1
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:13,380
Uh. Sam, do you mind
asking Jay to move to the couch?
2
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:15,882
Okay. Why?
3
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,918
What?
4
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,918
Sass just came in and he
wants you to move seats?
5
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,521
Well, for about six minutes
every afternoon, that chair
6
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,323
is bathed in a
shaft of light
7
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:26,493
and it feels really nice.
8
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:28,194
We don't have
a lot going on, Sam.
9
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:30,563
He likes the shaft of light.
10
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:32,966
Sure, buddy. Go for it.
11
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:34,367
Yes!
12
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:39,005
(sighs) Oh.
13
00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:41,141
Oh, crap...
14
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,642
Too late. I got the shaft.
15
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,245
Damn it.
I snooze-eth and lose-eth.
16
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:49,115
(groans) Sass, I'll give you
ten back rubs for the seat.
17
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:50,350
I'll make it 20.
18
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:52,018
That's a pretty generous offer.
19
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:54,587
100 back rubs!
20
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,022
You got yourself a deal.
21
00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:57,290
(Samantha scoffs)
22
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,759
I'm sorry, what is
going on? Back rubs?
23
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:01,027
You don't know
about the back rubs?
24
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,762
How does she not know
about the back rubs?
25
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,098
Honestly, I try to shut a
lot of this ghost stuff out.
26
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,766
You don't deserve
this power.
27
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,935
Back rubs are like
our ghost currency.
28
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,404
We can't handle money,
so centuries ago
29
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:12,972
we decided on back rubs.
30
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:15,208
The problem is, no one
can compete with Hetty.
31
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:16,609
ISAAC:
Through a combination
32
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:18,545
of shrewd bargaining
and a general disdain
33
00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:20,146
for physical touch...
34
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:21,514
Hmm.
35
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:21,514
...which leads her
36
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:22,816
to never cash them in,
37
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,785
Hetty has amassed a vast
wealth of back rubs.
38
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:27,754
It's not fair. Hetty's
constantly outbidding me.
39
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,055
I've only been
dead for 20 years.
40
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:30,457
I don't have the capital.
41
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,759
Well, Trevor,
that's just how the world works.
42
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,395
You're new money and
you always will be.
43
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:36,496
In the meantime,
44
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,098
it is I who gets the shaft.
45
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:43,036
And, let me tell you,
it feels so good.
46
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,739
♪ ♪
47
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:53,613
And here's your change, $1.50.
48
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,148
Enjoy your blender.
49
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,148
(Henry chuckles)
50
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,850
No returns.
51
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,953
Hey, man, could you go
a little lower on this lamp?
52
00:02:00,019 --> 00:02:03,723
Wish we could, but we didn't
get rich by giving things away.
53
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,793
No, you got rich by inheriting
all my money when I died.
54
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,596
Henry, I think we have
a live one in cookware.
55
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,432
Hey, that's my Jell-O mold.
56
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,901
Put that down.
That is a family heirloom!
57
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,336
Hey, Jay, do you see
58
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:17,704
that guy over there?
He's dressed
59
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,239
like one
of your Ren fair buddies.
60
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,608
The only thing I see
is a cheapskate
61
00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:22,942
with a mustache
and a fanny pack.
62
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:25,478
SAMANTHA: Oh, my God,
he's a Viking ghost.
63
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:26,880
Thor's gonna have
so many questions.
64
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,681
I have to go talk to him.
(clears throat)
65
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,050
Excuse me. May I use
your restroom, please?
66
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,320
I'm sorry,
it's for paying customers only.
67
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:37,257
Okay, uh, Jay,
just buy the lamp.
68
00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:40,860
Thank you for undermining
my bargaining power, babe.
69
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,832
Hmm.
70
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:49,435
That's kinda cool.
Sam loves fruit art.
71
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:50,803
Why is it upside down?
72
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:53,606
It's because
they're swingers.
73
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,042
That's right.
My son's a pervert.
74
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,111
Oh, hey, man, uh...
75
00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,146
This is a pretty cool
upside down pineapple.
76
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,382
Oh, are you into that?
77
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:03,683
Sicko!
78
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:08,054
A little, but honestly,
Sam really loves it.
79
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:11,891
Really? Well,
isn't she full of surprises?
80
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,359
She learned about it in college.
81
00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,061
I'll bet.
(chuckles)
82
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,663
Where did I go wrong?
83
00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,732
(chuckling continues)
84
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,901
TREVOR: And now the chair
is cold. Damn it.
