1
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,807
Got talked into
buying the big carriage.
2
00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:08,442
That's a lot of carriage,
let me tell you.
3
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,777
- Hmm?
- Two horse powered.
4
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,212
Wow.
5
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,813
Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,
6
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,183
and General Washington himself.
7
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,417
I heard they're in town
8
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,252
for the big
Freemason gathering.
9
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,587
(sighs) It's the most
illustrious group
10
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:20,954
of men
in the American colonies.
11
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,790
Oh, to be one of them.
12
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,258
CYRUS:
Oh, I think Ben Franklin's
13
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,826
- actually coming over here.
- What?
14
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,728
Laugh, man.
Laugh like I've made a quip.
15
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:28,896
(forced laughter)
16
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,531
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN:
Higgintoot.
17
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:31,732
I trust you're well?
18
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,768
Yes, well,
three of my five nephews
19
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,670
survived the winter,
so we're pleased.
20
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,606
Oh, excellent news.
Excellent news.
21
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,508
You know, I was actually
wondering whether
22
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,377
you'd be free to drop by
the Freemason lodge
23
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,878
this Friday at 5:00.
24
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,948
- I could use a man like you.
- Of course.
25
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,151
Ah! Splendid, then.
I'll see you there.
26
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,020
And, uh-- ooh!
Enjoy the view.
27
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,890
Ah, yes.
28
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,160
Knockers. (chuckles)
My favorite.
29
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,062
I wish she had three
instead of two. (chuckles)
30
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,098
Right. (clears throat)
31
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,134
Damn those pesky wedding vows.
32
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,902
♪ ♪
33
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,373
Okay, great.
34
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:13,374
See you tomorrow.
35
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,676
- Thank you.
- Hmm?
36
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,245
Jay, we just got
another booking for the event.
37
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:18,679
- Yeah1
- Event? What event?
38
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,514
Nothing was run by me
as lady of the house.
39
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,550
Again--
Because you're dead.
40
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,118
But just to bring
everybody up to speed,
41
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,387
we are hosting
a high-end whiskey tasting...
42
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,189
- (whoops)
- ...and so far,
43
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,523
the feedback's been great.
44
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,958
We even got
a writer from Sippr NY
45
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:33,161
to come review it,
which is huge.
46
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:35,929
Sippr is like Eater,
but for drinks.
47
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,899
To put it in terms
you still don't understand.
48
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:42,102
Well, I don't like that
the event promotes alcohol use.
49
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,604
Said the cocaine fiend.
50
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,573
But I do like your description
of it as high-end.
51
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,974
Sounds snooty. Well done.
52
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,176
(phone buzzing, ringing)
53
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,010
Oh, hold on.
54
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,513
It's crazy you can publicize
a drinking event.
55
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,148
In my day,
when folks were boozing,
56
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,549
you didn't know if you were
going to get arrested,
57
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,619
get shot or go blind.
58
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:02,089
Ooh-whee! It was fun. (laughs)
59
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,391
JAY:
Are you sure?
60
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:07,228
Okay. Uh, well,
uh, thanks, I guess.
61
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,929
Bad news, babe.
62
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,131
Um, you know
how I was supposed to secure
63
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,766
the liquor license
before the B and B opened?
64
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,435
Might want to get down here!
65
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,003
Sam and Jay are
about to have a fight.
66
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,438
Well, I forgot.
67
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,408
But then, in kind
of a hero move,
68
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,343
last week,
I realized that I forgot.
69
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,077
Jay, the whiskey tasting
is tomorrow.
70
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,947
Which is why I have been
hounding the liquor board
71
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,483
to expedite the process,
and that was them.
72
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,385
And they said
that the earliest
73
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,454
that they can come
to do an inspection
74
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,189
is eight weeks from now.
75
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,091
No. We've been serving
alcohol for months.
76
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,060
Welcome drinks,
wine pairings with dinner.
77
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,563
Wait, we have
been doing it for months,
78
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,097
and we haven't been caught.
79
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,366
So what's one more day?
80
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,435
Yes. Jay, I like your style.
