1 00:00:25,046 --> 00:00:26,965 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:27,048 --> 00:00:29,426 (cheering, applause) 3 00:00:29,509 --> 00:00:32,304 WOMAN (over speakers): Get on your feet right now. 4 00:00:32,387 --> 00:00:34,806 -Come on, now. -(crowd cheering) 5 00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:39,603 The recipient of the 2019 Lifetime Achievement Award... 6 00:00:39,686 --> 00:00:41,813 DANYEL SMITH: Nominated for 31 Grammys. 7 00:00:41,897 --> 00:00:43,857 MAN: A double Oscar nominee this morning. 8 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:45,859 QUEEN LATIFAH: She is a global superstar 9 00:00:45,942 --> 00:00:50,655 who has won nine Grammy Awards and sold over 50 million albums. 10 00:00:50,739 --> 00:00:52,699 ANDRE HARRELL: Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 11 00:00:52,783 --> 00:00:55,452 LL COOL J: She created a new national anthem for women. 12 00:00:55,535 --> 00:00:59,623 WOMAN: The undeniable queen of hip-hop and R&B, 13 00:00:59,706 --> 00:01:01,625 Mary J. Blige! 14 00:01:01,708 --> 00:01:03,502 (cheering continues) 15 00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:09,382 -(camera flash echoes) -(cheering fades) 16 00:01:11,968 --> 00:01:13,386 MAN: All right. 17 00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:15,180 Perfect. 18 00:01:15,263 --> 00:01:17,015 MARY: It feels really good 19 00:01:17,098 --> 00:01:19,893 to be at this point in my career and have done so much, 20 00:01:19,976 --> 00:01:22,479 between music, TV, philanthropy. 21 00:01:22,562 --> 00:01:24,523 Get that chin up a little bit more. 22 00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:26,650 Nice. Bring that face around for me right here. 23 00:01:26,733 --> 00:01:30,320 MARY: I’ve done pretty much everything 24 00:01:30,403 --> 00:01:32,739 that I’ve-I’ve always wanted to do. 25 00:01:32,823 --> 00:01:35,450 Nice. Stay right there, Mary. 26 00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:41,039 MARY: But success comes when you are successful inside. 27 00:01:41,122 --> 00:01:44,209 For a long time, I didn’t know I was successful outside 28 00:01:44,292 --> 00:01:47,712 because I was a-a wreck inside. 29 00:01:47,796 --> 00:01:50,924 Because, when I was growing up in the neighborhood we lived in, 30 00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:52,759 it was like, "You better not dream it. 31 00:01:52,843 --> 00:01:54,761 You better not hope it." 32 00:01:56,012 --> 00:02:00,517 And so my mission has been to actually help women 33 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,729 to believe in themself and help, you know, help myself 34 00:02:04,813 --> 00:02:07,357 believe in myself and live out things 35 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,901 and let people, especially women, 36 00:02:09,985 --> 00:02:11,653 see how I come through ’em. 37 00:02:14,739 --> 00:02:16,491 -(indistinct chatter) -(man whoops) 38 00:02:16,575 --> 00:02:18,577 ♪ ♪ 39 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:29,004 I have 13 albums, but my second album, My Life, 40 00:02:29,087 --> 00:02:31,715 is the most important because there was a lot in me, 41 00:02:31,798 --> 00:02:33,216 and there was a lot wrong, 42 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,969 and there was a lot I needed to get out. 43 00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:43,184 (lively chatter) 44 00:02:45,604 --> 00:02:49,566 The My Life album was probably my darkest album 45 00:02:49,649 --> 00:02:51,985 at one of the darkest time in my life. 46 00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:55,155 I’ve had plenty dark times, though, since then, 47 00:02:55,238 --> 00:02:58,533 but this was like a turning point. 48 00:02:58,617 --> 00:03:02,829 This was a decision I had to make, either live or die. 49 00:03:02,913 --> 00:03:04,414 Most of the times, I was just depressed 50 00:03:04,497 --> 00:03:08,126 and didn’t want to live because I didn’t love myself. 51 00:03:08,209 --> 00:03:10,420 (crowd cheering) 52 00:03:10,503 --> 00:03:14,299 I didn’t know that so many people felt the same way. 53 00:03:15,342 --> 00:03:16,843 -How you doing, sweetie? -How you doing? 54 00:03:16,927 --> 00:03:18,345 -I’m good. How are you? -How you doing? 55 00:03:18,428 --> 00:03:20,847 MARY: This album was very important to them, 56 00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:24,225 and they make me remember that I’m not the only one 57 00:03:24,309 --> 00:03:26,061 going through the things that I’m going through. 58 00:03:26,144 --> 00:03:27,520 -You’re my inspiration. -Thank you. 59 00:03:27,604 --> 00:03:28,730 Thank you so much for everything. 60 00:03:28,813 --> 00:03:30,106 Oh, you’re welcome, baby. 61 00:03:30,190 --> 00:03:32,192 (crowd cheering) 62 00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:36,780 MARY: Thank you so much 63 00:03:36,863 --> 00:03:39,157 for all this love. 64 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,117 (cheering continues) 65 00:03:41,201 --> 00:03:43,620 Y’all know how real it is. 66 00:03:43,703 --> 00:03:46,706 My life is real, real, real. 67 00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:48,416 And this is just filling me up. 68 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,210 Thank you so much. 69 00:03:50,293 --> 00:03:52,295 (cheering continues) 70 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:57,592 WOMAN: (whoops) Mary! 71 00:04:01,888 --> 00:04:03,348 SEAN COMBS: Her vulnerability 72 00:04:03,431 --> 00:04:06,893 and her courageousness to share, um, 73 00:04:06,977 --> 00:04:09,854 for me, for my daughters, that’s what I want them to see. 74 00:04:09,938 --> 00:04:12,607 I want them to see that they can express theirselves. 75 00:04:12,691 --> 00:04:16,611 Her image, you know, her story, how she tells it, 76 00:04:16,695 --> 00:04:20,573 so raw, so vulnerable, so bold 77 00:04:20,657 --> 00:04:24,160 and unafraid to be who she is, 78 00:04:24,244 --> 00:04:28,039 she made it okay for people to say, "It’s all right to be me." 79 00:04:28,123 --> 00:04:29,958 (crowd cheering) 80 00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:32,877 MARY: And I always wanted to see women do better, 81 00:04:32,961 --> 00:04:36,423 be stronger, be beautiful, believe in themselves. 82 00:04:36,506 --> 00:04:38,550 (cheering continues) 83 00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:41,845 It’s been 25 years since I put the My Life album out 84 00:04:41,928 --> 00:04:44,931 and I started speaking to my fans. 85 00:04:46,141 --> 00:04:49,227 And it’s a place where I survived. 86 00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:54,274 So it’s, um, it’s very important to be here to tell that story. 87 00:04:54,357 --> 00:04:56,359 (cheering continues) 88 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,239 (cheering fades) 89 00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:03,324 ♪ ♪ 90 00:05:07,328 --> 00:05:13,460 ♪ Life can be only what you make it ♪ 91 00:05:13,543 --> 00:05:15,879 ♪ When you’re feeling down ♪ 92 00:05:15,962 --> 00:05:19,632 ♪ You should never fake it ♪ 93 00:05:19,716 --> 00:05:22,510 ♪ Say what’s on your mind ♪ 94 00:05:22,594 --> 00:05:27,015 ♪ And you’ll find, in time ♪ 95 00:05:27,098 --> 00:05:31,311 ♪ That all the negative energy ♪ 96 00:05:31,394 --> 00:05:35,857 ♪ It would all cease ♪ 97 00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:39,736 ♪ And you’ll be at peace with yourself ♪ 98 00:05:39,819 --> 00:05:42,322 ♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪ 99 00:05:42,405 --> 00:05:48,620 ♪ You won’t really need no one else ♪ 100 00:05:48,703 --> 00:05:54,918 ♪ Except for the man up above, yeah ♪ 101 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:59,923 ♪ Because he’ll give you love ♪ 102 00:06:00,006 --> 00:06:02,008 (vocalizing) 103 00:06:05,053 --> 00:06:07,514 ♪ If you looked into my life ♪ 104 00:06:07,597 --> 00:06:11,351 ♪ If you looked in my life and see what I’ve seen... ♪ 105 00:06:11,434 --> 00:06:14,437 ("Everybody Loves the Sunshine" by Roy Ayers Ubiquity playing) 106 00:06:19,859 --> 00:06:22,612 ♪ My life, my life, my life, my life ♪ 107 00:06:22,695 --> 00:06:24,364 ♪ In the sunshine... ♪ 108 00:06:26,324 --> 00:06:28,243 MARY: The My Life journey started with 109 00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:31,913 "Everybody Loves the Sunshine" by Roy Ayers. 110 00:06:31,996 --> 00:06:33,998 I don’t know what’s in that record, 111 00:06:34,082 --> 00:06:35,625 but there was something in it 112 00:06:35,708 --> 00:06:39,254 that just cracked open everything in me. 113 00:06:39,337 --> 00:06:42,298 ♪ Everybody loves the sunshine... ♪ 114 00:06:42,382 --> 00:06:46,511 That was the first music, as a child, that stuck with me... 115 00:06:46,594 --> 00:06:47,720 ♪ Sunshine... ♪ 116 00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:49,305 ...because it made me forget 117 00:06:49,389 --> 00:06:50,974 that we lived where we lived. 118 00:06:51,057 --> 00:06:54,102 ♪ Folks get down in the sunshine... ♪ 119 00:06:57,522 --> 00:07:01,693 That sound used to just drive me nuts. 120 00:07:01,776 --> 00:07:04,154 MARY: ♪ My life, my life, my life, my life ♪ 121 00:07:04,237 --> 00:07:06,114 ♪ In the sunshine ♪ 122 00:07:09,868 --> 00:07:12,954 It’s something about "in the sunshine," I-- 123 00:07:13,037 --> 00:07:15,206 -"my life in the sunshine." -(song fades) 124 00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:17,667 Just made me want to... 125 00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,627 (voice breaking): that record made me... 126 00:07:19,711 --> 00:07:21,004 I’m sorry. 127 00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:23,339 That record made me feel 128 00:07:23,423 --> 00:07:27,510 something like-like I-I could have something. 129 00:07:27,594 --> 00:07:29,012 But I couldn’t get my hands on it, 130 00:07:29,095 --> 00:07:31,514 but like I could have something. 131 00:07:31,598 --> 00:07:35,435 "My life in the sunshine" was something I wanted. 132 00:07:35,518 --> 00:07:37,520 ♪ ♪ 133 00:07:47,739 --> 00:07:49,324 This is where we was 134 00:07:49,407 --> 00:07:51,492 -when I first heard that song. -Wow. -Yeah. 135 00:07:51,576 --> 00:07:53,661 -This little girl is the person that heard that song. -No. 136 00:07:53,745 --> 00:07:55,288 -Yeah. -That’s what Daddy listened to. 137 00:07:55,371 --> 00:07:56,831 -Yeah. -Mm-hmm. 138 00:07:56,915 --> 00:08:01,085 Dad was about that music life, and he made sure we d-digest 139 00:08:01,169 --> 00:08:06,591 every kind of music he loved or he liked. 140 00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:08,426 -Both of them, him and Mommy. -My dad had 141 00:08:08,509 --> 00:08:10,386 -Grateful Dead albums. -Yeah, rock. 142 00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:12,764 Like, we would go look at his music, and it’d be 143 00:08:12,847 --> 00:08:14,557 all types of shit in there. (chuckles) 144 00:08:14,641 --> 00:08:16,601 -Be heavy funk and rock and roll. -(laughs) 145 00:08:16,684 --> 00:08:18,728 Like, I was like, "Heavy funk and rock and roll? 146 00:08:18,811 --> 00:08:20,021 -"What is this? -(laughter) 147 00:08:20,104 --> 00:08:21,272 -What is this stuff?" -Yeah. 148 00:08:21,356 --> 00:08:23,399 -That’s what Daddy listened to. Yeah. -Yeah. 149 00:08:23,483 --> 00:08:24,943 XENOS: That’s what molded and shaped you 150 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,236 into what you do today. 151 00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:28,571 The influences in your past, your roots. 152 00:08:28,655 --> 00:08:29,697 -Mm-hmm. -Yes. 153 00:08:29,781 --> 00:08:31,658 -Yeah. -MARY: Wait. Yeah, this isn’t-- 154 00:08:31,741 --> 00:08:32,992 -This is Hastings. -LaTONYA: Hastings. 155 00:08:33,076 --> 00:08:34,827 -Wow. -MARY: I was four, and LaTonya was five. 156 00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:37,622 And when we was about seven, we moved to Schlobohm. -Schlobohm. 157 00:08:37,705 --> 00:08:39,707 ♪ ♪ 158 00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:43,378 MARY: My parents had gotten divorced, 159 00:08:43,461 --> 00:08:47,507 and my dad, he was my-my friend, you know? 160 00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:48,967 I really loved him. 161 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:52,595 And so, when he was gone, it was very sad for me. 162 00:08:54,097 --> 00:08:56,474 We moved to a violent environment, 163 00:08:56,557 --> 00:08:58,518 and it was rough for my mom, 164 00:08:58,601 --> 00:09:01,813 as a single-parent mom trying to raise two girls. 165 00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:05,275 -Mommy. My mom. -My beautiful mother. 166 00:09:05,358 --> 00:09:08,361 MARY: Although we had love, my mom and my sister and I, 167 00:09:08,444 --> 00:09:10,154 from the first day we moved there, 168 00:09:10,238 --> 00:09:12,073 we had to fight the kids in the neighborhood. 169 00:09:12,156 --> 00:09:16,577 And in that environment, I don’t know how she did it. 170 00:09:16,661 --> 00:09:19,539 She was a nurse and wanted to take care of her family. 171 00:09:19,622 --> 00:09:20,623 But she sang, too. 172 00:09:20,707 --> 00:09:22,125 My mother used to sing around the house 173 00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:24,627 and... dance and everything, 174 00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:27,505 so that’s why Mary get all her little dances. 175 00:09:27,588 --> 00:09:29,590 ("Clean Up Woman" by Betty Wright playing) 176 00:09:30,842 --> 00:09:33,261 She would play The Staple Singers 177 00:09:33,344 --> 00:09:35,763 and Gladys Knight or Aretha Franklin 178 00:09:35,847 --> 00:09:38,433 and walk around the house singing "The Clean Up Woman." 179 00:09:38,516 --> 00:09:40,685 ♪ ♪ 180 00:09:40,768 --> 00:09:43,396 ♪ A cleanup woman ♪ 181 00:09:43,479 --> 00:09:45,732 ♪ Is a woman who ♪ 182 00:09:45,815 --> 00:09:50,320 ♪ Gets all the love we girls leave behind... ♪ 183 00:09:50,403 --> 00:09:52,864 MARY: Anything my mom did, she would sound just like ’em, 184 00:09:52,947 --> 00:09:55,366 and she was so beautiful to me. 185 00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:58,119 I just always wanted to be her. I wanted to look like her. 186 00:09:58,202 --> 00:09:59,704 I wanted to sing the way she did. 187 00:09:59,787 --> 00:10:02,457 ♪ So take a tip, you better get hip... ♪ 188 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:05,043 I would go to the mirror with a brush and sing 189 00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,587 and try to mimic anybody my mother listened to. 190 00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,297 ♪ She’s tough ♪ 191 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,382 ♪ I mean, she really cleans up. ♪ 192 00:10:11,466 --> 00:10:13,551 (applause) 193 00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:15,219 (song fades) 194 00:10:15,303 --> 00:10:16,679 ♪ ♪ 195 00:10:16,763 --> 00:10:18,514 But it wasn’t like I was running around, 196 00:10:18,598 --> 00:10:20,058 telling everybody I was gonna be a singer. 197 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:23,811 I would just sing loud, just sing. 198 00:10:26,189 --> 00:10:30,568 But I didn’t dream big or think for a moment that it was like, 199 00:10:30,651 --> 00:10:32,695 "Okay, I’m gonna be this big star," 200 00:10:32,779 --> 00:10:36,199 because our environment didn’t tell us that. 201 00:10:36,282 --> 00:10:38,951 Our environment told us that this is it. 202 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:44,415 I was the little girl that looked at certain artists 203 00:10:44,499 --> 00:10:46,334 and certain things on commercials 204 00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:48,002 and television shows and movies 205 00:10:48,086 --> 00:10:51,506 and wish that I had certain things. 