1 00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,450 Well, as you can see in this brochure, 2 00:00:07,650 --> 00:00:09,520 there are a lot of benefits. 3 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,320 Samantha, we must speak to you right away. 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:12,790 She is with a guest, 5 00:00:12,990 --> 00:00:14,690 trying to sucker him into joining something called 6 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:17,860 the "Woodstone Rewards Program." 7 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,300 If you sign up now, 8 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:20,970 you can start earning rewards during this stay. 9 00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:22,170 We found Crash's head. 10 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,200 Hiya, Toots. 11 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,690 Oh, my God! 12 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:30,280 Are we really offering double points on weekdays? 13 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:31,680 Yes, we are. 14 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,710 Is actually very good deal. 15 00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,900 * * 16 00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:41,590 SAMANTHA: Big morning. Not only did we find Crash's head, but... 17 00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:43,220 guess what, Pete? There's a new Martino Family newsletter. 18 00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,060 Pete's in here? 19 00:00:45,260 --> 00:00:46,290 Yeah, he, Sass, Flower, 20 00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:47,590 and Trevor are watching you work. 21 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:48,890 SASAPPIS: If you're sensing any awkwardness, 22 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,760 Jay very loudly passed gas a few minutes ago. 23 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,370 Did they just get in here? It doesn't matter. 24 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:55,470 Okay, well, I'm on the edge of my seat. 25 00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:56,740 Let's hear that newsletter. 26 00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:58,200 Okay. Jay, you want to do the honors? 27 00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,770 Yeah, sure. 28 00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:01,710 Uh, "Dear family and friends, big news to announce. 29 00:01:01,910 --> 00:01:04,110 Laura and Brian are getting married." 30 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:05,440 My daughter's getting married? 31 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,450 This is amazing. 32 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,010 Congratulations, Pete. 33 00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:09,420 (grunts) (Jay laughs) 34 00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:11,050 Ha-ha! Did he high-five me? Uh, no. 35 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:13,050 Your hand actually just went through Trevor's face. 36 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:15,590 Oh, I'm sorry, but it serves you right for trying 37 00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:16,890 to have sex with my sister. 38 00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:18,660 So, what's Pete saying? 39 00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:19,890 Well, I'm excited, obviously. 40 00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:21,560 I mean, from the newsletters, Brian seems 41 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,600 like a good guy. I just wish I could be there. 42 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,700 Man, being dead is rough. 43 00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:29,740 (chuckles) Yeah. They never tell you about all the downsides. 44 00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:31,170 Pete's sad that he can't be there. 45 00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:32,570 JAY: Yeah, it does sound nice. 46 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:34,010 It's a ceremony on the deck 47 00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:35,240 at Carol and Jerry's house. 48 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,640 My old house. I built that deck. 49 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,310 (gasps) Sam, why don't we see 50 00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:40,880 if they want to have the wedding here? 51 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,380 That's a great idea. 52 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,720 Pete wants us to convince Laura to have the wedding here 53 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,290 at the mansion so that he can attend. 54 00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:48,920 Well, I love the thought, but I do see a few challenges. 55 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,860 For one, they already have something planned. 56 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,830 And two, do we really think that Laura would want 57 00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:55,290 to get married 50 feet from where her dad bled out? 58 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,000 It was actually a very clean wound, very little blood. 59 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,930 Still gave me nightmares for a few weeks, though. 60 00:02:01,130 --> 00:02:02,600 Sounds like that was hard for you. 61 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,800 What if we offer it to them for free? 62 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,040 We say we're trying to establish ourselves 63 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:09,940 as a wedding venue, 64 00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:12,780 and we just want pictures for our website. 65 00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:14,650 Sam, please. This would mean so much to me. 66 00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:17,150 It's my daughter. I just want to see her get married. 67 00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:19,220 Okay, I'll try. 68 00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:20,950 Yes! Thank you. (chuckles) 69 00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:23,160 Oh, what is that smell? 70 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,190 Oh, did, uh, did Isaac just 71 00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:27,990 walk through one of us? Yeah. 72 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,330 Isaac's not in here, Jay. 73 00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:31,160 My tummy hurts. 