1 00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:03,628 Previously on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"... 2 00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,215 MAN: * Hit it, Rico, hit it, Rico * 3 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,175 -Whoo! -Hi! 4 00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,343 * Hey * 5 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,220 At some point I wanna talk to you 6 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,806 if you're open to it. -You know what? 7 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,808 You've had two months to reach out to me. 8 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,810 Well, I just want you to know I love you, 9 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,479 and I'm really, really sorry. -Leave me alone. 10 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,066 I'm hearing rumors left, right, and center about Lisa. 11 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,694 -That they exist. -Yeah. 12 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,947 We need to get to New York for a pre-trial meeting. 13 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,533 My trial is seven weeks from today. 14 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:37,287 I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. 15 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,706 Why don't we hurry and take a quick trip 16 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,625 before Jen goes to New York? And I was thinking Arizona. 17 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,669 -Scottsdale. -Oh, my God. I'm in. Let's go. 18 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,048 So, the past keeps showing up over and over. 19 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,549 'Cause I don't have a memory of it. 20 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,385 Clearing out this trauma with your early childhood 21 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,512 allows you to move forward. 22 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,973 -Can I hug you? -Yes, please do! 23 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,725 *** 24 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:02,020 JEN: I'm fighting for my life, not your approval. 25 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,772 *** 26 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,440 WHITNEY: I am more of a free spirit 27 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,776 without the Holy Spirit. 28 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:10,111 *** 29 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,738 LISA: I'll always have your back 30 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,741 if you stop stabbing me in mine. 31 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,370 MEREDITH: When I take a shot, I always hit my mark. 32 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,246 *** 33 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,248 HEATHER: I may be a bad Mormon, 34 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:25,335 but I'll always be a good time. 35 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:42,018 *** 36 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,019 [grunting] 37 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,939 Oh. Ah. 38 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,524 Aah! 39 00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:48,650 Out. 40 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,945 If I lose, you give me a 3-hour massage? 41 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,905 [laughs] No. 42 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,949 [laughs] 43 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,451 *** 44 00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,911 I'm impressed that you're up. Like, didn't you have 45 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,914 your fraternity, sorority thing last night? 46 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,791 I did go out last night. 47 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,544 But, you know, I'm up and going, 8 a.m. 48 00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,963 I didn't know that Thursday nights were big nights. 49 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,674 In my defense, they weren't big nights at BYU. 50 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:17,637 *** 51 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,597 Have you talked to your counselor 52 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,349 about colleges or places you wanna go? 53 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,478 We really gotta get serious about this. 54 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,689 Do you want me to call the school? 55 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,608 You know he doesn't want you to do it. 56 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,111 I know. 57 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:42,245 *** 58 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,164 Bubba, come here. Come try this. 59 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:47,334 *** 60 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,836 Is that too big? Wait. 61 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,504 Jen? 62 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,173 Hi, Mom. I'm in the kitchen. 63 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:55,759 CHARLENE: Oh, okay. 64 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,552 Ooh. How nice. 65 00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,305 A keto-friendly charcuterie snack board for you. 66 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,349 I got your favorite thing for us to do. 67 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,892 What is that? 68 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,811 -A puzzle. -Oh, good. 69 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:10,690 Ever since the legal situation happened, 70 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,026 my mom is somebody I lean on a lot. 71 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,403 Let's sit down over here. 72 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,572 The fact that I can be accused of these things 73 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,908 that I'm innocent of, it scares me. 74 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:22,869 I need to know that I'm gonna be okay, 75 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,288 and she gives me that reassurance and comfort. 76 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,665 This puzzle's the North Shore Hawaii. 77 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,585 But a thousand pieces? Really? 78 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,213 Oh, wait, look, here's three pieces are put together. 79 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,632 Yay! There you go. 80 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:40,470 So, I had a call with my lead trial attorney, Priya. 81 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,263 It's getting-- You know, it's getting closer. 82 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,932 Yes. 83 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:47,977 So yesterday, was like a mock trial of the prosecution side. 84 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,689 Umm, it was--it was rough. 85 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,900 Because you have to sit there and not say anything. 86 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,568 -Right, right, right. -So you have to listen 87 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,195 to all these things being said about you where 88 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,115 you wanna be like, "No, that's not true," "No, that's a lie." 89 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,574 -Oh, okay. -And you...you know? 90 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,910 So I only stormed out, like, twice. 91 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:04,994 Oh, that's good. 92 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,080 So I have to fly to New York next week. 93 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,456 Next week already? 94 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,418 Just for meetings with the legal team. 95 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,378 How are the boys doing with all of this, though? 96 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:18,425 Um...it's been hard. 97 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,510 Sharrieff told me the other day that... 98 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,137 [voice breaking] he walked into Omar's room, 99 00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,305 and Omar was crying. 100 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,933 He's like, "What's wrong?" And Omar said, 101 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,145 "I just don't wanna be without my mom, Dad." 102 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,438 [clicks teeth] 103 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,777 I know-- I know it affects him a lot, 104 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,321 but he just tries to be super strong around me. 105 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,241 It breaks my heart 106 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,286 knowing that Omar is worried about me. 107 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:49,247 I know... [sniffles] 108 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,458 how I would feel if I was wondering 109 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,044 if my mom would be around. 110 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,879 Because I rely so much on her. 111 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,842 You know, if I didn't have a great, loving husband... 112 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,635 -Yeah. Yeah. -...and kids, 113 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,846 Mom, I wouldn't still be here on this earth. 114 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,059 I could not get up every day 115 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,645 and listen to all of the negative sh-- 116 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,397 that is thrown at me, 117 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,607 and people saying all this stuff, 118 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,901 people that don't know me. 119 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,819 They want to just tear you down 120 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,530 until you don't want to live anymore. 121 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:31,915 Every single day. I get bullied every single day, 122 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:35,126 and then it's Sharrieff's job to come home... [sniffles] 123 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:39,089 and try to lift me up this much so that I don't... [sobbing] 124 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:42,050 want to ----ing kill myself and just not be here! 125 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,885 It's too painful! 