1
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,842
I can't believe this.
2
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,145
Yeah, it's a weird
thing to see.
3
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,147
Just be glad
they put your body in bag.
4
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,748
That not happen to Thor.
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,352
Slowly watched my own body
decompose over many years.
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,820
You've said all this before.
7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,722
Not to her! She new here.
8
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,657
Is very good story.
That should do it.
9
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,127
Just need you to sign here
and initial here.
10
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,395
It's just so sad.
11
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,662
We knew the family.
12
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:29,930
Yeah, it's rough.
13
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,032
And just to reiterate,
14
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,168
we did not provide
the donut holes.
15
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,970
The deceased brought them
to the party.
16
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:38,372
Not to victim blame.
17
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:39,840
Mm. Kind of sounds like you are.
18
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,510
Peter, how are you managing
this turn of events?
19
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,378
Well, I'll admit,
I was pretty steamed
20
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,513
when I realized
I was gonna have to
21
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:46,914
spend eternity with Carol.
22
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,782
Because of the fact
that she cuckolded you
23
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,718
with your best friend Jerry.
24
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,120
Right, but...
25
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,921
I've been thinking about it,
26
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,824
and it's not healthy
to dwell in the past.
27
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,226
You know what,
I'm sorry, I believe
28
00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:00,261
it was actually Jerry
that cuckolded you.
29
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:01,562
Carol just cheated.
30
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,732
Even in these difficult times,
we must be precise.
31
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,767
Yes, thank you
for that attention to detail,
32
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,970
but the larger point I'm making
is that I'm fine.
33
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,706
So you're not gonna
confront her about it?
34
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,575
Well, I don't think
she realizes that I know.
35
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:15,876
And if that's the case,
36
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:18,946
why make her transition
to the afterlife any harder?
37
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:21,282
She's got a lot on her plate.
38
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,451
One less donut hole
than before.
39
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,420
I should not be
laughing at that.
No. No.
40
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,356
I mean, I'm filled
with anger toward her,
41
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,224
but I-I'm trying to swallow it.
42
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:33,127
Hopefully better than she
swallowed that tiny confection.
43
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,063
Hetty, you're bad.
I am bad.
44
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:43,003
So, uh, we have
some bad news.
45
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,005
Yeah, I heard about
the dead lady.
46
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,141
A lot of people did,
including our main investor,
47
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,242
who feels like,
48
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,943
in combination
with the finance bro
49
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,812
we fished out of
the lake last year...
50
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:52,913
Epic.
51
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,615
...it's just
too many dead bodies
52
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,784
for her taste,
and she's pulling her funding.
53
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,118
Oh, man, this is not good.
54
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,221
Mark getting bad news.
The tables have turned.
55
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,423
We'll get another investor,
we'll figure it out.
56
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,624
Hamilton would say
you could just
57
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,092
print the money,
and then he'd probably
58
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:07,228
go whoring,
which he did.
59
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,462
That's great,
but we need money now.
60
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,130
If we shut down,
we're gonna lose our crew,
61
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,265
and who knows
when we'll get them back.
62
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,300
Wait, what are you saying?
63
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,634
I'm saying,
64
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,303
if we don't come up
with, like, ten grand
65
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,804
to cover us
over the next couple weeks,
66
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,672
you can forget
about the restaurant.
67
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,808
And now we're back
to Mark delivering bad news.
68
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,376
All's right in the world again.
69
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,946
Hey, you know who's literally
got exactly $10,000?
70
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,315
Isaac,
71
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,016
from his biography you sold.
Right.
72
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,318
Sass is pointing out that
73
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,486
we gave Isaac that money
for the book advance.
74
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,755
Speaking of which,
have you looked at the draft
75
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,924
I gave you to read yet?
Uh...
76
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,959
Jay, it's been on your
nightstand for the last week.
77
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,828
I've been really busy
with the restaurant.
78
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,162
He was on TikTok
for, like, an hour,
79
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,864
watching people unclog drains.
80
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,234
It is oddly satisfying.
So good.
81
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,402
I promise I will soon, babe.
82
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,637
Now, in the meantime,
83
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,672
let's go get
that Founding Farter
84
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,241
and save our restaurant.