85
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,504
People don't understand
how nice a warm chair is
86
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,638
when you don't
have pants on.
87
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,273
You okay, buddy?
88
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,273
Pete,
89
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,341
it's not fair how much richer
90
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:29,776
Hetty is than the rest of us.
91
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:31,678
Yeah, she throws around
her back rub wealth,
92
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,079
but what are you gonna do
about it?
93
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,014
I don't know,
but we should do something.
94
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,216
She sits here
lording it over us.
95
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,118
She's like those two old
rich guys from Trading Places.
96
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:42,121
Oh, great flick.
Oh! Maybe I should choose it
97
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:44,223
this week, when it's my turn
to pick TV time.
98
00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:47,160
That's it.
99
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:49,395
TV time.
100
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:50,496
What-- What about it?
101
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,031
That's how I take Hetty down.
102
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,733
Yes, she's been around
a long time,
103
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,368
but I was
a Wall Street whiz kid.
104
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:58,338
And you just gave me an idea
for a new financial instrument.
105
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,139
It's simple as long as you
understand the basic principles
106
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:03,443
of market power and the downward
sloping demand curve.
107
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:05,445
Okay.
108
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:08,715
Well, I'm out. But have fun.
109
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,851
SAMANTHA:
Hey, big fella,
110
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,553
it's okay.
I'm a friend.
111
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,722
In Odin's name,
how can you see me?
112
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,090
I fell down some stairs
113
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,458
and was technically dead
for three minutes--
114
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,660
it's a whole thing--
but who are you?
115
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,429
I'm Bjorn.
116
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,965
I'm from the land of Norvegr.
117
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:29,035
I died on this property
many, many moons ago.
118
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,638
Okay. Uh, well,
this is kind of a long shot,
119
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:35,341
but I live nearby and I know
another Viking ghost, Thorfinn.
120
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,176
Big man. Beard.
121
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:38,144
Yes, exactly.
122
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,512
Abandoned by his shipmates.
123
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,314
Yes! Do you know him?
124
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:44,183
It is he who I came looking for.
125
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:47,520
You see, I am...
126
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,255
his son.
127
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,597
What is it?
What must you tell Thor?
128
00:04:57,664 --> 00:05:00,266
Okay. Well, like I
said, it's big news.
129
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,668
I'm talking
earth-shattering.
130
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,236
Well, he might want
to sit down for this.
131
00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:04,971
I-Is he sitting down?
132
00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:04,971
Yes, Jay.
133
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,472
How do they sit on furniture?
134
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:07,774
(sighs)
135
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:07,774
Wouldn't they just
go through it?
136
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,309
You said they just go
through walls, right?
137
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:13,613
Whoa, this is gonna spin me
out for the whole afternoon.
138
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,349
By the loins of Freya,
tell Thor the news!
139
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,618
Okay, Thor. So, I went
over to the Farnsbys'
140
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:22,689
and I met a ghost.
He was a Viking ghost.
141
00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:24,857
He was your son Bjorn.
142
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:27,326
How do you know this name?
143
00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,128
I just told you I met him.
144
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:31,698
(laughs)
Is impossible.
145
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:33,866
You're saying that my son,
who I haven't seen
146
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,703
in a thousand years,
has been two ship lengths away
147
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,337
this entire time.
148
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,772
I know, it's so crazy,
149
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,508
but it's true. I would
never lie about this.
150
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,413
You met my baby Bjorn?
151
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,649
Well, he's all
grown up now.
152
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,686
Last I saw him,
he was just a... (chuckles)
153
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:54,787
...little boy.
154
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,290
Bjorn, when I
was your age,
155
00:05:57,356 --> 00:06:01,327
my father gave me this.
156
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:09,402
And now I give it to you.
157
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,671
May you spill the blood
158
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,339
of many Danes with it.
159
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:19,445
Now say, "Goodbye, Father."
160
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,784
Come on. You can do it.
161
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,520
Say "Father."
162
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,822
He's still too young to speak,
you know this.
163
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,864
Then I shall hear it
upon my return.
164
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,868
But I never do hear him say
"Father"
165
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,669
because I never return.
166
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,205
Well, he came
looking for you, Thor.
167
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:49,375
All the way
from the Old World.
168
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:51,410
What if a wall were
made out of couch?
169
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,212
Would I not be able
to go through that?
170
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,282
Thor want to know everything.
Have so many questions.
171
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,550
I thought you might,
which is why
172
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,318
I asked a lot
of questions.