126 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,429 Every day for a year I've been dealing with this? 127 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:51,184 Jen, you know what? Right now you're...I don't know how to-- 128 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,436 Mom, I just am... telling you. 129 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,063 I know. I know. But you know what? 130 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,816 I-I don't have answers for you, other than... 131 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:00,068 I need you here. 132 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,991 We'll get through all of this together. 133 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:12,038 And as much as it might hurt the boys and everything else, 134 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,624 just think what it would be like if you weren't here. 135 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,878 But, Mom, this-- that's what makes me mad. 136 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,964 My--no one has-- I haven't done anything. 137 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,882 And my family doesn't deserve this. 138 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:27,012 You don't deserve it. [exhales deeply] 139 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,514 You know what? That's okay. We're strong people. 140 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,392 We'll get through this together. 141 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,185 [exhales deeply] 142 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:38,815 [sighs] 143 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:42,110 -[sniffles] Thanks, Mom. -Yeah. 144 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,154 -Love you. -Love you. 145 00:06:48,908 --> 00:07:02,088 *** 146 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,923 [engine roars] 147 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:07,469 *** 148 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,636 [dog barks] 149 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:12,057 *** 150 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,768 [doorbell rings, barking intensifies] 151 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:19,356 WHITNEY: Rocky. Rocky! I said stay. Stay. 152 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,774 -Hello! -Hi! 153 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,359 Doing a little dog training. 154 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,027 -I love it. -Come on in. 155 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,363 I was just making you a charcuterie board. 156 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:29,616 Oh, wow. Oh, that looks beaut-- You made this yourself? 157 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,826 -Uh, yes. -Really? 158 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,703 -Yeah. -Great job. 159 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,705 -Chardonnay? -Yeah, that would be great. 160 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,500 Fabulous. Thank you, honey. [laughing] 161 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,002 Screw top. Makes Mom's job easy. 162 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,462 Right? 163 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,005 -Hi. -WHITNEY: Hi! 164 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,341 MEREDITH: Hi, guys. What's going on? 165 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,968 I made them walk today 'cause it's such a nice day. 166 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,388 Come give me a hug and then go wash your hands. 167 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,390 -Hi, Brooks. -BROOKS: Can I go-- 168 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,850 Did you wash with soap? Yeah, go put your stuff away. 169 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,061 -We're gonna just be-- -Brooks and Brooks need to meet. 170 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:03,066 Yes, Brooks, you know Meredith has a son named Brooks, right? 171 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,360 [laughs] 172 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,320 Do you wanna sit outside? 173 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,406 -Yeah, let's sit outside. -I can get you a blanket. 174 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,657 I think you might need a jacket. 175 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,200 -Yeah. -[chuckles] 176 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,411 In all the years that I've known Meredith, 177 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:17,497 she's never shown any interest in coming over to my house 178 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:20,000 and spending time with me. 179 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,960 -You wanna sit right here? -Sure. 180 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,879 But since her recent falling out with Lisa, 181 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,631 it seems she has time for me. 182 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,008 [barks] 183 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,676 You can wrap yourself up in that. 184 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,136 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. This is great. 185 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:35,515 Now I'm comfy cozy. 186 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,851 So what else is going on? Tell me. 187 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:41,354 It's been a little-- a little crazy, right? 188 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,481 Yeah. I mean, I feel like 189 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,734 I need to ask you how you're doing. 190 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,611 I'm okay, you know? 191 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,614 Did you have fun at the party? 192 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:56,286 Yeah. I mean... it was awkward with Lisa. 193 00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:00,457 You know? It's just-- there's no, like, 194 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,875 practice what you preach with her. 195 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,336 She's so, just, hypocritical. 196 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,046 And then she's always telling everyone else 197 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,714 that they're hypocritical, and they're wrong, 198 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,424 and they're this, and they're that. 199 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,886 She has bad-mouthed every single one of us in our circle. 200 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,679 I don't wanna lose our liquor license 201 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,766 over somebody's wedding in their basement 202 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,560 with a stripper pole. 203 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,104 Well, I used to hear stories. I think she was, like, 204 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:27,067 the one that was, like, "Honor Code what?" 205 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:32,155 She was meeting up with somebody other than her family. 206 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,825 ----ing piece of sh-- garbage whore. 207 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:42,374 You say to yourself, "Whoa, why are you so busy 208 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,502 trying to put everyone else down in this way 209 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,213 when there are all these rumors flying about you?" 210 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,758 *** 211 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,594 Well, what have you heard? 212 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:58,264 Jen just made reference to there having been affairs. 213 00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,766 What do youknow? 214 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:06,398 [crunching] 215 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,692 I just heard that she was, you know, doing favors 216 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,111 to help get places to pick up Vida Tequila. 217 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,862 I have no idea if it's true or false. 218 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:16,991 It sounds absurd to me. 219 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,245 I know that sounds absurd, but it's really not, 220 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:24,666 because I've actually heard the same thing. 221 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,876 -You have heard that? -Yes. 222 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:30,422 I have a-a friend, and... 223 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,298 it's a mutual friend of Lisa's, 224 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,010 and he's very wealthy and very well known in Utah. 225 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:40,015 And I've heard that she slept with him to sway him 226 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,934 to invest in...her businesses. 227 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:48,023 I don't know, but I feel bad talking behind her back. 228 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,985 The last thing I want to do is sit and talk about Lisa 229 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,612 behind her back. I'm just trying to understand, 230 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,032 like, how did we even get here? 231 00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:02,328 I don't know, but during my last healing session with Megan, 232 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:06,332 my energy healer, I was able to connect... 233 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,709 ...to Lisa. 234 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,670 It's still stuck. What's coming to mind? 235 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,797 Um, actually, it's Lisa. 236 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:16,509 I always see her as, like, big, mean, nasty. 237 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,678 But I just saw her as, like, a scared little girl. 238 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,221 -The inner child. -Yeah. 239 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,558 Wow. 240 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:28,438 When I felt her and saw her, I realized... 241 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:33,610 that maybe there is something there that... 242 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,112 is, like, worth fighting for. 243 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,405 Wow. 244 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,160 I hear you. I just don't know, um... 245 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,163 At this point, in my view, like... 246 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,957 why am I bothering? You know? 247 00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:51,044 Yeah. But hear me out. We have this trip coming up. 248 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,047 I know that Jen, you know, she needs us. 249 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:57,801 And I am hijacking all the bulls---. 