537
00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:55,031
***
538
00:26:55,073 --> 00:26:56,866
WHITNEY: Cheers, Lisa.
539
00:26:57,909 --> 00:27:00,120
Oh, my gosh. [laughs]
540
00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:02,497
I dare you to drink from that.
Drink from it.
541
00:27:02,539 --> 00:27:03,998
[laughs]
542
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,210
Here, let's cheers.
543
00:27:07,252 --> 00:27:09,713
[laughing]
544
00:27:09,754 --> 00:27:10,880
[laughs]
545
00:27:10,922 --> 00:27:12,465
You're the good time girl.
546
00:27:12,507 --> 00:27:14,759
Sorry, Heather.
You've been replaced.
547
00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:16,553
[laughs]
548
00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:19,389
Well, thanks for inviting me
to come in early with you.
549
00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:22,058
Yeah, thanks for coming.
550
00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:24,144
I think it's been good.
Like, I feel like I'm getting
551
00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:26,187
to understand you better,
and I love that.
552
00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:28,148
Well, and it helps me, too,
553
00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:30,191
'cause I started this,
like, path of healing.
554
00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:33,820
I'll share with you. I, like--
I don't remember my childhood.
555
00:27:33,862 --> 00:27:35,405
-You blocked it out?
-I blocked it out.
556
00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:42,078
And it goes--
it goes pretty deep.
557
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,040
I started
doing this energy work,
558
00:27:45,081 --> 00:27:48,877
and, like, I'm just starting
to have memories.
559
00:27:50,545 --> 00:27:54,799
I'm gonna be honest, it's, like,
really hard for me...
560
00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:56,843
to talk about it right now.
561
00:27:56,885 --> 00:27:59,637
But it's just...Sorry.
562
00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:01,848
It's okay.
563
00:28:01,890 --> 00:28:05,602
My trauma is pretty
intense for me right now,
564
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:09,272
and is just so much to process
and so much to take in.
565
00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,274
And right now,
I'm just not feeling
566
00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:13,943
like it's something
I'm comfortable sharing.
567
00:28:13,985 --> 00:28:15,487
When you say
you block out things,
568
00:28:15,528 --> 00:28:17,238
like, I don't
necessarily block out things,
569
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,115
but I remember things
where I'm like,
570
00:28:19,157 --> 00:28:20,992
"That was stressful for me."
571
00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:23,953
My sister and I were talking
so much about, like,
572
00:28:23,995 --> 00:28:25,705
childhood traumas.
573
00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:29,542
My parents were little kids
raising little kids.
574
00:28:29,584 --> 00:28:32,128
I'm the middle child,
but I assumed
575
00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:34,297
everything
for all of my sisters.
576
00:28:34,339 --> 00:28:36,549
I, like,
was the one to do, like,
577
00:28:36,591 --> 00:28:38,009
even my little sister's hair,
578
00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:38,968
like, every morning
before school.
579
00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:41,429
Like, my parents both worked.
580
00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:44,182
And, like, I got three
younger kids ready for school.
581
00:28:44,224 --> 00:28:46,142
I've been an adult
my whole life.
582
00:28:46,184 --> 00:28:49,979
You know, when I
started college, my dad was 39.
583
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:52,482
He had
two other kids in college,
584
00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:55,318
had already funded
two missions,
585
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,696
and had three
younger kids still in school.
586
00:28:57,737 --> 00:28:59,572
We just knew
what we had to do
587
00:28:59,614 --> 00:29:02,283
to support our parents.
Like, we just knew.
588
00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:04,411
So we started
to lean on each other.
589
00:29:04,452 --> 00:29:07,163
And when anything
goes wrong for any of us,
590
00:29:07,205 --> 00:29:08,498
we are there for each other.
591
00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:11,626
And, like, I'm very close
with all of my siblings.
592
00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:13,837
And so for me, like,
like, you know, when I say,
593
00:29:13,878 --> 00:29:15,296
like, "Oh, I love you
like my sister,"
594
00:29:15,338 --> 00:29:17,465
that's a big deal to me.
-Yeah.
595
00:29:17,507 --> 00:29:20,176
Because I'm so used
to having girls around me,
596
00:29:20,218 --> 00:29:22,679
but not everybody
loves me the same way back,
597
00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:24,180
and I'm realizing that.
598
00:29:24,222 --> 00:29:27,517
Like, for example,
like, I feel, like,
599
00:29:27,559 --> 00:29:31,021
even with Meredith,
I was definitely more invested
600
00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:33,773
and in love with the idea
of being, like,
601
00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:37,694
Meredith's best friend,
like her sister and it's...
602
00:29:37,736 --> 00:29:40,655
It wasn't--it wasn't
what I thought it was.
603
00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:43,033
I was a great friend
of Meredith for 10 years.
604
00:29:43,074 --> 00:29:45,285
And it was, like, my one mistake
605
00:29:45,326 --> 00:29:47,454
made her feel like,
"You're a horrible person.
606
00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,330
You haven't been my friend
for 10 years."
607
00:29:49,372 --> 00:29:50,749
And, like, that's bullsh--.
608
00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:52,709
That is bullsh--.
609
00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:54,419
I-I love you both.
610
00:29:54,461 --> 00:29:56,880
And I-I think
that you both share
611
00:29:56,921 --> 00:29:59,758
very similar feelings on it
612
00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:02,385
for different reasons
and different causes.
613
00:30:02,427 --> 00:30:04,262
And maybe it's at the point now
where there can be
614
00:30:04,304 --> 00:30:06,139
a conversation
and she can hear you.
615
00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:08,058
Have you talked to her about it?
616
00:30:08,099 --> 00:30:11,394
***
617
00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:14,731
Yes.
618
00:30:14,773 --> 00:30:26,034
***
619
00:30:26,076 --> 00:30:27,744
MEREDITH: Thank you.
620
00:30:27,786 --> 00:30:31,331
Zack the snack. Thank you.
621
00:30:31,373 --> 00:30:33,625
You guys, this is awesome!
622
00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:37,212
Look at the view.
623
00:30:37,253 --> 00:30:39,255
And how did you feel
based on your conversation?
