1 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,807 Got talked into buying the big carriage. 2 00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,442 That's a lot of carriage, let me tell you. 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,777 - Hmm? - Two horse powered. 4 00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,212 Wow. 5 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,813 Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, 6 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,183 and General Washington himself. 7 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,417 I heard they're in town 8 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,252 for the big Freemason gathering. 9 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,587 (sighs) It's the most illustrious group 10 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:20,954 of men in the American colonies. 11 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,790 Oh, to be one of them. 12 00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,258 CYRUS: Oh, I think Ben Franklin's 13 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,826 - actually coming over here. - What? 14 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,728 Laugh, man. Laugh like I've made a quip. 15 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:28,896 (forced laughter) 16 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,531 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Higgintoot. 17 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:31,732 I trust you're well? 18 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,768 Yes, well, three of my five nephews 19 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,670 survived the winter, so we're pleased. 20 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,606 Oh, excellent news. Excellent news. 21 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,508 You know, I was actually wondering whether 22 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,377 you'd be free to drop by the Freemason lodge 23 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,878 this Friday at 5:00. 24 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,948 - I could use a man like you. - Of course. 25 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,151 Ah! Splendid, then. I'll see you there. 26 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,020 And, uh-- ooh! Enjoy the view. 27 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,890 Ah, yes. 28 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,160 Knockers. (chuckles) My favorite. 29 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,062 I wish she had three instead of two. (chuckles) 30 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,098 Right. (clears throat) 31 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,134 Damn those pesky wedding vows. 32 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,902 ♪ ♪ 33 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,373 Okay, great. 34 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:13,374 See you tomorrow. 35 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,676 - Thank you. - Hmm? 36 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,245 Jay, we just got another booking for the event. 37 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:18,679 - Yeah1 - Event? What event? 38 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,514 Nothing was run by me as lady of the house. 39 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,550 Again-- Because you're dead. 40 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,118 But just to bring everybody up to speed, 41 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,387 we are hosting a high-end whiskey tasting... 42 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,189 - (whoops) - ...and so far, 43 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,523 the feedback's been great. 44 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,958 We even got a writer from Sippr NY 45 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:33,161 to come review it, which is huge. 46 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:35,929 Sippr is like Eater, but for drinks. 47 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,899 To put it in terms you still don't understand. 48 00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:42,102 Well, I don't like that the event promotes alcohol use. 49 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,604 Said the cocaine fiend. 50 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,573 But I do like your description of it as high-end. 51 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,974 Sounds snooty. Well done. 52 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,176 (phone buzzing, ringing) 53 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,010 Oh, hold on. 54 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,513 It's crazy you can publicize a drinking event. 55 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,148 In my day, when folks were boozing, 56 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,549 you didn't know if you were going to get arrested, 57 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,619 get shot or go blind. 58 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:02,089 Ooh-whee! It was fun. (laughs) 59 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,391 JAY: Are you sure? 60 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:07,228 Okay. Uh, well, uh, thanks, I guess. 61 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,929 Bad news, babe. 62 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,131 Um, you know how I was supposed to secure 63 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,766 the liquor license before the B and B opened? 64 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,435 Might want to get down here! 65 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,003 Sam and Jay are about to have a fight. 66 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,438 Well, I forgot. 67 00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,408 But then, in kind of a hero move, 68 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,343 last week, I realized that I forgot. 69 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,077 Jay, the whiskey tasting is tomorrow. 70 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,947 Which is why I have been hounding the liquor board 71 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,483 to expedite the process, and that was them. 72 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,385 And they said that the earliest 73 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,454 that they can come to do an inspection 74 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,189 is eight weeks from now. 75 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,091 No. We've been serving alcohol for months. 76 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,060 Welcome drinks, wine pairings with dinner. 77 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,563 Wait, we have been doing it for months, 78 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,097 and we haven't been caught. 79 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,366 So what's one more day? 80 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,435 Yes. Jay, I like your style. 