81
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:50,771
If we cancel on the Sippr guy,
he may never come back.
82
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,873
We'll be blowing
a huge opportunity.
83
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,008
As the wife of a robber baron,
84
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:58,946
if I might just add,
sometimes one must skirt the law
85
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,814
to advance
one's own business.
86
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,450
This is nuts.
Serving alcohol
87
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,418
without a license
is a criminal offense.
88
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,019
What are the ghosts saying?
89
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,555
Well, Hetty's saying
sometimes you need
90
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,756
to bend the law in business,
91
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,190
and Pete's arguing against.
92
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:13,227
And whose mansion
are we standing in right now?
93
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,462
Okay, I had a three-bedroom
94
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,264
in a very good
school district.
95
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,432
I guess it's just
one more day.
96
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,101
Yes, Sam!
Let's break the damn law.
97
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,570
(laughs)
98
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,239
And please enjoy
this cheese platter
99
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,040
while we wait for the other
guests to arrive.
100
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,842
Thank you so much.
101
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,878
Uh, Sam, why are we wasting
space on almonds?
102
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,514
We need pungent.
Where's the Roquefort?
103
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,450
Who are the young folk?
104
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,719
Ah, they're here
for the whiskey tasting.
105
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,588
She's an art history major,
and he's a frat guy
106
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,089
trying to prove
he's not a douche
107
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,657
by bringing her
to this classy event.
108
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,926
I am tired of people
stereotyping frat dudes.
109
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,395
We are just as refined
as the next guy.
110
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,730
Babe, check it out.
111
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:50,998
Frog testicles.
112
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,434
Yes, he's a remarkable
young man.
113
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:57,438
Damn, I miss my frat days.
Great friends, epic parties.
114
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,139
Isaac knows
what I'm talking about.
115
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,174
- He was a Freemason.
- What's a Freemason?
116
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:04,312
We were the original
fraternal organization.
117
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:08,148
Ben Franklin,
George Washington, Samuel Adams
118
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,850
were counted
amongst our membership.
119
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,619
It was, like,
crazy exclusive.
120
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,020
The kid who played
Chunk in Goonies
121
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,523
was in my pledge class,
so I get it.
122
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,791
Here's an idea.
123
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,460
What if we started
our own fraternity?
124
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,894
- (gasps)
- A ghost fraternity?
125
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,731
- Oh, hell yes!
- A ghost fraternity?
126
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,499
Okay, but how is that
any different than all of us
127
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,401
just hanging out
like we always do?
128
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,803
Because a fraternity
has rituals and traditions.
129
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,305
And a cool
secret handshake!
130
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,973
ISAAC:
Yes.
131
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,442
Also, it's slightly different
132
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,876
than what we do
every other day.
133
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,546
Yeah!
Anything different is good.
134
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,647
Okay, fine. I'm in.
135
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,215
(grunts)
Flower, what do you say?
136
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,685
I forget what we were
talking about.
137
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,854
It's just like
doing bong hits with Chunk.
138
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:50,057
I love it.
This frat's gonna be amazing!
139
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,461
Is that the guy from Sippr?
140
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:56,296
ALBERTA:
Yep, and he is making
love to that whiskey.
141
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,731
So what do you think?
142
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:01,569
Notes of vanilla, dried fruit,
143
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,771
a playful offering
with which to start.
144
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,305
- (doorbell ringing)
- Uh...
145
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,075
If you'll excuse me,
I'll be right back.
146
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,713
- Hi. Jay Arondekar?
- Yes.
147
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,816
My name's Sherry. I'm with the
Hudson Valley Liquor Authority.
148
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,051
Sam, we're being raided.
Toilet, sink or drink.
149
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,720
You got to get rid
of the hooch.
150
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,422
I'm here
to inspect your property
151
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,890
for a liquor license.
152
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,958
Oh. (weak chuckle)
I thought you couldn't come
153
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,360
for, like, eight weeks.
154
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,961
Well, today is your lucky day.
155
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,497
I had a cancellation
and was told you folks
156
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,499
are in a bit
of a time crunch.
157
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,166
Now isn't exactly
the best time,
158
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,268
so maybe you could come back,
like, say, tomorrow?