74 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,830 CRASH: Oh, yeah, 75 00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:36,030 feels good to be reunited with the ol' bod. 76 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,670 Everything is copasetic now. 77 00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:40,970 Okay, so continue. Where did you find Crash's head? 78 00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:43,340 We were in an unfamiliar part of the woods 79 00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:46,710 when I heard a voice cry out from within a hollow tree stump, 80 00:02:46,910 --> 00:02:48,750 "Yo, skirt, look over here." 81 00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:51,550 That was me, for any of yous who were not following. 82 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,290 But how did you come to be in this tree stump? 83 00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:56,090 Was your head dislodged by a powerful sneeze, perhaps? 84 00:02:56,290 --> 00:02:57,120 No. 85 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,090 Somebody tossed me in there. 86 00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:00,660 (others gasp) 87 00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:01,490 But who? 88 00:03:01,690 --> 00:03:02,760 Who would do that? 89 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:03,960 CRASH: See, that's the thing, 90 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,400 I don't know. 91 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,000 (all gasp) 92 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,400 I was sitting alone one night, watching the boob tube, 93 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,800 when all of a sudden, 94 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,310 someone grabbed my head from behind. 95 00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:16,540 I was like, "Hey, what's the big idea?" 96 00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,180 I couldn't see who it was, 97 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:20,050 on account of they had me by the back of my 'do. 98 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:21,710 They carried me out to the woods, 99 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,580 and threw me in that tree stump. 100 00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:25,550 That was a year ago. 101 00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:28,200 So this was no accident. 102 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:31,260 A crime has been committed. 103 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:34,160 A headnapper is on the loose. 104 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,400 And I will not rest until 105 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,930 I bring him or her to justice. 106 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:40,300 And I'm gonna help 107 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:41,870 because Game of Thrones is over, 108 00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:44,570 and Momoa is not in the spinoff. 109 00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:48,410 Everyone in this house is now a suspect. 110 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:50,580 And until this matter is resolved, 111 00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:52,210 I must insist that no one leave the property. 112 00:03:52,410 --> 00:03:53,450 We can't leave property. 113 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,550 Thank you for your cooperation. 114 00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,950 Okay, Carol, I understand. 115 00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:01,890 Well, call us if you change your mind. 116 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:04,290 Sorry, Pete, it's a no-go. You just gave up. 117 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:05,720 What was I supposed to do? 118 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,660 I offered her a free venue, at-cost catering, 119 00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:10,730 triple Woodstone Rewards points for their stay. 120 00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:14,200 When stick not work, is time to try carrot. 121 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,470 TREVOR: I think you have that backwards, big guy. 122 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,340 Nope. Thor is correct. 123 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:21,470 First, offer ceremonial stick of peace. 124 00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,140 If enemy does not accept, 125 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:24,940 you stab in eye with frozen carrot. (laughs) 126 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,780 So, you're saying we should threaten Carol 127 00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:29,080 to get the wedding here? 128 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,750 These silences, man. Things escalate 129 00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:32,290 very quickly in these silences. 130 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:34,350 There is one thing we could use against Carol. 131 00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:35,620 I've never told anyone this, 132 00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:37,590 so please don't judge me. 133 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:39,390 (sighs) I thought I'd take this to my grave, 134 00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:40,690 which I guess I sort of did. (laughs) 135 00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:42,230 TREVOR: Just say it, Pete. 136 00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:43,430 PETE: Okay, here goes. 137 00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,100 My deepest shame: 138 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,170 The deck they're planning to get married on, 139 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,130 the one that I built, 140 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,500 it's unpermitted. 141 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,070 That's it? 142 00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:53,840 Pete's saying the deck he built wasn't permitted. 143 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,710 That doesn't sound like a shortcut 144 00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:57,210 my guy Pete would take. 145 00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:59,280 I know, but it was so close to grilling season, 146 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,410 and the permit office was backed up. (groans) 147 00:05:01,610 --> 00:05:03,620 I guess I just kind of went a little kook-a-luka. 148 00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:05,320 Kook-a-luka? 149 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,520 (mouths): Kook-a-luka? PETE: You know, means crazy, haywire. 