1 00:00:07,876 --> 00:00:11,834 [The Author narrates] Long, long ago, in a land not that far away, 2 00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:15,293 a succession of kings believed God granted them the right 3 00:00:15,293 --> 00:00:17,751 to rule England however they chose. 4 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:21,001 You know Henry the Eighth? Giant redheaded Tudor King. 5 00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:24,209 Treated his wives like Kleenex: one blow and you're out. 6 00:00:24,209 --> 00:00:26,543 Divorced, beheaded, died, 7 00:00:26,543 --> 00:00:28,293 divorced, beheaded, survived. 8 00:00:28,293 --> 00:00:29,376 Whew. 9 00:00:29,376 --> 00:00:32,793 [Author] Next on the throne was his son, Edward. 10 00:00:32,793 --> 00:00:33,834 Oh dear. 11 00:00:33,959 --> 00:00:37,584 When he died, the Kingdom expected the crown to go to his half sisters, 12 00:00:37,584 --> 00:00:39,501 {\an8}Mary, or even Elizabeth. 13 00:00:39,501 --> 00:00:42,709 {\an8}But instead, came a total bloody shocker. 14 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:46,001 Lady Jane Grey. 15 00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:48,876 Intellectual rebel, a bit of a pain in the ass, 16 00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:52,626 and a political pawn for her ambitious noble family. 17 00:00:52,626 --> 00:00:56,793 Jane was married without her consent and crowned Queen against her will. 18 00:00:56,793 --> 00:01:01,751 Then, just nine days later, she was branded a traitor. 19 00:01:01,751 --> 00:01:03,668 And... 20 00:01:03,668 --> 00:01:07,293 wham... off with her head. 21 00:01:07,418 --> 00:01:10,293 Jane could have been the leader England needed. 22 00:01:10,293 --> 00:01:14,584 But instead, history remembers her as the ultimate damsel in distress. 23 00:01:14,584 --> 00:01:16,376 Fuck that. 24 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:19,168 What if history were different? 25 00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:20,584 [♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel"] 26 00:01:20,584 --> 00:01:22,709 Never do anything you don't want to do. 27 00:01:22,709 --> 00:01:25,001 [Esther] I do want it, though, Lady Jane. 28 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,584 Well, then my advice is, if his member looks pustular... 29 00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:30,084 - Don't shag him. - Wise words, Susannah. 30 00:01:30,084 --> 00:01:33,626 - I made this salve to cure your itch. - Aren't you clever? 31 00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:35,459 Isn't she clever? 32 00:01:35,459 --> 00:01:37,793 So, when's my cunny set for shagging? 33 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,376 A few weeks. 34 00:01:39,376 --> 00:01:42,834 I can't abstain for a few weeks. Could you? 35 00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:45,001 I couldn't. But Jane wouldn't know. 36 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:47,126 She's a lady. Saving herself for marriage. 37 00:01:47,126 --> 00:01:49,668 I'm saving myself for myself, actually. 38 00:01:49,668 --> 00:01:52,209 In fact, I may never marry. 39 00:01:52,209 --> 00:01:54,834 [laughing] 40 00:01:54,834 --> 00:01:57,709 Yes, mock the person who's curing your vagina. 41 00:01:57,709 --> 00:02:00,084 [Esther] But how will you live? 42 00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:02,418 What will you do? What would your mother say? 43 00:02:02,418 --> 00:02:04,459 - Lady Frances doesn't know. - And I don't really care what she thinks. 44 00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:05,834 I've got bigger plans. 45 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,459 Go on, tell her. 46 00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:10,459 I'm writing the world's first complete compendium 47 00:02:10,459 --> 00:02:12,834 of England's medicinal herbs and their uses. 48 00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:14,501 - Herbs? - Herbs. 49 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:15,959 Herbs. 50 00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:19,376 Text, and drawings for those who can't read. 51 00:02:19,376 --> 00:02:21,668 I intend to publish it and sell it. 52 00:02:21,668 --> 00:02:24,251 - [knock on door] - Perhaps I can make enough money to actually live independently. 53 00:02:24,251 --> 00:02:26,209 Where is the bloody Calendula officinalis? 54 00:02:27,376 --> 00:02:28,626 - [Susannah] Jane? - Found it. 55 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:31,418 - The Duke of Leicester is coming. - Bollocks. Is that today? 56 00:02:32,668 --> 00:02:35,001 - She told me to get flowers. - [Susannah laughs] 57 00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:36,126 Use it twice a day! 58 00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:38,168 [♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel" continues] 59 00:02:38,168 --> 00:02:40,501 - ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo ♪ - [whooping] 60 00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:42,376 ♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪ 61 00:02:42,376 --> 00:02:44,459 ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo... ♪ 62 00:02:44,459 --> 00:02:46,293 [Susannah] Jane, look. 63 00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,959 New stable boy. Lush. 64 00:02:49,959 --> 00:02:51,834 He's teaching me how to ride. 65 00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:53,834 ♪ They put you down ♪ 66 00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:55,834 - [both chuckle] - ♪ They say I'm wrong ♪ 67 00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:58,876 - [bells ringing] - ♪ You tacky thing, you put them on ♪ 68 00:02:58,876 --> 00:03:02,751 ♪ Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress ♪ 69 00:03:02,751 --> 00:03:06,584 ♪ Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess ♪ 70 00:03:06,584 --> 00:03:07,959 ♪ Rebel Rebel ♪ 71 00:03:07,959 --> 00:03:09,876 - ♪ How could they know? ♪ - [horses neighing] 72 00:03:09,876 --> 00:03:13,459 ♪ Hot tramp, I love you so... ♪ 73 00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,876 - [horses neighing] - [horseman] Whoa! 74 00:03:15,876 --> 00:03:18,626 {\an8}- [song fades] - Whoa. 75 00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,251 [horses neigh] 76 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:22,876 Did you chew them? 77 00:03:22,876 --> 00:03:24,751 - Shut up, Margaret. - They're lovely. 78 00:03:24,751 --> 00:03:26,709 - Shut up, Katherine. - Shut up, all of you. 79 00:03:26,709 --> 00:03:28,876 And smile. Earn your keep. 80 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:32,459 [Author] When Jane's father died with no male heir, 81 00:03:32,459 --> 00:03:36,043 his great-uncle once removed, the Duke of Leicester, 82 00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:37,334 inherited everything, 83 00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:41,959 leaving the Grey widow and daughters dependent on Leicester's charity 84 00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:44,709 for their very survival. 85 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,376 [cackles] 86 00:03:49,126 --> 00:03:50,918 [Margaret grunts] 87 00:03:50,918 --> 00:03:53,251 [Duke] Ghastly crowds on the London Road. 88 00:03:53,251 --> 00:03:54,501 A hanging at Chepstow. 89 00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:56,668 Oh, no, what a bother. 90 00:03:56,668 --> 00:03:58,793 - I think we should burn them all. - Margaret. 91 00:03:58,793 --> 00:04:00,626 Quite agree, poppet. 92 00:04:01,543 --> 00:04:06,501 The latest Division Laws stipulate death for the trespassing Ethian menace, 93 00:04:06,501 --> 00:04:08,668 but not method, 94 00:04:08,668 --> 00:04:12,876 and interpretation is the enemy of efficiency. 95 00:04:14,126 --> 00:04:16,668 You've grown up, haven't you? 96 00:04:16,668 --> 00:04:19,251 Bless you, child. [chuckles] 97 00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:21,293 You'd be prettier if you smiled. 98 00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:22,834 Would I? 99 00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,209 [Frances] Your Grace, now do you have the-- 100 00:04:25,209 --> 00:04:27,584 [flies buzzing] 101 00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:31,501 Elevation eases my gout. 102 00:04:32,918 --> 00:04:34,084 Cherries are good for that. 103 00:04:34,084 --> 00:04:36,043 - You know, I read that-- - [Duke] You read? 104 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,126 In a book? 105 00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:42,501 I never permitted my wives-- all dead in childbirth-- 106 00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:45,876 The fruits of my loins are very large. 107 00:04:45,876 --> 00:04:47,709 [Duke cackling] 108 00:04:47,709 --> 00:04:51,959 I never permitted any of them to read or even own any books at all. 109 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,959 Yes, why did you burden us with all this education, Mother? 110 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:56,668 Because stupid women are tedious. 111 00:04:56,668 --> 00:04:57,959 [whispers] What about stupid men? 112 00:04:57,959 --> 00:05:00,501 - Eh? What's that? - Oh, nothing, nothing, Your Grace. 113 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,084 Leicester, pray tell, do you have the confirmation? 