85
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:54,808
Sounds like we have
our book title.
86
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,377
Not a good start, Jay,
87
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,078
but I am intrigued.
88
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,513
I once turned down
the opportunity
89
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,148
to be part owner in a tavern,
90
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:02,983
and I always regretted it.
91
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,385
Oh! Isaac's interested, Jay.
92
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,486
They were known
93
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,554
for their horse pie.
94
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,121
They put cinnamon in it.
95
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,857
The name of the horse
was Cinnamon.
96
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,492
T-Money time out.
97
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,528
As your financial advisor, I
need to advise you against this.
98
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,196
The restaurant business
is very risky.
99
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,998
Well, we'll pay you right back.
100
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,767
We just need to get
through the next couple weeks.
101
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:20,868
What's happening?
102
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,169
Is the ghost that
we gave the money to
103
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,004
not gonna give it back to us?
104
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,439
No, he will, Jay.
105
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,840
Not if he listens
to the Wharton grad
106
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,342
he looks to
to make these decisions.
107
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,611
Oh, did you go to Wharton?
Haven't heard you mention that.
108
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,480
Samantha, I would love
to help you out,
109
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:36,016
but I'm sorry, I must heed
Trevor's financial advice.
110
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:38,018
It's not that
I don't believe in you,
111
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,254
it's just...
No, it's that.
112
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,690
In his defense, you two
aren't great at business.
113
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,057
I mean, you gave $10,000
114
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,126
to a ghost.
Exactly.
115
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,396
So, you see, Carol,
116
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,698
aside from not being able
to touch things
117
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:52,466
or leave the property,
we actually lead
118
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,034
a pretty normal existence here.
119
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,869
And, yes,
ghosts can have sex.
120
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:56,970
What?
121
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,872
She was gonna get there
eventually,
122
00:03:58,972 --> 00:03:59,973
I thought I'd cut
to the chase.
123
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,542
The ghosts date each other?
124
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,044
There is some of that
going on, yes.
125
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,679
Isaac and Nigel are engaged.
126
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,348
I was consorting with Trevor
127
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:08,749
and a washing machine.
128
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,184
And Thor was with Flower.
129
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,554
She get sucked off.
130
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,424
Well...
good for her, I guess.
131
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:20,561
Yes, good for Flower,
but very painful for Thor.
132
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,095
Jerry always used a pillow.
133
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,397
Anyway, what about you, Pete?
134
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,399
Are you dating anyone?
135
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:28,135
Oh, uh, me?
136
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,770
I know this could be
a little awkward to talk about,
137
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,772
but it's been 40 years.
138
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,241
It's okay if
you've moved on.
139
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,243
In fact, it would be weird
if you hadn't.
140
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,611
Yeah. Very weird.
141
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,415
This is painful to watch.
Yeah.
142
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,651
What do we think Carol has
in that big purse of hers?
143
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,152
If there's a God, cocaine.
144
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,054
Do people keep pizza
in their purses?
145
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,456
We'll find out
when we look for the cocaine.
146
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:51,592
So... you seeing anyone
currently?
147
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,495
You bet I am. Yeah, big-time.
148
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,630
Oh. What's her name?
149
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:57,865
Name? Uh, well,
you know, let me,
150
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,132
let me check with her first.
151
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,668
Uh, just of respect,
you know.
152
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:02,035
I-I can't wait
to tell you about it,
153
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,537
'cause she is real...
154
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,739
really...
155
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,008
Carol, I don't believe
you have seen the mansion yet,
156
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,310
and I would love
to give you a tour.
157
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,346
Yes, and we can learn more
about your purse in the process.
158
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,014
Person. I said "person."
159
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,016
Thank you.
So tell us
about your interests.
160
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,652
Greasy foods? Stimulants?
161
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,488
Good grits!
162
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,556
I'm really up a creek this time.
163
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,858
Will one of you pretend
to be my girlfriend?
164
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:28,396
Are we really
singing this song again?
165
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,998
Why is that always
your first move?