150 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,560 It's an expression. No, it's not. 151 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,620 Okay, so the deck is unpermitted. 152 00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,190 What do we do with that information, Pete? 153 00:05:13,390 --> 00:05:14,490 We unleash the fury 154 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,400 of the Ulster County zoning board. 155 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,900 These small towns, 156 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,470 we don't have much in the way of regular crimes. 157 00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:21,900 An unpermitted deck in Ulster County is like 158 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,000 a triple homicide in San Francisco. 159 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,240 Okay, 160 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,010 then let's report a triple homicide. 161 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:29,610 Okay, I'm gonna need some more frequent updates. 162 00:05:29,810 --> 00:05:31,180 This every minute or so, it's not working for me. 163 00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,910 Look, we're gonna anonymously report 164 00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:34,650 Carol and Jerry for the deck, 165 00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:37,320 leaving them suddenly in need of a last-second wedding venue. 166 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,950 Carol rejects stick, 167 00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:41,600 so now, she suffer carrot. 168 00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:48,960 PETE: Carol and my grandson are here. 169 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,260 The anonymous tip worked. We got the deck condemned. 170 00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:52,400 Oh, no, I'm so sorry, Carol. 171 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,330 I know exactly who it was. 172 00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,130 Jennifer Dobson from down the street. 173 00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:57,470 I ran into her at the Cracker Barrel, 174 00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:58,600 and she made some remark about 175 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,410 not being invited to the wedding. 176 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,510 I just can't believe she would do something like this. 177 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:05,910 Mm, and yet she did. Obviously, it was her. 178 00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:08,080 Uh, but, you know what, the important thing is, 179 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,650 your daughter Laura is gonna have 180 00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:11,320 a beautiful wedding here. 181 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,420 All because of an illegal deck. (laughs) 182 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:14,820 I guess crime does pay. 183 00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:16,020 Ah, it's not a great lesson. 184 00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:17,320 Don't repeat that for the kid. 185 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,260 Where were you on the night of the incident? 186 00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:22,900 Here in the mansion that I'm stuck in 187 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,200 for all of eternity. 188 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,200 Care to be more specific, tough guy? 189 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,570 Do you have an alibi? 190 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:29,940 I don't remember. It was a year ago. 191 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,370 Do you guys remember what you were doing a year ago? 192 00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:35,170 Very interesting. No alibi. 193 00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:37,340 I am not responsible, 194 00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:39,780 which I would think would be obvious. 195 00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:41,050 What do you mean by that? 196 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:42,980 If I wanted to dispose of Crash's head, 197 00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:45,880 I certainly wouldn't have tossed it into the woods. 198 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,720 No. 199 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,820 I would have waited for a moonless night 200 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:52,120 and dropped it into the inky waters of the old well 201 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,280 on the other side of the property. 202 00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:57,260 If I had done it, 203 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,450 no one would have ever found him. 204 00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:02,470 We've reached a dead end. 205 00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:04,800 Is there anything else you remember? Anything at all. 206 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,470 Maybe someone you were beefing with? 207 00:07:06,670 --> 00:07:08,710 Someone who may have wanted to get you out of the way? 208 00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:11,810 That's a big no, daddy-o. Everybody loves the Crash. 209 00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:14,880 (sighs) Come now, you've never had an issue with anybody? 210 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,450 Sass? Thor? Flower? 211 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:18,880 Definitely not Flower. 212 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,020 Before I got stumped, we was making it. 213 00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:23,090 Necking like nobody's business. 214 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:24,490 ISAAC: Necking? 215 00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,320 In your condition? That seems a bit risky. 216 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,600 It means kissing. I... know that. 217 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,000 I wish I could be a bigger help. 218 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,970 So, very interesting. 