159
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,737
Once we arrive,
if we're denied entry,
160
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,407
- it's an automatic fail.
- Meaning...
161
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,842
You'll have to wait a year
before you reapply.
162
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,712
Okay, uh, would you
just hold on one moment?
163
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,847
- SHERRY: No, wait-- What?
- Thanks.
164
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,216
This is not good.
165
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,118
We can't be without
a liquor license for a year.
166
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,986
We have to get
the guests out of here.
167
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,255
Wow. I guess someone's wishing
they listened to the fellow
168
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,224
with the modest house
after all, huh?
169
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,693
What are we gonna do? Are we
gonna kick out the Sippr guy?
170
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,862
Can you imagine
the review he'll write?
171
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:02,963
He'll shred us.
172
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,231
- I have an idea.
- SAM: What?
173
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,232
I said, "He'll shred us."
174
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,834
I was talking to Alberta.
175
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,437
Okay, well, you can see how
it's confusing, though, right?
176
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,371
Well, you have a bunch of booze
177
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:12,706
and a bunch of thirsty customers
178
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,242
with Johnny Law
breathing down your neck.
179
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:18,345
And you also have a secret room
with a hidden entrance.
180
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,748
What are you saying, Alberta?
181
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,950
Girl, I'm saying
let's do a damn speakeasy.
182
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,318
Alberta's suggesting
that we sneak our guests
183
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,020
into the vault
and call it a speakeasy.
184
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,922
(exhales)
That's a great idea.
185
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,525
It's cool, it's down
a secret passageway.
186
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,226
That's what I'm saying!
187
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,895
We could sell it as part
188
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,864
of the whiskey tasting
experience, make it our theme.
189
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,999
I strongly advise against this.
190
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,634
You're gonna run
a speakeasy in the house
191
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,169
while that woman
is performing inspections?
192
00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,170
This is crazy.
193
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,806
Yes, Pete, apparently we are.
194
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,941
Ooh, all right, Sam!
You won't regret it.
195
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,010
Yeah, unless they get
fined, arrested,
196
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,278
or put out of business.
197
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,613
Either way, it's gonna be
198
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,182
a wild night. (laughing)
199
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,256
- What's going on?
- It's 1928,
200
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,692
and Johnny Law
is hot on our tails.
201
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,560
Oh, is this like
a speakeasy thing?
202
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,997
Yes, exactly. And as long as you
know the password-- um, uh...
203
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,199
Arrow... nerd.
204
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,334
Pretty sure Arrow
would have sufficed.
205
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,435
Then you can come on in.
206
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,437
- Arrow nerd.
- SAM: You're in.
207
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,839
ALBERTA:
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
208
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,073
(creaking)
209
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,309
- (laughs)
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
210
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,745
♪ ♪
211
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:30,518
So, uh, how long do you think
this is going to take?
212
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,920
Well, I need to check
the common spaces,
213
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,523
make sure there are an
appropriate number of egresses,
214
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:38,458
look at the general
sanitary conditions,
215
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,328
ensure there's no pest feces
or active infestations.
216
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,463
Cool.
So, like, ten or 15 minutes?
217
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,465
This is going to take
several hours, sir.
218
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,636
Ooh, the Paper Mate 98 ball pen?
219
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,804
(chuckling):
Oh, this gal means business.
220
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,706
That baby glides.
221
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,274
Ooh. Yeah.
222
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,276
You've all been chosen
as members
223
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:57,811
of the inaugural class
224
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:01,114
of the very exclusive
ghost fraternity.
225
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,783
What makes it exclusive?
226
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,518
Pete and Alberta
aren't in it.
227
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,386
Didn't they choose
not to be in it?
228
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,622
Be that as it may,
they're out.
229
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,424
Now, you may be wondering,
what is a frat?
230
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,894
And the answer is
an organization that promotes
231
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,228
high-minded conversations
232
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,164
about philosophy,
poetry and ethics.
233
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,332
What?
No, it's not that at all.
234
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,869
It's about binge drinking,
taking drugs,
235
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,104
and doing one day of charity
every three years.