173
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:03,556
Okay, so, Bjorn was married.
He had three kids.
174
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,558
You're a gramps, buddy!
175
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,026
Who was his first kill?
176
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,262
His first kill?
177
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:10,797
I don't think we covered that.
178
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,331
Okay...
179
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,100
How many Danish heads
did he have lined up
180
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,468
outside his cottage?
181
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,838
Again, I didn't
ask that, specifically.
182
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,741
You call yourself journalist?
These are obvious questions.
183
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,509
Oh, yeah, he's got you there,
Sam. Who, what, where,
184
00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:25,778
when, why,
how many severed heads?
185
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,246
These are the tools
of your trade.
186
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,081
Thor wish he could speak
to Bjorn himself.
187
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:31,317
He's so close yet so far.
188
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,052
I know. It's too bad
that you don't live
189
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,087
next door to your son
and then you could just, like,
190
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,156
walk up to the property
line and talk to him.
191
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,858
But the Farnsbys'
is two doors over.
192
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,827
Wait a minute.
193
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:44,564
There may be a way
for them to speak. Follow me.
194
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:51,938
FLOWER:
Huh.
195
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,272
Need help?
196
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:55,975
Alberta, I know
it's your turn to choose,
197
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,345
but I'll pay you 50 back rubs
to watch Bodices & Barons.
198
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,913
Ugh, is that that boring
period piece drama?
199
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,248
Boring?
200
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,517
Did you not see the
smoldering glances
201
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,752
the baron shot at the
chambermaid last week?
202
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,688
Shocked they can put
that on the television.
203
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,656
Well, as exciting
as that sounds,
204
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,458
I already sold
all my TV time
205
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:13,659
for the next month
to Trevor.
206
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,963
Oh, you did?
So did I.
207
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,765
I also sold Trevor my TV time.
It was part of some
208
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,767
elaborate plan of his
I didn't understand.
209
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,270
The plan's actually
quite simple.
210
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,405
I bought everyone's TV time.
211
00:08:26,472 --> 00:08:29,709
And now I have a monopoly
for the next month.
212
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:32,211
And I'm gonna use it
to watch classic '90s
213
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:36,015
figure skating rom-com
The Cutting Edge on repeat.
214
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,884
(talking over each other)
215
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:39,652
Relax, relax.
All you have to do is
216
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,421
buy your TV time back from me...
217
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,223
at a huge markup, of course.
218
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:47,326
Trevor, why are
you doing this?
219
00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:49,161
To level the playing field.
220
00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:51,364
After this, I'm going
to have so many back rubs,
221
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,833
it's gonna be like
Burke Williams in here.
222
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,835
HETTY: What is that?
223
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,835
Who's Burke Williams?
224
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,403
ALBERTA: Is that a bank?
225
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,403
You may not understand
that reference,
226
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,438
but trust me, it is apt.
227
00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:01,374
JAY:
Hey, babe, check it out.
228
00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:04,310
See? Look. You can
see the Farnsbys'
229
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,078
top floor from
this window.
230
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,714
I noticed it recently after
Sass's tree got cut down.
231
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:11,550
Sorry about that, Sass.
232
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:11,550
Oh, he's not here.
233
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,619
Oh, okay, well, then,
I am feeling...
234
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,388
Hetty?
235
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,388
Let's not do this.
236
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:18,257
So... how will Thor
speak to Bjorn?
237
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:19,592
Well, if you stand here,
238
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,427
then I will get Bjorn
to stand by that window,
239
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,995
then you two could
yell at each other.
240
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,666
Yes! I can yell at my son
the way my father yell at me.
241
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,401
Except it would be
out of love
242
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:31,971
and not anger that I eat
all the ram's testicles.
243
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,806
Okay. Be on this
spot in one hour.
244
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,574
We just need to figure
out some excuse
245
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,843
to get into the
Farnsbys' house.
246
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,246
I'm sorry, did you say
"ram's testicles"?
247
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,048
I don't even want to know.
248
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,716
Is Norse delicacy.
249
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,053
I wonder if Bjorn likes...
Did you ask him this?
250
00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:48,321
It didn't come up.
251
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:50,790
Big surprise.
252
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,459
TREVOR:
375 back rubs for Friday night.
253
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,028
400!
254
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,028
Sold to Alberta.
255
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,396
Yes! Oh... (chuckles)
256
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:58,764
It's a steep price,
257
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,733
but at least
I'll get my Jason Momoa fix.
258
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,602
And we will be watching
certain scenes in slo-mo.