219 00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:36,230 An illicit affair with Flower. 220 00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:38,140 Who would be enraged by such an affair? 221 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:41,010 Enraged to the point of skull thievery? 222 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,540 Thor. 223 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:46,240 Grandma, can I read my book in the kitchen? 224 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,950 If it's okay with them. 225 00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:49,210 Aw, my scout manual. 226 00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:51,320 Is that Pete's manual that we found here? 227 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,150 He's obsessed with it. 228 00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:54,450 Better than drugs, I guess. 229 00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:57,370 (laughs) Uh, knock yourself out, little man. 230 00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:00,690 Laura's on a work Zoom. 231 00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:02,260 Women today. 232 00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:05,160 They think they can have it all, but she's not here, is she? 233 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,230 Mm, sing it, sister. 234 00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:08,300 I'm excited to get into the details 235 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,400 about the wedding, though. 236 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,540 Huh, kind of thought my daughter 237 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,770 would be here to do this with me, 238 00:08:11,970 --> 00:08:13,110 not just the woman who cheated on me 239 00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:14,610 with my best friend, but sure. 240 00:08:14,810 --> 00:08:16,410 Let's plan a wedding. (chuckles) CAROL: For color scheme, 241 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,010 I was thinking orange. 242 00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:19,550 PETE: What? No, it's a, it's a spring wedding. 243 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,680 Let's go white, let's go periwinkle. 244 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,750 Uh, what about, like, white and periwinkle? 245 00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:25,650 Really play up the spring wedding theme. 246 00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:29,450 No, Jerry went to Syracuse. We really love orange. 247 00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:32,060 Luckily, we're not asking Jerry. 248 00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:33,190 Uh, we were just thinking because 249 00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:35,530 we provided the venue for free... 250 00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:36,900 Yeah, we're gonna go with orange. 251 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,400 Okay, whatever, fine. Let's talk music. 252 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,430 So, let's talk music. 253 00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:42,500 In addition to catering, 254 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,470 Jay has also offered to DJ. 255 00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:47,210 (laughs) Please call me DJJ. 256 00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:49,510 DJ Squared is also catching on. 257 00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:51,840 (imitates air horn) Wikki-wikki. 258 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,350 (laughter) 259 00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,950 So, any must-haves you want to hear at the wedding? 260 00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:58,450 "Dancing Queen." Uh, what about "Dancing Queen"? 261 00:08:58,650 --> 00:09:00,220 ABBA's not my cup of tea. 262 00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:01,620 Are you kidding me? 263 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,390 It's a universal call to the dance floor. 264 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:05,260 But anything else is fine. 265 00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:06,730 Wow, Pete, if you hadn't pushed it, 266 00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:08,490 they could've slipped it in no problem, 267 00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:11,100 but now it's literally the only song they can't play. 268 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,700 Cheese and rice. 269 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,800 Okay, look, the only thing I really care about 270 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,540 is that there are lilies at the wedding. 271 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:19,070 In terms of flower arrangements... 272 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:21,340 Yes, we're going with roses. They're my favorite. 273 00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:22,840 SAMANTHA: I hear you. They're beautiful, 274 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,810 but let me put this in your ear-- lilies. 275 00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:28,480 My cat died from eating a lily. 276 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:29,720 That is not good for Team Lily. 277 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,790 You know, lilies are actually a symbol 278 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:34,150 for fertility. 279 00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:35,320 Laura is 46. 280 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:36,820 Right. CAROL: And this wedding 281 00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,730 is mainly so Little Pete isn't a bastard anymore. 282 00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,330 Technically, he'll always be a bastard. 283 00:09:42,530 --> 00:09:43,810 We're sticking with roses. 284 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,830 Carol could never compromise. 285 00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:47,630 It was the worst part of our marriage. 286 00:09:47,830 --> 00:09:50,270 Worse than her sleeping with best friend behind back? 287 00:09:50,470 --> 00:09:52,810 Oh, right. Thank you, Thor. 288 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,570 ISAAC: We only have one question for you, 289 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:56,980 but it's a doozy. 