1 00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:02,937 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:05,640 - So I went to the beach the other day, 3 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,342 and I was, like, counting all the sand 4 00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:09,614 because someone told me that there's more stars in the universe 5 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:11,253 than there is grains of sand on all the beaches. 6 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,878 And I was like, that can't be true. 7 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:14,624 Right? 8 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:15,978 - Yeah. - Yeah. 9 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:16,716 KRIS: Hey, guys. 10 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,520 - KIRBY: Oh, hey, Mom. - Hello 11 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,752 - KIM: What's happening? - So I just went outside... 12 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,117 - Yeah. - And there's, like, 13 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:25,025 four huge scratches in my driveway. 14 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,788 [dramatic music] 15 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:32,067 I have a strict don't park your car on my driveway rule, 16 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:32,969 and guess what? 17 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,270 Somebody parked on my driveway. 18 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,071 - It wasn't a car. 19 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,803 It was a sexy statue of herself. 20 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,777 Obviously, I can't give this to my mom for her birthday. 21 00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,310 I think we can get it to my bedroom. 22 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,175 - I can't-- 23 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,713 - You good? - Yeah, bro. 24 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,548 - So I gotta figure something else out. 25 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,049 Huh. 26 00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:57,087 [upbeat music] 27 00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:04,134 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,567 KIRBY: So I didn't wanna have to run your own gift ideas by you 29 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,713 'cause, like, that ruins the surprise or whatever. 30 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,808 But, like, what if I got you a vacuum? 31 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,012 No. What about, like, a fishing pole? 32 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,484 Or how about me and you, like, road trip to Miami. 33 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,083 - Miami? 34 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,354 - Yeah, you're right. That's too far. 35 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:27,022 - There's a company that makes real life dolls. 36 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,624 - Okay. - They're so real 37 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,655 that people have sex with them. 38 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,491 - Ugh. - We should go to the factory 39 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,356 and check 'em out, because we can order-- 40 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,034 - Mom, I'm not getting you a sex doll. 41 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:37,533 You already have Kourtney. 42 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:38,674 - Oh. 43 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:39,869 [pigeon cooing] 44 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,040 This pigeon is freaking me out. Where did it go? 45 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,299 [eerie music] 46 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,637 [bleep]. That scared the [bleep] out of me. 47 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:49,212 - This pigeon has been victimizing my mom since I was a little kid. 48 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,183 - There is a bird in the window. 49 00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,281 Bird! 50 00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,722 Don't fall, 'cause if you fall, you're gonna fall on me. 51 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,618 - It's, like all the way up there. I can't do it. 52 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:57,350 - [bleep] 53 00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,824 Ah. [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] 54 00:01:58,852 --> 00:01:59,822 [bleep] 55 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,288 It's in your hand! 56 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:03,292 - [bleep] [bleep] 57 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,033 - I got it! - [screams] 58 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,831 - Oh, my gosh. How did I not think of this before? 59 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,103 For Mom's birthday, I'm gonna get rid of this bird. 60 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,973 ♪ ♪ 61 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,374 - Hello. Welcome. DAWN: Hi. How's it going? 62 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,906 - I'm good. How are you? - KIRBY: Today, I decided 63 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,911 to hit up a bird store with my good friend 64 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,513 and bird expert, Tom Green. 65 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:25,505 KIRBY: We're just gonna take a look around. 66 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:26,806 DAWN: Take your time. 67 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,877 - Tom's had a lot of bird issues in the past, 68 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,486 so I thought he'd be the perfect guy to help me with my problem. 69 00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:34,188 - Wow. - And this is the Fruit Loops bird, right, 70 00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,461 - from the cereal? - DAWN: Yes. 71 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,559 - Whoa. - Can I grab it? 72 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,660 That got a strong beak? 73 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,831 - [cage bangs] - Whoa! 74 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,189 - See? They attack. 75 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,857 - Tom knows so much about birds. It's incredible. 76 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,366 - Birdie num num. Birdie num num. 77 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:48,969 KIRBY: Unfortunately, he only has one idea for my pigeon problem. 78 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,572 - Shoot it. 79 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,744 - He hates pigeons. 80 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,042 I don't wanna kill it, no. 81 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,783 - I've heard with pigeons, they don't like cinnamon, pepper or chili. 82 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:57,610 - Okay. - Really? 