114 00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:04,918 Ah. Yes, indeed I do. 115 00:05:04,918 --> 00:05:06,001 Jane! 116 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:09,751 Sweet child, we have secured for you 117 00:05:09,751 --> 00:05:14,584 the most thrilling honor one can bestow upon a young noblewoman. 118 00:05:16,084 --> 00:05:17,959 Your marriage. 119 00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:19,959 [Author] Oh, shit. 120 00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:21,876 My marriage? 121 00:05:23,459 --> 00:05:27,459 [Duke] What modesty! To believe that you are going to die... 122 00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:28,793 Shut up! 123 00:05:28,793 --> 00:05:31,209 - I'm sorry? - You should be! 124 00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:32,501 You're wrong about everything. 125 00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:34,584 I do not look prettier when I smile, 126 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,918 and I am not destined to be wretched. 127 00:05:36,918 --> 00:05:38,959 - I am-- - Overwhelmed by the wonderful news. 128 00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:42,418 Now I will escort Jane to her chambers. [chuckles] 129 00:05:42,418 --> 00:05:43,709 Come along. 130 00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:45,876 - Forgive her, Your Grace. - [Duke laughs] 131 00:05:45,876 --> 00:05:47,209 [mutters indistinctly] 132 00:05:47,209 --> 00:05:49,209 How dare you plot my life with that cretin? 133 00:05:49,209 --> 00:05:52,001 - You drove me to this. - But I don't want to be married. 134 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:54,334 You no longer define your life by what you don't want. 135 00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,959 You refuse to discuss suitors. 136 00:05:56,959 --> 00:06:01,501 Or hunt or dance or do anything except for gossip with your servant 137 00:06:01,501 --> 00:06:04,751 and fiddle with those infernal herbs and books. 138 00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:08,293 Lord Guildford Dudley will be your husband. 139 00:06:08,293 --> 00:06:09,793 Guildford Dudley? 140 00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:13,126 Guildford Dudley? 141 00:06:13,126 --> 00:06:16,501 I've heard of him. The girls at Court say he's vile. 142 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,459 He-he drinks, fights, gambles. 143 00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:20,793 He cavorts with women of ill repute. 144 00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:23,084 He is the last man I would ever marry. 145 00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:25,501 Jane, this marriage protects us. 146 00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:28,543 Leicester will soon tire of his charity towards us, 147 00:06:28,543 --> 00:06:32,918 and I do not intend to leave my house for a wretched hovel in Croydon. 148 00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:34,751 Your father left us nothing. 149 00:06:34,751 --> 00:06:36,876 Our only wealth is blood. 150 00:06:36,876 --> 00:06:40,209 And you are pure Verity and cousin to the King. 151 00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:42,793 The Dudleys will do anything for power, 152 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:45,251 and they are very, very, very rich. 153 00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:46,459 You mercenary bitch. 154 00:06:48,043 --> 00:06:50,209 We do not do that anymore. 155 00:06:51,876 --> 00:06:54,376 In three days' time, you will be wed. 156 00:06:54,376 --> 00:06:57,668 I will do everything in my power to get out of this marriage. 157 00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:00,626 [chuckling] Jane. 158 00:07:00,626 --> 00:07:02,709 You have no power. 159 00:07:06,043 --> 00:07:07,959 My book. 160 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,168 Where is my book? 161 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:12,293 What did you do? 162 00:07:13,376 --> 00:07:15,376 I threw that wretched thing on the fire. 163 00:07:17,543 --> 00:07:20,084 [dramatic orchestral music playing] 164 00:07:31,959 --> 00:07:34,459 [insects chirping] 165 00:07:34,459 --> 00:07:37,168 [Author] There comes a point in everyone's life 166 00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:41,126 when you realize you simply cannot put up with your mother's bullshit 167 00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:43,501 for another moment. 168 00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:47,418 [♪ Kate Nash: "All Day and All of the Night"] 169 00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:56,751 Tell me what pleases you. 170 00:07:56,751 --> 00:07:58,876 ♪ To be with you in the daytime ♪ 171 00:07:58,876 --> 00:08:00,043 Yeah, this works. 172 00:08:02,418 --> 00:08:07,459 ♪ I'm not content to be with you in the daytime ♪ 173 00:08:09,668 --> 00:08:13,001 ♪ I'm not content to be with you... ♪ 174 00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:16,001 [panting] 175 00:08:17,668 --> 00:08:19,084 [sighs] 176 00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:20,168 Psst. 177 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,251 Psst! 178 00:08:25,293 --> 00:08:27,376 [whispers] No. 179 00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,043 [whispers] Now. 180 00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,584 [sighs] 181 00:08:32,793 --> 00:08:34,459 [song fades] 182 00:08:34,459 --> 00:08:37,043 - We're leaving. - I was rather enjoying that. 183 00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:39,626 - Wait, what did you say? - We're leaving. Now. Right now. 184 00:08:39,626 --> 00:08:42,376 We'll go north, find a village where nobody knows us. 185 00:08:42,376 --> 00:08:43,876 I'll make my cures, and you can sell-- 186 00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:46,084 - Are you crazy? - I have been trapped here my entire life. 187 00:08:46,084 --> 00:08:47,959 If I marry, I will be trapped somewhere else. 188 00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:49,334 Now, that is crazy. 189 00:08:49,334 --> 00:08:52,084 - Jane, you don't know what it's like out there. - You sound like... 190 00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:54,709 ...like my mother. 191 00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:56,876 - It's nearly dawn. We must hurry. - It's dangerous. 192 00:08:56,876 --> 00:08:59,418 Ethians, the Pack. People talk of civil war. 193 00:08:59,418 --> 00:09:00,959 You don't really believe that, now, do you? 194 00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:03,084 I mean, when's the last time you even saw an Ethian? 195 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,501 What do you know? You don't go anywhere. 196 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,168 Jane. 197 00:09:07,168 --> 00:09:08,959 When I was a kid, I-- 198 00:09:08,959 --> 00:09:10,709 Your family kicked you out. 199 00:09:10,709 --> 00:09:13,168 - Yes, you told me. There was a man involved. - No, that's not-- 200 00:09:13,168 --> 00:09:15,251 You won't be safe. 201 00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:18,084 I will never be safe while my mother is trying to barter me. 202 00:09:19,501 --> 00:09:22,668 I want my life to be mine, forever. 203 00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:24,459 - Jane-- - Then stay. 204 00:09:24,459 --> 00:09:26,209 I'll be fine on my own. 205 00:09:26,209 --> 00:09:28,168 You'll be dead in a week. 206 00:09:30,584 --> 00:09:31,668 We'll need some money. 207 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:34,209 Do you like my ring? 208 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:38,459 My sweet mother is a sound sleeper. 209 00:09:38,459 --> 00:09:41,126 - ♪ The only time I feel all right ♪ - [♪ Kate Nash: "All Day and All of the Night" resumes] 210 00:09:41,126 --> 00:09:43,626 ♪ Is by your side ♪ 211 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:46,418 ♪ Girl, I want to be with you ♪ 212 00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,459 {\an8}♪ All of the time, all day... ♪ 213 00:09:49,459 --> 00:09:54,376 We'll follow the old path to Marlow, hop the river barge, start our lives. 214 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,918 ♪ All of the time ♪ 215 00:09:55,918 --> 00:09:58,751 ♪ All day and all of the night ♪ 216 00:09:58,751 --> 00:10:02,126 {\an8}♪ Oh, girl, I want to be with you ♪ 217 00:10:02,126 --> 00:10:03,584 {\an8}♪ All of the time ♪ 218 00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:05,876 ♪ All day and all of the night... ♪ 219 00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:07,709 Hey, Jane. 220 00:10:07,709 --> 00:10:09,709 What? 221 00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:10,834 [song ends] 222 00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:12,251 What's that sound? 223 00:10:12,251 --> 00:10:13,668 [horn blows in distance] 224 00:10:13,668 --> 00:10:15,501 [horse neighs] 225 00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:17,084 [dogs barking] 226 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,168 Run. 227 00:10:19,918 --> 00:10:21,376 [dramatic music playing] 228 00:10:21,376 --> 00:10:22,793 [barking continues] 229 00:10:23,876 --> 00:10:25,126 {\an8}Hurry! 230 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,793 [men shouting] 231 00:10:30,084 --> 00:10:31,459 - Come on! - I'm coming. 