250 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,344 It really is gonna be about healing. 251 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:03,181 -[laughs] Okay, for real? -For reals. 252 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:07,268 We can do this. We can come together. 253 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,437 Okay. 254 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,730 Coming up... 255 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,565 I used to feel like I was a safe space for you, 256 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,109 and I'm sorry. 257 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,902 You are not a safe space, Lisa. 258 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:35,088 *** 259 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,845 LISA: Ooh. Oh. Are you kidding me? 260 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,014 Are you kidding me? 261 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:47,684 Yeah, that extra foot you grew is coming in handy. 262 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,811 You ready for some competition? 263 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,813 Uh-huh. 264 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,482 Ooh! Yikes. Maybe not. 265 00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:59,612 Come on. Try and take it away. 266 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:00,989 Ooh. [laughs] 267 00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:03,283 Let me see you do a little layup. 268 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:06,953 [laughing] 269 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:11,916 How's everything going with your SATs? 270 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,002 Oh! [laughing] 271 00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,838 Very mid-tier. I have to re-take 'em. 272 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,423 What are you thinking about with college? 273 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,133 I don't know. 274 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,138 -[rim clatters] -Ooh. 275 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,223 Like you still wanna go, or no? 276 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,142 -I don't know. -You don't know? 277 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,895 Like if you don't go to college, what would you do? 278 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,272 I don't know. Probably end up richer 279 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,191 than if I went to college. 280 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:40,820 So walk me through this logic. Whoa. 281 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:43,406 So, like, walk me through your logic. 282 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,702 Killer company. 283 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,206 So if I just kill it with that, then I can start other companies 284 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:55,251 and just become successful. 285 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,672 LISA: Jack has always been a straight-A student. 286 00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:02,759 Like, always the leader in his class, always involved. 287 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,637 And so this whole thing is, like, surprising me. 288 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,973 I'm, like, why are you all of a sudden so emphatic 289 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,184 about not going to college? 290 00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,978 You know, the way my dad raised me, 291 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,481 like I graduated from high school when I was 17. 292 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,526 And my dad was like, "You're on your own now, basically." 293 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,236 I love that you have your own business, 294 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,862 but you have your own business 295 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,155 'cause Daddy and I worked hard, too. 296 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,990 Uh, this is Fresh Wolf. 297 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,200 It's a company me and my brother started. 298 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,744 Uh, we have a lot of different products. 299 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:30,620 Shh. [whispers indistinctly] 300 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,913 Like shampoo, conditioner, 301 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,790 pomade, hair wax, and beard oil. 302 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,834 -I love it. -That was good. 303 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,254 You know, without those kind of connections, it kind of sucks. 304 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:43,508 And, like, you need to think about that. 305 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,678 Like, not many people your age have what you have. 306 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,057 But it's also because I went to college, you know? 307 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:56,312 Fudge college, honestly. There's no need for it. 308 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,234 You know, I don't even know what's happening right now. 309 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,278 I don't know if I pushed Jack to this point 310 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,363 because I was raised so independently. 311 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,116 I'm one of six kids, and I had to be grown-up. 312 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:12,078 And I think with that, I have a very... 313 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,914 high set of expectations on myself. 314 00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:19,753 And I think I've naturally just imparted those on my children. 315 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,629 Listen, this is supposed to be conversational. 316 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:22,964 You're taking it like-- 317 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:26,259 I'm just telling you my experience. Just listen. 318 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,679 College is where they go to build machines, not humans. 319 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:33,099 You know, it's, like, oh, my gosh, did I create this? 320 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:36,269 -Okay. Take a break for a sec. -No. 321 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:39,564 -Talk. I'm all ears. -No, it just hurt my feelings-- 322 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,317 I'm trying to, like, understand where you're coming from. 323 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,152 It's like--seems like you're giving attitude, 324 00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:46,696 like, "I know everything, I understand everything." 325 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,948 You don't. You have me and Dad supporting you. 326 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,825 Like, when you can get to a point 327 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,453 where you're funding your own business all by yourself, 328 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,288 and I don't have to invest any money, 329 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,207 and your dad doesn't have to invest any money, 330 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,959 then you can be like, "I got this. I'm amazing." 331 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,171 You can't do that now. That's not how it works, Jack. 332 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:06,174 Okay. Well, I'm going inside. 333 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:19,979 *** 334 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,856 -WHITNEY: Justin. -JUSTIN: Yeah? 335 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,191 WHITNEY: Come here. 336 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,486 What's up? 337 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,446 I'm gonna fill up your glass. 338 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,119 What's going on? 339 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,662 Are you okay? 340 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,163 No. 341 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,459 I just got off the phone with Will. 342 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,299 [bottle clatters] 343 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,720 -I need to talk to you. -What's up? Are you okay? 344 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,645 [sniffles] 345 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,108 [sniffles] 346 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,484 Uh-oh. 347 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,781 Babe, what's going on? 348 00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,700 [sniffles] 349 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,372 I'm sorry. I just don't know where to start. 350 00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,374 -It's so much. -So, just tell me. 351 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,168 Start from what-- Like, what happened? 352 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,503 Like, what-- What did he say to you? 353 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,798 I was just trying to, like, plan something 354 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,009 to get together with him and... [sniffles] 355 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:34,220 And... 356 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,514 I just told him how I've been doing, 357 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,684 like, all this therapy and healing work, 358 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:43,646 and he shared with me that he was doing EDMR. 359 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,440 What's EDMR? 360 00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,526 It's, like, a form of, like, memory recall 361 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:53,073 based on hand-eye coordination. 362 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,783 [sighs] 363 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,620 Like, you know how I always, like, tell you that I... 364 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:06,378 [sniffles] I don't remember details of my childhood? 365 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,589 -[sniffles] -Yeah. 366 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,802 [voice breaking] Will told me... [sobbing] 367 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:20,058 ...that he...like, through his EDMR therapy, remembers... 