206 00:10:51,589 --> 00:10:53,466 But in that neighborhood, 207 00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,843 someone will get jealous or mad at you for having something, 208 00:10:55,927 --> 00:10:57,261 you know? 209 00:10:57,345 --> 00:10:59,806 For having a smile, for having a dream. 210 00:11:03,142 --> 00:11:06,270 If I was ever dreaming, I didn’t dream anymore, 211 00:11:06,354 --> 00:11:08,064 especially when we became teenagers. 212 00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,733 It just got worse, so I said, 213 00:11:10,817 --> 00:11:13,569 "I’m not gonna let these people see me smiling too much. 214 00:11:13,653 --> 00:11:15,238 Matter of fact, they’re never gonna see me smiling." 215 00:11:15,321 --> 00:11:17,865 I never smiled when I was a teenager. 216 00:11:19,617 --> 00:11:21,369 I think people don’t understand, 217 00:11:21,452 --> 00:11:23,746 about the families that live in the projects, 218 00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:25,123 is that it’s like prison. 219 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,792 It’s like a prison inside a prison inside a prison. 220 00:11:30,545 --> 00:11:34,590 It’s people hurting people, hurting each other. 221 00:11:36,551 --> 00:11:39,137 People are just, like, suffering. 222 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:42,640 And the men were so horrible towards women. 223 00:11:42,723 --> 00:11:46,436 I remember hearing women being beaten. 224 00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:49,313 My mother was one of those women, 225 00:11:49,397 --> 00:11:50,857 so I remember her pain. 226 00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:53,359 I carried her pain. I carried the neighbor’s pain. 227 00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:57,280 I carried people all over the environment’s pain. 228 00:11:57,363 --> 00:11:59,782 And I carried my own pain. 229 00:12:03,035 --> 00:12:05,288 -♪ I didn’t ask to come here ♪ -(applause) 230 00:12:05,371 --> 00:12:07,540 ♪ I didn’t ask to get treated badly ♪ 231 00:12:07,623 --> 00:12:09,584 ♪ I didn’t ask to get molested ♪ 232 00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:11,544 ♪ I didn’t ask to get knocked, too ♪ 233 00:12:11,627 --> 00:12:14,005 ♪ I didn’t ask to get knocked up ♪ 234 00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:17,133 ♪ Daddy, Daddy ♪ 235 00:12:17,216 --> 00:12:19,677 ♪ Daddy, why? ♪ 236 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,554 ♪ Why did you leave us? ♪ 237 00:12:21,637 --> 00:12:24,682 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 238 00:12:24,765 --> 00:12:27,310 ♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪ 239 00:12:27,393 --> 00:12:29,437 Growing up in an environment like that, 240 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,773 there were so many things that could happen to a little girl, 241 00:12:32,857 --> 00:12:35,610 and you just turned to anything that can numb you 242 00:12:35,693 --> 00:12:38,112 from feeling sad, from feeling depressed, 243 00:12:38,196 --> 00:12:40,031 from feeling hatred, from feeling self-hate, 244 00:12:40,114 --> 00:12:41,616 just so much. 245 00:12:41,699 --> 00:12:43,326 So you turn to substance abuse. 246 00:12:43,409 --> 00:12:46,871 You turn to whatever makes you feel good. 247 00:12:46,954 --> 00:12:48,623 And that’s what we did. We drank. 248 00:12:48,706 --> 00:12:50,708 We went to the pier, my friends Mushie and Pidgey, 249 00:12:50,791 --> 00:12:54,921 and we would go to the pier, and we would drink our pain away. 250 00:12:56,839 --> 00:12:59,300 Because I don’t even understand why we’re living here. 251 00:12:59,383 --> 00:13:01,802 How did we get here? We’re not supposed to be here. 252 00:13:01,886 --> 00:13:03,513 My mom is not supposed to be struggling. 253 00:13:03,596 --> 00:13:05,806 She’s not supposed to be by herself. 254 00:13:07,099 --> 00:13:10,353 She’s not supposed to be a woman in this environment 255 00:13:10,436 --> 00:13:11,854 going through this hell. 256 00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:16,108 Singing was the escape for me. 257 00:13:16,192 --> 00:13:18,736 ♪ ♪ 258 00:13:18,819 --> 00:13:22,907 Singing made me forget that we were struggling so much. 259 00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,618 It just made me forget 260 00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,537 that I was going through what I was going through. 261 00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:30,373 Even as a little girl, I was-- had insecurities, 262 00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:32,625 and I was always blue and always sad, 263 00:13:32,708 --> 00:13:35,419 but singing made me feel free. 264 00:13:35,503 --> 00:13:37,630 And that’s what I had. 265 00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:40,174 That’s what I held onto. 266 00:13:40,258 --> 00:13:46,347 ♪ I had to see you, baby ♪ 267 00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:49,976 ♪ I never ran so fast before ♪ 268 00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:53,062 ♪ I rushed inside the chapel door ♪ 269 00:13:53,145 --> 00:13:56,190 ♪ You were waiting all alone ♪ 270 00:13:56,274 --> 00:14:00,194 ♪ You turned around and heard me call ♪ 271 00:14:00,278 --> 00:14:06,158 ♪ Congratulations... ♪ 272 00:14:06,242 --> 00:14:07,743 She never was afraid to sing. 273 00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:09,495 Like, I remember she used to sing outside 274 00:14:09,579 --> 00:14:11,372 and just do-- like, she never was shy. 275 00:14:11,455 --> 00:14:16,002 ♪ One for me ♪ 276 00:14:16,085 --> 00:14:19,839 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪ 277 00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:22,592 (song ends) 278 00:14:22,675 --> 00:14:26,178 And sometimes in the mall, they-they have this, uh, 279 00:14:26,262 --> 00:14:27,346 little studio thing. 280 00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:29,765 You make a little, um, tape for yourself. 281 00:14:29,849 --> 00:14:31,017 You know, like a studio. 282 00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,060 They had, like, a little studio but in the mall. 283 00:14:33,144 --> 00:14:35,521 So you make your little tape, pay your little money. 284 00:14:35,605 --> 00:14:37,607 And she went. My cousin went with her. 285 00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:40,818 And I sang "Caught Up in the Rapture." 286 00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:42,945 And... 287 00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:44,363 brought the tape home. 288 00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:45,489 We listened to it. 289 00:14:45,573 --> 00:14:47,575 We was like, "Ooh, you sound good." 290 00:14:47,658 --> 00:14:49,619 And stepfather listened to it and was like, 291 00:14:49,702 --> 00:14:51,370 "I want to give this to my friend, 292 00:14:51,454 --> 00:14:52,997 "’cause he’s in the music business, you know? 293 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,165 He’s a singer." 294 00:14:54,248 --> 00:14:55,791 And it was, it was Jeff Redd. 295 00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:58,461 When I heard the-the demo at the time, 296 00:14:58,544 --> 00:15:01,297 you know, I heard the pain 297 00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:03,174 of a generation. 298 00:15:03,257 --> 00:15:05,259 That’s what it was with her because... 299 00:15:05,343 --> 00:15:06,761 it was like ’89. 300 00:15:06,844 --> 00:15:09,472 That was right at the tail end of the crack era. 301 00:15:09,555 --> 00:15:12,683 And a lot of the kids that were growing up then 302 00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:14,894 were raising themselves. 303 00:15:14,977 --> 00:15:16,646 And when Mary opened her mouth and sang, 304 00:15:16,729 --> 00:15:19,231 it spoke to a generation of 305 00:15:19,315 --> 00:15:22,860 children and kids that were coming up out of that era. 306 00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:24,945 ♪ ♪ 307 00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:27,782 HARRELL: The head of A&R at Uptown 308 00:15:27,865 --> 00:15:30,743 was pestering me all day, knocking on my door. 309 00:15:30,826 --> 00:15:32,370 I was like, "What’s so important, Kurt?" 310 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:34,747 He said, "Just listen to this. 311 00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:37,208 And he put, uh, Mary J. Blige. 312 00:15:37,291 --> 00:15:41,420 And she was singing Anita Baker, and... 313 00:15:41,504 --> 00:15:44,757 I was like, "Who is this?" 314 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,259 "She’s 19 years old." 315 00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:50,346 "Where’s she living?" "Yonkers." 316 00:15:50,429 --> 00:15:52,223 I said, "I’m coming tomorrow." 317 00:15:52,306 --> 00:15:54,433 ♪ ♪ 318 00:15:54,517 --> 00:15:56,936 MARY: I remember that day like it was yesterday. 319 00:15:57,019 --> 00:16:01,649 He was downstairs in, um, I think it was a black BMW. 320 00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:07,279 HARRELL: I remember I was driving a four-dour BMW 750, 321 00:16:07,363 --> 00:16:10,449 and I pulled up in the projects. 322 00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:14,286 I was wearing sky blue pants, white Gucci loafers 323 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:19,417 and a black-and-white silk cheetah shirt with big glasses. 324 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,837 MARY: He had a black-and-white polka dot shirt on. 325 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,922 And I was afraid for him because he was 326 00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:28,342 this very wealthy man that was in this neighborhood that was... 327 00:16:28,426 --> 00:16:29,927 terrible. 328 00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:31,679 And I was like, you know, "Come on. (chuckles) 329 00:16:31,762 --> 00:16:33,848 Come on." I was just waving him across the street. 330 00:16:33,931 --> 00:16:37,518 So, we got on the elevator, came upstairs, and... 331 00:16:38,561 --> 00:16:39,895 ...he said, "Sing." 332 00:16:39,979 --> 00:16:42,815 ♪ When we met ♪ 333 00:16:42,898 --> 00:16:45,484 ♪ Always knew ♪ 334 00:16:45,568 --> 00:16:49,780 ♪ I would feel that magic for you... ♪ 335 00:16:49,864 --> 00:16:51,615 MARY: I guess my mom was standing there. 336 00:16:51,699 --> 00:16:54,577 I guess people were all around, but all I can remember 337 00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:57,455 is him and what I had to do, 338 00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,374 because I zone everything out to sing. 339 00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:03,127 And I sang the whole Anita Baker Rapture album. 340 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:07,882 ♪ I love you here by me, baby ♪ 341 00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:11,761 ♪ You let my love fly freely... ♪ 342 00:17:11,844 --> 00:17:14,346 MARY: And he was just staring at me and going, 343 00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:16,265 "Oh, my God." 344 00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:20,436 I remember saying to Mary, her mother and her sister that, 345 00:17:20,519 --> 00:17:23,939 "Your daughter Mary, she’s gonna sing for royalty. 346 00:17:24,023 --> 00:17:25,357 "Your daughter Mary, 347 00:17:25,441 --> 00:17:27,693 "she’s gonna be down with the kings 348 00:17:27,777 --> 00:17:29,653 and queens of rock and roll." 349 00:17:29,737 --> 00:17:31,864 I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right." 350 00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:33,407 Because at any moment, 351 00:17:33,491 --> 00:17:35,326 somebody could just pull the rug up from under you. 352 00:17:35,409 --> 00:17:37,870 That’s how-- that’s the environment we lived in. 353 00:17:37,953 --> 00:17:40,414 Whether or not she believed all of it could come true, 354 00:17:40,498 --> 00:17:43,167 I believe, in her heart, with that talent she had, 355 00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,044 she knew that she was destined 356 00:17:45,127 --> 00:17:47,338 for something bigger than being in the house. 357 00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:51,717 ♪ I love you here by me, baby, baby ♪ 358 00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:57,473 ♪ Oh, you let my love fly so free, free, Anita... ♪ 359 00:17:57,556 --> 00:17:59,517 I told her that, um, "We’re gonna sign you. 360 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,101 Welcome to Uptown Records." 361 00:18:01,185 --> 00:18:03,979 -♪ For all time ♪ -♪ For all time ♪ 362 00:18:04,063 --> 00:18:07,191 (both vocalizing) 363 00:18:09,902 --> 00:18:12,363 ♪ Caught up in the rapture of ♪ 364 00:18:12,446 --> 00:18:14,782 -Sing, girl. (vocalizing) -♪ No, no, no, I love you ♪ 365 00:18:14,865 --> 00:18:16,951 Come on, take it away. 366 00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:19,870 -Take it away. Take it away. -(crowd cheering) 367 00:18:19,954 --> 00:18:21,956 (scatting "Sweet Love") 368 00:18:31,006 --> 00:18:33,801 ♪ Don’t you cry, don’t you cry on me ♪ 369 00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:34,969 ♪ I promise I won’t cry ♪ 370 00:18:35,052 --> 00:18:37,763 I love you. I love you. 371 00:18:37,847 --> 00:18:39,849 -(song ends) -(crowd cheering) 372 00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:43,143 Thank you! 373 00:18:43,227 --> 00:18:45,980 -Push it high. -Anita Baker is my angel. 374 00:18:46,063 --> 00:18:48,065 ♪ ♪ 375 00:18:56,448 --> 00:18:59,118 -(sputtering lips) -(indistinct chatter) 376 00:18:59,201 --> 00:19:02,454 This will be good first for me, 377 00:19:02,538 --> 00:19:04,623 second for me, if it works. 378 00:19:04,707 --> 00:19:08,377 So many people around me knew what was coming. 379 00:19:09,628 --> 00:19:11,547 Knew what I had in me. 380 00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:14,258 (crowd cheering) 381 00:19:14,341 --> 00:19:15,634 How you doing? 382 00:19:15,718 --> 00:19:17,803 -Hello. Hey, ladies. -(squealing) 383 00:19:17,887 --> 00:19:19,263 WOMAN: I was 14. 384 00:19:19,346 --> 00:19:21,265 I heard "You Remind Me," the first video 385 00:19:21,348 --> 00:19:23,100 where she had the peach bustier 386 00:19:23,183 --> 00:19:26,061 and the suit, oh, and there was nothing like it. 387 00:19:26,145 --> 00:19:29,064 To see a woman from a background similar to mine 388 00:19:29,148 --> 00:19:32,234 being a moving, actualized woman, 389 00:19:32,318 --> 00:19:33,986 it gave me so much hope. 390 00:19:34,069 --> 00:19:35,321 I love your music, and you’ve been 391 00:19:35,404 --> 00:19:36,780 an inspiration to me since I was a little girl. 392 00:19:36,864 --> 00:19:38,782 -I know you hear it all the time. -Thank you. 393 00:19:38,866 --> 00:19:40,075 Thank you so much. 394 00:19:40,159 --> 00:19:41,702 WOMAN: All right, guys, look right over here. 395 00:19:41,785 --> 00:19:43,120 Perfect. Beautiful! 396 00:19:43,203 --> 00:19:44,872 -Thank you so much. -You’re welcome. 397 00:19:44,955 --> 00:19:48,500 MARY: They thought I was more talented than I believed. 398 00:19:48,584 --> 00:19:50,252 -Hi. How are you? -Hi! 399 00:19:50,336 --> 00:19:52,588 MARY: They knew me before I knew myself. 400 00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:53,964 -I love you. -Oh, you look good. 401 00:19:54,048 --> 00:19:55,341 We are two of your biggest fans. 402 00:19:55,424 --> 00:19:56,550 Thank you. 403 00:19:57,593 --> 00:19:59,219 COMBS: When I first met Mary, 404 00:19:59,303 --> 00:20:00,679 I was working at Uptown. 