232 00:10:35,293 --> 00:10:36,793 Hyah! 233 00:10:38,168 --> 00:10:40,501 [panting] 234 00:10:41,584 --> 00:10:43,418 [riders shouting] 235 00:10:46,418 --> 00:10:48,418 Hyah! Hyah! 236 00:10:49,418 --> 00:10:51,584 Come on. 237 00:10:53,543 --> 00:10:55,709 Stop! They're here! 238 00:10:58,168 --> 00:11:00,376 That's the thief that stole my ring 239 00:11:00,376 --> 00:11:01,751 - and kidnapped my daughter. - What? No. Mother, it wasn't-- 240 00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:04,251 She didn't. Let go of her! It was me! 241 00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:06,001 - It was me! - Get off me, you langer! 242 00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:08,418 It was not you. Understand? 243 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,876 I forced her to come! 244 00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:13,959 Your maid will be hanged for stealing, if she doesn't die in prison first. 245 00:11:15,293 --> 00:11:17,376 Jane, forgive me. 246 00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:18,459 [grunts] 247 00:11:20,918 --> 00:11:22,751 [hawk screeches] 248 00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:26,834 Ethian. 249 00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:30,043 Have you forgotten the punishment for hiding an Ethian? 250 00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:31,334 I had no idea. 251 00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:34,209 Then you're a fool. Go home! 252 00:11:34,209 --> 00:11:36,293 ♪ ♪ 253 00:11:43,668 --> 00:11:45,209 [Author] A hawk. 254 00:11:45,209 --> 00:11:48,168 Yes, Susannah is a hawk. 255 00:11:48,168 --> 00:11:50,043 Did I mention that in this world, 256 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,459 some people can transform themselves into an animal? 257 00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:55,293 They're called Ethians. 258 00:11:55,293 --> 00:11:58,668 Everyone else, like Jane, is Verity. 259 00:11:58,668 --> 00:12:01,543 Jane has always known about Ethians, of course. 260 00:12:01,543 --> 00:12:03,709 She just never expected that her maid, 261 00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:06,751 her friend, was one of them. 262 00:12:06,751 --> 00:12:09,709 Jane was taught that Ethians are dangerous abominations 263 00:12:09,709 --> 00:12:12,834 {\an8}sent by Satan to destroy the Verity way of life. 264 00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:14,834 {\an8}Poppycock, of course. 265 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:17,959 As an Ethian, you can't choose your animal form, 266 00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:21,293 but you can switch back and forth whenever you please. 267 00:12:21,293 --> 00:12:23,543 Ethianism skips generations 268 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,793 and pops up now and again, usually in puberty, 269 00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:28,668 during a moment of high emotion. 270 00:12:28,668 --> 00:12:30,793 One minute, you're fighting with your sister, 271 00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:33,126 - the next, bam, you're a badger. - [badger chitters] 272 00:12:33,126 --> 00:12:35,626 It's just one of those things you're born with, 273 00:12:35,626 --> 00:12:39,459 like being left-handed or the color of your eyes. 274 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,793 For decades, Ethians have been reviled, persecuted, banned. 275 00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:46,751 And then King Henry, renowned shithead that he was, 276 00:12:46,751 --> 00:12:51,293 exiled them to the wilderness, where they must hunt, beg or steal 277 00:12:51,293 --> 00:12:53,084 {\an8}to survive. 278 00:12:53,084 --> 00:12:57,084 {\an8}Jane has always wondered what it's like to be an Ethian, 279 00:12:57,084 --> 00:13:00,668 but she'd never known one in real life. 280 00:13:01,751 --> 00:13:06,918 And real life, as we know, can be a real kick in the tits. 281 00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:08,459 [Margaret] Why is Jane sulking? 282 00:13:08,459 --> 00:13:10,709 [Katherine] Mummy's right. Jane's just being difficult. 283 00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:13,126 Oh, how typical of you to be on her side. 284 00:13:14,584 --> 00:13:17,043 Ow! Not fair. I wasn't ready. 285 00:13:17,043 --> 00:13:18,209 I've an idea. 286 00:13:18,209 --> 00:13:21,376 Let's test all the servants with the dunking to see if they're Ethian. 287 00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:22,459 [Jane] A dunking? 288 00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:27,584 And who will feed you and make you fires when all the servants are dead? 289 00:13:28,626 --> 00:13:30,251 - Take that! - Ah! 290 00:13:30,251 --> 00:13:31,876 Margaret, are you all right? 291 00:13:31,876 --> 00:13:34,626 [laughing] Tricked you. 292 00:13:34,626 --> 00:13:36,709 Fake blood? Margaret. 293 00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:37,793 That's cheating! 294 00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:40,084 You mispronounced "winning." 295 00:13:40,084 --> 00:13:42,709 [upbeat music playing] 296 00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:49,043 [Jane] Where are you going? 297 00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,334 Where's she going? 298 00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:54,334 To London to see Lord Dudley. 299 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,543 Planning your wedding. 300 00:14:06,459 --> 00:14:08,001 Hey! 301 00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:09,418 Follow that barge. 302 00:14:09,418 --> 00:14:11,501 ♪ ♪ 303 00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:25,459 [heavy lock clacks] 304 00:14:25,459 --> 00:14:27,626 [door creaks] 305 00:14:27,626 --> 00:14:29,626 - Lady Frances. - Lord Dudley. 306 00:14:31,584 --> 00:14:34,043 And... Lady Jane? 307 00:14:34,043 --> 00:14:35,751 I wasn't expecting... 308 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:39,084 ...my future daughter-in-law. Welcome. 309 00:14:41,168 --> 00:14:42,418 {\an8}- [sheep bleating] - [birds chirping] 310 00:14:42,418 --> 00:14:44,918 {\an8}As you can see, we're installing 311 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:48,501 new tapestries for the nuptials, straight from Firenze. 312 00:14:49,793 --> 00:14:55,209 Braised hog, peacock pie, jellied egret, and my own favorite, roast dolphin. 313 00:14:55,209 --> 00:14:56,751 Oh, yum! 314 00:14:56,751 --> 00:15:00,084 Now, musical players-- how do we feel about the French? 315 00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:01,418 - Tepid. - I know. 316 00:15:01,418 --> 00:15:02,501 Filthy beast-lovers. 317 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,251 But the tunes. Hmm! 318 00:15:05,251 --> 00:15:08,793 I must say, I'm enchanted to finally meet you. 319 00:15:08,793 --> 00:15:11,001 Everybody tells me you're very, very clever. 320 00:15:11,001 --> 00:15:13,459 I think my mother rather regrets my education. 321 00:15:13,459 --> 00:15:15,126 - That's absolute-- - I jest. 322 00:15:15,126 --> 00:15:16,251 [chuckles] 323 00:15:16,251 --> 00:15:20,209 My cousin, King Edward, and I shared tutors as children. 324 00:15:20,209 --> 00:15:22,001 He's my oldest friend. 325 00:15:22,001 --> 00:15:24,918 Oh, kings don't have friends. They have subjects. 326 00:15:24,918 --> 00:15:26,334 And counselors like moi. 327 00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:28,751 My Lord, I'm here to meet your son. 328 00:15:28,751 --> 00:15:31,584 I'm afraid Guildford isn't here. He's out. He's busy doing things. 329 00:15:31,584 --> 00:15:33,834 Things? 330 00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:35,751 Drinking and/or fighting? 331 00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:38,793 Indisposed with a woman of fiscal virtue? 332 00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:40,376 Oh, yes, I know all about those-- 333 00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:41,918 Nerves. [chuckles] 334 00:15:41,918 --> 00:15:43,959 I quite understand. It's a big day. 335 00:15:43,959 --> 00:15:47,334 Now, do you know my other son, Stan, is also engaged? 336 00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:49,501 To a Bavarian princess. 337 00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:51,084 - Really? - Oh, yes. 338 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,126 - Is she very rich? - Filthy. 339 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:56,626 Terrible outbreak of the plague there at the moment, so the wedding is postponed. 340 00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:59,501 But as I said to him, if she can survive the plague, 341 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:00,668 she can survive marriage. 342 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,751 [prolonged laughter] 343 00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:08,751 Actually-- 344 00:16:08,751 --> 00:16:11,043 Dudley and I have a marriage contract to discuss. 345 00:16:11,043 --> 00:16:13,168 I would like to say something first. 346 00:16:13,168 --> 00:16:16,543 Again? By all means, my dear girl. 347 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,001 I don't want to marry your son. 348 00:16:20,418 --> 00:16:23,459 Nobody cares what you want. 349 00:16:23,459 --> 00:16:26,293 Now, when you buy a tapestry, you're not buying it for yourself. 350 00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:28,459 You're buying it for your descendants... 