1 00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,007 As I said on the phone, I'm Spencer Magnussen Cooke, 2 00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,271 the new editor of the Ulster County Review. 3 00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,012 Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Spencer. 4 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:14,405 So what happened to Lewis, if you don't mind me asking? 5 00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:15,972 Screen-sharing incident. 6 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,756 He's now in rehab for porn addiction. 7 00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:21,804 He, uh, wanted to spend more time with his family. 8 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:25,068 Uh, now, let us talk about your podcast. 9 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:26,287 I love it.He hates it. 10 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,158 Unfortunately, for budgetary reasons, 11 00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,507 we are canceling it. 12 00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,118 But we're in the middle of the season. 13 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,033 We haven't solved Alberta's murder yet. 14 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,297 Look, we don't want to leave the fans hanging, so... 15 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:40,083 I am going to give you one final episode 16 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:41,737 to wrap things up. 17 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,347 But it has to be posted by tomorrow. 18 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,175 What? Why tomorrow? 19 00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:47,612 He's flexing his power, he has a sad home life. 20 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,788 Tax reasons, it's complicated. 21 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:54,097 Okay, so I guess I have one day to solve Alberta's murder. 22 00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,144 Thanks for coming in. 23 00:00:57,274 --> 00:01:00,060 He didn't wash his hands after he went to the bathroom. 24 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,497 ♪ ♪ 25 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:06,544 FLOWER: Hey, guys. What's going on? 26 00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,633 I'm helping Pete check his email. 27 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,026 Pete, you have email? 28 00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:11,593 I-I don't use it to contact anyone. 29 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,899 The creep factor for getting an email from a dead person 30 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:15,684 is unfortunately pretty high. 31 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,381 Sure. 32 00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,209 But if you sign up at the Reader's Digestwebsite, 33 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,298 they send you a free joke every day. 34 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,735 [chuckling] Hey, hey, Flower, uh... 35 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:26,521 what did the buffalo say when he dropped his kid off at school? 36 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,436 "Don't get in any vans"? 37 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:31,178 No. He-he said "bison." 38 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,658 [chuckling]: Get it? Like "Bye, son"? 39 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,225 So he just said bye? 40 00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:37,184 Ah, jiminy. I guess it's more of a written thing. 41 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,098 Here, just look. 42 00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,491 [dinging]Whoa, Pete, 43 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:41,666 you just got another email. 44 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,494 Bonus joke? 45 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:44,582 Man, the good folks at Reader's Digest 46 00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:45,714 will just not rest. 47 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:46,715 No, it's from... 48 00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,152 Prince Jones Dimka? 49 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:52,372 His eminency of the Republic of Nigeria? 50 00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,765 A prince, emailing me? 51 00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:57,551 "Urgent matter, open immediately." 52 00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,120 Easier said than done. 53 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:04,167 [groaning] Ah. 54 00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,693 "Dear Pete Martino, it is with great urgency 55 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:12,480 that I write to you from a penal colony on Snake Island." 56 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,003 Oh, my God. 57 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,571 This prince needs our help. 58 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:20,879 This is the murder board. 59 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,272 This is what he's been doing all day? 60 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,622 So, this took eight hours, Jay? 61 00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,450 It took a long time to find red string. 62 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,583 Target was closed, Michael's was all out. 63 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,498 And, honestly, I kind of just lost track of time 64 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:33,327 in the Yarn Barn. That place is amazing. 65 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:36,025 Man, seeing all this laid out in one place like this, 66 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,896 really takes me back to that night. 67 00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:41,987 I was invited to perform at a party at Woodstone Mansion. 68 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:45,208 It was New Year's Eve. 69 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:50,126 ♪ Let's do it, let's fall in love ♪ 70 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,737 The joint was jumping. Ha-ha! 71 00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,957 Folks were getting zozzled. 72 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,872 I was working the crowd 73 00:02:57,002 --> 00:03:00,310 and my bootlegger boyfriend was haggling with the homeowner 74 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:03,139 over payment for the night's booze. 75 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,837 Swinging party, Thomas. 76 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,623 Yes. Let's get you a drink. 77 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:11,626 Hetty, your son throw better party than you used to. 78 00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:14,846 Oh, of course, everyone's in the mood to celebrate. 79 00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:18,328 The stock market is roaring and there's no end in sight. 80 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:22,376 1929 is sure to be the greatest year yet. 81 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,117 Mm. Woodstone driving a hard bargain? 82 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,337 Yeah, he's trying to change the terms of our arrangement. 