259
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,972
Aka slo-Momoa. (chuckles)
260
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:08,908
Not my best work, but I had
to get it out of my head.
261
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:12,044
What if, instead of
bidding against each other
262
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,047
and driving up the price,
we form a coalition?
263
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,983
Utilize the power
of collective bargaining?
264
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,284
Oh, like we form a union.
265
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,853
I did not use
the U-word.
266
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,056
I am simply suggesting,
if we band together
267
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,859
and agree not to buy any
TV time, it becomes valueless.
268
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,227
And Trevor
will have nothing.
269
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,562
Okay. So,
270
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:30,629
what are we supposed to do,
just watch
271
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:31,931
The Cutting Edge over and over?
272
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,099
The guy loses his
peripheral vision
273
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:34,500
and can't play hockey
274
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,502
but he can still figure skate?
275
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:37,737
Doesn't make any sense.
276
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,005
PETE:
Okay, maybe we don't watch TV
277
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,072
at all.
278
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,607
Like the good old days,
you know?
279
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:44,577
Trivia, charades,
sharing secrets...
280
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:46,012
(whispers):
I don't like mustard.
281
00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:49,148
You won't be able to
last without TV time.
282
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,550
You'll be back.
You'll all be back.
283
00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:52,752
No, Trevor.
284
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,320
Not if we stick together.
285
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,322
Because together...
286
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,792
...the power belongs
to the people.
287
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:02,728
Oh, I hate myself.
I really hated saying that.
288
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,363
How's Thor's hair?
289
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,799
What about scar, hmm?
290
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,167
Thor, he's not gonna
be able to make out
291
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,569
those tiny details
from that distant window.
292
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,138
But he also won't smell
the wolf urine,
293
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:13,406
so it all evens out.
294
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:15,541
Just so nervous and excited.
295
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,877
Is biggest moment
of Thor's life.
296
00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,712
What are you gonna
yell about with him first?
297
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,814
I don't know, just...
298
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:24,917
So many questions, I...
know so little of him.
299
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:27,019
Well, Samantha made some notes
300
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:28,687
from the conversation.
Let's see here...
301
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,890
He lived in...
302
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:33,292
unpronounceable town
with far too many consonants
303
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,960
with his wife, Alma.
304
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,262
(laughs)
305
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:39,231
No, that wrong.
That name Danish. It...
306
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:40,699
must be mistake.
307
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,701
Oh, no, no, no.
No, that's what it says here.
308
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,538
He had three children:
Magnus, Inger and Lars.
309
00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:50,076
But those also names of Danes.
310
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,212
Oh, dear.
311
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,047
Bjorn...
312
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:56,415
married Dane.
313
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,451
(soft chuckling)
314
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:00,986
Is deepest betrayal.
315
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,223
Bjorn is...
316
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,591
traitor.
317
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,526
Well, you know,
so was Benedict Arnold,
318
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,762
but he was still
a delightful dinner party guest.
319
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,064
Thor,
who cares who he married?
320
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,399
Bjorn's your son.
321
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,334
No.
322
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,036
This is where you're wrong.
323
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,640
Thor have no son!
324
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,676
Well, this is gonna make
325
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,077
for an awkward reunion.
326
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,077
Yeah...
327
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,518
So, how long do you think
this is gonna take?
328
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,220
I don't know, Jay.
This is my first time
329
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:36,355
having to get a ghost Viking
to a designated scream spot,
330
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,791
where he will reunite with his
father after a thousand years.
331
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,127
Ballpark?
332
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,127
Five minutes?
333
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,228
(knocking)
334
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:43,629
(door creaks)
335
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,164
Weird. It's open.
336
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:51,670
Oh, my God,
Henry, it's Sam and Jay.
337
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:54,573
I told you.
Hello, please come in.
338
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,342
Hi, uh, we came
to return your lamp.
339
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:58,144
And I know
you don't take returns...
340
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,745
That is so cute.
341
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,547
But you didn't have
to make up an excuse
342
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,749
to come
to our little get-together.
343
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:05,017
Oh, you have company.
344
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,385
Uh, sorry to interrupt.
345
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,921
Oh, no, no.
We're so glad you could make it.
346
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,589
May I please use your bathroom?
347
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:11,891
Yes. Yes, of course.
348
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:14,059
And don't worry,
we won't start without you.
349
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,895
Thanks.
350
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,895
(laughing)
351
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:21,700
Come with us. Our friends will
be very excited to meet you.