166
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,634
I just don't want Carol knowing
I spent the first 40 years
167
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,636
of my afterlife
being loyal to her,
168
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,971
when she wasn't even loyal to me
while we were married.
169
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,139
It's humiliating.
170
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,374
You should've just
bit the bullet
171
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:41,709
and told her the truth.
172
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:42,943
There's plenty of time
173
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,144
for Monday-morning
quarterbacking, Nancy.
174
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,513
We are where we are.
175
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,381
Now, will you be
my fake girlfriend or not?
176
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,883
No, I'm not doing it.
I've served my time.
177
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,118
Alberta? Please?
178
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,053
I-I don't think that's
a good idea, Pete.
179
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,922
You know, there's history.
180
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:58,025
Like when Pete try to kiss you
and you facepalm him.
181
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,760
I think we all knew
what she was referring to.
182
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,463
Just very funny to talk about.
183
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,533
Are we really
taking Isaac's money?
184
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:06,834
This feels wrong.
185
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,235
No, babe, what was wrong was
186
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:12,172
us giving an invisible person
$10,000 in the first place.
187
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,341
Samantha,
I've been thinking about it,
188
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,644
and to hell with Trevor.
189
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:19,413
It's my money and I want to
help you guys out.
190
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,148
Besides, we're only
borrowing Isaac's money.
191
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,583
Wait.
192
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,518
Are you stealing my money?
193
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,286
Nope, no.
We're not stealing.
194
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,888
That's it,
you say it out loud
195
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,189
and it feels true, right?
196
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,691
Jay, Isaac's in here.
197
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,893
God, I wish
we could put a bell on them.
198
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,234
I'm confused. You want to see
what's in my purse?
199
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,003
Carol,
you died with your purse,
200
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,205
which means everything in it
is stuff we can touch.
201
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:49,510
Let's see. Receipts.
Tissues. Some candy.
202
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,944
My keys.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
203
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,245
What type of candy?
Nose candy?
204
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,215
Butterscotch. Here, try it.
205
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,085
Oh. What the heck?
206
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:01,121
Once you let go of an item,
it zaps back to you.
207
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,923
It's ghost rules.
208
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,958
So you can only touch it
if I'm also touching it?
209
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,259
That is correct.
210
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,360
There you guys are.
211
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,629
We were thinking about
going for a walk.
212
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:09,630
Oh, you should come, Carol.
213
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,399
Sure. I'll come.
214
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,067
Will your girlfriend be
joining us, Pete?
215
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,303
Um, my-my girlfriend?
216
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,871
Uh...
217
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,640
N-No, she's, uh,
she's not here right now.
218
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:20,808
But I thought
219
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,643
we couldn't leave the property.
Right.
220
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,813
But, uh, you know, the thing
with my girlfriend is, um...
221
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,348
Uh, h-how do I put this?
Pete.
222
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,617
It's fine.
223
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,284
You can tell her about us.
224
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,920
I-I can?
225
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:36,590
You're dating Alberta.
226
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,626
I asked Pete
not to say anything.
227
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,093
We just wanted to
make sure you were okay
228
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,495
to adjust to the afterlife,
229
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,497
before we rubbed
our relationship in your face.
230
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,232
Ooh...
231
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,100
Every time she touches me,
it's like the first time.
232
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,301
Happy for you two.
233
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,237
So, if we could just
circle back to the candy.
234
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,506
If you were to hold it,
235
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,274
then we could suck on it
that way.
236
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,778
With her fingers in our mouth
and the candy in her fingers.
237
00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,213
Sasappis! That's just
genius enough to work.
238
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,016
I think I'm gonna go
get some air.
239
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,185
Between your toes is also
a possibility.
240
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,887
We're willing to work with you!
Carol!
241
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,822
Carol!
242
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,290
Oh, my God, Alberta.
I can't thank you enough.
243
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,458
I'm happy to help you out.
244
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,093
But just remember,
this is not one of
245
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,628
your '80s romantic comedies
where we pretend to date
246
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:15,829
and fall in love for real.
247
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,430
Of course.
I-I wasn't even thinking that.
248
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:18,799
Yeah.
249
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,834
He was definitely thinking it.