405 00:20:00,763 --> 00:20:04,350 She came to my office and she sung a cappella for me. 406 00:20:04,433 --> 00:20:06,435 (Mary vocalizing) 407 00:20:10,439 --> 00:20:13,859 COMBS: It was just this raspy, like, gutter, 408 00:20:13,943 --> 00:20:17,363 ghetto tone, pain, 409 00:20:17,446 --> 00:20:19,490 like just everything that was going on, 410 00:20:19,573 --> 00:20:22,701 ’cause there was a lot of pain in the streets. 411 00:20:22,785 --> 00:20:24,787 (Mary continues vocalizing) 412 00:20:34,672 --> 00:20:38,342 COMBS: And there was a lot of young Black women 413 00:20:38,425 --> 00:20:41,387 who could relate to where she came from. 414 00:20:41,470 --> 00:20:43,681 They didn’t have no voice out there. 415 00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:47,685 Then, man, this girl from Schlobohm projects 416 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:50,187 with a attitude, that’ll fight you, 417 00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:53,524 that got a slash on her face, she got a cut on her face, 418 00:20:53,607 --> 00:20:55,109 like, "Man." 419 00:20:55,192 --> 00:20:58,988 I was like, "She is gonna be big, 420 00:20:59,071 --> 00:21:03,200 because... nobody sounds like her." 421 00:21:03,283 --> 00:21:06,829 He believed in me more than I believed in myself. 422 00:21:06,912 --> 00:21:11,166 I didn’t know what I had, who I was, but he knew. 423 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:14,378 And he helped me to believe that I was a real artist, 424 00:21:14,461 --> 00:21:15,713 and I needed that. 425 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:17,297 I needed that push. I needed that pep talk. 426 00:21:17,381 --> 00:21:19,049 I needed that, "You got it, sis. 427 00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,801 You can do it. I’m proud of you." 428 00:21:20,884 --> 00:21:25,514 I needed everything he gave me, because I was very insecure. 429 00:21:26,724 --> 00:21:29,727 NAS: Mary coming out of Schlobohm projects, 430 00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:33,063 she has one foot there, struggling to get out, 431 00:21:33,147 --> 00:21:36,734 and one foot in the recording studio, 432 00:21:36,817 --> 00:21:38,861 with this opportunity to 433 00:21:38,944 --> 00:21:42,531 give this voice to the world. 434 00:21:42,614 --> 00:21:45,701 HARRELL: For Puff, this was early on in his career, 435 00:21:45,784 --> 00:21:48,120 and he was looking to stand out 436 00:21:48,203 --> 00:21:51,081 and make a name for hisself within Uptown. 437 00:21:51,165 --> 00:21:54,585 And we were very supportive of, "You go ahead, do that. 438 00:21:54,668 --> 00:21:57,254 We’ll provide the resources so you can kill that." 439 00:21:57,337 --> 00:22:00,049 (quiet chatter) 440 00:22:00,132 --> 00:22:01,341 COMBS: The last one you-- when I told-- 441 00:22:01,425 --> 00:22:02,843 the thing I told you before you went in there, 442 00:22:02,926 --> 00:22:04,803 I said, "Say it like you know it and be confident with it," 443 00:22:04,887 --> 00:22:06,305 and that’s how you were singing the whole way through. 444 00:22:06,388 --> 00:22:08,640 -That was good about it. -Okay. 445 00:22:08,724 --> 00:22:10,434 MARY: I didn’t even know what I was doing, 446 00:22:10,517 --> 00:22:12,811 because I was in survival mode, 447 00:22:12,895 --> 00:22:15,564 meaning, like, I had to save my family, you know. 448 00:22:15,647 --> 00:22:18,358 I had to make sure that they were all out of the projects 449 00:22:18,442 --> 00:22:23,197 and they were good, and I was singing for my life, literally. 450 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,782 COMBS: At the end of the chorus, 451 00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:26,909 you had just said a little bit more at the end of the chorus 452 00:22:26,992 --> 00:22:29,495 -on the, on the one before that. -Okay, cool. 453 00:22:29,578 --> 00:22:32,831 MISA HYLTON: I met Mary at the studio with Puffy, 454 00:22:32,915 --> 00:22:34,458 and we spent a lot of time together. 455 00:22:34,541 --> 00:22:37,044 We quickly became like sisters. 456 00:22:38,087 --> 00:22:40,089 COMBS: Misa was my girl, 457 00:22:40,172 --> 00:22:43,050 the mother of my first son, Justin, 458 00:22:43,133 --> 00:22:45,427 and Misa was just the flyest, you know? 459 00:22:45,511 --> 00:22:47,638 It was just, like, her cut, 460 00:22:47,721 --> 00:22:51,100 the way she was just doing her hair, her bob, 461 00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:52,392 the way she was wearing her swag. 462 00:22:52,476 --> 00:22:53,727 You know what I’m saying? I was like, 463 00:22:53,811 --> 00:22:56,355 "Yo, you should be a stylist for Mary." 464 00:22:56,438 --> 00:22:59,108 Early in our career, it was really difficult 465 00:22:59,191 --> 00:23:01,902 to get our foot in the door with the fashion houses. 466 00:23:01,985 --> 00:23:04,238 First, we were young. 467 00:23:04,321 --> 00:23:07,074 Secondly, we were female. 468 00:23:07,157 --> 00:23:09,243 And then we were women of color-- 469 00:23:09,326 --> 00:23:10,828 young women of color. 470 00:23:10,911 --> 00:23:14,039 ("Real Love" playing, Mary vocalizing) 471 00:23:14,123 --> 00:23:19,378 And so I had to design and create custom looks for Mary. 472 00:23:19,461 --> 00:23:21,713 And I know that I saw things in her 473 00:23:21,797 --> 00:23:23,298 that she didn’t see in herself, 474 00:23:23,382 --> 00:23:25,092 that she wasn’t able to see in herself yet. 475 00:23:25,175 --> 00:23:29,429 MARY: They saw what I was, and between her and Puffy, 476 00:23:29,513 --> 00:23:31,849 they gave me the most iconic looks. 477 00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:33,725 ♪ We are lovers through and through ♪ 478 00:23:33,809 --> 00:23:36,395 ♪ And though we made it through the storm... ♪ 479 00:23:36,478 --> 00:23:40,691 COMBS: It was unapologetically Black, real and soulful. 480 00:23:40,774 --> 00:23:43,360 HARRELL: We felt like we were running a movement, 481 00:23:43,443 --> 00:23:46,530 and the movement was called Ghetto Fabulous. 482 00:23:46,613 --> 00:23:49,116 And Mary J. Blige was the queen of this movement. 483 00:23:49,199 --> 00:23:52,035 ♪ Be the real love that I need... ♪ 484 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:53,871 SMITH: Mary was the first 485 00:23:53,954 --> 00:23:58,167 to bring her own kind of R&B, hip-hop swag 486 00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:00,711 to the very boy-based rap scene. 487 00:24:00,794 --> 00:24:04,339 ♪ I got to have a real love ♪ 488 00:24:04,423 --> 00:24:05,757 ♪ Real love ♪ 489 00:24:07,259 --> 00:24:09,761 ♪ I’m searching for a real love... ♪ 490 00:24:09,845 --> 00:24:12,264 There wasn’t a lot of R&B singers 491 00:24:12,347 --> 00:24:14,057 singing over hip-hop tracks. 492 00:24:14,141 --> 00:24:17,227 So that-that alone right there was like, "Oh, okay. 493 00:24:17,311 --> 00:24:19,104 "We can, uh, you know, we can groove to this. 494 00:24:19,188 --> 00:24:21,481 "We can do our dances off of this. 495 00:24:21,565 --> 00:24:23,817 "This don’t sound like our mama’s music, 496 00:24:23,901 --> 00:24:27,154 but she’s singing, so Mama might like it, too." 497 00:24:27,237 --> 00:24:30,824 ♪ I’m searching for a real love. ♪ 498 00:24:30,908 --> 00:24:32,534 (song ends) 499 00:24:32,618 --> 00:24:34,411 I’m from the hood, 500 00:24:34,494 --> 00:24:38,207 and it was like dudes had their representation. 501 00:24:38,290 --> 00:24:42,294 They had all of their stories, but when it came to females, 502 00:24:42,377 --> 00:24:44,004 I just didn’t see me. 503 00:24:44,087 --> 00:24:46,089 I didn’t see me. 504 00:24:46,173 --> 00:24:50,761 SMITH: At that time, the rule for Black female artists was 505 00:24:50,844 --> 00:24:53,096 "sing loud and smooth yourself out." 506 00:24:53,180 --> 00:24:54,348 -(crowd chattering) -All right, 507 00:24:54,431 --> 00:24:55,682 y’all know what this next record is. 508 00:24:55,766 --> 00:24:57,476 Everybody know what this is. 509 00:24:57,559 --> 00:25:00,145 Mary was like, "I don’t know." (laughs) 510 00:25:00,229 --> 00:25:04,942 -♪ You... ♪ -(crowd cheering) 511 00:25:05,025 --> 00:25:07,653 ♪ You remind me, yeah ♪ 512 00:25:07,736 --> 00:25:08,737 Come on, y’all! 513 00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:10,989 ♪ You remind me ♪ 514 00:25:11,073 --> 00:25:17,621 ♪ Of such sweet memories... ♪ 515 00:25:18,622 --> 00:25:22,084 Sunday, no bodyguards. 516 00:25:22,167 --> 00:25:25,087 Crowd’s, like, right there. 517 00:25:25,170 --> 00:25:27,005 You know, we’re all like... 518 00:25:28,340 --> 00:25:30,175 ...you know, "This is gonna be great." 519 00:25:30,259 --> 00:25:32,344 You know, ’cause the record’s out; it’s playing. 520 00:25:32,427 --> 00:25:35,597 If-if you’re in hip-hop, you know it, you know. 521 00:25:35,681 --> 00:25:38,684 She’s not a pop star yet, but she’s on her way. (chuckles) 522 00:25:38,767 --> 00:25:40,102 (Mary vocalizing) 523 00:25:40,185 --> 00:25:42,145 ♪ Of sweet memories... ♪ 524 00:25:42,229 --> 00:25:44,815 COMBS: We went into a lane that nobody was at, 525 00:25:44,898 --> 00:25:46,984 and so the type of fan hysteria 526 00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:50,112 and her connection with women was crazy. 527 00:25:50,195 --> 00:25:52,572 (crowd singing along): ♪ You ♪ 528 00:25:52,656 --> 00:25:56,660 ♪ You remind me of a love that I once knew... ♪ 529 00:25:56,743 --> 00:25:58,120 We were like, "Oh, we love this girl. 530 00:25:58,203 --> 00:25:59,454 We love her sound. Like, who is she?" 531 00:25:59,538 --> 00:26:00,831 And then we saw the video. 532 00:26:00,914 --> 00:26:03,458 ("You Remind Me" playing) 533 00:26:03,542 --> 00:26:05,794 And we were like, "Oh, my God, the hat to the back 534 00:26:05,877 --> 00:26:07,879 with the combat boots and the tennis skirts." 535 00:26:07,963 --> 00:26:14,177 And it was like she was our urban girl, hood role model. 536 00:26:14,261 --> 00:26:16,388 Like, we wanted to be just like her. 537 00:26:18,598 --> 00:26:20,017 I saw something that we’ve never seen before 538 00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:22,019 but something we knew existed. 539 00:26:22,102 --> 00:26:23,603 I knew that existed. I was her. 540 00:26:23,687 --> 00:26:26,732 So she gave us a face, she gave us a name, 541 00:26:26,815 --> 00:26:30,152 she gave us a story, she humanized us. 542 00:26:30,235 --> 00:26:34,906 SMITH: She was like, "I’m here and I’m beautiful, 543 00:26:34,990 --> 00:26:37,326 "and I’m hip-hop but I’m Mary. 544 00:26:37,409 --> 00:26:40,412 "I’m bringing all of Yonkers with me. 545 00:26:40,495 --> 00:26:44,499 Good, bad, whatever-- I’m Mary and this is what I’m doing." 546 00:26:44,583 --> 00:26:48,378 And it was so great for us to see this authentic Black woman. 547 00:26:48,462 --> 00:26:53,925 I started to feel good about who I am, 548 00:26:54,009 --> 00:26:56,303 about being a little rougher around the edges, 549 00:26:56,386 --> 00:26:58,430 about having a strong point of view. 550 00:26:58,513 --> 00:27:02,684 I felt like I could be who I actually was 551 00:27:02,768 --> 00:27:04,936 and that that was cool, that was great. 552 00:27:05,020 --> 00:27:08,523 And in fact, I didn’t want to be like anything else, you know? 553 00:27:08,607 --> 00:27:13,153 You could just be another girl with a dream 554 00:27:13,236 --> 00:27:14,863 and you could be special. 555 00:27:14,946 --> 00:27:16,531 We didn’t see, we didn’t-- 556 00:27:16,615 --> 00:27:19,493 we still don’t get to see that a lot, you know? 557 00:27:19,576 --> 00:27:20,660 Still. 558 00:27:20,744 --> 00:27:23,413 So, for me, as a 13-year-old, 559 00:27:23,497 --> 00:27:28,710 that really gave me a certain, like, permission that I needed. 560 00:27:30,003 --> 00:27:34,549 ♪ I ♪ 561 00:27:34,633 --> 00:27:39,888 ♪ Can remember when ♪ 562 00:27:39,971 --> 00:27:42,140 ("Reminisce" playing) 563 00:27:42,224 --> 00:27:45,102 ♪ We had ♪ 564 00:27:45,185 --> 00:27:49,773 -♪ We had it all ♪ -♪ Reminisce on the love we had ♪ 565 00:27:49,856 --> 00:27:52,818 ♪ You and I... ♪ 566 00:27:52,901 --> 00:27:54,528 Hello. 567 00:27:54,611 --> 00:27:56,113 (quiet chatter) 568 00:27:56,196 --> 00:27:58,240 -Hello, everyone. -Hi. 569 00:27:58,323 --> 00:27:59,574 ("Reminisce" playing over stereo) 570 00:27:59,658 --> 00:28:03,912 ♪ You know we had it all ♪ 571 00:28:03,995 --> 00:28:06,498 ♪ You and I ♪ 572 00:28:06,581 --> 00:28:10,001 ♪ Reminisce on the love we had ♪ 573 00:28:10,085 --> 00:28:12,462 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 574 00:28:12,546 --> 00:28:14,423 Back then, people put speakers in the windows. 575 00:28:14,506 --> 00:28:15,674 (laughter) 576 00:28:15,757 --> 00:28:17,467 And blast through the whole block. 577 00:28:17,551 --> 00:28:21,430 And, um, I heard "Reminisce," and I was-- I stopped. 578 00:28:21,513 --> 00:28:23,306 I was like, "Who’s that?" 579 00:28:23,390 --> 00:28:24,766 I asked the guy, I was like, "Who is this?" 580 00:28:24,850 --> 00:28:26,268 "It’s a new artist, Mary J. Blige." 581 00:28:26,351 --> 00:28:28,937 So I definitely went to The Wiz. Remember the store The Wiz? 582 00:28:29,020 --> 00:28:30,564 -Yes. -The Wiz. -(laughter) 583 00:28:30,647 --> 00:28:32,065 MAN: And I picked that cassette tape up. 584 00:28:32,149 --> 00:28:34,151 It popped on me, I played it so much. 585 00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:35,694 -(laughter) -WOMAN: I used to listen 586 00:28:35,777 --> 00:28:37,028 to What’s the 411? 587 00:28:37,112 --> 00:28:39,531 and put the headphones to her at 15 months. 588 00:28:39,614 --> 00:28:41,533 -And it was so bad to... -(chuckles) 589 00:28:41,616 --> 00:28:44,244 She actually thought, like, Mary was a part of our family. 590 00:28:44,327 --> 00:28:46,663 -(laughter) -As she, as she got older, 591 00:28:46,746 --> 00:28:49,708 she’s like, "Where’s-where’s Mary? Where’s Mary?" 592 00:28:49,791 --> 00:28:51,334 (laughter) 593 00:28:51,418 --> 00:28:54,045 (excited chatter) 594 00:28:54,129 --> 00:28:55,380 Hi, Mary! 595 00:28:55,464 --> 00:28:57,632 I feel like I know her personally. 596 00:28:57,716 --> 00:29:00,260 Um, I connect with her through her music. 597 00:29:00,343 --> 00:29:02,637 And I just, I just want to just hug her. 598 00:29:02,721 --> 00:29:04,347 (cheering) 599 00:29:04,431 --> 00:29:07,726 HARRELL: She’s transcending in terms of where she was at 19 600 00:29:07,809 --> 00:29:12,772 to where she is riding around downtown in Manhattan with stars 601 00:29:12,856 --> 00:29:15,525 and being made a star. 602 00:29:15,609 --> 00:29:18,069 And at the same time, she started a relationship 603 00:29:18,153 --> 00:29:21,323 with K-Ci of Jodeci, and they started going out. 604 00:29:21,406 --> 00:29:23,158 K-Ci was a proven 605 00:29:23,241 --> 00:29:27,120 church crooner from eight or nine years old. 606 00:29:27,204 --> 00:29:31,124 He was Little Cedric, and then became K-Ci of Jodeci. 607 00:29:32,501 --> 00:29:34,544 And I know for her as an artist, 608 00:29:34,628 --> 00:29:37,172 that was a challenge artistically and vocally 609 00:29:37,255 --> 00:29:38,590 that she needed. 610 00:29:38,673 --> 00:29:42,302 ("I Don’t Want to Do Anything" playing, K-Ci vocalizing) 611 00:29:42,385 --> 00:29:45,889 ♪ If loving you is all that I have to do... ♪ 612 00:29:45,972 --> 00:29:49,142 ’Cause she’s a kid who grew up singing in the house. 613 00:29:49,226 --> 00:29:52,103 So now she goes out with a guy, they can sing in the house, 614 00:29:52,187 --> 00:29:54,231 and she can hear how strong she is. 615 00:29:54,314 --> 00:29:55,982 (Mary and K-Ci vocalizing) 616 00:29:56,066 --> 00:29:59,528 ♪ We will be as one ♪ 617 00:29:59,611 --> 00:30:01,821 ♪ Just me and you... ♪ 618 00:30:01,905 --> 00:30:05,242 MARY: I really liked him, and when I like you, I like you. 619 00:30:05,325 --> 00:30:07,827 I just fell in love with him. 620 00:30:07,911 --> 00:30:09,663 ♪ I will love you ♪ 621 00:30:09,746 --> 00:30:11,540 ♪ Will you please me, baby? ♪ 622 00:30:11,623 --> 00:30:13,124 ♪ I will please you ♪ 623 00:30:13,208 --> 00:30:14,918 ♪ Girl, don’t leave me ♪ 624 00:30:15,001 --> 00:30:16,294 ♪ I won’t leave you ♪ 625 00:30:16,378 --> 00:30:18,255 ♪ Let’s make it easy ♪ 626 00:30:18,338 --> 00:30:20,507 (both vocalizing) 627 00:30:20,590 --> 00:30:23,593 ♪ Oh, yeah, baby. ♪ 628 00:30:23,677 --> 00:30:25,303 Thank you. 629 00:30:25,387 --> 00:30:27,389 -(cheering) -(band playing flourish) 630 00:30:29,808 --> 00:30:32,519 -(song ends) -(cheering continues) 631 00:30:32,602 --> 00:30:33,895 HARRELL: So I think 632 00:30:33,979 --> 00:30:36,856 what Puff gave her in enthusiasm, 633 00:30:36,940 --> 00:30:39,234 K-Ci and the experience with Jodeci gave her 634 00:30:39,317 --> 00:30:43,989 the self-confidence to know that, "I’m as good as this, 635 00:30:44,072 --> 00:30:46,491 ’cause these dudes is amazing." 