1 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:11,112 That cloud looks like a banana, eating a banana. 2 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,948 Whoa. Bananabalism. (laughing) 3 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,651 Uh, Flower, is that a bear? 4 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,019 Oh, that one does look like a bear. 5 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,221 Good call, Ira. 6 00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,222 No. I mean 7 00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,257 right there. (growling) 8 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,727 Hey, Mr. Bear. How are you today? 9 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,263 Mm. She is not long for this world. 10 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,031 Thor happy for bear. 11 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,500 Eat well tonight. 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,835 What's that? Oh, you want a hug? 13 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,804 I don't think that's what he's saying, Flower! 14 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,073 (bear growling, Flower screaming) 15 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,308 (Ira screams) 16 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,776 (bear growling) 17 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,945 (claws ripping) 18 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,780 (Thor clears throat) 19 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,984 * * 20 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,388 And she's staying. 21 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,724 Hey. Hi. 22 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,059 What are you guys looking at? 23 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,596 Oh, man, I'd hate to be her. 24 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,732 THOR: Yeah. Ugh. 25 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,336 So, were you guys at the music festival, or... 26 00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:11,605 * * 27 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:16,344 ISAAC: And while today he may be celebrated 28 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:17,678 as a great man, 29 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,580 it turns out Hamilton was 30 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,349 a bit of a nose-picker. 31 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,416 Yeah, why don't you tell me 32 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,651 about the revolution? 33 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,085 What got you interested in that? 34 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,555 Oh. Well, I mean, suppose 35 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,623 it was around the time of the Stamp Act. 36 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,625 You see, the Crown had levied the most unjust tax 37 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,461 on the colonies... Hmm. 38 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:34,528 I'm sorry, what was that? 39 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,330 Mm, nothing. 40 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,366 Just a frog in my throat. I see. 41 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,068 Um, anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. 42 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,970 The Crown had levied a tax on the colonies 43 00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,239 to pay for their costly war with France-- 44 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,541 Hmm. Okay, well, there it is again. 45 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:48,809 (doorbell ringing) 46 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,244 Sorry, I should get that. 47 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,712 Wait-- Wait, but what about the book? 48 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,248 Sam, did you know they wouldn't let Hamilton sign 49 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,016 the Declaration of Independence? 50 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,886 Yes! They knew where those fingers had been! 51 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:02,490 This is Paula. She's interested in renting out our property 52 00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,057 as a shooting location. 53 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,194 I'm with a docu-series called Dumb Deaths. 54 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,396 I don't know if you're aware, but this property was actually 55 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,630 the site of a dumb death. 56 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,332 Could you be more specific? 57 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,267 There were a number of dumb deaths that took place here. 58 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:17,471 And also just some regular ones, too. 59 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,207 Well, the one we're interested in involves 60 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,608 a hippie back in the '60s. 61 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,643 Oh, Flower... child. 62 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,313 A flower child is probably is what you're talking about. 63 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:26,814 The woman's name was Susan Montero. 64 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,783 She wandered over from a music festival high on drugs. 65 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:32,386 And then she tried to hug a bear. 66 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,655 So, the show would be making fun of me? 67 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,357 I don't love that. 68 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,759 The shoot would be two days and we'd give you $10,000. 69 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:42,129 $10,000? That's more than I paid for my Skylark. 70 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,232 Uh, we could certainly use the money. 71 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:47,601 Yeah, our busy season just ended and it wasn't that busy. 72 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,237 So, what do you say? 73 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,171 Well, I... 74 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,172 Sam, I said no. 75 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,774 I don't want to look dumb. 76 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,977 Tell this lady and that guy that we're not interested. 77 00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:58,946 PETE: Um, Flower, look, 78 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,814 I think you're looking at this the wrong way. 79 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,652 I mean, this is an opportunity to really help Sam and Jay here. 80 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,355 Were you going to say something? 81 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:10,123 Yes. Yes, I was just 82 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,592 thinking about your offer. 