81 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:50,771 If we cancel on the Sippr guy, he may never come back. 82 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,873 We'll be blowing a huge opportunity. 83 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,008 As the wife of a robber baron, 84 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:58,946 if I might just add, sometimes one must skirt the law 85 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,814 to advance one's own business. 86 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,450 This is nuts. Serving alcohol 87 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,418 without a license is a criminal offense. 88 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,019 What are the ghosts saying? 89 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,555 Well, Hetty's saying sometimes you need 90 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,756 to bend the law in business, 91 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,190 and Pete's arguing against. 92 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:13,227 And whose mansion are we standing in right now? 93 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,462 Okay, I had a three-bedroom 94 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,264 in a very good school district. 95 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,432 I guess it's just one more day. 96 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,101 Yes, Sam! Let's break the damn law. 97 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,570 (laughs) 98 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,239 And please enjoy this cheese platter 99 00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,040 while we wait for the other guests to arrive. 100 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,842 Thank you so much. 101 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,878 Uh, Sam, why are we wasting space on almonds? 102 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,514 We need pungent. Where's the Roquefort? 103 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,450 Who are the young folk? 104 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,719 Ah, they're here for the whiskey tasting. 105 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,588 She's an art history major, and he's a frat guy 106 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,089 trying to prove he's not a douche 107 00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,657 by bringing her to this classy event. 108 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,926 I am tired of people stereotyping frat dudes. 109 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,395 We are just as refined as the next guy. 110 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,730 Babe, check it out. 111 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:50,998 Frog testicles. 112 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,434 Yes, he's a remarkable young man. 113 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:57,438 Damn, I miss my frat days. Great friends, epic parties. 114 00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,139 Isaac knows what I'm talking about. 115 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,174 - He was a Freemason. - What's a Freemason? 116 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:04,312 We were the original fraternal organization. 117 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:08,148 Ben Franklin, George Washington, Samuel Adams 118 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,850 were counted amongst our membership. 119 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,619 It was, like, crazy exclusive. 120 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,020 The kid who played Chunk in Goonies 121 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,523 was in my pledge class, so I get it. 122 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,791 Here's an idea. 123 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,460 What if we started our own fraternity? 124 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,894 - (gasps) - A ghost fraternity? 125 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,731 - Oh, hell yes! - A ghost fraternity? 126 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,499 Okay, but how is that any different than all of us 127 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,401 just hanging out like we always do? 128 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,803 Because a fraternity has rituals and traditions. 129 00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,305 And a cool secret handshake! 130 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,973 ISAAC: Yes. 131 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,442 Also, it's slightly different 132 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,876 than what we do every other day. 133 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,546 Yeah! Anything different is good. 134 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,647 Okay, fine. I'm in. 135 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,215 (grunts) Flower, what do you say? 136 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,685 I forget what we were talking about. 137 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,854 It's just like doing bong hits with Chunk. 138 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:50,057 I love it. This frat's gonna be amazing! 139 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,461 Is that the guy from Sippr? 140 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:56,296 ALBERTA: Yep, and he is making love to that whiskey. 141 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,731 So what do you think? 142 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:01,569 Notes of vanilla, dried fruit, 143 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,771 a playful offering with which to start. 144 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,305 - (doorbell ringing) - Uh... 145 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,075 If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back. 146 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,713 - Hi. Jay Arondekar? - Yes. 147 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,816 My name's Sherry. I'm with the Hudson Valley Liquor Authority. 148 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,051 Sam, we're being raided. Toilet, sink or drink. 149 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,720 You got to get rid of the hooch. 150 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,422 I'm here to inspect your property 151 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,890 for a liquor license. 152 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,958 Oh. (weak chuckle) I thought you couldn't come 153 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,360 for, like, eight weeks. 154 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,961 Well, today is your lucky day. 155 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,497 I had a cancellation and was told you folks 156 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,499 are in a bit of a time crunch. 157 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,166 Now isn't exactly the best time, 158 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,268 so maybe you could come back, like, say, tomorrow? 