290 00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,480 Did you really think you'd get away with it? 291 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,750 You think Thor guilty? Why? 292 00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:04,480 Because you were thrown into a jealous rage 293 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:05,980 by Flower and Crash's necking, 294 00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:08,920 which, as we all know, including me, is kissing. 295 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,320 That was a year ago. 296 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,690 Thor and Flower weren't even dating yet. 297 00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:15,090 Exactly. That was your motive, 298 00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:16,460 getting him out of the way. 299 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:18,430 We've got you dead to rights, Thor. 300 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,630 Make it easy on yourself, confess. 301 00:10:20,830 --> 00:10:24,070 But Thor not do it. Thor not jealous of Crash. 302 00:10:24,270 --> 00:10:25,570 Flower doesn't even like him. 303 00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:27,510 In fact, she told me that he 304 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,970 starting to bother her and 305 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,840 saying that he was getting all mushy 306 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,480 because he started singing too many songs of love. 307 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,450 Really? Yeah. 308 00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:36,980 She say that he get clingy, 309 00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:39,120 and you know that she has commitment issues. 310 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,290 (gasp) So, you're saying Flower might've had a motive 311 00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:42,590 for getting rid of Crash? 312 00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:44,520 What do you know? This pretzel has a twist. 313 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,060 All pretzels have twists. 314 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:47,460 Not pretzel rods, Alberta. 315 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:48,730 (gasps) 316 00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,430 What were you doing out there? 317 00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:52,730 I'm trying my darndest to give my daughter her dream wedding, 318 00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:54,770 and you're laying a goose egg on the scoreboard. 319 00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:57,200 Pete feels like Carol's steamrolling us on everything. 320 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,740 Yeah, she's scary. 321 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,540 The woman rolls her own cigarettes. 322 00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:01,870 She's like an ice road trucker. 323 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:04,210 I'm sorry, Pete, you must be so frustrated. 324 00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,850 Oh, I'm well beyond frustrated. I'm darn near P.O.'d. 325 00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:09,350 Oh, man, when Pete starts abbreviating almost bad words, 326 00:11:09,550 --> 00:11:10,420 you know he's upset. 327 00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,180 Everything else I'm fine with. 328 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:13,590 I just need these lilies. 329 00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:15,390 Why are lilies so important to you? 330 00:11:15,590 --> 00:11:17,060 Not to me, 331 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,860 to my daughter. 332 00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:21,360 All right. 333 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,000 Are you ready for Daddy to walk you down the aisle, 334 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,800 to begin your life with Mr. Snuggles? 335 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,170 Wait, Daddy, I need my flowers. 336 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:28,900 Of course, your bouquet. 337 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,190 How could I forget? 338 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,910 Thank you, Daddy. 339 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,180 These are the most beautiful flowers ever. 340 00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:41,050 CAROL: Pete, did you call the permit office about that deck? 341 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:44,500 I'll get to it! I'm doing something! 342 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:46,520 Sorry. 343 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,420 That's a beautiful story, Pete. 344 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,990 And I'm sure it would mean a lot to Carol, 345 00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:51,890 coming from you, but unfortunately 346 00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:53,530 she can't hear it from you. 347 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:54,930 What if she could? 348 00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,390 SAMANTHA: What do you mean? 349 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,900 Well, you know how Pete wrote 350 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:00,400 a bunch of notes down in this book? 351 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,530 What if one of them just happened to say 352 00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:05,040 that his favorite flowers were lilies? 353 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,510 Oh, I don't think that's in there. 354 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:09,070 (laughs) Not yet. 355 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,080 Oh. 356 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,080 Okay, normally I'd be opposed 357 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,410 to this kind of fraud, 358 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:14,710 but I recently learned that crime does pay, 359 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:16,610 so let's do it. 360 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,780 So, after Thor revealed you had a motive 361 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,050 for getting rid of Crash, 362 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:21,220 we have a culprit. 363 00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,690 Oh, my God, who? This is so exciting. 