1
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:09,531
Hey, babe? The Millers
left this in their room.
2
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,098
It's a bag of stuff from
the Natural History Museum.
3
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:13,013
Aww.
4
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:15,450
It's a little T-Rex and a
pop-up book about dinosaurs.
5
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:16,668
I'll mail it to them.
6
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,975
My, how far we've fallen
that museums
7
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:22,283
have stooped to trafficking
in fantastical creations.
8
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:24,763
Wait. Isaac, do you not know
that dinosaurs were real?
9
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,243
- What?
-Samantha,
10
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,332
much like that green cardigan
you wore last Monday,
11
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,204
japery doesn't
look good on you.
12
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,727
Interesting.
13
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,729
Dinosaurs weren't
discovered until the 1800s.
14
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:34,991
So, the Founding Fathers
15
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,862
wouldn't have even
known about them.
16
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:38,951
You mean to tell me
that ferocious creatures
17
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,084
the size of houses
once roamed this earth?
18
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:42,694
Did you know about this?
19
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,305
Yes, but only because
I pay attention.
20
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,350
Oh. Hi.
21
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:47,873
Hello!
22
00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:49,484
Welcome to Woodstone Mansion.
23
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:51,094
Holy crap.
24
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:54,489
Uh, I have a reservation
under Jeremy Lefkowitz.
25
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,012
My baby bro.
26
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,449
Oh, God, there's another.
27
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,234
- Jeremy Lefkowitz.
- Wait, you're Trevor's brother.
28
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:02,410
W-We held his memorial here
last year.
29
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,629
Yeah, I wanted
to come, but...
30
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,805
I just think I wasn't ready
to really accept the fact
31
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,198
that Trevor was really gone.
32
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:09,591
It was just too painful.
33
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,462
It's okay, buddy.
34
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,812
Aww, he's still sad you're dead.
That's nice.
35
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:16,293
Who cares?
Monsters are real?
36
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,860
You know, I always
held out hope
37
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,949
that maybe he just
made a boatload
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,820
and took some hottie
to the Maldives
39
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,822
and set up some
sort of tax dodge.
40
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:25,259
That's a nice thought.
41
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,434
But I wouldn't bring a babe,
then you're stuck with her.
42
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:27,522
Tell him that, Sam.
43
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,437
Tell him you don't
bring sand to the beach.
44
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,134
Hey, Jeremy, can I interest you
45
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,223
in signing up for
our Woodstone Rewards program?
46
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:35,138
Oh, I'm actually
already a member.
47
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:37,053
Are you sure?
Because it's free to join and...
48
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,664
Oh. Wait a minute.
I don't have to do that.
49
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,927
Okay, let me show you
- to your room.
- Great. Thank you.
50
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,540
What about unicorns?
51
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,019
Very real.
52
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,195
I knew it.
53
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,332
There you are,
Pete.
54
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:56,942
Want to take a stroll
around the grounds,
55
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,857
put those young calves to work?
56
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:00,555
You know what?
I-I'm good.
57
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:01,947
The calves and I are just
watching a little Bake Off.
58
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:04,907
Was your skin
always this taut?
59
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,084
Yep. P-Pretty much.
60
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,390
Well, see you around.
61
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,872
Seems like Carol desire
intercourse with Pete.
62
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,439
Yeah, it's nuts.
63
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,659
That woman has been after me
like I'm a Tuesday flight
64
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,139
and she's a traveler
on a budget.
65
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:22,316
Historically the
cheapest day to fly.
66
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,753
It's because she saw you
stand up for yourself.
67
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,233
And learned that you were loyal,
68
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,191
- even in death.
-Also...
69
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,237
Pete does have
very shapely calves.
70
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,239
He monster with
arrow through neck,
71
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,631
so we often forget that.
72
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,285
Just tell her
you're not interested, Pete.
73
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:36,765
I mean, you're not, right?
74
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,114
Well, it's not that simple.
75
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,116
I'm dealing with some
powerful temptations.
76
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,988
I mean, Carol and I would
fight like dogs all day,
77
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:45,861
but at night...
we made music.
78
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,384
Loud music.
79
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:50,518
Pete, this woman cheated on you
with your best friend.