624
00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:42,425
I think that this is you and
Meredith's fight and battle.
625
00:30:42,467 --> 00:30:43,802
-Yeah, but how did you--
-I don't want to get--
626
00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:45,470
How I feel? I feel like...
627
00:30:46,930 --> 00:30:48,264
Mm-hmm.
628
00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:49,891
-Okay.
-Wow.
629
00:30:49,933 --> 00:30:52,143
-Yeah.
-Whitney Rose did this.
630
00:30:52,185 --> 00:30:54,187
[laughs]
Whitney Rose done right.
631
00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:55,855
Yeah, this is what I call
a girls trip, okay?
632
00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:57,649
Look at them out by the pool.
633
00:30:57,691 --> 00:31:02,737
I've forgiven myself,
and I can't control what she--
634
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:05,615
if she forgives me,
but I do know, like,
635
00:31:05,657 --> 00:31:07,283
if there's a path
for resolution, like,
636
00:31:07,325 --> 00:31:10,328
I'll be on it with her
if she wants that.
637
00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:13,289
But she has to want that.
It's not up to me at this point.
638
00:31:13,331 --> 00:31:15,458
But I can't
wallow in self-hatred,
639
00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:17,794
and I'm not gonna
slit my wrists for anybody
640
00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:19,295
at this stage in my life.
641
00:31:19,337 --> 00:31:22,007
Like, I said sorry four times.
If they can't forgive me,
642
00:31:22,048 --> 00:31:24,175
there's nothing
I can do about it.
643
00:31:26,302 --> 00:31:27,637
-Um...
-What's up?!
644
00:31:27,679 --> 00:31:29,222
[all cheering]
645
00:31:29,264 --> 00:31:32,517
-What is this?
-Fire in the hole.
646
00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:35,645
Meredith has been just picking
flowers the whole afternoon.
647
00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:37,605
You brought me
a bouquet of flowers.
648
00:31:37,647 --> 00:31:38,857
-A cock?
-Sangria.
649
00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:42,986
Sangria, and a half-drank
bottle of Fireball.
650
00:31:43,028 --> 00:31:44,946
I did not drink the Fireball.
651
00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:46,656
This is Meredith's.
652
00:31:46,698 --> 00:31:49,868
I missed you! [laughing]
653
00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:53,663
***
654
00:31:53,705 --> 00:31:54,748
Coming up...
655
00:31:54,789 --> 00:31:57,000
I don't want
to be put in the middle
656
00:31:57,042 --> 00:31:58,835
of Meredith and Lisa's fight.
657
00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:00,920
Meredith has talked to you
about rumors about Lisa?
658
00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:02,380
Mm-hmm.
659
00:32:09,304 --> 00:32:11,890
***
660
00:32:16,436 --> 00:32:18,563
-What's up?!
-[cheering]
661
00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:23,318
-We brought you champagne and...
-This is so nice!
662
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,111
...a half-drank
bottle of Fireball.
663
00:32:25,153 --> 00:32:26,946
I did not drink the Fireball.
664
00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:28,448
HEATHER:
This is Meredith's.
665
00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:31,284
I do wear glasses.
I don't have 'em on right now.
666
00:32:31,326 --> 00:32:33,328
But I can definitely see
667
00:32:33,370 --> 00:32:35,455
that Meredith
does not want to talk to me,
668
00:32:35,497 --> 00:32:38,833
and I don't want
to push myself on her.
669
00:32:38,875 --> 00:32:41,920
I missed you! [laughing]
670
00:32:41,961 --> 00:32:45,715
It's definitely very awkward
between Lisa and Meredith.
671
00:32:45,757 --> 00:32:47,258
I didn't
expect them to have, like,
672
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:48,885
a warm welcome with each other,
673
00:32:48,927 --> 00:32:51,805
but I expected something,
like at least a hello.
674
00:32:51,846 --> 00:32:53,515
It's okay. It's fine.
675
00:32:56,184 --> 00:32:57,977
No.
676
00:32:58,019 --> 00:32:59,896
HEATHER: We looked for Kit Kats
for you and Sugar Babies.
677
00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:01,564
All I could find were
Hot Tamales and Milk Duds.
678
00:33:01,606 --> 00:33:03,274
-They were out?
-But they were out.
679
00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:04,943
LISA: What do you mean,
they're out?
680
00:33:04,984 --> 00:33:07,237
-Wow!
-Oh, my gosh!
681
00:33:07,278 --> 00:33:10,281
We haven't seen the kitchen!
This is awesome!
682
00:33:10,323 --> 00:33:11,741
Yeah,
so I'll give you the rundown.
683
00:33:11,783 --> 00:33:13,493
We have a shaman coming,
684
00:33:13,535 --> 00:33:16,413
and she recommended
not drinking.
685
00:33:16,454 --> 00:33:18,707
-Yeah.
-Did you explain to her
686
00:33:18,748 --> 00:33:20,542
a little bit
about our background?
687
00:33:20,583 --> 00:33:22,460
Listen.
This is my third attempt
688
00:33:22,502 --> 00:33:25,839
at doing some sort of healing
for--for all of you.
689
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,674
If this one doesn't work,
I'm retiring.
690
00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:31,594
WOMAN: Who doesn't trust Jen?
Raise your hand.
691
00:33:31,636 --> 00:33:33,096
Okay.
692
00:33:33,138 --> 00:33:37,058
Hey, we have to go.
693
00:33:37,100 --> 00:33:40,645
Like, I-I went out of my way
to put this together and...
694
00:33:40,687 --> 00:33:43,440
but we don't have light.
We only have sunlight.
695
00:33:43,481 --> 00:33:47,485
Thank you for, like, indulging
me on my journey to heal.
696
00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:51,531
And I know that Jen
needs us now more than ever.
697
00:33:51,573 --> 00:33:54,367
I just wanted
a girls trip getaway for Jen
698
00:33:54,409 --> 00:33:56,870
to come together
and to spend time
699
00:33:56,911 --> 00:33:59,164
and just show you
our love and support for you.
700
00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:01,332
[voice breaking]
I wasn't expecting this.