351 00:16:28,459 --> 00:16:31,043 [door slams] 352 00:16:32,043 --> 00:16:34,043 [dramatic music playing] 353 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,418 [boy] Oi, mister! 354 00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:44,501 Spare some silver? 355 00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,501 - Children, you'd like a little coin? Go on, then. - [children shouting] 356 00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:48,001 Oh, I thought you wanted it? 357 00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:49,334 Jump higher. [warbles] 358 00:16:49,334 --> 00:16:51,168 Oh, jump higher. Go on-- 359 00:16:51,168 --> 00:16:53,418 [shouts] You little shit! 360 00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:56,543 Stop that! Stop! 361 00:16:56,543 --> 00:16:58,459 How dare you hurt that child? 362 00:16:58,459 --> 00:17:01,751 - It accosted me. - You were teasing him. I saw it. 363 00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,126 Poor little thing. Are you hurt? 364 00:17:03,126 --> 00:17:04,668 He's had worse. 365 00:17:05,751 --> 00:17:06,918 Give him those coins. 366 00:17:07,043 --> 00:17:08,251 No. 367 00:17:08,251 --> 00:17:10,334 Do it. 368 00:17:12,293 --> 00:17:13,918 Certainly. My Lady. 369 00:17:15,543 --> 00:17:18,209 - Oopsie. - Really? 370 00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:20,959 I'm teaching him a lesson about the evils of begging. 371 00:17:20,959 --> 00:17:22,959 Pox on you, fuckface. 372 00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:26,876 Watch out. They have fleas. 373 00:17:30,251 --> 00:17:32,043 Who is that man? 374 00:17:32,043 --> 00:17:34,459 Lord Dudley's son. He's a prat. 375 00:17:37,459 --> 00:17:40,626 That's Guildford Dudley? 376 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,876 [Author] Jane knows that marrying such a prat 377 00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:46,876 is inconfuckingceivable. 378 00:17:46,876 --> 00:17:48,584 Jane needs a miracle. 379 00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:54,084 And the only people who can perform miracles are saints. 380 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,501 And kings. 381 00:17:59,793 --> 00:18:02,251 [rousing music playing] 382 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:07,584 King Edward took the throne at nine years old 383 00:18:07,584 --> 00:18:11,918 after his father, King Henry, finally kicked the royal bucket. 384 00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:17,251 Edward's life changed from spending carefree days with his beloved cousin Jane 385 00:18:17,251 --> 00:18:20,501 to being told by bossy-boots counselors 386 00:18:20,501 --> 00:18:23,043 - how to rule his own bloody Kingdom. - [coughs] 387 00:18:23,043 --> 00:18:25,001 [soldier shouts orders] 388 00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:30,334 Including, but not limited to, reading poorly written proclamations 389 00:18:30,334 --> 00:18:32,834 targeting Ethians. 390 00:18:36,584 --> 00:18:39,043 [Lord Seymour] Is there a problem, Your Majesty? 391 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,209 M-My men... 392 00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:54,793 ...I would that I could be by your side on this day 393 00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:56,376 and that you would call me "friend." 394 00:18:56,376 --> 00:18:58,251 He's gone completely off-script. 395 00:18:58,251 --> 00:19:00,793 - Indeed, Lord Seymour. - Get the chair. 396 00:19:00,793 --> 00:19:04,584 I'll never know the rush of combat 397 00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:08,168 or the joy of brotherhood-in-arms, 398 00:19:08,168 --> 00:19:13,959 but what I can give you is my unending respect and gratitude 399 00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:15,626 for your bravery and valor, 400 00:19:15,626 --> 00:19:22,084 so that we may assure our people they are safe in England forever. 401 00:19:22,084 --> 00:19:25,709 [soldiers] Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! 402 00:19:30,293 --> 00:19:31,584 [Seymour] Your Majesty. 403 00:19:34,918 --> 00:19:36,251 Shall we? 404 00:19:38,168 --> 00:19:41,751 [sighs] Just wait until everyone's gone. 405 00:19:42,793 --> 00:19:44,709 [Edward] Who are those new soldiers on the black horses? 406 00:19:44,709 --> 00:19:47,293 [Seymour] I told you, remember? Kingsland Guards. 407 00:19:47,293 --> 00:19:50,834 An elite force to protect you from the Ethian menace plaguing our land. 408 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,876 First point of order. [clears throat] 409 00:19:55,876 --> 00:20:00,626 Beasts were caught sneaking into Grimsby. 410 00:20:00,626 --> 00:20:01,834 It was the Pack. 411 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,959 - [crowd gasps] - Yes, yes. 412 00:20:03,959 --> 00:20:07,459 The so-called Ethian Resistance. 413 00:20:07,459 --> 00:20:09,709 - [coughing] - Beastly thugs 414 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,584 and in clear violation of Division Law. 415 00:20:12,584 --> 00:20:17,293 No Ethian is permitted in Verity cities, towns or properties 416 00:20:17,293 --> 00:20:19,543 under pain of death. 417 00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:21,751 - Sentenced to death? - Of course. It's the law. 418 00:20:21,751 --> 00:20:24,793 But you told me there is plenty of food for them in the wild. 419 00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:26,376 Why must they sneak into Grimsby? 420 00:20:26,376 --> 00:20:29,918 The mind boggles. I mean, have you ever been to Grimsby? 421 00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:33,126 Don't kill them. Just put them back in the woods or something. 422 00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:38,918 My cousin, Lady Jane Grey, is here. 423 00:20:38,918 --> 00:20:41,543 Dismissed, all of you. Out. 424 00:20:41,543 --> 00:20:43,459 [quiet chatter] 425 00:20:49,126 --> 00:20:50,126 Your Majesty. 426 00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:52,001 Stop it. [chuckles] 427 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,126 How are you feeling? 428 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,293 - How's the cold? - It's fine. 429 00:20:55,293 --> 00:20:57,418 Ghastly, but it's fine, you know. 430 00:20:57,418 --> 00:21:00,001 Say hello to my new doggy, Petunia. 431 00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:02,834 - Hello, Petunia. - She's a very devoted little thing. 432 00:21:02,834 --> 00:21:05,043 - Won't let me out of her sight. - Oh, she's beautiful. 433 00:21:05,043 --> 00:21:07,543 Tell me, Janey, how are your sisters? 434 00:21:07,543 --> 00:21:09,459 Is Margaret still pulling wings off butterflies? 435 00:21:10,543 --> 00:21:11,751 Shall we take some air? 436 00:21:13,209 --> 00:21:15,209 [wheelchair creaking] 437 00:21:17,084 --> 00:21:18,793 [barking] 438 00:21:18,793 --> 00:21:22,709 I have terrible news. My mother's forcing me to marry. 439 00:21:22,709 --> 00:21:24,001 Will you intervene? 440 00:21:25,043 --> 00:21:26,668 Jane, I've already approved it. 441 00:21:27,959 --> 00:21:29,501 Oh. 442 00:21:29,501 --> 00:21:30,918 Why? 443 00:21:30,918 --> 00:21:34,543 Why would you ever approve my marriage without my consent? 444 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,418 Be logical. It is your duty to protect your family. 445 00:21:37,418 --> 00:21:41,084 - I do not choose to marry. - You think I chose this life? 446 00:21:41,084 --> 00:21:43,626 We're all born to certain roles. 447 00:21:43,626 --> 00:21:45,418 Our destiny is set. 448 00:21:45,418 --> 00:21:47,084 Anyway, what else would you possibly do? 449 00:21:47,084 --> 00:21:49,168 I do not want to be a wife. 450 00:21:49,168 --> 00:21:51,959 - Just some man's property. - Well, I do not want to be a dying King, 451 00:21:51,959 --> 00:21:53,043 but here we are. 452 00:21:53,043 --> 00:21:54,626 - You're not dying. - [coughing] 453 00:21:56,501 --> 00:21:57,876 Are you? 454 00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,043 I have the Affliction. 455 00:22:04,418 --> 00:22:06,626 Do you think I'll be the first to recover? 456 00:22:09,251 --> 00:22:11,418 The Kingdom is in chaos. 457 00:22:12,459 --> 00:22:15,209 - I'm doing my best, but soon I'll be gone. - No. 458 00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,001 No, don't say that. 459 00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:20,043 This is the real world. 460 00:22:21,251 --> 00:22:24,376 Kings die. Noblewomen marry. 461 00:22:26,501 --> 00:22:32,168 {\an8}Now, as to the chap in question, he cannot be that bad. 462 00:22:33,543 --> 00:22:36,043 His pater is one of my counselors. 463 00:22:36,043 --> 00:22:39,334 You'll quickly improve him the way that you improved me. 464 00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:43,334 Did I need improving, though? That is the question. 465 00:22:43,334 --> 00:22:45,043 [Edward chuckles] 466 00:22:48,418 --> 00:22:52,876 I always thought marriage sounded rather fun. 467 00:22:52,876 --> 00:22:56,834 A partner, a friend. 468 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,376 Someone to make you laugh. 469 00:22:58,376 --> 00:23:01,418 Tell you that you're not alone. 470 00:23:01,418 --> 00:23:05,626 I always thought I'd only marry if I could choose the man myself. 471 00:23:05,626 --> 00:23:07,001 Janey. 472 00:23:08,376 --> 00:23:09,376 That's just silly. 473 00:23:13,876 --> 00:23:16,251 [Author] Princess Mary and Princess Elizabeth-- 474 00:23:16,251 --> 00:23:18,793 Bess, for short-- are the discarded offspring 475 00:23:18,793 --> 00:23:22,626 of two of King Henry's most unfortunate wives. 