80
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:51,780
You can't get back
with her.
81
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:52,868
I know, I know,
you're right.
82
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:54,826
Also, we share a room
83
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:58,134
and I cannot watch you two
play hide-the-arrow, all right?
84
00:02:58,265 --> 00:02:59,614
I will throw up.
85
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:02,138
If ghosts can throw up.
86
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,227
Thank you. That is exactly
what I needed to hear.
87
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,142
I mean, not the part
where the idea of me
88
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,709
being sexually active
repulsed you,
89
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:08,710
but the rest of it.
90
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,800
Don't worry. I'll be strong.
91
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,932
He's here for the weekend?
92
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,369
He certainly
doesn't pack light.
93
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,501
I once saw you pack
12 steamer trunks
94
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:18,937
for a week in Newport.
95
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,417
One of them
crushed a footman.
96
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,724
Oh, I was so worried about
the china in that trunk.
97
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,856
Thankfully, the footman
softened the blow.
98
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,075
He did not die in vain.
99
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,381
Hey, Jeremy.
100
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,426
As a valued
Woodstone Rewards member,
101
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,646
I brought you
some fresh towels.
102
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,822
- So, how you settling in?
-Great.
103
00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,780
You know, I'm glad
I finally made the trip.
104
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,479
Oh, my parents, they raved
about the memorial, by the way.
105
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:39,828
Especially my dad,
106
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,090
especially getting
to meet Tara Reid.
107
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,048
Oh, yeah, I remember.
108
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,354
He gave her his business card.
109
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,573
How'd that work out for him?
110
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,183
I think they're
actually texting now.
111
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,793
Lenny Lefkowitz.
112
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,361
For an alter kaker
in wholesale lighting supplies,
113
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:53,407
the guy's got game.
114
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,756
Wow, well, tell your dad
I said hello.
115
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,062
Um, actually, um...
116
00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:58,586
we're not really
speaking at the moment.
117
00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,196
Uh...
118
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,197
He kind of fired me.
119
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,764
What? Dad fired you?
120
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:03,765
But it's for the best.
121
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:06,333
I'd been there 15 years,
122
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,335
we were just butting heads
by the end,
123
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,119
so it was--
it was just time to go.
124
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,208
Wait, why would Dad fire J-Dog?
125
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,471
That doesn't make any sense.
126
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,038
Oh, God, I wish I could
just talk to him.
127
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:19,650
I'm sure Jay has some sort
of meaningful follow-up.
128
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,696
Well, let us know
if you need anything else.
129
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,001
- Come on.
- Come on!
130
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,133
-Really?
-Oh, you know what?
131
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,569
Actually, I'm gonna
get some lunch.
132
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,442
I'll take the bone-in ribeye
please and...
133
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:32,228
Oh, I'll take a-a bottle
of your 2010 Château Ausone.
134
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,491
Wow. Okay. We'll get that
right up to you.
135
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,973
He's unemployed,
yet he's ordering
136
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,888
the most expensive items
on the menu.
137
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,977
Something stinks in here.
138
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,283
Sort of like
your steamer trunk
139
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:44,762
by the time
you got back from Newport.
140
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:48,375
Mm, you really must scape
the footman off immediately.
141
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,465
Carol.
142
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,509
What are you doing here?
143
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,859
You've been hiding from me.
144
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:56,644
I think you should leave.
145
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:57,862
Pete, I just found out I died.
146
00:04:57,993 --> 00:05:00,082
I'm surrounded by strangers.
147
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,953
Could you please
just sit with me?
148
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,869
Sure, Carol. Oi yoi yoi.
149
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,133
I know how hard
this transition can be.
150
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,918
Thank you, Pete.
151
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,920
I feel better already.
152
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,139
Carol. What is your hand
doing on my knee?
153
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,490
Oh, sorry. Old habits.
154
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,578
Wow.
155
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,015
No clicking.
156
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:24,193
Your cartilage, it's
still so bountiful.
157
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,108
Okay, this was a mistake.
I'm leaving.
158
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,153
I have a butterscotch candy
in my purse.
159
00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,155
Butterscotch?
160
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,682
That's great, Carol, but
as soon as you give it to me,
161
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,074
it's just going to zap back
into your purse.