364 00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:25,760 You, Flower. It was you. 365 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,060 Wait, what did I do? 366 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,490 You hid Crash's head. 367 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:32,930 You and Crash were in an intimate relationship, 368 00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,870 but then he started bugging you. 369 00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:36,500 The crooning, the poems, 370 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,470 the constant necking. It all became 371 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,540 too much, so you dumped his head in the woods. 372 00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:44,540 He got too attached, so you unattached him. 373 00:12:44,740 --> 00:12:46,850 On the night in question, 374 00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,950 you snuck up behind him while he was watching The Price Is Right, 375 00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,650 and you snatched his head. 376 00:12:50,850 --> 00:12:52,790 Okay, fine. 377 00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:55,320 I did it. I hid Crash's head. 378 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,260 Yes, you did. (laughs) 379 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:58,420 But, more importantly, 380 00:12:58,620 --> 00:12:59,960 we figured it out. 381 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,430 The crack investigative team of Higgintoot and Haynes. 382 00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,300 Pony and Bangs. 383 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,360 (gasps) Alberta, I love that. 384 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,500 (laughs) 385 00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,630 Oh, because of your hairstyles. 386 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,740 CAROL: "And that's why GoBots 387 00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:14,040 are superior to Transformers." Mm-hmm. 388 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,410 "Now, when it comes to flowers, nothing beats a lily." 389 00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:19,210 He wrote it right there in the margin. 390 00:13:19,410 --> 00:13:20,550 It all makes sense now. 391 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,880 That is why I had lilies stuck in my head. 392 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:26,020 I must have read it in Pete's old scout manual and 393 00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:28,320 somehow internalized it. Okay. 394 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,060 I guess that would be a nice way to honor Pete. 395 00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:33,060 "And also 'Dancing Queen' is a great number to bop to." 396 00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:34,530 Add that when she's not looking. 397 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,790 You guys talking my wedding? 398 00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:36,960 JAY: Look who it is. SAMANTHA: Laura, hey. 399 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,160 PETE: Ah, my little pumpkin, 400 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,930 who's older than me. 401 00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:41,700 That's kind of messing with my head. 402 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:43,070 We were discussing flowers. 403 00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:45,640 Did you know that your dad loved lilies? 404 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,770 No. I don't remember him ever mentioning lilies. 405 00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:50,040 And that's kind of messing with my heart. 406 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,480 Really? No special memories related to lilies? 407 00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,880 No. Why do you think he liked lilies? 408 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,420 Because he wrote it in his book, right here. 409 00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:58,620 No. 410 00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:00,640 Grandpa didn't write that. That's new. 411 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,160 Kill small child. Silence him. 412 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,490 (laughs) Your grandpa did write that, buddy. 413 00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:09,230 No, it's new. 414 00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,860 He's read this book a thousand times. 415 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,700 Sounds like Little Pete needs some friends. 416 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:16,600 And that writing does look... 417 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:17,740 a little different 418 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,040 from this writing. 419 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,940 Wait a minute, 420 00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:25,610 did you psychos forge this? 421 00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:27,150 What's happening? 422 00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:29,780 She was obsessed with lilies for her website pictures. 423 00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,350 Then, all of a sudden, 424 00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:34,550 they found this thing in your dad's book 425 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,420 about him loving lilies. 426 00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:37,990 Sam, fix this. 427 00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:40,830 No, no, that is... it's just a coincidence. 428 00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:43,600 I don't think we should do your wedding here. 429 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,200 What? No. 430 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,870 Yeah, this all feels a little too weird. 431 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:49,670 Come on, Laura, help me pack up my stuff. 432 00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:50,870 Wait, please don't leave. 433 00:14:51,070 --> 00:14:52,470 If you leave now, you're gonna forfeit 434 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:54,240 all of your Woodstone Rewards Points. 435 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,060 You were one night away from a free pancake breakfast. 436 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,490 SAMANTHA: Come on, Pete, don't beat yourself up. 437 00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:08,850 No, it's my own fault. I went too far. 438 00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:10,920 And now I won't even see my daughter get married. 