250
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,536
I mean, you did say
some nice things about me
251
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,171
that seemed to come
from a genuine place.
252
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,273
Pete.
Yeah, yeah, no, no.
Just friends. Got it.
253
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,475
Isaac.
254
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,810
I'm sorry.
255
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,378
The restaurant means so much
to Jay.
256
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,913
We just didn't know
what else to do.
257
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,214
Samantha...
The money's gone, Sam.
258
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,652
Sergeant Fartypants' account
is totally cleared out.
259
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,087
Wh-What do you mean gone?
260
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,055
Also, Isaac is in here,
you should know.
261
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,925
And I was a captain.
It's Captain Fartypants.
262
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,194
Which he would know
if he had read my book.
263
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,063
How does $10,000 just disappear?
264
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,599
Relax.
265
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:54,367
I moved the money
into a brokerage account.
What?
266
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,004
Trevor said he moved it
into a brokerage account.
267
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,672
You think I'm gonna sit back
and let my boy collect
268
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,007
two percent like a chump?
269
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,509
I know better than that.
I went to Wharton.
270
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,344
We know, Trev!
271
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:05,478
So, where is the money now?
272
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:06,814
It's safe and sound.
I'll show you guys.
273
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,348
I just need a minute to log in.
274
00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,384
And some privacy.
275
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,886
Trevor wants us
to stand over there.
276
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,755
He doesn't want us
to see his password.
277
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,357
Sure.
278
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,137
Done.
Wait,
that can't be right.
279
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,405
Does that say $200,000?
280
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:35,208
I'm rich.
281
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,744
I could buy Delaware twice over.
282
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,111
I wouldn't want to, but I could.
283
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,980
Trevor, this is amazing!
284
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,249
Just a little taste of what
I was like when I was alive.
285
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,383
Was it natural talent,
286
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,584
or skill
287
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,286
that I developed
at the country's most elite...
288
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,121
Babe, it's nosediving.
289
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,058
Lower than zero?
How can it go lower than zero?
290
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,492
Well, technically,
when you short an option,
291
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,327
there's no limit
to how much you can lose.
292
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,496
Wait. W-Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So now I owe them $48,000?
293
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,765
No, you're fine.
294
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,767
Jay owes them $48,000.
295
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,234
It's going back up.
What is this stock?
296
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,104
"Norwegian Cattle Futures"?
297
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,139
Sell! Sell! Sell!
Sam, just press
298
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,440
that little red button
there that says "sell."
299
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,476
"You have successfully
300
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,778
executed a trade."
301
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,246
$187,000!
302
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,315
Oh...!
303
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,717
Babe, this changes everything.
304
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,085
We could pay
for the whole restaurant now.
305
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,386
The good chairs,
the custom oven.
306
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:22,222
No cutting corners.
This is the dream!
307
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,590
Need I remind you, Samantha,
308
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:26,226
that that money belongs to moi.
309
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,561
I'm gonna get the tufted
cushions for the booths.
310
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,263
I thought you said
you had reconsidered,
311
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,464
and you were gonna
give us the money.
312
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,465
What's happening?
313
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,267
I do recall saying that,
314
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,036
but then I remember walking in
315
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,638
and finding you
committing a robbery.
Isaac!
316
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,507
Don't you "Isaac" me.
You will get nothing.
317
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,609
Your cushions will have
no tufts.
318
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,244
No tufts!
319
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:47,681
We're back to
not getting the money again,
320
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,449
aren't we?
Mm-hmm.
321
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,151
He picks up
on a lot of stuff
322
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,485
from context.
323
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,721
It's impressive.
324
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,956
So, how did this thing start?
325
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,524
I want the whole story.
326
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,792
Oh.
Well,
327
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,060
I guess it started a few...
328
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,129
weeks ago.
Years. Ago.
329
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,496
What?
Uh...
330
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,767
212 weeks,
which adds up to years.
331
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,201
So... it tracks.
332
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,303
Ooh, speaking of time,
if it's 3:30,
333
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,539
that means Jay's
peeling a Cutie downstairs
334
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:13,774
and I never miss that.
335
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:14,908
Excuse me.
336
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,644
Bye, babe.