162
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,946
I-I won't even be able
to enjoy it.
163
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:41,689
No, actually, Sass and Hetty
had this wacky idea,
164
00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,431
that if I hold onto it,
you can suck on it.
165
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,302
But you'll also have
166
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,696
to suck my fingers a little.
167
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:51,089
It's been a while since
I've had a butterscotch.
168
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:55,093
In fact, it's been so long
since I tasted anything,
169
00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:56,573
I should probably
just take a look.
170
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,836
Have a taste.
171
00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:06,366
Oh!
172
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,019
You're so powerful.
173
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,891
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
174
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,414
Wow, look at that.
175
00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,111
Is this an old
Funyo gaming console?
176
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:15,287
You play Super Mega Bowl?
177
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,985
I recognize almost
none of those words.
178
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,204
It's a classic eight-bit
football video game.
179
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:20,989
Yeah, I love
Super Mega Bowl.
180
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,207
Trevor and I used to play.
181
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:24,819
Boom!
182
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,821
You just got sacked
by T-Money.
183
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:27,996
Whatever.
184
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,519
I still have time
to kick this field goal
185
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,695
and win the Lefkowitz
Family Championship.
186
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,131
You're gonna choke, Jeremy.
187
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,176
Just like you choked
188
00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:36,178
in the Camp Ramah gaga finals
189
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:37,571
in front of Rachel Horowitz.
190
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,106
Hey! No fair!
You wet-willied me!
191
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,107
T-Money!
192
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,543
I beat him all the time.
193
00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,806
- I beat him all the time.
- Hey, Jeremy.
194
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,547
Sorry to interrupt, I'm sure
it was just a mistake,
195
00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,288
but the credit card
you gave us was declined.
196
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,507
Break his thumbs, Sam.
197
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,639
Yeah, sorry, I-I should've
mentioned that
198
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,336
I'm gonna use Woodstone
Rewards points to pay for it.
199
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,555
Food, room,
200
00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:07,644
- the whole thing.
-Unfortunately,
201
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,517
there's no way you've
earned that many points yet.
202
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,606
Uh-huh. Well, you know how
you get a hundred points
203
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,477
when you sign up
for the mailing list?
204
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,523
Yeah, I created
the program.
205
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,481
I know how it works.
206
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,962
Right, well, usually there's
something in the rules
207
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,833
limiting how many
emails you can register,
208
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:24,400
but not in yours.
209
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:28,099
So, I registered 10,000
dummy email accounts
210
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,579
and now I got a million points!
211
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,059
This kid's a genius!
212
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,843
He's gonna do
big things one day.
213
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,629
He's older than my father
was when he died of old age.
214
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,848
Very shameful way to die.
215
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:38,936
Okay, so you tricked us
into a free weekend.
216
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,329
Congratulations.
217
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,418
Well, it's actually
gonna be, uh,
218
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:43,724
a little longer
than a weekend.
219
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,813
See, um, I'm having
a great time,
220
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,990
and I'm currently a little
cashflow "negativo,"
221
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,080
so I went online,
extended my reservation...
222
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,690
Where's this headed?
223
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,213
...and I'm gonna live here
for the next year,
224
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,345
and pay for it all
with the points.
225
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,651
Oh, God.
226
00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:00,741
Yes! Lefkowitz boys ride again!
227
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,052
Well, I just got off the phone
with the lawyer.
228
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:09,706
He says that if we don't
honor the rewards points,
229
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,055
we're opening ourselves up
to legal action.
230
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:14,058
Great. So it's settled.
J-Dog stays.
231
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,147
So, this guy is just
bleeding us dry for a year?
232
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,932
How are we gonna get rid of him?
233
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,151
A meteor got rid
- of the dinosaurs.
- How is that helpful?
234
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,849
It's not.
I just thought it was neat.
235
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,678
Elias and I once owned
a tenement building
236
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,810
that we thought would
make a wonderful factory.
237
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,986
But what to do about the
families who lived there
238
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,422
and were refusing
to move out?
239
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:33,687
Well, we brought in rats
and how they scurried.
240
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,079
The people, not the rats.