701
00:34:01,374 --> 00:34:03,001
[whispers] Got you.
702
00:34:03,043 --> 00:34:08,631
And I really need it now
more than ever, so thank you.
703
00:34:08,673 --> 00:34:12,135
It's times like these
that you really see
704
00:34:12,177 --> 00:34:13,678
who shows up for you.
705
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:17,265
[sniffles] It means a lot.
Thank you, you guys.
706
00:34:17,307 --> 00:34:19,934
These four women--
they've shown up for me,
707
00:34:19,976 --> 00:34:24,022
and I'm very, very grateful.
708
00:34:24,064 --> 00:34:26,358
This is a beautiful home.
I'm thrilled to be here.
709
00:34:26,399 --> 00:34:27,484
I'm thrilled to be here
with all of you.
710
00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:28,985
-Yeah.
-I'm glad everybody came.
711
00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:31,654
-MEREDITH: Thank you, Whitney.
-Thank you so much.
712
00:34:31,696 --> 00:34:35,158
But with that said,
I pre-selected the rooms.
713
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,578
I just wanted to avoid the
headache and all of the drama.
714
00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:41,956
We'll just set it up
as you, me, Heather.
715
00:34:41,998 --> 00:34:44,000
-Heather, Mer?
-Heather, Mer, and Jen.
716
00:34:44,042 --> 00:34:46,461
There's only two things that
I need to make sure happen.
717
00:34:46,503 --> 00:34:47,879
Meredith's on one end
of the house,
718
00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:49,589
and Lisa's
on the other end of the house.
719
00:34:49,631 --> 00:34:54,052
We decided
to give you the master.
720
00:34:54,094 --> 00:34:57,472
Oh, my gosh. [squealing]
721
00:34:57,514 --> 00:35:00,850
HEATHER: She keeps getting
the best room every time!
722
00:35:00,892 --> 00:35:02,727
Ever since the arrest,
all I know
723
00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:04,688
is I keep getting
the master bedroom.
724
00:35:04,729 --> 00:35:07,357
Wait till you see the bathroom.
We're all gonna be getting ready
725
00:35:07,399 --> 00:35:08,608
in here, high school style.
-Oh, what?
726
00:35:08,650 --> 00:35:10,902
-Are you ready?
-You guys...
727
00:35:10,944 --> 00:35:12,737
No, this is literally
Barbie dream shower.
728
00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:16,074
I mean, maybe this is one area
that's working out for me.
729
00:35:16,116 --> 00:35:17,951
Heather Gay, this is your room.
730
00:35:17,992 --> 00:35:19,411
Your gift is there.
731
00:35:19,452 --> 00:35:21,246
-Aw.
-HEATHER: Can I open it?
732
00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:23,081
-Bring it to Meredith's room.
-Okay.
733
00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:24,457
I hate--I never get presents.
734
00:35:24,499 --> 00:35:26,710
And yours is
indoor/outdoor concept.
735
00:35:26,751 --> 00:35:28,169
-You have a patio.
-MEREDITH: I love it.
736
00:35:28,211 --> 00:35:29,337
HEATHER:
So can we open my gift?
737
00:35:29,379 --> 00:35:30,588
Yeah, open it.
738
00:35:30,630 --> 00:35:32,340
-Oh!
-What?!
739
00:35:32,382 --> 00:35:33,466
LISA: What is it?
740
00:35:33,508 --> 00:35:36,636
"Be you, stay wild."
I love this!
741
00:35:36,678 --> 00:35:38,596
-These are so cute, Whitney.
-Yeah, matching pajamas
742
00:35:38,638 --> 00:35:40,265
with your little initials
and some slippers.
743
00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:42,225
-How cute.
-Look at that! I love it.
744
00:35:42,267 --> 00:35:44,019
Unpack. Get dressed.
745
00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:47,355
You can wear, like,
a Boho chic dress, flowy dress.
746
00:35:47,397 --> 00:35:49,024
Just something
you can sit comfortably in.
747
00:35:49,065 --> 00:35:52,110
Can I wear an oversize
man's T-shirt and bobby socks?
748
00:35:52,152 --> 00:35:53,653
-Sure. Sure.
-Okay. Let's go.
749
00:35:53,695 --> 00:35:55,405
-Yes.
-[laughing]
750
00:35:55,447 --> 00:36:05,915
***
751
00:36:05,957 --> 00:36:08,668
The energy when I walked in
was weird,
752
00:36:08,710 --> 00:36:11,046
and I was surprised
by Jen's reaction.
753
00:36:11,087 --> 00:36:12,505
She got really emotional
754
00:36:12,547 --> 00:36:14,132
when you said
what the trip was for.
755
00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:16,676
Well, I mean it. I really hope
that we can all, like,
756
00:36:16,718 --> 00:36:18,345
come together for her now.
-Yeah.
757
00:36:18,386 --> 00:36:20,930
What is Lisa's expectations?
758
00:36:20,972 --> 00:36:22,515
Was she nervous
about seeing Meredith?
759
00:36:22,557 --> 00:36:24,517
She's not nervous, no.
760
00:36:24,559 --> 00:36:26,728
She should be nervous.
Why is she not nervous?
761
00:36:26,770 --> 00:36:28,730
WHITNEY: Well,
she's being really vulnerable,
762
00:36:28,772 --> 00:36:30,982
and that's, I think,
a good space to start.
763
00:36:31,024 --> 00:36:32,233
HEATHER: No, for sure.
764
00:36:32,275 --> 00:36:35,362
I just feel, like, icky,
'cause...
765
00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:37,614
I don't want
to be put in the middle
766
00:36:37,655 --> 00:36:40,158
of Meredith and Lisa's fight.
767
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,620
You have Meredith,
who's coming to me with rumors.
768
00:36:43,661 --> 00:36:45,789
Meredith has talked to you
about rumors about Lisa?
769
00:36:45,830 --> 00:36:46,998
Mm-hmm.
770
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,375
I'm trying not to smile.
771
00:36:48,416 --> 00:36:49,876
[laughter]
772
00:36:49,918 --> 00:36:51,753
Why does that make you
wanna smile? You didn't know?
