1 00:00:11,222 --> 00:00:13,561 Whoever started this whole generation thing 2 00:00:13,561 --> 00:00:15,163 with X was a total idiot. 3 00:00:15,163 --> 00:00:16,867 Yeah, I mean, like, we're already at Z. 4 00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,136 Yeah. 5 00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:20,207 So what happens after us? Do they go to AA? 6 00:00:20,207 --> 00:00:22,444 What the... 7 00:00:22,444 --> 00:00:23,981 Whoo. 8 00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:25,150 Hey, peeps! 9 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,354 What are my two crazy amigos up to? 10 00:00:27,354 --> 00:00:29,927 No one says peeps anymore, dude, okay? 11 00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:31,797 Except on Easter. 12 00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:33,801 You like? It's new. 13 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,170 No. 14 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:38,243 Oh, it's a little flashy for my taste, so... 15 00:00:38,243 --> 00:00:40,982 I'm calling it Draco, not after Harry Potter's foil. 16 00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:41,984 I knew you would go there, 17 00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:43,921 but after my favorite constellation, 18 00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:45,892 Draco the Dragon, is circumpolar... 19 00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:49,165 No one cares. How did you get it anyway? 20 00:00:49,165 --> 00:00:51,035 I saw a wallet lying on the street, 21 00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:52,404 like it was waiting for me. 22 00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:54,475 It's what I like to call a serendipitous moment. 23 00:00:54,475 --> 00:00:57,181 And you stole money from the wallet and you bought a moped? 24 00:00:57,181 --> 00:01:00,020 No, I found the concerned gentleman who owned it, 25 00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:02,157 and as a reward he gave me $200 26 00:01:02,157 --> 00:01:04,095 and this moped that he had lying around. 27 00:01:04,095 --> 00:01:05,464 I even got featured in The Sweet Spot 28 00:01:05,464 --> 00:01:07,167 in the Patriot. I'm like a Flatch celebrity. 29 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,236 I'm surprised you haven't heard. 30 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,806 - I'm sorry--okay. - Uh-huh. 31 00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:13,046 You're telling me that you got a moped and 200 bucks 32 00:01:13,046 --> 00:01:15,150 - because you returned a wallet? - Mm-hmm. 33 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:16,754 We need to find a lost wallet. 34 00:01:16,754 --> 00:01:17,856 - Right now. - Is that a wallet? 35 00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:19,593 Go that way. 36 00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:26,039 I like your place. It really screams you. 37 00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:31,215 You read my paper? 38 00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:33,219 Yeah, I like to check out the competition 39 00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:35,157 in more ways than one. 40 00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:37,328 But that new column about good news, 41 00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:41,737 um, what's it called? The Sweet Place? 42 00:01:41,737 --> 00:01:43,473 - The Sweet Spot. - Yes. 43 00:01:43,473 --> 00:01:46,446 It's human interest fluff. Unless people are giving in 44 00:01:46,446 --> 00:01:49,385 to their basest animal instincts, no one cares. 45 00:01:49,385 --> 00:01:51,055 People need positive news in their lives. 46 00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:52,191 Oh, positive? 47 00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:55,230 You mean the kid who took advantage 48 00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:57,067 of an elderly by swindling money 49 00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,771 and a moped out of him? 50 00:01:58,771 --> 00:02:00,808 How can you be so cynical? 51 00:02:00,808 --> 00:02:02,545 And how can you be so naive? 52 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,850 Optimistic. 53 00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,787 Potato/potahto. 54 00:02:07,589 --> 00:02:08,824 Oh, it's potato. 55 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:14,135 That was kind of weird, 56 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,674 but kind of hot too. 57 00:02:16,674 --> 00:02:17,942 We kissed, 58 00:02:17,942 --> 00:02:20,113 but he was so mean, 59 00:02:20,113 --> 00:02:22,084 but it was hot. 60 00:02:22,084 --> 00:02:24,422 Yeah, definitely hot. 61 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,336 Hey, everyone. 62 00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:34,241 Tickets for the meat raffle don't go on sale till tomorrow. 