83 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,126 So, give me one moment. 84 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,029 Mm. Yeah, this is all just part of her process. 85 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,465 She's very deliberative. 86 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,533 As a small business owner in life myself, 87 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,602 I can attest to the fact that these early days 88 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,537 can be some of the most stressful. 89 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,710 You should see her try to pick out a movie. Oof! 90 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,979 Heck, I've arguably got the dumbest death of them all. 91 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,615 But I'd still be proud to be able to lend a hand. 92 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,684 I mean, think of all Sam does for us. 93 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,987 Yeah, Flower. Do it for Sam and Jay. 94 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,556 I guess you're right. 95 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,493 Okay, Sam. They can do the show about me. 96 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:49,162 Okay. Having thought about the pros and cons, 97 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,064 I think we should do it. 98 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,800 Great. 99 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,668 ISAAC: You know, Nigel, 100 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,036 earlier today, when I was telling Sam 101 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,372 about the injustices building up to the war, 102 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:01,542 you, um, had a reaction. 103 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,845 A reaction? A rather pointed, "Hmm." 104 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,713 Did I? 105 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:06,914 I'm still getting to know 106 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,081 all your adorable little tics, 107 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:11,184 but this pointed "Hmm" seems to occur 108 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,986 only when you're displeased. 109 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,789 I thought it was actually quite a reserved utterance, 110 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,191 given the egregious misrepresentation of history 111 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,594 I was hearing. Excuse me? 112 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,664 Well, the Stamp Act you maligned 113 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,033 was necessary to pay for the many troops 114 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,901 we brought to protect you from France 115 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,169 during the Seven Years' War. 116 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,305 Oh. Please. 117 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,607 If anything, you rebels should be thanking us. 118 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,876 Thanking you? Thor. 119 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,446 Thor, could you come in here for a second? 120 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,514 I need you to settle something for us. 121 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,115 Who was right about the Stamp Act? 122 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:46,354 Well, Thor feel there's no real upside to weighing in here. 123 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,589 Don't want to get in middle of-- 124 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,524 NIGEL: Oh, come now. 125 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,526 Was it the righteous monarchy 126 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,795 or the sniveling colonists? 127 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,130 What's that? (laughs) 128 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,099 Be right there! 129 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,708 Whoa, that guy's shirt says, "It's Getting Hot In Here, 130 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,610 season one." Yeah, the producer said 131 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,944 it's actually a lot of the same crew. 132 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,781 We walk amongst the gods! (laughs) 133 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,083 So how are you gonna shoot the bear? 134 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,285 Is it gonna be CGI or are you gonna get one of those guys 135 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,387 in a bear suit? 136 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,854 Oh, we actually pivoted 137 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,856 from the hippie hugging a bear idea. 138 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,725 What? The network felt there were 139 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,594 too many animal episodes this season. 140 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,729 But we had the location, so we looked into 141 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,564 some of the other deaths your wife had mentioned. 142 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,732 Huh. 143 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,634 It turns out some idiot 144 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,102 got shot teaching archery 145 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,004 to a bunch of little girls. (chuckles) 146 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,240 (English accent): Thank you, so nice to meet you. 147 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,609 What's your name? 148 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,277 Oh, my God. They're doing you, Pete. 149 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,880 Aw, now you get to help Sam and Jay. 150 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,316 You must be so happy. 151 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,818 This is... so cool. 152 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:53,220 I'm so sorry, I don't want to be that guy. 153 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,856 But mobile phones weren't around in 1985. 154 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,525 So, would you mind? 155 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,359 Just-- I know you're not onscreen, 156 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,928 but it's just the vibe for me. 157 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,230 Also, could somebody please fetch me a Tab? 158 00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,804 I actually put on 75 pounds for my last role. 159 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,205 Took months to lose it, 160 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,341 but no one will ever forget Customer Number Two. 161 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,977 You sure you okay with this, Pete? 162 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,746 Yeah, I was rattled at first, 163 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,748 but I was right in what I told Flower. 