636 00:30:46,575 --> 00:30:49,494 So I think all those things at the same time, one, 637 00:30:49,578 --> 00:30:51,121 probably gave her self-confidence, 638 00:30:51,204 --> 00:30:55,584 and-and, two, uh, probably left her confused, too. 639 00:30:55,667 --> 00:30:57,669 ♪ ♪ 640 00:30:59,379 --> 00:31:00,922 MARY: Things had happened so fast, 641 00:31:01,006 --> 00:31:03,425 I didn’t even know they had happened. 642 00:31:04,718 --> 00:31:07,804 You know, I ended up on tour so quickly. 643 00:31:07,887 --> 00:31:09,097 (crowd cheering) 644 00:31:09,180 --> 00:31:11,057 I ended up selling all these records 645 00:31:11,141 --> 00:31:12,851 and doing platinum parties. 646 00:31:12,934 --> 00:31:14,603 (crowd cheering) 647 00:31:14,686 --> 00:31:17,981 It was like I was just moving and didn’t know what happened. 648 00:31:19,107 --> 00:31:20,442 I just was there. 649 00:31:20,525 --> 00:31:22,527 My body was just there. 650 00:31:25,572 --> 00:31:27,449 JAMARKO MILLER: You know, you take a kid 651 00:31:27,532 --> 00:31:30,702 out of the projects, you sold two million albums. 652 00:31:30,785 --> 00:31:32,370 Now you got to-- you know what I’m saying? 653 00:31:32,454 --> 00:31:33,580 Now you got to go here, you got to go there. 654 00:31:33,663 --> 00:31:34,789 You’re like, "What?" 655 00:31:34,873 --> 00:31:37,876 Everything just went, went, went, went, 656 00:31:37,959 --> 00:31:42,088 and-and it went very fast, to where I could tell it was 657 00:31:42,172 --> 00:31:44,883 exciting for her, but I could also tell it was a little scary. 658 00:31:44,966 --> 00:31:46,968 (wind whistling softly) 659 00:31:47,052 --> 00:31:51,222 MARY: It was kind of like, you know, "So, what-what is this?" 660 00:31:51,306 --> 00:31:53,933 I’m-I’m a-- how about this? I’m afraid of it, anyway. 661 00:31:54,017 --> 00:31:56,394 Whatever it is, I’m fucking scared to death of it, 662 00:31:56,478 --> 00:31:59,147 so I’m scared to death of myself. 663 00:31:59,230 --> 00:32:02,525 So... whatever it takes for me to be comfortable, 664 00:32:02,609 --> 00:32:04,986 if I need to drink some more, if I need to do some more coke, 665 00:32:05,070 --> 00:32:06,988 whatever way I need to do to loosen up 666 00:32:07,072 --> 00:32:09,366 and try to take this in. 667 00:32:15,747 --> 00:32:17,749 ♪ ♪ 668 00:32:26,091 --> 00:32:29,302 This shit looks like Schlobohm. 669 00:32:29,386 --> 00:32:31,346 -Hmm? -It looks like Schlobohm. 670 00:32:31,429 --> 00:32:32,972 LaTONYA: Th-Them projects, right? 671 00:32:33,056 --> 00:32:34,808 That’s how all the projects look. 672 00:32:34,891 --> 00:32:37,102 MARY: I think Schlobohm may look worse. 673 00:32:40,146 --> 00:32:43,608 I remember hearing myself for the first time on the radio. 674 00:32:43,692 --> 00:32:46,277 I think I said, "Thank you, Jesus." (chuckles) 675 00:32:46,361 --> 00:32:50,615 I knew I was gonna be able to get my mom and my sister, 676 00:32:50,699 --> 00:32:53,702 my family from out of the projects. 677 00:32:53,785 --> 00:32:56,162 But I-I don’t remember feeling happy. 678 00:32:56,246 --> 00:32:58,581 It was definitely a transition, 679 00:32:58,665 --> 00:33:01,251 I think, for all of us, for our whole family, 680 00:33:01,334 --> 00:33:03,920 from going from dealing with 681 00:33:04,003 --> 00:33:06,381 the day-to-day of living in the projects 682 00:33:06,464 --> 00:33:08,341 to... 683 00:33:08,425 --> 00:33:13,221 one day hearing Mary’s records on the radio, 684 00:33:13,304 --> 00:33:15,265 (laughs): but we still lived in the projects. 685 00:33:15,348 --> 00:33:17,726 Then the next thing you know, like, 686 00:33:17,809 --> 00:33:21,312 we’re moving to a suburb. 687 00:33:21,396 --> 00:33:23,064 It was extreme. (chuckles) 688 00:33:23,148 --> 00:33:24,357 It was an extreme transition. 689 00:33:24,441 --> 00:33:26,359 -(jet engine whirring) -Hi. 690 00:33:26,443 --> 00:33:28,570 Hi. How you doing, ma’am? Frank Dickens is my name. 691 00:33:28,653 --> 00:33:30,071 Mary. 692 00:33:30,155 --> 00:33:31,781 MARY: I measure success for myself 693 00:33:31,865 --> 00:33:36,453 when I’m able to, from the inside, 694 00:33:36,536 --> 00:33:39,581 be happy enough to know that I’m successful, 695 00:33:39,664 --> 00:33:42,417 to know that I did something great, 696 00:33:42,500 --> 00:33:43,960 to be secure enough to know 697 00:33:44,043 --> 00:33:46,337 that I am great or I did something great, 698 00:33:46,421 --> 00:33:48,715 and that’s why I can understand it now. 699 00:33:48,798 --> 00:33:50,925 I didn’t understand it then because I wasn’t-- 700 00:33:51,009 --> 00:33:53,636 I didn’t feel like I was great in my heart. 701 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,682 It’s, "Hey, I know you see me as this person 702 00:33:57,766 --> 00:33:59,476 "and my life looks like so much fun. 703 00:33:59,559 --> 00:34:02,687 "Well, guess what, my life sucks, too. 704 00:34:02,771 --> 00:34:05,899 "And, you know, and I’m doing everything I can to make it-- 705 00:34:05,982 --> 00:34:07,400 to get over it and get better." 706 00:34:07,484 --> 00:34:09,110 "Well, you have all this money." (stammers) 707 00:34:09,194 --> 00:34:11,196 Oh, bullshit. You know what I mean? 708 00:34:11,279 --> 00:34:13,406 I know more people who have had money, have lost it, 709 00:34:13,490 --> 00:34:17,202 have had it, and they-- doesn’t, doesn’t change you. 710 00:34:17,285 --> 00:34:19,245 The way they feel inside. 711 00:34:19,329 --> 00:34:22,040 I couldn’t even enjoy... 712 00:34:22,123 --> 00:34:23,500 what-what was going on. 713 00:34:23,583 --> 00:34:25,084 I couldn’t even enjoy my success. 714 00:34:26,419 --> 00:34:30,465 And I was in a relationship where we were both young, 715 00:34:30,548 --> 00:34:32,967 both super successful. 716 00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:37,722 I loved him, you know, but neither one of us could handle 717 00:34:37,806 --> 00:34:39,557 the success of our lives. 718 00:34:41,100 --> 00:34:45,313 So we became very, um, dark, the whole thing. 719 00:34:45,396 --> 00:34:47,232 And abusive. 720 00:34:47,315 --> 00:34:49,192 ♪ ♪ 721 00:34:49,275 --> 00:34:53,947 It was, it was a lot of just m-manipulation. 722 00:34:55,657 --> 00:34:57,200 It was like, but I was still there. 723 00:34:57,283 --> 00:34:58,952 Like, I don’t-- you know. 724 00:35:00,328 --> 00:35:02,497 I’m gonna be here. I’m-a dumb myself all the way down. 725 00:35:02,580 --> 00:35:04,874 I’m-a play myself all the way down 726 00:35:04,958 --> 00:35:07,794 so I don’t think I’m special, so I can be with you. 727 00:35:13,424 --> 00:35:14,968 CHUCKY THOMPSON: When I first met Mary, 728 00:35:15,051 --> 00:35:17,971 she had on, I swear, you had a sweat suit on 729 00:35:18,054 --> 00:35:21,099 with the little suede bucket jawn, dude, 730 00:35:21,182 --> 00:35:23,393 -and the Timberland jawns on, dude. -(laughter) 731 00:35:23,476 --> 00:35:25,395 And was in the corner like this. 732 00:35:25,478 --> 00:35:27,105 I said, "Man, I’m not saying nothing to her, yo. 733 00:35:27,188 --> 00:35:28,648 (laughter) 734 00:35:28,731 --> 00:35:32,235 She be done whupped everybody head up in this jawn, dude." 735 00:35:32,318 --> 00:35:34,612 When it came to production, I was pretty much new to the game. 736 00:35:34,696 --> 00:35:36,489 I had a couple of records out at the time. 737 00:35:36,573 --> 00:35:38,825 And then Puff comes to me, and he’s like, 738 00:35:38,908 --> 00:35:40,827 "Yo, I got this record to do with Mary, 739 00:35:40,910 --> 00:35:42,912 and if you want to do it, let’s do it." 740 00:35:42,996 --> 00:35:44,664 COMBS: So many people were coming up to me 741 00:35:44,747 --> 00:35:46,165 and they’d be like, "You gonna be all right 742 00:35:46,249 --> 00:35:48,418 with the sophomore jinx?" 743 00:35:48,501 --> 00:35:50,712 The sophomore jinx, you know. 744 00:35:50,795 --> 00:35:53,214 People don’t usually come out with a-a album 745 00:35:53,298 --> 00:35:55,383 that’s doper than their first one. 746 00:35:56,801 --> 00:36:00,638 That’s when I hooked up with Chucky and Bub. 747 00:36:00,722 --> 00:36:03,808 Can’t stop the Bub rush. 748 00:36:03,892 --> 00:36:05,935 BIG BUB: I was 23 years old. 749 00:36:06,019 --> 00:36:07,937 I’m writing for different artists, 750 00:36:08,021 --> 00:36:11,441 and here comes Puffy like, "Yo, I need these records for Mary." 751 00:36:11,524 --> 00:36:14,235 I’m like, "Okay, cool." 752 00:36:14,319 --> 00:36:17,906 First time we met, she was so cool. 753 00:36:17,989 --> 00:36:20,909 Elevator door open up, she’s in there with security, 754 00:36:20,992 --> 00:36:23,286 and I came through there with my, "Yo." 755 00:36:23,369 --> 00:36:24,787 I said, "We ’bout to make history. 756 00:36:24,871 --> 00:36:26,247 We ’bout to make some crack." 757 00:36:26,331 --> 00:36:27,665 She was like this. 758 00:36:27,749 --> 00:36:29,751 "Oh, really? Well, we gonna see." 759 00:36:29,834 --> 00:36:31,544 I said, "Okay, cool." 760 00:36:31,628 --> 00:36:33,421 I said, "Watch. 761 00:36:33,504 --> 00:36:36,633 Watch, Mary. We ’bout to change the whole game." 762 00:36:36,716 --> 00:36:38,843 And the rest is history. 763 00:36:38,927 --> 00:36:42,263 MARY: I always made it where I controlled the environment. 764 00:36:42,347 --> 00:36:44,098 It’s like I didn’t really trust people, 765 00:36:44,182 --> 00:36:46,351 so I didn’t like a lot of people around 766 00:36:46,434 --> 00:36:50,229 unless I knew them and we were really, really close. 767 00:36:50,313 --> 00:36:51,481 -Yo, what’s up? -How you doing? 768 00:36:51,564 --> 00:36:52,649 Chillin’. How are you? 769 00:36:52,732 --> 00:36:54,192 THOMPSON: I wasn’t even looking at Mary 770 00:36:54,275 --> 00:36:57,320 as, uh, you know, as this big artist. 771 00:36:57,403 --> 00:37:00,657 I looked at her in the light of being, like, my extended sister. 772 00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:05,078 And... I just wanted to make sure she had that royal 773 00:37:05,161 --> 00:37:07,872 but yet still grounded, hood feeling 774 00:37:07,956 --> 00:37:12,543 about the songs that we were-- or that I was delivering to her. 775 00:37:12,627 --> 00:37:17,131 And at-at that particular time, you know, it was the early ’90s, 776 00:37:17,215 --> 00:37:19,801 so a lot of music that was happening at that time 777 00:37:19,884 --> 00:37:23,054 reflected 20 years back, which was the ’70s. 778 00:37:23,137 --> 00:37:27,850 Which was really, like, a lot of Black exploitation films 779 00:37:27,934 --> 00:37:31,604 and just that energy of street music and street life, 780 00:37:31,688 --> 00:37:33,314 and we embodied that. 781 00:37:34,273 --> 00:37:35,817 We’re both from the same 782 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:38,069 hood or whatever you want to call it. 783 00:37:38,152 --> 00:37:41,447 People that are in that, it’s not all good all the time. 784 00:37:41,531 --> 00:37:43,741 So when you find somebody that’s good, 785 00:37:43,825 --> 00:37:46,035 it’s like, man. 786 00:37:46,119 --> 00:37:47,537 You know what I’m saying? 787 00:37:47,620 --> 00:37:49,205 It’s-it’s good out here in the world. 788 00:37:49,288 --> 00:37:50,915 So I’m-a be real. 789 00:37:50,999 --> 00:37:53,251 When-when that first 411 album came out, 790 00:37:53,334 --> 00:37:56,254 and I know that Puff was pushing the fashion thing, 791 00:37:56,337 --> 00:37:58,381 and it was like a little hard-core, 792 00:37:58,464 --> 00:38:00,591 I said, "Hold up, joe. 793 00:38:00,675 --> 00:38:03,219 It’s-it’s more to her than that." 794 00:38:03,302 --> 00:38:04,595 So, I guess, from the songs 795 00:38:04,679 --> 00:38:07,140 and the way I was coming with that music, 796 00:38:07,223 --> 00:38:09,350 I-- that was where my brain was at. 797 00:38:09,434 --> 00:38:11,352 You was dead-on with that shit. 798 00:38:11,436 --> 00:38:14,439 You was dead-on with the dark, the dark that I was living. 799 00:38:14,522 --> 00:38:16,482 You was dead-on with the street that I came from. 800 00:38:16,566 --> 00:38:17,900 You was dead-on with the-- 801 00:38:17,984 --> 00:38:19,777 -all the shit that I was. -(chuckles) 802 00:38:19,861 --> 00:38:21,070 What’s the 411? was dope. 803 00:38:21,154 --> 00:38:22,739 It felt good. It was great. 804 00:38:22,822 --> 00:38:24,741 It was all the stuff, but by the time 805 00:38:24,824 --> 00:38:29,579 I got to this My Life part of my life, I was all fucked-up, 806 00:38:29,662 --> 00:38:32,665 and I needed somebody to understand, through music, 807 00:38:32,749 --> 00:38:35,543 and you-you tr-- you-you did. 808 00:38:35,626 --> 00:38:37,253 You understood. 809 00:38:37,336 --> 00:38:40,840 Her truth came out more on My Life than What’s the 411? 810 00:38:40,923 --> 00:38:44,343 What’s the 411? came out real, real dope. 811 00:38:44,427 --> 00:38:45,970 But then when we went to this, 812 00:38:46,054 --> 00:38:49,098 when we went to this another level of truth, 813 00:38:49,182 --> 00:38:50,808 My Life was a whole different thing. 814 00:38:50,892 --> 00:38:52,143 The "Be With You" track 815 00:38:52,226 --> 00:38:55,188 -jump-started the whole feeling. -Yo, that’s it, man. 816 00:38:55,271 --> 00:38:57,982 When I heard that-- Puff came to my house in Jersey, 817 00:38:58,066 --> 00:38:59,984 and he-he was like, "Yo, I got something for you to hear." 818 00:39:00,068 --> 00:39:03,321 He was just, like, you know, all antsy and, you know, excited. 819 00:39:03,404 --> 00:39:05,823 So I get in the car with Puff, and it starts. 820 00:39:05,907 --> 00:39:07,533 -(humming "Be With You") -("Be With You" playing) 821 00:39:07,617 --> 00:39:08,910 Yep. 822 00:39:08,993 --> 00:39:12,455 And it just grabbed everything that I was feeling. 823 00:39:12,538 --> 00:39:16,209 And I just, like-- I-I may have started writing it on the spot. 824 00:39:16,292 --> 00:39:18,294 ♪ ♪ 825 00:39:21,798 --> 00:39:25,009 That record was the beginning of it all. 826 00:39:25,093 --> 00:39:29,430 It was the beginning of me spilling myself into this album. 827 00:39:29,514 --> 00:39:31,432 We used to hear that, like, all day. 828 00:39:31,516 --> 00:39:34,268 Like, that’s what she was-- that was her first, like, first song, 829 00:39:34,352 --> 00:39:36,354 so we’d hear that beat playing all day 830 00:39:36,437 --> 00:39:38,731 and just be in the house, n-nothing else playing. 831 00:39:38,815 --> 00:39:40,233 You know, she’d just be writing, 832 00:39:40,316 --> 00:39:42,276 you know, balling up papers, writing. 833 00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,570 I remember when we made that record. 834 00:39:44,654 --> 00:39:49,367 It was one of the most unsecured times of our lives. 835 00:39:49,450 --> 00:39:52,286 I was going through breaking up with Misa. 836 00:39:52,370 --> 00:39:56,082 You know, Mary was going through a lot of things with K-Ci. 837 00:39:56,165 --> 00:39:59,418 And we was in this studio in New York 838 00:39:59,502 --> 00:40:04,173 that you could actually see outside, and it was raining. 839 00:40:04,257 --> 00:40:09,387 ♪ I wanna be with you ♪ 840 00:40:09,470 --> 00:40:11,556 ♪ Does he care for you... ♪ 841 00:40:11,639 --> 00:40:13,516 And it was one of those days where you’re walking around 842 00:40:13,599 --> 00:40:16,352 with the tears balled up in your eyes. 843 00:40:16,435 --> 00:40:19,230 Like, we was kids that was just heartbroken. 844 00:40:19,313 --> 00:40:20,439 You know what I’m saying? 