773
00:36:51,795 --> 00:36:55,507
Because I can't believe
that Meredith would ever...
774
00:36:55,548 --> 00:36:57,050
Has she not shared
anything with you?
775
00:36:57,092 --> 00:36:58,385
HEATHER: Nothing.
776
00:36:58,426 --> 00:37:00,553
Oh, she fully came over
to my house
777
00:37:00,595 --> 00:37:03,640
and brought up rumors
about Lisa having--
778
00:37:03,682 --> 00:37:06,810
-About what?
-Um, like, affairs.
779
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,980
She only alluded
to affairs and then--
780
00:37:11,022 --> 00:37:12,941
-Multiple?
-Yeah, but what Meredith
781
00:37:12,982 --> 00:37:16,111
has heard,
out of Meredith's own mouth,
782
00:37:16,152 --> 00:37:19,030
that Lisa has performed
sexual favors
783
00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:20,573
for the advancement...
-[snickers]
784
00:37:21,783 --> 00:37:23,702
-Vida Tequila?
-Yeah.
785
00:37:23,743 --> 00:37:25,662
So that people
would take it, but...
786
00:37:25,704 --> 00:37:27,831
-Stop, stop, stop, stop.
-I know. I know.
787
00:37:27,872 --> 00:37:29,708
And then she'd be like,
"Isn't that absurd?"
788
00:37:29,749 --> 00:37:33,378
Who--who was she servicing?
Vendors?
789
00:37:33,420 --> 00:37:36,214
Bartenders? Bar owners?
790
00:37:36,256 --> 00:37:37,632
I know it sounds absurd,
Heather.
791
00:37:37,674 --> 00:37:39,884
-State liquor store officials?
-However...
792
00:37:39,926 --> 00:37:43,430
Listen, my point now is
now that I've heard Lisa out,
793
00:37:43,471 --> 00:37:46,141
and I feel like
I've gotten to know her,
794
00:37:46,182 --> 00:37:49,185
I feel bad, 'cause I fully,
like, participated.
795
00:37:49,227 --> 00:37:52,022
Because I've heard
the same rumors about her, too.
796
00:37:52,063 --> 00:37:54,733
Part of me just wanted to, like,
give her a heads up
797
00:37:54,774 --> 00:37:57,527
or, like, ask her about it.
I don't know.
798
00:37:57,569 --> 00:38:00,071
I don't know what to do.
Like, what do you do?
799
00:38:00,113 --> 00:38:03,074
Need I remind you that
we are on a girls trip for Jen?
800
00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:05,535
And this is not the time
to give Lisa
801
00:38:05,577 --> 00:38:07,454
a heads up
about horrible rumors
802
00:38:07,495 --> 00:38:09,247
that Whitney may have heard.
803
00:38:09,289 --> 00:38:12,250
Hell, no. Don't say a word.
804
00:38:12,292 --> 00:38:15,920
I think our goal should be
just to celebrate Jen,
805
00:38:15,962 --> 00:38:18,089
and we'll
deal with that after this.
806
00:38:18,131 --> 00:38:20,592
***
807
00:38:20,633 --> 00:38:22,177
Coming up...
808
00:38:22,218 --> 00:38:25,638
***
809
00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:48,203
***
810
00:38:52,874 --> 00:38:54,292
-Hi.
-WHITNEY: Kisses and hugs.
811
00:38:54,334 --> 00:38:56,086
Nice to meet you in person.
812
00:38:56,127 --> 00:38:58,880
You look beautiful.
And with the slippers? [laughs]
813
00:38:58,922 --> 00:39:01,758
I'm really excited
to meet with the shaman
814
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,719
because I feel like
now more than ever,
815
00:39:04,761 --> 00:39:07,972
I need to release this pain
and this heaviness.
816
00:39:08,014 --> 00:39:10,725
And who better to do it with
817
00:39:10,767 --> 00:39:13,645
than this group of girls
who are equally as ----ed up?
818
00:39:13,687 --> 00:39:14,938
Let's heal.
819
00:39:14,979 --> 00:39:16,564
So you wanna go ahead and start?
820
00:39:16,606 --> 00:39:18,149
-We have one more.
-One more.
821
00:39:18,191 --> 00:39:20,527
-Una más.
-WHITNEY: I want to get going.
822
00:39:20,568 --> 00:39:22,237
-Okay, let's go.
-No, let's start.
823
00:39:22,278 --> 00:39:23,863
I'm saying,
she'll join when she can.
824
00:39:23,905 --> 00:39:25,990
Meredith is late once again
825
00:39:26,032 --> 00:39:27,742
to one
of my healing ceremonies.
826
00:39:27,784 --> 00:39:29,786
But this time,
I'm starting without her.
827
00:39:29,828 --> 00:39:31,705
And there's a saying
amongst healers
828
00:39:31,746 --> 00:39:33,248
and the universe--
829
00:39:33,289 --> 00:39:36,292
"Those who need the most healing
avoid healing."
830
00:39:36,334 --> 00:39:37,419
***
831
00:39:37,460 --> 00:39:38,920
[cellphone rings]
832
00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:41,715
-[cellphone chimes]
-Hi, honey. How are you?
833
00:39:41,756 --> 00:39:44,843
-Hey. Good. How are you?
-I'm good.
834
00:39:44,884 --> 00:39:48,013
Have you seen Lisa yet?
835
00:39:48,054 --> 00:39:52,559
Well, I'm in a house with four
other people, so, um, yeah.
836
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,103
Have you gone over
where all the exit doors are?
837
00:39:57,772 --> 00:39:59,816
What's on the docket?
838
00:39:59,858 --> 00:40:02,193
We have a shaman coming.
I'm not sure if that's, like,
839
00:40:02,235 --> 00:40:04,904
the right thing for me
right now.
840
00:40:04,946 --> 00:40:06,823
I've worked
with a shaman before,
841
00:40:06,865 --> 00:40:09,534
and it was
an incredible experience,
842
00:40:09,576 --> 00:40:11,453
but really intense.