241
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:37,778
Okay, Hetty had a
very disturbing story,
242
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,519
but I think there's
an actionable takeaway.
243
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,217
What if we just make things
so uncomfortable for Jeremy
244
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,653
that he wants to leave?
245
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,134
That's a great idea.
We smoke him out.
246
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:47,701
Come on.
247
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,225
I've missed out on 25 years
of my brother's life.
248
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,488
I don't even know who
he's dated, where he's lived,
249
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:53,968
if he's a boob
or a butt guy.
250
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:56,144
Trevor, we can't afford
someone just living here
251
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,320
mooching and spending us
into oblivion.
252
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,017
This is so unfair.
253
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:05,980
Question. So you were just stuck
with a building full of rats?
254
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:09,070
It was a sausage factory,
so the problem solved itself.
255
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,073
Great news, everyone.
256
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,770
Carol and I are back together.
257
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:16,425
And he stayed strong
for almost a whole hour.
258
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,732
Congrats.
But she break
your heart before.
259
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,821
I-I know, but that
was in the past.
260
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,039
Things are gonna be
different this time.
261
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,563
There you are.
262
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:24,955
I thought we were
going for a walk.
263
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,391
It's almost 6:00.
264
00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:28,219
Well, it's 5:40,
my sugarplum.
265
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,047
That's not almost 6:00.
266
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:31,962
Well, I'm sorry, I thought
maybe we would leave early
267
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,704
so we could enjoy
the sunset together.
268
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:35,792
Fine. Let's
go on a walk now.
269
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,228
We'll probably be done
before 6:00,
270
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,447
and the rest of the night
will be chaos.
271
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,581
But whatever, let's go
enjoy a beautiful sunset.
272
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,234
What is your problem?
273
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,585
You're embarrassing me
in front of my friends!
274
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:48,370
Well, they seem like
they're off to a good start.
275
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,981
"...but the
Pachycephalosaurus fights back,
276
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:54,071
using its thick domed skull
as a battering ram."
277
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,336
Using its thick domed skull
as a battering ram...
278
00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,816
He wants you
to make it move.
279
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,818
Oh, right, sorry.
280
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,778
Sam, I am freezing.
281
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,475
Well, if we are freezing,
then Jeremy's freezing.
282
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,216
He won't be able to put up
with this for very long.
283
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,087
First the Wi-Fi
goes out,
284
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,480
then the hot water.
285
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,743
- Now the heat?
- Yeah, sorry.
286
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,484
Probably not the kind of place
287
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,051
you want to stay
for a whole year.
288
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,356
Oh, I don't mind.
289
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,141
I survived Fyre Fest.
290
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:22,926
Not only that, I was last one
to leave the island
291
00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:24,928
'cause I was
loving it so much.
292
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,234
I don't know
what he's talking about,
293
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,670
but I love his confidence.
294
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,367
Just fill his room with rats
and be done with it.
295
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,021
Jeremy, we're
a small business.
296
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,067
We can't afford
to be providing
297
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,851
goods and services
to a non-paying customer
298
00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:36,766
with no end in sight.
299
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,073
Sam, can we get
the pay-per-view fight?
300
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:40,640
It's only $79.99.
301
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,685
All right,
I do appreciate
302
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,034
that you're in a tough
situation here,
303
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,428
which is why I'd like
to tip you both
304
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:49,126
2,000 rewards points.
305
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:52,347
Okay, screw it.
How about this, Jeremy?
306
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:56,264
You and me play one game
of Super Mega Bowl.
307
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:57,657
That sounds like something
308
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,136
a brachiosaur would
drink water from.
309
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,660
I quip. Now, turn the page.
310
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,487
If I win,
311
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,533
you pack up and leave today.
312
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,535
If you win,
313
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,971
I'll double your rewards points.
314
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,059
Jay, what are you doing?
315
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,670
I'm getting us out of this mess.
316
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,236
I'm gonna run through you
317
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:15,196
like Bo Jackson ran through
the Indianapolis defense.
318
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,372
Number one, you're on.
319
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:19,548
- Yes.
- Number two,
320
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,419
since 2017,
321
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,466
I've been the world record
holder at Super Mega Bowl.
322
00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:29,689
I beat the computer
155 to zero.