337
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:20,814
Alberta seems great.
338
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,850
I'm a lucky guy.
339
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,017
There he is.
340
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,485
My sexy...
341
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,387
little scoutmaster.
342
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:31,358
Now come on and
give mama some sugar.
343
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:34,594
I felt bad, so I'm here now.
344
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,363
You're welcome.
345
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,999
I'm just, I...
I am really confused.
346
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,533
What about Alberta?
347
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:41,769
Alberta?
348
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,003
Yeah, yes,
349
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,571
because I've been dating Alberta
for a while,
350
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,006
as you know, Nancy.
351
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,776
Right. Right.
352
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:52,345
Well, I guess now you know...
353
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,147
I'm Pete's mistress.
354
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,450
I see.
Y-Yes.
355
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,419
That's right. I've been...
356
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,922
dating Alberta for quite
some time, but, um...
357
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,758
I'm also stepping out on her
358
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,027
with this lovely lady.
Yeah.
359
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,429
I have to say,
I am shocked.
360
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,032
I just never thought of you
as the cheating type.
361
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,567
Well, I am, apparently.
You know?
362
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,069
It's a lot to keep straight,
363
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:19,239
but the heart wants
what the heart wants.
364
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:22,442
Well, when your heart wants
what's under this sack,
365
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,845
you know where to find me.
366
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,114
Bye, babe.
367
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:28,681
I call her that, too.
368
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,751
You know, I might be able
to help you out there.
369
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,686
I know a thing or two
about affairs.
370
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,755
Oh, do you?
Well, that's news to me.
371
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,325
Well, I don't know
from experience, obviously.
372
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,460
But I watch
a lot of soap operas.
373
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,230
Right, you know about cheating
from your soaps.
374
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,632
So I can coach you.
375
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:48,768
Well, that's just about
the best thing I've ever heard.
376
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,971
You teaching me
about infidelity.
377
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,105
Don't worry.
378
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,408
Follow my lead,
you'll never get busted.
379
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,247
SAMANTHA
Isaac, we have a preposition
for you.
380
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,449
What if, instead of you just
giving us the money,
381
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,986
we made you an actual partner
in our restaurant?
382
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,588
I don't know, Sam.
You know, Trevor was suggesting
383
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:12,059
that I invest my funds in
something called a Lamborghini.
384
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,794
Apparently,
it's some sort of cat magnet,
385
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,330
which I find very interesting,
as a man of science.
386
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,132
Isaac, I-I know
you're upset with us,
387
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,634
but you've always
wanted to own a tavern,
388
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,337
and this way you get to have
your dream and Jay gets his.
389
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,606
And this title of partner,
390
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,808
would that mean
I have true input?
391
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:32,245
Yes, you would have input.
Right, Jay?
392
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,947
Isaac would have some input.
393
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,648
I mean, yeah, sure,
394
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,784
but I don't want you
to work too hard.
395
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,286
You got to rest in peace.
396
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,154
No, no, no. 'Tis no bother.
397
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,255
Now, obviously,
398
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,324
ambience is of
the utmost importance.
399
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:47,660
So, for lighting,
I'm thinking whale oil lamps.
400
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,530
Oh, h-he wants
us to use whale oil lamps.
401
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,400
I'm definitely sure that
that is super illegal.
But...
402
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,069
maybe we can do
something close to that.
403
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,537
Right? For our partner.
404
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,673
Yeah, I'm sure we can find
another inefficient way
405
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,476
to light the restaurant
that doesn't break maritime law.
406
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,146
Excellent. Now, on the floors,
I'm thinking sawdust.
407
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,215
Of course we don't want to
encourage the patrons
408
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,450
urinating on the floor,
but when they do,
409
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,952
we'll be ready.
410
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,320
Oh, did people pee a lot
on the floor
411
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,222
back in your day?
Yeah.
412
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:16,556
What? What is he saying now?
413
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,658
He wants us to put sawdust
on the floor.
414
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,160
Now, let's talk name.
415
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,496
How do we feel about...
Higgintoot's?
416
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,165
Oh, h-he's not gonna like that.
417
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,399
What am I not gonna like?