845 00:40:20,523 --> 00:40:22,483 Like-like, really, like, like-- 846 00:40:22,567 --> 00:40:24,360 Misa was my heart. 847 00:40:24,443 --> 00:40:26,696 K-Ci was her heart. 848 00:40:26,779 --> 00:40:29,991 And me and her in the studio looking at each other, crying. 849 00:40:30,074 --> 00:40:34,871 ♪ Does he even care... ♪ 850 00:40:34,954 --> 00:40:37,373 We’d made a connection through pain, 851 00:40:37,456 --> 00:40:39,125 and we was like, from that point on, we was like, 852 00:40:39,208 --> 00:40:42,211 "Fuck that." Like, "We gonna bring the pain." 853 00:40:42,295 --> 00:40:46,299 ♪ I can’t deal with the fact that ♪ 854 00:40:46,382 --> 00:40:50,511 ♪ You don’t want me around ♪ 855 00:40:50,595 --> 00:40:54,515 ♪ Why you wanna see me down... ♪ 856 00:40:54,599 --> 00:40:58,102 MARY: So the whole album, the whole My Life album is, 857 00:40:58,186 --> 00:41:00,188 "Please, love me. 858 00:41:00,271 --> 00:41:01,606 "Don’t go. 859 00:41:01,689 --> 00:41:03,274 I need you." 860 00:41:03,357 --> 00:41:05,568 It was a, it was a cry for help. 861 00:41:05,651 --> 00:41:08,863 ♪ I spent all my days ♪ 862 00:41:08,946 --> 00:41:12,617 ♪ And all my nights with you ♪ 863 00:41:12,700 --> 00:41:19,207 ♪ Just tell me what am I gonna do without you... ♪ 864 00:41:19,290 --> 00:41:21,083 "Got to believe that I won’t hurt you." 865 00:41:21,167 --> 00:41:23,961 You know, "I never want to live without you. Don’t go." 866 00:41:24,045 --> 00:41:27,506 You know, she was going through those things. 867 00:41:27,590 --> 00:41:29,675 So we’re gonna write about it. 868 00:41:29,759 --> 00:41:31,135 And we’re gonna bring that out. 869 00:41:31,219 --> 00:41:33,596 (laughing) 870 00:41:33,679 --> 00:41:35,306 (Mary laughs) 871 00:41:35,389 --> 00:41:37,391 Bub. (laughing) 872 00:41:39,018 --> 00:41:41,103 (muffled): Okay, baby. 873 00:41:41,187 --> 00:41:42,688 I love you, Mary. 874 00:41:42,772 --> 00:41:45,942 How you doing? (laughs) 875 00:41:46,025 --> 00:41:48,444 -Good to see you, man. -Good to see you, baby. 876 00:41:48,527 --> 00:41:51,155 MARY: Being in the studio with you and doing those songs, 877 00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:52,740 it was healing, it was what I needed. 878 00:41:52,823 --> 00:41:55,451 And "Never Wanna Live" was just-- it makes me cry now. 879 00:41:55,534 --> 00:41:57,828 -"Don’t Go" makes me cry now. -Don’t start crying. 880 00:41:57,912 --> 00:41:59,288 -Nah, I’m not, I’m not. -Don’t-don’t start. 881 00:41:59,372 --> 00:42:01,207 -I’m-a try not to cry. -’Cause-’cause I’m telling you, 882 00:42:01,290 --> 00:42:03,084 my tears-- I’m holding back my tears 883 00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:05,711 ’cause we cried at the booth. 884 00:42:05,795 --> 00:42:07,421 I know. I remember that. 885 00:42:07,505 --> 00:42:09,006 I’ll never forget. Like this, look. 886 00:42:09,090 --> 00:42:11,008 -And I remember. I-I... -We was like, we was like this. 887 00:42:11,092 --> 00:42:13,844 -I remember that. -I was like, "Mary, it’s good." 888 00:42:13,928 --> 00:42:15,388 I said, "We good." 889 00:42:15,471 --> 00:42:17,390 But the song was so powerful. 890 00:42:17,473 --> 00:42:19,517 -Yeah. -Tears coming out our eyes, 891 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,811 and all I can see, you, like, nodding like... 892 00:42:22,812 --> 00:42:24,689 And I remember the pain in my stomach. 893 00:42:24,772 --> 00:42:27,400 Like, it was, it was like pain and joy all at the same time. 894 00:42:27,483 --> 00:42:28,651 -Mm. -I can’t describe it. 895 00:42:28,734 --> 00:42:29,944 I know I sound like a crazy person. 896 00:42:30,027 --> 00:42:31,612 -No, you do not. -But these are the things 897 00:42:31,696 --> 00:42:33,072 that I was feeling. 898 00:42:33,155 --> 00:42:35,449 Just from the beginning when it started. 899 00:42:35,533 --> 00:42:37,660 -♪ Can’t live with ♪ -("I Never Wanna Live Without You" playing) 900 00:42:37,743 --> 00:42:40,162 -It was like... -(humming) 901 00:42:40,246 --> 00:42:41,789 ♪ Can’t live without you, baby ♪ 902 00:42:41,872 --> 00:42:44,166 ♪ Live without you, baby... ♪ 903 00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:45,793 BIG BUB: She went to the core. 904 00:42:45,876 --> 00:42:48,879 It was cut-and-dry. 905 00:42:48,963 --> 00:42:52,008 It wasn’t no watering-- Let’s not water nothing down. 906 00:42:52,091 --> 00:42:55,636 Whatever you feeling, that’s what is going down. 907 00:42:55,720 --> 00:43:01,350 (over speakers): ♪ Love is so amazing ♪ 908 00:43:01,434 --> 00:43:05,271 ♪ I have a man that I want ♪ 909 00:43:05,354 --> 00:43:06,647 (laughing) 910 00:43:06,731 --> 00:43:08,482 ♪ I prayed so many nights for you ♪ 911 00:43:08,566 --> 00:43:10,151 Come on, you heard. 912 00:43:10,234 --> 00:43:13,612 ♪ And then my prayers came true of you ♪ 913 00:43:13,696 --> 00:43:15,614 (Big Bub vocalizing) 914 00:43:15,698 --> 00:43:19,285 ♪ Now that I have the answer ♪ 915 00:43:20,536 --> 00:43:24,415 ♪ I’ll be wishing on a star ♪ 916 00:43:24,498 --> 00:43:27,293 ♪ I’ll follow you where you are ♪ 917 00:43:27,376 --> 00:43:30,296 Oh! Oh! 918 00:43:30,379 --> 00:43:32,965 ♪ I don’t wanna be alone ♪ 919 00:43:34,175 --> 00:43:37,261 ♪ So, baby, let’s stay together ♪ 920 00:43:37,345 --> 00:43:38,888 ♪ Stay together ♪ 921 00:43:38,971 --> 00:43:42,224 ♪ Through any kind of weather, yeah ♪ 922 00:43:42,308 --> 00:43:43,809 -Oh, shit. -Mm-hmm. 923 00:43:43,893 --> 00:43:45,436 ♪ Let’s make a happy... ♪ 924 00:43:45,519 --> 00:43:47,313 Yes, I was begging! 925 00:43:47,396 --> 00:43:48,606 Yeah, you were for real with yours. 926 00:43:48,689 --> 00:43:52,026 ♪ Because you mean so much to me, baby ♪ 927 00:43:52,109 --> 00:43:56,739 ♪ That’s why I wanna be your lady ♪ 928 00:43:56,822 --> 00:43:58,824 (Big Bub whoops) 929 00:43:58,908 --> 00:44:00,785 Oh, I said my... 930 00:44:00,868 --> 00:44:02,453 Yo, that record there, man. 931 00:44:02,536 --> 00:44:03,871 That shit fucked me up. 932 00:44:03,954 --> 00:44:05,915 -And then "Don’t Go." -(song ends) 933 00:44:05,998 --> 00:44:08,250 I didn’t know it was gonna do anything. 934 00:44:08,334 --> 00:44:10,086 I-I thought I would be dead probably. 935 00:44:11,712 --> 00:44:14,131 I was in a dark place myself. 936 00:44:14,215 --> 00:44:17,218 I’m drinking more than ever. You know what I’m saying? 937 00:44:17,301 --> 00:44:18,469 I got money. 938 00:44:18,552 --> 00:44:21,597 I’m young with money, traveling the world. 939 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,517 And I was in a place where I was unhappy. 940 00:44:25,518 --> 00:44:28,437 So it made sense, like... 941 00:44:28,521 --> 00:44:30,356 "A’ight, come on, let’s get this out." 942 00:44:30,439 --> 00:44:33,901 You know what I’m saying? I’m-I’m torn apart, too. 943 00:44:33,984 --> 00:44:38,906 The only thing, I think, that kept us guided was the music, 944 00:44:38,989 --> 00:44:41,659 -because the music is the thing that felt good... -That’s right. 945 00:44:41,742 --> 00:44:43,619 -...whether you was too high or too low. -Mm-hmm. 946 00:44:43,702 --> 00:44:46,956 It just saved you, because it was all bitter then. 947 00:44:47,039 --> 00:44:48,791 It was-- everything was bitter, bitter, bitter. 948 00:44:48,874 --> 00:44:50,626 Oh, we was... we were dark. 949 00:44:50,709 --> 00:44:52,128 It was very dark. 950 00:44:54,130 --> 00:44:55,923 LISATH: When I first met Mary, 951 00:44:56,006 --> 00:44:58,217 we were both going through the same thing 952 00:44:58,300 --> 00:45:00,428 at the same time with brothers. 953 00:45:00,511 --> 00:45:02,221 ♪ ♪ 954 00:45:02,304 --> 00:45:05,808 They promised us love and happiness forever, 955 00:45:05,891 --> 00:45:07,977 and we’re gonna move away and have kids 956 00:45:08,060 --> 00:45:10,938 and have a family and... perfect. 957 00:45:11,981 --> 00:45:14,150 And it wasn’t perfect. 958 00:45:14,233 --> 00:45:16,068 I have to ask this really quickly. 959 00:45:16,152 --> 00:45:18,446 Uh, Jodeci were on the show, uh, earlier on in the series, 960 00:45:18,529 --> 00:45:20,197 and, uh, Terry asked K-Ci this question. 961 00:45:20,281 --> 00:45:22,116 Have a look at this. 962 00:45:22,199 --> 00:45:23,826 Now, you’re gonna break a few hearts because I-I’ve heard 963 00:45:23,909 --> 00:45:25,369 that y-you’re gonna marry Mary J. Blige, are you? 964 00:45:25,453 --> 00:45:27,246 Nah, nah, man. 965 00:45:27,329 --> 00:45:29,415 (crowd exclaiming) 966 00:45:29,498 --> 00:45:31,375 Nah, that’s-that’s... that’s a rumor. 967 00:45:31,459 --> 00:45:32,626 You know what I’m saying? 968 00:45:32,710 --> 00:45:34,295 That’s a rumor for the States, too, you know. 969 00:45:34,378 --> 00:45:36,464 K-Ci is not getting married, for the record. 970 00:45:36,547 --> 00:45:38,841 (crowd exclaiming, women screaming) 971 00:45:38,924 --> 00:45:41,093 So there’s no huge engagement ring? 972 00:45:41,177 --> 00:45:42,470 Oh, there-- yeah, whatever. 973 00:45:42,553 --> 00:45:43,804 -Whatever. -Let’s move on please. 974 00:45:43,888 --> 00:45:45,848 -Okay, but now... -I’m disgusted. 975 00:45:45,931 --> 00:45:47,475 LaTONYA: When stuff happened, I’d be like, 976 00:45:47,558 --> 00:45:49,935 "You need to throw-- kick him to the curb 977 00:45:50,019 --> 00:45:51,645 and go find somebody else." 978 00:45:51,729 --> 00:45:54,231 I surely was that sister saying that and everything. 979 00:45:54,315 --> 00:45:56,066 And I was like, "You’re better than that 980 00:45:56,150 --> 00:45:57,401 and you’re bigger than that." 981 00:45:57,485 --> 00:45:59,361 I-- Sorry, I’m not nice. 982 00:46:00,696 --> 00:46:03,908 I’m-I’m not the nice sister at all and everything. 983 00:46:03,991 --> 00:46:06,577 I surely was that sister like, "You know what? 984 00:46:06,660 --> 00:46:08,704 "You don’t need nobody treating you like this and everything. 985 00:46:08,787 --> 00:46:10,080 Now, you can do better." 986 00:46:10,164 --> 00:46:11,957 But it’s-- when-when you’re in love, 987 00:46:12,041 --> 00:46:13,501 you can’t hear that. 988 00:46:13,584 --> 00:46:14,877 You can’t hear any of that. 989 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,087 She just wanted somebody to love her, you know? 990 00:46:17,171 --> 00:46:20,758 That time, it was just such a sad time, you know? 991 00:46:20,841 --> 00:46:25,179 Um, and it was just back-to-back situations. 992 00:46:25,262 --> 00:46:27,973 Like, it just-- At one point, he came over, 993 00:46:28,057 --> 00:46:30,184 and he was filled with rage. 994 00:46:30,267 --> 00:46:31,393 He was upset. 995 00:46:31,477 --> 00:46:33,479 We don’t know why he was upset. 996 00:46:33,562 --> 00:46:36,690 And he started to physically attack her. 997 00:46:36,774 --> 00:46:40,319 I’ve had to physically fight for my life a lot, 998 00:46:40,402 --> 00:46:43,572 because just like my mom, I’m a fighter. 999 00:46:43,656 --> 00:46:47,868 My mom had to suffer a lot of physical abuse as well, 1000 00:46:47,952 --> 00:46:50,538 so as a little girl, I saw her-- 1001 00:46:50,621 --> 00:46:52,915 this little woman-- fighting. 1002 00:46:53,916 --> 00:46:55,876 So... when it all 1003 00:46:55,960 --> 00:47:00,047 started to happen to me, all I could think about was my mom. 1004 00:47:00,130 --> 00:47:02,007 -(crowd cheering) -(band playing "I’m Goin’ Down") 1005 00:47:02,091 --> 00:47:04,093 ♪ Time on my hands ♪ 1006 00:47:05,302 --> 00:47:07,680 ♪ Since you’ve been away, boy ♪ 1007 00:47:08,847 --> 00:47:10,933 CROWD: ♪ I ain’t got no plans... ♪ 1008 00:47:11,016 --> 00:47:13,018 It’s not simple or black-and-white 1009 00:47:13,102 --> 00:47:16,855 to just walk out the door when you’re just beyond insecure, 1010 00:47:16,939 --> 00:47:19,567 because you think that... 1011 00:47:19,650 --> 00:47:22,069 this is the best that you can get. 1012 00:47:22,152 --> 00:47:24,405 And now whatever you think is love, 1013 00:47:24,488 --> 00:47:27,741 which is silly infatuation, 1014 00:47:27,825 --> 00:47:29,994 is all you have to hold on to. 1015 00:47:30,077 --> 00:47:33,539 And no matter what bad happens, 1016 00:47:33,622 --> 00:47:35,249 you don’t want to let this person go 1017 00:47:35,332 --> 00:47:38,752 because you feel like he validates you 1018 00:47:38,836 --> 00:47:40,546 or he makes you feel... 1019 00:47:42,298 --> 00:47:45,467 ...like, I guess, he loves you, but-but he-- 1020 00:47:45,551 --> 00:47:47,052 It’s-it’s the craziest thing. 1021 00:47:47,136 --> 00:47:51,515 I-I will never understand why we stay so long. 1022 00:47:51,599 --> 00:47:53,267 And I guess it’s be-- and the insecurity 1023 00:47:53,350 --> 00:47:56,604 just makes you think, "This is it." 1024 00:47:56,687 --> 00:47:59,773 CROWD: ♪ I’m going down ♪ 1025 00:48:00,816 --> 00:48:03,444 ♪ I’m going down ♪ 1026 00:48:03,527 --> 00:48:07,698 ♪ ’Cause you ain’t around, baby ♪ 1027 00:48:07,781 --> 00:48:13,621 ♪ My whole world’s upside down ♪ 1028 00:48:13,704 --> 00:48:16,665 ♪ My whole world’s upside down ♪ 1029 00:48:16,749 --> 00:48:18,792 ♪ I don’t know what to do with myself ♪ 1030 00:48:18,876 --> 00:48:20,794 ♪ I got too much time ♪ 1031 00:48:20,878 --> 00:48:23,130 ♪ Too much time on my hand, y’all, yeah ♪ 1032 00:48:23,213 --> 00:48:25,883 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1033 00:48:25,966 --> 00:48:28,177 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1034 00:48:28,260 --> 00:48:31,305 ♪ Now, now I don’t know what I’d do ♪ 1035 00:48:31,388 --> 00:48:35,559 ♪ If I ever lose you ♪ 1036 00:48:35,643 --> 00:48:39,313 ♪ I’ll be going down ♪ 1037 00:48:39,396 --> 00:48:41,982 ♪ Yeah, I said I’ll be going down ♪ 1038 00:48:42,066 --> 00:48:44,109 ♪ Down, down, down, down ♪ 1039 00:48:44,193 --> 00:48:48,030 ♪ Oh, no, don’t go, don’t go ♪ 1040 00:48:48,113 --> 00:48:51,325 ♪ Please forgive me, baby ♪ 1041 00:48:51,408 --> 00:48:55,788 ♪ But I’m not sorry, I’m not sorry, I’m not sorry ♪ 1042 00:48:55,871 --> 00:48:59,083 ♪ I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not ♪ 1043 00:48:59,166 --> 00:49:00,918 -♪ I’m not, I’m not, I’m not ♪ -(crowd cheering) 1044 00:49:01,001 --> 00:49:04,546 ♪ I’m not sorry. ♪ 1045 00:49:04,630 --> 00:49:06,632 (band playing flourish) 1046 00:49:10,552 --> 00:49:12,179 (music and cheering fades) 1047 00:49:12,262 --> 00:49:14,932 The only thing that’s gonna fix your life 1048 00:49:15,015 --> 00:49:17,017 is you learning how to love yourself. 1049 00:49:17,101 --> 00:49:19,395 And there was no love. There was no self-love. 1050 00:49:19,478 --> 00:49:21,480 ♪ ♪ 1051 00:49:23,190 --> 00:49:27,611 It was just a dark-- one big giant hole of darkness, 1052 00:49:27,695 --> 00:49:31,198 and that depression from that relationship 1053 00:49:31,281 --> 00:49:34,993 rewinded life and brought back a whole bunch of other stuff 1054 00:49:35,077 --> 00:49:38,288 that I never dealt with from things that happened to me 1055 00:49:38,372 --> 00:49:41,333 as a child, a little girl. 1056 00:49:41,417 --> 00:49:45,754 So it was a snowball, like, effect, like a-a avalanche, 1057 00:49:45,838 --> 00:49:48,507 like a big snowball picking up things, 1058 00:49:48,590 --> 00:49:51,218 you know, rolling right into my life, 1059 00:49:51,301 --> 00:49:55,639 and it landed me in, like, a really dark, depressed place. 1060 00:50:00,018 --> 00:50:02,855 I-I was just trying to drink my life away, 1061 00:50:02,938 --> 00:50:05,274 take drugs till I die, whatever it was. 1062 00:50:06,900 --> 00:50:08,652 Most of the times, I was just depressed 1063 00:50:08,736 --> 00:50:10,571 and didn’t want to live. 1064 00:50:12,614 --> 00:50:14,408 I stayed away from my mother 1065 00:50:14,491 --> 00:50:16,243 because I didn’t want her to see me like that. 1066 00:50:16,326 --> 00:50:17,661 I didn’t want my sister-- 1067 00:50:17,745 --> 00:50:19,121 I didn’t want anybody to see me like that, 1068 00:50:19,204 --> 00:50:24,293 ’cause I was falling completely off the planet. 