323
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:32,561
Boom! My brother's gonna
wipe your butt.
324
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,823
Ew. What?
325
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:35,216
You know what I mean.
326
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:38,828
Uh-oh.
327
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,138
Well, great work, Jay.
328
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,487
Now Jeremy's gonna
have two million points,
329
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,358
and we're gonna be
stuck with him for years.
330
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:50,057
I've got him
- right where I want him.
- What?
331
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:52,276
Playing the game he's
the best in the world at?
332
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:55,540
We're gonna use
the ghosts to cheat.
333
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:56,759
Hamilton cheated
on his wife,
334
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,892
and then got extorted
by his mistress.
335
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,503
Not important, but funny.
336
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:02,504
How are the ghosts
gonna help?
337
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,288
The only one
who knows anything
338
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,681
about Super Mega Bowl,
or football
339
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,117
for that matter,
is Trevor.
340
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:09,990
And I don't see him
helping out in this scheme.
341
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,774
They just need to tell you
what play number's being called.
342
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,472
It doesn't require any actual
knowledge of football.
343
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:17,084
Football is a brutal sport.
344
00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:19,695
Now, pedestrianism,
that's where it's at.
345
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,567
Two combatants,
walking really far,
346
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:23,917
for a really long time.
347
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:25,919
But what if Trevor
catches us cheating?
348
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,834
He'll surely intervene
on his brother's behalf.
349
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,226
We're not gonna let him see.
350
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:30,532
- Who?
- Trevor.
351
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:31,620
Won't let him see what?
352
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,709
Jay, why don't we just
do the thing
353
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,319
where I work it out
with the ghosts
354
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:36,625
and I fill you in afterward?
355
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,367
- I'll go on my phone.
- Great.
356
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:41,412
Have you guys seen Pete?
357
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:42,892
- Nope.
- Well, if you see him,
tell him I'm looking for him.
358
00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:46,374
It's foot-rub o'clock.
My bunions are barking.
359
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:47,767
Okay, no problem.
360
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,203
Thank you for providing
all that context.
361
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,683
Hey, Viking.
362
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,598
You look a little
like Hulk Hogan.
363
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:56,123
He was a wrestler
in the '80s.
364
00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:58,342
Quite a specimen.
365
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:02,694
Poor Pete.
366
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,218
That lady is
so mean to him.
367
00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:07,830
She also look at Thor
most lasciviously.
368
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:10,354
Like a hungry warrior
returned from battle,
369
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:13,444
and Thor is bowl
of sour rams' testicles.
370
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,490
Yeah, she did seem
into you.
371
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,319
Maybe we can use this.
372
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,408
We know the thing Pete
hates most in the world
373
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:22,018
is that Carol
cheated on him.
374
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,107
So, what if we did
a loyalty test?
375
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,457
It's this thing on TikTok
that I've seen Jay watch.
376
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,937
So someone asks a friend
377
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,460
to hit on their boyfriend
or girlfriend,
378
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,766
to see if they're into it.
379
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,595
And if they are,
boom, busted.
380
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:37,468
So you're saying we see
if Carol stay loyal to Pete.
381
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:38,774
Exactly.
382
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,820
So you hit on Carol,
383
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,691
and if she says
she's open to it,
384
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,084
then we tell Pete,
and he'll have no choice
385
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:45,389
but to break up with her.
386
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,957
Thor accept mission.
387
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:51,047
Pete's wife,
prepare to be tested.
388
00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:53,441
Loyalty tested.
389
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:59,099
Uh, just to really
clarify, you know that
390
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:01,841
"hitting on" has nothing to do
with actual hitting.
391
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,758
Maybe best we go over plan
in slightly more detail.
392
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,459
Yes!
393
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:13,200
How am I losing?
This makes no sense.
394
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,115
Whatever.
395
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,682
There's still time.
Let's see how you like this.
396
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:29,956
- Oh, come on!
- Come on!
397
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,610
There's six plays.
You pick mine every time.
398
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,308
I guess you're just
really predictable.
399
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:35,918
That's impossible.
400
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:37,615
No one can guess right
that many times.
401
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,053
That is impossible.
What's going on?
402
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,449
What the hell?
Are you cheating?