843
00:40:11,494 --> 00:40:14,289
And my current dynamic
with Lisa
844
00:40:14,330 --> 00:40:17,417
definitely plays
a big part in my hesitation
845
00:40:17,459 --> 00:40:19,294
to run outside.
846
00:40:19,336 --> 00:40:21,296
You know,
you're opening your energy,
847
00:40:21,338 --> 00:40:23,840
and she's shown me
that she's someone
848
00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:26,593
I should be
protecting my energy from.
849
00:40:26,634 --> 00:40:30,221
All right, ladies,
I am so excited
850
00:40:30,263 --> 00:40:32,140
to be guiding you
in the ceremony tonight.
851
00:40:32,182 --> 00:40:37,854
I'm going to come around
and pass out the cacao elixir.
852
00:40:37,896 --> 00:40:41,066
Cacao is a deep
heart opening medicine.
853
00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:47,530
I thought
it would taste different.
854
00:40:47,572 --> 00:40:49,282
-[laughter]
-[coughs]
855
00:40:49,324 --> 00:40:50,867
WHITNEY: It's not hot cocoa.
[laughs]
856
00:40:50,909 --> 00:40:53,536
I would like to release
the flavor in my mouth.
857
00:40:53,578 --> 00:40:54,621
[laughter]
858
00:40:54,662 --> 00:40:56,206
Is it weird that I like it?
859
00:40:56,247 --> 00:40:57,499
Yes.
860
00:40:57,540 --> 00:40:59,751
I love chocolate,
so why wouldn't I love cacao?
861
00:40:59,793 --> 00:41:01,127
It's earthy.
862
00:41:01,169 --> 00:41:02,462
I'm boring. I've never
done a drug in my life.
863
00:41:02,504 --> 00:41:05,006
I've never even smoked weed.
I barely take Advil.
864
00:41:05,048 --> 00:41:07,759
Like, I had
my augmentation with nothing.
865
00:41:07,801 --> 00:41:10,720
I, like, went
and got a Diet Coke after.
866
00:41:10,762 --> 00:41:14,349
What we're going to do
is set an intention to release.
867
00:41:14,391 --> 00:41:17,435
It can be something very small.
It can be something very big.
868
00:41:17,477 --> 00:41:20,021
Once we let go of that pain,
we create all this space
869
00:41:20,063 --> 00:41:22,607
to call in
whatever we truly want,
870
00:41:22,649 --> 00:41:24,818
literally our life's desires.
871
00:41:24,859 --> 00:41:26,820
We'll start with Whitney.
872
00:41:26,861 --> 00:41:29,030
Go ahead and share what it is
you're releasing.
873
00:41:29,072 --> 00:41:35,912
I'm letting go
of past trauma, past hurt.
874
00:41:35,954 --> 00:41:37,372
KSENIYA:
And what are you calling in?
875
00:41:37,414 --> 00:41:40,041
I'm calling in Oneness.
876
00:41:40,083 --> 00:41:43,044
We'll seal that intention
for Whitney.
877
00:41:45,046 --> 00:41:50,301
I am releasing shame
of not making my family proud,
878
00:41:50,343 --> 00:41:55,807
and I want to call in
love and understanding.
879
00:41:55,849 --> 00:42:02,564
***
880
00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:06,526
I'm releasing the fear
of going to trial in 30 days.
881
00:42:06,568 --> 00:42:09,779
[voice breaking]
I'm calling in...
882
00:42:09,821 --> 00:42:12,157
[sniffles] my innocence
883
00:42:12,198 --> 00:42:15,994
and to just show my family
that I love them
884
00:42:16,036 --> 00:42:18,621
every single second
of every day.
885
00:42:18,663 --> 00:42:24,919
***
886
00:42:24,961 --> 00:42:26,379
KSENIYA: Lisa?
887
00:42:26,421 --> 00:42:29,257
I-I suck at this.
888
00:42:29,299 --> 00:42:33,887
I'm releasing hurt...
[voice breaking] and sadness.
889
00:42:33,928 --> 00:42:38,808
And I'm calling in love,
support...and kindness.
890
00:42:38,850 --> 00:42:42,896
***
891
00:42:42,937 --> 00:42:44,814
Go ahead and close your eyes
892
00:42:44,856 --> 00:42:46,983
and hold that cacao
to your heart.
893
00:42:47,025 --> 00:42:49,402
As the cacao starts
working through our system,
894
00:42:49,444 --> 00:42:51,738
we're gonna go ahead
and start with the breath.
895
00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:55,867
So I will tell you a little bit
about the breath work.
896
00:42:55,909 --> 00:42:58,119
There can be...Hello.
897
00:42:58,161 --> 00:42:59,746
-Hello.
-Welcome.
898
00:42:59,788 --> 00:43:00,747
-Hi.
-Hi.
899
00:43:00,789 --> 00:43:03,917
***
900
00:43:03,958 --> 00:43:05,418
Go ahead and have a seat.
901
00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:08,129
***
902
00:43:08,171 --> 00:43:12,175
When you arrive late, you don't
get to pick where you sit,
903
00:43:12,217 --> 00:43:16,012
and now Meredith
has to sit next to Lisa.
904
00:43:16,054 --> 00:43:18,515
For the lady that
joined us a little bit late,
905
00:43:18,556 --> 00:43:20,767
did you have something
that you want to release
906
00:43:20,809 --> 00:43:22,268
that you want
to share with the group?
907
00:43:22,310 --> 00:43:23,687
Um...
908
00:43:23,728 --> 00:43:26,856
It could be a specific person,
situation, relationship,
909
00:43:26,898 --> 00:43:29,859
anything.
910
00:43:29,901 --> 00:43:33,238
I'm--I'm not ready
to share right now.
911
00:43:33,279 --> 00:43:36,700
KSENIYA:
Okay. Okay. No problem.
912
00:43:36,741 --> 00:43:39,828
***
913
00:43:39,869 --> 00:43:43,123
All right, ladies, go ahead
914
00:43:43,164 --> 00:43:44,499
and use the cushion
that you're sitting on.
915
00:43:44,541 --> 00:43:47,502
Flip it
and go ahead and lie down.