1069 00:50:29,339 --> 00:50:32,092 That feeling of you’re screaming, 1070 00:50:32,176 --> 00:50:36,305 but everybody around you is like, "Oh, you know, it’s okay," 1071 00:50:36,388 --> 00:50:38,932 because you can’t really tell everybody what’s going on. 1072 00:50:39,016 --> 00:50:41,518 And you’re screaming and nothing’s coming out. 1073 00:50:41,602 --> 00:50:44,605 ("My Life" playing, Mary vocalizing) 1074 00:50:48,233 --> 00:50:50,527 That was all just inspired from her when she started 1075 00:50:50,611 --> 00:50:53,155 picking up the pen and the pad and started writing 1076 00:50:53,238 --> 00:50:55,407 what was in her heart. 1077 00:50:55,491 --> 00:50:57,701 Um... 1078 00:50:57,785 --> 00:51:00,537 She-- I mean, I mean, she was fighting for her heart. 1079 00:51:01,872 --> 00:51:04,541 When she made that album, she was fighting for her heart. 1080 00:51:04,625 --> 00:51:07,878 (Mary vocalizing) 1081 00:51:07,961 --> 00:51:09,296 ♪ My life, my life... ♪ 1082 00:51:09,379 --> 00:51:11,089 MARY: My life is not in the sunshine. 1083 00:51:11,173 --> 00:51:13,342 My life is hell. 1084 00:51:13,425 --> 00:51:17,179 My life is me not being able to get things out of my head from-- 1085 00:51:17,262 --> 00:51:19,264 that happened to me, not-not being able 1086 00:51:19,348 --> 00:51:21,517 to get being molested out of my head. 1087 00:51:22,851 --> 00:51:25,521 From a childhood, from being five years old. 1088 00:51:25,604 --> 00:51:27,856 Other things that happened that I will not discuss. 1089 00:51:27,940 --> 00:51:29,733 Just so many things happening to a little girl. 1090 00:51:29,817 --> 00:51:30,984 ♪ In the sunshine ♪ 1091 00:51:31,068 --> 00:51:32,528 ♪ Life can be ♪ 1092 00:51:32,611 --> 00:51:37,324 ♪ Only what you make it ♪ 1093 00:51:37,407 --> 00:51:39,660 ♪ When you’re feeling down ♪ 1094 00:51:39,743 --> 00:51:42,079 ♪ You should never fake it... ♪ 1095 00:51:42,162 --> 00:51:44,540 But that’s why I had that pen. 1096 00:51:44,623 --> 00:51:46,792 And that’s why I had, I had it all inside, 1097 00:51:46,875 --> 00:51:51,547 and I was able to put it on, you know... to sing it. 1098 00:51:51,630 --> 00:51:53,632 I was able to sing it and write it. 1099 00:51:54,716 --> 00:51:57,803 ♪ It will all decease... ♪ 1100 00:51:57,886 --> 00:51:59,471 It was the only way to survive. 1101 00:51:59,555 --> 00:52:02,683 It was the only way to... 1102 00:52:02,766 --> 00:52:04,935 get through what I was getting through. 1103 00:52:06,186 --> 00:52:07,646 (Mary vocalizing) 1104 00:52:07,729 --> 00:52:09,731 (over speakers): ♪ If you looked at my life ♪ 1105 00:52:09,815 --> 00:52:11,733 ♪ And see what I see ♪ 1106 00:52:11,817 --> 00:52:14,027 ♪ All you got to do is ♪ 1107 00:52:14,111 --> 00:52:16,029 ♪ If you looked at my life... ♪ 1108 00:52:16,113 --> 00:52:18,532 ♪ Take your time, one day at a time ♪ 1109 00:52:18,615 --> 00:52:20,826 ♪ It’s all on you, what you gonna do... ♪ 1110 00:52:20,909 --> 00:52:22,911 (shouts) Stop, stop! Stop. 1111 00:52:22,995 --> 00:52:24,288 -♪ And see what I see... ♪ -(music stops) 1112 00:52:24,371 --> 00:52:26,123 That shit is scaring the shit out of me right now. 1113 00:52:26,206 --> 00:52:27,708 -(Thompson chuckles) -That shit’s just 1114 00:52:27,791 --> 00:52:29,418 -fucking scaring the shit out of me. -Yo, man. 1115 00:52:29,501 --> 00:52:33,714 It’s like... "Take your time, one day at a time. 1116 00:52:33,797 --> 00:52:36,633 -It’s all on you. What you gonna do?" -Yeah. Mm. 1117 00:52:36,717 --> 00:52:38,844 ♪ My ladies, check me out ♪ 1118 00:52:38,927 --> 00:52:40,762 (band playing "My Life") 1119 00:52:40,846 --> 00:52:43,974 ♪ I got something I want y’all to hear, see, you see ♪ 1120 00:52:44,057 --> 00:52:47,144 ♪ It gets so lonely sometimes ♪ 1121 00:52:47,227 --> 00:52:49,521 ♪ But that’s my choice ♪ 1122 00:52:49,605 --> 00:52:51,815 ♪ I’d rather be by myself ♪ 1123 00:52:51,899 --> 00:52:53,483 (crowd cheering) 1124 00:52:53,567 --> 00:52:55,903 ♪ Than to be going through some more hell ♪ 1125 00:52:55,986 --> 00:52:59,281 ♪ I’d rather go through the fire, y’all ♪ 1126 00:52:59,364 --> 00:53:01,742 ♪ Than to live in denial... ♪ 1127 00:53:01,825 --> 00:53:06,121 That’s me thinking those lyrics before I check out, 1128 00:53:06,204 --> 00:53:07,998 because I-- you know, those were those times 1129 00:53:08,081 --> 00:53:09,583 when I felt like that. 1130 00:53:09,666 --> 00:53:12,711 ♪ I’m talking ’bout getting it together ♪ 1131 00:53:12,794 --> 00:53:13,962 ♪ Yeah, oh... ♪ 1132 00:53:14,046 --> 00:53:17,883 I was writing just to-to-to get free 1133 00:53:17,966 --> 00:53:20,427 so I can move around and I wasn’t in so much bondage 1134 00:53:20,510 --> 00:53:22,971 and I wasn’t in-- and I won’t be stuck. 1135 00:53:23,055 --> 00:53:25,390 And I was literally writing for my life. 1136 00:53:25,474 --> 00:53:27,142 ♪ Let it burn, let it burn ♪ 1137 00:53:27,225 --> 00:53:28,936 -♪ Let it burn, let it burn ♪ -(crowd cheering) 1138 00:53:29,019 --> 00:53:31,521 ♪ Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn ♪ 1139 00:53:31,605 --> 00:53:32,981 ♪ Let it burn, let it burn... ♪ 1140 00:53:33,065 --> 00:53:35,108 No matter how bad it hurts dealing with the truth, 1141 00:53:35,192 --> 00:53:38,320 whatever the truth is, that’s how you get to the core. 1142 00:53:38,403 --> 00:53:40,155 You got to feel it to heal. 1143 00:53:40,238 --> 00:53:41,782 -(scatting) -♪ If you looked at my life ♪ 1144 00:53:41,865 --> 00:53:43,742 ♪ And see what I see ♪ 1145 00:53:43,825 --> 00:53:46,703 ♪ I... I had to let it burn, y’all ♪ 1146 00:53:46,787 --> 00:53:49,581 ♪ Let it burn, y’all, let it burn ♪ 1147 00:53:49,665 --> 00:53:54,711 ♪ Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn ♪ 1148 00:53:54,795 --> 00:53:57,506 ♪ Burn! ♪ 1149 00:53:58,715 --> 00:54:03,804 ♪ My life is just like your life ♪ 1150 00:54:03,887 --> 00:54:05,555 ♪ Oh ♪ 1151 00:54:05,639 --> 00:54:08,642 ♪ All the time ♪ 1152 00:54:08,725 --> 00:54:10,894 ♪ If you looked at my life and see what I see ♪ 1153 00:54:10,978 --> 00:54:12,729 ♪ See, I had to let it burn ♪ 1154 00:54:12,813 --> 00:54:14,940 ♪ I had to let it burn ♪ 1155 00:54:15,023 --> 00:54:16,942 ♪ Sometimes you got to let it burn ♪ 1156 00:54:17,025 --> 00:54:18,276 ♪ Sometimes you got to let it ♪ 1157 00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:19,987 -♪ I had to let it burn ♪ -(music ends) 1158 00:54:20,070 --> 00:54:21,655 ♪ All the way down to the ground ♪ 1159 00:54:21,738 --> 00:54:23,407 ♪ And start over new. ♪ 1160 00:54:23,490 --> 00:54:26,243 (crowd cheering) 1161 00:54:32,833 --> 00:54:34,835 ♪ ♪ 1162 00:54:38,213 --> 00:54:41,258 I just wanted you to know that, in case you ever thought 1163 00:54:41,341 --> 00:54:44,553 that what you was doing is not saving somebody... 1164 00:54:44,636 --> 00:54:48,432 -Wow. -...that you need to know that you saved my life. 1165 00:54:48,515 --> 00:54:51,643 -Wow. -I tried to jump and I couldn’t, 1166 00:54:51,727 --> 00:54:54,396 ’cause I heard your voice that you can’t hold a good woman down 1167 00:54:54,479 --> 00:54:55,897 and I thank you. 1168 00:54:55,981 --> 00:54:58,316 -And I love you. -Come on. 1169 00:55:00,652 --> 00:55:01,862 (camera clicks) 1170 00:55:03,030 --> 00:55:04,698 -Thank you so much. -Stay strong. 1171 00:55:04,781 --> 00:55:06,366 -I am, and I’m gonna follow... -And you look beautiful. 1172 00:55:06,450 --> 00:55:07,451 Thank you so much. 1173 00:55:07,534 --> 00:55:08,744 -You’re welcome. -God bless you. 1174 00:55:08,827 --> 00:55:11,288 HYLTON: Mary went to those deep dark places 1175 00:55:11,371 --> 00:55:13,790 that we-- a lot of times, we don’t want to admit 1176 00:55:13,874 --> 00:55:16,501 that we feel this way, and we don’t want to even go there. 1177 00:55:16,585 --> 00:55:20,464 It’s just too scary, uh, to be, uh, 1178 00:55:20,547 --> 00:55:22,841 that raw and to 1179 00:55:22,924 --> 00:55:25,844 let the world know, like, "I’m hurting. I’m confused. 1180 00:55:25,927 --> 00:55:28,472 "I don’t know what to do. I’m so sad. 1181 00:55:28,555 --> 00:55:29,890 I feel lonely." 1182 00:55:32,017 --> 00:55:34,603 -I think growing up in general is just rough. -MAN: Mm. 1183 00:55:34,686 --> 00:55:37,022 It’s really rough, and just trying to, like, 1184 00:55:37,105 --> 00:55:39,149 find out who you are and then having people 1185 00:55:39,232 --> 00:55:40,776 tell you who you are at the same time 1186 00:55:40,859 --> 00:55:42,694 -is just really frustrating. -WOMAN: Mm-hmm. 1187 00:55:42,778 --> 00:55:45,322 So, um... 1188 00:55:45,405 --> 00:55:49,159 My Life was kind of just like, yo, like, somebody, like, 1189 00:55:49,242 --> 00:55:51,661 somebody out there is feeling that exact same way. 1190 00:55:51,745 --> 00:55:53,747 Because, like, whenever you’re going through something, like, 1191 00:55:53,830 --> 00:55:55,749 automatically you-you feel alone, 1192 00:55:55,832 --> 00:55:57,501 you feel like no one gets it, you feel like no one 1193 00:55:57,584 --> 00:56:00,128 in the world can ever go through that experience, 1194 00:56:00,212 --> 00:56:03,882 and then it’s like Mary-Mary, she’s right here. 1195 00:56:03,965 --> 00:56:06,301 She’s telling me, like, "Hey, you’re not by yourself. 1196 00:56:06,384 --> 00:56:07,636 You can get through this." 1197 00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:10,889 So, My Life, like, for me, just felt like 1198 00:56:10,972 --> 00:56:13,767 it was just an anthem to be strong and to just keep 1199 00:56:13,850 --> 00:56:16,394 pushing through, like, whatever it is that you’re going through. 1200 00:56:16,478 --> 00:56:18,230 (others murmur quietly) 1201 00:56:18,313 --> 00:56:19,815 WOMAN: You know, I was always one of these people 1202 00:56:19,898 --> 00:56:23,276 that could not tell the truth, 1203 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:26,279 especially if it was painful 1204 00:56:26,363 --> 00:56:31,618 or I had to put on this façade that I was this strong woman, 1205 00:56:31,701 --> 00:56:34,830 and inside I was just, like, breaking up, 1206 00:56:34,913 --> 00:56:37,624 like this big hole was inside of me. 1207 00:56:37,707 --> 00:56:42,420 And I was like, "Damn, when-when is this ever going to change?" 1208 00:56:42,504 --> 00:56:47,342 And that part when she said, "You don’t have to fake it," 1209 00:56:47,425 --> 00:56:50,303 I was like, "Oh, you don’t?" 1210 00:56:50,387 --> 00:56:53,640 Like, you really could be authentic. 1211 00:56:53,723 --> 00:56:55,016 MAN: Mm. 1212 00:56:55,100 --> 00:56:57,144 -I love her so much. -WOMAN: Me, too. 1213 00:56:57,227 --> 00:57:00,480 MAN: When I was, like, 13, 14, 1214 00:57:00,564 --> 00:57:03,984 those songs like "My Life," you know, held me together. 1215 00:57:04,067 --> 00:57:05,819 -WOMAN: Yes. -And... 1216 00:57:05,902 --> 00:57:08,029 I was going through a lot, you know. 1217 00:57:08,113 --> 00:57:10,157 Like, why would a kid be going through a lot? 1218 00:57:10,240 --> 00:57:11,783 Well, I was going through a lot of-- 1219 00:57:11,867 --> 00:57:14,953 I went through a lot of trauma growing up, a lot of abuse. 1220 00:57:15,036 --> 00:57:17,038 So... 1221 00:57:17,122 --> 00:57:18,915 it... 1222 00:57:18,999 --> 00:57:22,586 The-the song "My Life" in particular made... 1223 00:57:22,669 --> 00:57:24,713 for the first time in my life, made me feel like 1224 00:57:24,796 --> 00:57:26,590 I could relate to somebody. 1225 00:57:26,673 --> 00:57:28,758 And... 1226 00:57:28,842 --> 00:57:31,928 I also want to share that, at one point in my life-- 1227 00:57:32,012 --> 00:57:35,640 I think I was, like, 16-- I was about to commit suicide. 1228 00:57:35,724 --> 00:57:40,437 It was... I was being picked on for being, you know, a big guy, 1229 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:45,358 for being myself, and, you know, being gay or whatnot, 1230 00:57:45,442 --> 00:57:47,944 and it was just all too much. 1231 00:57:48,028 --> 00:57:50,405 And... 1232 00:57:50,488 --> 00:57:54,284 it was that song, "My Life," that helped me 1233 00:57:54,367 --> 00:57:56,578 to not actually go through with that. 1234 00:57:56,661 --> 00:57:58,747 -MAN: That’s awesome. -Yeah. -WOMAN: Beautiful. 1235 00:58:03,376 --> 00:58:05,587 MARY: I want the fans to understand how important 1236 00:58:05,670 --> 00:58:07,380 they are to me, 1237 00:58:07,464 --> 00:58:09,716 ’cause I didn’t think I would even make it 1238 00:58:09,799 --> 00:58:12,260 to see this day during that time. 1239 00:58:12,344 --> 00:58:14,262 I didn’t think I was gonna live. 1240 00:58:14,346 --> 00:58:16,056 ♪ ♪ 1241 00:58:16,139 --> 00:58:21,019 But something happened one day when it was just too much. 1242 00:58:21,102 --> 00:58:24,773 I was sitting in my living room. I had been up all night long. 1243 00:58:24,856 --> 00:58:28,318 And... it looked like the window opening. 1244 00:58:28,401 --> 00:58:30,362 All these clouds came in. 1245 00:58:30,445 --> 00:58:32,864 I was just high out of my mind. 1246 00:58:34,491 --> 00:58:37,077 And my heart started racing, and it was a Sunday morning. 1247 00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,246 I always feel strange on a Sunday morning. 1248 00:58:39,329 --> 00:58:42,540 I always feel like God can see, really see what I’m doing. 1249 00:58:42,624 --> 00:58:44,542 And I was like, "I don’t want to do this. 1250 00:58:44,626 --> 00:58:46,628 I-I got to stop doing this." 1251 00:58:47,796 --> 00:58:49,589 Either you choose life or you choose death, 1252 00:58:49,673 --> 00:58:53,510 and I chose life, and it wasn’t even so much me 1253 00:58:53,593 --> 00:58:55,887 that was important to me, it was my fans. 1254 00:58:55,971 --> 00:58:57,514 They bought the album. 1255 00:58:57,597 --> 00:58:59,266 They listened to what I had to say. 1256 00:58:59,349 --> 00:59:01,518 They said, "Me, too, Mary," and that was it. 1257 00:59:01,601 --> 00:59:03,520 That was the beginning of our relationship, 1258 00:59:03,603 --> 00:59:05,689 and I think that’s what-what I needed. 1259 00:59:05,772 --> 00:59:09,484 I needed someone to understand. 1260 00:59:11,152 --> 00:59:13,154 ’Cause it seemed like no one ever did. 1261 00:59:15,782 --> 00:59:20,120 They help me to sustain and want to live 1262 00:59:20,203 --> 00:59:22,831 and survive on my journey. 1263 00:59:22,914 --> 00:59:26,501 We did something really great and really powerful, 1264 00:59:26,584 --> 00:59:30,797 uh, inspiring each other, by inspiring... 1265 00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:34,551 each other to want to live to see another day. 1266 00:59:36,011 --> 00:59:40,265 So I just want people to just... know that they-they’re not-- 1267 00:59:40,348 --> 00:59:42,517 when you think you’re alone, you’re not alone. 1268 00:59:44,185 --> 00:59:47,647 We-we soldiers out here, all of us. 1269 00:59:47,731 --> 00:59:50,775 We got a job to fight, and we all in the fight together. 1270 00:59:52,193 --> 00:59:54,321 -(band playing "You Gotta Believe") -Come on, y’all. 1271 00:59:54,404 --> 00:59:55,530 -♪ Never hurt you ♪ -(crowd cheering) 1272 00:59:55,613 --> 00:59:58,158 ♪ I told you once before ♪ 1273 00:59:58,241 --> 01:00:01,953 ♪ That I love you and I need you ♪ 1274 01:00:02,037 --> 01:00:05,415 ♪ But let me tell you once again ♪ 1275 01:00:05,498 --> 01:00:09,169 ♪ You were my closest friend ♪ 1276 01:00:09,252 --> 01:00:12,297 ♪ I’ll never leave you ♪ 1277 01:00:12,380 --> 01:00:15,884 ♪ So hold me tight all through the night ♪ 1278 01:00:15,967 --> 01:00:19,346 ♪ Caress me with your tender care ♪ 1279 01:00:19,429 --> 01:00:24,267 ♪ Anytime or anywhere... ♪ 1280 01:00:24,351 --> 01:00:26,353 TYLER PERRY: Her gift and her singing 1281 01:00:26,436 --> 01:00:28,563 and the way she sings and where it comes from, 1282 01:00:28,646 --> 01:00:30,106 her gut was born out of trauma. 