1
00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:07,920
Samantha, as you know,
2
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,922
Trevor and I are now
an official couple.
3
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,751
That's right, Sammy,
this beefcake is off the market.
4
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,579
You snooze, you lose.
5
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:15,711
Darn.
6
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,626
Anyway, our social calendar
7
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,280
is filling up quickly,
8
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,065
so if you and Jay would like
to get on the books,
9
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,806
I suggest you act with haste.
10
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,634
This afternoon is
spoken for, however,
11
00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:26,896
by me and Nigel.
12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,115
Oh, it's so fun to have
another couple
13
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:29,638
to do things with now.
14
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,292
I know. Doing things
with other couples
15
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:32,989
is one of the best things
about being a couple.
16
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,123
[chuckles]
Thor and Flower
also a couple now.
17
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,559
Oh, dear.
18
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:40,866
We are available to do things.
19
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:43,086
Unfortunately, we
have plans that night.
Oh!
20
00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,871
But Thor not say
specific night.
21
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:47,308
Without a specific night,
22
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,700
how are we supposed
to plan anything?
23
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,050
Oh, she's good.[door opens]
24
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,834
- JAY: I'm home!
- Jay!
25
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,879
Hey, babe, and I'm guessing
three to eight
26
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,142
invisible people from
throughout history.
27
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,926
SAMANTHA:
How was New York?
28
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,754
It was freakin' awesome.
It was two days of
29
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,712
wall-to-wall D
with my old crew.
30
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,323
Sounds like pure hell.
31
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:03,846
It was pure bliss.
32
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,761
Neglore and Devlin
were unconscious,
33
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,154
Florin was out of heals.
34
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,720
It was just me versus
the Dracolich.
35
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,940
I pull out my sword,
toss my lucky die,
36
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,811
and what do I roll?
Natural 20, baby.
37
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,466
I am so sorry I missed it.
38
00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:18,861
- No, you're not.
- No, I'm not.
But I did miss you.
39
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,993
[chuckles]
I root for them.
40
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,474
It's gonna be a bummer
watching them wither and die,
41
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,868
but right now,
this is nice.
42
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,611
♪ ♪
43
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,703
Nay. Ya-da-da-da!
44
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,357
Pete, please get out of the way.
45
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:37,967
No can do, my friend.
As you know, the bathroom
46
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,577
is strictly off limits
for ghosts
47
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,188
when the Living
is inside.
48
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,885
That's when someone's,
like, in the shower, man.
49
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,843
They're just fixing
a leaky pipe.
50
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,932
Okay, what you're saying may be
within the spirit of the rule,
51
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,935
but I must insist we
follow the letter of the law,
52
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,720
because of my ethics,
53
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,069
and what a doctor
once called
54
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,897
a slight personality disorder.
55
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:57,029
- Did you get the sneakers?
- I waited in line
56
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,641
for six hours
to get these bad boys.
57
00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:02,731
Behold.
58
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:05,908
The Wind Storm Ultra Five.
59
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:08,389
Damn! And Sam didn't see you
bring these in?
60
00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:09,781
No, no, no, no, no.
I brought 'em in
61
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,479
in my suitcase, and then
I hid 'em in this tub.
62
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,611
She doesn't know anything.
63
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,047
Can I smell 'em?
64
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,484
I wouldn't consider you
a fellow sneaker head
65
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,529
if you didn't.[sniffs]
66
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,358
[stairs creaking]
67
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:32,630
Oh![loud crash]
68
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:35,720
Dude, are you kidding me?!
69
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,419
I hope that didn't wake up
that creepy prom ghost.
70
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:41,509
That is, like, twice
in two years, dipwad.
71
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,300
Sweet dreams.
72
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,693
[loud crash]
73
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:59,440
Okay, what about
six Wednesdays from now?
74
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,746
Mm, no, also booked.
75
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:02,834
It is unfortunate.
76
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,706
It's frustrating for both of us.
77
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,316
Hey, losers.
78
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,231
Stephanie, what are you
doing up?
79
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:10,015
Please don't make fun
of my knees again.
80
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,408
They're normal knees.
81
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:14,194
That dork Living woke me up, again.
82
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,631
So what did I miss
since last April?
83
00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:19,155
Oh, well, let's see,
Elias came back from hell.
84
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,461
Samantha got possessed.
85
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,245
We all met Tara Reid.
86
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:23,986
Ooh, we started a podcast
about my murder.