159 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,737 Once we arrive, if we're denied entry, 160 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,407 - it's an automatic fail. - Meaning... 161 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,842 You'll have to wait a year before you reapply. 162 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,712 Okay, uh, would you just hold on one moment? 163 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,847 - SHERRY: No, wait-- What? - Thanks. 164 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,216 This is not good. 165 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,118 We can't be without a liquor license for a year. 166 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,986 We have to get the guests out of here. 167 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,255 Wow. I guess someone's wishing they listened to the fellow 168 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,224 with the modest house after all, huh? 169 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,693 What are we gonna do? Are we gonna kick out the Sippr guy? 170 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,862 Can you imagine the review he'll write? 171 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:02,963 He'll shred us. 172 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,231 - I have an idea. - SAM: What? 173 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,232 I said, "He'll shred us." 174 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,834 I was talking to Alberta. 175 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,437 Okay, well, you can see how it's confusing, though, right? 176 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,371 Well, you have a bunch of booze 177 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:12,706 and a bunch of thirsty customers 178 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,242 with Johnny Law breathing down your neck. 179 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:18,345 And you also have a secret room with a hidden entrance. 180 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,748 What are you saying, Alberta? 181 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,950 Girl, I'm saying let's do a damn speakeasy. 182 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,318 Alberta's suggesting that we sneak our guests 183 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,020 into the vault and call it a speakeasy. 184 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,922 (exhales) That's a great idea. 185 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,525 It's cool, it's down a secret passageway. 186 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,226 That's what I'm saying! 187 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,895 We could sell it as part 188 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,864 of the whiskey tasting experience, make it our theme. 189 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,999 I strongly advise against this. 190 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,634 You're gonna run a speakeasy in the house 191 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,169 while that woman is performing inspections? 192 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,170 This is crazy. 193 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,806 Yes, Pete, apparently we are. 194 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,941 Ooh, all right, Sam! You won't regret it. 195 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,010 Yeah, unless they get fined, arrested, 196 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,278 or put out of business. 197 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,613 Either way, it's gonna be 198 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,182 a wild night. (laughing) 199 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,256 - What's going on? - It's 1928, 200 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,692 and Johnny Law is hot on our tails. 201 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,560 Oh, is this like a speakeasy thing? 202 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,997 Yes, exactly. And as long as you know the password-- um, uh... 203 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,199 Arrow... nerd. 204 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,334 Pretty sure Arrow would have sufficed. 205 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,435 Then you can come on in. 206 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,437 - Arrow nerd. - SAM: You're in. 207 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,839 ALBERTA: Let's go, let's go, let's go. 208 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,073 (creaking) 209 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,309 - (laughs) - Let's go, let's go, let's go. 210 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,745 ♪ ♪ 211 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:30,518 So, uh, how long do you think this is going to take? 212 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,920 Well, I need to check the common spaces, 213 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,523 make sure there are an appropriate number of egresses, 214 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:38,458 look at the general sanitary conditions, 215 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,328 ensure there's no pest feces or active infestations. 216 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,463 Cool. So, like, ten or 15 minutes? 217 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,465 This is going to take several hours, sir. 218 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,636 Ooh, the Paper Mate 98 ball pen? 219 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,804 (chuckling): Oh, this gal means business. 220 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,706 That baby glides. 221 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,274 Ooh. Yeah. 222 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,276 You've all been chosen as members 223 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:57,811 of the inaugural class 224 00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:01,114 of the very exclusive ghost fraternity. 225 00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,783 What makes it exclusive? 226 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,518 Pete and Alberta aren't in it. 227 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,386 Didn't they choose not to be in it? 228 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,622 Be that as it may, they're out. 229 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,424 Now, you may be wondering, what is a frat? 230 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,894 And the answer is an organization that promotes 231 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,228 high-minded conversations 232 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,164 about philosophy, poetry and ethics. 233 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,332 What? No, it's not that at all. 234 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,869 It's about binge drinking, taking drugs, 235 00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,104 and doing one day of charity every three years. 