439 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,290 And the worst part is, 440 00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:13,560 she doesn't even remember the stupid lilies. 441 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,160 One of my most cherished memories, 442 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:16,830 and it means nothing to her. 443 00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:19,100 Okay, well, we're leaving. 444 00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:21,200 Thank you for a very weird time. 445 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,340 We're taking you off the family newsletter. 446 00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,040 (gasps) No! 447 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,540 Even Thor upset about that. 448 00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:27,870 Was excited to hear how 449 00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:30,380 Cousin Debbie's trip to Spain went. (chuckles) 450 00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,010 She is most adventurous cousin. 451 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,310 SAMANTHA: I just, I feel so bad about this whole situation. 452 00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:36,280 You're right. 453 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,850 I got obsessed with having lilies in the photos, 454 00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:41,650 and I should've cared more about what you guys wanted. 455 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:44,560 You defaced a family heirloom. 456 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,560 I guess I just... I... I went a little kook-a-luka. 457 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,100 I don't know how else to say it. 458 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,630 What did you say? 459 00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:53,100 I went nuts, 460 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,570 and I'm sure you guys never want to see us again. 461 00:15:55,770 --> 00:15:57,140 LAURA: No, that word. 462 00:15:57,340 --> 00:16:00,310 Kook-a-luka. Why do you know that word? 463 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:02,540 I... don't know. 464 00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:05,240 It just popped into my head. Why? 465 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,410 The only other person I've ever heard say that word is my dad. 466 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,150 CAROL: Did you read that in Pete's book 467 00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:11,280 or something? 468 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,550 That word's not in there, Grandma, 469 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,320 and I would know because I have every word 470 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,950 of that book memorized. 471 00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:17,460 (laughs) TREVOR: Seriously, 472 00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:19,790 somebody get this kid a basketball or something. 473 00:16:19,990 --> 00:16:20,760 (grunts) 474 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,530 I want to have the wedding here. 475 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,230 CAROL: Wait, what? 476 00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:27,100 (sighs) I don't know. I can't explain it, but 477 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:29,370 I feel Dad's presence here. 478 00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,700 I felt it the first time we came last year, 479 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,070 and now, hearing that word, 480 00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:37,410 I don't know, I feel it now. 481 00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:38,880 I'm right here, Pumpkin. 482 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,080 LAURA: I want him to be with me at my wedding, 483 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,680 just like when he married me off to Mr. Snuggles 484 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,120 and gave me those orchids. 485 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,850 (laughs) 486 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,220 Right. 487 00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:52,160 Orchids. (laughs) My bad. 488 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,190 Seriously? 489 00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:54,990 What? I had a senior moment. 490 00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:56,690 Technically, I'm 78. 491 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,100 (sighs) Well, that is one interrogation 492 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:01,030 Flower won't soon forget. 493 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,100 You think? 494 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:03,770 No, she probably will. 495 00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:06,400 (both laugh) 496 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,240 Ah, well... 497 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,860 until next time, Bangs. 498 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,010 Oh, uh, just one more thing, Pony. 499 00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:17,650 You said Crash was watching The Price Is Right 500 00:17:17,850 --> 00:17:20,620 when his head was stolen. 501 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:21,820 And? 502 00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:25,190 And... (laughs) 503 00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:26,660 Crash didn't tell us that. 504 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:29,460 The only way you'd know what he was watching is if you 505 00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:31,330 were the one who grabbed Crash's greasy mop 506 00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:32,460 and threw it in the woods. 507 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,770 Oh, well... well, you see, 508 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,600 there is actually a very simple explanation... There is. 509 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,710 It was you all along, Isaac. 