476 00:23:22,626 --> 00:23:26,376 Their brother, Edward, is youngest but the first to get the crown 477 00:23:26,376 --> 00:23:27,751 - because of... - Chop, chop, Bess. 478 00:23:27,751 --> 00:23:29,459 ...you know, his penis. 479 00:23:29,459 --> 00:23:31,168 [knocking] 480 00:23:32,751 --> 00:23:34,251 Your Royal Highnesses. 481 00:23:34,251 --> 00:23:35,501 Where's our brother? 482 00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:37,793 He's in the gardens. 483 00:23:37,793 --> 00:23:39,918 Perambulating with Lady Jane Grey. 484 00:23:41,001 --> 00:23:42,459 Lady Jane Grey? 485 00:23:44,043 --> 00:23:46,043 [upbeat music playing] 486 00:23:48,626 --> 00:23:49,918 [arrow thuds in target] 487 00:23:54,543 --> 00:23:56,001 Sisters. [coughing] 488 00:23:57,751 --> 00:23:59,209 Your Majesty! 489 00:24:00,584 --> 00:24:01,876 Eddiekins! 490 00:24:01,876 --> 00:24:03,626 Seymour, pie. 491 00:24:03,626 --> 00:24:07,209 - Oh, you look terrible. - I don't think I look that bad, actually. 492 00:24:07,209 --> 00:24:09,459 Hello, brother. Cousin Jane. 493 00:24:09,459 --> 00:24:11,043 Your Highnesses, it's a pleasure. 494 00:24:11,043 --> 00:24:12,126 Sweet Bess. 495 00:24:12,126 --> 00:24:14,668 - Jane and I, we were having some-- - [Mary] Blackberry pie. 496 00:24:14,668 --> 00:24:16,043 Your favorite. 497 00:24:17,751 --> 00:24:20,459 - Hmm? - Mary, thank you. 498 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,584 [coughing] 499 00:24:23,584 --> 00:24:25,001 How awful, brother. 500 00:24:25,001 --> 00:24:27,293 The Affliction is such a dreadful way to die. 501 00:24:27,293 --> 00:24:30,334 You cough and cough until you cough your lungs right out. 502 00:24:30,334 --> 00:24:31,793 - [hacking] - [Jane] Edward? 503 00:24:33,001 --> 00:24:35,043 - [Mary] Brother? - [Seymour] Your Majesty? 504 00:24:35,043 --> 00:24:36,543 Edward? 505 00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:37,793 [choking] Janey. 506 00:24:37,793 --> 00:24:39,751 He can't breathe. It's the Affliction. 507 00:24:39,751 --> 00:24:41,293 Guards, fetch Dr. Butts! 508 00:24:41,293 --> 00:24:44,626 We need pulmonaria. Uh, lungwort. 509 00:24:44,626 --> 00:24:47,251 The lilac flower planted over there. Please! 510 00:24:48,209 --> 00:24:49,918 Look at me. Hurry! 511 00:24:49,918 --> 00:24:51,084 [dramatic music playing] 512 00:24:51,084 --> 00:24:52,834 [choking continues] 513 00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:03,001 Breathe. 514 00:25:05,334 --> 00:25:06,376 [gasps] 515 00:25:06,376 --> 00:25:08,001 [panting] 516 00:25:10,001 --> 00:25:12,126 - Jane saved the King's life. - Jane saved the King's life. 517 00:25:12,126 --> 00:25:13,626 Jane saved the King's life. 518 00:25:13,626 --> 00:25:15,751 - I'm here! - [Seymour] Ah, Dr. Butts. 519 00:25:15,751 --> 00:25:16,876 I am here. 520 00:25:16,876 --> 00:25:20,126 I am-- [panting] 521 00:25:21,334 --> 00:25:24,793 Another attack. Oh, dear me. I forgot my forceps. 522 00:25:26,876 --> 00:25:29,501 You may wish to avert your eyes. 523 00:25:29,501 --> 00:25:31,084 I'm going in. 524 00:25:36,043 --> 00:25:38,001 [Seymour] That was exciting, wasn't it? 525 00:25:38,001 --> 00:25:39,293 [Jane] Exciting? 526 00:25:39,293 --> 00:25:40,876 {\an8}I can't leave Edward like this. 527 00:25:40,876 --> 00:25:44,418 {\an8}Will you check if your medic has elfdock? It's a herb. 528 00:25:44,418 --> 00:25:47,251 {\an8}His Majesty enjoys the finest medical care in the Kingdom. 529 00:25:47,251 --> 00:25:48,376 {\an8}Ta-ta. 530 00:25:49,793 --> 00:25:51,543 [horses neigh] 531 00:25:52,834 --> 00:25:54,834 [lively music playing] 532 00:26:01,376 --> 00:26:03,334 {\an8}- [Butts] Might I venture a... - [slurps] 533 00:26:03,334 --> 00:26:05,876 ...suggestion, Your Highness? 534 00:26:05,876 --> 00:26:08,084 Boiled kitten tea with urine. 535 00:26:09,918 --> 00:26:12,626 An old man's urine, ideally. 536 00:26:12,626 --> 00:26:14,876 [Charles] Oh, lovely. Lovely. 537 00:26:14,876 --> 00:26:17,084 No kitten tea. Thank you. 538 00:26:19,584 --> 00:26:21,543 Your Majesty, I only just heard. 539 00:26:21,543 --> 00:26:23,043 Oh, finally he turns up. 540 00:26:23,043 --> 00:26:25,543 - Where is Jane? - Why, I sent her home. 541 00:26:25,543 --> 00:26:27,584 [coughing] 542 00:26:27,584 --> 00:26:31,126 I think the time has come to appoint your successor. 543 00:26:31,126 --> 00:26:33,126 I know. 544 00:26:33,126 --> 00:26:34,584 I'm not afraid of death. 545 00:26:34,584 --> 00:26:36,918 [coughs] Well, that's not true. I'm petrified. 546 00:26:36,918 --> 00:26:38,709 You have the strength of a thousand lions. 547 00:26:38,709 --> 00:26:42,918 Your Majesty, it is incumbent upon me as Lord Protector to confirm 548 00:26:42,918 --> 00:26:46,543 that your eldest sister, Mary, is indeed the rightful heir to the throne 549 00:26:46,543 --> 00:26:49,043 and the only choice to keep our Kingdom safe 550 00:26:49,043 --> 00:26:52,793 from the rampaging hordes of satanic beasts. 551 00:26:52,793 --> 00:26:54,626 Must you be so dramatic? 552 00:26:56,209 --> 00:26:58,376 The entire Kingdom agrees. 553 00:26:58,376 --> 00:27:00,584 I do not agree. 554 00:27:00,584 --> 00:27:03,543 Let's just take a beat for a moment and think about this. 555 00:27:03,543 --> 00:27:07,459 Now, Princess Mary's mother, Catherine, 556 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:11,084 was originally married to your father's brother, Arthur, 557 00:27:11,084 --> 00:27:13,043 the heir apparent. 558 00:27:13,043 --> 00:27:14,376 Remember that old chestnut? 559 00:27:14,376 --> 00:27:20,459 Now, when Artie died, of course, she claimed non-consummation, 560 00:27:20,459 --> 00:27:23,084 so that she could declare virgo intacta, 561 00:27:23,084 --> 00:27:25,584 get an annulment and marry the new King. 562 00:27:25,584 --> 00:27:27,959 But, I mean, come on, who are we kidding? 563 00:27:27,959 --> 00:27:30,626 Spaniards? Th-th-th-th-th... 564 00:27:30,626 --> 00:27:31,834 - [chuckles] - Mm. 565 00:27:31,834 --> 00:27:34,834 And anyway, Henry went on to divorce Catherine. 566 00:27:34,834 --> 00:27:38,543 So, is Mary's claim even legally valid? 567 00:27:38,543 --> 00:27:41,751 Do you see? [whispering] Technically, she's a bastard. 568 00:27:41,751 --> 00:27:44,126 Now, what about Princess Bess? 569 00:27:44,126 --> 00:27:46,959 Her mother was an Ethian. The people would never accept it. 570 00:27:46,959 --> 00:27:48,668 [Dudley] You're absolutely right... 571 00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:50,626 Seymour. 572 00:27:50,626 --> 00:27:53,209 Now, what if there was somebody else? 573 00:27:53,209 --> 00:27:56,459 Someone with direct royal lineage, 574 00:27:56,459 --> 00:28:00,168 perhaps engaged to a highborn Verity. 575 00:28:00,168 --> 00:28:03,084 Someone who could, oh, I don't know, golly, 576 00:28:03,084 --> 00:28:07,959 wear the crown until such time as they could produce a son. 577 00:28:07,959 --> 00:28:09,084 Lady Jane. 578 00:28:09,084 --> 00:28:11,501 Lady Jane Grey? Your cousin? 579 00:28:11,501 --> 00:28:13,418 [gasps] What a marvelous idea. 580 00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:16,001 Queen Jane? It's a terrible idea. 581 00:28:16,001 --> 00:28:18,876 Well, it's His Royal Highness's idea. Are you saying it's terrible? 582 00:28:18,876 --> 00:28:21,251 - [clears throat] - [Edward] She's a girl. 583 00:28:21,251 --> 00:28:22,751 Girls can't rule. 584 00:28:22,751 --> 00:28:26,418 Jane can rule, with our help, until such time as her son can be King. 585 00:28:26,418 --> 00:28:27,793 What a happy coincidence. 586 00:28:27,793 --> 00:28:31,168 - [chuckling] - Jane's husband-to-be is your son. 587 00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:33,709 The future King would be his grandson. 588 00:28:33,709 --> 00:28:35,543 Oh, my, I hadn't thought of that. 589 00:28:35,543 --> 00:28:37,501 Queen Jane. That's absurd. 590 00:28:37,501 --> 00:28:39,876 - Has a ring to it, doesn't it? - [Edward] Stop squabbling. 591 00:28:39,876 --> 00:28:41,709 I have made my choice. 592 00:28:41,709 --> 00:28:44,084 [coughing] 593 00:28:45,084 --> 00:28:47,043 Take my will to the Chancery for safekeeping. 594 00:28:47,043 --> 00:28:51,001 You may only open this in the event of my death, and not before. 595 00:28:51,001 --> 00:28:53,209 [coughing] 596 00:28:53,209 --> 00:28:55,876 [whimsical music playing] 597 00:28:59,293 --> 00:29:02,334 I say, do you think this will take you very much longer? 598 00:29:02,334 --> 00:29:03,626 [groans] 599 00:29:03,626 --> 00:29:07,251 I shall take a horse. I don't live very far. 600 00:29:07,251 --> 00:29:08,876 Lord Seymour wouldn't approve, My Lady. 601 00:29:08,876 --> 00:29:13,168 Well, he certainly wouldn't approve of my catching my death in the cold, 602 00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:15,168 and neither would my cousin... 603 00:29:15,168 --> 00:29:16,918 the King? 604 00:29:18,001 --> 00:29:19,084 [sighs] 605 00:29:19,084 --> 00:29:23,001 Dudley, you swinish snake. 606 00:29:23,001 --> 00:29:25,001 A swine and a snake? 607 00:29:25,001 --> 00:29:26,209 This matter of succession. 608 00:29:26,209 --> 00:29:29,043 I bow to King Edward's wishes, whatever they may be. 609 00:29:29,043 --> 00:29:31,584 May the devil take you, Dudley. 610 00:29:31,584 --> 00:29:35,043 You know, you really must calm down. This level of anger-- it's simply toxic. 611 00:29:35,043 --> 00:29:37,876 - I can't! - Breathe, my dear man. 612 00:29:37,876 --> 00:29:41,834 Let us hope he favors the rightful inheritor in Princess Mary. 613 00:29:41,834 --> 00:29:43,293 If he names Lady Jane, 614 00:29:43,293 --> 00:29:46,251 I cannot be responsible for what happens next. 615 00:29:46,251 --> 00:29:49,834 Of course you would not be responsible for what happens next. 616 00:29:49,834 --> 00:29:52,459 You'd be superfluous. 