236 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,639 But, Trevor, we're ghosts. 237 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,541 We can't do any of those things. 238 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,810 Okay, fine, but we don't have to be lame. 239 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,946 We can do fun stuff, like jumping off the roof. 240 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,948 Yes! (laughs) 241 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,449 Like ättestupa. 242 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,919 In Viking society, when old people 243 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,988 no longer able to support themselves, 244 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,590 we throw them off cliff. 245 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,592 Is very fun. 246 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,493 Just every story, man, 247 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,328 - it just keeps getting darker. - Yeah. 248 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,732 Wouldn't everyone prefer to plumb the depths 249 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,001 of human knowledge and learn timeless lessons 250 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,504 about morality, like we did in the Freemasons? 251 00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,472 Look, guys, I think we have different visions 252 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,041 of this thing, which is fine. 253 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,843 Doesn't mean that one's better than the other. 254 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,545 Just means that you should start your own frat. 255 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,248 And I'll do the cool one. 256 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,450 So... 257 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,785 how's it going down here? 258 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,754 A completely immersive experience 259 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,723 to go along with the tasting. Well done. 260 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,725 And the fake corpse-- That's a nice touch. 261 00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:20,493 Look, I can make him pick his nose. 262 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,931 - That's great, Blane. - Oh, they're being so loud. 263 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,600 The inspector's going to hear. This is so nerve-racking. 264 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,702 Pete, this is living! 265 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,938 Didn't you ever color outside the lines? 266 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,606 Well, one time I was late for a movie, 267 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,474 so I parked in a loading zone. 268 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,509 It was a Sunday, so it was probably allowed, 269 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,712 but, man, it ruined Gremlins for me. 270 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,981 We lived very different lives, Pete Martino. 271 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,351 BOTH: Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn! 272 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,686 Jump, Thor! 273 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,888 Now that Thor up here, it, uh... 274 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,256 seems pretty high. 275 00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,324 Starting to feel bad 276 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,960 for old people we throw off cliff. 277 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,763 You're a ghost. You'll be fine. 278 00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,397 Oh. 279 00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,333 Is this stove properly ventilated? 280 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,402 Yes, I would assume it is. 281 00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,471 Well, you'd be surprised. 282 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,473 A lot of these older homes have renovations 283 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,441 - that were done without proper permitting. - (Thor screaming) 284 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,310 Oh, my God! 285 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,080 Improper permitting, you say? 286 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,615 Yes, it's a real problem. 287 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,053 - Thor rules! - Oh, my God! 288 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,923 Best fraternity ever! Yes! 289 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,524 - (cheering continues) - (doorbell chimes) 290 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,694 I'll be right back. 291 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,763 - Arrow nerd. - Excuse me? 292 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,265 Our buddy texted us about a speakeasy here. 293 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,301 Oh, yeah, that's not actually happening anymore. 294 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,803 MAN: But he just texted us. 295 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,405 - Hey, yo, Blane! - (whispers): Okay, okay. 296 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,539 It was a test. 297 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,874 And you passed, 298 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,810 so shut up, follow me, quietly. 299 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,945 ♪ ♪ 300 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,653 ISAAC: "Any moment might be our last, 301 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,923 everything is more beautiful because we are doomed." 302 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,858 Anyone know from where those words come? 303 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,127 - My worst nightmare? - ISAAC: No. 304 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,595 It's The Iliad! (laughs) 305 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,965 This is the point of a fraternal organization. 306 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,400 The Freemasons sought to build moral character 307 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,069 through study of the classics. 308 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,171 - TREVOR: "The classics." - (laughter) 309 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,842 Hey, what's going on lame-da, lame-da, lame-da? 310 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,644 - We're going to party in vault! - You guys should come. 311 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,780 No, rest assured, we're quite fine in here. 312 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,181 TREVOR: Suit yourself. 