236
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,639
But, Trevor, we're ghosts.
237
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,541
We can't do
any of those things.
238
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,810
Okay, fine, but we don't
have to be lame.
239
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,946
We can do fun stuff,
like jumping off the roof.
240
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,948
Yes! (laughs)
241
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,449
Like ättestupa.
242
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,919
In Viking society,
when old people
243
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,988
no longer able
to support themselves,
244
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,590
we throw them off cliff.
245
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,592
Is very fun.
246
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,493
Just every story, man,
247
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,328
- it just keeps getting darker.
- Yeah.
248
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,732
Wouldn't everyone prefer
to plumb the depths
249
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,001
of human knowledge
and learn timeless lessons
250
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,504
about morality,
like we did in the Freemasons?
251
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,472
Look, guys, I think
we have different visions
252
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,041
of this thing,
which is fine.
253
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,843
Doesn't mean that one's
better than the other.
254
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,545
Just means that you should
start your own frat.
255
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,248
And I'll do the cool one.
256
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,450
So...
257
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,785
how's it going down here?
258
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,754
A completely
immersive experience
259
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,723
to go along
with the tasting. Well done.
260
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,725
And the fake corpse--
That's a nice touch.
261
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:20,493
Look, I can make him
pick his nose.
262
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,931
- That's great, Blane.
- Oh, they're being so loud.
263
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,600
The inspector's going to hear.
This is so nerve-racking.
264
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,702
Pete, this is living!
265
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,938
Didn't you ever color
outside the lines?
266
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,606
Well, one time
I was late for a movie,
267
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,474
so I parked
in a loading zone.
268
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,509
It was a Sunday,
so it was probably allowed,
269
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,712
but, man, it ruined
Gremlins for me.
270
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,981
We lived very different
lives, Pete Martino.
271
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,351
BOTH:
Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn!
272
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,686
Jump, Thor!
273
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,888
Now that Thor up here, it, uh...
274
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,256
seems pretty high.
275
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,324
Starting to feel bad
276
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,960
for old people
we throw off cliff.
277
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,763
You're a ghost.
You'll be fine.
278
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,397
Oh.
279
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,333
Is this stove
properly ventilated?
280
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,402
Yes, I would assume it is.
281
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,471
Well, you'd be surprised.
282
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,473
A lot of these older homes
have renovations
283
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,441
- that were done
without proper permitting.
- (Thor screaming)
284
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,310
Oh, my God!
285
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,080
Improper permitting, you say?
286
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,615
Yes, it's a real problem.
287
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,053
- Thor rules!
- Oh, my God!
288
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,923
Best fraternity ever! Yes!
289
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,524
- (cheering continues)
- (doorbell chimes)
290
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,694
I'll be right back.
291
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,763
- Arrow nerd.
- Excuse me?
292
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,265
Our buddy texted us
about a speakeasy here.
293
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,301
Oh, yeah, that's not
actually happening anymore.
294
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:35,803
MAN:
But he just texted us.
295
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,405
- Hey, yo, Blane!
- (whispers): Okay, okay.
296
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,539
It was a test.
297
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,874
And you passed,
298
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,810
so shut up,
follow me, quietly.
299
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,945
♪ ♪
300
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,653
ISAAC:
"Any moment might be our last,
301
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,923
everything is more beautiful
because we are doomed."
302
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,858
Anyone know from where
those words come?
303
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,127
- My worst nightmare?
- ISAAC: No.
304
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,595
It's The Iliad! (laughs)
305
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,965
This is the point
of a fraternal organization.
306
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,400
The Freemasons sought
to build moral character
307
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,069
through study of the classics.
308
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,171
- TREVOR: "The classics."
- (laughter)
309
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,842
Hey, what's going on
lame-da, lame-da, lame-da?
310
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,644
- We're going to party in vault!
- You guys should come.
311
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,780
No, rest assured,
we're quite fine in here.
312
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,181
TREVOR:
Suit yourself.
313
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,616
Lame-da! (laughs)
314
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:24,852
(both sigh)
315
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:28,555
Okay, where were we?