164 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,551 I mean, this is my chance to really help Jay and Sam. 165 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,252 Daniel, um, could I have a quick word? 166 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,287 Just have a few questions about my character. 167 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,423 Well, it's five lines 168 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,024 and then you get shot with an arrow, but sure. 169 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:34,094 What drives Pete Martino? 170 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,597 Who is Pete Martino? 171 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:39,399 A good-hearted man. Kind to his family and troops. 172 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,969 Dude, he's an idiot. Got killed by a little girl. 173 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,471 Okay, that's another take. 174 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,005 Now, why would he do something 175 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,340 so unbelievably stupid? 176 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,209 You know, what causes a man-- 177 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,144 an experienced troop leader-- 178 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,581 to put himself directly in the line of fire? 179 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,516 I don't know. Maybe he was drunk? 180 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,416 What? 181 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,519 That's crazy. Were you? 182 00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,920 No! 183 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,154 Yes, of course he was. 184 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,923 He looked around one day and realized 185 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,258 how pathetic his life was. 186 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,562 A travel agent booking other people's holidays 187 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,297 while going nowhere himself. 188 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,232 Hey, we went to Epcot, buddy. 189 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,167 That's the whole world all at once! 190 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,670 And so he hit the bottle. I can play that. 191 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,438 Great. We good? 192 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,541 Mm-hmm. I'll need a flask. 193 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,510 I'll talk to Props. 194 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,177 Hey, do not get him a "flahsk"! 195 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,580 We do not need a flask! Sam! 196 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,082 Sorry, in a bit of a rush. 197 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,785 Who is this woman who just walked to the head of the line? 198 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,086 That's the producer. 199 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,588 That's the most baller job on a film set. 200 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,857 She could fire someone for just looking at her. 201 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,759 Really? So powerful. 202 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,393 Hey, Paula, hey, hi. 203 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,496 The arrow guy's a drunk now. Which flask do you want? 204 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,765 I'd like to see some more choices. 205 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,234 Is that a problem, Gary? No, ma'am. 206 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,402 No, right away. 207 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,838 I like her. 208 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,375 ISAAC: Can I bend your ears about something? 209 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,979 I am in the most frustrating tiff with Nigel. 210 00:07:59,079 --> 00:07:59,980 About what? 211 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,381 The American Revolution. 212 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,083 Mm, may be time to let this one go, bud. 213 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,484 No, no, no, I get it. 214 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,319 It's like you guys are rooting for different teams. 215 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,420 I've been there. 216 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,189 I was a huge Giants fan 217 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,424 and I dated this chick who liked the Eagles. Mortal enemies. 218 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,326 S-So, what did you do? 219 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,762 Whenever football came up, 220 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,697 I would change the subject to something 221 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,599 that no one would find controversial, 222 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,034 like, uh, The Cosby Show or Woody Allen movies. 223 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,872 So you're saying in order to keep the peace, 224 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,340 I should avoid the war? 225 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,276 Damn, Isaac, that was good. 226 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,612 Suck on that, Hamilton. (laughs) 227 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,446 What's going on? Pete's upset with the way 228 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,015 the show is trying to portray him. 229 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,684 It's a gosh darn hatchet job! 230 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,152 Sorry about the locker room talk, but I am steamed. 231 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,955 They're implying that he was drunk the day of the incident. 232 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,357 Look, I may not have had the perfect marriage. 233 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,126 And at work, I was a good travel agent, 234 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,527 but I was no Greg Flannagan. 235 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,630 Famous travel agent? 236 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,765 There are no famous travel agents. 237 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,101 The point is, the one thing I could hang my hat on 238 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,103 was that I was a great Scout troop leader. 239 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,606 Those kids loved me, and I was there for them. 240 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,641 That's what makes this so hurtful. 241 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,476 Hey, uh, Paula, could I just have a second? 