368 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,227 [sobbing] 369 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:27,232 ...that I was actually abused and I just don't remember it. 370 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,609 Oh, my gosh. 371 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:30,735 [sniffles] 372 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,865 A lot of my childhood I have blocked out, 373 00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:39,452 and as I've been on this healing journey... 374 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,247 I have relied on other family members 375 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,208 to help fill in the pieces. 376 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:49,504 Because as much healing that I do, there are certain things 377 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,841 that you cannot remove from a child's brain. 378 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,429 [sobbing] 379 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,764 All of those memories that I have suppressed 380 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,558 are all flowing through me now. 381 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,352 And there's just so much pain. 382 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:07,731 I'm just feeling so much pain and so much anger. 383 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:12,485 And it just feels very overwhelming... 384 00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,863 to take this all on right now. 385 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:22,579 [voice breaking] And so... I don't even know if I, like, 386 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:28,251 am comfortable saying it, but... 387 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,628 But when--when... 388 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,841 when Megan came to our house... -Uh-huh. 389 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:39,012 And we--we saged the house, every bathroom she went in, 390 00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:42,640 she was like, "There's so many demons in your bathrooms. 391 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,852 I don't know what it is about with you and bathrooms," like... 392 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:51,733 Did Will say something that gave you some clarity on that? 393 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:58,865 So ----ed up. It's so ----ed up. 394 00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:02,535 'Cause I'm still so scared... [sniffles] 395 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:06,790 ...to say what I know and what I remember. 396 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,208 Babe, I'm so sorry. 397 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,585 [sniffles] 398 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,213 This is so ----ed up. 399 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:17,842 Like...like, but do you still love me? 400 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,844 Of course I do, babe. 401 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,680 [sniffles] 402 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,264 -Of course. -[Whitney sniffles] 403 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:28,561 *** 404 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:32,357 As--As much as I often question if I-- 405 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,401 if it would be easier to not know 406 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,986 and un-see it and un-remember it... 407 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:41,741 I don't think so. Like, I think that... [sniffles] 408 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:44,035 I think that you have to allow yourself 409 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:48,248 to go through it and acknowledge it... [sniffles] 410 00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:52,210 and survive it. 411 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:56,423 There is a trauma hidden deep... 412 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,759 deep inside of me, and I know that. 413 00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:04,222 I know you're obvious--obviously able to block out things 414 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,892 that were hurtful to you. 415 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,270 And I know that's a big reason why you're going through 416 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:16,026 what you're going through right now. 417 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,862 But you definitely can't take that on yourself. 418 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:24,909 *** 419 00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:37,005 *** 420 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:45,722 Can you go grab me that stuff over there and hand it to me? 421 00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:49,517 I mean that-- All of that I'm packing. 422 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:53,146 -What is this? -[laughter] 423 00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:56,524 Listen, Jen said she wanted a lingerie party. 424 00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,902 I do not want to let Jen down, ever. 425 00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:01,071 -GEORGIA: It's true. -ANNABELLE: Yeah, exactly. 426 00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:09,871 *** 427 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,831 These are-- 428 00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:13,833 What are you doing? What is that even for? 429 00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:15,543 We're going to plan a little party. 430 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:17,128 It's gonna be called 431 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,880 the Garbage Trash Whore Lingerie Party. 432 00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:21,257 -That's the theme? -Yes. 433 00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:22,842 Please don't. That's not good. 434 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:26,054 I'll just say GTW. [chants] GTW. 435 00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:34,771 *** 436 00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:37,524 Are you sure you should be going on this trip? 437 00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:40,151 Yeah, I mean, it's not the best timing, 438 00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:43,405 but--but for me, what's really calling me to Arizona, 439 00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:46,825 is, like, me just trying to... 440 00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,785 heal and connect with my family 441 00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:51,621 and move on from all of this past trauma. 442 00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,415 After I got the phone call from Will, 443 00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:56,042 I called my other half brother, Curtis. 444 00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:58,628 And I told him I was supposed to be coming to Arizona 445 00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:00,422 on a girls trip, but I didn't know 446 00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:03,466 if I was strong enough to go. But he said, "No, come, 447 00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:05,677 and you need to see me and your sister. 448 00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:07,637 We got you. We're going to be here for you. 449 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,014 We'll help you get through this." 450 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,641 It feels right, and it feels good 451 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:14,602 to be, like, connecting with them. 452 00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:28,992 *** 453 00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:32,620 -Lisa! -Are you ready? [laughs] 454 00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:34,414 How many bags do you have? 455 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,458 -I have too many. -Oh, you do. 456 00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,918 *** 457 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,837 LISA: Okay, we got to go. We're going to miss our flight. 458 00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,632 -Hey. Are you good? -Yeah, we're good. 459 00:23:44,674 --> 00:23:47,260 I just have to go backwards. 460 00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:50,180 WHITNEY: I invited Lisa to fly ahead with me, 461 00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:52,390 because the thought of the five of us 462 00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:53,808 flying together right now, 463 00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,894 I think I'd have a full-on panic attack, 464 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:59,481 just trying to make sure that no one got in a fight, 465 00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:01,316 specifically Lisa and Meredith. 466 00:24:01,358 --> 00:24:03,485 [jet roars] 467 00:24:03,526 --> 00:24:08,490 *** 468 00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:10,658 You can go in first. 469 00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:12,911 Thank you, sir. 470 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,496 Well, I think the other girls, 471 00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:15,997 their flight gets in in a little bit. 472 00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:17,707 -LISA: Oh, really? -Yeah. 473 00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,459 -Okay. -They're not too far behind us. 474 00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:22,295 HEATHER: Do you guys know our gate? 475 00:24:22,337 --> 00:24:23,755 -Oh, there we go. -JEN: Oh! 476 00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:25,674 MEREDITH: Are we excited? 477 00:24:25,715 --> 00:24:28,426 HEATHER: I love Arizona in the winter. 478 00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,719 [laughs] 479 00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,808 It's the redheaded stepchild of Utah. 480 00:24:34,849 --> 00:24:37,811 It's just Utah, warmer, and with more white people, 481 00:24:37,852 --> 00:24:40,146 if that's even humanly possible. 482 00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:42,524 I wouldn't mind St. Tropez or Bali 483 00:24:42,565 --> 00:24:45,193 or the Maldives, something like that. 484 00:24:45,235 --> 00:24:48,530 Well, I don't think Jen can leave the country. 485 00:24:48,571 --> 00:24:50,990 USA all the way! Yes! 486 00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,075 *** 487 00:24:52,117 --> 00:24:55,203 HEATHER: Utah Part two. [chuckles] 488 00:24:55,245 --> 00:25:02,043 *** 489 00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:04,004 -Oh, we're here. -Oh, my gosh. 490 00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:06,798 -WHITNEY: Look at the gate. -LISA: Ooh, I like the entry. 491 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,341 -LISA: This is so pretty. -WHITNEY: Oh, they have 492 00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:11,636 cocktails waiting for us. That's amazing. 