Ah, yes.
316
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,923
Throwing a party of our own.
317
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,792
- I can't do this, man.
- What?
318
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,693
Look, I joined your frat
'cause I hate siding
319
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,229
with Trevor
on basically anything, but...
320
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,065
I just gotta get out of here.
321
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,703
Well, it's just
you and me, then.
322
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,539
That was so rude of Sasappis
323
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,041
just to leave us
here like that.
324
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,878
I think I should go give him
a piece of my mind.
325
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,280
- You just want to go
to the party, don't you?
- Desperately.
326
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,783
Thank you for understanding. Oh!
327
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,253
- HVU!
- (overlapping party chatter)
328
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,622
- MAN: Go, Turtles!
- Man, these guys can drink.
329
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,624
I had two light beers
in college one night.
330
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,960
Woke up in a trash heap
in northern Nevada.
331
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,495
Ooh!
332
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:12,432
Oh, well, well, well.
Look what the cat dragged in.
333
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,301
Yes, fine.
We got bored. You win.
334
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,804
Go ahead, do that weird
gesture with your hands
335
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,973
- where you make a little "T."
- T-Money! Yeah, that one?
336
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,775
- Ugh.
- Ugh. Good.
Get it out of your system.
337
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,743
Wait. Where's Isaac?
338
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,813
Oh, uh, he's, uh,
still at the frat meeting.
339
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,215
You left him
at the meeting alone?
340
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:31,218
- Yes, and we feel
awful about it.
- Mm-hmm.
341
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,920
(gasps) Tiny hot dogs.
342
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,188
Oh, they smell just as good
as the big boys.
343
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,857
(music playing softly)
344
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,926
- SAM: Hey.
- Hi.
345
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,393
So how's it going up there?
346
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,529
Slow. That lady is thorough.
347
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,031
How's Sippr guy
enjoying himself?
348
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,866
He thinks
that the high-end whiskey
349
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,335
that we're serving him
isn't "special."
350
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,037
Uh, Sam, if I may,
351
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,738
I know where
you can get a whiskey
352
00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,874
that will knock
this man's socks off.
353
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,376
- Am I holding for ghosts?
- Yup.
354
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,311
My bootlegger boyfriend
stored booze upstairs
355
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,347
- the night I performed.
- Do you think it's still there?
356
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,883
Oh, I know it is.
I'll take you right to it.
357
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,618
Okay. Hey, uh, Elliot.
358
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,256
Uh, how would you like to try
Prohibition-era whiskey
359
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:12,659
stashed on this property
100 years ago by bootleggers?
360
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,161
I would like
to try that very much.
361
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,229
Great. Wait here
and we'll be right back.
362
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,032
Uh, there is just
one little problem.
363
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,869
- It's in the wall.
- SAM: Seriously?
364
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,170
Damn it.
365
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,044
SAM:
Jay, Alberta said the
whiskey is still in the wall.
366
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,712
ALBERTA:
(chuckles) Mm-hmm.
367
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,214
Yep, it's still there.
368
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,983
Oh, my precious booze.
369
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,450
And also a possum skeleton.
370
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,786
He died years before
you guys moved in.
371
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,421
Cute little guy.
You know, pre-rotting.
372
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,991
All right, I'm all done
with my inspection.
373
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:45,792
- Everything looks good.
- Oh!
374
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,360
Great. So you're leaving?
375
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,563
Yup, just as soon as I fill out
the requisite paperwork.
376
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,465
Okay if I set up shop
in the kitchen?
377
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,802
Uh... Why don't you use
the library?
378
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:59,272
- It's more comfortable.
- Or the upstairs den.
379
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,141
Very end of the hall. Quiet.
380
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,843
No, the kitchen's fine.
381
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,014
SAM:
This is insane.
382
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,182
There's no way we can break
a hole in this wall
383
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,184
without Sherry hearing us.
384
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,819
Okay, I have an idea.
385
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,654
We Shawshank it.
386
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,491
Shawshank Redemption.
The movie.
387
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,894
- I still haven't seen it.
- JAY: Seriously?