63 00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,747 We're here for the assistant position. 64 00:02:36,747 --> 00:02:38,049 Assistant? 65 00:02:38,049 --> 00:02:39,385 Christine Cradle at the Suit Shack 66 00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:41,557 said that you need an assistant. 67 00:02:42,692 --> 00:02:43,728 Huh. 68 00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,865 I off-handedly mentioned to Christine, 69 00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,267 while buying a suit jacket, 70 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,372 that I wish I had a bit more help around the church. 71 00:02:49,372 --> 00:02:51,442 I guess in a small town, there's no such thing 72 00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:54,048 as minister-salesperson confidentiality, 73 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:57,221 but I am excited. 74 00:02:57,221 --> 00:02:59,526 I'm getting an employee. 75 00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,897 This opens up a whole new world for me. 76 00:03:01,897 --> 00:03:05,705 Holiday gift exchanges will be a lot more surprising, for one. 77 00:03:07,074 --> 00:03:09,311 I'm the boss. 78 00:03:16,292 --> 00:03:19,933 So we didn't find any lost wallets yesterday. 79 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,137 So on to Plan B. 80 00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:24,008 Ah, dude, do we have to deliver 81 00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:25,578 these all the way to Len's house? 82 00:03:25,578 --> 00:03:27,147 I mean, can't we just, like, leave them here 83 00:03:27,147 --> 00:03:28,551 and just, like, tell him where to find them? 84 00:03:28,551 --> 00:03:31,089 Shut up, delivering them was the deal, okay? 85 00:03:31,089 --> 00:03:32,257 And Len was the only one 86 00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:33,928 to take us up on our good-deeds offer. 87 00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:35,297 I'm just tired. 88 00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:38,236 Flatch has, like, all these charities to help people. 89 00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:39,506 There's soup for the old, 90 00:03:39,506 --> 00:03:41,476 which is kind of, like, ageist, you know? 91 00:03:41,476 --> 00:03:43,848 Then there's take a neck brace, leave a neck brace. 92 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,518 There's one that, like, fills in holes, 93 00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,989 because people don't know how to look where they walk. 94 00:03:47,989 --> 00:03:49,325 Anyways, they're all pretty lame. 95 00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:51,062 And this way we keep the proceeds, 96 00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:52,197 like, we're the charity. 97 00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:55,170 Yeah. Oh, dude, it's Beth. 98 00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:57,141 Come on, hurry. Maybe she won't see us. 99 00:03:57,141 --> 00:04:00,046 Sup, Beth? You look fire. 100 00:04:00,046 --> 00:04:01,517 Yeah, Beth and I 101 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:03,319 have been hanging out for, like, two weeks. 102 00:04:03,319 --> 00:04:06,225 Um, mainly just walking, 103 00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,196 um, get my steps in. 104 00:04:08,196 --> 00:04:10,133 We don't talk a lot, 105 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:12,539 but mystery is in the silences. 106 00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,214 Ew. 107 00:04:17,214 --> 00:04:19,553 What is that? 108 00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:20,955 Come on! 109 00:04:20,955 --> 00:04:22,725 Um, I... 110 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,902 Oh, my God, dude, did you just see that? 111 00:04:27,902 --> 00:04:31,510 Dude, Beth just side hugged me. What does that mean, dude? 112 00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:35,117 Like, do you think we're, like, officially a thing? 113 00:04:35,117 --> 00:04:37,187 Who cares, okay? I need you to focus, like... 114 00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:38,490 Oh, my God. 115 00:04:38,490 --> 00:04:40,828 Hey, guys. What are you up to? 116 00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:43,233 We are delivering Len's groceries. 117 00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:45,505 He gave us a list. We shop and deliver. 118 00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:48,209 Just one of our good deeds for the day. 119 00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:50,748 Well, that is very nice of you. 120 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,685 Thanks, we're all about doing the right thing. 121 00:04:52,685 --> 00:04:56,760 I was inspired by Kelly and Shrub today, 122 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:57,829 which is a change, 123 00:04:57,829 --> 00:05:00,433 because they mostly inspire worry. 