403
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,060
No. I swear.
404
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:49,976
I was just
picking my nose.
405
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,281
I don't even think
we have boogers.
406
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,370
This stops now.
407
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,677
Good luck cheating now, cheaters.
408
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:56,547
Hey.
Hmm?
409
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:57,592
You gonna pick a play?
410
00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:01,291
Yes, I am.
I'm just... thinking.
411
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:02,597
Trevor, you stop this at once.
412
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,077
You can't make me.
413
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,121
But I can.
414
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,951
Pachycephalosaurus charge!
415
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,172
He moved?
416
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,564
Oh.
417
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,088
Sorry.
418
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:17,873
It's just me now.
419
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,441
- What?
- Nothing.
420
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:21,616
Let's dance.
421
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,792
SASAPPIS
Hey, buddy.
422
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,447
We wanted to tell you something,
and it may be hard to hear,
423
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,101
but you're our friend,
424
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,103
and we wanted to make sure
you weren't gonna make
425
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,669
the same mistake
in your afterlife
426
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,367
as you did in
your life-life.
427
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,891
So we set up
loyalty test,
428
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:38,067
to see if Carol
really changed,
429
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:41,070
but, unfortunately...
she not changed.
430
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,898
I-I don't understand.
431
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,247
What are you guys
trying to say?
432
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,858
So Thor made
a pass at her,
433
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:49,035
hoping that she would
tell him to get lost,
434
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,385
but instead, she
threw herself at him.
435
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:53,909
- Right, Thor?
- Yes.
436
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,563
Carol very into Thor.
437
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,043
I'm sorry.
438
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,001
But it's good to know this,
right, Pete?
439
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,220
Well, I mean, that
doesn't prove anything.
440
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:01,743
She was probably
just being polite.
441
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:03,963
If anything, it was just
a little harmless flirting.
442
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:06,443
No, it was much more
than flirting.
443
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:07,749
Thor and Carol
have sex.
444
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:09,446
- Wait, what?
- Oh, God!
445
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:10,839
What did you do with my wife?
446
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,450
You want Thor to be
specific?
447
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:15,365
Okay, well, first,
we start off
448
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,019
with backwards ram,
then...
449
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,326
Pete, I did not know that
he slept with her, okay?
450
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,631
He was just supposed to see
if she would cheat.
451
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:22,982
Which is exactly
what I do.
452
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,940
Why is everyone so angry?
453
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,550
Because you slept
with my wife!
454
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:27,638
I did this for you.
455
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,075
For friendship.
456
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,250
You think it was fun
for Thor?
457
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:32,643
I guess it was,
458
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,689
but there's nothing wrong
with enjoying your job.
459
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,430
This is not what
you're supposed to do... What is the matter with you?
460
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,605
And what is wrong with you, too?
You're the one
461
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:38,736
that roped him into this?
462
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,434
- For you!
- What's all
the hubbub about?
463
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,739
You had sex with Thor?
464
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:42,958
You told him?
465
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:46,266
That's it, Carol.
We are through.
466
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:48,268
You can rub your own
damn feet from now on.
467
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:49,573
And you!
468
00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:50,748
You're a terrible friend.
469
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,794
Okay. Calm down,
little buddy.
470
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,622
I'm not your
little buddy!
471
00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,235
And don't you forget it.
472
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,719
Yeah!
That's how you do it.
473
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,634
Oh, my God,
this is tense.
474
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,941
Jay is up two points
with one minute to go.
475
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,639
Is this more exciting
than watching walking?
476
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:12,814
It is debatable.
477
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:13,858
You know, I got to say,
you gave me
478
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:14,990
a pretty good scare
there, Jay.
479
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,948
- It's not over.
-
Isn't it?
480
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,950
All I got to do is get
in field goal position,
481
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,474
where I am automatic.
482
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,258
My little brother's
about to wipe your butt.
483
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:23,738
That's right,
I'm sticking with it.
484
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,044
I'm making it a thing.
485
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,610
You know, there was
a minute there
486
00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:27,829
where I thought
I was actually gonna have
487
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,483
to take over
my dad's company,
488
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,702
but now I can just
- keep living here.
- Wait, what?
489
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,313
Sam, what's he
talking about?