87
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,117
I have son.
88
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,771
And I'm gay.
89
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,905
What's a podcast?
90
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,255
So, what are we smelling
for lunch?
91
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,083
Oh, God.
92
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,172
Stephanie.
Hi, Trevor.
93
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,782
Aren't you happy to see me?
94
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:38,870
You know, I've been
thinking about you,
95
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,307
like, a lot.
96
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,352
Again, not gonna happen.
97
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,354
You know, I'm technically
54 years old now.
98
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,051
Yeah, but you're not.
99
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,966
Plus, um... [clears throat]
100
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,926
Well, really, I'm seeing someone.
101
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,188
Her?
102
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,364
We were copulating secretly
103
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,018
for a period of time.
104
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:59,239
Initially stirred to passion
on the Lord's birthday.
105
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:03,025
But now we have come out
of the shadows.
106
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:06,333
Thor also have girlfriend now.
[laughs]
107
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,726
We're going on a double date
with Trevor and Hetty
108
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,902
at some unspecified point
in the near future.
109
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,556
As soon as we can work it out
schedule-wise, yeah.
110
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,429
I'm dating Nigel.
It's sort of an adorable story.
111
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,126
He's British,
and I killed him.
112
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,650
Wow, so is everyone just
pairing up now?
113
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,478
There is some movement
in that direction.
114
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:22,784
But no, not everyone.
115
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,351
It's his knees, isn't it?
116
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,831
And she went there.
Gosh darn it.
117
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,659
SAMANTHA:
Hey, Stephanie.
118
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:29,878
I guess the rumors
are true.
119
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,488
Just came to say hi.
120
00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:32,663
Wait a minute,
you mean Stephanie
121
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:33,969
the creepy chainsaw girl?
122
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:37,494
I mean the totally rad
'80s girl?
123
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,974
Did I wake her up?
124
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,977
I did go up to the attic
to put my suitcase away.
125
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:45,633
- Anyway, how are you?
- Terrible.
126
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,635
I just found out
about Trevor and Hetty.
127
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,201
Oh, yeah.
128
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,507
She's upset that
Trevor's dating Hetty.
129
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,640
Trevor is dating Hetty?
130
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:55,295
Seriously? When were you
gonna tell me this?
131
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,949
What would you do with
that information, Jay?
132
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,299
I don't know, feel included
in the goings-on
133
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,343
of my own home.
134
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,780
I just really, really like him,
135
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:05,479
and I don't think he's ever
gonna give me a chance.
136
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,308
That's why they call them crushes.
137
00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:11,136
If they were easy, they'd
call them something different.
138
00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:13,487
That's from Sixteen Candles.
139
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:14,923
It's my favorite movie.
140
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,664
Me, too. I've been there.
141
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,143
- I know it hurts.
- I know.
142
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,797
I just need to move on
and set my sights
143
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,495
- on someone else.
- You should definitely move on,
144
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:25,020
but I'm not sure who else
you could be with.
145
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,543
What does that mean?
146
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,893
No, it's just that
you're a high-schooler,
147
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,592
and all the other ghosts
are, you know, adults.
148
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,551
I am 54 years old, young lady.
149
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:37,119
I Frenched a guy
at a Flock of Seagulls concert.
150
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,295
I don't know what to tell you.
151
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,429
You tell her to stay positive,
okay? You never know.
152
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:45,257
A nice high school kid
might show up,
153
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,912
and he might crash his car,
fly through the windshield...
154
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,261
Jay!
155
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,742
Well, excuse me for being
a romantic.
156
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:56,486
You know what?
I think you're right, Sam.
157
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,402
I should just make peace
with being alone.
158
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:02,100
Thank you so much
159
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,233
for a very helpful talk.
160
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,409
- You're welcome.
- Mm-hmm.
161
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,021
Oh, hey, Stephanie.
You're awake.
162
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,675
What are you up to?
163
00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:14,417
I am going to take down
164
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,507
every couple here at Woodstone.
165
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,640
If I can't be happy,
166
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,643
- no one can.
- Cool.
167
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:23,774
I'm gonna stick my head
in the fridge
168
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:30,607
and smell some cheese.
169
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,740
Listen, Trevor,
uh, I am sorry
170
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,698
for getting all mad
about you and Hetty.
171
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,091
The truth is I'm happy
for you guys.
172
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,701
Thank you, Stephanie.