124 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:01,637 And so I hired Blind Billy. 125 00:05:01,637 --> 00:05:04,441 He seems like a smart, capable guy, 126 00:05:04,441 --> 00:05:06,312 and it's a privilege to offer opportunities 127 00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:08,216 to those who often get overlooked. 128 00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:10,253 You have no idea how many people can't look 129 00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:11,590 past my blindness. 130 00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:14,495 I'm so far past it, I can't even see it at all. 131 00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:17,702 Was that offensive? 132 00:05:18,369 --> 00:05:20,140 That was actionable. 133 00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:22,545 Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry. 134 00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:26,152 I'm just roasting you, padre. 135 00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:28,456 Oh, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha... 136 00:05:28,456 --> 00:05:31,295 I hired Blind Billy to work out at my farm, 137 00:05:31,295 --> 00:05:34,168 because he said he was a hard worker 138 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,372 and good with his hands. 139 00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:38,409 He was good with his hands all right. 140 00:05:38,409 --> 00:05:40,548 He's got one of my daughters pregnant 141 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,319 and the other one keeps writing him letters. 142 00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:45,190 I hired Blind Billy as a tour guide. 143 00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:46,727 He claimed he knew the history of Flatch 144 00:05:46,727 --> 00:05:49,031 like the back of his hand, but then I caught him 145 00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:51,202 reciting the theme song to Gilligan's Island 146 00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:52,539 like it really happened here. 147 00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:55,310 It didn't. It's a TV show. 148 00:05:58,416 --> 00:06:00,688 - Hey! - Hi, Len, as promised! 149 00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:02,525 Also, we went paper on the bags, 150 00:06:02,525 --> 00:06:04,963 so recyclable. Double good deed. 151 00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:07,000 But where the hell is the rest of my food? 152 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,102 Should be in there. 153 00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:09,940 Mm-hmm. 154 00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,375 You ate them. 155 00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:13,647 I can smell my vinegar chips on your breath. 156 00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,483 I have the metabolism of a hummingbird, okay? 157 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:18,657 So I have to keep refueling. Okay, reward time. 158 00:06:18,657 --> 00:06:21,329 Now Mickey was recently gifted a moped, you know, 159 00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:23,066 in terms of compensation-- 160 00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:26,974 You're welcome! 161 00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:34,455 Day two, and things are going really well with Blind Billy. 162 00:06:34,455 --> 00:06:37,060 Sure, I've had to make a few accommodations, 163 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,797 but more than happy to. 164 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,204 Blind Billy is now free to roam 165 00:06:42,204 --> 00:06:45,477 without fear or sharp corners, 166 00:06:45,477 --> 00:06:48,449 like Jesus in the Judaean Desert, 167 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,554 except there's no temptation here, 168 00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:52,926 unless you count my secret candy drawer. 169 00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:22,885 No big deal. 170 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,670 You can't just sneak up on me like that. 171 00:07:31,670 --> 00:07:33,941 I'm blind! My other senses are heightened. 172 00:07:33,941 --> 00:07:36,813 You could have killed me with a touch like that. 173 00:07:36,813 --> 00:07:38,550 Sorry, but you probably shouldn't be 174 00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:40,453 listening to headphones while the phone is ringing. 175 00:07:40,453 --> 00:07:43,827 And how do you expect me to read a book? 176 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:47,367 I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm blind. 177 00:07:47,669 --> 00:07:49,773 So if you'll excuse me... 178 00:07:50,775 --> 00:07:53,179 Maybe you shouldn't be reading while you're... 179 00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,849 Okay. 180 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,220 It's important to me that people don't look at me 181 00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,824 and just see my disability. 