916
00:43:47,544 --> 00:43:50,839
We're all gonna
start the breath together.
917
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,341
[inhaling and exhaling deeply]
918
00:43:53,383 --> 00:43:55,719
Good, remembering
what it is you're releasing,
919
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:56,886
what it is
you're letting go of.
920
00:43:56,928 --> 00:43:58,138
[exhales deeply]
921
00:43:58,179 --> 00:44:02,058
You are not
what happened to you.
922
00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,728
That doesn't define you.
923
00:44:04,769 --> 00:44:06,354
Let the tears come.
924
00:44:06,396 --> 00:44:08,189
You don't
have to hold it back.
925
00:44:08,231 --> 00:44:10,608
I'm right here with you.
I know it's scary.
926
00:44:10,650 --> 00:44:12,569
My eyes are closed,
and I'm just seeing
927
00:44:12,610 --> 00:44:15,780
the people
that I love most in my life.
928
00:44:15,822 --> 00:44:17,323
Coach is so strong.
929
00:44:17,365 --> 00:44:18,950
He's, like,
my biggest cheerleader,
930
00:44:18,992 --> 00:44:22,370
but it's hard for him.
931
00:44:22,412 --> 00:44:25,999
Just like I'm sure--
I know it's hard for my boys.
932
00:44:28,752 --> 00:44:30,670
-[exhales deeply]
-Good.
933
00:44:30,712 --> 00:44:33,923
Omar wondering if I'm gonna be
at his football games
934
00:44:33,965 --> 00:44:36,176
or Rieffy wondering
if I'm going to be
935
00:44:36,217 --> 00:44:39,512
at his white coat ceremony
in medical school.
936
00:44:39,554 --> 00:44:44,642
It's just stuff
we don't talk about, but...
937
00:44:44,684 --> 00:44:47,354
that's just the reality of my--
of the situation right now.
938
00:44:49,189 --> 00:44:50,648
KSENIYA:
You're so worthy of love,
939
00:44:50,690 --> 00:44:54,903
unwinding yourself
from all those stories.
940
00:44:54,944 --> 00:44:58,573
They're not yours to carry.
941
00:44:58,615 --> 00:45:01,284
It's okay.
Let it come up for release.
942
00:45:01,326 --> 00:45:02,827
-[exhales deeply]
-Good.
943
00:45:02,869 --> 00:45:04,537
What I was expecting to release
944
00:45:04,579 --> 00:45:07,707
was the hurt and sadness
I felt with my friends.
945
00:45:07,749 --> 00:45:11,544
KSENIYA: Lots coming up
for you over here.
946
00:45:11,586 --> 00:45:15,256
What I ended up releasing
was something totally different.
947
00:45:15,298 --> 00:45:17,175
It wasn't what I was expecting.
948
00:45:21,596 --> 00:45:24,140
Abandonment.
949
00:45:24,182 --> 00:45:26,893
KSENIYA:
Big releases coming for you.
950
00:45:26,935 --> 00:45:29,729
Big shifts coming for you.
951
00:45:29,771 --> 00:45:33,108
You're ready to let it go.
I know you are. I feel it.
952
00:45:33,149 --> 00:45:36,194
The only memory
that kept coming to my mind
953
00:45:36,236 --> 00:45:38,321
was me as a little girl.
954
00:45:41,241 --> 00:45:43,702
We were in this play area,
and there was a slide,
955
00:45:43,743 --> 00:45:46,162
and I kept going up and down
the slide, and my dad said,
956
00:45:46,204 --> 00:45:48,456
"Last time. We're done.
We're leaving."
957
00:45:48,498 --> 00:45:50,583
And I waited
till they walked ahead of me,
958
00:45:50,625 --> 00:45:53,503
and then I turned around and
went right back to the slide.
959
00:45:53,545 --> 00:45:57,590
After about 20 times going down
the slide with these other kids,
960
00:45:57,632 --> 00:46:00,176
I went up to the desk
and told the lady,
961
00:46:00,218 --> 00:46:02,429
like, "Hey, I don't know
where my mom and dad are."
962
00:46:02,470 --> 00:46:05,015
That's the only thought that
kept going through my head
963
00:46:05,056 --> 00:46:09,102
is I'm, like, "Oh, my God, you
didn't even notice I was gone."
964
00:46:09,144 --> 00:46:10,937
Beautiful, ladies.
965
00:46:10,979 --> 00:46:13,064
Really good releases.
966
00:46:13,106 --> 00:46:15,233
Really good releases.
Stay with it.
967
00:46:15,275 --> 00:46:17,110
Give yourself this gift.
968
00:46:17,152 --> 00:46:20,238
As I'm going through
all of this,
969
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,158
the truth is, I'm being brought
to where I was last year.
970
00:46:24,659 --> 00:46:27,287
Dealing with my father,
dealing with my nephew...
971
00:46:27,328 --> 00:46:29,581
I have a nephew
with mental health issues.
972
00:46:29,622 --> 00:46:33,543
...and the treatment
I received over it
973
00:46:33,585 --> 00:46:35,170
and the pain.
974
00:46:38,381 --> 00:46:40,967
We're building up for a big
release here, ladies, okay?
975
00:46:41,009 --> 00:46:42,469
So build up that breath.
976
00:46:42,510 --> 00:46:45,055
Okay, everything
we've been holding in,
977
00:46:45,096 --> 00:46:47,515
we're about to let it go
with a big yell.
978
00:46:47,557 --> 00:46:52,187
I did not pack
a Costco-size box of Kleenex
979
00:46:52,228 --> 00:46:55,273
'cause I did not anticipate
this many tears.
980
00:46:55,315 --> 00:46:57,484
This is night one.
981
00:46:57,525 --> 00:46:58,485
KSENIYA:
On the count of three,
982
00:46:58,526 --> 00:47:01,654
one, two, three.
Out with a yell.
983
00:47:01,696 --> 00:47:07,660
[all yelling]
984
00:47:07,702 --> 00:47:08,953
[laughter]
985
00:47:08,995 --> 00:47:12,332
Good.
Powerful work, everyone.