418
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:29,302
Or...
"Isaac's House of Horse Pie."
419
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,571
It does put a lot of pressure
on the horse pie,
420
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,340
but I believe Jay can do it.
421
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,508
Uh, Jay, what do you think about
422
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,977
calling the place Higgintoot's?
423
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,912
Mm. Well, I mean,
424
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,680
are we naming
an Indian restaurant
425
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:43,250
or a men's clothing store
on a Dr. Seuss book?
426
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,351
Excuse me?
427
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:45,919
We are not doing
any of this.
428
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,087
This is insane.
429
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,421
Well, then I'm afraid
we have no deal.
430
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,057
Well, then he says
we can't have the money.
431
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,425
Who says that, Sam? Huh?
432
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,626
I don't see anyone.
433
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,028
Jay.
No.
434
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,564
I'm sorry, Sam.
This is crazy.
435
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,299
We're negotiating with a ghost.
436
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,568
I'm not using whale blubber.
437
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,370
I'm not pee-proofing the floors.
438
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,706
And I'm definitely not
naming my restaurant after him.
439
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,808
He's not even
a real person, Sam.
440
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,944
Oh, I see.
441
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,445
So now I'm not even real.
442
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,680
He doesn't mean that.
443
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,782
No, no, no, Sam.
Why would you listen to me?
444
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:18,018
I was nothing in life,
and I guess I'm a nothing now.
445
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,252
It's not true, Isaac.
446
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,620
Samantha,
447
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,689
why don't you just let Jay
take all of the money,
448
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,958
because clearly
that's all he cares about
449
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,293
when it comes to me.
450
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,695
Now, if you'll excuse me...
451
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,300
How's that for real?
452
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,501
He got me.
453
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,807
I took a bath in tomato sauce,
454
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:41,975
so hopefully that got
the Isaac smell out.
455
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,343
Good night, Jay.
456
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,312
What? What's wrong?
457
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,214
Isaac was really upset.
458
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,016
Yeah, I know,
babe, I feel bad,
459
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,483
but it's my restaurant.
460
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:51,818
Yeah, we all know
it's your restaurant,
461
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,054
and kind of the only thing
you care about right now.
462
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,223
What does that mean?
It just means,
463
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,690
there are other people
in this house,
464
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,759
and they also have things
that are important to them.
465
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:00,994
Huh?
466
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,347
Three more unclogging videos,
then I dive in.
467
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,682
So, yeah, a lot of people think
the hardest part about cheating
468
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,518
is the guilt,
but in my experience--
469
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,087
uh, you know,
watching soaps...
470
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,521
Right, the soaps
you love so much.
471
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,990
The biggest issue is logistics.
472
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,159
So you need a good cover.
473
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,360
Something innocuous
474
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,328
that you can tell Alberta
you're doing
475
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,264
when what you're really doing
is Nancy,
476
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,331
if you know what I mean.
477
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,932
Oh, I do. I do.
478
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,368
Hey there, Pete.
479
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:42,669
I was thinking later
480
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,904
you and I could take
a nice romantic stroll.
481
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,440
The-the thing is...
482
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:49,909
Pete and I have plans.
483
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,644
He's gonna be showing me
the ghost boundary.
484
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,381
Oh, okay. No problem.
485
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,784
I'll catch you later,
hot stuff.
486
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,719
You're welcome.
487
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,555
No. I'm not welcome.
488
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,291
I don't want your help cheating,
Carol.
489
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,958
What?
490
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,227
I know where you're getting
all your advice
491
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,395
and it's not your soaps.
492
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,163
It's from your affair
with Jerry.
493
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,132
Pete, I don't know
what you're talking about.
494
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,566
Save it. I know.
495
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,001
I've known about
you and Jerry
496
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,304
since I heard you talking
about it with Sam two years ago.
497
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,638
Well, as you yourself
should know,
498
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:19,872
these things happen.
499
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,108
I should probably excuse myself,
500
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,242
but this is getting
pretty juicy.
501
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:23,610
No, I don't know, Carol,
502
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,412
'cause I'm not a cheater
like you.
503
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,880
Well, what about Alberta and
that little potato sack girl?