182 00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:01,162 I don't want the first thing they say to be, 183 00:08:01,162 --> 00:08:03,099 "There goes that blind guy." 184 00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,437 I want them to think, 185 00:08:05,437 --> 00:08:09,011 "There goes that who happens to be blind." 186 00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:28,282 - Hey. - Oh, hey, what's up? 187 00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:29,552 I need your help choosing the book 188 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,222 for the next book club. 189 00:08:31,222 --> 00:08:32,457 It's Father Joe's turn, 190 00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:34,629 and I just can't with him. 191 00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:37,334 How many Agatha Christies am I expected to read? 192 00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:39,004 Oh, I know. He loves those, 193 00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:42,144 but I'm actually gonna miss tomorrow's book club meeting 194 00:08:42,144 --> 00:08:44,716 because I have a date with Jimmy again. 195 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:47,487 Ladies, am I invisible? I'm on the phone, like... 196 00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:50,060 Okay, sorry, what were you saying? 197 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,965 So you like him? 198 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,334 No. 199 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,105 Yes. I don't know, maybe. 200 00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:58,944 Oh, it's so weird. 201 00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:01,415 We have this bantery thing, which is kind of sexy, 202 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:05,090 but then it stops being bantery and starts getting fighty. 203 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:08,329 Oh, yeah. You two wrestle? 204 00:09:08,329 --> 00:09:10,568 No. 205 00:09:10,568 --> 00:09:13,372 Well, we do wrestle with our minds, 206 00:09:13,372 --> 00:09:15,778 which is kind of invigorating, mainly. 207 00:09:15,778 --> 00:09:18,249 I mean, Joe and I, I was always the alpha, 208 00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:19,384 but with Jimmy it's kind of like 209 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,621 we're two rival debate captains 210 00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:22,658 stuffed in a sack clawing it out. 211 00:09:22,658 --> 00:09:24,863 That doesn't sound sexy. 212 00:09:28,637 --> 00:09:30,808 - Hey there, Shrub. - Why are you working outside? 213 00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:33,479 Oh, I'm just giving Blind Billy his space. 214 00:09:33,479 --> 00:09:35,518 Yeah, he meditates every day for an hour, 215 00:09:35,518 --> 00:09:36,820 and he says he can smell my presence. 216 00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:39,191 Can I ask you a question real quick? 217 00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:42,665 How do you know when a girl 218 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,270 becomes your girlfriend? 219 00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:46,305 Oh, well, that's-- 220 00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:47,675 Because, like, I've been hanging out with Beth for, 221 00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:49,546 like, a couple weeks and, like, you know, 222 00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:52,518 we've, like, done stuff. 223 00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:55,423 You know, actually, I have a list... 224 00:09:55,423 --> 00:09:57,227 No, no, please don't read that out loud. 225 00:09:57,227 --> 00:10:01,102 She hugged me, but our fronts did not touch. 226 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:02,672 She bought me a soda, 227 00:10:02,672 --> 00:10:04,642 and she did drink most of it. 228 00:10:04,642 --> 00:10:07,782 Uh, I got cold; she let me borrow her sweater. 229 00:10:07,782 --> 00:10:11,388 I run very cold, but it's good because she runs very hot, 230 00:10:11,388 --> 00:10:12,825 if you know what I mean. 231 00:10:12,825 --> 00:10:15,664 But here's the deal, between you and me, 232 00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:18,369 - and you can't tell anyone... - Okay. 233 00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,340 We haven't, like, 234 00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,678 kissed or anything yet. 235 00:10:22,678 --> 00:10:24,481 Well, that-- that comes in time. 236 00:10:24,481 --> 00:10:25,985 Yes, but that's, like, a sign 237 00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:28,456 that you're in a relationship, right? 