493 00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:15,557 -WHITNEY: Hello. -LISA: Hi! 494 00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:16,891 [speaks indistinctly] 495 00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,727 -I love it. -So happy to be here. 496 00:25:18,768 --> 00:25:19,936 -I know. -Hi. I'm Becca! 497 00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:20,979 -Becca, I'm Whitney. -WHITNEY: Hi, Becca. 498 00:25:21,021 --> 00:25:22,022 -Hi, Whitney. -Hi! Lisa. 499 00:25:22,063 --> 00:25:24,065 -Lisa? -So nice to meet you. 500 00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:27,318 Ooh, I would love one. Thank you. 501 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,903 -Cheers. -Yay! 502 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:30,363 -Are you ready to see the house? -Yes. 503 00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:31,489 Yes! 504 00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,450 *** 505 00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:36,619 -Oh, wow. -So pretty. 506 00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:39,122 WHITNEY: Is this one of Mary's rentals? 507 00:25:39,164 --> 00:25:40,415 [laughter] 508 00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:42,083 Walking into this house, 509 00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:46,004 I feel like we've stepped foot into Mary Cosby's grand foyer. 510 00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:48,757 [lively classical music playing] 511 00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:51,384 It's almost like Mary is still with us. 512 00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:53,053 [voice echoes] Women... 513 00:25:53,094 --> 00:25:55,847 *** 514 00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:59,351 LISA: Okay. Oh, is that all by itself? 515 00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:01,353 -It is. -Oh. Oh! 516 00:26:01,394 --> 00:26:04,773 -WHITNEY: Wow. -LISA: Just like "Dynasty." 517 00:26:04,814 --> 00:26:06,483 It literally looks like Barbie's dream house... 518 00:26:06,524 --> 00:26:08,943 circa 1984. 519 00:26:08,985 --> 00:26:11,112 The house is massively outdated, 520 00:26:11,154 --> 00:26:14,115 but I do think it's a good party house. 521 00:26:14,157 --> 00:26:15,617 So the rest of the house is that way. 522 00:26:15,658 --> 00:26:17,285 I'm gonna let you guys enjoy it. 523 00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:18,453 Thank you! 524 00:26:18,495 --> 00:26:21,247 WHITNEY: This makes me kind of miss Mary. 525 00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:24,292 [laughter] 526 00:26:24,334 --> 00:26:25,293 Coming up... 527 00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:26,670 I love you both, 528 00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:28,129 and maybe it's at the point now where there can be 529 00:26:28,171 --> 00:26:30,715 a conversation, and she can hear you. 530 00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:32,509 Have you talked to her about it? 531 00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:34,636 This is you and Meredith's fight. 532 00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:41,518 *** 533 00:26:44,187 --> 00:26:45,772 WHITNEY: I'm going to get my swimsuit on. 534 00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:47,649 We need some sun. 535 00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:49,693 LISA: We never get to spend one-on-one time together. 536 00:26:49,734 --> 00:26:51,361 It's been nice. 537 00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:55,031 *** 538 00:26:55,073 --> 00:26:56,866 WHITNEY: Cheers, Lisa. 539 00:26:57,909 --> 00:27:00,120 Oh, my gosh. [laughs] 540 00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:02,497 I dare you to drink from that. Drink from it. 541 00:27:02,539 --> 00:27:03,998 [laughs] 542 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,210 Here, let's cheers. 543 00:27:07,252 --> 00:27:09,713 [laughing] 544 00:27:09,754 --> 00:27:10,880 [laughs] 545 00:27:10,922 --> 00:27:12,465 You're the good time girl. 546 00:27:12,507 --> 00:27:14,759 Sorry, Heather. You've been replaced. 547 00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:16,553 [laughs] 548 00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:19,389 Well, thanks for inviting me to come in early with you. 549 00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:22,058 Yeah, thanks for coming. 550 00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:24,144 I think it's been good. Like, I feel like I'm getting 551 00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:26,187 to understand you better, and I love that. 552 00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:28,148 Well, and it helps me, too, 553 00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:30,191 'cause I started this, like, path of healing. 554 00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:33,820 I'll share with you. I, like-- I don't remember my childhood. 555 00:27:33,862 --> 00:27:35,405 -You blocked it out? -I blocked it out. 556 00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:42,078 And it goes-- it goes pretty deep. 557 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,040 I started doing this energy work, 558 00:27:45,081 --> 00:27:48,877 and, like, I'm just starting to have memories. 559 00:27:50,545 --> 00:27:54,799 I'm gonna be honest, it's, like, really hard for me... 560 00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:56,843 to talk about it right now. 561 00:27:56,885 --> 00:27:59,637 But it's just...Sorry. 562 00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:01,848 It's okay. 563 00:28:01,890 --> 00:28:05,602 My trauma is pretty intense for me right now, 564 00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:09,272 and is just so much to process and so much to take in. 565 00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,274 And right now, I'm just not feeling 566 00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:13,943 like it's something I'm comfortable sharing. 567 00:28:13,985 --> 00:28:15,487 When you say you block out things, 568 00:28:15,528 --> 00:28:17,238 like, I don't necessarily block out things, 569 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,115 but I remember things where I'm like, 570 00:28:19,157 --> 00:28:20,992 "That was stressful for me." 571 00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:23,953 My sister and I were talking so much about, like, 572 00:28:23,995 --> 00:28:25,705 childhood traumas. 573 00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:29,542 My parents were little kids raising little kids. 574 00:28:29,584 --> 00:28:32,128 I'm the middle child, but I assumed 575 00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:34,297 everything for all of my sisters. 576 00:28:34,339 --> 00:28:36,549 I, like, was the one to do, like, 577 00:28:36,591 --> 00:28:38,009 even my little sister's hair, 578 00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:38,968 like, every morning before school. 579 00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:41,429 Like, my parents both worked. 580 00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:44,182 And, like, I got three younger kids ready for school. 581 00:28:44,224 --> 00:28:46,142 I've been an adult my whole life. 582 00:28:46,184 --> 00:28:49,979 You know, when I started college, my dad was 39. 583 00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:52,482 He had two other kids in college, 584 00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:55,318 had already funded two missions, 585 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,696 and had three younger kids still in school. 586 00:28:57,737 --> 00:28:59,572 We just knew what we had to do 587 00:28:59,614 --> 00:29:02,283 to support our parents. Like, we just knew. 588 00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:04,411 So we started to lean on each other. 589 00:29:04,452 --> 00:29:07,163 And when anything goes wrong for any of us, 590 00:29:07,205 --> 00:29:08,498 we are there for each other. 591 00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:11,626 And, like, I'm very close with all of my siblings. 592 00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:13,837 And so for me, like, like, you know, when I say, 593 00:29:13,878 --> 00:29:15,296 like, "Oh, I love you like my sister," 594 00:29:15,338 --> 00:29:17,465 that's a big deal to me. -Yeah. 595 00:29:17,507 --> 00:29:20,176 Because I'm so used to having girls around me, 596 00:29:20,218 --> 00:29:22,679 but not everybody loves me the same way back, 597 00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:24,180 and I'm realizing that. 598 00:29:24,222 --> 00:29:27,517 Like, for example, like, I feel, like, 599 00:29:27,559 --> 00:29:31,021 even with Meredith, I was definitely more invested 600 00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:33,773 and in love with the idea of being, like, 601 00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:37,694 Meredith's best friend, like her sister and it's... 602 00:29:37,736 --> 00:29:40,655 It wasn't--it wasn't what I thought it was. 603 00:29:40,697 --> 00:29:43,033 I was a great friend of Meredith for 10 years. 604 00:29:43,074 --> 00:29:45,285 And it was, like, my one mistake 605 00:29:45,326 --> 00:29:47,454 made her feel like, "You're a horrible person. 606 00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,330 You haven't been my friend for 10 years." 607 00:29:49,372 --> 00:29:50,749 And, like, that's bullsh--. 608 00:29:50,790 --> 00:29:52,709 That is bullsh--. 609 00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:54,419 I-I love you both. 610 00:29:54,461 --> 00:29:56,880 And I-I think that you both share 611 00:29:56,921 --> 00:29:59,758 very similar feelings on it 612 00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:02,385 for different reasons and different causes. 613 00:30:02,427 --> 00:30:04,262 And maybe it's at the point now where there can be 614 00:30:04,304 --> 00:30:06,139 a conversation and she can hear you. 615 00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:08,058 Have you talked to her about it? 616 00:30:08,099 --> 00:30:11,394 *** 617 00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:14,731 Yes. 618 00:30:14,773 --> 00:30:26,034 *** 619 00:30:26,076 --> 00:30:27,744 MEREDITH: Thank you. 620 00:30:27,786 --> 00:30:31,331 Zack the snack. Thank you. 621 00:30:31,373 --> 00:30:33,625 You guys, this is awesome! 622 00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:37,212 Look at the view. 623 00:30:37,253 --> 00:30:39,255 And how did you feel based on your conversation? 624 00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:42,425 I think that this is you and Meredith's fight and battle. 625 00:30:42,467 --> 00:30:43,802 -Yeah, but how did you-- -I don't want to get-- 626 00:30:43,843 --> 00:30:45,470 How I feel? I feel like... 627 00:30:46,930 --> 00:30:48,264 Mm-hmm. 628 00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:49,891 -Okay. -Wow. 629 00:30:49,933 --> 00:30:52,143 -Yeah. -Whitney Rose did this. 630 00:30:52,185 --> 00:30:54,187 [laughs] Whitney Rose done right. 631 00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:55,855 Yeah, this is what I call a girls trip, okay? 632 00:30:55,897 --> 00:30:57,649 Look at them out by the pool. 633 00:30:57,691 --> 00:31:02,737 I've forgiven myself, and I can't control what she-- 634 00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:05,615 if she forgives me, but I do know, like, 635 00:31:05,657 --> 00:31:07,283 if there's a path for resolution, like, 636 00:31:07,325 --> 00:31:10,328 I'll be on it with her if she wants that. 637 00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:13,289 But she has to want that. It's not up to me at this point. 