490
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,141
I thought you said
- you were fired?
-Yeah.
491
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:37,317
For refusing
to take over his company.
492
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,362
I think Lenny was
just trying to motivate me
493
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,321
- or something.
- I don't understand.
494
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,149
Why wouldn't you want
to take over the company?
495
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:44,585
You don't love
- the lighting business?
-Oh, no.
496
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:46,282
I freaking love lights.
497
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:48,067
When you find
that perfect grouping
498
00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:50,069
and fill a room
with that magical glow,
499
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:51,679
it's a godlike feeling.
500
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,072
So, then what's
the problem?
501
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:55,813
Because my dad's just
doing it to be nice.
502
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:57,772
I'm not cut out
to run anything.
503
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,817
Trevor was the one
with the head for business.
504
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,645
I'd probably
just screw it up.
505
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,778
No, you wouldn't.
You're a smart kid.
506
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:05,780
You learned your haftarah
in, like, a week.
507
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,825
That was an exterior wall.
508
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:10,132
I fell two stories.
509
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,133
I mean, I know
we can't get hurt,
510
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,266
but why didn't anyone come
looking for me?
511
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:14,919
What'd I miss?
512
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,747
All right,
ten seconds to go.
513
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:19,228
Time to kick
this field goal and end it.
514
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:20,621
No.
515
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,318
It's time for you to
grow up, little brother.
516
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,641
No!
517
00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:42,556
- I won!
- Huzzah!
518
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:44,253
Huzzah!
519
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,776
What the hell
just happened?
520
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,778
Your big brother just
shoved you out of the nest.
521
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:49,258
T-Money.
522
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,390
Nice work, Trevor.
523
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:54,220
Is what I would say if
Jay's name were Trevor,
524
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,743
which is a name that we've
discussed a lot this weekend,
525
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:56,918
hence the mix-up.
526
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,224
Stop talking.
527
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,057
- Hold up, Pete punched Thor?
- That's right.
528
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,624
And there's a lot more
where that came from--Peter.
529
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:08,712
Yes?
530
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,671
We must speak.
531
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:11,933
I think we're about
to see some innards.
532
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,239
- Do we have innards?
- Shh.
533
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:14,675
That punch pretty painful.
534
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,633
Uh-huh.
535
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,809
But Thor respect that you
finally solve problem
536
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:19,810
through physical violence.
537
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,638
Thor...
538
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:23,858
apologize.
539
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,208
Apology accepted.
540
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,297
And I guess, in some kind
of messed up way,
541
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,342
you did save me
from continuing to make
542
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,343
a huge mistake.
543
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:33,215
Let us never speak
of this further.
544
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,304
Thor is hero.
You're welcome.
545
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:39,221
Time to say goodbye
to the J-Dog, Sam.
546
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,310
I'm gonna miss you,
little brother.
547
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:43,399
Now, you go out there,
and you make our dad proud.
548
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,227
Good luck
on the new endeavor, Jeremy.
549
00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:46,533
Yeah, we'll see, uh...
550
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,099
I just hope I have
what it takes.
551
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:51,451
Sam, you tell him any time
he's doubting himself,
552
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,322
remember, he's the one
who found the loophole
553
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:54,889
in the Woodstone
Rewards program.
554
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,282
Bro, you're the one
who found the loophole
555
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,284
in the Woodstone
Rewards program.
556
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:01,112
Yes. And that took
no small amount of genius.
557
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,940
Well, it was a pretty
glaring error.
558
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,508
And yet, no one else found it.
559
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:08,119
I get the sense not a lot
of people are looking for it.
560
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,991
You know, I mean,
I didn't see another guest
561
00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:11,558
the whole time
I was here.
562
00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:12,950
And, you know,
563
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,300
how much traffic
does your website get?
564
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,477
Thanks for coming, Jeremy.
565
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:18,695
All right.
566
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,266
Gonna miss you, buddy.
567
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:27,661
And with that, he's gone.
568
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:30,925
Just like those terrible lizards
they called dinosaurs.
569
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,626
What? They were big.
570
00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,541
It's interesting.
571
00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:48,508
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
572
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:51,815
and TOYOTA.
573
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:55,946
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org