238 00:10:28,456 --> 00:10:29,726 I don't know. 239 00:10:29,726 --> 00:10:31,328 How did you know that you and Cheryl were together? 240 00:10:31,328 --> 00:10:33,867 She told me. 241 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,673 Yeah, that's pretty much how our entire relationship went. 242 00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:39,144 She, uh, she liked to be 243 00:10:39,144 --> 00:10:41,616 in control a lot. 244 00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:44,622 Well, Beth hasn't said anything to me yet 245 00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:46,458 because she barely talks. 246 00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,895 It's actually kind of concerning. 247 00:10:47,895 --> 00:10:49,532 You got to ask her if she's your girlfriend. 248 00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:51,770 And when you do, you just--you be honest with your feelings. 249 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:55,176 Hey! Pipe down out there! 250 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,345 Sorry. 251 00:10:57,882 --> 00:11:00,019 So word got out about my good deeds. 252 00:11:00,019 --> 00:11:02,490 Small town news flies faster than a fart in the wind. 253 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,894 So it was only a matter of time, 254 00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:06,766 but I got a bunch of dumb stuff for, you know, 255 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:09,304 all the good deeds I've been doing. 256 00:11:09,304 --> 00:11:10,708 Goalie. 257 00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:13,614 Wonder what this opens? Mickey got a moped, right? 258 00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:15,885 But today, I'm going after the white whale. 259 00:11:15,885 --> 00:11:18,055 June has a car that she doesn't even drive. 260 00:11:18,055 --> 00:11:20,260 It's just, like, sitting there gathering dust. 261 00:11:21,596 --> 00:11:23,399 This is it, the white whale. 262 00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,548 Hi, Junebug! 263 00:11:30,548 --> 00:11:32,852 Got your mail from your mailbox so you didn't have to walk 264 00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:34,756 all the way down there, long driveway. 265 00:11:34,756 --> 00:11:37,628 Aren't you just the sweetest thing? 266 00:11:37,628 --> 00:11:38,997 This girl? 267 00:11:38,997 --> 00:11:40,768 You must have heard that my back has been acting up 268 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,005 ever since I tried putting in my own deck. 269 00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:44,776 You watch one home makeover show 270 00:11:44,776 --> 00:11:47,582 and you think you're Bob Vila. Turns out, I'm not. 271 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,051 I don't know who that is, 272 00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:52,725 but if you need anything else done, I'm happy to help. 273 00:11:52,725 --> 00:11:55,330 Why, yes. Thank you. 274 00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:04,481 Okay, while we wait for Father Joe, 275 00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:06,820 I say we discuss next month's book. 276 00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:08,957 I would love to read the-- 277 00:12:08,957 --> 00:12:10,561 The Duchess and the Stable Boy. 278 00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:12,364 No. We just read that. 279 00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:13,667 And it was dumb. 280 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,704 I mean, the Duchess was always falling. 281 00:12:15,704 --> 00:12:17,642 Did she have a medical condition? 282 00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:19,211 It's called love, Leotha. 283 00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:21,883 She had to fall so the stable boy could catch her. 284 00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:23,887 This is why we need to read the book again 285 00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:26,458 because people aren't getting the nuances, clearly. 286 00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:27,662 Len, help me out. 287 00:12:27,662 --> 00:12:29,197 I'm just here for the free food. 288 00:12:29,197 --> 00:12:31,035 Kelly and Shrub, they ate all my good stuff. 289 00:12:31,035 --> 00:12:33,807 Okay, well, I've actually already brought copies 290 00:12:33,807 --> 00:12:35,711 of our next book. Gonna hand them out. 291 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,815 Oh, a little heavy, be careful, right? 292 00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:40,253 Here you go. That's for you. 293 00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:43,025 This one's for you. - Baby's First Six Months? 294 00:12:43,025 --> 00:12:46,198 Yes, all the mommy blogs give it two diapers up. 295 00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:49,806 I already raised my children. I don't need no damn book. 296 00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:53,112 Okay, well, I'm really sorry, but I'm a very busy woman. 