388
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,829
- Sam, it's on, like,
four times a day.
- Okay.
389
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,864
In that movie, the main guy,
Andy Dufresne,
390
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,733
he escapes from prison
by crawling through a pipe,
391
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,601
and what he does is
he waits for a storm,
392
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,603
and then he uses the cracks
of thunder to cover up
393
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,973
when he hits the pipe
with a rock.
394
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,508
So you're saying
we should wait for a storm?
395
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:40,713
No, babe, I'm saying
we make our own storm.
396
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,851
Is anyone else
turned on right now?
397
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,219
A little.
398
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,290
This woman is a machine!
Working in pen,
399
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,359
no cross-outs, really focused.
400
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,061
Oh, Jay looks like
he's gearing up, Sam.
401
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,662
Oh, don't mind me.
402
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,764
I'm just gonna
tenderize a little meat.
403
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,232
No problem.
404
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,368
And now!
405
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,203
(simultaneous thuds)
406
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,471
And now!
407
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,539
(simultaneous thuds)
408
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,209
And now!
409
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,444
(thudding and wood clattering)
410
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:15,248
Oh, that's a beefy rib-eye.
411
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,351
Oh, my God.
412
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,522
(chuckles) Ooh-whee! Yes.
413
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,992
That's some sweet Kentucky
bath water.
414
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,760
Mm, and one nasty-ass possum.
415
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,929
(Sam groans)
416
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,601
TREVOR:
Hey, I've been
looking for you, bud.
417
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,503
I suppose you've come to gloat
418
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,505
about your fraternity
vanquishing mine.
419
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,274
No, I came
to invite you downstairs.
420
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,210
It may not be
a Masonic lodge,
421
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,245
but speakeasy's pretty cool.
422
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,913
And we missed you.
423
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,882
Well, the truth is,
I wouldn't even know
424
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,552
what the inside
of a Masonic lodge looked like.
425
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,287
What are you talking about?
(gasps)
426
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,989
Was it all freaky
blindfolded stuff?
427
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,790
No, Trevor.
428
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:02,862
Despite my claims, I never
actually was a Freemason.
429
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,034
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN:
Wow! (chuckles)
430
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:10,803
I had heard the rumors,
but that is a big carriage.
431
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,540
Well, it doesn't get
the best miles per bale of hay,
432
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,974
but, uh, she sure is roomy.
433
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,309
Indeed. Indeed.
434
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,745
And a good thing too, Higgintoot,
435
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,847
because I've invited you
here today
436
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,150
because I would like you
437
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,152
to take a large oak desk
438
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,853
to John Jay's house.
439
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,257
You mean...
You mean after the meeting?
440
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,958
After the...
441
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,194
Oh, dear.
442
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,063
You thought I was inviting you
443
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,231
to the Freemasons meeting.
444
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,968
Oh...
I mean, I... I mean, no.
445
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,771
Look, after John Jay's,
why don't you come back?
446
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,139
Really?
447
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,742
Oh, darn it!
I've done it again, haven't I?
448
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,445
I simply meant in case
any of the Freemasons
449
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,846
needed a ride home. (chuckles)
450
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,882
I am sorry.
451
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,921
So, when I got the chance
to start my own fraternity,
452
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,091
I decided to turn it
into the Freemasons,
453
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,492
so I could finally belong.
454
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,528
But here I am,
rejected once again.
455
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,530
They didn't reject you today.
456
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:11,831
They rejected being
in the Freemasons,
457
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,433
Which makes sense,
'cause it seems
458
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,934
like the Freemasons
kind of sucked.
459
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,504
And Ben Franklin--
I hate to say this,
460
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:18,771
as a Penn guy--
sounds like a dick.
461
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,341
He was a bit full of himself.
462
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,510
Although,
he did discover electricity.
463
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,778
Like they weren't gonna
find that.
464
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,381
Look, I didn't get
into my first choice frat,
465
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,749
but the guys I ended up with
466
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,351
turned out to be
my best friends.
467
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,020
Didn't one of them dump
your dead body into a lake?
468
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,957
The point is, you may not
have chosen us ghosts,
469
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,626
but you're here now,
470
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,461
and we're lucky to have you.
