1 00:00:06,251 --> 00:00:08,293 {\an8}[Frances] Jane, this marriage protects us. 2 00:00:08,293 --> 00:00:09,793 {\an8}- Shut up! - I'm sorry? 3 00:00:09,793 --> 00:00:12,751 - I don't want to be married. - [Edward] We're all born to certain roles. 4 00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,501 Our destiny is set. 5 00:00:14,501 --> 00:00:15,584 Where's she going? 6 00:00:15,584 --> 00:00:17,418 [Frances] The Dudleys will do anything for power, 7 00:00:17,543 --> 00:00:20,043 - and they are very, very, very rich. - [laughing] 8 00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,709 We're leaving. Now. 9 00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:22,918 Stop! They're here! 10 00:00:22,918 --> 00:00:25,043 [grunts] Forgive me. 11 00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:27,001 - Ethian. - How's my baby brother? 12 00:00:27,001 --> 00:00:29,793 [Seymour] Weaker than a Sicilian's virtue. 13 00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,251 - And his Will for Succession is-- - Done. 14 00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:32,418 I'm not afraid of death. 15 00:00:32,418 --> 00:00:35,834 [Seymour] Your eldest sister, Mary, is indeed the rightful heir to the throne. 16 00:00:35,959 --> 00:00:38,043 - What if there was somebody else? - Lady Jane. 17 00:00:38,043 --> 00:00:39,209 [Dudley] Lady Jane Grey? 18 00:00:39,209 --> 00:00:43,626 [Seymour] What a happy coincidence. Jane's husband-to-be is your son. 19 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:47,168 - You are the rudest man I have ever met. - Well, the night is young. Mingle. 20 00:00:47,168 --> 00:00:48,376 Good evening! 21 00:00:48,376 --> 00:00:49,793 - Come with me. - As if. 22 00:00:49,793 --> 00:00:52,584 [Jane] Mother, about the wedding. Please don't make me marry him. 23 00:00:52,584 --> 00:00:55,751 I, Guildford, take thee, Jane... 24 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:58,209 - [coughs] - [Margaret] It's the Affliction! 25 00:00:58,209 --> 00:01:00,876 - [sighs] - [crowd gasps] 26 00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:06,418 [♪ The Detroit Cobras: "Cha Cha Twist"] 27 00:01:06,418 --> 00:01:08,043 [Author] If you ever find yourself 28 00:01:08,043 --> 00:01:11,793 faking a fatal disease to avoid saying "I do," 29 00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:15,584 first, check there isn't a royal medic in the congregation. 30 00:01:15,584 --> 00:01:17,584 Because if you don't, 31 00:01:17,584 --> 00:01:21,126 you might find yourself strapped to a table by a sadist 32 00:01:21,126 --> 00:01:23,626 - with a penchant for knife-work. - [song stops] 33 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:24,959 Bollocks. 34 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,918 A swift examination, 35 00:01:26,918 --> 00:01:29,001 Lady Jane, is the only way 36 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:32,834 to assess if you are, in fact, sickened by the Affliction 37 00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:36,584 and indeed near death, as your recent collapse intimates, 38 00:01:36,584 --> 00:01:40,543 or if there is a-another simpler reason. 39 00:01:40,543 --> 00:01:44,793 [Author] She's faking. The simpler reason is, she's faking. 40 00:01:44,793 --> 00:01:46,543 Here, now, let's have a little look, shall we? 41 00:01:46,543 --> 00:01:49,001 Let's go in here. Lovely. 42 00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:50,876 And open-y, open-y. 43 00:01:52,251 --> 00:01:55,084 Lovely. And up here... 44 00:01:55,084 --> 00:01:56,501 The devil is that? 45 00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:59,834 Oh, no, no, I know what that is. That's fine. 46 00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:03,084 - [sets instrument down] - Might be a spleen thing. 47 00:02:03,084 --> 00:02:06,126 Mm, yes. I'm all for de-spleening these days. 48 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,084 [scoffs] Useless organ. 49 00:02:08,209 --> 00:02:10,209 - [snorts deeply, spits] - [Jane] Ugh. 50 00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:11,459 Dear gods. 51 00:02:11,459 --> 00:02:14,168 Uh, Dr. Butts, shouldn't you be with the King? 52 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,793 Don't you women ever stop talking? 53 00:02:16,793 --> 00:02:20,668 Now, if you are ailed by the Affliction, 54 00:02:20,668 --> 00:02:23,209 the blood shall tell us everything. 55 00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:25,668 [Author] The blood shall tell him nothing. 56 00:02:25,668 --> 00:02:28,376 The blood is made from dried beetle shells 57 00:02:28,376 --> 00:02:32,376 and honey crystals Jane chewed up and dribbled out. 58 00:02:33,376 --> 00:02:34,418 Cheerio. 59 00:02:34,418 --> 00:02:35,668 [slurps] 60 00:02:35,668 --> 00:02:37,834 [swishes, sighs] 61 00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:39,876 [smacks lips] Oh. 62 00:02:39,876 --> 00:02:42,876 Why, 'tis sweet. [exclaims] 63 00:02:42,876 --> 00:02:43,959 Perfect. 64 00:02:43,959 --> 00:02:46,626 - No Affliction. - What? 65 00:02:46,626 --> 00:02:49,001 Don't say "what." Say "pardon." 66 00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:50,793 Your humors are out of balance. 67 00:02:50,793 --> 00:02:54,168 Thus excess melancholy and unladylike aggression. 68 00:02:54,168 --> 00:02:55,751 A thorough bleed, 69 00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,584 - and the wedding may proceed. - [gasps] 70 00:02:57,584 --> 00:03:01,668 And I'll get my boy to make the blood into a, into a sausage for your breakfast. 71 00:03:01,668 --> 00:03:02,751 Yummy, yummy. 72 00:03:02,751 --> 00:03:04,043 [sighs] 73 00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:06,418 [Author] Jane's options are clear. 74 00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:09,668 Marriage or torture followed by marriage. 75 00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:12,918 Followed by a sausage made from her own blood. 76 00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:14,209 [pants sharply] 77 00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:16,918 Stop! I'm better! 78 00:03:16,918 --> 00:03:20,334 You are a masterful healer. 79 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,459 Mother? 80 00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:25,668 Dr. Butts healed me. 81 00:03:25,668 --> 00:03:28,209 I thought he would. 82 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,959 - ♪ Come on, baby ♪ - [♪ The Detroit Cobras: "Cha Cha Twist" resumes] 83 00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:32,293 ♪ Let's do the Twist ♪ 84 00:03:32,293 --> 00:03:34,126 [door opens] 85 00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:38,584 ♪ Come on, baby ♪ 86 00:03:38,584 --> 00:03:40,668 ♪ Let's do the Twist ♪ 87 00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:45,543 ♪ You look fine, yeah ♪ 88 00:03:45,543 --> 00:03:48,084 Lady Jane, do you feel better? 89 00:03:48,084 --> 00:03:50,251 ♪ ♪ 90 00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:53,418 ♪ Have you seen my sis? ♪ 91 00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:57,209 - ♪ Tell me, baby ♪ - [song ends] 92 00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:59,209 I do. 93 00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:03,584 {\an8}[♪ Emily Wolfe: "Holy Roller"] 94 00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:06,001 {\an8}[crowd murmuring] 95 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:07,334 [crowd exclaiming] 96 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,876 Swans mate for life. It's symbolic. 97 00:04:12,876 --> 00:04:14,626 [Author] Jane wants to throw up. 98 00:04:14,626 --> 00:04:15,751 Thank you. 99 00:04:15,751 --> 00:04:18,793 [Author] All that effort, begging, pleading, running away, 100 00:04:18,918 --> 00:04:21,418 - and then the merest hint of torture... - Wanker. 101 00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:23,001 ...and she capitulated. 102 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:26,668 - Did you just call me a wanker? - Called myself a wanker. 103 00:04:26,668 --> 00:04:29,043 But I rather expect you're one, too. 104 00:04:29,043 --> 00:04:31,876 You are even more charming and ladylike than I remember. 105 00:04:31,876 --> 00:04:34,001 Oh, and you're Galahad reborn. 106 00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:36,626 The very picture of chivalric manhood. 107 00:04:36,626 --> 00:04:38,834 Did you just say that you're picturing my manhood? 108 00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:41,251 [Frances] Jane, darling, I haven't congratulated you 109 00:04:41,251 --> 00:04:43,334 on this happy day. 110 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,876 [Jane] I need some air. 111 00:04:46,876 --> 00:04:48,501 No more games. 