510 00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:43,340 The only thing I can't figure out is why. 511 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,510 I was very bored. (gasps) 512 00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:47,610 I-I thought a mystery could 513 00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:49,710 spice things up, so... 514 00:17:49,910 --> 00:17:50,980 yes, 515 00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:53,840 I tossed Crash's head into the woods. 516 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,650 I thought solving the crime could be a diversion, 517 00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:59,060 something to help while away eternity. 518 00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:01,090 But why did you let it go on for so long? 519 00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:04,700 That boy was stuck in a tree stump for a year. 520 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:06,060 There were several blizzards. 521 00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:08,030 Well, admittedly, that wasn't my intention. 522 00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:11,340 The truth is, I sort of just... forgot. 523 00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:12,970 (gasps) I know. 524 00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:14,940 Shortly after I stashed Crash's head, 525 00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:16,740 things started developing with Nigel, and then there was 526 00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:18,780 a lot of hubbub around the B and B opening up, 527 00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:20,510 and plus the new season of Bake Off came out. 528 00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:21,550 Oh, Isaac. 529 00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,450 I know. I'm not proud of it, 530 00:18:23,650 --> 00:18:25,850 but at least one good thing did come of this. 531 00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,750 When was the last time the two of us 532 00:18:27,950 --> 00:18:29,840 spent this kind of time together? 533 00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:32,420 It was fun to be on the case with you. 534 00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:35,890 And why the hell did Flower confess? 535 00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:38,000 I don't know, but that was great. 536 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,060 Maybe we could do this again sometime. 537 00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:41,100 I'd like that. 538 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:42,470 Although waiting around 539 00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:44,200 for an actual crime could prove tedious. 540 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,840 We could lock a basement ghost in the vault, 541 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,960 and then find them in a few days. 542 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,690 I like the way you think. 543 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,250 Thank you again for hosting the wedding. 544 00:18:58,450 --> 00:18:59,550 Our pleasure, Jerry. 545 00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:01,320 I'm just pleased we were able to step in 546 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,860 after the whole incident with Pete's unpermitted deck. 547 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,920 Which was obviously called in 548 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,360 by a bitter neighbor. 549 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,730 It's okay. I'm gonna build Carol an even bigger deck. 550 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:13,270 THOR (laughs): Yes, 551 00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:16,930 Jerry will give Carol the big deck that Pete never could. 552 00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:17,770 Ooh. 553 00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:19,600 Oh, look at Little Pete. 554 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,410 Your grandson's such a cutie. Agreed. 555 00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,480 He is an adorable little bastard. 556 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,940 Where are the bridesmaids? This wedding sucks. 557 00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:29,750 What is taking so long? Where is Laura? 558 00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:31,280 Did she get cold feet? 559 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:32,550 HETTY: Peter, relax, 560 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:33,820 she's been with this man for ten years, 561 00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:35,120 and they have a child together. 562 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,690 The point is, no one else wants her. 563 00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:39,040 (gasps) There she is. 564 00:19:45,510 --> 00:19:47,570 Oh, Pete, she looks so beautiful. 565 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:48,970 I can't believe it. 566 00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:50,670 My little girl's getting married. 567 00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:54,620 ALBERTA: Pete, you go walk your girl down the aisle. 568 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,580 Ow, ow! 569 00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:04,180 Worth it. (sniffles) Ow! I-I'm okay. 570 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:07,130 Ooh. (sighs) 571 00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:14,260 You know, when I was in the stump, 572 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:15,560 I thought about you all the time. 573 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,230 Uh... okay. 574 00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:20,400 I even wrote a song for you. 575 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,070 You want to hear it? 576 00:20:22,270 --> 00:20:23,840 I'm kind of watching something. 577 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,440 * Feeling cold, shooby doo wop, wop * 578 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,740 * In the tree, shooby doo wop * 579 00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,980 * I thought about you, shooby doo wop * 580 00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:33,180 * Being with me * 581 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:36,230 * Oh. * 582 00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:39,630 Hey! 583 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,720 (sighs) 584 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,920 Captioning sponsored by CBS 585 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,310 and TOYOTA. 586 00:20:48,910 --> 00:20:52,350 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org