242 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,445 I'm a little concerned about this whole, 243 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,314 "Portraying Pete as a drunk" thing. 244 00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,583 Um, yeah, we don't typically take creative notes 245 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,218 from the owners of the location. 246 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,953 Now, is that all? Because Paula and I have 247 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,822 a million things to do if we're gonna make our day. 248 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,224 Right, it's just, I actually know his widow. 249 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,359 I met his grandkid. 250 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:20,594 Oh, God, Little Pete's gonna see this. 251 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,295 This is how he's gonna know me. 252 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,463 And I don't think they would appreciate 253 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,898 an inaccurate depiction. 254 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,800 How do you know it's inaccurate? Were you there? 255 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,468 Yes! No. 256 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,170 Okay, well, if we need you 257 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,404 to move your cars or anything, 258 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,873 we'll let you know. 259 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,008 Producers coming through, clear the way. 260 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,478 This is so unfair. 261 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,013 They can't do this to my guy Pete. 262 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,348 What are we supposed to do, Jay? 263 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,983 They're right, we weren't there. 264 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,986 But we were. 265 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,555 Right, that's also not helpful. 266 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,358 What about one of his old troopers? 267 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,693 That's it. 268 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,027 We could track one of them down 269 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,328 and they could set the record straight. 270 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,697 That's a great idea! 271 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,431 I'll look them up, and assuming they're not 272 00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,967 too traumatized to talk about it, 273 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:00,968 we'll make it happen. 274 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,502 It was very traumatizing. 275 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,905 Thor not sleep for many moons after witnessing. 276 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:08,308 And I've chopped heads off, and drank blood from open necks. 277 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,278 Now, let's track down a middle-aged woman. 278 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,913 (laughs) 279 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:18,986 Isaac, I hope you're not too upset to go on our stroll. 280 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,220 Just the opposite. 281 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,855 And I was thinking 282 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,491 we should avoid talk of the revolution altogether. 283 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,293 Ah. Splendid idea. 284 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,996 Ooh, I wonder if we'll see ducks! 285 00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,397 You know, I was thinking, 286 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,999 we always go for a walk by the lake. 287 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,601 Why not mix it up and go for a walk in the woods instead? 288 00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,403 That would be most enjoyable. 289 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,672 But it is tradition that we stroll by the lake. 290 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,207 It's how we've always strolled. 291 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,609 Yes, but sometimes tradition is meant to be broken, 292 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,877 especially when one party 293 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,679 desires to go in a new direction. 294 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,415 Well, why go in a new direction when the old direction 295 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,950 is working just fine? 296 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,985 I deserve a vote in where we walk. 297 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,354 No ambulation without representation. 298 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,923 Wait a minute. 299 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,191 You're not talking about the walk! 300 00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,793 Oh, nothing gets by you, does it? 301 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,029 Except the most prosperous colony in all the empire. 302 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:05,699 Oh! This is precisely the kind of childish behavior 303 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,534 one would expect from a... 304 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,002 A what? 305 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,871 Say it. I dare you. 306 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,605 Yankee. 307 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,207 (gasps) You did not. 308 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,010 Yankee, Yankee, Yankee, Yankee! (gasps) 309 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,611 I don't get this rewrite. 310 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:19,947 Why would I say "Howdy?" 311 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,215 Is this a Western? Am I Jonathan Wayne? 312 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,316 Just say the words. 313 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,517 Picture's up in ten 314 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,719 and we're running out of daylight. 315 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,855 Thank you so much for coming. 316 00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,857 It would mean a lot to Pete's family that you're here. 317 00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,859 I mean, it was a pretty crazy call to get, 318 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,894 but if I can do something to help out Mr. Martino, I'm game. 319 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,529 Aw, she's a good kid. Oh, Sam, offer her a ring-pop. 320 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,131 Cherry's her favorite flavor. 321 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,401 Paula, I would like to introduce you to Jennifer Macklin. 