112 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:53,293 I know you hate it, but trust me, you will find this marriage empowering. 113 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:56,001 Empowering? [stammers] He owns me now. 114 00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:58,709 I am his wife. His chattel. His-- 115 00:04:58,709 --> 00:05:00,459 His problem and no longer mine. 116 00:05:00,459 --> 00:05:01,876 Lady Frances. Lady Jane. 117 00:05:01,876 --> 00:05:05,376 - The Duke of Norfolk sends his fondest-- - Move, move and leave it in the gift room. 118 00:05:05,376 --> 00:05:06,876 Thank you. 119 00:05:06,876 --> 00:05:09,793 Jane, you outrank Guildford. 120 00:05:09,793 --> 00:05:12,126 His grandfather was an accountant. 121 00:05:12,126 --> 00:05:15,751 Whereas your great-grandfather was the King of England. 122 00:05:15,751 --> 00:05:20,001 Tell me, Mother, did I fetch a good price or was I a bargain? 123 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:21,918 I would've paid them to take you. 124 00:05:21,918 --> 00:05:23,293 Eat your swan. 125 00:05:25,209 --> 00:05:28,543 Word to the wise. Now, listen. 126 00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:30,293 Target is in sight. 127 00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:32,668 The bull's-eye is clear 128 00:05:32,668 --> 00:05:35,668 - but still requires a steady hand... - Dad. 129 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,084 ...as we pull back the bow. 130 00:05:38,084 --> 00:05:41,168 - So remember, twang, twang, twang. - What? 131 00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:44,793 So, Stan, tell me about you. 132 00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:46,584 My fiancée has the plague. 133 00:05:46,584 --> 00:05:48,209 - Oh, bad luck. - Hmm. 134 00:05:48,209 --> 00:05:49,293 My husband's dead. 135 00:05:49,293 --> 00:05:51,376 - Bad luck, indeed. - I know. 136 00:05:51,376 --> 00:05:52,543 Mm. 137 00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:55,626 [slurping] 138 00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:02,168 Was that a withering look? 139 00:06:04,084 --> 00:06:05,751 Oh. And another one. 140 00:06:06,918 --> 00:06:08,209 Consider me withered. 141 00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:11,959 [whispers] How'd you fake the blood in the church, anyway? 142 00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,751 Mm, the blood was not fake. 143 00:06:13,751 --> 00:06:15,084 Perhaps the medic was wrong 144 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:18,376 and I do have the Affliction simply crawling all over my lungs. 145 00:06:18,376 --> 00:06:21,043 And, hey, now that we're married, you'll catch it and we'll both die. 146 00:06:22,293 --> 00:06:23,501 Fingers crossed. 147 00:06:26,126 --> 00:06:27,709 - Margaret. - What? 148 00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:29,876 You're ten. Beer only. 149 00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:31,209 I love wine. 150 00:06:31,209 --> 00:06:34,376 - And Katherine loves bedding ceremonies. - What? Shut up. No, I don't. 151 00:06:34,376 --> 00:06:39,376 [Author] Jane had forgotten all about the bedding ceremony. 152 00:06:39,376 --> 00:06:41,459 - [Dudley] People? People. Eyes to me. - [silverware tapping goblet] 153 00:06:41,459 --> 00:06:44,543 Eyes to me. 154 00:06:44,543 --> 00:06:45,834 Well. 155 00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:48,084 His Royal Highness, King Edward, 156 00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:51,918 has returned to the Palace to rule our great Kingdom 157 00:06:51,918 --> 00:06:55,043 and to keep the Verity people safe! 158 00:06:55,043 --> 00:06:56,918 [crowd cheers] 159 00:06:56,918 --> 00:07:02,876 Now, there are many here today who feared that this day would never come. 160 00:07:02,876 --> 00:07:07,168 I mean, my rascal son, the Grey's unpopular daughter. 161 00:07:07,168 --> 00:07:12,168 But as my darling departed wife used to say, 162 00:07:12,168 --> 00:07:13,918 there is a key for every lock. 163 00:07:13,918 --> 00:07:15,668 [crowd murmurs] 164 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:19,584 And Guildford has managed to insert that key today. 165 00:07:19,584 --> 00:07:22,876 So, let's raise a glass 166 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,418 to the pure Verity union 167 00:07:25,418 --> 00:07:29,543 of Lady Jane Grey and my son, 168 00:07:29,543 --> 00:07:32,751 Lord Guildford Dudley! 169 00:07:32,751 --> 00:07:35,376 Stand up, the two of you. Come on. 170 00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:39,251 - Raise a glass to Jane and Guildford! - [crowd cheering] 171 00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:40,834 [crowd] Jane and Guildford! 172 00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:43,418 Smile, huh? Teeth and eyes. 173 00:07:43,418 --> 00:07:45,543 - People love you. - [applause] 174 00:07:48,209 --> 00:07:50,376 [crowd quiets] 175 00:07:50,376 --> 00:07:51,918 I'd like to say a few words. 176 00:07:51,918 --> 00:07:55,751 I stand before my countrymen-- and women-- 177 00:07:55,751 --> 00:08:00,959 offering not just my blessings but those of my brother, King Edward. 178 00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:04,126 There is no soul he holds in higher esteem than Jane. 179 00:08:04,126 --> 00:08:06,418 I hear he's coughing all the way to his coffin, Bessie! 180 00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:09,084 - [laughter] - Silence, fool! 181 00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:10,501 [crowd quiets] 182 00:08:10,501 --> 00:08:15,959 To speak of His Majesty's death is treason, even in jest. 183 00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:19,543 I entreat you all to remember that when speaking of my beloved brother. 184 00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:23,001 Besides, I can assure you, 185 00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:26,668 good King Edward is alive and safe. 186 00:08:26,668 --> 00:08:27,751 [Author] Incorrect. 187 00:08:27,751 --> 00:08:31,834 Edward is alive but not safe. 188 00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:34,459 [Seymour] Too much excitement. 189 00:08:34,459 --> 00:08:36,584 I knew it would be. I'm always right about these things. 190 00:08:36,709 --> 00:08:38,126 What news of... of Jane? 191 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,251 - Jane is fine. - [door opens] 192 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:43,043 Fainted with joy. Bess is there on your behalf. 193 00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:44,709 [Charles whispers] 194 00:08:46,001 --> 00:08:49,668 Mm. More Ethian uprisings in the north. 195 00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:50,876 [Charles] The Pack, sire. 196 00:08:50,876 --> 00:08:54,501 Their beastly leader, Archer-- why haven't you killed him yet? 197 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,043 I'm trying my best. 198 00:08:57,334 --> 00:08:59,251 I-I wish to be alone. 199 00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:01,626 [Mary] Sleep, brother. 200 00:09:06,626 --> 00:09:08,834 [door closes] 201 00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:11,543 [whistles] 202 00:09:11,543 --> 00:09:14,168 - They're gone. - [Petunia whines, barks] 203 00:09:16,626 --> 00:09:18,001 I'm starving. 204 00:09:21,293 --> 00:09:22,793 Cheese. 205 00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:24,376 - Love cheese. - [giggles] 206 00:09:24,376 --> 00:09:26,501 - Mmm. - I have had an idea. 207 00:09:26,501 --> 00:09:28,251 - [pours drink] - We can find the poisoner 208 00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:29,793 by finding the source of the poison. 209 00:09:29,793 --> 00:09:32,668 To dogs, it smells like rotting flesh and poo-poo. 210 00:09:32,668 --> 00:09:35,418 When I find my poisoner, I can order them boiled to death. 211 00:09:35,418 --> 00:09:36,501 [Edward laughs] 212 00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:39,293 Marvelously barbaric. Dad's idea, of course. 213 00:09:39,293 --> 00:09:40,376 Of course. 214 00:09:40,376 --> 00:09:41,668 Oh, here's an idea. 215 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,876 Find the source of the poison, find the poisoner. 216 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,709 Didn't I just say that? 217 00:09:45,709 --> 00:09:47,834 Tomorrow morning, we're going to have an adventure. 218 00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:51,209 If I do this, if I help you, then once your poisoner is dead-- 219 00:09:51,209 --> 00:09:53,543 - Boiled. - Boiled. 