83 00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,121 After tonight, I'm done with him.Mm. 84 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:32,168 You know what I'm done with? 85 00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,126 These uncomfortable-ass shoes. 86 00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:35,302 [laughter] 87 00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,260 The price we pay for fashion, Earl. 88 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:38,914 Oh, baby, it's just for a few hours. 89 00:03:39,043 --> 00:03:39,915 And besides... 90 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:40,785 you look great. 91 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,526 Mm. How great? 92 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,875 So great. 93 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,225 [laughter] 94 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:48,184 All right, here we go.Indeed. 95 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,751 Wouldn't mind watching him go at it. 96 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,317 Them, I said them. 97 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,146 Sorry, baby, that'll have to wait till later. 98 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,975 I got this one thing to take care of, 99 00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,281 but I'll see you after the next set. 100 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,196 [chuckles] 101 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,719 [sighs] 102 00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,897 ALBERTA: Mm. Putting on those uncomfortable shoes 103 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,551 was my first mistake. 104 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,118 [knocking] 105 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,077 I was about to make my second. 106 00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:15,211 Somebody had left me a present. 107 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,168 Hmm. "Good luck"? 108 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,954 [scoffs] I don't need luck. 109 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,216 But I do love booze. 110 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,263 [laughing] 111 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,439 THORFINN: So you just... 112 00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,659 drink alcohol even though no idea who gave it to you? 113 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,792 And you just traipsed through a field wearing a metal helmet 114 00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,272 during a lightning storm? 115 00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,056 What's your point, Thor? We all got here somehow. 116 00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:37,668 So, we know that the bottle of booze was laced with strychnine. 117 00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,757 Now, let's go over the murder suspects. 118 00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:42,586 Theresa, Alberta's sister, who was there that night 119 00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,066 as a member of Alberta's entourage. 120 00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,633 The note that we found 121 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,808 in the bootlegged whiskey in the wall says, 122 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:51,159 "My dearest Earl, I can't wait for us to be together, 123 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,510 once we get rid of you-know-who," 124 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,947 signed "T." T for Theresa? 125 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,427 Could be. 126 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:58,950 We also know that shortly after Alberta's death, 127 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,343 Theresa started dating Earl. 128 00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,171 Damning evidence slash juicy gossip. 129 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,694 It can't have been Theresa. 130 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,392 There's no way my sister would have done that. 131 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,350 I don't want to believe it's true either, 132 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,005 but it would make a really good end to the podcast. 133 00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,746 Good for the podcast? 134 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,269 Purely from a storytelling standpoint. 135 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,531 THORFINN: Sam. 136 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,316 Looks like Jay has something here. 137 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,274 Oh, Jay, did you come up with something? 138 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,756 No, I just thought the murder board was a little off balance. 139 00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:22,757 Yeah. 140 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,150 That's better. 141 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:27,805 So the prince wants us to send him 1,000 bucks 142 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,981 so he can bribe the guards, get out of prison, 143 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:33,028 reclaim his fortune, and then he'll pay us back? 144 00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,377 Ooh, not just pay us back. 145 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,771 He's gonna give us $5,000 146 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,033 for helping him. 147 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,164 Yeah, but this isn't about the money. 148 00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,775 This is a guy who needs help. 149 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,342 And he reached out to me. 150 00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:43,778 For some reason. 151 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:44,779 Should we tell Sam? 152 00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,694 [chuckling]: No, no, no. 153 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,260 Since the whole sexual possession 154 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,654 on Christmas "incident," I've been expressly banned 155 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:51,829 from using their computers. 156 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,483 You never told me that. 157 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,093 Now I'm an accessory. And for what? 158 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:59,228 Wholesome jokes curated by the funniest people in the world? 159 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,186 So we're not gonna help the prince? 160 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:03,667 But he's the only one who can rally the people 161 00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,277 to take down the military junta. 162 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,454 I know, but what can we do? 163 00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,978 Well, we can't just leave him hanging. That's rude. 164 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:12,328 Should we just email him back to say we're sorry? 