322 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,136 She's actually one of the little girls 323 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,305 from Pete's Pinecone troop. Pete? 324 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,274 The guy who died? 325 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,675 Oh, right, this week's idiot. 326 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:50,043 She has a lot on her plate. 327 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,845 You were there? 328 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,180 Tell me everything, Jennifer. 329 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,984 Bring me inside the mind... of a madman. 330 00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,486 Well, for one, Mr. Martino would never have a flask. 331 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,587 He wasn't a drinker. 332 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,189 Ha, see? I told you. 333 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,858 But he was a bitter soul, 334 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,860 visibly haunted by demons from his past? 335 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,762 (chuckling): No. I'm sorry. 336 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,598 That's about the exact opposite of Mr. Martino. 337 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,134 Damn it! Whatever tenuous foothold I had 338 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,602 into this man is gone. 339 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,137 I've completely lost my character. 340 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,206 Right, back to basics. 341 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,640 I'm a bumbling cuckold 342 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,742 whose only friends are little children. 343 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,344 So, you see, Pete did nothing wrong. 344 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:25,879 It was an unfortunate incident 345 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,148 and nothing "dumb" on Pete's part. 346 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,183 Yeah, sorry, Paula, if that's not good for your show, 347 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,052 but, I mean, you heard it from an eyewitness. 348 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,154 Well, he did do something sort of dumb. 349 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,622 Wait, what? 350 00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,424 Was it pills? Pills I can play. Was it pills? 351 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,759 For some reason, on that day, I remember him handing out 352 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,395 the bows and arrows before the safety demonstration. 353 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,831 What? That's not true. 354 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,799 40 years seems like an awfully long time 355 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,234 for such a small detail. 356 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,601 No, this I'm sure about. 357 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,070 He just seemed really distracted. 358 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,239 He kept muttering something about donut holes. 359 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,740 Oh, my God... 360 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:57,945 Yeah. You were muttering about donut holes. 361 00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,412 She's right. 362 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,814 It all started that morning 363 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,883 before I headed to the archery lesson. 364 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,618 (exhales) 365 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,090 Is, uh-- Sweetie, did-did you eat the rest of the donut holes? 366 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,825 Yeah, I thought you were done with them. 367 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,593 No, Carol, I was looking forward 368 00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,528 to having some before I left. 369 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,297 You don't even like donut holes. 370 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,366 No, I like donut holes. I don't like donuts. 371 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,068 Okay, that doesn't make any sense. 372 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,236 The donut holes are punched out of the donut. That's wrong. 373 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,972 You see, donut holes come from their own machine. 374 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,540 Okay, even if that were true, 375 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,910 they're all donut material! 376 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,679 I was so distracted, I must have handed out 377 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,347 the arrows before doing the safety speech. 378 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:38,651 Okay, so he wasn't a reckless drunk, he was just an idiot? 379 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,053 Are we done here? 380 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,821 * * 381 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,491 Don't listen to her, Pete. 382 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,859 PETE: Why not? She's right. 383 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,727 I failed those girls. 384 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,998 I was a terrible Pinecone troop leader. 385 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,002 A sugar fiend in need of his fix. 386 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:59,239 His blind pursuit of pastries ultimately costing him his life, 387 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,641 and earning me a general meeting with JJ Abrams, 388 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,110 or someone at his company. 389 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,683 So, how's Pete doing? He looks pretty glum. 390 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,153 He tried to rip off his Pinecone Trooper badge, 391 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,821 but it just zapped right back into place. 392 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,623 Thanks for highlighting my impotence. 393 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,926 What's going on? Pete's impotent. 394 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,362 Oh, is that why he didn't want to be our third? 395 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,598 It's okay. There's still stuff you can do. 396 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,666 SAM: Paula. 397 00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,501 I'm sorry, but we're going to have 398 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,003 to shut this whole thing down. 399 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,004 Oh, my God. 400 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,372 Just forget it, Sam. 401 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,774 I died dumb. It's time to pay the piper. 