220 00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,168 Then you will come with me to Granny's. 221 00:09:55,168 --> 00:09:57,334 Promise me. I can't go back there without you. 222 00:09:57,334 --> 00:09:58,834 I promise. 223 00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:02,709 I wonder what Jane is doing. I hope she's having fun. 224 00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:05,251 [Author] Jane is not having fun. 225 00:10:06,668 --> 00:10:12,001 Like every virgin contemplating her first meeting with "The Big D," 226 00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:15,918 Jane is feeling a heady mix of nerves and concupiscence. 227 00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:19,501 Or as the kids call it, "the raging horn." 228 00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:23,459 Jane has the raging horn for Guildford, 229 00:10:23,459 --> 00:10:26,001 even though she knows he is utterly incorrigible 230 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:29,376 and that their first time, the bedding ceremony, 231 00:10:29,376 --> 00:10:32,209 will be in front of everybody in this room. 232 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,793 Not dancing? 233 00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:37,959 They're just stumbling and shit-faced. 234 00:10:39,168 --> 00:10:40,709 Well, let me tell you a secret. 235 00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:46,084 Sometimes getting shit-faced is incredibly good fun. 236 00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:50,126 - You've got something in your teeth. - What? [grunts] 237 00:10:54,376 --> 00:10:55,834 [goblet bangs on table] 238 00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,626 [Margaret] Kiss! 239 00:10:57,626 --> 00:10:59,751 - Kiss! - Kiss! 240 00:10:59,751 --> 00:11:02,168 [crowd chanting, clapping] Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 241 00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:03,626 [crowd continues chanting "Kiss!"] 242 00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:06,543 [♪ Wet Leg: "Angelica"] 243 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:11,251 [chanting and clapping continue faster] 244 00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:15,334 [chanting and clapping distort and slow] 245 00:11:17,168 --> 00:11:18,834 [distorted] Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! 246 00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:22,376 ♪ Comes to an end ♪ 247 00:11:22,376 --> 00:11:24,793 ♪ We all go again ♪ 248 00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:26,959 - [Guildford whispers] As if. - [song stops] 249 00:11:26,959 --> 00:11:28,959 - [Jane grunts] - [crowd groans] 250 00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:33,084 [stammers] Th-There's plenty of time for that. 251 00:11:33,084 --> 00:11:34,709 We all know what's coming. 252 00:11:34,709 --> 00:11:36,959 [crowd exclaiming] 253 00:11:36,959 --> 00:11:38,834 [lighthearted music playing] 254 00:11:47,626 --> 00:11:49,584 [chuckles softly] 255 00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:56,168 [soft whoosh] 256 00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:09,334 [coins jingle] 257 00:12:09,334 --> 00:12:10,626 Thief. 258 00:12:15,209 --> 00:12:16,959 How did that get in there? 259 00:12:16,959 --> 00:12:19,668 And an Ethian thief, I'd wager. 260 00:12:19,668 --> 00:12:21,959 I contain multitudes, My Lady. 261 00:12:21,959 --> 00:12:23,293 [sighs] 262 00:12:23,293 --> 00:12:25,626 Well, it's been a pleasure. 263 00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:27,043 - But I must away-- - No! 264 00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:28,543 Do you know a woman named Susannah? 265 00:12:28,543 --> 00:12:31,126 She's like you. Ethian. 266 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,001 She's my best friend. 267 00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:35,334 We don't all know each other, actually. 268 00:12:36,376 --> 00:12:38,043 What the tits?! 269 00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:41,293 [soft whoosh] 270 00:12:42,668 --> 00:12:45,709 [coins jingling] 271 00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:48,001 [Guildford] I had come in here to apologize for my rudeness, 272 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,751 but now I see you're pilfering our wedding gifts. 273 00:12:49,751 --> 00:12:52,918 Perhaps I should. They'd fund my freedom. 274 00:12:52,918 --> 00:12:54,876 You humiliated me. 275 00:12:54,876 --> 00:12:59,668 This is a clearly doomed arrangement, so yes, I intend to leave you. 276 00:12:59,668 --> 00:13:02,584 - As soon as possible. - Oh. Why? 277 00:13:02,584 --> 00:13:04,793 You are one of the most notorious rakes in London. 278 00:13:04,793 --> 00:13:07,793 - Oh. Thank you. - Oh, it's not a good thing. 279 00:13:07,793 --> 00:13:09,668 Do you know what people say about you? 280 00:13:09,668 --> 00:13:12,293 That you sleep all day, carouse all night, 281 00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:15,459 spending your time with knaves, fools, harlots, drunkards, braggarts-- 282 00:13:15,459 --> 00:13:17,709 Well, you certainly seemed to enjoy my company in the tavern. 283 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,043 - [scoffs] - And besides, 284 00:13:19,043 --> 00:13:20,626 at least I have friends. 285 00:13:20,626 --> 00:13:22,709 And yet you still married me. 286 00:13:22,709 --> 00:13:25,376 - A complete stranger. - I had my reasons. 287 00:13:25,376 --> 00:13:27,543 Oh, how terribly cryptic. 288 00:13:27,543 --> 00:13:29,918 My, what a fascinating enigma you are. 289 00:13:29,918 --> 00:13:31,043 What were your reasons? 290 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,543 Money. 291 00:13:32,543 --> 00:13:34,959 And to save my sister Katherine from an ancient Duke 292 00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:36,876 who smells like a forgotten chamber pot. 293 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:40,459 Do I smell like a forgotten chamber pot? 294 00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:45,001 I have not smelled you. [scoffs softly] 295 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:46,459 And I don't intend to. 296 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:50,043 [Author] It was not the killer exit line that Jane was hoping for, 297 00:13:50,043 --> 00:13:51,793 but it was all she had. 298 00:13:51,793 --> 00:13:54,293 - [Katherine] There you are. - [Dudley] Ah, the young lovers. 299 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,959 I began to wonder if you'd given in to temptation 300 00:13:56,959 --> 00:14:00,668 - and jumped into the proverbial sack. - No. Dad. Absolutely not. 301 00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:03,459 Jolly good, because the bedding ceremony is about to begin. 302 00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:05,251 Come on. Let's go. 303 00:14:05,251 --> 00:14:06,668 Come on. 304 00:14:07,918 --> 00:14:12,001 After which, you must actually shag, 305 00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:13,459 seal the deal. 306 00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:16,293 Huh? Otherwise, this marriage could be ended 307 00:14:16,293 --> 00:14:17,626 - like that. - [fingers snap] 308 00:14:17,626 --> 00:14:20,418 [♪ Goat Girl: "Tainted Love"] 309 00:14:20,418 --> 00:14:23,459 [lively chatter, laughter] 310 00:14:26,959 --> 00:14:29,168 - Dad, really? - This way. Come on. 311 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:33,293 ♪ I feel I've got to run away ♪ 312 00:14:33,293 --> 00:14:35,959 ♪ I've got to get away... ♪ 313 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:38,668 Well, this is quite the turnout, isn't it, eh? 314 00:14:38,668 --> 00:14:40,001 Goodness. 315 00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:45,959 Jane, I know we haven't discussed what happens between a man and a woman, 316 00:14:45,959 --> 00:14:49,584 but if you're anything like me, I think you'll take to it like a duck to water. 317 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:53,543 Please, do not demean us both with a speech about the marital bed. 318 00:14:53,543 --> 00:14:55,584 [Dudley] Right, get it off. Come on. 319 00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:57,459 Remember, there's a deal to be sealed. 320 00:14:57,459 --> 00:15:00,959 Fun is fun, but work is work. Get the job done. 321 00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:02,543 [Frances] Now, Jane, darling, 322 00:15:02,543 --> 00:15:05,668 mouth closed, legs open. 323 00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:06,751 You're killing me. 324 00:15:06,751 --> 00:15:08,418 Now, that is a shoulder. 