83 00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:00,254 I knew that coming to this bird store was a great idea. 84 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,950 I would love to just shoo it away. 85 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,922 - Did you try an airhorn? - Loud noises? 86 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,391 - You could always try balloons. 87 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,889 - Birds hate balloons? - Mm-hmm. 88 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,620 - I'm so glad I came here. 89 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,055 - Thank you, Dawn. - You're very welcome. 90 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,761 ♪ ♪ 91 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,733 - All right, bye. - Bye-bye. 92 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,101 [phone ringing] 93 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,901 - Hi. - KIRBY: Hey. 94 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,443 KOURTNEY: How was party planning? 95 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,738 - KIRBY: Oh, I crushed it. - Yeah. 96 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:25,409 KIRBY: So Mom got, like, super scared this morning. 97 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,169 That bird came back. - Yeah. 98 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,937 KIRBY: Can you get her out of the house for a little bit? 99 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,076 - Um, okay. 100 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,711 KIRBY: That would be super, super chill. 101 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,047 - Anything I can do to help, I'll do it. 102 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:40,953 ♪ ♪ 103 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,858 KIRBY: Now that Kourtney's gotten Mom out of the house, 104 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,530 I can take what I learned at the bird store... 105 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,528 Bird. 106 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,459 And find this pigeon. 107 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,003 He's a sneaky, little bitch. 108 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,227 [bird cooing] 109 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,765 Bird? [coos] 110 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:53,629 Bird? 111 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,397 [cooing] 112 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:58,835 Hello? Pigeon? I have balloons. 113 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,081 [pigeon cooing] 114 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,051 That didn't do anything. 115 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,608 [cooing] 116 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:10,947 ♪ ♪ 117 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,724 KRIS: Look at the llamas. They spit at you, don't they? 118 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,394 KIRBY: Kourtney's so good at helping. 119 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,392 She's taking Mom to pet a bunch of giraffes 120 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,964 and take her mind off the bird. 121 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,292 KRIS: Look at the giraffe. 122 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:23,397 - She has her smile back, and she's slowly getting back into the groove. 123 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,230 - She's coming back, everybody. 124 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,295 KOURTNEY: God, you're letting loose. 125 00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:32,144 ♪ ♪ 126 00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:36,342 [dramatic music] 127 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:39,676 - Hey, buddy. My name's Kirby. 128 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,183 Your name's Bird, I assume. 129 00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:45,016 It's okay. I'm just coming to get you. I'm just coming to get you. I got you. 130 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:46,952 This little terrorist is gone. 131 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:47,817 I did my job. 132 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,185 Get out of here. Shoo. 133 00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,994 And it just goes to show, when you put your mind to something, 134 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,626 anything is possible. 135 00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,095 God damn it. 136 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,742 ♪ ♪ 137 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,369 KHLOE: Hey. 138 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:07,074 - Hey. What's up? - I didn't know you were here. 139 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,177 - I just spent the last six hours in Mom's backyard 140 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,879 trying to get rid of this stupid pigeon. 141 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,481 How'd you get back here, buddy? 142 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:14,053 Are you back again? 143 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,521 This bird just won't leave. 144 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:20,149 - Why--can you just, like, give this job to someone that can handle it? 145 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,017 Like me, I'm happy to take it on. 146 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,455 - No, I get it, Khloe, you've gotten rid of, like, a ton of birds. 147 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:27,901 But this is, like, my responsibility. It's my gift for mom. 148 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,428 I kinda wanna do this myself. 149 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,033 I'm at my last straw with this bird, 150 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,634 and things just seem to be getting worse and worse. 151 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,537 Like, when Mom came back from petting a bunch of giraffes, 152 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,610 her bird phobia got worse. 153 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:42,479 She locked herself in her bedroom and started imagining birds. 154 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,177 - I'm really worried about her. 155 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:52,146 But Khloe always has great insight for me. 156 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:55,256 She started reading from this book called the "Art of War." 157 00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:59,289 "Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, 158 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:03,396 and when you move, fall, like a thunderbolt." 159 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,430 [intense music] 160 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:09,966 ♪ ♪ 161 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,773 You know, Khloe and Tom Green are right. 162 00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,077 KIRBY: I'm gonna have to get really aggressive. 163 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,749 Tomorrow, I'm gonna murder a bird.