313 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,616 Lame-da! (laughs) 314 00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:24,852 (both sigh) 315 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:28,555 Okay, where were we? Ah, yes. 316 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,923 Throwing a party of our own. 317 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,792 - I can't do this, man. - What? 318 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,693 Look, I joined your frat 'cause I hate siding 319 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,229 with Trevor on basically anything, but... 320 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,065 I just gotta get out of here. 321 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,703 Well, it's just you and me, then. 322 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,539 That was so rude of Sasappis 323 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,041 just to leave us here like that. 324 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,878 I think I should go give him a piece of my mind. 325 00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,280 - You just want to go to the party, don't you? - Desperately. 326 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,783 Thank you for understanding. Oh! 327 00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,253 - HVU! - (overlapping party chatter) 328 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,622 - MAN: Go, Turtles! - Man, these guys can drink. 329 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,624 I had two light beers in college one night. 330 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,960 Woke up in a trash heap in northern Nevada. 331 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,495 Ooh! 332 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:12,432 Oh, well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. 333 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,301 Yes, fine. We got bored. You win. 334 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,804 Go ahead, do that weird gesture with your hands 335 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,973 - where you make a little "T." - T-Money! Yeah, that one? 336 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,775 - Ugh. - Ugh. Good. Get it out of your system. 337 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,743 Wait. Where's Isaac? 338 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,813 Oh, uh, he's, uh, still at the frat meeting. 339 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,215 You left him at the meeting alone? 340 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:31,218 - Yes, and we feel awful about it. - Mm-hmm. 341 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,920 (gasps) Tiny hot dogs. 342 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,188 Oh, they smell just as good as the big boys. 343 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,857 (music playing softly) 344 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,926 - SAM: Hey. - Hi. 345 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,393 So how's it going up there? 346 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,529 Slow. That lady is thorough. 347 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,031 How's Sippr guy enjoying himself? 348 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,866 He thinks that the high-end whiskey 349 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,335 that we're serving him isn't "special." 350 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,037 Uh, Sam, if I may, 351 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,738 I know where you can get a whiskey 352 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,874 that will knock this man's socks off. 353 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,376 - Am I holding for ghosts? - Yup. 354 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,311 My bootlegger boyfriend stored booze upstairs 355 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,347 - the night I performed. - Do you think it's still there? 356 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,883 Oh, I know it is. I'll take you right to it. 357 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,618 Okay. Hey, uh, Elliot. 358 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,256 Uh, how would you like to try Prohibition-era whiskey 359 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:12,659 stashed on this property 100 years ago by bootleggers? 360 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,161 I would like to try that very much. 361 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,229 Great. Wait here and we'll be right back. 362 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,032 Uh, there is just one little problem. 363 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,869 - It's in the wall. - SAM: Seriously? 364 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,170 Damn it. 365 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,044 SAM: Jay, Alberta said the whiskey is still in the wall. 366 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,712 ALBERTA: (chuckles) Mm-hmm. 367 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,214 Yep, it's still there. 368 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,983 Oh, my precious booze. 369 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,450 And also a possum skeleton. 370 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,786 He died years before you guys moved in. 371 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,421 Cute little guy. You know, pre-rotting. 372 00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,991 All right, I'm all done with my inspection. 373 00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:45,792 - Everything looks good. - Oh! 374 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,360 Great. So you're leaving? 375 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,563 Yup, just as soon as I fill out the requisite paperwork. 376 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,465 Okay if I set up shop in the kitchen? 377 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,802 Uh... Why don't you use the library? 378 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:59,272 - It's more comfortable. - Or the upstairs den. 379 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,141 Very end of the hall. Quiet. 380 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,843 No, the kitchen's fine. 381 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,014 SAM: This is insane. 382 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,182 There's no way we can break a hole in this wall 383 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,184 without Sherry hearing us. 384 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,819 Okay, I have an idea. 385 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,654 We Shawshank it. 386 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,491 Shawshank Redemption. The movie. 387 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,894 - I still haven't seen it. - JAY: Seriously? 