173
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,442
It kinda sucks, though,
for you, right?
174
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,792
You guys used to just hook up,
175
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,925
and now you have to do a bunch
of boring boyfriend stuff?
176
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,535
Yikes.
177
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,276
Look, boyfriend stuff
isn't boring.
178
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,191
Like today, we're doing
a double date.
179
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,845
What are you doing?
180
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,630
We're having tea
with Isaac and Nigel.
181
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,372
Wow. That sounds
right up your alley.
182
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,940
- Not.
- THORFINN: Whoa.
183
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,637
She completely changed
meaning of sentence
184
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:01,638
with one word.
185
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,292
TREVOR:
Well, I like tea.
186
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,642
And next time they said that
we can watch basketball.
187
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,731
I'm sure that'll happen.
188
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,081
Not!
[laughs]
189
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,388
TREVOR:
Whatever.
190
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:15,130
You're just jealous.
191
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,785
And stop trying
to get in my head.
192
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,744
- So, a Viking and a hippie.
- FLOWER: Mm-hmm.
193
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,485
What do you guys have in common?
194
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,574
[chuckles]
Um...
195
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:27,229
- we both like Viking stuff.
- Mm.
196
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:30,841
I mean, I'm not huge
on Viking stuff.
197
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:33,017
That's not a promising start.
198
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,064
I like horses. Mm.
199
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,892
Yes! Me, too.
200
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:40,503
- Very delicious.
- Oh, no.
201
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:43,767
Well, I'll leave you guys to it.
202
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,640
[chuckles]
203
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:50,339
Hey, thanks for coming up here.
204
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,472
I was hoping you could
help me move this old quilt
205
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:53,690
onto my bed.
206
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,431
Which old quilt?
This one?
207
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,041
Yeah, that one right there.
208
00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,695
Looks way more comfortable
than the one I have.
209
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,611
Thank you.
210
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:04,092
SAMANTHA:
Wait, what are these?
211
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,355
Oh, I don't know.
It's, like, shoes or something.
212
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,011
Jay was putting them up here
when he woke me up.
213
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,839
Wait, did you not know
about these?
214
00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,276
Huh, he bought these
two days ago in New York.
215
00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:15,756
And he hid them from you?
216
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,149
That's so messed up.
217
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,109
No, we don't hide things
from each other.
218
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,284
I'm sure he just didn't
get around
219
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:24,025
to telling me yet.
220
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,070
No, yeah, yeah.
I'm sure you're right.
221
00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:26,941
Not.
222
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:34,165
So, Nigel,
Isaac was telling me
223
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:37,647
that you don't care
for green tea.
224
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,170
[Nigel laughs]
225
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:41,869
Getting into controversial
topics, I see.
226
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,827
Well, be honest.
Don't you grow tired.
227
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,569
Of the smell of
English breakfast tea?
228
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,440
In England,
we just call it
229
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,051
breakfast tea.
230
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,880
[laughter]
231
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,536
Is this whole double date
gonna be
232
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:57,711
tea-related conversation?
233
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,408
It's just, it's been an hour.
234
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,193
And-and that's just
a long time to talk
235
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:04,239
about flavored water.
236
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:07,982
Well, uh, perhaps it wouldn't
feel so long, dearest,
237
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:10,288
if you attempted to participate.
238
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,900
- Mm.
- Okay.
239
00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:16,207
Well, I guess that I like... Mm-hmm?
240
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,992
...iced tea.
241
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:19,776
Have you ever had Snapple?
242
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,127
The Diet Peach
was pretty good.
243
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,436
[English accent]:
And in a bold move,
244
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,918
Iron Chef Arondekar has
chosen the parsnip.
245
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,789
My God, how's he gonna
prepare this?
246
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,097
This guy really needs
some friends.
247
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,315
Well, when you have imagination,
248
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,708
you don't need friends.
249
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,842
I wore headgear
till I was 15.
250
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:44,192
Hey, honey,
I just realized that
251
00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,934
I never got the chance to hear
about the rest of your trip.
252
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,500
Oh, well, it was pretty chill.
253
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,459
Just played D
with the old crew.
254
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,070
Oh, did I tell you about
the showdown with the Beholder?
255
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,812
No, I didn't mean
more D stuff.
256
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,161
You were there for two days.
257
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,989
You must have done
something else.
258
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,817
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
a Beholder showdown.
259
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:02,427
Let's not race
past that.