1283 01:00:30,190 --> 01:00:31,858 -♪ In me, baby ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ 1284 01:00:31,941 --> 01:00:33,318 ♪ Stay with... ♪ 1285 01:00:33,401 --> 01:00:35,570 It’s like having a balloon where you’re filling it 1286 01:00:35,653 --> 01:00:37,864 with trauma and pain and just so much, so much, so much, so much. 1287 01:00:37,947 --> 01:00:39,282 You got to let it out. 1288 01:00:39,366 --> 01:00:41,284 And you can put a pin in it and... 1289 01:00:41,368 --> 01:00:42,994 and blow up the whole world-- 1290 01:00:43,078 --> 01:00:46,414 which-which Mary will do if you really piss her off. 1291 01:00:46,498 --> 01:00:49,209 She will burn up the damn house with her "in it to get you" 1292 01:00:49,292 --> 01:00:51,628 if you go at her, and I, and I know that. 1293 01:00:51,711 --> 01:00:54,339 But-but to have that moment 1294 01:00:54,422 --> 01:00:56,966 where you take the edge of the balloon and you let the air out 1295 01:00:57,050 --> 01:01:00,011 a little bit at a time so you don’t destroy everything, 1296 01:01:00,095 --> 01:01:01,388 it’s almost primal. 1297 01:01:01,471 --> 01:01:04,265 It’s almost the little girl crying out. 1298 01:01:04,349 --> 01:01:05,850 But it’s such a beautiful thing 1299 01:01:05,934 --> 01:01:07,435 because there’s so much healing in it. 1300 01:01:07,519 --> 01:01:10,438 ♪ Please, baby, take my hand ♪ 1301 01:01:10,522 --> 01:01:13,608 ♪ I don’t need another man ♪ 1302 01:01:13,691 --> 01:01:17,112 ♪ But if you wanna hold on tight ♪ 1303 01:01:17,195 --> 01:01:20,031 ♪ You cannot be afraid ♪ 1304 01:01:20,115 --> 01:01:22,867 -♪ You gotta believe... ♪ -(song fades) 1305 01:01:22,951 --> 01:01:25,662 (woman speaking indistinctly over TV) 1306 01:01:25,745 --> 01:01:27,872 MARY: Oh! 1307 01:01:27,956 --> 01:01:29,791 (chuckles) Who is that? 1308 01:01:29,874 --> 01:01:31,209 -That’s my baby. -Cute little Mary. 1309 01:01:31,292 --> 01:01:33,211 Look at my little girl. 1310 01:01:33,294 --> 01:01:35,255 Oh, my God. 1311 01:01:35,338 --> 01:01:37,465 WOMAN: ...just the title track, "My Life," I thought that was... 1312 01:01:37,549 --> 01:01:40,593 I know. The picture’s all fat, and I look like Skeletor. 1313 01:01:40,677 --> 01:01:41,886 -No, you don’t. -(laughs) 1314 01:01:41,970 --> 01:01:43,388 You’re so cute. 1315 01:01:43,471 --> 01:01:44,973 WOMAN: ...just about what you were going through. 1316 01:01:45,056 --> 01:01:46,975 You look like you’re giving her that eye. 1317 01:01:47,058 --> 01:01:48,852 WOMAN: ...but again, running to your emotion. 1318 01:01:48,935 --> 01:01:51,312 Well, I wrote it when I was in... 1319 01:01:51,396 --> 01:01:53,481 I was living-- I first moved to Jersey. 1320 01:01:53,565 --> 01:01:56,776 Uh, that’s when I started the second album in summer. 1321 01:01:56,860 --> 01:01:59,946 And I wrote it through just watching... 1322 01:02:00,947 --> 01:02:02,657 ...even as I was little, 1323 01:02:02,740 --> 01:02:06,411 watching people, couples or whatever go through... 1324 01:02:06,494 --> 01:02:09,289 Looking at my face, I probably didn’t like the interviewer. 1325 01:02:09,372 --> 01:02:13,543 -Mm-hmm. -And, um, I didn’t want to give her everything. 1326 01:02:13,626 --> 01:02:17,422 I didn’t want to tell her what I was really dealing with, 1327 01:02:17,505 --> 01:02:19,257 because it was none of her fucking business. 1328 01:02:19,340 --> 01:02:21,885 -And I was really, really mean then. -(laughs) 1329 01:02:21,968 --> 01:02:25,054 So if it was some energy that I picked up that was wrong, 1330 01:02:25,138 --> 01:02:27,557 I was, I-I... I withheld. 1331 01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,435 I didn’t want her to know where all the shit really came from. 1332 01:02:30,518 --> 01:02:32,437 It was, "It’s none of your fucking business." 1333 01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:34,689 -You understand? -WOMAN: Wait, is it-- like what? 1334 01:02:34,772 --> 01:02:36,941 -Going through what, though? -Whatever. 1335 01:02:37,025 --> 01:02:38,276 You know what I’m saying? 1336 01:02:38,359 --> 01:02:40,153 Whatever it may be. 1337 01:02:40,236 --> 01:02:42,655 MARY: That’s my child and that’s who I protect, you know? 1338 01:02:42,739 --> 01:02:44,282 That-that girl right there 1339 01:02:44,365 --> 01:02:47,702 and little five-year-old Mary I protect today. 1340 01:02:47,785 --> 01:02:49,704 -You know what I’m saying? -WOMAN: I do. 1341 01:02:49,787 --> 01:02:51,039 Never mind. You don’t understand. 1342 01:02:51,122 --> 01:02:52,415 (laughter) 1343 01:02:52,499 --> 01:02:55,001 LaTONYA: Yeah, you told her the deal. 1344 01:02:55,084 --> 01:02:57,212 But deal with it and not pry. 1345 01:02:57,295 --> 01:02:59,506 -Just leading now a little too deep. -LISATH: Wow. 1346 01:02:59,589 --> 01:03:01,007 Wow. 1347 01:03:02,842 --> 01:03:06,846 I’ve always had a thing where my intuition was strong, 1348 01:03:06,930 --> 01:03:11,184 and it would make me go into a pr-protection mode. 1349 01:03:11,267 --> 01:03:15,063 And that’s what I’m doing there, because I didn’t know I was me. 1350 01:03:16,439 --> 01:03:19,442 -Damn, that shit make me want to cry. -Mm. 1351 01:03:19,526 --> 01:03:20,735 I didn’t know I was me. 1352 01:03:20,818 --> 01:03:23,738 I didn’t know I was this Mary J. Blige 1353 01:03:23,821 --> 01:03:25,406 that was gonna have this much courage, 1354 01:03:25,490 --> 01:03:27,116 that was gonna do all these things. 1355 01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:30,495 I didn’t know I was me, so I guess that happens 1356 01:03:30,578 --> 01:03:32,872 when you grow up in an environment 1357 01:03:32,956 --> 01:03:34,958 where little girls are not safe. 1358 01:03:36,292 --> 01:03:37,835 Little girls are not safe and you... 1359 01:03:37,919 --> 01:03:40,046 -Yeah, it’s just instincts, yeah. -Yeah. 1360 01:03:40,129 --> 01:03:42,632 And that’s why my gut is God. 1361 01:03:42,715 --> 01:03:44,592 ♪ ♪ 1362 01:03:44,676 --> 01:03:47,220 I didn’t know I was me. 1363 01:03:47,303 --> 01:03:50,682 But I was me. That’s why I was able to do what I did. 1364 01:03:50,765 --> 01:03:53,643 I was always this person. 1365 01:03:53,726 --> 01:03:55,353 Just didn’t know it. 1366 01:03:57,564 --> 01:04:01,484 It’s about you sitting and knowing that, 1367 01:04:01,568 --> 01:04:04,028 in your gut, there’s God. 1368 01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:11,327 God is love. 1369 01:04:11,411 --> 01:04:16,499 God is you making decisions on what-what do you want to do, 1370 01:04:16,583 --> 01:04:18,918 what you want to be. 1371 01:04:19,002 --> 01:04:20,628 You know, I-- even if I’m afraid, 1372 01:04:20,712 --> 01:04:24,382 I got to keep moving afraid, as long as I get out there. 1373 01:04:24,465 --> 01:04:27,969 And once you, you know, pass the fear threshold, 1374 01:04:28,052 --> 01:04:30,763 it’s over, game over, you know? 1375 01:04:30,847 --> 01:04:32,473 You can do anything. 1376 01:04:34,851 --> 01:04:36,811 (band playing "Mary Jane (All Night Long)") 1377 01:04:36,894 --> 01:04:38,813 (crowd cheering) 1378 01:04:38,896 --> 01:04:41,649 Happy 25th anniversary 1379 01:04:41,733 --> 01:04:43,943 to the My Life album! 1380 01:04:45,153 --> 01:04:46,237 Here we go. 1381 01:04:46,321 --> 01:04:49,741 ♪ Ooh, baby ♪ 1382 01:04:49,824 --> 01:04:52,201 ♪ Not tonight ♪ 1383 01:04:52,285 --> 01:04:54,495 ♪ I don’t wanna fuss and fight ♪ 1384 01:04:54,579 --> 01:04:58,458 ♪ I just wanna make it right ♪ 1385 01:04:58,541 --> 01:05:02,545 ♪ Ooh, there’s work to do ♪ 1386 01:05:02,629 --> 01:05:04,714 ♪ I wanna get real close to you ♪ 1387 01:05:04,797 --> 01:05:08,176 -♪ I wanna get you in the ♪ -♪ Mood ♪ 1388 01:05:08,259 --> 01:05:11,721 ♪ All the things you want to do ♪ 1389 01:05:12,722 --> 01:05:15,725 ♪ Just relax and ♪ 1390 01:05:15,808 --> 01:05:18,186 CROWD: ♪ I’ll take care of you. ♪ 1391 01:05:18,269 --> 01:05:20,146 (song fades) 1392 01:05:20,229 --> 01:05:21,773 XENOS: I didn’t discover My Life 1393 01:05:21,856 --> 01:05:23,858 until I was about 16, 17, 1394 01:05:23,941 --> 01:05:26,444 going through some of the hardest times of my life. 1395 01:05:26,527 --> 01:05:28,154 I would digest the lyrics and listen to it. 1396 01:05:28,237 --> 01:05:29,822 -I’m like, "My aunt wrote that." -(others murmuring) 1397 01:05:29,906 --> 01:05:31,783 And I felt like, you know, even though you wrote it 1398 01:05:31,866 --> 01:05:33,618 for the masses, you wrote it for yourself, 1399 01:05:33,701 --> 01:05:35,912 I felt like, every time I listened to it, it’s for me. 1400 01:05:35,995 --> 01:05:38,790 Yeah, but Little Xe, I didn’t write it for the masses. 1401 01:05:38,873 --> 01:05:41,793 I write it-- I wrote it because I needed to write it. 1402 01:05:41,876 --> 01:05:44,545 -Right. -I-- That whole album was a cry for help. 1403 01:05:44,629 --> 01:05:46,130 -Auntie needed help. -LaTONYA: Mm. 1404 01:05:46,214 --> 01:05:49,467 So everything you feel is what I was really, really feeling. 1405 01:05:49,550 --> 01:05:51,344 -XENOS SR.: Right. -You know, I really wanted to be happy. 1406 01:05:51,427 --> 01:05:53,554 Everything I wanted to be, I was like, "I want to be happy." 1407 01:05:53,638 --> 01:05:54,972 -LaTONYA: Mm-hmm. -Or, "I want this man 1408 01:05:55,056 --> 01:05:56,516 -to like me a whole lot." -(chuckles) 1409 01:05:56,599 --> 01:05:59,143 So I didn’t realize I wanted me to like me a whole lot. 1410 01:05:59,227 --> 01:06:00,436 -Yeah. -Right. -Wow. 1411 01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:02,939 What I realize at this stage in my life, 1412 01:06:03,022 --> 01:06:06,401 it’s not for me to go through these things 1413 01:06:06,484 --> 01:06:08,111 and come out bitter. 1414 01:06:08,194 --> 01:06:10,571 It’s to come out better and forgiveness. 1415 01:06:10,655 --> 01:06:12,240 So the choices of now 1416 01:06:12,323 --> 01:06:14,200 is life can be only what you make it, for real. 1417 01:06:14,283 --> 01:06:16,035 ♪ ♪ 1418 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:24,669 There’s something about sadness 1419 01:06:24,752 --> 01:06:28,005 that makes you happy when you’ve overcome, 1420 01:06:28,089 --> 01:06:30,675 and something about the sadness in that album, 1421 01:06:30,758 --> 01:06:32,927 it’s very triumphant now. 1422 01:06:33,010 --> 01:06:35,179 Nice to meet you. Thank you so much. 1423 01:06:35,263 --> 01:06:37,014 -Let’s make it happen. -MARY: Oh, yeah. 1424 01:06:37,098 --> 01:06:39,976 (crowd singing, Mary joins in) 1425 01:06:40,059 --> 01:06:42,562 HENSON: To have the world tell you you ain’t shit, 1426 01:06:42,645 --> 01:06:46,941 and then to rise up out of that and-and prove that I matter, 1427 01:06:47,024 --> 01:06:48,985 that my story means something, 1428 01:06:49,068 --> 01:06:52,321 that my story is impactful. 1429 01:06:53,364 --> 01:06:55,366 And, no, I didn’t go to Harvard. 1430 01:06:56,492 --> 01:06:58,453 But I still have a story to tell 1431 01:06:58,536 --> 01:07:01,205 that’s gonna change someone’s life. 1432 01:07:03,124 --> 01:07:05,001 -♪ Oh, boy ♪ -("You Bring Me Joy" playing) 1433 01:07:05,084 --> 01:07:07,503 ♪ You’ve got it going on ♪ 1434 01:07:07,587 --> 01:07:09,922 ♪ And you satisfy me, yes, you do ♪ 1435 01:07:10,006 --> 01:07:11,299 ♪ You satisfy me ♪ 1436 01:07:11,382 --> 01:07:14,343 -♪ So much joy ♪ -Ooh. 1437 01:07:14,427 --> 01:07:15,553 ♪ Oh ♪ 1438 01:07:15,636 --> 01:07:18,639 ♪ In my world ♪ 1439 01:07:18,723 --> 01:07:20,975 ♪ Ooh, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 1440 01:07:21,058 --> 01:07:25,188 -♪ Be my man ♪ -♪ Mm, be my man ♪ 1441 01:07:25,271 --> 01:07:29,400 ♪ And I’ll be your girl ♪ 1442 01:07:29,484 --> 01:07:32,653 -(vocalizing, song fades) -Yeah. 1443 01:07:32,737 --> 01:07:36,324 -CROWD: ♪ I don’t know what I would do ♪ -(chuckles) 1444 01:07:36,407 --> 01:07:38,868 -♪ Do without you ♪ -(whooping, excited chatter) 1445 01:07:38,951 --> 01:07:41,537 -♪ In my life, boy. ♪ -Yeah. 1446 01:07:41,621 --> 01:07:44,123 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 1447 01:07:44,207 --> 01:07:47,210 (cheering, applause) 1448 01:07:47,293 --> 01:07:49,128 But it’s funny ’cause, like, that song, like, 1449 01:07:49,212 --> 01:07:51,130 there’s a lot of darkness, right, and pain in the album, 1450 01:07:51,214 --> 01:07:52,673 but that-that feels more, like, upbeat, 1451 01:07:52,757 --> 01:07:54,300 just, like, positive and fresh. 1452 01:07:54,383 --> 01:07:56,636 -Like, like, did y’all, like... -I mean, it’s positive, 1453 01:07:56,719 --> 01:07:58,805 but the first line is: "You know if the time is right, 1454 01:07:58,888 --> 01:08:01,474 -I don’t wanna fuss and fight." -(laughter) 1455 01:08:01,557 --> 01:08:03,392 -And then... -A lot of fussing and fighting on the album, Mary. 1456 01:08:03,476 --> 01:08:05,269 And then "All Night Long" is like: "Ooh, baby, not tonight, 1457 01:08:05,353 --> 01:08:08,189 -I don’t wanna fuss," so... -(laughter) 1458 01:08:08,272 --> 01:08:11,275 I was trying to be positive in-in... in dark situations. 1459 01:08:11,359 --> 01:08:13,152 -Yeah. -I was trying to, 1460 01:08:13,236 --> 01:08:15,863 you know, have some fun somewhere, an-anywhere I could. 1461 01:08:15,947 --> 01:08:17,990 Yeah. Like, one of the most uplifting records 1462 01:08:18,074 --> 01:08:21,160 is the first single, "Be Happy," where you’re literally asserting 1463 01:08:21,244 --> 01:08:22,787 that, "This is where I need to be. 1464 01:08:22,870 --> 01:08:25,289 -Like, I don’t deserve this. I deserve to have that." -Yeah. 1465 01:08:25,373 --> 01:08:26,415 -(applause) -Mm-hmm. 1466 01:08:26,499 --> 01:08:27,834 One of the most powerful lyrics: 1467 01:08:27,917 --> 01:08:29,710 "How can I love somebody else if I can’t love myself 1468 01:08:29,794 --> 01:08:31,629 -enough to know when it’s time?" -Yeah. 1469 01:08:31,712 --> 01:08:33,297 -(applause) -Yeah. -Yeah. 1470 01:08:33,381 --> 01:08:34,590 That’s how I felt. 1471 01:08:34,674 --> 01:08:36,384 That’s how I still-- t-today, you know? 1472 01:08:36,467 --> 01:08:38,135 -(laughter) -WILSON: Yeah. 1473 01:08:38,219 --> 01:08:40,012 That’s where we are now. 1474 01:08:40,096 --> 01:08:41,722 Like, the journey is to, every day, 1475 01:08:41,806 --> 01:08:45,685 -to want to try to be happy. -Mm. 1476 01:08:45,768 --> 01:08:47,812 Uh, that’s-that’s all we, all we can try to do. 1477 01:08:47,895 --> 01:08:49,272 -(applause) -WILSON: Yeah. 1478 01:08:49,355 --> 01:08:50,648 You got a lot of shit on your mind 1479 01:08:50,731 --> 01:08:51,816 and no way to let it out. 1480 01:08:51,899 --> 01:08:53,818 Some people do it with guns. 1481 01:08:53,901 --> 01:08:55,570 Some people do it with drugs. 1482 01:08:55,653 --> 01:08:59,031 Some people never have an outlet to-to express themself 1483 01:08:59,115 --> 01:09:01,951 and they die young or they die early. 1484 01:09:02,034 --> 01:09:03,911 Anxiety, all kind of shit. 1485 01:09:03,995 --> 01:09:06,247 But then when you do have that outlet, 1486 01:09:06,330 --> 01:09:08,875 then you can always express yourself freely, 1487 01:09:08,958 --> 01:09:10,543 and then you got a bunch of people around you 1488 01:09:10,626 --> 01:09:14,171 that was like, "Oh, shit, I think the same fucking way. 1489 01:09:14,255 --> 01:09:15,798 Let me hear some more of that shit." 1490 01:09:15,882 --> 01:09:17,967 (band playing "Be Happy") 1491 01:09:18,050 --> 01:09:20,553 (crowd cheering) 1492 01:09:23,431 --> 01:09:25,892 Now... 1493 01:09:25,975 --> 01:09:27,727 how many of y’all really want to be happy tonight? 1494 01:09:27,810 --> 01:09:29,145 (crowd cheering) 1495 01:09:29,228 --> 01:09:30,730 If you really want to be happy, 1496 01:09:30,813 --> 01:09:35,067 I want to hear you sing this song so loud. 1497 01:09:36,402 --> 01:09:39,113 And that’s all I’m trying to do. 1498 01:09:39,196 --> 01:09:44,201 CROWD: ♪ How can I love somebody else ♪ 1499 01:09:44,285 --> 01:09:49,665 ♪ If I can’t love myself enough to know ♪ 1500 01:09:49,749 --> 01:09:51,459 ♪ When it’s time ♪ 1501 01:09:51,542 --> 01:09:57,173 ♪ Time to let go? ♪ 1502 01:09:57,256 --> 01:09:59,175 MARY: Uh-huh. ♪ Sing ♪ 1503 01:09:59,258 --> 01:10:01,552 -♪ All I really want ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ 1504 01:10:01,636 --> 01:10:03,804 -♪ Is to be happy ♪ -♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 1505 01:10:03,888 --> 01:10:09,477 KEYS: Self-love is simply acknowledging your own voice, 1506 01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:11,729 your own instinct, 1507 01:10:11,812 --> 01:10:14,231 and actually thinking about what’s good for you, 1508 01:10:14,315 --> 01:10:16,025 as opposed to just doing what everybody else 1509 01:10:16,108 --> 01:10:17,818 is telling you is good for you. 1510 01:10:17,902 --> 01:10:20,613 So it’s simple to love yourself. 