617 00:29:52,459 --> 00:29:55,709 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wedding to plan. 618 00:29:55,709 --> 00:29:57,626 [intriguing music playing] 619 00:30:01,334 --> 00:30:02,418 Lord Seymour. 620 00:30:02,418 --> 00:30:03,668 Give me that. 621 00:30:10,251 --> 00:30:12,209 Seymour, I've already made my choice. 622 00:30:12,209 --> 00:30:14,168 I need to rest. 623 00:30:14,168 --> 00:30:18,543 Your Majesty, you must eat. Princess Mary's blackberry pie. 624 00:30:18,543 --> 00:30:20,834 She's a dote, isn't she? Always looking after your health. 625 00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:22,584 - [barks] - [Edward] Petunia! 626 00:30:22,584 --> 00:30:23,834 - [clattering] - Guards! 627 00:30:24,876 --> 00:30:26,834 Take this mutt to the kennel and kill it. 628 00:30:26,834 --> 00:30:29,459 - No! - You are weak in mind and body. 629 00:30:29,459 --> 00:30:30,751 This thing needs to be destroyed, 630 00:30:30,751 --> 00:30:32,293 and I shall take great pleasure in doing it myself. 631 00:30:32,293 --> 00:30:36,459 - [barking, growling] - Do not touch my dog. 632 00:30:37,918 --> 00:30:40,126 Dismissed. 633 00:30:40,126 --> 00:30:41,418 [barks] 634 00:30:43,876 --> 00:30:45,459 [owl hooting] 635 00:30:45,459 --> 00:30:48,876 [Author] For the first time in Jane's entire life, 636 00:30:48,876 --> 00:30:51,501 no one knows where she is. 637 00:30:51,501 --> 00:30:53,793 She is alone and free. 638 00:30:53,793 --> 00:30:59,293 She can finally escape, ride north, discover... no, create her destiny. 639 00:30:59,293 --> 00:31:00,959 [men shouting in distance] 640 00:31:00,959 --> 00:31:04,376 Wait a minute. What's that? 641 00:31:05,459 --> 00:31:10,834 Guards, a search party, clearly sent by King Edward and/or her dratted mother 642 00:31:10,834 --> 00:31:12,251 to find her. 643 00:31:12,251 --> 00:31:15,126 But as they say in the classics, 644 00:31:15,126 --> 00:31:17,876 not today, Satan. 645 00:31:19,251 --> 00:31:22,918 Jane needs somewhere to hide, like an empty woodsman's hut 646 00:31:22,918 --> 00:31:24,543 or a nice hay bale. 647 00:31:24,543 --> 00:31:27,918 Somewhere no one would ever think to look. 648 00:31:31,376 --> 00:31:32,918 - [horse neighs] - [glass shatters] 649 00:31:32,918 --> 00:31:34,501 [♪ The Donnas: "I Didn't Like You Anyway"] 650 00:31:34,501 --> 00:31:36,584 [loud chatter] 651 00:31:43,709 --> 00:31:47,793 ♪ You told me that it just couldn't be ♪ 652 00:31:47,793 --> 00:31:51,001 ♪ You don't wanna go out with me ♪ 653 00:31:51,001 --> 00:31:53,543 ♪ No, I'm not sad, I don't even care... ♪ 654 00:31:53,543 --> 00:31:55,376 - [grunts] - Yeah! I win! 655 00:31:55,376 --> 00:31:57,626 - Cheated, you gobshite. - Did not, you dumb fuck! 656 00:31:57,626 --> 00:32:00,084 - [groans] - Piss off! 657 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:02,584 I say, whoa, whoa, whoa! Do you mind if I interrupt? 658 00:32:04,501 --> 00:32:06,751 Arm wrestling is an ancient art. 659 00:32:09,126 --> 00:32:10,543 The winner must be humble. 660 00:32:10,543 --> 00:32:12,126 And the loser gracious. 661 00:32:12,126 --> 00:32:14,959 - Go shag a beast, ya posh wanker. - Yeah, fuck off. 662 00:32:14,959 --> 00:32:16,251 Very well. 663 00:32:16,251 --> 00:32:17,793 Off I shall fuck. 664 00:32:20,293 --> 00:32:23,209 - And now we're gonna gut ya. - [young man] Gut me with what? 665 00:32:26,293 --> 00:32:27,543 Are you looking for these? 666 00:32:27,543 --> 00:32:28,876 [intriguing music playing] 667 00:32:30,293 --> 00:32:31,459 [laughter] 668 00:32:34,668 --> 00:32:36,209 [crowd cheers] 669 00:32:37,459 --> 00:32:39,709 [crowd cheers] 670 00:32:39,709 --> 00:32:44,334 And now I have your attention, shall I torture you with a poem? 671 00:32:44,334 --> 00:32:46,126 [crowd] Yes! 672 00:32:46,126 --> 00:32:47,293 [together] No. 673 00:32:47,293 --> 00:32:48,376 Too late. 674 00:32:49,876 --> 00:32:52,376 [speaking Latin] I have decided to die in a tavern. 675 00:32:52,834 --> 00:32:55,918 Where the wine will be close to my dying... 676 00:32:56,293 --> 00:32:57,793 [crowd, speaking Latin] ...mouth! 677 00:32:57,793 --> 00:32:59,501 [young man] Thank you! 678 00:32:59,501 --> 00:33:02,584 - And drink! Please, come on. - [crowd cheering] 679 00:33:05,709 --> 00:33:07,709 [sultry rock music playing] 680 00:33:18,334 --> 00:33:20,709 [Author] Let us take a moment to reassure our viewers 681 00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:25,001 that there is no such thing as love at first sight. 682 00:33:25,001 --> 00:33:27,751 But lust at first sight? 683 00:33:29,293 --> 00:33:32,793 Oh, yes. Totally a thing. 684 00:33:32,793 --> 00:33:36,418 So, do you... come here often? 685 00:33:36,418 --> 00:33:41,084 [Author] Jane is the first person in history to ever use that line, 686 00:33:41,084 --> 00:33:44,543 and two seconds later, the first to regret it. 687 00:33:44,543 --> 00:33:46,084 [burps] 688 00:33:46,084 --> 00:33:47,168 Wow. 689 00:33:47,168 --> 00:33:48,543 Oops. 690 00:33:48,543 --> 00:33:49,834 That's your response? 691 00:33:49,834 --> 00:33:53,084 So you can recite the Archpoet standing on a table in a dirt-floor tavern, 692 00:33:53,084 --> 00:33:55,501 - but you can't muster a simple apology? - I said, "Oops." 693 00:33:55,501 --> 00:33:58,209 You mispronounced "vina," by the way. 694 00:33:58,209 --> 00:33:59,918 "Vee-na." 695 00:33:59,918 --> 00:34:02,293 Where'd you learn your Latin? In a ditch? 696 00:34:02,293 --> 00:34:04,543 - Who would teach Latin in a ditch? - Oh, you're missing the point. 697 00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:06,334 - The point being? - Your mediocre Latin 698 00:34:06,334 --> 00:34:09,543 - and disappointing table manners. - Are we at a table? No. 699 00:34:09,543 --> 00:34:11,459 Again, missing the point. 700 00:34:11,459 --> 00:34:13,709 Has anybody ever told you that you're an insufferable pedant? 701 00:34:13,709 --> 00:34:15,876 Oh, where I come from, pedantry is a virtue. 702 00:34:15,876 --> 00:34:17,876 Where I come from, amiability trumps semantics. 703 00:34:17,876 --> 00:34:19,626 Amiability is for the meek. 704 00:34:19,626 --> 00:34:21,709 Amiability is for the amiable. 705 00:34:21,709 --> 00:34:23,626 You are the rudest man I have ever met. 706 00:34:23,626 --> 00:34:26,084 Well, the night is young. Mingle. 707 00:34:26,084 --> 00:34:27,668 Oh, I intend to. 708 00:34:28,834 --> 00:34:29,876 Good night. 709 00:34:29,876 --> 00:34:31,459 Wait. 710 00:34:31,459 --> 00:34:33,793 [lighthearted music playing] 711 00:34:33,793 --> 00:34:36,918 - Who are you? - Who are you? 712 00:34:36,918 --> 00:34:38,668 [Archer] Excuse me. 713 00:34:38,668 --> 00:34:42,084 No. No. You lot can't be here. 714 00:34:42,084 --> 00:34:44,834 - We just came for a drink, mate. - I don't want any trouble. 715 00:34:44,834 --> 00:34:47,543 He's asking you nicely. 716 00:34:47,543 --> 00:34:50,168 No trouble. You have my word. 717 00:34:50,168 --> 00:34:51,459 And I said no. 718 00:34:51,459 --> 00:34:52,834 Leave. 719 00:34:52,834 --> 00:34:54,918 [whispers] Why is he kicking them out? 720 00:34:54,918 --> 00:34:56,126 [door slams open] 721 00:34:56,126 --> 00:34:58,543 - Good evening! - [crowd gasping, murmuring] 722 00:34:58,543 --> 00:35:00,293 [whispers] Come with me. 723 00:35:00,293 --> 00:35:01,709 - As if. - What? 724 00:35:02,918 --> 00:35:03,918 Oh, shit. 725 00:35:03,918 --> 00:35:07,293 [guard] I said, good evening, my good people. 726 00:35:07,293 --> 00:35:13,293 We have it on excellent authority that a certain beast might be in here. 727 00:35:13,293 --> 00:35:14,959 Goes by the name of Archer. 728 00:35:17,043 --> 00:35:22,043 He's wanted for robbery, arson, sedition. 729 00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:23,459 [quietly] Sedition. That's a new one. 730 00:35:23,459 --> 00:35:25,376 [quietly] Well, I do try. 731 00:35:25,376 --> 00:35:27,043 [sniffs, spits] 732 00:35:28,001 --> 00:35:31,751 - [goblet bangs on table] - Hunting scum makes me ever so thirsty. 733 00:35:33,501 --> 00:35:35,709 - [groans] - [crowd gasping] 734 00:35:38,626 --> 00:35:40,543 Hand him over, 735 00:35:40,543 --> 00:35:45,084 or we dunk every last one of you. 736 00:35:48,418 --> 00:35:50,584 [quietly] What do you think? You up for it? 737 00:35:50,584 --> 00:35:52,501 [quietly] Yeah, fuck it. 738 00:35:52,501 --> 00:35:56,084 Why don't you leave him alone, you bunch of thugs? 739 00:35:57,459 --> 00:35:59,543 - I'm Archer. - [crowd gasps] 740 00:36:00,543 --> 00:36:02,543 Then you're coming with me. 741 00:36:02,543 --> 00:36:04,043 [suspenseful music playing] 742 00:36:04,043 --> 00:36:06,376 - [roaring] - [crowd screaming] 743 00:36:06,376 --> 00:36:07,501 Right, let's go. 744 00:36:08,543 --> 00:36:11,376 [roaring] 745 00:36:11,376 --> 00:36:12,543 [young man] Move! 746 00:36:17,209 --> 00:36:19,501 This door leads outside. 747 00:36:19,501 --> 00:36:21,043 - [guard] Kill that fucking bear! - [people screaming] 748 00:36:21,043 --> 00:36:22,168 [growls] 749 00:36:28,043 --> 00:36:29,459 [groans] 750 00:36:30,459 --> 00:36:32,709 [barking] 751 00:36:33,751 --> 00:36:36,084 [roaring] 752 00:36:37,293 --> 00:36:40,293 This is madness. I never knew things were like this. 753 00:36:40,293 --> 00:36:42,334 You've never seen a bear in a bar before? 754 00:36:43,334 --> 00:36:44,376 Take them all! 755 00:36:44,376 --> 00:36:45,501 [groans] 756 00:36:47,626 --> 00:36:48,793 [grunts] 757 00:36:51,418 --> 00:36:52,959 [screams] 758 00:36:56,501 --> 00:36:57,751 [groans] 759 00:36:57,751 --> 00:36:59,209 [hawk screeches] 760 00:37:00,251 --> 00:37:01,834 Hey. 761 00:37:01,834 --> 00:37:04,543 Hey, more guards are coming! 