260
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:03,472
Nope, that was
pretty much it.
261
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,648
So weird.
262
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,389
Why isn't he telling you
about the sneakers?
263
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:10,914
Look, Jay, the truth is I know
what you did in New York.
264
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,090
You do?
Yes.
265
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,223
And it's not even
a big deal, I just...
266
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:17,921
I want you to be able
to be honest with me
267
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,445
because that is the kind
of couple we are.
268
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,710
Okay, fine, I interviewed for
the head chef position
269
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,711
at my old restaurant.
270
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,582
What?!
271
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,279
You interviewed for a job there?
272
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,412
You just said you knew, and that
it wasn't a big deal.
273
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:33,023
This is so much better
than sneakers.
274
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:35,547
I didn't know,
and it is a huge deal.
275
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:38,028
Okay, before somebody says
something they're gonna regret,
276
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,813
let's get back to
the Beholder showdown.
277
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,815
Did it use its Ray
of Disintegration?
278
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,207
A shiny nickel says it did.
279
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,781
I just can't believe
you would interview for a job
280
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,174
in another city
without talking to me.
281
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,045
Wait, what did you think
that I was hiding?
282
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,352
Uh, duh, the sneakers
in the attic.
283
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,702
Oh, well, those aren't mine,
those are Mark's.
284
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,139
He keeps 'em here so that
his wife doesn't know
285
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:03,837
how much he spends on shoes.
286
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,665
I don't even have shoes,
287
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:08,624
and my clothes are basically
a potato sack.
288
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,713
I'm just offering
a different perspective.
289
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,193
Whatever.
The shoes don't matter.
290
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,543
You were looking for a job
in the city.
291
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,849
Are you unhappy here?
292
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,634
Well, not exactly.
293
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,854
You know I can't live
- in the city, right?
- Yeah.
294
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,464
It's, like, wall-to-wall ghosts.
295
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:23,944
Central Park looks like
the "Thriller" video.
296
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:26,337
I wasn't gonna take the job.
297
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,949
I just wanted to indulge
in the fantasy for a minute.
298
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,603
- What fantasy?
- I don't know.
299
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,693
Being at the epicenter of
the cooking world again,
300
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,434
and working in a busy restaurant
301
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:39,133
with people that
I can see and hear.
302
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,656
Ouch. That felt pointed.
303
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,789
JAY:
I'm not unhappy here,
304
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,966
I just-- I miss some things
about my old life.
305
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,185
Okay.
306
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,579
Well, what can we do?
307
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,016
I don't think there's
anything to do.
308
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,281
Wait, what-what--
What was that?
309
00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:01,111
I wanted fireworks.
That was just...
310
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,330
That was depressing.
311
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,201
What are you talking about?
312
00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:06,073
She's been trying to
break everybody up,
313
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:09,946
except for Pete, who has no one.
314
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,253
Stephanie, why would you
do that to us?
315
00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:14,298
Oh, my God, no one
understands me!
316
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:16,431
I hate you.
I hate all--
317
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,433
Stop looking at me.
318
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,394
That is one dramatic
middle-aged lady.
319
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,570
TREVOR:
Guys, what was I thinking?
320
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,050
I had everything
so good with Hetty.
321
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:29,009
It was literally just sex.
322
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:32,316
But now we're smelling tea
and talking about tea.
323
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:33,665
And she shushes me
whenever I bring up anything
324
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,015
that happened after 1900.
325
00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,844
I hear you.
Relationships are tough.
326
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,629
What do you know
about relationship?
327
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,198
Uh, hello?
Remember Jessica?
328
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:45,939
My ex-girlfriend?
329
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,724
- She lived in a car?
- No.
330
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,073
Trevor, I think you're
thinking about this
331
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:51,466
all the wrong way, buddy.
332
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:52,859
I mean, the stuff
you're doing now,
333
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,209
the couples stuff,
that's the best part.
334
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,688
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
335
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:58,429
When I think back on
my time with Carol,
336
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,605
I mean, those are the moments
that really stand out.
337
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:03,695
You know, it's that trip
to the lamp store,
338
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:07,003
or those long breakfasts
where you
339
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:10,267
sit there reading
your separate papers.
340
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:13,009
And then she glares at you for
laughing out loud at Ziggy,
341
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,142
which you know bothers her,
but you can't help yourself.
342
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,491
It's Ziggy!
343
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,800
The point is,
this is the good stuff, buddy.