986
00:47:12,374 --> 00:47:14,459
So I'm gonna go ahead
and give a round of applause
987
00:47:14,501 --> 00:47:16,419
to all of you
for being so brave.
988
00:47:16,461 --> 00:47:18,463
The whole point of
this experience with the shaman
989
00:47:18,505 --> 00:47:21,508
is to be vulnerable
and to be open
990
00:47:21,549 --> 00:47:23,885
and to work
through something hard.
991
00:47:23,927 --> 00:47:25,512
What I got from that experience
992
00:47:25,553 --> 00:47:27,931
is that I'm gonna need
my friends to lean on
993
00:47:27,972 --> 00:47:30,934
and help me get through this.
I can't do this alone.
994
00:47:30,975 --> 00:47:32,977
KSENIYA:
How are we feeling?
995
00:47:33,019 --> 00:47:36,523
My body was, like,
numb and tingly.
996
00:47:36,564 --> 00:47:41,403
And I fed off of, like--
I could feel everyone's energy,
997
00:47:41,444 --> 00:47:44,406
and it helped push me a little
bit farther to release more.
998
00:47:44,447 --> 00:47:46,866
And how about you, love?
What was that like for you?
999
00:47:46,908 --> 00:47:48,702
It was intense,
1000
00:47:48,743 --> 00:47:51,538
and it's not my first time
working with a shaman.
1001
00:47:51,579 --> 00:47:53,707
And so I apologize
to all of you
1002
00:47:53,748 --> 00:47:57,293
for not getting here
in a timely fashion.
1003
00:47:57,335 --> 00:48:00,588
But I had some anxiety about it,
to be quite honest.
1004
00:48:00,630 --> 00:48:03,675
It stems
from me not feeling very safe.
1005
00:48:03,717 --> 00:48:07,429
Do you feel that way,
like, right now?
1006
00:48:07,470 --> 00:48:08,888
Like,
after this whole experience,
1007
00:48:08,930 --> 00:48:10,223
do you feel any safer?
1008
00:48:10,265 --> 00:48:13,893
I'm very much triggered
by our last trip
1009
00:48:13,935 --> 00:48:18,231
and--and having my father's
death weaponized against me.
1010
00:48:18,273 --> 00:48:22,277
And now I'm here
with the same group
1011
00:48:22,318 --> 00:48:24,946
a few days after the anniversary
of losing him,
1012
00:48:24,988 --> 00:48:26,906
and it's a lot for me.
1013
00:48:26,948 --> 00:48:29,743
Well, I used to feel like
I was a safe space for you,
1014
00:48:29,784 --> 00:48:32,245
And I'm sorry.
-You are not a safe space, Lisa.
1015
00:48:32,287 --> 00:48:34,164
I know. I said--I said I...
1016
00:48:34,205 --> 00:48:37,751
Never mind.
I won't say another...word.
1017
00:48:37,792 --> 00:48:41,880
***
1018
00:48:41,921 --> 00:48:43,882
Bye.
1019
00:48:43,923 --> 00:48:49,804
***
1020
00:48:49,846 --> 00:48:52,265
I'm not gonna lie.
1021
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:02,817
***
1022
00:49:07,447 --> 00:49:08,990
What did Lisa say to you first?
1023
00:49:09,032 --> 00:49:11,701
She said she used to think
she was a safe space for me,
1024
00:49:11,743 --> 00:49:13,161
and I said,
"You are not a safe space."
1025
00:49:13,203 --> 00:49:15,830
I'm not gonna lie.
1026
00:49:15,872 --> 00:49:17,248
[scoffs]
1027
00:49:17,290 --> 00:49:20,835
***
1028
00:49:20,877 --> 00:49:22,671
I'm gonna go grab Lisa.
I'm just gonna see
1029
00:49:22,712 --> 00:49:24,381
if I can convince her
to come back.
1030
00:49:24,422 --> 00:49:26,633
My legs are asleep.
1031
00:49:26,675 --> 00:49:28,843
[laughter]
1032
00:49:28,885 --> 00:49:31,596
Meredith, I'm here
to work through things with you
1033
00:49:31,638 --> 00:49:33,890
and give you support
for whatever you need to,
1034
00:49:33,932 --> 00:49:38,228
'cause I know
how painful and hurtful it is.
1035
00:49:39,187 --> 00:49:41,481
Hey, are you okay?
1036
00:49:44,859 --> 00:49:47,445
-No, it's okay, listen.
-Yeah.
1037
00:49:51,574 --> 00:49:53,493
No, no, I just had to--
I needed a break.
1038
00:49:53,535 --> 00:49:57,205
I know. I know.
But now you're coming back.
1039
00:49:57,247 --> 00:49:58,873
Right now I know you ladies
1040
00:49:58,915 --> 00:50:02,210
are probably starving,
so maybe at dinnertime,
1041
00:50:02,252 --> 00:50:04,295
this could be a lovely segue
1042
00:50:04,337 --> 00:50:06,256
to keep
these conversations flowing.
1043
00:50:06,297 --> 00:50:08,675
-You know what I mean?
-Yeah, I know.
1044
00:50:08,717 --> 00:50:09,843
-I'm fine sitting in it.
-I know. I know.
1045
00:50:09,884 --> 00:50:11,594
-I needed to get up.
-I'm glad you did
1046
00:50:11,636 --> 00:50:14,639
in that moment,
'cause it started to turn.
1047
00:50:14,681 --> 00:50:17,392
HEATHER: Come on. They're
already at dinner. Let's go.
1048
00:50:17,434 --> 00:50:22,063
***
1049
00:50:22,105 --> 00:50:24,357
Ooh, wow. Thank you.
1050
00:50:24,399 --> 00:50:27,485
This is, like, a Caprese salad,
and then we have
1051
00:50:27,527 --> 00:50:28,445
the charcuterie board
over there.
1052
00:50:28,486 --> 00:50:30,113
Ooh, I am starving.
1053
00:50:30,155 --> 00:50:32,532
I don't know about you,
but emotional breathing
1054
00:50:32,574 --> 00:50:34,909
takes a lot out of me.
[chuckles]
1055
00:50:34,951 --> 00:50:36,453
Thanks for putting
that together, Whitney.