297 00:12:53,112 --> 00:12:54,749 So if you all want me to stay in this book club, 298 00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,653 which I think you do, then we're gonna have to read 299 00:12:56,653 --> 00:12:57,855 something that's a little more relevant 300 00:12:57,855 --> 00:12:59,559 to my current situation. 301 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,663 Also, Chantal keeps chewing on her toes 302 00:13:01,663 --> 00:13:03,734 and it's really freaking me out. 303 00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,236 Anyways, all in favor 304 00:13:05,236 --> 00:13:07,575 of The Duchess and the Stable Boy, say-- 305 00:13:07,575 --> 00:13:09,444 Nay! 306 00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:11,415 God, Blind Billy, 307 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:14,922 this is a closed meeting of literary minds. 308 00:13:14,922 --> 00:13:16,291 Then what are you doing here? 309 00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:18,964 It's no secret that I hate Blind Billy. 310 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,068 He called animal control on my dog 311 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:24,642 for peeing on his grass, and he should have thanked me 312 00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,546 because it's the only water 313 00:13:26,546 --> 00:13:28,817 his grass has ever seen! 314 00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:31,589 I'm not dealing with you, not today, not any day. 315 00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:35,029 You don't have a choice. I'm Father Joe's assistant, 316 00:13:35,029 --> 00:13:38,336 and starting today, the book club is cancelled. 317 00:13:38,336 --> 00:13:39,471 You can't do that. 318 00:13:39,471 --> 00:13:41,710 Just did. It's discriminatory. 319 00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:43,780 You don't have a wheelchair ramp. 320 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,617 The snacks have nuts. 321 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,588 And that's a nut-allergy time bomb. 322 00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:50,594 And y'all pick lousy books. 323 00:13:50,594 --> 00:13:52,063 Sorry I'm late. 324 00:13:52,063 --> 00:13:55,069 Uh...how are my favorite book worms? 325 00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:57,675 Blind Billy here just canceled book club. 326 00:13:57,675 --> 00:13:58,910 Can he do that? 327 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:01,148 According to Chapter 4, Section 22 328 00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:04,354 of the Church Bylaws, any activity that discriminates 329 00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,724 or minimizes another 330 00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:07,995 shall be stricken from church property. 331 00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:10,667 - The church has bylaws? - How could you hire him? 332 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:12,437 Did you not check his references? 333 00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,305 Clearly, you never called me. 334 00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:15,978 Okay, listen, just everyone calm down, okay? 335 00:14:15,978 --> 00:14:17,815 Why the hell are you wearing a cat bell? 336 00:14:21,523 --> 00:14:23,459 It helps Billy locate me. 337 00:14:23,459 --> 00:14:24,929 His idea. 338 00:14:24,929 --> 00:14:26,699 And you know what, if I have to wear this cat bell 339 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,870 in order to help, then so be it. 340 00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:31,609 Is it annoying? Yes. 341 00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:35,149 Have I been mistaken for an ice cream truck? 342 00:14:35,684 --> 00:14:37,220 Yes. 343 00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:39,458 Have I had two horny cats and one confused dog 344 00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:42,297 chase me around Flatch? 345 00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:43,767 Yes. 346 00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:46,405 But it's all for the greater good. 347 00:14:49,244 --> 00:14:51,716 I can't believe I got him to wear the bell. 348 00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,395 Hey, how is your car running, huh? 349 00:14:58,395 --> 00:15:01,335 I could take that off your hands if you ever need it. 350 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,339 Uh, I did not expect to be here this long. 351 00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:05,644 I also didn't expect to find a raccoon skeleton 352 00:15:05,644 --> 00:15:07,147 under June's couch. 