325 00:15:08,418 --> 00:15:11,084 - Time ticks by, we all get older. - Please, Dad. 326 00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,209 I spy a maiden's shoulder. 327 00:15:13,209 --> 00:15:14,418 [Stan] Tell you what, chaps. 328 00:15:14,418 --> 00:15:17,209 I do rather fancy mummykins. [chuckles] 329 00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:18,418 I've got a few tips. 330 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:22,043 Hold anything firm firmly 331 00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:25,584 and anything soft softly. 332 00:15:25,584 --> 00:15:28,251 - Apparently, it really hurts. - Shh. Don't listen to her. 333 00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:32,251 - [dramatic music playing] - [heart beating slowly] 334 00:15:36,584 --> 00:15:38,626 - [crowd cheering] - [♪ Goat Girl: "Tainted Love" continues] 335 00:15:44,168 --> 00:15:46,668 [crowd cheering] 336 00:15:49,168 --> 00:15:50,418 Why aren't they leaving? 337 00:15:50,418 --> 00:15:54,126 They need to see our legs to prove consummation. 338 00:15:54,126 --> 00:15:56,793 They'll leave if we frot against each other. 339 00:15:57,959 --> 00:15:59,543 Our feet, I mean. 340 00:16:02,084 --> 00:16:05,126 ♪ Take my tears and that's not nearly all ♪ 341 00:16:05,126 --> 00:16:07,001 - [crowd cheering] - ♪ Tainted love ♪ 342 00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:08,501 ♪ Oh ♪ 343 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,376 ♪ Tainted, oh... ♪ 344 00:16:11,376 --> 00:16:13,959 - Yes! [whoops] - [crowd cheering] 345 00:16:13,959 --> 00:16:17,251 ♪ I cannot stand the way you tease ♪ 346 00:16:17,251 --> 00:16:19,334 [lively chatter, laughter] 347 00:16:21,209 --> 00:16:23,209 [song fades] 348 00:16:23,209 --> 00:16:25,168 Now what? 349 00:16:25,168 --> 00:16:26,459 Just wait. 350 00:16:27,918 --> 00:16:29,251 [door closes] 351 00:16:29,251 --> 00:16:30,501 [sighs] 352 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,334 Jane. 353 00:16:35,334 --> 00:16:38,334 Now that we are finally alone, let me be clear. 354 00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:41,168 I do not think that I should have to defend myself 355 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:44,043 or the way that I've chosen to live my life until now. 356 00:16:44,043 --> 00:16:47,501 - Because it's indefensible. - Uh, let me speak. 357 00:16:48,584 --> 00:16:49,876 Jane. 358 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:52,668 Do you... 359 00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:57,751 Have you ever been in a situation where you've had to do a certain thing, 360 00:16:57,751 --> 00:16:59,293 and then when you got there, 361 00:16:59,293 --> 00:17:01,501 you didn't know if you could go through with it? 362 00:17:01,501 --> 00:17:03,501 [gentle music playing] 363 00:17:10,668 --> 00:17:12,584 Not without a drink, at least. 364 00:17:16,126 --> 00:17:19,959 Actually, I don't require wine for courage. 365 00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:21,084 Or personality. 366 00:17:21,084 --> 00:17:23,834 Gods' teeth, no wonder your mother sold you to the highest bidder. 367 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,584 - No wonder your father had to buy you a wife. - Well, I should thank him. 368 00:17:26,584 --> 00:17:28,501 Because, of all the heinous, know-it-all wenches in the world, 369 00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:29,626 I got stuck with you. 370 00:17:29,626 --> 00:17:31,418 How dare you speak to me like that?! 371 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,209 - Because I'm your Lord husband! - [scoffs] 372 00:17:33,209 --> 00:17:35,543 Who you are to love, honor and obey. 373 00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:37,293 Ha! 374 00:17:41,209 --> 00:17:42,334 Missed! 375 00:17:47,543 --> 00:17:49,501 I wish to be alone until the morrow. 376 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,459 - Jane, that's the-- - Good night. 377 00:17:51,459 --> 00:17:52,751 Dressing room. 378 00:17:52,751 --> 00:17:54,626 [whispers] Shit. 379 00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:56,543 - [thump on door] - [Jane] Hello? 380 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,709 - Let me out. Bastard! - [banging on door] 381 00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:00,793 [whimsical music playing] 382 00:18:03,293 --> 00:18:05,418 [both moaning, breathing heavily] 383 00:18:09,334 --> 00:18:10,793 Ah, mm-mm. To the left. 384 00:18:10,793 --> 00:18:12,668 Left, left, left, left, left. 385 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,918 That's better. 386 00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:17,084 [moans] 387 00:18:17,084 --> 00:18:19,376 [laughing] 388 00:18:19,376 --> 00:18:21,459 [moaning] 389 00:18:23,251 --> 00:18:25,251 [moaning loudly] 390 00:18:26,501 --> 00:18:28,793 [grunting] 391 00:18:30,126 --> 00:18:32,251 [breathing heavily] 392 00:18:32,251 --> 00:18:33,543 [sighs, exhales sharply] 393 00:18:33,543 --> 00:18:36,251 Uh, actually, I didn't. 394 00:18:36,251 --> 00:18:38,043 Oh, well, something to look forward to. 395 00:18:38,043 --> 00:18:41,168 Look, do-do you mind if we just hop back up? 396 00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:43,209 I'll be awfully fast. 397 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,584 Ow! 398 00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:48,543 Stan, is that damp in the ceiling? 399 00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:50,459 Look at him. 400 00:18:50,459 --> 00:18:52,168 He just feels so sad. 401 00:18:52,168 --> 00:18:54,293 Ah, he'll get over it. 402 00:18:54,293 --> 00:18:57,376 Why doesn't your father take better care of this place? 403 00:18:57,376 --> 00:18:59,876 Daddy likes to spend money. He's just not good at earning it. 404 00:19:01,459 --> 00:19:03,043 Dudley's broke? 405 00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:05,376 - How broke?! - [gasps] 406 00:19:06,376 --> 00:19:07,668 You're scaring me. 407 00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:11,334 And I kind of like it. 408 00:19:11,334 --> 00:19:13,251 [both chuckling] 409 00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,209 Oh. 410 00:19:17,209 --> 00:19:21,334 It must be... terribly vexing, 411 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:24,001 this money situation, for all of you. 412 00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:26,001 Now, um... [clears throat] 413 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:28,043 come and unburden yourself 414 00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:31,293 and tell me... 415 00:19:31,293 --> 00:19:32,918 everything. 416 00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:37,501 [breathing heavily] 417 00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:39,584 [upbeat music playing] 418 00:19:43,376 --> 00:19:45,376 [thunder rumbling] 419 00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:54,418 I cannot tempt you to join me? 420 00:19:54,418 --> 00:19:57,751 I detest bathing. 421 00:19:57,751 --> 00:20:00,126 How many times do I have to tell you? 422 00:20:00,126 --> 00:20:01,418 We are peevish, I see. 423 00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:06,209 [intriguing music playing] 424 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,876 Patience, Princess. 425 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,001 The throne will be yours. It is your birthright. 426 00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:15,084 And when you have that crown, 427 00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:17,334 - we can finally be married. - We can finally slay all the Ethians 428 00:20:17,334 --> 00:20:20,084 - just like Daddy would've wanted. - That's exactly what I said. 429 00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:22,709 That's not what you said. 430 00:20:24,251 --> 00:20:25,876 Naturally, once Queen, 431 00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:28,626 betrothal will be your honor to bestow upon me. 432 00:20:29,918 --> 00:20:34,043 But until that happy day arrives, I hoped you would accept 433 00:20:34,043 --> 00:20:36,168 this token of my abiding love and affection. 434 00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:40,043 My love. 435 00:20:40,043 --> 00:20:41,501 I'm overcome. 436 00:20:43,084 --> 00:20:45,001 But you know I can't accept it. 437 00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:48,834 You give me your ring instead, 438 00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:53,209 and I'll wear that on a chain around my neck as a symbol of love and fidelity. 