504
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,817
They were pretending so that
I wouldn't look like a loser.
505
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,585
The truth is,
I don't have a girlfriend.
506
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,587
I haven't had a girlfriend
since I died
507
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,589
'cause I was staying loyal
to my wife!
508
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:37,990
So, if that makes me pathetic,
509
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,992
then fine, Carol, you win.
510
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,594
I'm pathetic.
511
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,130
But you...
512
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,297
you suck.
513
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,767
Not sure if this is
the best time, Carol,
514
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,769
but we think
we've lit upon a solution
515
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,439
to this candy business
that might satisfy all parties.
516
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,107
What we're thinking is,
you hold your hand
517
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,708
with the candy
through a wall,
518
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,310
and then we lick it
from the privacy
519
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,312
of a different room.
No eye contact.
520
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,980
No problem.
521
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,552
I think
it may have been a bad time.
522
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:06,786
Yeah.
523
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,622
Okay, uh...
524
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,291
I'm sure you're all wondering
why I asked Sam
525
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,160
to gather you here.
Well,
526
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,761
allow me to explain.
527
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,965
We're here today
to talk about
528
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:21,634
my partner in this endeavor,
529
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,304
Isaac Higgintoot.
530
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:25,472
Oh.
531
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,840
Born 1742,
532
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,009
to Harold and
Mary Higginbottom,
533
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,211
who later changed their name
534
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,712
due to some
outstanding bank debts.
535
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,614
Aw, he read the book.
536
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,316
They chose Higgintoot?
537
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,784
Mm-hmm.
Isaac excelled
538
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:40,187
as an officer and attorney,
539
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:43,156
a barber
and a squirrel taxidermist.
540
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,691
There weren't a lot of people
back then,
541
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,493
so you had to wear
a lot of hats.
542
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,028
And yet,
he was never fully appreciated
543
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,230
in his time.
544
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,531
So here,
545
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,001
at our restaurant,
in the center
546
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,437
will sit Isaac's table.
547
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,706
And it'll always be open
for Isaac and his friends,
548
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,575
because even though
you're not alive,
549
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,244
you're real to us.
550
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,512
Aw!
551
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,380
What a touching gesture
552
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,716
and characteristically
stupid business decision.
553
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,218
They dumber than Danes,
554
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,619
but I do love them.
555
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,521
Anyways, um,
556
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:15,922
I can see now
557
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,624
that what I said was
really insensitive,
558
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,091
and I'm sorry, Isaac.
559
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:21,093
Thank you, Jay.
And I'm honored.
560
00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,029
Although, I will be laughing
when you're cleaning up
561
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,397
all that urine
562
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,434
the sawdust could've soaked up.
563
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:31,037
Isaac is very appreciative, Jay.
564
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:32,071
So am I.
565
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,440
Well, before I say
anything else,
566
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,007
is that book, like, "done done"?
567
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,709
'Cause I did have
some structure thoughts.
568
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,245
Don't ruin this.
I loved it.
569
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,012
I loved the structure.
570
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,654
Hey. Sorry about making
a big scene in there.
571
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:48,988
I-I didn't mean to blow up
like that.
572
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,557
Oh, don't apologize to me.
573
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:51,858
I was proud of you.
574
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,026
I did want to thank you
for helping me out.
575
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,329
Obviously it didn't work,
but I appreciate it.
576
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,697
You're welcome.
577
00:19:57,797 --> 00:20:00,132
And for what it's worth,
you're not pathetic.
578
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,768
Carol cheated.
She's pathetic.
579
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,836
You stayed loyal to your wife,
even in death,
580
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,438
and there's no shame in that.
581
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,206
Thanks, pal.
582
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,208
Sheesh,
this darn arrow gets so itchy.
583
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,611
People forget there's
fiberglass in the shaft.
584
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,827
♪ If you were here ♪
585
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,363
♪ I could deceive you. ♪
586
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:32,965
Well,
587
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,467
thanks again for your...
help.
588
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,304
See you around,
basset hound.
589
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,580
Captioning sponsored by
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590
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,583
and TOYOTA.
591
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:51,884
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