638 00:31:13,331 --> 00:31:15,458 But I can't wallow in self-hatred, 639 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:17,794 and I'm not gonna slit my wrists for anybody 640 00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:19,295 at this stage in my life. 641 00:31:19,337 --> 00:31:22,007 Like, I said sorry four times. If they can't forgive me, 642 00:31:22,048 --> 00:31:24,175 there's nothing I can do about it. 643 00:31:26,302 --> 00:31:27,637 -Um... -What's up?! 644 00:31:27,679 --> 00:31:29,222 [all cheering] 645 00:31:29,264 --> 00:31:32,517 -What is this? -Fire in the hole. 646 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:35,645 Meredith has been just picking flowers the whole afternoon. 647 00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:37,605 You brought me a bouquet of flowers. 648 00:31:37,647 --> 00:31:38,857 -A cock? -Sangria. 649 00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:42,986 Sangria, and a half-drank bottle of Fireball. 650 00:31:43,028 --> 00:31:44,946 I did not drink the Fireball. 651 00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:46,656 This is Meredith's. 652 00:31:46,698 --> 00:31:49,868 I missed you! [laughing] 653 00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:53,663 *** 654 00:31:53,705 --> 00:31:54,748 Coming up... 655 00:31:54,789 --> 00:31:57,000 I don't want to be put in the middle 656 00:31:57,042 --> 00:31:58,835 of Meredith and Lisa's fight. 657 00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:00,920 Meredith has talked to you about rumors about Lisa? 658 00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:02,380 Mm-hmm. 659 00:32:09,304 --> 00:32:11,890 *** 660 00:32:16,436 --> 00:32:18,563 -What's up?! -[cheering] 661 00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:23,318 -We brought you champagne and... -This is so nice! 662 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,111 ...a half-drank bottle of Fireball. 663 00:32:25,153 --> 00:32:26,946 I did not drink the Fireball. 664 00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:28,448 HEATHER: This is Meredith's. 665 00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:31,284 I do wear glasses. I don't have 'em on right now. 666 00:32:31,326 --> 00:32:33,328 But I can definitely see 667 00:32:33,370 --> 00:32:35,455 that Meredith does not want to talk to me, 668 00:32:35,497 --> 00:32:38,833 and I don't want to push myself on her. 669 00:32:38,875 --> 00:32:41,920 I missed you! [laughing] 670 00:32:41,961 --> 00:32:45,715 It's definitely very awkward between Lisa and Meredith. 671 00:32:45,757 --> 00:32:47,258 I didn't expect them to have, like, 672 00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:48,885 a warm welcome with each other, 673 00:32:48,927 --> 00:32:51,805 but I expected something, like at least a hello. 674 00:32:51,846 --> 00:32:53,515 It's okay. It's fine. 675 00:32:56,184 --> 00:32:57,977 No. 676 00:32:58,019 --> 00:32:59,896 HEATHER: We looked for Kit Kats for you and Sugar Babies. 677 00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:01,564 All I could find were Hot Tamales and Milk Duds. 678 00:33:01,606 --> 00:33:03,274 -They were out? -But they were out. 679 00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:04,943 LISA: What do you mean, they're out? 680 00:33:04,984 --> 00:33:07,237 -Wow! -Oh, my gosh! 681 00:33:07,278 --> 00:33:10,281 We haven't seen the kitchen! This is awesome! 682 00:33:10,323 --> 00:33:11,741 Yeah, so I'll give you the rundown. 683 00:33:11,783 --> 00:33:13,493 We have a shaman coming, 684 00:33:13,535 --> 00:33:16,413 and she recommended not drinking. 685 00:33:16,454 --> 00:33:18,707 -Yeah. -Did you explain to her 686 00:33:18,748 --> 00:33:20,542 a little bit about our background? 687 00:33:20,583 --> 00:33:22,460 Listen. This is my third attempt 688 00:33:22,502 --> 00:33:25,839 at doing some sort of healing for--for all of you. 689 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,674 If this one doesn't work, I'm retiring. 690 00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:31,594 WOMAN: Who doesn't trust Jen? Raise your hand. 691 00:33:31,636 --> 00:33:33,096 Okay. 692 00:33:33,138 --> 00:33:37,058 Hey, we have to go. 693 00:33:37,100 --> 00:33:40,645 Like, I-I went out of my way to put this together and... 694 00:33:40,687 --> 00:33:43,440 but we don't have light. We only have sunlight. 695 00:33:43,481 --> 00:33:47,485 Thank you for, like, indulging me on my journey to heal. 696 00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:51,531 And I know that Jen needs us now more than ever. 697 00:33:51,573 --> 00:33:54,367 I just wanted a girls trip getaway for Jen 698 00:33:54,409 --> 00:33:56,870 to come together and to spend time 699 00:33:56,911 --> 00:33:59,164 and just show you our love and support for you. 700 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:01,332 [voice breaking] I wasn't expecting this. 701 00:34:01,374 --> 00:34:03,001 [whispers] Got you. 702 00:34:03,043 --> 00:34:08,631 And I really need it now more than ever, so thank you. 703 00:34:08,673 --> 00:34:12,135 It's times like these that you really see 704 00:34:12,177 --> 00:34:13,678 who shows up for you. 705 00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:17,265 [sniffles] It means a lot. Thank you, you guys. 706 00:34:17,307 --> 00:34:19,934 These four women-- they've shown up for me, 707 00:34:19,976 --> 00:34:24,022 and I'm very, very grateful. 708 00:34:24,064 --> 00:34:26,358 This is a beautiful home. I'm thrilled to be here. 709 00:34:26,399 --> 00:34:27,484 I'm thrilled to be here with all of you. 710 00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:28,985 -Yeah. -I'm glad everybody came. 711 00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:31,654 -MEREDITH: Thank you, Whitney. -Thank you so much. 712 00:34:31,696 --> 00:34:35,158 But with that said, I pre-selected the rooms. 713 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,578 I just wanted to avoid the headache and all of the drama. 714 00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:41,956 We'll just set it up as you, me, Heather. 715 00:34:41,998 --> 00:34:44,000 -Heather, Mer? -Heather, Mer, and Jen. 716 00:34:44,042 --> 00:34:46,461 There's only two things that I need to make sure happen. 717 00:34:46,503 --> 00:34:47,879 Meredith's on one end of the house, 718 00:34:47,921 --> 00:34:49,589 and Lisa's on the other end of the house. 719 00:34:49,631 --> 00:34:54,052 We decided to give you the master. 720 00:34:54,094 --> 00:34:57,472 Oh, my gosh. [squealing] 721 00:34:57,514 --> 00:35:00,850 HEATHER: She keeps getting the best room every time! 722 00:35:00,892 --> 00:35:02,727 Ever since the arrest, all I know 723 00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:04,688 is I keep getting the master bedroom. 724 00:35:04,729 --> 00:35:07,357 Wait till you see the bathroom. We're all gonna be getting ready 725 00:35:07,399 --> 00:35:08,608 in here, high school style. -Oh, what? 726 00:35:08,650 --> 00:35:10,902 -Are you ready? -You guys... 727 00:35:10,944 --> 00:35:12,737 No, this is literally Barbie dream shower. 728 00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:16,074 I mean, maybe this is one area that's working out for me. 729 00:35:16,116 --> 00:35:17,951 Heather Gay, this is your room. 730 00:35:17,992 --> 00:35:19,411 Your gift is there. 731 00:35:19,452 --> 00:35:21,246 -Aw. -HEATHER: Can I open it? 732 00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:23,081 -Bring it to Meredith's room. -Okay. 733 00:35:23,123 --> 00:35:24,457 I hate--I never get presents. 734 00:35:24,499 --> 00:35:26,710 And yours is indoor/outdoor concept. 735 00:35:26,751 --> 00:35:28,169 -You have a patio. -MEREDITH: I love it. 736 00:35:28,211 --> 00:35:29,337 HEATHER: So can we open my gift? 737 00:35:29,379 --> 00:35:30,588 Yeah, open it. 738 00:35:30,630 --> 00:35:32,340 -Oh! -What?! 739 00:35:32,382 --> 00:35:33,466 LISA: What is it? 740 00:35:33,508 --> 00:35:36,636 "Be you, stay wild." I love this! 741 00:35:36,678 --> 00:35:38,596 -These are so cute, Whitney. -Yeah, matching pajamas 742 00:35:38,638 --> 00:35:40,265 with your little initials and some slippers. 743 00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:42,225 -How cute. -Look at that! I love it. 744 00:35:42,267 --> 00:35:44,019 Unpack. Get dressed. 745 00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:47,355 You can wear, like, a Boho chic dress, flowy dress. 746 00:35:47,397 --> 00:35:49,024 Just something you can sit comfortably in. 747 00:35:49,065 --> 00:35:52,110 Can I wear an oversize man's T-shirt and bobby socks? 748 00:35:52,152 --> 00:35:53,653 -Sure. Sure. -Okay. Let's go. 749 00:35:53,695 --> 00:35:55,405 -Yes. -[laughing] 750 00:35:55,447 --> 00:36:05,915 *** 751 00:36:05,957 --> 00:36:08,668 The energy when I walked in was weird, 752 00:36:08,710 --> 00:36:11,046 and I was surprised by Jen's reaction. 753 00:36:11,087 --> 00:36:12,505 She got really emotional 754 00:36:12,547 --> 00:36:14,132 when you said what the trip was for. 755 00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:16,676 Well, I mean it. I really hope that we can all, like, 756 00:36:16,718 --> 00:36:18,345 come together for her now. -Yeah. 757 00:36:18,386 --> 00:36:20,930 What is Lisa's expectations? 758 00:36:20,972 --> 00:36:22,515 Was she nervous about seeing Meredith? 759 00:36:22,557 --> 00:36:24,517 She's not nervous, no. 760 00:36:24,559 --> 00:36:26,728 She should be nervous. Why is she not nervous? 761 00:36:26,770 --> 00:36:28,730 WHITNEY: Well, she's being really vulnerable, 762 00:36:28,772 --> 00:36:30,982 and that's, I think, a good space to start. 763 00:36:31,024 --> 00:36:32,233 HEATHER: No, for sure. 764 00:36:32,275 --> 00:36:35,362 I just feel, like, icky, 'cause... 765 00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:37,614 I don't want to be put in the middle 766 00:36:37,655 --> 00:36:40,158 of Meredith and Lisa's fight. 767 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,620 You have Meredith, who's coming to me with rumors. 768 00:36:43,661 --> 00:36:45,789 Meredith has talked to you about rumors about Lisa? 769 00:36:45,830 --> 00:36:46,998 Mm-hmm. 770 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,375 I'm trying not to smile. 771 00:36:48,416 --> 00:36:49,876 [laughter] 772 00:36:49,918 --> 00:36:51,753 Why does that make you wanna smile? You didn't know? 773 00:36:51,795 --> 00:36:55,507 Because I can't believe that Meredith would ever... 774 00:36:55,548 --> 00:36:57,050 Has she not shared anything with you? 775 00:36:57,092 --> 00:36:58,385 HEATHER: Nothing. 776 00:36:58,426 --> 00:37:00,553 Oh, she fully came over to my house 777 00:37:00,595 --> 00:37:03,640 and brought up rumors about Lisa having-- 778 00:37:03,682 --> 00:37:06,810 -About what? -Um, like, affairs. 779 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,980 She only alluded to affairs and then-- 780 00:37:11,022 --> 00:37:12,941 -Multiple? -Yeah, but what Meredith 781 00:37:12,982 --> 00:37:16,111 has heard, out of Meredith's own mouth, 782 00:37:16,152 --> 00:37:19,030 that Lisa has performed sexual favors 783 00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:20,573 for the advancement... -[snickers] 784 00:37:21,783 --> 00:37:23,702 -Vida Tequila? -Yeah. 785 00:37:23,743 --> 00:37:25,662 So that people would take it, but... 786 00:37:25,704 --> 00:37:27,831 -Stop, stop, stop, stop. -I know. I know. 787 00:37:27,872 --> 00:37:29,708 And then she'd be like, "Isn't that absurd?" 788 00:37:29,749 --> 00:37:33,378 Who--who was she servicing? Vendors? 789 00:37:33,420 --> 00:37:36,214 Bartenders? Bar owners? 790 00:37:36,256 --> 00:37:37,632 I know it sounds absurd, Heather. 