439 00:20:53,209 --> 00:20:55,459 My eye ring? That-that was a gift from King Henry. 440 00:20:55,459 --> 00:20:59,168 Yes, I know. And as he gave it to you, he kissed it. 441 00:20:59,168 --> 00:21:01,126 'Cause you're special. 442 00:21:07,876 --> 00:21:10,209 And now we have Daddy's blessing. 443 00:21:14,126 --> 00:21:15,668 [door opens] 444 00:21:17,334 --> 00:21:18,751 - Hello? - [knocks] 445 00:21:18,751 --> 00:21:20,626 Hello? Guildford Dudley, let me out! 446 00:21:20,626 --> 00:21:23,043 - [banging on door] - Let me out of here! 447 00:21:23,043 --> 00:21:26,584 You let me out of here, Guildford Dudley, right now! 448 00:21:26,584 --> 00:21:29,209 Oh, you bastard! Leaving me-- 449 00:21:29,209 --> 00:21:30,293 Where is he? 450 00:21:30,293 --> 00:21:33,418 Lady Jane! You can't go out like that. You're practically naked! 451 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,751 Your hair! 452 00:21:37,126 --> 00:21:39,001 You are a wife now. 453 00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:41,459 You only take your hair down when you're alone with himself. 454 00:21:41,459 --> 00:21:43,126 During marital purposes. 455 00:21:43,126 --> 00:21:44,626 Marital-- 456 00:21:44,626 --> 00:21:45,709 Oh. 457 00:21:45,709 --> 00:21:48,793 [sighs] A woman needs it at least once a day. 458 00:21:48,793 --> 00:21:49,959 I like it twice myself. 459 00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:54,459 If you don't get it, then all the fluids and vapors build up and cause fits. 460 00:21:54,459 --> 00:21:57,751 I knew a widow from Exeter who missed marital purposes so much 461 00:21:57,751 --> 00:21:59,084 that her eyes exploded. 462 00:22:01,418 --> 00:22:02,793 And then she died. 463 00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:07,334 Guildford will show you what to do. 464 00:22:07,334 --> 00:22:08,668 Where is Lord Guildford? 465 00:22:08,668 --> 00:22:12,876 Oh, he keeps a bed down by the stables. He likes the easy access to town. 466 00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:16,209 Oh, I'm sure he does. 467 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:19,293 [♪ Black Honey: "Wild Thing"] 468 00:22:24,709 --> 00:22:27,001 ♪ Wild thing ♪ 469 00:22:29,084 --> 00:22:32,543 ♪ You make my heart sing ♪ 470 00:22:33,959 --> 00:22:39,126 ♪ You make everything groovy ♪ 471 00:22:39,126 --> 00:22:40,334 [sighs] 472 00:22:40,334 --> 00:22:42,876 ♪ Wild thing ♪ 473 00:22:52,168 --> 00:22:54,043 [song ends] 474 00:22:54,043 --> 00:22:55,168 You! 475 00:22:56,209 --> 00:23:00,209 You left me stuck in that sodding dressing room all night, you knave. 476 00:23:00,209 --> 00:23:03,876 You locked yourself in the sodding dressing room, you numpty. 477 00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:06,376 - [birds chirping] - [suspenseful music playing] 478 00:23:07,876 --> 00:23:09,168 Jane, I really need to be alone. 479 00:23:09,168 --> 00:23:13,293 Oh, well, we're married now, so not being alone is part of the deal. 480 00:23:13,293 --> 00:23:15,626 Jane, please just leave. 481 00:23:16,709 --> 00:23:17,834 Why? 482 00:23:17,834 --> 00:23:19,168 Where are you-- 483 00:23:21,709 --> 00:23:24,876 [whinnies, neighs] 484 00:23:26,626 --> 00:23:28,043 You're a horse? 485 00:23:29,584 --> 00:23:31,334 Change back. 486 00:23:32,543 --> 00:23:35,918 Guildford, there are servants everywhere. Someone is going to see you. Change back. 487 00:23:35,918 --> 00:23:37,418 [neighs] 488 00:23:37,418 --> 00:23:40,668 - [door opens] - Ah, I thought I'd find you here. 489 00:23:40,668 --> 00:23:44,709 The inevitable wedding morning conversation. 490 00:23:44,709 --> 00:23:47,584 Uh, he can't change. Not until sunset. 491 00:23:47,584 --> 00:23:49,168 Uh, meet Rupert. 492 00:23:49,168 --> 00:23:51,126 - He's Guildford's groom. - Milady. 493 00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:52,251 What? 494 00:23:52,251 --> 00:23:54,251 Don't say "what." Say "pardon." 495 00:23:54,251 --> 00:23:56,918 Guildford can't control his Ethian powers. 496 00:23:56,918 --> 00:23:58,376 Why? 497 00:23:58,376 --> 00:24:01,084 Ethians can change back and forth whenever they want. Everybody knows that. 498 00:24:01,084 --> 00:24:02,459 Not my boy. 499 00:24:02,459 --> 00:24:04,209 Never has. We don't know why. 500 00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:07,126 It's a sort of horse-by-day, man-by-night thing. 501 00:24:07,126 --> 00:24:08,584 That's not a thing. 502 00:24:08,584 --> 00:24:10,334 I think you're in shock. 503 00:24:10,334 --> 00:24:13,584 Give yourself a little time, and you'll see that it's not that bad. 504 00:24:13,584 --> 00:24:15,084 I mean, look at him. 505 00:24:15,084 --> 00:24:18,918 It's not as if he's one of those Pack Ethians you hear so much about. 506 00:24:18,918 --> 00:24:22,668 I mean, with Guildford, it's... it's more of a quirk. 507 00:24:22,668 --> 00:24:27,793 So, you, Rupert and Guildford will embark upon your honeymoon today. 508 00:24:27,793 --> 00:24:29,876 Honeymoon? 509 00:24:29,876 --> 00:24:33,626 Why would I go on a honeymoon with a horse? 510 00:24:33,626 --> 00:24:36,334 To evade prying eyes 511 00:24:36,334 --> 00:24:40,584 and have some time to adjust and to focus on the realities of your marriage. 512 00:24:40,584 --> 00:24:43,418 No. No. I can't stay married to him. 513 00:24:43,418 --> 00:24:45,543 Jane. Jane, Jane, Jane. 514 00:24:45,543 --> 00:24:49,168 I often find, with very clever people like your good self, 515 00:24:49,168 --> 00:24:52,876 they gad about the place spouting Greek and generally arse-ing things up, 516 00:24:52,876 --> 00:24:56,584 but they're frequently blind to bigger truths. 517 00:24:56,584 --> 00:25:01,626 Do you know the punishment for Ethian-Verity intermarriage? 518 00:25:01,626 --> 00:25:03,709 [suspenseful music playing] 519 00:25:05,126 --> 00:25:07,126 If I tell anyone, we're all dead. 520 00:25:07,126 --> 00:25:11,293 You, him, me, your mother, your sisters. 521 00:25:11,293 --> 00:25:13,001 Me, probably. 522 00:25:13,001 --> 00:25:15,543 - Oh, definitely you. - No, this is madness. 523 00:25:15,543 --> 00:25:18,126 My cousin, King Edward, will annul this marriage. He will protect me. 524 00:25:18,126 --> 00:25:20,793 The ailing Verity King, 525 00:25:20,793 --> 00:25:22,668 who's expanded Division Laws, 526 00:25:22,668 --> 00:25:26,168 who's constantly hanging Ethian miscreants? 527 00:25:26,168 --> 00:25:28,418 Do you really want to bet your life on that? 528 00:25:28,418 --> 00:25:31,668 The only clear way out of this 529 00:25:31,668 --> 00:25:34,251 is quiet obedience. 530 00:25:34,251 --> 00:25:37,543 And a honeymoon far, far away. 531 00:25:37,543 --> 00:25:39,418 [Guildford neighs] 532 00:25:39,418 --> 00:25:41,043 Oh, Jane. 533 00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:44,834 Did you actually think you'd find a real man to marry you? 534 00:25:47,209 --> 00:25:49,209 [door opens] 535 00:25:50,584 --> 00:25:51,793 [door closes] 536 00:25:51,793 --> 00:25:53,709 [whinnies] 537 00:25:53,709 --> 00:25:54,918 - [barks] - [coughing] 538 00:25:54,918 --> 00:25:59,626 [Author] As a boy, Edward thrilled at tales of Emperor Nero, 539 00:25:59,626 --> 00:26:04,084 who would don a disguise and cavort around Rome as a commoner. 540 00:26:04,084 --> 00:26:07,626 Now Edward is finally about to experience it for himself. 541 00:26:07,626 --> 00:26:10,959 The world as a normal person. 542 00:26:10,959 --> 00:26:16,543 A pleb, a pauper, someone who isn't probably dying. 543 00:26:16,543 --> 00:26:20,084 Someone who shall uncover the truth, dash it. 544 00:26:20,084 --> 00:26:22,001 Old woman. 545 00:26:22,001 --> 00:26:24,251 I am a simple farmer seeking a herbalist. 546 00:26:24,251 --> 00:26:26,751 - Pray tell-- - Buy me pig or bugger off. 547 00:26:29,501 --> 00:26:32,084 Did you see that? No idea who I was. 548 00:26:32,084 --> 00:26:33,293 "Bugger off," she said. 549 00:26:33,293 --> 00:26:36,918 - I can't see a herbalist anywhere. - Perhaps we should try the next village. 550 00:26:38,168 --> 00:26:39,418 Wait. Look. 551 00:26:41,584 --> 00:26:43,168 It's only a flower girl. 552 00:26:44,751 --> 00:26:46,168 No, she isn't. 553 00:26:46,168 --> 00:26:50,126 You distract her. I'll change and take a sniff around. 554 00:26:50,126 --> 00:26:53,126 Marjoram, feverfew, sage and daisies. 555 00:26:53,126 --> 00:26:56,959 Good for what ails you and bad for what might impale you. 556 00:26:58,043 --> 00:26:59,834 Good morrow, flower peasant. 557 00:26:59,834 --> 00:27:02,043 What can I do you for, sir? 558 00:27:02,043 --> 00:27:05,209 I need a... sleeping potion. 559 00:27:05,209 --> 00:27:07,418 Yeah, chamomile. Make a draft. 560 00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:09,834 I mean a more... permanent sleep. 561 00:27:10,918 --> 00:27:13,793 No. Sorry. Bugger off. 562 00:27:14,876 --> 00:27:16,501 [barks, sniffs] 563 00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:18,793 [woman] Filthy beast. 