165 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,286 Fine, okay. 166 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,680 He probably reached out because he thinks 167 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,116 I'm still a living travel agent. 168 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:19,640 You know what people say. 169 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,076 When in trouble, call a travel agent. 170 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,556 I've never heard anyone say that. 171 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,035 Oh, it's a saying. 172 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,647 Yeah, I've never heard that--It's a saying! 173 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,953 Okay, if it really was the sister, 174 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,129 I think somebody might want to make this into a movie. 175 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,610 Really? Do you think they'd let me write it? 176 00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:36,483 It wasn't my sister. We have a board full of suspects. 177 00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:38,659 We haven't even looked into Clara yet. 178 00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,574 All signs point to Clara. 179 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,053 Well, her name doesn't start with a "T." 180 00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:43,664 Well, many signs point to Clara. 181 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,841 We know that she hated me because I ratted her out. 182 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,843 And we know she was there that night. 183 00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:52,107 And she was wearing a very big hat... 184 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:56,546 HETTY: Yes, because she was trying to be inconspicuous. 185 00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:59,157 Which is just what a murderer would do. 186 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:02,639 Is a big hat inconspicuous or like reallyconspicuous? 187 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,380 It is an interesting question. 188 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,514 More of a side trip, but not one unworthy of taking. 189 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,777 But do you think Clara would be mad enough to kill you? 190 00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:11,996 I mean, you said she only spent one night in jail. 191 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,999 Wait, she only spent one night in jail? For bootlegging? 192 00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,740 I thought that was a major offense. 193 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:17,828 Well, it should have been. 194 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,177 Alcohol is highly addictive, 195 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,527 with none of the productive 196 00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:22,006 or medicinal qualities of cocaine. 197 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:23,399 Now that you mention it, 198 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,792 I guess Clara did get off sort of light. 199 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,402 I wonder if they cut her a deal. 200 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,230 Maybe that's why she was there. 201 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,666 We know there was a bootlegging deal. 202 00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,581 Maybe Clara was there to drop a dime 203 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,105 on Alberta and Earl to get revenge. 204 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,760 That would explain one kind of weird detail about that night. 205 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,588 After Alberta's murder was called in, 206 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,198 the police arrived almost instantly. 207 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:41,591 So Clara was working with the cops 208 00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,637 to get you arrested. Which means 209 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,159 she wasn't there to kill you. 210 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,988 Which means we're back to Theresa. 211 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,380 Sorry, Alberta. 212 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,207 JAY: You know what? 213 00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,123 I have a friend who works at CAA. 214 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,951 Maybe you want to talk to him about this whole movie thing. 215 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,171 Really? 216 00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,303 Although... 217 00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:00,175 We don't know for sure yet. 218 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:01,437 But maybe do, like, an e-introduction, 219 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,613 just to get the ball rolling. 220 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,837 Oh, come on, there's got to be something 221 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:10,664 on this board that points to someone 222 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:11,882 besides my sister! 223 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,362 Unfortunately, there is a lot of yarn 224 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,798 pointing to your sister. 225 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,235 Next order of business: murder weapon. 226 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,890 We know from Todd drinking the booze and getting hospitalized 227 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,457 that Alberta was poisoned with strychnine. 228 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,285 Where is that bearded historian? 229 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,418 Shouldn't he be here, as cohost of the podcast? 230 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,595 We're doing just fine without Todd. Thank you, Isaac. 231 00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:29,987 I did call Todd, but he said 232 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,511 he was on a Disney cruise with his mom. 233 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:34,078 His mom's boyfriend Kyle got a job as a Goofy. 234 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,732 I don't even want to know what any of those words mean. 235 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,299 Hmm. Interesting. 236 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,128 Strychnine is the main ingredient in rat poison. 237 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,347 They used to keep rat poison in the basement here. 238 00:08:42,477 --> 00:08:44,741 Wait, has anyone ever talked to the basement ghosts 239 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,264 about what they saw that night? 240 00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,875 I'll be honest. 241 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:50,921 I didn't know till very recently that they could speak. 242 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,141 Hey, guys. 243 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:54,534 Got another email from the prince. 244 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,013 What did he say?Is he mad at us? 245 00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,320 No, he's not mad. But he is worried. 