791 00:37:37,674 --> 00:37:39,884 -State liquor store officials? -However... 792 00:37:39,926 --> 00:37:43,430 Listen, my point now is now that I've heard Lisa out, 793 00:37:43,471 --> 00:37:46,141 and I feel like I've gotten to know her, 794 00:37:46,182 --> 00:37:49,185 I feel bad, 'cause I fully, like, participated. 795 00:37:49,227 --> 00:37:52,022 Because I've heard the same rumors about her, too. 796 00:37:52,063 --> 00:37:54,733 Part of me just wanted to, like, give her a heads up 797 00:37:54,774 --> 00:37:57,527 or, like, ask her about it. I don't know. 798 00:37:57,569 --> 00:38:00,071 I don't know what to do. Like, what do you do? 799 00:38:00,113 --> 00:38:03,074 Need I remind you that we are on a girls trip for Jen? 800 00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:05,535 And this is not the time to give Lisa 801 00:38:05,577 --> 00:38:07,454 a heads up about horrible rumors 802 00:38:07,495 --> 00:38:09,247 that Whitney may have heard. 803 00:38:09,289 --> 00:38:12,250 Hell, no. Don't say a word. 804 00:38:12,292 --> 00:38:15,920 I think our goal should be just to celebrate Jen, 805 00:38:15,962 --> 00:38:18,089 and we'll deal with that after this. 806 00:38:18,131 --> 00:38:20,592 *** 807 00:38:20,633 --> 00:38:22,177 Coming up... 808 00:38:22,218 --> 00:38:25,638 *** 809 00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:48,203 *** 810 00:38:52,874 --> 00:38:54,292 -Hi. -WHITNEY: Kisses and hugs. 811 00:38:54,334 --> 00:38:56,086 Nice to meet you in person. 812 00:38:56,127 --> 00:38:58,880 You look beautiful. And with the slippers? [laughs] 813 00:38:58,922 --> 00:39:01,758 I'm really excited to meet with the shaman 814 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,719 because I feel like now more than ever, 815 00:39:04,761 --> 00:39:07,972 I need to release this pain and this heaviness. 816 00:39:08,014 --> 00:39:10,725 And who better to do it with 817 00:39:10,767 --> 00:39:13,645 than this group of girls who are equally as ----ed up? 818 00:39:13,687 --> 00:39:14,938 Let's heal. 819 00:39:14,979 --> 00:39:16,564 So you wanna go ahead and start? 820 00:39:16,606 --> 00:39:18,149 -We have one more. -One more. 821 00:39:18,191 --> 00:39:20,527 -Una más. -WHITNEY: I want to get going. 822 00:39:20,568 --> 00:39:22,237 -Okay, let's go. -No, let's start. 823 00:39:22,278 --> 00:39:23,863 I'm saying, she'll join when she can. 824 00:39:23,905 --> 00:39:25,990 Meredith is late once again 825 00:39:26,032 --> 00:39:27,742 to one of my healing ceremonies. 826 00:39:27,784 --> 00:39:29,786 But this time, I'm starting without her. 827 00:39:29,828 --> 00:39:31,705 And there's a saying amongst healers 828 00:39:31,746 --> 00:39:33,248 and the universe-- 829 00:39:33,289 --> 00:39:36,292 "Those who need the most healing avoid healing." 830 00:39:36,334 --> 00:39:37,419 *** 831 00:39:37,460 --> 00:39:38,920 [cellphone rings] 832 00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:41,715 -[cellphone chimes] -Hi, honey. How are you? 833 00:39:41,756 --> 00:39:44,843 -Hey. Good. How are you? -I'm good. 834 00:39:44,884 --> 00:39:48,013 Have you seen Lisa yet? 835 00:39:48,054 --> 00:39:52,559 Well, I'm in a house with four other people, so, um, yeah. 836 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,103 Have you gone over where all the exit doors are? 837 00:39:57,772 --> 00:39:59,816 What's on the docket? 838 00:39:59,858 --> 00:40:02,193 We have a shaman coming. I'm not sure if that's, like, 839 00:40:02,235 --> 00:40:04,904 the right thing for me right now. 840 00:40:04,946 --> 00:40:06,823 I've worked with a shaman before, 841 00:40:06,865 --> 00:40:09,534 and it was an incredible experience, 842 00:40:09,576 --> 00:40:11,453 but really intense. 843 00:40:11,494 --> 00:40:14,289 And my current dynamic with Lisa 844 00:40:14,330 --> 00:40:17,417 definitely plays a big part in my hesitation 845 00:40:17,459 --> 00:40:19,294 to run outside. 846 00:40:19,336 --> 00:40:21,296 You know, you're opening your energy, 847 00:40:21,338 --> 00:40:23,840 and she's shown me that she's someone 848 00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:26,593 I should be protecting my energy from. 849 00:40:26,634 --> 00:40:30,221 All right, ladies, I am so excited 850 00:40:30,263 --> 00:40:32,140 to be guiding you in the ceremony tonight. 851 00:40:32,182 --> 00:40:37,854 I'm going to come around and pass out the cacao elixir. 852 00:40:37,896 --> 00:40:41,066 Cacao is a deep heart opening medicine. 853 00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:47,530 I thought it would taste different. 854 00:40:47,572 --> 00:40:49,282 -[laughter] -[coughs] 855 00:40:49,324 --> 00:40:50,867 WHITNEY: It's not hot cocoa. [laughs] 856 00:40:50,909 --> 00:40:53,536 I would like to release the flavor in my mouth. 857 00:40:53,578 --> 00:40:54,621 [laughter] 858 00:40:54,662 --> 00:40:56,206 Is it weird that I like it? 859 00:40:56,247 --> 00:40:57,499 Yes. 860 00:40:57,540 --> 00:40:59,751 I love chocolate, so why wouldn't I love cacao? 861 00:40:59,793 --> 00:41:01,127 It's earthy. 862 00:41:01,169 --> 00:41:02,462 I'm boring. I've never done a drug in my life. 863 00:41:02,504 --> 00:41:05,006 I've never even smoked weed. I barely take Advil. 864 00:41:05,048 --> 00:41:07,759 Like, I had my augmentation with nothing. 865 00:41:07,801 --> 00:41:10,720 I, like, went and got a Diet Coke after. 866 00:41:10,762 --> 00:41:14,349 What we're going to do is set an intention to release. 867 00:41:14,391 --> 00:41:17,435 It can be something very small. It can be something very big. 868 00:41:17,477 --> 00:41:20,021 Once we let go of that pain, we create all this space 869 00:41:20,063 --> 00:41:22,607 to call in whatever we truly want, 870 00:41:22,649 --> 00:41:24,818 literally our life's desires. 871 00:41:24,859 --> 00:41:26,820 We'll start with Whitney. 872 00:41:26,861 --> 00:41:29,030 Go ahead and share what it is you're releasing. 873 00:41:29,072 --> 00:41:35,912 I'm letting go of past trauma, past hurt. 874 00:41:35,954 --> 00:41:37,372 KSENIYA: And what are you calling in? 875 00:41:37,414 --> 00:41:40,041 I'm calling in Oneness. 876 00:41:40,083 --> 00:41:43,044 We'll seal that intention for Whitney. 877 00:41:45,046 --> 00:41:50,301 I am releasing shame of not making my family proud, 878 00:41:50,343 --> 00:41:55,807 and I want to call in love and understanding. 879 00:41:55,849 --> 00:42:02,564 *** 880 00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:06,526 I'm releasing the fear of going to trial in 30 days. 881 00:42:06,568 --> 00:42:09,779 [voice breaking] I'm calling in... 882 00:42:09,821 --> 00:42:12,157 [sniffles] my innocence 883 00:42:12,198 --> 00:42:15,994 and to just show my family that I love them 884 00:42:16,036 --> 00:42:18,621 every single second of every day. 885 00:42:18,663 --> 00:42:24,919 *** 886 00:42:24,961 --> 00:42:26,379 KSENIYA: Lisa? 887 00:42:26,421 --> 00:42:29,257 I-I suck at this. 888 00:42:29,299 --> 00:42:33,887 I'm releasing hurt... [voice breaking] and sadness. 889 00:42:33,928 --> 00:42:38,808 And I'm calling in love, support...and kindness. 890 00:42:38,850 --> 00:42:42,896 *** 891 00:42:42,937 --> 00:42:44,814 Go ahead and close your eyes 892 00:42:44,856 --> 00:42:46,983 and hold that cacao to your heart. 893 00:42:47,025 --> 00:42:49,402 As the cacao starts working through our system, 894 00:42:49,444 --> 00:42:51,738 we're gonna go ahead and start with the breath. 895 00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:55,867 So I will tell you a little bit about the breath work. 896 00:42:55,909 --> 00:42:58,119 There can be...Hello. 897 00:42:58,161 --> 00:42:59,746 -Hello. -Welcome. 898 00:42:59,788 --> 00:43:00,747 -Hi. -Hi. 899 00:43:00,789 --> 00:43:03,917 *** 900 00:43:03,958 --> 00:43:05,418 Go ahead and have a seat. 901 00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:08,129 *** 902 00:43:08,171 --> 00:43:12,175 When you arrive late, you don't get to pick where you sit, 903 00:43:12,217 --> 00:43:16,012 and now Meredith has to sit next to Lisa. 904 00:43:16,054 --> 00:43:18,515 For the lady that joined us a little bit late, 905 00:43:18,556 --> 00:43:20,767 did you have something that you want to release 906 00:43:20,809 --> 00:43:22,268 that you want to share with the group? 907 00:43:22,310 --> 00:43:23,687 Um... 908 00:43:23,728 --> 00:43:26,856 It could be a specific person, situation, relationship, 909 00:43:26,898 --> 00:43:29,859 anything. 910 00:43:29,901 --> 00:43:33,238 I'm--I'm not ready to share right now. 911 00:43:33,279 --> 00:43:36,700 KSENIYA: Okay. Okay. No problem. 912 00:43:36,741 --> 00:43:39,828 *** 913 00:43:39,869 --> 00:43:43,123 All right, ladies, go ahead 914 00:43:43,164 --> 00:43:44,499 and use the cushion that you're sitting on. 915 00:43:44,541 --> 00:43:47,502 Flip it and go ahead and lie down. 916 00:43:47,544 --> 00:43:50,839 We're all gonna start the breath together. 917 00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,341 [inhaling and exhaling deeply] 918 00:43:53,383 --> 00:43:55,719 Good, remembering what it is you're releasing, 919 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:56,886 what it is you're letting go of. 920 00:43:56,928 --> 00:43:58,138 [exhales deeply] 921 00:43:58,179 --> 00:44:02,058 You are not what happened to you. 922 00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,728 That doesn't define you. 923 00:44:04,769 --> 00:44:06,354 Let the tears come. 924 00:44:06,396 --> 00:44:08,189 You don't have to hold it back. 925 00:44:08,231 --> 00:44:10,608 I'm right here with you. I know it's scary. 926 00:44:10,650 --> 00:44:12,569 My eyes are closed, and I'm just seeing 927 00:44:12,610 --> 00:44:15,780 the people that I love most in my life. 928 00:44:15,822 --> 00:44:17,323 Coach is so strong. 929 00:44:17,365 --> 00:44:18,950 He's, like, my biggest cheerleader, 930 00:44:18,992 --> 00:44:22,370 but it's hard for him. 931 00:44:22,412 --> 00:44:25,999 Just like I'm sure-- I know it's hard for my boys. 932 00:44:28,752 --> 00:44:30,670 -[exhales deeply] -Good. 933 00:44:30,712 --> 00:44:33,923 Omar wondering if I'm gonna be at his football games 934 00:44:33,965 --> 00:44:36,176 or Rieffy wondering if I'm going to be 935 00:44:36,217 --> 00:44:39,512 at his white coat ceremony in medical school. 936 00:44:39,554 --> 00:44:44,642 It's just stuff we don't talk about, but... 937 00:44:44,684 --> 00:44:47,354 that's just the reality of my-- of the situation right now. 938 00:44:49,189 --> 00:44:50,648 KSENIYA: You're so worthy of love, 939 00:44:50,690 --> 00:44:54,903 unwinding yourself from all those stories. 940 00:44:54,944 --> 00:44:58,573 They're not yours to carry. 941 00:44:58,615 --> 00:45:01,284 It's okay. Let it come up for release. 942 00:45:01,326 --> 00:45:02,827 -[exhales deeply] -Good. 943 00:45:02,869 --> 00:45:04,537 What I was expecting to release 944 00:45:04,579 --> 00:45:07,707 was the hurt and sadness I felt with my friends. 945 00:45:07,749 --> 00:45:11,544 KSENIYA: Lots coming up for you over here. 946 00:45:11,586 --> 00:45:15,256 What I ended up releasing was something totally different. 947 00:45:15,298 --> 00:45:17,175 It wasn't what I was expecting. 948 00:45:21,596 --> 00:45:24,140 Abandonment. 949 00:45:24,182 --> 00:45:26,893 KSENIYA: Big releases coming for you. 950 00:45:26,935 --> 00:45:29,729 Big shifts coming for you. 951 00:45:29,771 --> 00:45:33,108 You're ready to let it go. I know you are. I feel it. 952 00:45:33,149 --> 00:45:36,194 The only memory that kept coming to my mind 953 00:45:36,236 --> 00:45:38,321 was me as a little girl. 954 00:45:41,241 --> 00:45:43,702 We were in this play area, and there was a slide, 955 00:45:43,743 --> 00:45:46,162 and I kept going up and down the slide, and my dad said, 956 00:45:46,204 --> 00:45:48,456 "Last time. We're done. We're leaving." 