353 00:15:07,147 --> 00:15:09,384 But it's gonna be worth it, so... 354 00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:12,525 Kelly, I need your help in here. 355 00:15:12,525 --> 00:15:14,060 Okay. 356 00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:17,968 Don't forget the back. 357 00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:20,006 Heidi from Hair Matters eloped yesterday, 358 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,010 threw off my wash schedule. 359 00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,147 If I don't get a professional wash every week, 360 00:15:24,147 --> 00:15:27,020 my hair starts to look like a curtain after a hurricane. 361 00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,191 - Did you say car? - No, I don't think so. 362 00:15:29,191 --> 00:15:32,230 Ah, sounded like you did, you know? 363 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:34,769 But when was the last time you drove your car? 364 00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:36,138 Oh, years. 365 00:15:36,138 --> 00:15:38,577 I lost my virginity in that car. 366 00:15:38,577 --> 00:15:40,413 It was the summer of '71. 367 00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:44,622 Tom Jones' "She's a Lady" was playing on the radio, 368 00:15:44,622 --> 00:15:47,227 and I was everything but... 369 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,036 Okay. I have been thinking all day 370 00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:53,840 about what I'm gonna say to Beth. 371 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,176 To break the ice, 372 00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:57,915 I'm gonna teach her a few French curse words 373 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,353 because that's the language of love. 374 00:16:00,353 --> 00:16:02,525 Then I'm gonna ask her if she's my girlfriend. 375 00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:04,461 And then I'm gonna 376 00:16:04,461 --> 00:16:06,265 put my lips on hers. 377 00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:09,672 It's pretty romantic. 378 00:16:13,145 --> 00:16:16,084 - Hey, bro. - Not now, Mickey. 379 00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:17,988 Can't you see I'm--I'm trying to think. 380 00:16:17,988 --> 00:16:19,191 Sorry, bro. I was just out 381 00:16:19,191 --> 00:16:21,061 picking a carrot bouquet for Lady Beth. 382 00:16:21,061 --> 00:16:22,798 She's allergic to flowers. 383 00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:24,902 Isn't that cute? 384 00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,806 Wait, why are you giving her a carrot bouquet? 385 00:16:26,806 --> 00:16:28,042 Well, I've got a surprise for her. 386 00:16:28,042 --> 00:16:29,912 I'm gonna give her half of my reward money 387 00:16:29,912 --> 00:16:31,983 so she can pay back her cosmetology school loan. 388 00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:34,087 Then I'm gonna ask her out. 389 00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:37,193 No, dude, you can't ask her out! 390 00:16:37,193 --> 00:16:40,399 - Why not, bro? - Because we're dating. 391 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,769 Huh. Weird. 392 00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:44,207 She never told me that, and she tells me everything. 393 00:16:44,207 --> 00:16:47,447 - Oh! - Well, see you later, bro. 394 00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:51,221 It's on. 395 00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:52,858 Oh, Mickey might have a moped, but guess what? 396 00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:55,363 I know every single back way to literally get anywhere 397 00:16:55,363 --> 00:16:57,233 in Flatch. I mean, it might surprise you, 398 00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,805 I used to get chased a lot as a kid, 399 00:16:59,805 --> 00:17:02,645 but look at me now. 400 00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:07,253 - Works. - Works, okay... 401 00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:12,130 You know, this is a really pretty color blue, you know? 402 00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,134 Kind of reminds me of the color of your car, 403 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,971 you know the one you never use? 404 00:17:15,971 --> 00:17:18,577 I really need to concentrate on the pens right now. 405 00:17:19,979 --> 00:17:21,114 Oh, it doesn't work. 406 00:17:21,114 --> 00:17:23,820 Well, that was the last one. 407 00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,591 You have been such a great help today. 408 00:17:25,591 --> 00:17:26,559 Yeah. 409 00:17:26,693 --> 00:17:30,634 And for all your hard work, I have something for you. 410 00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:37,213 Take as many as you'd like. 411 00:17:40,186 --> 00:17:42,257 And there's something else too... 412 00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:47,033 the white whale. 