388 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,829 - Sam, it's on, like, four times a day. - Okay. 389 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,864 In that movie, the main guy, Andy Dufresne, 390 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,733 he escapes from prison by crawling through a pipe, 391 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,601 and what he does is he waits for a storm, 392 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,603 and then he uses the cracks of thunder to cover up 393 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,973 when he hits the pipe with a rock. 394 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,508 So you're saying we should wait for a storm? 395 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:40,713 No, babe, I'm saying we make our own storm. 396 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,851 Is anyone else turned on right now? 397 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,219 A little. 398 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,290 This woman is a machine! Working in pen, 399 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,359 no cross-outs, really focused. 400 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,061 Oh, Jay looks like he's gearing up, Sam. 401 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,662 Oh, don't mind me. 402 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,764 I'm just gonna tenderize a little meat. 403 00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,232 No problem. 404 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,368 And now! 405 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,203 (simultaneous thuds) 406 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,471 And now! 407 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,539 (simultaneous thuds) 408 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,209 And now! 409 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,444 (thudding and wood clattering) 410 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:15,248 Oh, that's a beefy rib-eye. 411 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,351 Oh, my God. 412 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,522 (chuckles) Ooh-whee! Yes. 413 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,992 That's some sweet Kentucky bath water. 414 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,760 Mm, and one nasty-ass possum. 415 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,929 (Sam groans) 416 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,601 TREVOR: Hey, I've been looking for you, bud. 417 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,503 I suppose you've come to gloat 418 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,505 about your fraternity vanquishing mine. 419 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,274 No, I came to invite you downstairs. 420 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,210 It may not be a Masonic lodge, 421 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,245 but speakeasy's pretty cool. 422 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,913 And we missed you. 423 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,882 Well, the truth is, I wouldn't even know 424 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,552 what the inside of a Masonic lodge looked like. 425 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,287 What are you talking about? (gasps) 426 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,989 Was it all freaky blindfolded stuff? 427 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,790 No, Trevor. 428 00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:02,862 Despite my claims, I never actually was a Freemason. 429 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,034 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: Wow! (chuckles) 430 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:10,803 I had heard the rumors, but that is a big carriage. 431 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,540 Well, it doesn't get the best miles per bale of hay, 432 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,974 but, uh, she sure is roomy. 433 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,309 Indeed. Indeed. 434 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,745 And a good thing too, Higgintoot, 435 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,847 because I've invited you here today 436 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,150 because I would like you 437 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,152 to take a large oak desk 438 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,853 to John Jay's house. 439 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,257 You mean... You mean after the meeting? 440 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,958 After the... 441 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,194 Oh, dear. 442 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,063 You thought I was inviting you 443 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,231 to the Freemasons meeting. 444 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,968 Oh... I mean, I... I mean, no. 445 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,771 Look, after John Jay's, why don't you come back? 446 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,139 Really? 447 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,742 Oh, darn it! I've done it again, haven't I? 448 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,445 I simply meant in case any of the Freemasons 449 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,846 needed a ride home. (chuckles) 450 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,882 I am sorry. 451 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,921 So, when I got the chance to start my own fraternity, 452 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,091 I decided to turn it into the Freemasons, 453 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,492 so I could finally belong. 454 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,528 But here I am, rejected once again. 455 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,530 They didn't reject you today. 456 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:11,831 They rejected being in the Freemasons, 457 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,433 Which makes sense, 'cause it seems 458 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,934 like the Freemasons kind of sucked. 459 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,504 And Ben Franklin-- I hate to say this, 460 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,771 as a Penn guy-- sounds like a dick. 461 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,341 He was a bit full of himself. 462 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,510 Although, he did discover electricity. 463 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,778 Like they weren't gonna find that. 464 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,381 Look, I didn't get into my first choice frat, 465 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,749 but the guys I ended up with 466 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,351 turned out to be my best friends. 467 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,020 Didn't one of them dump your dead body into a lake? 468 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,957 The point is, you may not have chosen us ghosts, 469 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,626 but you're here now, 470 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,461 and we're lucky to have you. 471 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:43,763 Thank you, Trevor. 