1511 01:10:20,696 --> 01:10:23,324 Can’t love anybody else before you love yourself. 1512 01:10:23,407 --> 01:10:24,951 Hardest thing in practice. 1513 01:10:25,034 --> 01:10:27,870 CROWD: ♪ Why must it be this way? ♪ 1514 01:10:27,954 --> 01:10:32,124 ♪ Why do you have to play with my mind ♪ 1515 01:10:32,208 --> 01:10:33,834 ♪ All the time? ♪ 1516 01:10:33,918 --> 01:10:35,461 ♪ Help me sing it... ♪ 1517 01:10:35,544 --> 01:10:38,506 Mary is still on that journey with us. 1518 01:10:38,589 --> 01:10:40,091 She’s-she’s gonna be here, 1519 01:10:40,174 --> 01:10:42,802 and she’s on that-- this-this journey to 1520 01:10:42,885 --> 01:10:44,804 put her life out there for us to see. 1521 01:10:44,887 --> 01:10:48,641 CROWD: ♪ All I really want is for me to be happy. ♪ 1522 01:10:49,976 --> 01:10:51,560 (song ends) 1523 01:10:51,644 --> 01:10:54,063 (crowd cheering) 1524 01:10:59,652 --> 01:11:04,365 My Life truly was a blessing, and I would say the empowerment 1525 01:11:04,448 --> 01:11:08,703 that it gave us from telling the truth 1526 01:11:08,786 --> 01:11:10,454 changed our lives. 1527 01:11:10,538 --> 01:11:14,041 MARY: And if you’re here tonight and you’re a Mary J. Blige fan, 1528 01:11:14,125 --> 01:11:19,005 you have been tested, you have been tried, 1529 01:11:19,088 --> 01:11:21,298 and you have been proven. 1530 01:11:21,382 --> 01:11:22,758 And trust me, there’s a lot-- you know-- 1531 01:11:22,842 --> 01:11:24,343 there’s a lot more testing to go 1532 01:11:24,427 --> 01:11:25,761 and a lot more trying and all that stuff. 1533 01:11:25,845 --> 01:11:32,226 But right now, I need to speak to all those die-hard, 1534 01:11:32,309 --> 01:11:35,104 been-there-since-1991... 1535 01:11:35,187 --> 01:11:36,355 (crowd cheering) 1536 01:11:36,439 --> 01:11:40,860 ...whether I was doing good, bad-- 1537 01:11:40,943 --> 01:11:44,280 I need to talk to those fans that did not leave me! 1538 01:11:44,363 --> 01:11:46,615 I need y’all right now! 1539 01:11:46,699 --> 01:11:48,576 (crowd cheering) 1540 01:11:50,411 --> 01:11:52,830 Thank you! Thank you! 1541 01:11:52,913 --> 01:11:55,291 Thank you! 1542 01:11:55,374 --> 01:11:57,918 Thank you! Thank you! 1543 01:11:58,002 --> 01:11:59,336 Thank you! 1544 01:11:59,420 --> 01:12:02,339 (band playing upbeat music) 1545 01:12:10,014 --> 01:12:11,807 -(music ends) -(cheering continues) 1546 01:12:11,891 --> 01:12:14,477 ♪ ♪ 1547 01:12:28,657 --> 01:12:30,034 (lively chatter) 1548 01:12:30,117 --> 01:12:32,411 -You are so cute. -WOMAN: Damn, baby, damn. 1549 01:12:32,495 --> 01:12:33,829 -I love it. -Damn. 1550 01:12:33,913 --> 01:12:35,372 -I try. -MAN: Yes! 1551 01:12:35,456 --> 01:12:37,083 You look so beautiful. 1552 01:12:37,166 --> 01:12:38,459 MAN: (chuckles) Yes! 1553 01:12:38,542 --> 01:12:39,627 MARY: Bless you, Father God. 1554 01:12:39,710 --> 01:12:41,045 Bless your holy and righteous name. 1555 01:12:41,128 --> 01:12:42,630 -MAN: Thank you, Jesus. -(others murmuring) 1556 01:12:42,713 --> 01:12:44,548 MARY: Father, thank you so much for your presence right now. 1557 01:12:44,632 --> 01:12:46,634 We thank you for a phenomenal night. 1558 01:12:46,717 --> 01:12:48,052 We in agreement. 1559 01:12:48,135 --> 01:12:50,179 -Amen. -ALL: Amen. 1560 01:12:50,262 --> 01:12:52,181 (cheering) 1561 01:12:52,264 --> 01:12:54,266 ♪ ♪ 1562 01:12:59,688 --> 01:13:01,440 WOMAN: Every day, we’re growing into new people, 1563 01:13:01,524 --> 01:13:04,110 and Mary brings that to her fans. 1564 01:13:04,193 --> 01:13:06,153 Yes, today was a bad day, but guess what, 1565 01:13:06,237 --> 01:13:08,447 tomorrow’s a new day and you can start over. 1566 01:13:08,531 --> 01:13:10,658 MARY: It’s a lot of stuff to come through still, 1567 01:13:10,741 --> 01:13:13,869 a lot of stuff that I... have not come through, 1568 01:13:13,953 --> 01:13:15,704 but I’m coming through. 1569 01:13:15,788 --> 01:13:17,790 And my fans, they’re coming through stuff, too, 1570 01:13:17,873 --> 01:13:19,583 and that’s what we-- we’re healing each other. 1571 01:13:19,667 --> 01:13:23,045 We’re back and forth, sending energy back and forth 1572 01:13:23,129 --> 01:13:24,880 that’s helping each other to grow, 1573 01:13:24,964 --> 01:13:26,507 and that’s what we’ve been doing for years. 1574 01:13:26,590 --> 01:13:28,592 -Mary! -We love you! 1575 01:13:28,676 --> 01:13:31,053 I love you, Mary, all my heart and soul, 1576 01:13:31,137 --> 01:13:34,557 since the day I was like six and I could walk and talk, okay? 1577 01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:35,933 Mary. 1578 01:13:36,016 --> 01:13:37,685 -Come on... -Let’s go, let’s go. 1579 01:13:37,768 --> 01:13:39,645 ♪ ♪ 1580 01:13:39,728 --> 01:13:41,480 BOY: Have you always wanted to be a singer, 1581 01:13:41,564 --> 01:13:44,316 or was there other, um, things that you wanted to do? 1582 01:13:44,400 --> 01:13:46,026 -No. -Before you went inside this booth and made this song. 1583 01:13:46,110 --> 01:13:47,862 -(laughter) -I mean, I always knew 1584 01:13:47,945 --> 01:13:50,447 that I-I-I could sing and I wanted to sing, 1585 01:13:50,531 --> 01:13:52,408 but I really... 1586 01:13:52,491 --> 01:13:54,493 singing wasn’t, like, the only thing that was on my mind, 1587 01:13:54,577 --> 01:13:56,203 because I didn’t think that, you know, 1588 01:13:56,287 --> 01:13:58,831 stuff like that could happen to somebody like me. 1589 01:13:58,914 --> 01:14:00,958 -You know what I’m saying? Like us. -Yeah, yeah. 1590 01:14:01,041 --> 01:14:02,543 GIRL: So you feel that, since you did 1591 01:14:02,626 --> 01:14:05,880 a lot of work on this album, you feel better for yourself 1592 01:14:05,963 --> 01:14:07,756 -that you did something... -Yeah. 1593 01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:11,260 ...for our-- for yourself, you know, this came from you? 1594 01:14:11,343 --> 01:14:12,761 (chuckles) I feel real good about it, 1595 01:14:12,845 --> 01:14:15,306 ’cause it was a challenge to do something like that, 1596 01:14:15,389 --> 01:14:17,474 ’cause I never had the confidence to bring it 1597 01:14:17,558 --> 01:14:19,852 to, you know, anybody and say, "Do you like it?" 1598 01:14:19,935 --> 01:14:22,855 And when I finally, you know, got up the confidence, 1599 01:14:22,938 --> 01:14:25,357 you know, I brought it to a couple people, they liked it, 1600 01:14:25,441 --> 01:14:28,652 and it made me happy, so I just kept writing and kept doing it. 1601 01:14:28,736 --> 01:14:30,404 Were you aware of that, Andre, as-as she was growing? 1602 01:14:30,487 --> 01:14:33,199 Yeah. I watched, I watched Mary, um, grow. 1603 01:14:33,282 --> 01:14:34,992 Like, when she was writing the songs 1604 01:14:35,075 --> 01:14:36,660 and I was listening to the songs, 1605 01:14:36,744 --> 01:14:40,581 I was feeling like Mary is becoming a full-fledged artist. 1606 01:14:40,664 --> 01:14:42,666 I mean, you know, it all comes from her. 1607 01:14:42,750 --> 01:14:45,085 Mary J. Blige all comes from her feeling. 1608 01:14:45,169 --> 01:14:47,213 And I think that gives her the confidence to know, like, 1609 01:14:47,296 --> 01:14:50,174 I know she believes "I’m Miss Mary J. Blige." 1610 01:14:50,257 --> 01:14:52,509 -And that’s all right with y’all, huh? -(laughter) 1611 01:14:52,593 --> 01:14:54,511 (crowd cheering) 1612 01:14:54,595 --> 01:14:59,600 GROUP: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 1613 01:14:59,683 --> 01:15:05,481 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Mary ♪ 1614 01:15:05,564 --> 01:15:11,028 ♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪ 1615 01:15:11,111 --> 01:15:13,113 (cheering) 1616 01:15:17,409 --> 01:15:18,911 Um... (clears throat) 1617 01:15:18,994 --> 01:15:20,913 Two cakes for the queen. 1618 01:15:20,996 --> 01:15:22,665 -Who is the other cake for? -WOMAN: Yes, queen! 1619 01:15:22,748 --> 01:15:25,000 For you, so you can have a choice. You deserve choices. 1620 01:15:25,084 --> 01:15:26,710 -Vanilla or chocolate, baby. -Options, baby, you got options. 1621 01:15:26,794 --> 01:15:29,255 (laughter) 1622 01:15:29,338 --> 01:15:31,340 HARRELL: Mary, from the moment I met you-- 1623 01:15:31,423 --> 01:15:33,175 you were 18 years old-- 1624 01:15:33,259 --> 01:15:35,928 I heard your voice, I looked in your heart, 1625 01:15:36,011 --> 01:15:39,640 and I saw that you were truly gifted but you were troubled. 1626 01:15:39,723 --> 01:15:43,727 But the amazing thing about you as a person 1627 01:15:43,811 --> 01:15:48,399 is how you are able to put your troubles on the canvas 1628 01:15:48,482 --> 01:15:51,986 and deal with them in front of people and get over them. 1629 01:15:52,069 --> 01:15:54,863 And by you getting over them, it inspires us, 1630 01:15:54,947 --> 01:15:57,908 -so here’s to you, Mary. -WOMAN: Mm-hmm. 1631 01:15:57,992 --> 01:15:59,451 -Aw. -You truly are a queen. 1632 01:15:59,535 --> 01:16:02,705 -(others murmuring) -Hear! Hear! 1633 01:16:02,788 --> 01:16:05,124 -Thank you so much! -(glasses clinking) 1634 01:16:05,207 --> 01:16:07,710 (lively chatter, laughter) 1635 01:16:07,793 --> 01:16:11,338 I just want to say thank y’all for hanging in there with me 1636 01:16:11,422 --> 01:16:13,132 and believing that I can make it 1637 01:16:13,215 --> 01:16:14,883 to another year, another birthday, 1638 01:16:14,967 --> 01:16:17,428 because I didn’t think I was gonna make it. 1639 01:16:17,511 --> 01:16:20,055 Life is looking up, but in the midst of the beautiful things 1640 01:16:20,139 --> 01:16:23,726 that God was doing and is doing, there’s still trial. 1641 01:16:23,809 --> 01:16:27,688 But I choose life and I choose the good, 1642 01:16:27,771 --> 01:16:30,816 and I’m gonna continue to work on Mary, whether it be 1643 01:16:30,899 --> 01:16:32,776 spiritual, mental, physical, it’s-- 1644 01:16:32,860 --> 01:16:38,073 First thing, my baby is my Mary, my little Mary and my big Mary, 1645 01:16:38,157 --> 01:16:40,909 my confused Mary, my every kind of Mary. 1646 01:16:40,993 --> 01:16:44,163 So, it took us a while to get here, and when we all-- 1647 01:16:44,246 --> 01:16:47,082 we’re almost 50, and we gonna really act up. 1648 01:16:47,166 --> 01:16:48,751 -(laughter) -This is only the beginning. 1649 01:16:48,834 --> 01:16:51,712 Y’all ain’t seen nothing yet. So thank y’all. 1650 01:16:51,795 --> 01:16:54,506 Like, I’m grateful and I’m not gonna let nobody take away 1651 01:16:54,590 --> 01:16:56,342 -my strength... -That’s right. 1652 01:16:56,425 --> 01:16:58,510 ...or my joy ever again. 1653 01:16:58,594 --> 01:17:00,721 ♪ ♪ 1654 01:17:00,804 --> 01:17:03,265 Being human is hard, 1655 01:17:03,349 --> 01:17:08,896 but I think I’ve evolved in a, in a major way. 1656 01:17:08,979 --> 01:17:12,107 But what’s consistent is my heart, 1657 01:17:12,191 --> 01:17:14,234 and my heart is that little girl in Yonkers. 1658 01:17:14,318 --> 01:17:16,862 My heart is that teenager 1659 01:17:16,945 --> 01:17:19,114 trying to get through and making it through. 1660 01:17:19,198 --> 01:17:20,616 My heart is never forgetting 1661 01:17:20,699 --> 01:17:22,701 the environment that I grew up in 1662 01:17:22,785 --> 01:17:24,745 and going back and helping others. 1663 01:17:24,828 --> 01:17:29,416 So the evolution is not being afraid to expose my truth 1664 01:17:29,500 --> 01:17:32,753 and myself to touch someone else’s life. 1665 01:17:33,754 --> 01:17:35,756 (cheering, clapping) 1666 01:17:36,840 --> 01:17:38,842 -You make a wish? -(laughter) 1667 01:17:40,594 --> 01:17:42,346 I don’t think you really made a wish, though. 1668 01:17:42,429 --> 01:17:44,348 -Yo, make a wish. -How you know I didn’t make a wish? 1669 01:17:44,431 --> 01:17:46,266 You got two-- make two wishes. ’Cause I can feel you. 1670 01:17:46,350 --> 01:17:47,851 Okay, I don’t like to wish, 1671 01:17:47,935 --> 01:17:49,144 -so I’m-a go and believe... -Say a prayer. 1672 01:17:49,228 --> 01:17:50,729 -HARRELL: Mm. -Say a prayer. 1673 01:17:50,813 --> 01:17:55,067 ...that what I desire in my heart will be. 1674 01:17:56,485 --> 01:17:58,904 -Amen. -Amen. Amen. 1675 01:18:00,406 --> 01:18:03,826 (group cheering, clapping) 1676 01:18:03,909 --> 01:18:06,912 ("Hour Glass" by Mary J. Blige playing) 1677 01:18:20,717 --> 01:18:24,388 ♪ If you could see a second’s in an hourglass ♪ 1678 01:18:24,471 --> 01:18:28,475 ♪ If you could see the minutes of the life you have ♪ 1679 01:18:28,559 --> 01:18:32,146 ♪ Would you run and would you try ♪ 1680 01:18:32,229 --> 01:18:34,231 ♪ To win it back? ♪ 1681 01:18:36,066 --> 01:18:39,945 ♪ If you can see your future in a photograph ♪ 1682 01:18:40,028 --> 01:18:43,782 ♪ If you could see the life that you wish you had ♪ 1683 01:18:43,866 --> 01:18:47,619 ♪ Could you be strong and carry on ♪ 1684 01:18:47,703 --> 01:18:49,788 ♪ With what you have? ♪ 1685 01:18:51,957 --> 01:18:54,585 ♪ Why we wasting life? ♪ 1686 01:18:55,752 --> 01:18:59,882 ♪ Should be chasing life ♪ 1687 01:18:59,965 --> 01:19:03,760 ♪ If we’re breathing for the very last time ♪ 1688 01:19:03,844 --> 01:19:07,639 ♪ I don’t wanna hold on to goodbye ♪ 1689 01:19:07,723 --> 01:19:11,351 ♪ If there’s no tomorrow ♪ 1690 01:19:11,435 --> 01:19:15,397 ♪ We better make it last tonight ♪ 1691 01:19:15,481 --> 01:19:19,276 ♪ If we’re standing when the walls come down ♪ 1692 01:19:19,359 --> 01:19:23,197 ♪ If we make it to the final round ♪ 1693 01:19:23,280 --> 01:19:26,783 ♪ If we’re here tomorrow ♪ 1694 01:19:26,867 --> 01:19:32,789 ♪ We live it better than we did last night ♪ 1695 01:19:32,873 --> 01:19:34,875 (vocalizing) 1696 01:19:49,765 --> 01:19:53,393 ♪ If you were on your knees, would you take a stand? ♪ 1697 01:19:53,477 --> 01:19:57,481 ♪ If you were in need, would you take my hand? ♪ 1698 01:19:57,564 --> 01:20:01,026 ♪ Would you lie and lose your pride ♪ 1699 01:20:01,109 --> 01:20:03,320 ♪ To live again? ♪ 1700 01:20:05,239 --> 01:20:09,034 ♪ If you could wake up and see through yourself ♪ 1701 01:20:09,117 --> 01:20:13,038 ♪ Would you find the room to blame someone else? ♪ 1702 01:20:13,121 --> 01:20:16,708 ♪ Could you change in just a day ♪ 1703 01:20:16,792 --> 01:20:19,211 ♪ And cry for help? ♪ 1704 01:20:20,837 --> 01:20:24,675 ♪ Why we wasting life? ♪ 1705 01:20:24,758 --> 01:20:28,887 ♪ Should be chasing life ♪ 1706 01:20:28,971 --> 01:20:32,766 ♪ If we’re breathing for the very last time ♪ 1707 01:20:32,849 --> 01:20:36,645 ♪ I don’t wanna hold on to goodbye ♪ 1708 01:20:36,728 --> 01:20:40,357 ♪ If there’s no tomorrow ♪ 1709 01:20:40,440 --> 01:20:44,403 ♪ We better make it last tonight ♪ 1710 01:20:44,486 --> 01:20:48,282 ♪ If we’re standing when the walls come down ♪ 1711 01:20:48,365 --> 01:20:52,202 ♪ If we make it to the final round ♪ 1712 01:20:52,286 --> 01:20:55,789 ♪ If we’re here tomorrow ♪ 1713 01:20:55,872 --> 01:20:59,626 ♪ We live it better than we did last night ♪ 1714 01:20:59,710 --> 01:21:04,047 ♪ ’Cause you’re not alone, no, you’re not alone ♪ 1715 01:21:04,131 --> 01:21:07,342 ♪ We’ve all been wasting time ♪ 1716 01:21:07,426 --> 01:21:11,680 ♪ No, it’s not too late ♪ 1717 01:21:11,763 --> 01:21:15,726 ♪ For us to make it right ♪ 1718 01:21:15,809 --> 01:21:19,938 ♪ We still have today ♪ 1719 01:21:23,233 --> 01:21:27,029 ♪ If we’re breathing for the very last time ♪ 1720 01:21:27,112 --> 01:21:30,991 ♪ I don’t wanna hold on to goodbye ♪ 1721 01:21:31,074 --> 01:21:34,494 ♪ If there’s no tomorrow ♪ 1722 01:21:34,578 --> 01:21:38,707 ♪ We better make it last tonight ♪ 1723 01:21:38,790 --> 01:21:42,628 ♪ If we’re standing when the walls come down ♪ 1724 01:21:42,711 --> 01:21:46,423 ♪ If we make it to the final round ♪ 1725 01:21:46,506 --> 01:21:50,093 ♪ If we’re here tomorrow ♪ 1726 01:21:50,177 --> 01:21:54,973 ♪ We live it better than we did last night. ♪ 1727 01:21:59,936 --> 01:22:01,938 (song fades)