246 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,409 Things have deteriorated at the penal colony. 247 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,889 He seems very desperate. 248 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,412 And now he's willing to pay us 249 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,284 50 grand if we wire him the thousand. 250 00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:07,938 Doesn't matter if he could give us a million smackers, 251 00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,679 we don't have access to any money. 252 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:12,334 Well, that's not entirely true. 253 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,031 We could rob a bank. 254 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,990 Yes, Flower, we know. You robbed a bank once. 255 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,295 Who told you? Was it Jan? 256 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,341 Was it Starburst? 257 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,952 No, what I'm saying is, wedon't have any money. 258 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,563 But Sam and Jay do. 259 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,042 And Jay uses the same password for everything, 260 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,436 including his online banking account. 261 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,264 Oh, come on, I don't know. 262 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,570 FLOWER: I'm in. 263 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,745 Even though I've never committed a crime 264 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,530 and I definitely haven't robbed a bank. 265 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,532 We do this, everybody wins. 266 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,055 The prince is saved. 267 00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,580 Sam and Jay get a huge payday, 268 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,494 and we get all the credit. 269 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,018 Eh, I just... 270 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,802 Pete, someone's in trouble. 271 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,284 Are you a travel agent or aren't you? 272 00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,113 Gosh darn it, let's do it. 273 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:53,636 [cheering] 274 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:54,594 You want to know what happened 275 00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,987 some random night 100 years ago? 276 00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,598 It wasn't a random night. 277 00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,077 It was New Year's Eve, 1928. 278 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,775 It was also the night I died. 279 00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,341 Does anybody remember somebody suspicious 280 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:05,343 coming down and grabbing some rat poison? 281 00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:09,130 Hold on, rat poison? Now that you mention it, 282 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,960 there was some guy with a scar on his face. 283 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,309 Yeah, we notice when somebody 284 00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,398 has something weird on their face. 285 00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,530 They said that there was a guy who took rat poison, 286 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,097 he had a scar on his face. 287 00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:22,404 Oh, you don't think that they mean Al Capone, do you? 288 00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:23,405 You know... 289 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,493 Scarface? 290 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,973 I mean, he was there that night. 291 00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:27,539 Ooh, and I did reject him. 292 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,106 Was this the guy that they're talking about? 293 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:30,673 Oops. 294 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:33,937 Uh, yeah, that's him. 295 00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,591 You know, he did seem kind of agitated. 296 00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:36,766 Yeah, that's him. 297 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,812 He was right over there. 298 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:50,780 This'll teach Alberta to facepalm me. 299 00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,090 Alberta, how could you not think to tell us 300 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,396 you rejected Al Capone that night? 301 00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:01,051 First of all, it was a very light facepalm. 302 00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,010 And secondly, old Al was always hitting on me. 303 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,533 I didn't think anything of it. 304 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,015 Ooh, the famous gangster Al Capone. 305 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,582 Now that is a murderer worthy 306 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,541 of someone like you,Alberta. 307 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,325 Oh, fame-on-fame crime. 308 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:16,371 That is juicy. 309 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:19,635 Aw, congrats on your high-profile murderer, Alberta. 310 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,463 I'm really happy for you. 311 00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:23,900 FLOWER: Oh, I can't wait to tell Sam and Jay. 312 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,119 They're going to be so happy with us. 313 00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:27,121 The second the prince transfers the money 314 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,600 back into the account, we tell them. 315 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,254 I'm so excited. 316 00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:31,429 I mean, this could be international news, right? 317 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,954 A freed prince? 318 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,825 Morley Safer's gonna be all over that. 319 00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:37,131 That's actually a good idea. 320 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,828 I'm gonna google "Nigerian prince" 321 00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,264 and see if it's in the news. 322 00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,831 You know, the word "hero" gets thrown around 323 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,704 pretty casually these days, but 324 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,314 I think you're looking at three of them right here. 325 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:47,750 We are pretty great. 326 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,973 [groaning] 327 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,453 You done yet?I got one letter. 