402 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,377 I get that it's accurate now, but as friends of Pete's family, 403 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,212 we just don't feel comfortable... 404 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,647 Here's the thing. You signed a contract 405 00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,382 stipulating we can shoot here, 406 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,185 so we're shooting here. Okay, sweetie? 407 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,455 And that is why you are you, 408 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:52,359 and she produced World's Hottest Dentists. 409 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,197 SAM: Isaac... 410 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,999 what's going on? 411 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:02,435 It's just this thing that I have with Nigel. 412 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,037 It's not going to last. 413 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,472 What happened? 414 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,377 It's just that our differences are simply irreconcilable. 415 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,880 Americans and the British are sworn enemies 416 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,249 and it shall remain that way until the end of time. 417 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,618 Isaac. Hmm? 418 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,821 Britain and the U.S. are basically best friends. 419 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,190 (chuckles) 420 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,791 What? Really? 421 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,726 They are, like, our closest ally. 422 00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,096 You know, there's even a name for the friendship 423 00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,830 between Britain and America. 424 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,166 It's called, "The Special Relationship." 425 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,767 Honestly, Samantha, 426 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,404 I'm impressed with your knowledge of geopolitics. 427 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,306 Thank you. I... I learned it from a movie 428 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,807 called Love Actually. 429 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,375 There we go. 430 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,211 All right, last looks, everybody! 431 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,746 Oh, Daniel, an idea, if I may. 432 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,816 When the arrow's punctured my neck and shattered 433 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,084 Pete Martino's dreams... 434 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,120 I urinate. 435 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,487 Sure, why not? 436 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,456 You know, that's real. That's what the body does. 437 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,691 I like it. PAULA: Yeah, that's not bad. 438 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,194 Wardrobe! We're gonna need more shorts. 439 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,729 This is going great. 440 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,863 Poor Pete. 441 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,498 We have to do something to stop this. 442 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,867 Sam already tried, but it didn't work. 443 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,371 Well... 444 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:15,675 then we do something. 445 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,111 * * 446 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,979 Are you gonna make a suggestion, or... 447 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,883 Oh. No, Thor just trying to get the ball rolling. 448 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,786 You know? While I have poured 449 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:29,289 my heart and soul into this production, 450 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,491 my allegiance is with Peter. 451 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,393 And I know how we can shut this thing down. 452 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,062 Thor, we'll need your ghost power. 453 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,963 We're going to focus your destructive capacity 454 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,998 on the most important part of any production. 455 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,300 The writer? 456 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,768 (laughs) 457 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,771 Oh, sorry, I thought you were purposely making a joke. 458 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:48,075 No. I am talking about... the camera. 459 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,110 CREWMAN: All right, picture's up! 460 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,445 (slurping) 461 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,586 Okay, I've got three takes in me. Let's make them count. 462 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,354 All right, the stunt of him getting shot 463 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,789 in the neck is up next, so just make sure 464 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,657 the bow and arrow's ready. Copy. 465 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,626 I know I'm not technically with production, 466 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,196 but hey, I am the owner of the house, 467 00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,464 so gimme a tuna sandwich, huh? 468 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,233 No one has to know. DANIEL: All right. 469 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,703 So, you've given the little girls the bow and arrows. 470 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,671 You should have given them the safety precautions, 471 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,974 but you were too distracted by your donut hole rant. 472 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,277 Okay, just say, "Action," I can't hold it in much longer. 473 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,214 And... action! 474 00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,882 Girls, listen up, pay attention. 475 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:30,950 Thor, camera! 476 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,286 Prepare to be destroyed, tiny foe! 477 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,454 (grunts) 478 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,323 I'd like to talk to you through 479 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,957 some important safety procedures. 480 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,792 This is all information that would've been really useful 481 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,929 before you handed out the deadly weapons, you idiot! 