413 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:50,206 Okay, June just signed her car over to me! 414 00:17:50,206 --> 00:17:51,910 Who needs two wheels when you can have four! 415 00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,747 Whoo! 416 00:17:55,016 --> 00:17:58,556 Okay. 417 00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:15,289 Move, move, move! Oh, my God. 418 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,205 Aw, 419 00:18:25,409 --> 00:18:27,848 Hi, Shrub! 420 00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:29,317 God! God! 421 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,190 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey. 422 00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:34,194 Sorry, sons, but you have to go around, 423 00:18:34,194 --> 00:18:37,033 truck tipped over, manure everywhere. 424 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,937 It's a literal storm. 425 00:18:38,937 --> 00:18:40,807 You're funny. 426 00:18:40,807 --> 00:18:41,943 He's funny. 427 00:18:41,943 --> 00:18:44,080 - Thanks. - Hey, Shrub--dang it! 428 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,416 Hey, nice wheels, Mick. 429 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,621 Thank you, Sheriff. Thank you, it's new. 430 00:18:51,829 --> 00:18:54,167 - Whoa! - God, Bailey, move! 431 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,808 Yes. 432 00:19:01,916 --> 00:19:04,689 Girlfriend... Are you my girlfriend? 433 00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,596 Okay. 434 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,405 Um, can I--can I have a glass of water, please? 435 00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:14,875 Yeah. 436 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:19,317 I ran out of gas on the way to Beth's house, 437 00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:21,889 and Mr. Reid picked me up. He filled my tank. 438 00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:23,225 And I helped him build his fence. 439 00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:25,129 And in return, he gave me this puppy. 440 00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:27,133 Hello. 441 00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,872 Guess who's gonna be in The Sweet Spot again? 442 00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:33,813 We are. 443 00:19:46,171 --> 00:19:49,612 Huh, he never answers the phone. 444 00:19:50,012 --> 00:19:52,016 Your podiatrist is on line one. 445 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:54,020 Oh, and I also picked the book 446 00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:56,091 for the next book club. 447 00:19:56,091 --> 00:19:57,861 Are you gonna pick it up? 448 00:19:57,861 --> 00:20:00,667 - Yes, but where's Blind Billy? - I fired him. 449 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,840 You were never gonna do it, and you're welcome. 450 00:20:04,107 --> 00:20:05,677 Do you have the right to do that? 451 00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:08,348 Yeah, according to Chapter 17, Section 4 of the bylaws, 452 00:20:08,348 --> 00:20:10,419 anyone annoying can't work here. 453 00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,958 - Is that an actual bylaw? - It is now. 454 00:20:12,958 --> 00:20:15,229 We'll discuss my salary when you get off the phone 455 00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:18,402 with your foot guy and take off that stupid bell. 456 00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:25,684 Candy. 457 00:20:35,837 --> 00:20:39,444 So I sold June's car for scraps, and I made 100 bucks. 458 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,688 Sorry. Excuse me. 459 00:20:46,057 --> 00:20:47,628 Also, I learned something about myself. 460 00:20:47,628 --> 00:20:49,565 I learned that I don't like to do good deeds, 461 00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:51,636 especially when I get nothing for it. 462 00:20:51,636 --> 00:20:54,174 It feels really good to know that about myself. 463 00:20:54,174 --> 00:20:55,911 I learned that life is too short, 464 00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:58,015 and you have to just go after what you want. 465 00:20:58,015 --> 00:21:01,087 Like, Beth and I still haven't kissed or anything, 466 00:21:01,087 --> 00:21:04,628 but I definitely have a girlfriend. 467 00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:10,206 Well, it looks like I should put myself 468 00:21:10,206 --> 00:21:12,210 in The Sweet Spot this week. 469 00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:14,214 I hired Blind Billy 470 00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:15,784 because there is nothing more rewarding 471 00:21:15,784 --> 00:21:18,890 than giving opportunities to your marginalized neighbors. 472 00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:23,766 Excuse me. One sec. 473 00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:33,252 Let's go! We don't have all day! 474 00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,790 Coming!