328 00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,238 [bird cawing] 329 00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,979 Ah! Done. 330 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:01,111 Uh-oh. 331 00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,809 What? Were we too late? 332 00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,158 Did they execute the prince? 333 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,202 I don't think there was a prince. 334 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,508 What? 335 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:07,770 It's a scam. 336 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:10,033 And according to Google, a very famous one. 337 00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,731 PETE: So, Sam and Jay's money? 338 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,428 I think that's gone. 339 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,604 PETE:Gone? 340 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,128 I feel so... dumb. 341 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:21,262 Okay, so he lied to us about being a prince. 342 00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:24,004 But at least we helped someone get off of Snake Island. 343 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,962 And that's what's important. 344 00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:29,618 I feel less dumb, but still. 345 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,663 I mean, this is huge. 346 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,405 Al Capone killed somebody in this house. 347 00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,364 Do we put that on the website? 348 00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,061 So this guy was so upset about Alberta turning him down 349 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,106 that he killed her? 350 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,238 That's what the facts say, Sass. 351 00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,457 If he couldn't have me, no one could. 352 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,241 Well, this is an exciting conclusion 353 00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,983 to this thrilling mystery. 354 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,680 Seems like we can put this one to bed. 355 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:51,466 Well, it looks like you guys have got yourself enough yarn 356 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,947 to knit a jumper for Benjamin Franklin. 357 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,426 He was quite plump. 358 00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:56,819 We're solving Alberta's murder. 359 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,168 We're under a strict deadline 360 00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,474 because no one found it interesting enough 361 00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:01,041 to sustain a podcast. 362 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,738 NIGEL: Well, any leads? 363 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,610 It looks like it was the famous gangster Al Capone. 364 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:06,611 Nigel just came in. 365 00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,831 Oh, cheerio, guvnah. 366 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:11,965 Yes, that never gets old. 367 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:12,835 Pip, pip. Bob's your uncle. 368 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:15,185 Wait a moment. 369 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:18,014 I've seen this man before. 370 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,676 What are you doing? 371 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,721 If I can't have Alberta, 372 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,027 I don't want to live. 373 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,507 THERESA: Pull yourself together, Al. 374 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:33,595 No dame's worth it. 375 00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:34,988 What are you doing? 376 00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,554 Getting rid of this. 377 00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:37,773 Now go back to the party, 378 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,514 and stop acting like a fool. 379 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,037 And pay your taxes, 380 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:43,518 that's gonna come back to haunt you. 381 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,392 And then the woman stopped Al Capone from killing himself. 382 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:51,831 Whoa. If Capone didn't kill Alberta, then who did? 383 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,137 Maybe woman who took bottle did. 384 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,443 We know she had poison. 385 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,314 Was the woman wearing a big hat 386 00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,577 that was either conspicuous or inconspicuous? 387 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,580 No, no interesting headwear to speak of. 388 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,060 So then it wasn't Clara. 389 00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,583 Then who was it? 390 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,977 Who was the woman who had the poisoned bottle? 391 00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:09,849 It was her. 392 00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:10,850 [gasping] 393 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,200 Ah, it always feels good 394 00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,376 to elicit a classic Higgintoot gasp. 395 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:18,031 You're saying that my sister really did kill me? 396 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:20,685 I can't believe this. 397 00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,122 I'm so sorry, Alberta. 398 00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:23,993 She was my best friend. 399 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,432 I mean, I know we didn't always get along, but... 400 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:31,218 I thought we at least had each other's back. 401 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:34,786 But she killed me to be with Earl. 402 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,964 Men would come and go, but we always said 403 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,487 we would grow old together. 404 00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,793 But apparently that was all a lie. 405 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,840 And now I'm stuck with this pain for eternity. 406 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,364 Your sister didn't kill you. 407 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,104 Yeah, I don't want to believe it either, 408 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,976 but the facts are what they are. 409 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,978 No, I am saying your sister didn't kill you 410 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,980 because I know who actually did. 411 00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,548 I have always known. 412 00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:59,768 Do we think Yarn Barn takes returns on opened packages? 413 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,030 Jay. 414 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,558 Hetty, what are you talking about? 