564 00:27:18,793 --> 00:27:22,376 Look at the state of ya. Ethian scum! 565 00:27:22,376 --> 00:27:25,793 I'm only a field mouse! [sobbing] 566 00:27:25,793 --> 00:27:28,334 Guards. Where are you taking her? 567 00:27:28,334 --> 00:27:29,418 Guards! 568 00:27:32,376 --> 00:27:33,709 Where are they taking her? 569 00:27:33,709 --> 00:27:35,959 Who cares? She's a beast. 570 00:27:35,959 --> 00:27:37,293 I told you. 571 00:27:37,293 --> 00:27:39,626 - A-About the sleeping draft, I-- - Look, mate. 572 00:27:39,626 --> 00:27:41,501 - Poison is verboten. - [soft whoosh] 573 00:27:41,501 --> 00:27:42,751 Get it? 574 00:27:42,751 --> 00:27:46,043 I don't have it. I don't sell it. I don't even know what it is. 575 00:27:47,626 --> 00:27:49,001 [Edward] Tofana? 576 00:27:50,543 --> 00:27:51,959 It's a poisoner's box. 577 00:27:51,959 --> 00:27:53,459 You nasty little thief. 578 00:27:53,459 --> 00:27:55,084 You filthy little poison merchant. 579 00:27:55,084 --> 00:27:57,918 To whom did you sell this? Was it someone at the Palace? 580 00:28:00,293 --> 00:28:02,001 Tell him or I'll cut your blinking throat. 581 00:28:02,001 --> 00:28:03,543 Fine. 582 00:28:03,543 --> 00:28:06,584 Maybe I sold Tofana here. 583 00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:08,459 S-Some berk in a cloak. 584 00:28:08,459 --> 00:28:10,126 Guy with a creepy ring. 585 00:28:10,126 --> 00:28:12,751 - Looked a bit like an eyeball. - What sort of eyeball? 586 00:28:12,751 --> 00:28:14,251 [grunts] 587 00:28:14,251 --> 00:28:17,459 Get out of here and leave me in peace. 588 00:28:17,459 --> 00:28:18,543 [grunts] 589 00:28:22,668 --> 00:28:24,459 What does that mean? 590 00:28:24,459 --> 00:28:27,376 - It's kind of like "bugger off." - Ah, I see. 591 00:28:28,834 --> 00:28:29,834 Tofana. 592 00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:32,293 - We must get you to Granny. - No, no. 593 00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:35,084 - I need to talk to Jane. - [horse neighs] 594 00:28:37,584 --> 00:28:39,918 [Author] A horse for a husband. 595 00:28:39,918 --> 00:28:43,501 A fucking horse for a husband. 596 00:28:43,501 --> 00:28:45,626 And a lying horse-husband at that. 597 00:28:45,626 --> 00:28:48,251 Jane wants more than ever to escape. 598 00:28:48,251 --> 00:28:51,334 And perhaps, if she hawks her valuable wedding gifts, 599 00:28:51,334 --> 00:28:52,793 she can. 600 00:28:55,959 --> 00:28:57,793 Would you please unlock that? 601 00:28:57,793 --> 00:28:59,834 Oh, no. It's going on honeymoon with you. 602 00:28:59,834 --> 00:29:01,001 Exciting. 603 00:29:01,001 --> 00:29:03,251 There are some gifts that I would like to retrieve. 604 00:29:03,251 --> 00:29:06,251 Your new Lord and master's orders, Milady. 605 00:29:06,251 --> 00:29:08,334 He is not my Lord and master. 606 00:29:09,418 --> 00:29:10,668 [Stan] Greetings, sister. 607 00:29:12,293 --> 00:29:13,834 Salutations, urchin-kicker. 608 00:29:13,834 --> 00:29:16,709 Oh, they love me. How's married life? 609 00:29:16,709 --> 00:29:18,751 [clicking tongue to imitate hoofbeats] 610 00:29:18,751 --> 00:29:20,251 Tallyho. 611 00:29:20,251 --> 00:29:22,168 [whispers] Good luck with that. 612 00:29:22,168 --> 00:29:24,459 This just arrived for you. From His Majesty. 613 00:29:31,251 --> 00:29:33,126 Bit manky, innit? 614 00:29:33,126 --> 00:29:35,709 - We played with it as children. - Exactly. 615 00:29:35,709 --> 00:29:37,001 Manky. 616 00:29:38,709 --> 00:29:40,584 Say hi to your mum for me. 617 00:29:45,918 --> 00:29:48,209 [intriguing music playing] 618 00:29:51,501 --> 00:29:54,876 {\an8}[Author] The note from Edward could only mean one thing. 619 00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:58,584 Jane's fake collapse in the church had forced him to come to his senses 620 00:29:58,584 --> 00:30:01,501 and annul her disaster of a marriage. 621 00:30:01,501 --> 00:30:02,626 [Jane] Edward. 622 00:30:04,084 --> 00:30:07,626 Very definition of cloak and dagger. 623 00:30:10,168 --> 00:30:12,501 - You look better. - Jane... 624 00:30:13,584 --> 00:30:14,918 ...what do you know about poison? 625 00:30:14,918 --> 00:30:17,376 I have this friend, 626 00:30:17,376 --> 00:30:20,126 and he thinks he might have accidentally ingested Tofana. 627 00:30:21,209 --> 00:30:22,501 The Florentine Widowmaker? 628 00:30:22,501 --> 00:30:24,293 Yes. I knew you would know. 629 00:30:24,293 --> 00:30:27,543 You've always been so jolly clever about things like this. 630 00:30:28,793 --> 00:30:30,668 - How bad is it? - Catastrophic. 631 00:30:31,751 --> 00:30:34,251 Tofana is the most lethal substance that there is. 632 00:30:34,251 --> 00:30:36,459 I mean, in large doses, well, it kills you instantly. 633 00:30:36,459 --> 00:30:39,626 In small doses, it creeps into your lungs, seeps into your blood 634 00:30:39,626 --> 00:30:42,459 - until it reaches your heart, and then... - And then? 635 00:30:44,084 --> 00:30:46,001 - You die. - [whimpers] 636 00:30:49,751 --> 00:30:51,459 I know. 637 00:30:51,459 --> 00:30:53,834 I'll stay here for a while and help your poor friend. 638 00:30:53,834 --> 00:30:56,668 Jane, I won't help you abandon your wifely duties. 639 00:30:56,668 --> 00:30:59,001 [sighs] You sound like Guildford. 640 00:30:59,001 --> 00:31:02,001 - He can't be that bad, honestly. - He is that bad. 641 00:31:02,001 --> 00:31:03,543 In fact, he is... 642 00:31:04,876 --> 00:31:06,251 What? 643 00:31:06,251 --> 00:31:08,501 What is he? 644 00:31:08,501 --> 00:31:11,459 You know, you used to be the one person in whom I could confide. 645 00:31:13,043 --> 00:31:16,251 There was nothing we wouldn't do for each other. 646 00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:18,293 Jane, there is so much going on that you don't and cannot know. 647 00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:20,334 - What do I not know? - No, it's none of your concern. 648 00:31:20,334 --> 00:31:23,793 - Gods, why are you being such a prat? - Do not speak to your King like that. 649 00:31:23,793 --> 00:31:28,459 You do realize it doesn't matter how many times you say "King." 650 00:31:28,459 --> 00:31:30,918 - You'll never be your father. - And you're nothing but a wife! 651 00:31:32,334 --> 00:31:34,168 Just Guildford Dudley's property. 652 00:31:35,584 --> 00:31:38,834 [♪ Black Honey: "Beaches"] 653 00:31:38,834 --> 00:31:41,668 ♪ I've been telling you lies ♪ 654 00:31:41,668 --> 00:31:44,501 - ♪ Not so good at the truth ♪ - [barking] 655 00:31:44,501 --> 00:31:47,168 ♪ So I won't have to try ♪ 656 00:31:47,168 --> 00:31:50,626 ♪ Being good for you ♪ 657 00:31:50,626 --> 00:31:53,209 - ♪ Go ♪ - ♪ Girls like the boys ♪ 658 00:31:53,209 --> 00:31:54,501 ♪ When they act like the girls ♪ 659 00:31:54,501 --> 00:31:57,376 ♪ And all they ever wanted was the whole damn world ♪ 660 00:31:57,376 --> 00:32:00,251 ♪ Walking in the wild in a bad black leather ♪ 661 00:32:01,668 --> 00:32:03,251 [song ends] 662 00:32:03,251 --> 00:32:04,626 [burps] Oh. 663 00:32:04,626 --> 00:32:06,959 [sighs] Whale pie. A little gamey. 664 00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:10,459 - Whale. Such a challenge to digest. - I know. 665 00:32:10,459 --> 00:32:12,793 [man] All rise for the King! 666 00:32:14,793 --> 00:32:17,043 [crowd, overlapping] Your Majesty. 667 00:32:19,876 --> 00:32:21,459 [Edward] I call you here today 668 00:32:21,459 --> 00:32:25,751 to impart news that will, I trust, shock you 669 00:32:25,751 --> 00:32:28,209 as much as it shocked me. 670 00:32:28,209 --> 00:32:30,584 I have ascertained that my malaise 671 00:32:30,584 --> 00:32:32,918 is not the Affliction. 672 00:32:34,293 --> 00:32:36,751 It is, in fact, poison. 673 00:32:36,751 --> 00:32:39,043 [crowd gasping, murmuring] 674 00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:44,001 Furthermore, I have reason to believe that my would-be assassin 675 00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:45,584 is somebody at Court. 676 00:32:45,584 --> 00:32:47,876 It could even be one of you. 677 00:32:47,876 --> 00:32:50,459 [crowd gasping, murmuring] 678 00:32:51,543 --> 00:32:56,251 I demand each of you pledge to stop at nothing to find the culprit. 679 00:32:56,251 --> 00:32:59,126 Your Majesty, please, rest assured that-- 680 00:32:59,126 --> 00:33:01,834 We will endeavor to find who's responsible for this. 681 00:33:01,834 --> 00:33:04,959 - We will go to all lengths, and we will not stop until-- - We will not stop. 682 00:33:04,959 --> 00:33:07,334 You must banish any doubt within the royal mind-- 683 00:33:07,334 --> 00:33:09,126 - Every person within this Court-- - I'm still speaking. 