762 00:37:04,543 --> 00:37:05,709 Archer, Archer, they're here! 763 00:37:05,709 --> 00:37:07,543 Let's get out of here now! 764 00:37:07,543 --> 00:37:09,209 [Jane] Susannah! 765 00:37:09,209 --> 00:37:11,334 - Susannah? - [Archer] Susannah, come on! 766 00:37:14,751 --> 00:37:18,001 [whispering] Last chance. Come with me. 767 00:37:21,251 --> 00:37:23,001 No. 768 00:37:26,543 --> 00:37:29,293 - What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? 769 00:37:29,293 --> 00:37:30,543 Susannah, come on! Let's go! 770 00:37:30,543 --> 00:37:32,668 - I'm so sorry. - So am I. 771 00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:34,959 What have we here? 772 00:37:34,959 --> 00:37:36,418 - Beast or maiden? - [together] Maiden. 773 00:37:36,418 --> 00:37:37,834 A Verity maiden in britches? 774 00:37:37,834 --> 00:37:39,751 - I don't think so. - Susannah, go! 775 00:37:39,751 --> 00:37:42,001 [hawk chirps, screeches] 776 00:37:42,001 --> 00:37:44,043 Aiding and abetting Satan's spawn. 777 00:37:44,043 --> 00:37:45,376 That'll be exile for you. 778 00:37:45,376 --> 00:37:47,626 - Exile sounds fine, actually. - Mm. 779 00:37:47,626 --> 00:37:49,293 How about a nice dunking instead? 780 00:37:49,293 --> 00:37:51,251 Take her away! 781 00:37:56,501 --> 00:37:57,501 [Edward] Eels. 782 00:38:00,001 --> 00:38:01,043 Yummy. 783 00:38:01,043 --> 00:38:03,543 [door creaks closed] 784 00:38:03,543 --> 00:38:05,334 - Shall we have a nibble? - [barking] 785 00:38:08,918 --> 00:38:09,918 Your Majesty. 786 00:38:09,918 --> 00:38:11,126 [stammers] Ethian. 787 00:38:11,126 --> 00:38:14,043 Calm down and listen to me. Your great-grandmother sent me here. 788 00:38:14,043 --> 00:38:15,668 Oh, you liar, my great-grandmother is dead. 789 00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:17,668 - [coughing] Guards! - Is she? 790 00:38:17,668 --> 00:38:19,584 {\an8}Then who gave me this? 791 00:38:22,251 --> 00:38:24,168 The Bietso Cross. 792 00:38:24,168 --> 00:38:25,668 She was buried with it. 793 00:38:25,668 --> 00:38:28,418 No, she wasn't. She's alive. 794 00:38:28,418 --> 00:38:32,168 And she sent me here because she suspected that you do not have the Affliction. 795 00:38:32,168 --> 00:38:34,043 And she was right. 796 00:38:34,043 --> 00:38:36,751 You are being poisoned. 797 00:38:36,751 --> 00:38:38,251 I can smell it in your food. 798 00:38:38,251 --> 00:38:40,001 I know, it's a lot to process. 799 00:38:41,293 --> 00:38:43,084 No, no, that actually explains a lot. 800 00:38:43,084 --> 00:38:46,376 - We must go to her. Now. - But who is poisoning me? 801 00:38:46,376 --> 00:38:49,293 I don't know. But we need to get you out of here. 802 00:38:49,293 --> 00:38:50,668 I... 803 00:38:52,001 --> 00:38:54,376 Sorry, do you have something that I can wear? 804 00:38:54,376 --> 00:38:57,334 We're not normally so starkers when we change, 805 00:38:57,334 --> 00:38:59,168 but I was, because-- Oh. 806 00:38:59,168 --> 00:39:01,709 Do you know what? It's a long story. I-I'll tell you about it some other time. 807 00:39:01,709 --> 00:39:03,918 - There's a robe just there. - Cheers. 808 00:39:03,918 --> 00:39:08,043 [Author] At this moment, Edward has two major revelations. 809 00:39:08,043 --> 00:39:10,543 One, the dog girl is telling the truth. 810 00:39:10,543 --> 00:39:15,793 And two, he is not interested in women romantically. 811 00:39:15,793 --> 00:39:19,626 He always imagined girls look like men without their clothes. 812 00:39:19,626 --> 00:39:24,293 Edward has led, let us remember, a deeply sheltered life. 813 00:39:24,293 --> 00:39:29,293 Now, you get dressed, and we will be off like a tart's knickers. 814 00:39:29,293 --> 00:39:32,001 - I'm not going anywhere with you. - What? Why not? 815 00:39:32,001 --> 00:39:34,751 Well, until about five minutes ago, you were a dog. 816 00:39:34,751 --> 00:39:37,626 And I'm the King, and someone is trying to kill me. 817 00:39:37,626 --> 00:39:39,668 I must find them and punish them, obviously. 818 00:39:39,668 --> 00:39:41,168 - But-- - I have spoken. 819 00:39:41,168 --> 00:39:43,001 Granny will be most vexed. 820 00:39:43,001 --> 00:39:44,918 [knocking on door] 821 00:39:44,918 --> 00:39:46,709 [Edward] Come in. 822 00:39:51,793 --> 00:39:53,793 Not hungry, Your Majesty? 823 00:39:54,793 --> 00:39:57,209 No. Take it away. 824 00:40:08,376 --> 00:40:10,126 [doors close] 825 00:40:10,126 --> 00:40:13,751 Dearest Petunia, I think you might have saved my life. 826 00:40:13,751 --> 00:40:15,168 [barks] 827 00:40:15,168 --> 00:40:16,626 [door opens] 828 00:40:16,626 --> 00:40:17,918 Good evening, Your Majesty. 829 00:40:17,918 --> 00:40:20,001 [dramatic music playing] 830 00:40:24,543 --> 00:40:26,334 [moaning] 831 00:40:28,918 --> 00:40:30,459 How's my baby brother? 832 00:40:31,793 --> 00:40:34,293 Weaker than a Sicilian's virtue. 833 00:40:35,501 --> 00:40:37,668 - And his Will for Succession is-- - Done. 834 00:40:37,668 --> 00:40:39,001 [cries in joy] 835 00:40:39,001 --> 00:40:40,543 [shushes] 836 00:40:40,543 --> 00:40:42,709 However-- [grunts] 837 00:40:43,751 --> 00:40:45,626 However? 838 00:40:48,584 --> 00:40:49,959 Did something happen? 839 00:40:49,959 --> 00:40:51,876 - No. - Tell me what happened. 840 00:40:51,876 --> 00:40:52,959 Nothing happened. 841 00:40:54,459 --> 00:40:56,959 You are the natural choice, pudding pie. 842 00:40:56,959 --> 00:41:01,626 The entire Kingdom wants you and you alone to succeed him. 843 00:41:02,793 --> 00:41:04,418 I will be Queen. 844 00:41:06,001 --> 00:41:10,084 And I will cleanse England of Satan's beasts. 845 00:41:10,084 --> 00:41:11,834 Hmm. 846 00:41:11,834 --> 00:41:16,293 And I will not have any nasty surprises. 847 00:41:18,168 --> 00:41:20,376 - [girl screams] - [man cries out] 848 00:41:20,376 --> 00:41:22,543 [Author] Ah, yes. A dunking. 849 00:41:22,543 --> 00:41:26,376 Torture to force a suspected Ethian to change. 850 00:41:27,501 --> 00:41:28,876 Or die. 851 00:41:28,876 --> 00:41:31,543 [water burbling] 852 00:41:31,543 --> 00:41:34,626 [crowd murmuring, shouting] 853 00:41:37,584 --> 00:41:39,418 [guard] Right! Who's next? 854 00:41:39,418 --> 00:41:40,918 - [water splashes] - What about her? 855 00:41:40,918 --> 00:41:42,459 What? 856 00:41:42,459 --> 00:41:44,668 She helped one escape. Might be a beast. 857 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,043 No, I'm not Ethian. 858 00:41:46,043 --> 00:41:47,834 I'm-- No, I'm not-- Don't you-- 859 00:41:47,834 --> 00:41:49,668 [screams] No! No! 860 00:41:49,668 --> 00:41:51,084 No! Please, please. 861 00:41:51,084 --> 00:41:52,376 I won't change! I'll drown! 862 00:41:52,376 --> 00:41:53,834 [grunts] You're hurting me! 863 00:41:53,834 --> 00:41:55,293 That's the point, love. 864 00:41:55,293 --> 00:41:56,959 - [Frances] Stop! - [horse neighs] 865 00:41:59,084 --> 00:42:01,459 That is Lady Jane Grey, 866 00:42:01,459 --> 00:42:04,084 cousin to His Majesty King Edward, 867 00:42:04,084 --> 00:42:08,209 and I am ordering you to cease drowning her immediately. 868 00:42:08,209 --> 00:42:09,584 [grunts] 869 00:42:14,584 --> 00:42:16,584 [horse neighs] 870 00:42:27,418 --> 00:42:29,709 I shall have those men flogged to death. 871 00:42:31,001 --> 00:42:35,626 [Author] It's as close as Frances will ever get to saying "I love you." 872 00:42:36,793 --> 00:42:37,876 Mother, about the wedding. 873 00:42:40,793 --> 00:42:41,918 Please? 874 00:42:44,168 --> 00:42:46,376 Please don't make me marry him. 875 00:42:47,918 --> 00:42:49,918 I'll only say this once. 876 00:42:51,334 --> 00:42:56,251 If you don't marry Guildford Dudley tomorrow, 877 00:42:56,251 --> 00:42:58,959 I shall be forced to marry your sister Katherine 878 00:42:58,959 --> 00:43:00,501 to the Duke of Leicester, 879 00:43:00,501 --> 00:43:02,709 toe and all. 880 00:43:02,709 --> 00:43:03,834 You wouldn't. 881 00:43:03,834 --> 00:43:05,543 Try me. 882 00:43:13,043 --> 00:43:15,043 [gentle music playing] 883 00:43:18,834 --> 00:43:23,334 [Author] If only Jane could think of another way out of her unwanted wedding. 884 00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:27,084 But her thoughts keep drifting back to the tavern 885 00:43:27,084 --> 00:43:31,168 and that intriguing yet infuriating young man. 886 00:43:31,168 --> 00:43:34,959 Not spending more time with intriguing yet infuriating young men in taverns 887 00:43:34,959 --> 00:43:38,084 was one of the chief injustices of Jane's life. 888 00:43:38,084 --> 00:43:41,334 Her existence would be all injustice now. 889 00:43:41,334 --> 00:43:44,293 Marriage, motherhood, death. 890 00:43:44,293 --> 00:43:48,459 In quick succession, if statistics are anything to go by. 891 00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:51,334 Die, kitty, die! Beg for your life! Ha! 892 00:43:51,334 --> 00:43:52,459 Margaret, get out. 893 00:43:52,459 --> 00:43:55,876 You know the servants hate it when you get your fake blood on everything. 894 00:44:03,501 --> 00:44:07,209 Wait, come back. Margaret, come back. 895 00:44:07,209 --> 00:44:10,293 [♪ Alice Merton: "Vertigo"] 896 00:44:12,793 --> 00:44:15,751 ♪ Hands are sweaty, my heart beats heavy ♪ 897 00:44:15,751 --> 00:44:19,459 ♪ There's something out there, I swear, I'm not ready ♪ 898 00:44:19,459 --> 00:44:23,751 ♪ And I don't really know where to go from here ♪ 899 00:44:26,459 --> 00:44:30,084 ♪ The sound's getting louder, the floor starts shaking ♪ 900 00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:32,168 ♪ Everybody's feeling it ♪ 901 00:44:32,168 --> 00:44:34,626 ♪ Why can't I feel it, no? ♪ 902 00:44:36,418 --> 00:44:37,793 Leave them wanting less. 903 00:44:37,793 --> 00:44:39,876 - ♪ Oh ♪ - [vocalizing] 904 00:44:43,376 --> 00:44:44,793 {\an8}As you requested. 