415 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:08,559 She's saying she knows who the killer is. 416 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:09,604 Mm. Was it the board? 417 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:10,822 Did the board get her there? 418 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,520 No. She's saying she's always known. 419 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:13,782 Board did nothing for no one. 420 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,958 Uh, Hetty, I-I don't understand. 421 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,481 Uh, who did it and how do you know? 422 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,353 Because I saw it all happen. 423 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,832 On the night of the party, 424 00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,183 I was following my son Thomas around... 425 00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:26,838 ...when your sister approached him with the poisoned bottle. 426 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,710 She informed him of the attempted suicide 427 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,017 and he took possession of the poisoned moonshine. 428 00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:33,540 But instead of disposing of it... 429 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:36,370 he placed it outside Alberta's dressing room, 430 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:40,330 knocked on the door, and slipped away. 431 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,681 Your killer was my son Thomas. 432 00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:44,900 But why would he want to kill me? 433 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,902 I-I didn't even know the man. 434 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,383 Actually much harder to kill a person you know. 435 00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,211 Sometimes not even fun. 436 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,430 Well, You may not have known the man, b-but he knew your man. 437 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:55,824 The note? 438 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,782 That "T" stands for Thomas. 439 00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,656 My son and your bootlegger boyfriend were lovers. 440 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,615 I mean, it's not not juicy. 441 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,661 So you're saying your son was having an affair with Earl 442 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,358 and that's why he killed Alberta? 443 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,839 Whose son? There's no son on the board. 444 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,101 Wait, so you're saying... 445 00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:14,190 Earl was two-timing me with Thomas? 446 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,757 HETTY: Do you remember the fight, 447 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:18,064 the one that you thought was a dispute over a bootlegging deal? 448 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,543 Well, that's not what it was about. 449 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:24,200 Thomas was upset that Earl would not 450 00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,811 break things off with you as he had promised. 451 00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:29,423 Instead, that night Earl broke things off with Thomas. 452 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:33,253 That rhyme. Promise, Thomas. [chuckles] 453 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,907 Not most important thing right now but still noteworthy. 454 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,823 While still reeling, someone handed my son 455 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,477 a bottle of poisoned booze. 456 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:41,696 He was spurned, 457 00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,089 he was heartbroken, 458 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,612 and he lashed out at the woman he blamed 459 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,875 for his unhappiness, you. 460 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,356 Hetty, you've known this this whole time and never told me? 461 00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:52,098 Yes, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry, Alberta. 462 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:56,145 No, I'm sorry. Sorry I ever considered you to be a friend. 463 00:16:58,321 --> 00:16:59,409 I know it's not the time, 464 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,237 but I always thought that Thomas was gay 465 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,500 so I do consider this a personal victory. 466 00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:06,502 Again, acknowledged, not the time. 467 00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:07,765 But very vindicating. 468 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,550 TREVOR: Sam, we're sorry. 469 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,681 You sent a scammer 470 00:17:10,811 --> 00:17:12,291 $1,000 of our money? 471 00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:13,728 PETE: Well, we'll make it up to you, somehow. 472 00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,164 We could rob a bank. 473 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,079 I'm admitting it now. I've done it. 474 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,253 It's not that hard. 475 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,777 TREVOR: I don't want to point fingers, 476 00:17:19,907 --> 00:17:21,170 but it all started with Pete begging me 477 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,041 to set him up an email account.Oh, come on. 478 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,086 He's addicted to gentle comedy. 479 00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:25,782 The man's got a problem.Busted. 480 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,611 You guys are idiots. 481 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,439 Wait, what's happening? 482 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,311 I got a fraud alert on my phone an hour ago. 483 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,790 I cancelled the transfer. 484 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,314 So we didn't lose any of your money? 485 00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:35,967 No. But... 486 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,882 And I can't believe I have to keep saying this, 487 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,449 stop using the computer 488 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,798 and never go into our bank accounts. 489 00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,452 PETE: Absolutely. 490 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,975 I'm done with Reader's Digest. 491 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,368 I'll get my zingers elsewhere. 492 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,631 Look, don't beat yourselves up too much. 493 00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,851 A lot of people do fall for these computer scams. 