471
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:43,763
Thank you, Trevor.
472
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,765
You know, there's a statue
473
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,667
of Ben Franklin
on campus at Penn,
474
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,001
him sitting on a bench.
475
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,337
Ugh, of course there is.
476
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,239
Why are you telling me this?
477
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,506
Because every weekend,
478
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,442
kids get drunk
and pee all over it.
479
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,210
Oh.
480
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,579
Oh, Trevor...
481
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,715
What a gift you've given me.
482
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,652
So, what do you think?
483
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,288
I have never
had anything like it.
484
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,390
I feel like I've been training
my whole life for this.
485
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:11,858
Cheers.
486
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,094
ALBERTA:
Little tip, Sam.
487
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,996
You and Jay wait
20 minutes before drinking it,
488
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,865
see if any of these folks
go blind.
489
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,802
I can't believe it.
We pass our inspection,
490
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,671
we nail the whiskey tasting.
491
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:25,938
Are we great business people?
492
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,608
- We might be.
- (both laugh)
493
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,944
Oh, what a night.
That was fun.
494
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,746
I gotta admit,
I was nervous at first,
495
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,715
but then I started to,
you know, get into it.
496
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,218
Ooh, see?
Being bad feels pretty good.
497
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,686
- Doesn't it?
- It was exciting.
498
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,954
That's why you gotta take
risks every now and then.
499
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,791
Yeah, you're right.
You're totally right.
500
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,160
Pete, you spent your whole life
being afraid.
501
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:50,096
Don't make that same mistake
in your afterlife.
502
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,199
Just go for it.
503
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:53,800
Okay.
504
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,636
Whoa!
505
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,308
Okay. You're gonna see
this as a defeat,
506
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:03,976
but this is a proud moment
for you,
507
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,446
and I want you
to acknowledge that.
508
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,047
PETE:
Okay, I feel... I feel proud.
509
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,849
Good.
510
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,984
♪ ♪
511
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,954
(music playing)
512
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:18,925
Hey, to the ghost frat
and its founding member,
513
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,693
Isaac Higgintoot.
514
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,529
ALL:
Huzzah!
515
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,096
THOR:
Yeah!
516
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,965
♪ ♪
517
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:29,135
(sighs) What an event.
I mean, hats off to you both.
518
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,871
Someone is gonna get
a very nice review in Sippr.
519
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,640
That's great. Uh, thank you.
520
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,174
I mean,
I really don't understand
521
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,743
your business model at all.
522
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,445
Just giving away $5,000 bottles
of vintage whiskey,
523
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,513
but I am not complaining.
524
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,582
(nervous chuckle)
525
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,518
Did he say $5,000?
526
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,886
(guests whooping)
527
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,189
- Yeah!
- Can't get enough... ♪
528
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,660
Are we bad business people?
529
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,695
We might be.
530
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,935
You know, I think it's smart
531
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,371
you're saving a little money
doing this yourselves.
532
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,538
Totally.
Now we're only 30 grand down
533
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,740
from the whole whiskey thing.
534
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,676
Hey, wait a minute.
535
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:10,943
What is this?
536
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,078
HETTY:
It's a letter.
537
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,146
Does possum have pen pal?
538
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,582
Open it up, Sam.
539
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,517
"My dearest Earl..."
540
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,786
(yelps) That was
my bootlegger boyfriend.
541
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,255
(laughs) The letter must
have fallen out of the crate.
542
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,223
"I can't wait for us
to be together
543
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,892
once we get rid
of you-know-who."
544
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,494
Signed, T.
545
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,728
"Get rid of...?"
546
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,463
Sam. This might have
something to do
547
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,633
- with Alberta's murder.
- Did Earl knock me off?
548
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,703
Or maybe it was T.
But who the hell is T?
549
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:40,139
Samantha, fire up
that podcast machine.
550
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,775
- We've got two new suspects.
- (gasps)
551
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:52,251
Captioning sponsored by CBS
552
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,855
and TOYOTA.
553
00:20:55,955 --> 00:21:00,393
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org