957 00:45:48,498 --> 00:45:50,583 And I waited till they walked ahead of me, 958 00:45:50,625 --> 00:45:53,503 and then I turned around and went right back to the slide. 959 00:45:53,545 --> 00:45:57,590 After about 20 times going down the slide with these other kids, 960 00:45:57,632 --> 00:46:00,176 I went up to the desk and told the lady, 961 00:46:00,218 --> 00:46:02,429 like, "Hey, I don't know where my mom and dad are." 962 00:46:02,470 --> 00:46:05,015 That's the only thought that kept going through my head 963 00:46:05,056 --> 00:46:09,102 is I'm, like, "Oh, my God, you didn't even notice I was gone." 964 00:46:09,144 --> 00:46:10,937 Beautiful, ladies. 965 00:46:10,979 --> 00:46:13,064 Really good releases. 966 00:46:13,106 --> 00:46:15,233 Really good releases. Stay with it. 967 00:46:15,275 --> 00:46:17,110 Give yourself this gift. 968 00:46:17,152 --> 00:46:20,238 As I'm going through all of this, 969 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,158 the truth is, I'm being brought to where I was last year. 970 00:46:24,659 --> 00:46:27,287 Dealing with my father, dealing with my nephew... 971 00:46:27,328 --> 00:46:29,581 I have a nephew with mental health issues. 972 00:46:29,622 --> 00:46:33,543 ...and the treatment I received over it 973 00:46:33,585 --> 00:46:35,170 and the pain. 974 00:46:38,381 --> 00:46:40,967 We're building up for a big release here, ladies, okay? 975 00:46:41,009 --> 00:46:42,469 So build up that breath. 976 00:46:42,510 --> 00:46:45,055 Okay, everything we've been holding in, 977 00:46:45,096 --> 00:46:47,515 we're about to let it go with a big yell. 978 00:46:47,557 --> 00:46:52,187 I did not pack a Costco-size box of Kleenex 979 00:46:52,228 --> 00:46:55,273 'cause I did not anticipate this many tears. 980 00:46:55,315 --> 00:46:57,484 This is night one. 981 00:46:57,525 --> 00:46:58,485 KSENIYA: On the count of three, 982 00:46:58,526 --> 00:47:01,654 one, two, three. Out with a yell. 983 00:47:01,696 --> 00:47:07,660 [all yelling] 984 00:47:07,702 --> 00:47:08,953 [laughter] 985 00:47:08,995 --> 00:47:12,332 Good. Powerful work, everyone. 986 00:47:12,374 --> 00:47:14,459 So I'm gonna go ahead and give a round of applause 987 00:47:14,501 --> 00:47:16,419 to all of you for being so brave. 988 00:47:16,461 --> 00:47:18,463 The whole point of this experience with the shaman 989 00:47:18,505 --> 00:47:21,508 is to be vulnerable and to be open 990 00:47:21,549 --> 00:47:23,885 and to work through something hard. 991 00:47:23,927 --> 00:47:25,512 What I got from that experience 992 00:47:25,553 --> 00:47:27,931 is that I'm gonna need my friends to lean on 993 00:47:27,972 --> 00:47:30,934 and help me get through this. I can't do this alone. 994 00:47:30,975 --> 00:47:32,977 KSENIYA: How are we feeling? 995 00:47:33,019 --> 00:47:36,523 My body was, like, numb and tingly. 996 00:47:36,564 --> 00:47:41,403 And I fed off of, like-- I could feel everyone's energy, 997 00:47:41,444 --> 00:47:44,406 and it helped push me a little bit farther to release more. 998 00:47:44,447 --> 00:47:46,866 And how about you, love? What was that like for you? 999 00:47:46,908 --> 00:47:48,702 It was intense, 1000 00:47:48,743 --> 00:47:51,538 and it's not my first time working with a shaman. 1001 00:47:51,579 --> 00:47:53,707 And so I apologize to all of you 1002 00:47:53,748 --> 00:47:57,293 for not getting here in a timely fashion. 1003 00:47:57,335 --> 00:48:00,588 But I had some anxiety about it, to be quite honest. 1004 00:48:00,630 --> 00:48:03,675 It stems from me not feeling very safe. 1005 00:48:03,717 --> 00:48:07,429 Do you feel that way, like, right now? 1006 00:48:07,470 --> 00:48:08,888 Like, after this whole experience, 1007 00:48:08,930 --> 00:48:10,223 do you feel any safer? 1008 00:48:10,265 --> 00:48:13,893 I'm very much triggered by our last trip 1009 00:48:13,935 --> 00:48:18,231 and--and having my father's death weaponized against me. 1010 00:48:18,273 --> 00:48:22,277 And now I'm here with the same group 1011 00:48:22,318 --> 00:48:24,946 a few days after the anniversary of losing him, 1012 00:48:24,988 --> 00:48:26,906 and it's a lot for me. 1013 00:48:26,948 --> 00:48:29,743 Well, I used to feel like I was a safe space for you, 1014 00:48:29,784 --> 00:48:32,245 And I'm sorry. -You are not a safe space, Lisa. 1015 00:48:32,287 --> 00:48:34,164 I know. I said--I said I... 1016 00:48:34,205 --> 00:48:37,751 Never mind. I won't say another...word. 1017 00:48:37,792 --> 00:48:41,880 *** 1018 00:48:41,921 --> 00:48:43,882 Bye. 1019 00:48:43,923 --> 00:48:49,804 *** 1020 00:48:49,846 --> 00:48:52,265 I'm not gonna lie. 1021 00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:02,817 *** 1022 00:49:07,447 --> 00:49:08,990 What did Lisa say to you first? 1023 00:49:09,032 --> 00:49:11,701 She said she used to think she was a safe space for me, 1024 00:49:11,743 --> 00:49:13,161 and I said, "You are not a safe space." 1025 00:49:13,203 --> 00:49:15,830 I'm not gonna lie. 1026 00:49:15,872 --> 00:49:17,248 [scoffs] 1027 00:49:17,290 --> 00:49:20,835 *** 1028 00:49:20,877 --> 00:49:22,671 I'm gonna go grab Lisa. I'm just gonna see 1029 00:49:22,712 --> 00:49:24,381 if I can convince her to come back. 1030 00:49:24,422 --> 00:49:26,633 My legs are asleep. 1031 00:49:26,675 --> 00:49:28,843 [laughter] 1032 00:49:28,885 --> 00:49:31,596 Meredith, I'm here to work through things with you 1033 00:49:31,638 --> 00:49:33,890 and give you support for whatever you need to, 1034 00:49:33,932 --> 00:49:38,228 'cause I know how painful and hurtful it is. 1035 00:49:39,187 --> 00:49:41,481 Hey, are you okay? 1036 00:49:44,859 --> 00:49:47,445 -No, it's okay, listen. -Yeah. 1037 00:49:51,574 --> 00:49:53,493 No, no, I just had to-- I needed a break. 1038 00:49:53,535 --> 00:49:57,205 I know. I know. But now you're coming back. 1039 00:49:57,247 --> 00:49:58,873 Right now I know you ladies 1040 00:49:58,915 --> 00:50:02,210 are probably starving, so maybe at dinnertime, 1041 00:50:02,252 --> 00:50:04,295 this could be a lovely segue 1042 00:50:04,337 --> 00:50:06,256 to keep these conversations flowing. 1043 00:50:06,297 --> 00:50:08,675 -You know what I mean? -Yeah, I know. 1044 00:50:08,717 --> 00:50:09,843 -I'm fine sitting in it. -I know. I know. 1045 00:50:09,884 --> 00:50:11,594 -I needed to get up. -I'm glad you did 1046 00:50:11,636 --> 00:50:14,639 in that moment, 'cause it started to turn. 1047 00:50:14,681 --> 00:50:17,392 HEATHER: Come on. They're already at dinner. Let's go. 1048 00:50:17,434 --> 00:50:22,063 *** 1049 00:50:22,105 --> 00:50:24,357 Ooh, wow. Thank you. 1050 00:50:24,399 --> 00:50:27,485 This is, like, a Caprese salad, and then we have 1051 00:50:27,527 --> 00:50:28,445 the charcuterie board over there. 1052 00:50:28,486 --> 00:50:30,113 Ooh, I am starving. 1053 00:50:30,155 --> 00:50:32,532 I don't know about you, but emotional breathing 1054 00:50:32,574 --> 00:50:34,909 takes a lot out of me. [chuckles] 1055 00:50:34,951 --> 00:50:36,453 Thanks for putting that together, Whitney. 1056 00:50:36,494 --> 00:50:37,871 -That was awesome. -Thank you. 1057 00:50:37,912 --> 00:50:39,873 Yeah, thank you for participating. 1058 00:50:39,914 --> 00:50:42,000 -You're welcome. -Feels good to come together. 1059 00:50:43,793 --> 00:50:48,757 What did everybody set as their thing to release? 1060 00:50:50,216 --> 00:50:52,427 HEATHER: You want to start? 1061 00:50:52,469 --> 00:50:57,349 Um, I wanted to be able to release 1062 00:50:57,390 --> 00:50:59,726 the fear of going to trial in a month. 1063 00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:00,852 Mm-hmm. 1064 00:51:00,894 --> 00:51:02,354 The other day, I had, like, a little bit 1065 00:51:02,395 --> 00:51:04,314 of a breakdown because, you know, 1066 00:51:04,356 --> 00:51:06,983 I get new information, right? 1067 00:51:07,025 --> 00:51:08,735 From the attorneys saying, 1068 00:51:08,777 --> 00:51:10,111 "Oh, there's a new discovery." 1069 00:51:10,153 --> 00:51:11,571 And I got in the car. 1070 00:51:11,613 --> 00:51:12,989 It was, like, 3 in the morning, 1071 00:51:13,031 --> 00:51:15,492 and I drove down to my dad's grave. 1072 00:51:15,533 --> 00:51:17,327 MEREDITH: Aw. 1073 00:51:17,369 --> 00:51:20,205 [sobs] It just... [sniffles] 1074 00:51:20,246 --> 00:51:22,874 So, Coach is, like, "Um, hello, where are you?" 1075 00:51:22,916 --> 00:51:27,045 -And then I blocked him. -[laughter] 1076 00:51:27,087 --> 00:51:28,630 He did nothing wrong, 1077 00:51:28,672 --> 00:51:31,508 but, you know, I was just having a moment. 1078 00:51:33,051 --> 00:51:37,138 Every time the phone rings, I don't know what I'm gonna hear 1079 00:51:37,180 --> 00:51:38,348 on the other end of the phone. 1080 00:51:38,390 --> 00:51:40,558 What is the new accusation? 1081 00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,728 What is the new motion that needs to be filed? 1082 00:51:43,770 --> 00:51:47,816 I am on edge 100% of the time. 1083 00:51:47,857 --> 00:51:50,652 I think we all kind of saw at Coach Shah's party 1084 00:51:50,694 --> 00:51:51,861 how much love... -LISA: It was amazing. 1085 00:51:51,903 --> 00:51:53,405 ...and support. 1086 00:51:53,446 --> 00:51:55,740 That felt really good to me as your friend 1087 00:51:55,782 --> 00:51:59,160 to see, you know, the family show up, celebrate Sharrieff, 1088 00:51:59,202 --> 00:52:01,454 celebrate you. 1089 00:52:12,298 --> 00:52:13,675 I've been on this healing journey 1090 00:52:13,717 --> 00:52:18,054 for, honestly, probably a year now. 1091 00:52:18,096 --> 00:52:20,515 [sighs] A lot of--I have... 1092 00:52:20,557 --> 00:52:23,727 My childhood is blocked from, like, 9 to 17. 1093 00:52:23,768 --> 00:52:27,063 And as I'm doing all this work, 1094 00:52:27,105 --> 00:52:29,816 like, memories are coming up, and... 1095 00:52:32,068 --> 00:52:35,822 I was in a very abusive situation. 1096 00:52:35,864 --> 00:52:40,035 But I, like, stuffed it so deep that I blocked all memory of it. 1097 00:52:40,076 --> 00:52:46,374 *** 1098 00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:47,959 Physically abusive? 1099 00:52:49,961 --> 00:52:51,796 You? 1100 00:52:51,838 --> 00:52:53,882 Yeah. 1101 00:52:53,923 --> 00:53:05,393 *** 1102 00:53:05,435 --> 00:53:09,356 Next time on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City"... 1103 00:53:09,397 --> 00:53:11,900 All aboard the Jen Shah Express! 1104 00:53:11,941 --> 00:53:16,071 [cheering] 1105 00:53:16,112 --> 00:53:17,739 [Spanish guitar riff] 1106 00:53:17,781 --> 00:53:19,449 Are we supposed to clap 1107 00:53:19,491 --> 00:53:21,326 or just, like, respect and be quiet? 1108 00:53:21,368 --> 00:53:22,577 -I think just respect. -Okay. 1109 00:53:22,619 --> 00:53:23,828 [whinnies] 1110 00:53:23,870 --> 00:53:26,039 Are you just gonna move on with Lisa? 1111 00:53:26,081 --> 00:53:28,833 I'm not willing to open myself up 1112 00:53:28,875 --> 00:53:31,127 to somebody who's just gonna stab me in the heart. 1113 00:53:31,169 --> 00:53:33,963 Stop being a condescending, superior bitch. 1114 00:53:36,049 --> 00:53:40,345 I have talked with Meredith about rumors about you. 1115 00:53:40,387 --> 00:53:44,224 Does this feel ----ing good? Like, ----ing hurt me more. 1116 00:53:44,265 --> 00:53:45,809 I didn't know. I didn't know. 1117 00:53:45,850 --> 00:53:47,936 I have told you everything, Heather. 1118 00:53:47,977 --> 00:53:50,397 We were at the Jazz game with Angie, and she goes, 1119 00:53:50,438 --> 00:53:54,401 "That's who Lisa sleeps with for the Jazz tickets." 1120 00:53:54,442 --> 00:53:55,902 -Wait, what? -Well, guess what? 1121 00:53:55,944 --> 00:53:58,238 I didn't hear that ----ing nugget! 1122 00:53:58,279 --> 00:53:59,572 You are lying right now. 1123 00:53:59,614 --> 00:54:02,992 [bleep] you for calling me a ----ing liar! 1124 00:54:03,034 --> 00:54:06,663 [bleep] you!