905 00:44:44,793 --> 00:44:46,793 {\an8}♪ All I can feel is ♪ 906 00:44:46,793 --> 00:44:48,876 [vocalizing] 907 00:44:53,918 --> 00:44:57,459 ♪ All I can feel is, feel is ♪ 908 00:44:57,459 --> 00:45:01,084 ♪ All I can feel is vertigo ♪ 909 00:45:01,084 --> 00:45:02,793 What? 910 00:45:02,793 --> 00:45:04,876 You'll do, I suppose. 911 00:45:05,959 --> 00:45:07,668 ♪ Feet still hurting ♪ 912 00:45:07,668 --> 00:45:10,918 ♪ I think I lost sight of where I was going ♪ 913 00:45:10,918 --> 00:45:16,084 ♪ And I don't really know where to go from here ♪ 914 00:45:16,084 --> 00:45:22,043 ♪ 'Cause all I can feel is vertigo ♪ 915 00:45:22,043 --> 00:45:24,584 ♪ Gotta get outta my head, do something that I'll regret ♪ 916 00:45:24,584 --> 00:45:26,834 ♪ He's dancing now with someone he met ♪ 917 00:45:26,834 --> 00:45:29,043 ♪ Losing my sanity, get rid of my vanity ♪ 918 00:45:29,043 --> 00:45:32,293 ♪ All I can feel is, feel is ♪ 919 00:45:32,293 --> 00:45:36,626 ♪ All I can feel is vertigo ♪ 920 00:45:36,626 --> 00:45:40,001 ♪ Caught inside of ♪ 921 00:45:40,001 --> 00:45:44,043 ♪ A dark night out ♪ 922 00:45:44,043 --> 00:45:46,918 ♪ Left me standing ♪ 923 00:45:46,918 --> 00:45:51,334 - [song distorts and stops] - ♪ By myself ♪ 924 00:45:53,376 --> 00:45:55,334 [Author] Oh, yes. 925 00:45:55,334 --> 00:45:58,459 Frequenter of taverns, seeker of trouble, 926 00:45:58,459 --> 00:46:01,334 son of Lord Dudley and lust object 927 00:46:01,334 --> 00:46:03,959 of one Lady Jane Grey. 928 00:46:03,959 --> 00:46:07,084 May I present Jane's husband-to-be, 929 00:46:07,084 --> 00:46:11,709 Lord Guildford Dudley. 930 00:46:11,709 --> 00:46:15,126 [Bishop] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 931 00:46:15,126 --> 00:46:16,626 to witness the joining 932 00:46:16,626 --> 00:46:21,918 of Lady Jane Grey and Lord Guildford Dudley 933 00:46:21,918 --> 00:46:26,001 in the sacred blessing of holy matrimony. 934 00:46:26,001 --> 00:46:27,876 Lord Guildford Dudley. 935 00:46:29,168 --> 00:46:30,168 What? 936 00:46:31,459 --> 00:46:33,293 Oh, um... 937 00:46:37,376 --> 00:46:39,543 I, Guildford, 938 00:46:39,543 --> 00:46:41,876 take thee, 939 00:46:41,876 --> 00:46:44,334 Jane, 940 00:46:44,334 --> 00:46:45,959 to be my... 941 00:46:48,418 --> 00:46:50,209 my... 942 00:46:55,334 --> 00:46:56,918 ...my wedded wife. 943 00:46:58,209 --> 00:47:00,334 To have and to hold 944 00:47:00,334 --> 00:47:02,418 from this day forward. 945 00:47:03,959 --> 00:47:05,918 I plight thee my troth. 946 00:47:05,918 --> 00:47:08,501 [Bishop] And Lady Jane Grey. 947 00:47:08,501 --> 00:47:10,584 [gentle music playing] 948 00:47:12,668 --> 00:47:15,876 I... Jane... 949 00:47:17,251 --> 00:47:19,459 [quietly] You got a little... something. 950 00:47:21,043 --> 00:47:22,084 [grunts softly] 951 00:47:25,459 --> 00:47:27,584 [coughs] 952 00:47:34,834 --> 00:47:37,293 [church bells ringing] 953 00:47:40,418 --> 00:47:41,876 [sighs] 954 00:47:43,334 --> 00:47:45,376 [crowd gasping, murmuring] 955 00:47:45,376 --> 00:47:48,001 - Jane. - It's the Affliction! 956 00:47:48,001 --> 00:47:50,084 [coughing] 957 00:47:50,084 --> 00:47:51,543 Your Majesty. 958 00:47:51,543 --> 00:47:52,959 Fetch Dr. Butts. 959 00:47:52,959 --> 00:47:56,043 [♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel"] 960 00:48:01,959 --> 00:48:05,334 {\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 961 00:48:05,334 --> 00:48:08,918 {\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 962 00:48:08,918 --> 00:48:11,543 {\an8}- ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ - [song fades] 963 00:48:11,543 --> 00:48:12,751 [lively orchestral music playing] 964 00:48:12,751 --> 00:48:13,918 [Author] Well, well, well. 965 00:48:13,918 --> 00:48:15,793 So many questions. 966 00:48:15,793 --> 00:48:19,251 Will Jane marry the notorious Guildford Dudley? 967 00:48:19,251 --> 00:48:24,168 Will King Edward be murdered by his deranged sister Mary? 968 00:48:24,168 --> 00:48:25,543 I will be Queen. 969 00:48:25,543 --> 00:48:29,168 - [Author] Will Susannah survive in exile? - [bear roars] 970 00:48:29,168 --> 00:48:32,626 You'll find out, because our story has only just begun. 971 00:48:32,626 --> 00:48:34,084 Tell me everything. 972 00:48:35,126 --> 00:48:37,959 [Author] And once Jane is stuck in her insufferable marriage... 973 00:48:37,959 --> 00:48:39,709 - I'm your Lord husband! - Ha! 974 00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:41,501 [Author] ...to the most infuriating... 975 00:48:41,501 --> 00:48:42,918 - I'll need a dagger. - That's not a dagger. 976 00:48:42,918 --> 00:48:44,668 This is a dagger. 977 00:48:44,668 --> 00:48:46,834 [Author] ...and attractive man she's ever met... 978 00:48:46,834 --> 00:48:48,126 - [groans] - [cries out] 979 00:48:51,126 --> 00:48:53,334 - ♪ Dear Mom, are you proud? ♪ - [♪ Andrew Michael Britton & Lana McDonagh: "Famous Now"] 980 00:48:53,334 --> 00:48:56,126 [Author] ...and living in a world fraught with danger... 981 00:48:56,126 --> 00:48:58,418 Somebody at Court is poisoning me. 982 00:48:58,418 --> 00:48:59,918 [Author] ...and division... 983 00:48:59,918 --> 00:49:01,626 The entire Kingdom is at stake. 984 00:49:01,626 --> 00:49:03,376 - [soldiers chant] - [Author] ...she realizes perhaps 985 00:49:03,376 --> 00:49:05,126 she doesn't know everything, after all. 986 00:49:05,126 --> 00:49:06,209 Bollocks. 987 00:49:06,209 --> 00:49:09,001 [Author] Just when life can't get any more complicated... 988 00:49:09,001 --> 00:49:11,751 My Lady, His Majesty is dead. 989 00:49:11,751 --> 00:49:12,834 [gasps] 990 00:49:12,834 --> 00:49:15,043 [Author] ...Jane is named Queen of England. 991 00:49:15,043 --> 00:49:16,626 Nothing's more important than the monarchy. 992 00:49:16,626 --> 00:49:18,168 - Quite. - Quite. 993 00:49:18,168 --> 00:49:19,626 Quite. 994 00:49:20,293 --> 00:49:21,793 [screams] 995 00:49:22,876 --> 00:49:25,209 [Author] Now she's surrounded by scoundrels, 996 00:49:25,209 --> 00:49:28,251 traitors, sycophants, reprobates, fools... 997 00:49:28,251 --> 00:49:30,793 - [yells] - [grunts] 998 00:49:30,793 --> 00:49:32,418 - ...murderers... - Have fun getting yourself killed. 999 00:49:32,418 --> 00:49:33,501 I will, thank you. 1000 00:49:33,501 --> 00:49:36,209 ...and worst of all, her mother. 1001 00:49:36,209 --> 00:49:37,376 To me! 1002 00:49:37,376 --> 00:49:39,209 I do rather fancy mummykins. 1003 00:49:40,084 --> 00:49:41,709 - [moaning] - [chuckling] 1004 00:49:41,709 --> 00:49:45,418 [Author] Ready for an epic tale of true love and high adventure? 1005 00:49:45,418 --> 00:49:46,918 [Jane] The country wants to change. 1006 00:49:46,918 --> 00:49:48,709 - I could heal England. - [crowd cheering] 1007 00:49:49,251 --> 00:49:50,959 [people screaming] 1008 00:49:50,959 --> 00:49:52,293 Sounds to me like you're giving up. 1009 00:49:52,293 --> 00:49:54,584 Oh, I've never given up on anything in my entire life. 1010 00:49:54,584 --> 00:49:55,709 - Really? - Really. 1011 00:49:55,709 --> 00:49:56,793 Then prove it. 1012 00:49:57,959 --> 00:49:59,251 [Author] Of course you are. 1013 00:49:59,251 --> 00:50:00,418 Jane! 1014 00:50:00,418 --> 00:50:02,126 If you don't escape now, you'll die. 1015 00:50:02,126 --> 00:50:03,251 Fuck that. 1016 00:50:03,918 --> 00:50:05,751 [Author] Settle in, my darlings. 1017 00:50:05,751 --> 00:50:08,126 This is My Lady Jane. 1018 00:50:08,126 --> 00:50:09,501 Come. The Kingdom awaits. 1019 00:50:09,501 --> 00:50:11,959 - ♪ I'm famous now ♪ - [song ends] 1020 00:50:14,876 --> 00:50:17,876 {\an8}[♪ Tegan and Sara: "Rebel Rebel"] 1021 00:50:29,209 --> 00:50:32,751 {\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 1022 00:50:32,751 --> 00:50:36,251 {\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 1023 00:50:36,251 --> 00:50:39,751 {\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 1024 00:50:43,126 --> 00:50:46,459 {\an8}♪ You've got your mother in a whirl ♪ 1025 00:50:46,459 --> 00:50:50,293 {\an8}♪ She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl ♪ 1026 00:50:50,293 --> 00:50:53,834 {\an8}♪ Hey, babe, your hair's all right ♪ 1027 00:50:53,834 --> 00:50:57,168 {\an8}♪ Hey, babe, let's go out tonight ♪ 1028 00:50:57,168 --> 00:51:00,793 {\an8}♪ You like me, and I like it all ♪ 1029 00:51:00,793 --> 00:51:04,251 {\an8}♪ We like dancing, and we look divine ♪ 1030 00:51:04,251 --> 00:51:05,626 {\an8}♪ You love bands ♪ 1031 00:51:05,626 --> 00:51:07,709 {\an8}♪ When they're playing hard ♪ 1032 00:51:07,709 --> 00:51:11,251 {\an8}♪ You want more, and you want it fast ♪ 1033 00:51:11,251 --> 00:51:14,876 {\an8}♪ They put you down, they say I'm wrong ♪ 1034 00:51:14,876 --> 00:51:18,459 {\an8}♪ You tacky thing, you put them on ♪ 1035 00:51:18,459 --> 00:51:22,084 {\an8}♪ Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress ♪ 1036 00:51:22,084 --> 00:51:25,584 {\an8}♪ Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess ♪ 1037 00:51:25,584 --> 00:51:29,126 {\an8}♪ Rebel Rebel, how could they know? ♪ 1038 00:51:29,126 --> 00:51:32,334 {\an8}♪ Hot tramp, I love you so ♪ 1039 00:51:35,459 --> 00:51:36,793 {\an8}♪ Don't ya? ♪ 1040 00:51:39,709 --> 00:51:43,293 {\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 1041 00:51:43,293 --> 00:51:45,251 {\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo-doo ♪ 1042 00:51:45,251 --> 00:51:46,793 {\an8}♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪ 1043 00:51:49,793 --> 00:51:51,418 {\an8}[song fades]