344
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,802
Soak it in.
345
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,542
That was so bleak.
346
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:28,677
Yeah. Thor rattled.
347
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,377
She lived in a RAV4.
348
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,379
It was just a couple
weeks ago, Thor.
349
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,990
I know you remember.
350
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,210
Very sad, Sass
make up girlfriend.
351
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:46,042
So, that was fun today
with your new beau.
352
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,392
[shudders]
Yes, it was a delight.
353
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:49,741
We should do it
again soon.
354
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,092
Not that soon, though.
355
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,050
It's just we want to
space out the fun.
356
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:57,140
Oh, drop the niceties.
Trevor was a disaster.
357
00:13:57,271 --> 00:14:00,491
He had no opinions about tea.
358
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,233
His knowledge of steam engines
was rudimentary at best.
359
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:05,061
It wasn't that bad.[scoffs]
360
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,629
Is it really that difficult
to carry one's weight
361
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,065
at a social function?
362
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,415
I mean, Elias was
a syphilitic philanderer,
363
00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,853
but that man sparkled
at a dinner party.
364
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,072
He could drink anyone
under the table with class,
365
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,248
and vomit most discreetly.
366
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,860
Things were simpler before, when
our union was purely carnal.
367
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:25,255
But now... what can I do?
368
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,692
- Can't go back.
- During tea,
369
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,259
did either of you...
370
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:32,001
Feel his genitals were
on display? Yeah.
371
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,351
I wish I could say
you get used to it.
372
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,267
You don't.
373
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:39,704
[door opens, closes]
374
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,403
Hey, Sam, I'm here
for the shoes.
375
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,274
Oh, yeah, sorry
about that, Mark.
376
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:47,625
I just don't want people going
- in and out of the attic.
- Why?
377
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,323
Oh, that is a fair question.
378
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,979
Um, there's a rare owl
that's nesting there.
379
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,502
We don't like to disturb it.
380
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,026
Oh, I didn't know
about this owl.
381
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,462
I love owls.
382
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,073
Odin has pet owl.
383
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:01,683
Really?
384
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,380
Maybe that's a thing
we have in common.
385
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:07,602
Yes. Thor and Flower both
familiar with owls. [laughs]
386
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:11,736
Is definitely basis for
entire relationship. Hmm?
387
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,173
There's gotta be another place
on this giant property
388
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,565
I could stash these shoes.
389
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,613
How about that barn out back?
390
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,267
You want to put
your expensive sneakers
391
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,095
in some dilapidated old barn?
392
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,835
Yeah, it's old,
but it's got good bones.
393
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,707
And it's actually got
a solid roof to it.
394
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,317
ALBERTA:
Ooh, hold on.
395
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,406
I know my girl.
Her wheels are turning.
396
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:30,930
Guys, I have an idea.
397
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,453
It's, uh, it's just me.
398
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,455
Right. I mean guy...
399
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:38,850
My guy, my man, my-my dude.
400
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,984
My man Mark. Marky-Mark.
401
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:44,595
[chuckles weakly]
402
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,597
It never gets less
painful to watch.
403
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:48,991
JAY:
Now will you tell me
what we're doing
404
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,253
out here in the barn?
405
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:54,040
So, after our little
talk earlier,
406
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,129
everything you said
was true.
407
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:57,826
I can't ever go
back to the city.
408
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,699
She got a lot
of parking tickets. Ah.
409
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,049
So why don't we bring
the New York City
410
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,528
food scene to us?
411
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,313
It'll be like that
baseball movie you love.
412
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,489
Major League II? No.
413
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,273
Major League one?
The Sandlot? No.
414
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,579
Bull Durham?
Moneyball?
415
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:12,754
The Natural? Barbarella!
416
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,756
- Just stop guessing.
- BOTH: Oh.
417
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,715
"If you build it,
they will come."
418
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,717
Field of Dreams. Field of Dreams.
419
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,198
So this is why
I brought you out here.
420
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:25,810
Because this could be
your cornfield.
421
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,639
[wings flutter]
422
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:31,947
It could be a restaurant,
a destination restaurant.
423
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:35,995
Are you saying this could be
our Blue Hill at Stone Barns?
424
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,866
A destination restaurant
could be a big draw
425
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,781
for the B and B.
426
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,697
Oh, also, a butter churn.
People love activities.
427
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:45,221
Mark could help us
transform the space.