472 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,765 You know, there's a statue 473 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,667 of Ben Franklin on campus at Penn, 474 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,001 him sitting on a bench. 475 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,337 Ugh, of course there is. 476 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,239 Why are you telling me this? 477 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,506 Because every weekend, 478 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,442 kids get drunk and pee all over it. 479 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,210 Oh. 480 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,579 Oh, Trevor... 481 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,715 What a gift you've given me. 482 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,652 So, what do you think? 483 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,288 I have never had anything like it. 484 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,390 I feel like I've been training my whole life for this. 485 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:11,858 Cheers. 486 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,094 ALBERTA: Little tip, Sam. 487 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,996 You and Jay wait 20 minutes before drinking it, 488 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,865 see if any of these folks go blind. 489 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,802 I can't believe it. We pass our inspection, 490 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,671 we nail the whiskey tasting. 491 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:25,938 Are we great business people? 492 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,608 - We might be. - (both laugh) 493 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,944 Oh, what a night. That was fun. 494 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,746 I gotta admit, I was nervous at first, 495 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,715 but then I started to, you know, get into it. 496 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,218 Ooh, see? Being bad feels pretty good. 497 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,686 - Doesn't it? - It was exciting. 498 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,954 That's why you gotta take risks every now and then. 499 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,791 Yeah, you're right. You're totally right. 500 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,160 Pete, you spent your whole life being afraid. 501 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:50,096 Don't make that same mistake in your afterlife. 502 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,199 Just go for it. 503 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,800 Okay. 504 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,636 Whoa! 505 00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,308 Okay. You're gonna see this as a defeat, 506 00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,976 but this is a proud moment for you, 507 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,446 and I want you to acknowledge that. 508 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,047 PETE: Okay, I feel... I feel proud. 509 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,849 Good. 510 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,984 ♪ ♪ 511 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,954 (music playing) 512 00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:18,925 Hey, to the ghost frat and its founding member, 513 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,693 Isaac Higgintoot. 514 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,529 ALL: Huzzah! 515 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,096 THOR: Yeah! 516 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,965 ♪ ♪ 517 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:29,135 (sighs) What an event. I mean, hats off to you both. 518 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,871 Someone is gonna get a very nice review in Sippr. 519 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,640 That's great. Uh, thank you. 520 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,174 I mean, I really don't understand 521 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,743 your business model at all. 522 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,445 Just giving away $5,000 bottles of vintage whiskey, 523 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,513 but I am not complaining. 524 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,582 (nervous chuckle) 525 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,518 Did he say $5,000? 526 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,886 (guests whooping) 527 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,189 - Yeah! - Can't get enough... ♪ 528 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,660 Are we bad business people? 529 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,695 We might be. 530 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,935 You know, I think it's smart 531 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,371 you're saving a little money doing this yourselves. 532 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,538 Totally. Now we're only 30 grand down 533 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,740 from the whole whiskey thing. 534 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,676 Hey, wait a minute. 535 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:10,943 What is this? 536 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,078 HETTY: It's a letter. 537 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,146 Does possum have pen pal? 538 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,582 Open it up, Sam. 539 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,517 "My dearest Earl..." 540 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,786 (yelps) That was my bootlegger boyfriend. 541 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,255 (laughs) The letter must have fallen out of the crate. 542 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,223 "I can't wait for us to be together 543 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,892 once we get rid of you-know-who." 544 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,494 Signed, T. 545 00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,728 "Get rid of...?" 546 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,463 Sam. This might have something to do 547 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,633 - with Alberta's murder. - Did Earl knock me off? 548 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,703 Or maybe it was T. But who the hell is T? 549 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:40,139 Samantha, fire up that podcast machine. 550 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,775 - We've got two new suspects. - (gasps) 551 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:52,251 Captioning sponsored by CBS 552 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,855 and TOYOTA. 553 00:20:55,955 --> 00:21:00,393 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org