352
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:24,403
Everybody,
this is our neighbor Jay
353
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,704
and he's here for the party
354
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:28,941
with his wife, Sam,
who's a blonde.
355
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:31,243
(laughter)
356
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:34,246
Oh, how I hate the first
Wednesday of every month.
357
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:38,551
Okay, so that's my house
over there.
358
00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:41,520
Your father should be appearing
at that window at any moment.
359
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,428
Oh, I see someone.
360
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:53,098
Hello! Bjorn is here!
361
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,701
(distantly):
It is Bjorn!
362
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:59,038
Just a moment!
Thor'll be right here!
363
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:01,740
Tell him I'm very excited!
364
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:03,442
He's equally excited!
365
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,411
Of that, I can assure you!
366
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,446
A Fin, I could live with that.
367
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,282
A Swede, disgusting, but fine.
368
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,917
But why Dane?
369
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,386
Why you do that to me?
370
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,789
Dude, Denmark is
actually pretty cool.
371
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:19,458
I mean, I've never been,
but I used to buy Whippets
372
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,928
from a Danish guy at Dead shows
and he was really cool.
373
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,964
ISAAC: Okay, Thor.
It's showtime.
374
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,799
Your son is waiting
for you.
375
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:29,001
I said I don't want
to talk to him.
376
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,537
Thor, he traveled
half the world and waited
377
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,772
a thousand years
just to find you.
378
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:36,642
That's more work than I put
in to meet David Crosby.
379
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,944
Thor not care.
380
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,944
ISAAC:
Can you imagine
381
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,413
the disappointment
he is going to feel right now
382
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,881
if you abandon him?
383
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,483
You are his father.
384
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,220
You're right.
385
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,220
Oh...
386
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:53,058
He is under the impression
that I am his father,
387
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,927
so I will speak to him,
388
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:58,731
and tell him
he is no longer my son!
389
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:02,067
Okay. It feels like you're
deliberately twisting my words.
390
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,335
(sighs)
391
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,638
I miss Whippets.
392
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,973
(sighs)
393
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,075
How are you doing, Trevor?
394
00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:12,811
Me? I'm awesome.
395
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,613
Nine and a half
Cutting Edges in,
396
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,181
and it just
keeps getting better.
397
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,884
Are you sure?
You look a little glum.
398
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:21,153
Man just lost
his peripheral vision.
399
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,022
Of course I'm a little glum.
400
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,657
But exclusively about that.
401
00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:28,661
Tell me,
when you were alive...
402
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,364
...why did you want
to make money?
403
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:33,465
Excuse me?
404
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:34,767
Let's say you had not died
405
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,769
tragically young
and without pants
406
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:38,504
and you had made
all the money you'd ever wanted.
407
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,139
what would your life
have looked like?
408
00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:41,874
Paint me a picture.
409
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,510
Okay. Um...
410
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:45,778
I'm in a glass-bottom pool
411
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:47,880
on top of a skyscraper
that I own,
412
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:50,182
and Kid Rock is there
and he's deejaying,
413
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:51,317
but not because I'm paying him,
414
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,352
because he's just there
415
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,187
and it happens spontaneously.
416
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:56,989
And we have an epic party.
417
00:15:57,056 --> 00:16:00,559
And afterwards, I make love
to my wife, Tara Reid,
418
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:04,663
and post-coitus, together,
we watch The Cutting Edge.
419
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,031
Duh.
420
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,000
It seems like money
421
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,235
wasn't just about money, then.
422
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:11,704
It was about friends.
423
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,940
About having
someone to share it with.
424
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,241
I guess so.
425
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:19,144
But now, your pursuit of wealth
426
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,380
has left you
all alone.
427
00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:24,717
Take it from someone
who actually was rich.
428
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,753
It's lonely at the top.
429
00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:30,789
The question you have
to ask yourself is...
430
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,325
...is it worth it?
431
00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:40,199
JAY:
Hold up.
432
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:41,700
You have a toy room, too?
433
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,669
I love how excited
you are about this.
434
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,038
Sam thinks I'm a freak
for having one.
435
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,374
You know, I wasn't
into it at first, either.
436
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,775
You just gotta
play around a little bit
437
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,243
till you find the ones you like.
438
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:54,446
(chuckles)
Can we trade wives?
439
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,116
Uh, and on that note,
ladies and gentlemen,
440
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,617
the time has come.
441
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,753
Is this because
I didn't breastfeed you?
442
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:02,554
(ringing)
443
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,492
What you doin', Margaret?