1056
00:50:36,494 --> 00:50:37,871
-That was awesome.
-Thank you.
1057
00:50:37,912 --> 00:50:39,873
Yeah, thank you
for participating.
1058
00:50:39,914 --> 00:50:42,000
-You're welcome.
-Feels good to come together.
1059
00:50:43,793 --> 00:50:48,757
What did everybody set
as their thing to release?
1060
00:50:50,216 --> 00:50:52,427
HEATHER: You want to start?
1061
00:50:52,469 --> 00:50:57,349
Um, I wanted
to be able to release
1062
00:50:57,390 --> 00:50:59,726
the fear
of going to trial in a month.
1063
00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:00,852
Mm-hmm.
1064
00:51:00,894 --> 00:51:02,354
The other day,
I had, like, a little bit
1065
00:51:02,395 --> 00:51:04,314
of a breakdown
because, you know,
1066
00:51:04,356 --> 00:51:06,983
I get new information, right?
1067
00:51:07,025 --> 00:51:08,735
From the attorneys saying,
1068
00:51:08,777 --> 00:51:10,111
"Oh, there's a new discovery."
1069
00:51:10,153 --> 00:51:11,571
And I got in the car.
1070
00:51:11,613 --> 00:51:12,989
It was, like,
3 in the morning,
1071
00:51:13,031 --> 00:51:15,492
and I drove
down to my dad's grave.
1072
00:51:15,533 --> 00:51:17,327
MEREDITH: Aw.
1073
00:51:17,369 --> 00:51:20,205
[sobs] It just... [sniffles]
1074
00:51:20,246 --> 00:51:22,874
So, Coach is, like,
"Um, hello, where are you?"
1075
00:51:22,916 --> 00:51:27,045
-And then I blocked him.
-[laughter]
1076
00:51:27,087 --> 00:51:28,630
He did nothing wrong,
1077
00:51:28,672 --> 00:51:31,508
but, you know,
I was just having a moment.
1078
00:51:33,051 --> 00:51:37,138
Every time the phone rings,
I don't know what I'm gonna hear
1079
00:51:37,180 --> 00:51:38,348
on the other end of the phone.
1080
00:51:38,390 --> 00:51:40,558
What is the new accusation?
1081
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,728
What is the new motion
that needs to be filed?
1082
00:51:43,770 --> 00:51:47,816
I am on edge
100% of the time.
1083
00:51:47,857 --> 00:51:50,652
I think we all kind of saw
at Coach Shah's party
1084
00:51:50,694 --> 00:51:51,861
how much love...
-LISA: It was amazing.
1085
00:51:51,903 --> 00:51:53,405
...and support.
1086
00:51:53,446 --> 00:51:55,740
That felt really good to me
as your friend
1087
00:51:55,782 --> 00:51:59,160
to see, you know, the family
show up, celebrate Sharrieff,
1088
00:51:59,202 --> 00:52:01,454
celebrate you.
1089
00:52:12,298 --> 00:52:13,675
I've been
on this healing journey
1090
00:52:13,717 --> 00:52:18,054
for, honestly,
probably a year now.
1091
00:52:18,096 --> 00:52:20,515
[sighs] A lot of--I have...
1092
00:52:20,557 --> 00:52:23,727
My childhood
is blocked from, like, 9 to 17.
1093
00:52:23,768 --> 00:52:27,063
And as I'm doing all this work,
1094
00:52:27,105 --> 00:52:29,816
like, memories are coming up,
and...
1095
00:52:32,068 --> 00:52:35,822
I was
in a very abusive situation.
1096
00:52:35,864 --> 00:52:40,035
But I, like, stuffed it so deep
that I blocked all memory of it.
1097
00:52:40,076 --> 00:52:46,374
***
1098
00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:47,959
Physically abusive?
1099
00:52:49,961 --> 00:52:51,796
You?
1100
00:52:51,838 --> 00:52:53,882
Yeah.
1101
00:52:53,923 --> 00:53:05,393
***
1102
00:53:05,435 --> 00:53:09,356
Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Salt Lake City"...
1103
00:53:09,397 --> 00:53:11,900
All aboard
the Jen Shah Express!
1104
00:53:11,941 --> 00:53:16,071
[cheering]
1105
00:53:16,112 --> 00:53:17,739
[Spanish guitar riff]
1106
00:53:17,781 --> 00:53:19,449
Are we supposed to clap
1107
00:53:19,491 --> 00:53:21,326
or just, like, respect
and be quiet?
1108
00:53:21,368 --> 00:53:22,577
-I think just respect.
-Okay.
1109
00:53:22,619 --> 00:53:23,828
[whinnies]
1110
00:53:23,870 --> 00:53:26,039
Are you just
gonna move on with Lisa?
1111
00:53:26,081 --> 00:53:28,833
I'm not willing
to open myself up
1112
00:53:28,875 --> 00:53:31,127
to somebody who's just
gonna stab me in the heart.
1113
00:53:31,169 --> 00:53:33,963
Stop being a condescending,
superior bitch.
1114
00:53:36,049 --> 00:53:40,345
I have talked with Meredith
about rumors about you.
1115
00:53:40,387 --> 00:53:44,224
Does this feel ----ing good?
Like, ----ing hurt me more.
1116
00:53:44,265 --> 00:53:45,809
I didn't know. I didn't know.
1117
00:53:45,850 --> 00:53:47,936
I have told you everything,
Heather.
1118
00:53:47,977 --> 00:53:50,397
We were at the Jazz game
with Angie, and she goes,
1119
00:53:50,438 --> 00:53:54,401
"That's who Lisa sleeps with
for the Jazz tickets."
1120
00:53:54,442 --> 00:53:55,902
-Wait, what?
-Well, guess what?
1121
00:53:55,944 --> 00:53:58,238
I didn't hear
that ----ing nugget!
1122
00:53:58,279 --> 00:53:59,572
You are lying right now.
1123
00:53:59,614 --> 00:54:02,992
[bleep] you for calling me
a ----ing liar!
1124
00:54:03,034 --> 00:54:06,663
[bleep] you!