482 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,731 (screaming) 483 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,267 (electric beep) Oh, just lost a battery. 484 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,001 (gasps) You did it, Thor! 485 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:52,004 Because I told him so. Producing! 486 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,072 Okay, good to go. 487 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,174 What? 488 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,875 All right, action! What? 489 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,677 Listen up, girls, pay attention. 490 00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,312 You got another one in you, big guy? 491 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,813 You can do it. Come on, Thor. 492 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,782 Come on, Thor. Come on, Thor. 493 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,017 FLOWER: Ow! Oh. Ooh. 494 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,753 Whoa, what was in that tuna wrap? 495 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,155 HETTY: Oh, he's quite stoned. 496 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,057 Hey. You want to go for a ride, little buddy? 497 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,026 Oh. 498 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,195 Ow! 499 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,529 Jay! 500 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,664 (all exclaiming) 501 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,599 Is there an arrow in my butt? 502 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,935 Do not remove the arrow. Stay calm. 503 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,671 Help. Is anyone going to do anything? 504 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,073 Do not remove the arrow. Stay calm. Okay. 505 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,475 Bandages. Tape. 506 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:30,009 Uh, we need to support the arrow and secure it. 507 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,678 Then we're gonna make a tourniquet. 508 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,280 Bandages. Tape. We need to support the arrow, 509 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,948 secure it, and then we're going to make a tourniquet. 510 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,186 Wait, so Jennifer can hear ghosts? 511 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,190 No. She just... remembers. 512 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,527 Because you were a good troop leader. 513 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,529 I guess I was. 514 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,864 * * 515 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,235 Oh, that's a waste. 516 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,437 And he wet himself. 517 00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,440 Wardrobe. We're gonna need new shorts. 518 00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,908 And socks! 519 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,510 Also socks. 520 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,017 NARRATOR: Everybody dies. 521 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,119 But not everybody dies... dumbly. 522 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,988 This is Dumb Deaths. 523 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,691 Oh, is this the program they did about Peter? 524 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,528 No, uh, after Jay got shot with an arrow, 525 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:22,995 we agreed not to sue in return for them 526 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,564 not doing Pete's story. 527 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,333 Thank you, Sam. FLOWER: But we still wanted 528 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,067 Sam and Jay to get paid, so... 529 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,102 NARRATOR: This week's dummy is a hippie 530 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,639 who tried to hug a bear. 531 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,241 (bear growls, woman screams) 532 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,942 Hey, glad you and Nigel made up. 533 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,310 Yes. If America and England 534 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,246 can resolve their issues, so can we. 535 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,381 They are very similar countries. 536 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,816 So one has a parliamentary system 537 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,453 that's slightly superior. No matter. 538 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,455 Hmm. 539 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,122 What was that, my special friend? 540 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,024 Hmm? Oh, nothing, my special friend. 541 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,160 Sam, you're on the TV. 542 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,664 Yo, man, is that a bear? 543 00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,733 I bet it totally wants to hug me. 544 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,403 Uh... Hey, Fluffy. 545 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:06,373 Ooh! Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. 546 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:09,075 Then why did you insist they cast you as part of the deal? 547 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,677 Who else was gonna step in last second? 548 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,912 And besides, I was in drama club in high school. 549 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,447 I thought you just built sets. 550 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,549 Because of politics, Jay! ACTOR: No! 551 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:20,387 This was supposed to be a hip and groovy day, you dig? 552 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:24,524 But this is like... the opposite of groovy! 553 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,859 Didn't the real Ira run off screaming? 554 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:27,960 He didn't think that was something 555 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:28,995 his character would do. 556 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,530 There's no such thing 557 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,031 as free love. 558 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,234 There's always a price. 559 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,237 (groaning) 560 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,140 Is he... soiling himself? 561 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,210 Yep. 562 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:53,119 Captioning sponsored by CBS 563 00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,723 and TOYOTA. 564 00:20:56,823 --> 00:21:01,260 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org