684 00:33:09,126 --> 00:33:10,959 [Dudley] This atrocity-- 685 00:33:10,959 --> 00:33:14,001 - We'll solve forthwith. - We'll endeavor to find who's responsible for this. 686 00:33:14,001 --> 00:33:16,543 - We'll go to all lengths-- - There is no length to which we will not go. 687 00:33:16,543 --> 00:33:18,459 - It's as simple as that. It is as simple as that. - It is as simple as that. 688 00:33:18,459 --> 00:33:21,293 - We will find them, Your Majesty. - It is as-- That's enough. That's enough. 689 00:33:22,626 --> 00:33:24,418 If you cannot find the poisoner, 690 00:33:24,418 --> 00:33:26,959 I'll assume you're all treasonous bastards. 691 00:33:26,959 --> 00:33:28,959 [crowd gasping] 692 00:33:28,959 --> 00:33:30,876 And I'll boil you all together. 693 00:33:30,876 --> 00:33:33,751 [crowd gasping, murmuring] 694 00:33:37,751 --> 00:33:41,501 So, without further ado... 695 00:33:42,584 --> 00:33:44,251 ...bugger off! 696 00:33:45,834 --> 00:33:48,501 [Seymour] Delusions of persecution. 697 00:33:48,501 --> 00:33:50,126 The King is losing his wits. 698 00:33:50,126 --> 00:33:52,751 Often happens in the latter stages of the Affliction. 699 00:33:52,751 --> 00:33:54,209 Perhaps you're right. He looked terrible. 700 00:33:54,209 --> 00:33:55,876 Positively waxy. 701 00:33:55,876 --> 00:33:58,084 - Most unpleasant. - Oh, most unpleasant. 702 00:33:58,084 --> 00:34:00,168 Let me look into this poisoning business. 703 00:34:00,168 --> 00:34:01,959 Nothing's more important than the monarchy. 704 00:34:01,959 --> 00:34:03,626 - Quite. - Quite. 705 00:34:03,626 --> 00:34:04,751 Quite. 706 00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:07,126 [Author] When Englishmen truly hate each other, 707 00:34:07,126 --> 00:34:09,459 they will agree profusely. 708 00:34:17,876 --> 00:34:20,209 He knows. The King knows. 709 00:34:20,209 --> 00:34:21,584 The King knows? 710 00:34:23,668 --> 00:34:26,293 You fool. You fool! 711 00:34:26,293 --> 00:34:27,584 I told you! 712 00:34:27,584 --> 00:34:30,376 [whispering] Hush, hush, hush, my love. Someone will hear. 713 00:34:30,376 --> 00:34:33,793 - I think you mean "Your Highness." - Yes, Your Highness. 714 00:34:33,793 --> 00:34:35,043 Your Majesty. 715 00:34:35,043 --> 00:34:37,168 - Maybe in a few days, he'll just-- - No. 716 00:34:37,168 --> 00:34:39,126 We don't have time. 717 00:34:41,709 --> 00:34:43,001 I'm taking charge. 718 00:34:43,001 --> 00:34:44,209 Hmm. 719 00:34:44,209 --> 00:34:46,209 You do exactly as I say. 720 00:34:47,501 --> 00:34:49,334 [tense music playing] 721 00:34:50,334 --> 00:34:51,418 [door opens] 722 00:34:57,876 --> 00:35:00,043 - Stan. - Dad! 723 00:35:00,043 --> 00:35:02,251 Shall we get squiffy and talk about girls? 724 00:35:02,251 --> 00:35:04,126 What? Oh, shut up. Listen to me. 725 00:35:04,126 --> 00:35:06,418 I need you to go to the Chancery. 726 00:35:06,418 --> 00:35:09,043 Find the King's Will for the Succession. 727 00:35:09,043 --> 00:35:11,293 You bring it back to me for safekeeping. 728 00:35:11,293 --> 00:35:12,376 Right now? 729 00:35:12,376 --> 00:35:14,293 Don't "right now" me. 730 00:35:14,293 --> 00:35:17,918 I believe there are powerful forces conspiring against the King, 731 00:35:17,918 --> 00:35:22,584 but I haven't survived a lifetime in Court by picking fights I know I can't win. 732 00:35:22,584 --> 00:35:24,334 - My priority is the monarchy. - [bee buzzing] 733 00:35:24,334 --> 00:35:26,793 We must safeguard the Will. 734 00:35:26,793 --> 00:35:29,751 - Do you understand? - [muffled mumbling] 735 00:35:29,751 --> 00:35:33,043 Whoever gets the crown controls the world. 736 00:35:33,043 --> 00:35:34,959 My future, your future, 737 00:35:34,959 --> 00:35:37,251 Guildford's future. 738 00:35:37,251 --> 00:35:39,501 The entire Kingdom is at stake. 739 00:35:39,501 --> 00:35:41,209 So stand and go. 740 00:35:42,751 --> 00:35:45,084 - Can I get my bun? - I'll get you another bun! 741 00:35:45,084 --> 00:35:47,001 [energetic music playing] 742 00:35:47,001 --> 00:35:49,418 [Author] There are two types of people in the world: 743 00:35:49,418 --> 00:35:53,126 those who lie down and cry for mummy when things get tough 744 00:35:53,126 --> 00:35:56,501 and those who know mummy wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, 745 00:35:56,501 --> 00:35:59,793 so you better jolly well get back up and keep fighting your corner, 746 00:35:59,793 --> 00:36:02,626 because it's the only way you'll survive. 747 00:36:02,626 --> 00:36:03,793 Rupert? 748 00:36:05,168 --> 00:36:06,626 Desperate for a wazz. 749 00:36:06,626 --> 00:36:08,543 Rupert, stop! 750 00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:11,501 Oh, cheers. 751 00:36:11,501 --> 00:36:13,876 We must make haste, Milady. 752 00:36:13,876 --> 00:36:16,584 If either of you want to use the tree, I can watch the horses. 753 00:36:16,584 --> 00:36:18,584 And the husband. [chuckles] 754 00:36:18,584 --> 00:36:19,793 [whinnies] 755 00:36:19,793 --> 00:36:22,126 Ah, I shouldn't. It's, uh, it's not safe. 756 00:36:22,126 --> 00:36:24,418 No, piffle. There's not a soul around. 757 00:36:24,418 --> 00:36:26,418 - Go on. - Thank you, Milady. 758 00:36:26,418 --> 00:36:28,709 Peter, let's take a slash. 759 00:36:37,043 --> 00:36:38,834 [man] Hello! I say, I'm terribly sorry. 760 00:36:38,834 --> 00:36:40,626 My groom dropped down dead, wasn't it a bother, 761 00:36:40,626 --> 00:36:42,959 my steed absconded into the night, I'm dreadfully hungry, 762 00:36:42,959 --> 00:36:45,043 and I'm afraid I find myself forced to rob you to survive. 763 00:36:45,043 --> 00:36:47,459 - So open the fucking chest, lambkins! - [neighs] 764 00:36:47,459 --> 00:36:50,043 Open it. I've got a stick, and I'm not afraid to use it. 765 00:36:50,043 --> 00:36:51,668 - Come on! Open the chest! - [neighing continues] 766 00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:54,001 Open it! Open the chest now! 767 00:36:54,001 --> 00:36:55,293 Yes! 768 00:36:58,793 --> 00:37:00,751 There's nothing but books. 769 00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:03,543 It's literature. There are no valuables in here at all. 770 00:37:03,543 --> 00:37:05,918 Looks like the only valuable here is you. 771 00:37:05,918 --> 00:37:08,126 - Don't touch me! - [neighing] 772 00:37:12,751 --> 00:37:14,709 Ever! 773 00:37:14,709 --> 00:37:16,584 - Okay! - [Jane] Bastard! 774 00:37:16,584 --> 00:37:18,751 - How dare you! - Ow! 775 00:37:18,751 --> 00:37:19,834 [neighing] 776 00:37:21,043 --> 00:37:22,084 [grunting] 777 00:37:22,084 --> 00:37:23,584 [bleating] 778 00:37:23,584 --> 00:37:24,793 [Rupert] Ethian scum. 779 00:37:25,918 --> 00:37:28,626 Lady Jane, are you hurt? 780 00:37:28,626 --> 00:37:31,584 - I'm fine. - Oh, thank the gods. 781 00:37:31,584 --> 00:37:34,793 Lady Jane, let's go. Before more of 'em come back to murder us. 782 00:37:34,793 --> 00:37:37,459 [Jane] "Quam Ut Rememdium Bestia." 783 00:37:39,334 --> 00:37:40,793 [whinnies] 784 00:37:40,793 --> 00:37:42,543 How interesting. 785 00:37:43,543 --> 00:37:45,126 [whimsical music playing] 786 00:37:53,668 --> 00:37:54,793 I must see Lady Frances. 787 00:37:57,876 --> 00:38:00,376 Oh. It's you. I told you-- 788 00:38:00,376 --> 00:38:03,334 King Edward's Will for the Succession, it's missing. 789 00:38:03,334 --> 00:38:05,709 What do you mean? 790 00:38:05,709 --> 00:38:08,043 Dad sent me to the Chancery, and it's gone. 791 00:38:08,043 --> 00:38:10,001 It's missing. Stolen. 792 00:38:11,418 --> 00:38:14,334 - I'm so stressed. Can I come in? - No. 793 00:38:14,334 --> 00:38:18,834 Well, Dad will freak out when I tell him. I-I didn't know where else to go. 794 00:38:18,834 --> 00:38:19,918 Frances. 795 00:38:21,126 --> 00:38:22,251 What does it mean? 796 00:38:22,251 --> 00:38:25,501 It means... we're all fucked. 797 00:38:25,501 --> 00:38:27,543 [upbeat music playing] 798 00:38:34,251 --> 00:38:35,459 Are you cheating? 799 00:38:35,459 --> 00:38:36,918 Yes. [giggles] 800 00:38:36,918 --> 00:38:38,043 [knocking on door] 801 00:38:38,043 --> 00:38:39,626 - [Edward] Come in. - [soft whoosh] 802 00:38:40,626 --> 00:38:41,668 [Petunia barks] 803 00:38:41,668 --> 00:38:44,418 Your Royal Highness, King Edward, Defender of the Realm. 804 00:38:44,418 --> 00:38:45,501 Just get on with it. 805 00:38:46,793 --> 00:38:48,584 It brings me both joy and pain 806 00:38:48,584 --> 00:38:53,209 to tell you that I have ascertained the identity of your poisoner. 807 00:38:54,209 --> 00:38:56,168 [suspenseful music playing] 808 00:38:57,584 --> 00:38:58,918 Lord Dudley. 809 00:39:00,126 --> 00:39:01,918 Huh? What? [coughs] 810 00:39:01,918 --> 00:39:03,543 - [sputters] - Your plan was clear. 811 00:39:03,543 --> 00:39:06,626 - You betrayed your Kingdom. You betrayed your-- - Lies! Your Majesty, I am the most loyal-- 812 00:39:06,626 --> 00:39:08,501 What on earth are you doing?! 