444
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:08,827
Oh, um...
445
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,095
(giggles)
446
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:12,931
Ah.
447
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,369
After some careful
consideration, I have decided
448
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:18,971
to give everyone
their TV time back.
449
00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:20,205
What's the catch?
450
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,840
No catch.
451
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,242
It's just,
someone made me realize that
452
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,244
while money is important,
453
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,079
it's not as important
454
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:29,348
as friendship.
455
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:29,348
Aw.
456
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,783
I had all the TV time
in the world,
457
00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:33,018
I just didn't have anyone
to share it with.
458
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,421
Alberta...
459
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:37,623
I believe
tonight's pick is yours.
460
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:39,558
Aquaman.
Then, if there's time,
461
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,727
select scenes
from Game of Thrones.
462
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,829
And you know the ones
I'm talkin' about.
463
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,798
Have a seat.
464
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,400
Proud of you for learning
the right lesson, buddy.
465
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,400
(sighs)
466
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:51,103
Alberta, I'll give you 200 back
rubs to watch Bodices & Barons.
467
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,905
Wait, what?
468
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,905
Sold.
469
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:55,107
Hetty, you didn't mean any
of that stuff you said to me?
470
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:57,042
You just tricked me into
giving up my monopoly?
471
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:58,076
That's right.
472
00:17:58,143 --> 00:17:59,645
And what about your speech?
473
00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:01,447
You said that friendship
was more important than wealth.
474
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:04,149
No, I said you need
to ask yourself that.
475
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:06,785
I have and I know the answer.
It's wealth.
476
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,554
(chuckles)
Oh, it's wealth.
477
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:10,055
That's why she's the top dog.
478
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:11,857
There's no low
she won't stoop to.
479
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,527
It's time to watch the baron
glance at his mistress.
480
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,931
The glancing, oh,
how I love the glancing.
481
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,568
ISAAC:
Thor, wait...
482
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,470
Bjorn! Are you there?
483
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:26,705
Yes, I'm here!
484
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,908
Thor, please don't say
something you can't take back.
485
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,143
Bjorn!
486
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,278
I have something to tell you!
487
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:35,614
What is it, Father?
488
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,150
(distantly):
Hello?
489
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,585
Father?
490
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,922
Come on, you can do it.
491
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:46,892
Say, "Father."
492
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,361
BJORN:
Hello?
493
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:51,330
Father!
494
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,632
Are you still there?
495
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,835
I am here, son!
496
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,471
BJORN:
What did you want to say?
497
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,607
That...
498
00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:03,775
I love you!
499
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,044
Thank you for coming to find me!
500
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,646
I love you, too!
501
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:10,849
Okay!
502
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,252
Good talk!
503
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,420
Yes. Yes, great talk!
504
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,488
(laughs merrily)
505
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,891
That's... That's it?
506
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,493
We gotta get out of here.
507
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,493
Jay,
508
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,928
the sweetest thing happened.
509
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,397
Yeah? Do you think we can
climb out that window,
510
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:26,632
or should we just jump?
511
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:27,766
Can't we just
go down the stairs
512
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,167
and walk out the front door?
513
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:30,769
Okay.
514
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,171
Take my hand,
close your eyes
515
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:36,842
and whatever you do,
don't touch anything.
516
00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:47,586
JAY:
Oh. We got an email
from the Farnsbys.
517
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:50,188
Apparently,
we've been invited
518
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:53,892
to their Christmas Toga Party
this year.
519
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,961
That is chilling.
520
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,329
(chuckles)
521
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,097
Sam. Hello?
522
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,097
(inhales)
523
00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:00,799
Sorry,
just a little distracted.
524
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,367
They steal silverware!
525
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:04,970
It's very important
to know!
526
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:04,970
Look, Thor.
527
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,172
I think it's great you're
reconnecting with your son,
528
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,975
but maybe you could do it
during daylight hours.
529
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,376
Making up for lost time.
530
00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:14,146
You see, I realize
it is not Bjorn's fault
531
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,181
that he married Dane.
532
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:18,984
Children not born
with hate in their heart,
533
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:22,721
they must be taught it and
I was not there to teach him.
534
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:25,190
(sighs)
535
00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:26,625
Night, babe.
536
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,927
THORFINN:
Now let's talk hygiene!
537
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,829
Danes, very dirty!
538
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,664
They never wash
undercarriage!
539
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:42,574
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
540
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:46,378
and TOYOTA.
541
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:50,882
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org