494 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,505 Usually they're older people, 495 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:54,116 but I guess you guys are old, in a way. 496 00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,554 T-Money isn't old. You take that back. 497 00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:58,686 You seen these thighs? 498 00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,427 33 forever, babe. 499 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,516 Yeah, we've both got great thighs. 500 00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,865 Couple of thigh guys. 501 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,258 Shut up, Pete.Right. 502 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,869 Alberta. 503 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,392 I don't have anything to say to you, Hetty. 504 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:10,698 Look... 505 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,830 first you were just an acquaintance, 506 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,397 whom my son had murdered. 507 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,356 And then later you became a dear, dear friend... 508 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:17,748 [exhales shakily] 509 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,707 whom my son had murdered. 510 00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,622 Oh. 511 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:24,538 There just never seemed to be the right time to bring it up. 512 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,583 Is this you trying to apologize? 513 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:29,108 Because I got to tell you, you're very bad at this. 514 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,197 SASAPPIS: What did she say? 515 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,155 Can't really hear anything. 516 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,287 You got to move in closer. 517 00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:36,724 Idiots, your heads are through the wall. 518 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:40,031 Oh. [chuckles] Okay if we stay? 519 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:40,771 No. 520 00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:43,818 Okay. Sorry. 521 00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:45,515 [sighs] The thing is, Alberta, 522 00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:48,692 I was ashamed to have raised a man 523 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,781 that would do that to you. 524 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,914 So you just say this and you think it makes it all better? 525 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,960 Do you know how painful it's been 526 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:59,181 not knowing how I died for the last 100 years? 527 00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,270 No. No, I don't. 528 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,793 And I knew that telling you 529 00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:04,317 might-might fracture our friendship. 530 00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,579 Perhaps irreparably. 531 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,884 Then why'd you tell me? 532 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,364 I couldn't let you go on thinking 533 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,061 that your sister had betrayed you like that. 534 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,501 Well, I'm glad my sister didn't betray me. 535 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,633 But the person who's come to be like one did. 536 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,026 And I don't know 537 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,115 if I'll ever get over that. 538 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,596 So you're saying you don't forgive me. 539 00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:24,206 That's right. 540 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:25,642 NIGEL: What did she say? 541 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:28,558 I don't know, I couldn't quite make it out. 542 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,169 NIGEL: I fear you're through the door. 543 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,300 Hmm? 544 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,433 Oh, yes, 545 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,870 I can see them. They're staring at me. 546 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,177 They do not seem pleased. 547 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:44,705 TREVOR: Who cares if Sam called us old? 548 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:46,228 I mean, maybe it's the best of both worlds. 549 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,840 We get to be old, but we still look young and hot. 550 00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,625 A couple of young thigh guys. 551 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,018 Hey, should we get a rack for these four guns? 552 00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,107 Guns are arms. You know what? Just stop comparing our limbs. 553 00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:57,718 Trevor's right. 554 00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,633 I mean, yeah, maybe we got tricked, 555 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:02,026 but it didn't even end up costing us. 556 00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:03,767 And we learned a valuable lesson, you know? 557 00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,291 If something seems too good to be true, 558 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,683 it probably is. 559 00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,250 Exactly. We're not gonna fall 560 00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:10,339 for one of those scams again. 561 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,298 Because unlike actual old people, 562 00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,777 we still got our wits about us. 563 00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:15,475 Hey, look. 564 00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,216 It's that guy from that old TV show. 565 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:18,956 He's doing commercials now? 566 00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:21,176 TV ANNOUNCER: Unlock the power of a reverse mortgage. 567 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,222 What's a reverse mortgage? 568 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,919 TV ANNOUNCER: You get the cash you need now 569 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,356 and you get to stay in the home you love. 570 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,140 Hold up, they pay you for your house 571 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,968 but you get to keep it? 572 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:33,623 Uh, sign me up. 573 00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,103 You know who we should sign up? 574 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,974 ALL: Sam and Jay! 575 00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:38,237 [laughter] 576 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,542 They're gonna love this. 577 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,116 Captioning sponsored by CBS 578 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,162 and TOYOTA. 579 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:55,254 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org