813 00:39:08,501 --> 00:39:11,709 {\an8}What are you looking for, man?! I mean, get your-- [gasps] 814 00:39:11,709 --> 00:39:13,834 {\an8}Tofana. A poisoner's box. 815 00:39:13,834 --> 00:39:15,626 - [barking] - That's not mine! 816 00:39:17,918 --> 00:39:21,793 You tried to murder my baby brother? You treasonous vermin. 817 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:23,793 - [Mary yelling] - [Dudley groaning] 818 00:39:25,209 --> 00:39:26,376 [barking] 819 00:39:26,376 --> 00:39:29,668 - Desist beating me! - Arrest Lord Dudley. 820 00:39:29,668 --> 00:39:32,084 Lock him up in the Tower of London. 821 00:39:32,751 --> 00:39:35,209 No. No. Sire, you are mistaken. 822 00:39:35,209 --> 00:39:36,543 - I'm innocent! - [coughing] 823 00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:38,168 You're making a grave error! 824 00:39:38,168 --> 00:39:39,959 Get your mucky hands off me! 825 00:39:39,959 --> 00:39:42,126 - No! - [barking continues] 826 00:39:42,126 --> 00:39:46,043 Shut that dog up, or I'll shut it up for you. 827 00:39:48,168 --> 00:39:50,293 Here, brother, take my cozy cloak. 828 00:39:50,293 --> 00:39:51,418 You need peace. 829 00:39:51,418 --> 00:39:53,043 [Petunia whines] 830 00:39:53,043 --> 00:39:55,459 We must move you to the North Turret. 831 00:39:59,418 --> 00:40:00,626 The eye ring. 832 00:40:00,626 --> 00:40:02,626 [Edward] To whom did you sell Tofana? 833 00:40:02,626 --> 00:40:06,293 [flower girl] Guy with a creepy ring. Looked a bit like an eyeball. 834 00:40:11,293 --> 00:40:13,251 - [horses neigh] - [dramatic music playing] 835 00:40:18,376 --> 00:40:21,209 [Author] Smuggling esoteric books on honeymoon 836 00:40:21,209 --> 00:40:24,418 is a jolly odd move for a renowned scoundrel. 837 00:40:25,584 --> 00:40:29,126 Despite being thwarted again in her attempts to escape marriage, 838 00:40:29,126 --> 00:40:33,918 Jane is suddenly rather intrigued. 839 00:40:43,501 --> 00:40:44,918 [Jane clears throat] 840 00:40:44,918 --> 00:40:46,418 Tired after the journey? 841 00:40:46,418 --> 00:40:48,584 Oh, no. 842 00:40:48,584 --> 00:40:50,918 Boundless energy, horses. 843 00:40:52,209 --> 00:40:53,918 Is that supposed to be funny? 844 00:40:53,918 --> 00:40:57,043 To be fair, I did try and warn you about the horse thing. 845 00:40:57,043 --> 00:41:00,584 That is not how I remember it. We need to talk. 846 00:41:00,584 --> 00:41:04,293 Your father told me that you can't control your change. Why? 847 00:41:04,293 --> 00:41:07,334 Ethians can switch back and forth whenever they want. What's wrong with you? 848 00:41:08,584 --> 00:41:10,084 I don't know. 849 00:41:10,084 --> 00:41:12,543 And why did you swap our wedding gifts with books? 850 00:41:12,543 --> 00:41:13,959 I suggest you bring the wine. 851 00:41:21,334 --> 00:41:23,001 "Das Biest Beenden." 852 00:41:23,001 --> 00:41:25,251 They're all about curing Ethianism. 853 00:41:25,251 --> 00:41:27,876 Yes, it's become something of a hobby of mine. 854 00:41:27,876 --> 00:41:29,001 For obvious reasons. 855 00:41:29,001 --> 00:41:31,751 Latin, Italian, Greek. 856 00:41:34,251 --> 00:41:36,751 Is that Aramaic? You speak Aramaic? 857 00:41:36,751 --> 00:41:38,376 No. 858 00:41:38,376 --> 00:41:41,251 My father says you're very smart, that you're a polyglot. 859 00:41:41,251 --> 00:41:43,334 Correctomundo. 860 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,376 - It's Italian. - And that you also know the medical arts 861 00:41:45,376 --> 00:41:47,043 and you make these little cures and things. 862 00:41:47,043 --> 00:41:48,459 Patronizing, but yes. 863 00:41:48,459 --> 00:41:50,043 [Guildford sighs] 864 00:41:51,043 --> 00:41:53,043 I am hoping 865 00:41:53,043 --> 00:41:57,501 that you can use the knowledge in these books to cure me. 866 00:41:59,834 --> 00:42:01,959 So you married me for my brain? 867 00:42:07,501 --> 00:42:09,084 Look, I've read about Ethian cures, of course. 868 00:42:09,084 --> 00:42:11,126 I just always assumed that they were myths. 869 00:42:11,126 --> 00:42:13,043 You know, John of Damascus said that 870 00:42:13,043 --> 00:42:16,001 it would be like curing the sea of being the sea, the earth of being the earth. 871 00:42:16,001 --> 00:42:17,626 John was also burned for blasphemy. 872 00:42:17,626 --> 00:42:19,709 The ancients thought it was possible. 873 00:42:19,709 --> 00:42:22,043 Petronius with versipellis, 874 00:42:22,043 --> 00:42:24,626 though his research was lost to time. 875 00:42:26,043 --> 00:42:27,959 - So will you do it? - The thing is, Guildford... 876 00:42:30,668 --> 00:42:31,668 What? 877 00:42:32,751 --> 00:42:34,543 You've never said my name before. 878 00:42:38,293 --> 00:42:39,334 [Jane stammers] 879 00:42:39,334 --> 00:42:41,501 [clears throat] What if I can't do it? 880 00:42:41,501 --> 00:42:43,084 What then? 881 00:42:43,084 --> 00:42:46,668 All I'm asking is that you try. 882 00:42:46,668 --> 00:42:48,626 Please, Jane. 883 00:42:48,626 --> 00:42:51,001 I don't want to live like this. 884 00:42:52,251 --> 00:42:53,584 Neither do I. 885 00:42:56,501 --> 00:42:58,168 This marriage was never my desire. 886 00:42:58,168 --> 00:42:59,751 Then what is your desire? 887 00:43:00,834 --> 00:43:02,126 Independence. 888 00:43:02,126 --> 00:43:03,251 So a divorce? 889 00:43:04,959 --> 00:43:06,459 How modern. 890 00:43:07,543 --> 00:43:08,543 Fine. 891 00:43:09,626 --> 00:43:12,168 You find me my cure, and this marriage is over. 892 00:43:12,168 --> 00:43:14,084 [hopeful music playing] 893 00:43:16,668 --> 00:43:17,709 Jane. 894 00:43:21,626 --> 00:43:22,834 Please. 895 00:43:25,376 --> 00:43:26,834 I need this. 896 00:43:30,251 --> 00:43:32,168 Never tell me to obey you again. 897 00:43:33,626 --> 00:43:34,626 Never. 898 00:43:34,626 --> 00:43:36,084 Promise. 899 00:43:38,584 --> 00:43:39,626 I do. 900 00:43:41,418 --> 00:43:44,084 [♪ Charlotte Gainsbourg: "Trick Pony"] 901 00:43:46,209 --> 00:43:47,709 ♪ Train, train... ♪ 902 00:43:47,709 --> 00:43:49,709 - Jane, one last thing. - Yes? 903 00:43:49,709 --> 00:43:52,209 Obviously, I know you'd rather not be husband and wife, 904 00:43:52,209 --> 00:43:55,251 so you needn't worry about, um, marital obligations. 905 00:43:55,251 --> 00:43:56,543 Oh. 906 00:43:56,543 --> 00:43:58,751 Yes, good. I'm glad we can be friends. 907 00:43:58,751 --> 00:44:00,376 Yes. 908 00:44:00,376 --> 00:44:01,751 Friends. 909 00:44:03,376 --> 00:44:04,751 This is you. 910 00:44:06,918 --> 00:44:08,626 ♪ X X the eyes ♪ 911 00:44:08,626 --> 00:44:11,459 ♪ C. C. Rider riding ♪ 912 00:44:11,459 --> 00:44:14,084 ♪ On the morning tide ♪ 913 00:44:14,084 --> 00:44:15,959 ♪ To the fall horizon... ♪ 914 00:44:15,959 --> 00:44:17,459 I'll start my research tomorrow. 915 00:44:18,751 --> 00:44:19,834 Thank you. 916 00:44:21,709 --> 00:44:23,543 Guildford. 917 00:44:25,043 --> 00:44:26,376 Yes? 918 00:44:30,709 --> 00:44:32,584 - Sleep well. - [song stops abruptly] 919 00:44:32,584 --> 00:44:33,793 You, too. Good night. 920 00:44:33,793 --> 00:44:34,876 - Good night. - Good night. 921 00:44:34,876 --> 00:44:36,501 [Guildford clears throat] 922 00:44:37,959 --> 00:44:39,959 [dramatic music playing] 923 00:44:42,293 --> 00:44:44,543 - [thunder crashes] - [panting] 924 00:44:44,543 --> 00:44:45,751 Petunia? 925 00:44:46,834 --> 00:44:48,584 Guards? 926 00:44:48,584 --> 00:44:50,251 Servants? Anyone? 927 00:44:50,251 --> 00:44:52,001 - [Mary] He's my brother. I'll do it. - [Seymour] Yes, yes, dear. 928 00:44:53,376 --> 00:44:57,251 [Author] It was Princess Mary and Seymour coming to kill him. 929 00:44:58,334 --> 00:44:59,501 Eddie? 930 00:44:59,501 --> 00:45:01,043 - Eddie? - [grunts] 931 00:45:02,251 --> 00:45:03,584 [wind howling] 932 00:45:05,543 --> 00:45:08,501 - [loud knocking continues] - I'm coming in! Eddie! 933 00:45:08,501 --> 00:45:10,043 Eddie! It's only me. 934 00:45:10,043 --> 00:45:13,793 I need to talk to you. 935 00:45:13,793 --> 00:45:15,459 Eddie! 936 00:45:15,459 --> 00:45:16,626 [loud banging] 937 00:45:18,084 --> 00:45:19,626 Where is he? 938 00:45:19,626 --> 00:45:21,626 [Seymour] He must be here. 939 00:45:21,626 --> 00:45:23,251 Your Majesty?! 940 00:45:23,251 --> 00:45:24,626 Your Highness?! 941 00:45:27,126 --> 00:45:28,334 - [frustrated grunt] - [Mary] He's gone. 942 00:45:28,334 --> 00:45:31,126 The door was bolted. A dozen guards stationed below. 943 00:45:31,126 --> 00:45:33,418 There's no other way out this room except-- 944 00:45:33,418 --> 00:45:34,668 [thunder rumbling] 945 00:45:36,084 --> 00:45:38,334 He must have fallen trying to escape. 946 00:45:38,334 --> 00:45:40,334 Edward is dead. 947 00:45:41,959 --> 00:45:46,043 [laughing] Edward is dead! 948 00:45:46,043 --> 00:45:48,668 [laughing hysterically] 949 00:45:48,668 --> 00:45:50,751 [dramatic music playing] 950 00:45:58,251 --> 00:46:00,251 {\an8}♪ ♪ 951 00:46:30,043 --> 00:46:32,043 {\an8}♪ ♪ 952 00:47:01,084 --> 00:47:02,584 {\an8}♪ ♪ 953 00:47:31,043 --> 00:47:33,043 {\an8}♪ ♪ 954 00:47:44,709 --> 00:47:46,501 {\an8}[music fades]