428
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:47,006
Yeah, I mean,
it all sounds great,
429
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:49,095
but we don't really have
the money for that.
430
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:52,402
You do if your contractor
is your business partner.
431
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,536
Hold on. Mark's gonna be
around all the time
432
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:58,408
being best friends with Jay,
getting into shenanigans?
433
00:16:58,539 --> 00:16:59,888
Don't love that.
434
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:06,329
Although I am glad that
Sam and Jay worked things out.
435
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,201
And now they're
stronger than ever.
436
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:11,378
Just like me and Thor,
who love owls.
437
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,424
Oh, thank you, Sam.
438
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:17,297
Now I can tell you that
half those sneakers are mine.
439
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,300
They're investment pieces.
440
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:25,044
See? The shenanigans are
already starting.
441
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:27,698
SAM:
Hey, Stephanie...
442
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:30,179
Yeah, they already told me, okay?
443
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,441
You and Jay are totally fine.
444
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:32,877
Are you here to gloat?
445
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,010
No, I'm here to thank you.
446
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,838
You made us work
through something,
447
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,058
and we are stronger
- because of it.
- Good for you.
448
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,885
I'll just be over here
alone for eternity
449
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,844
because I died on prom night,
450
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,499
and there is not a single other
teenage ghost on the property.
451
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:48,154
Wait a minute,
you've never met Ralph?
452
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,025
Who's Ralph?
453
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,115
Hey, Ralph, show yourself.
454
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:55,248
I got someone who wants
to meet you.
455
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,863
RALPH:
H-Hi.
456
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:05,258
I'm-I'm Ralph. Ew.
457
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:06,868
SAMANTHA:
What's wrong?
458
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,783
Look at this dork,
he's got glasses on.
459
00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,263
What, these?
460
00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:14,876
["If You Were Here"
by Thompson Twins plays]
461
00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:24,364
♪ But would you suspect... ♪Oh, my God.
462
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:28,019
You look like that
under those?
463
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:33,373
♪ Do not want a part
of this anymore... ♪
464
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:40,162
So what kind of music
do you like?
465
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,295
I only heard music
three times in my life.
466
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:45,820
Whatever. You're so hot.
467
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,127
♪ And I'll have to spend
my time on repair... ♪
468
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,086
My own restaurant?
I'm so excited.
469
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:54,307
I'm so excited for you.
470
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:57,397
Oh, and Mark's gonna be around,
like, all the time.
471
00:18:57,527 --> 00:19:00,443
Glad you'll have
a real-life friend.
472
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:05,579
You think Mark really likes me,
or is it just business?
473
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,668
I don't want to talk
about Mark anymore.
474
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,452
Now you know how I feel.
475
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,156
Okay, rock, paper, scissors.
I win, we ask Sam
476
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,505
to turn on Who Wants to Be
A Millionaire?
477
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,768
You win, we watch...
what is it?
478
00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,596
Find Nemo.
479
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:26,208
Is story of fish on great
journey across the sea.
480
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,992
All right.
[clears throat]
481
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,820
One, two, three.
Ha ha!
482
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,387
Rock beats scissors.
483
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:34,085
[cries out]
And axe beats all!
484
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,304
[laughing]
485
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,654
Darn it, that smarts!
486
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:39,743
- HETTY: How dare you!
- TREVOR: How dare me?!
487
00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:40,831
You're selfish,
you're a control freak,
488
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:44,052
and you got all your
little old-timey rules.
489
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,185
- What's going on?
- Hetty and Trevor are
having a huge argument.
490
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,795
Shh, it's getting good.
491
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,318
It's like dating my teacher,
and not in a hot way.
492
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,320
You know what's not hot?!
493
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:53,627
Displaying one's genitalia
at the tea table.
494
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,673
It's because of a hero move![groans]
495
00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:59,285
You know what? I'm done.
496
00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:02,984
That makes two of us.
497
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,117
Stephanie will be
most pleased with this
498
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:07,293
a year from now.
499
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:12,472
But she couldn't
stop us. Owls.
500
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,604
Owls.
501
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,173
Do you think they bought it?
502
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,175
Hook, line and sinker.
503
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,960
Then back into the shadows
we go,
504
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:25,833
where this mismatched
travesty belongs.
505
00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:28,575
Now take me, you bare-assed
libertine. [moaning]
506
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,149
Captioning sponsored by CBS
507
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,240
and TOYOTA.
508
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,330
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org