1
00:00:11,222 --> 00:00:13,561
Whoever started
this whole generation thing
2
00:00:13,561 --> 00:00:15,163
with X was a total idiot.
3
00:00:15,163 --> 00:00:16,867
Yeah, I mean, like,
we're already at Z.
4
00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:18,136
Yeah.
5
00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:20,207
So what happens after us?
Do they go to AA?
6
00:00:20,207 --> 00:00:22,444
(horn honking)
What the...
7
00:00:22,444 --> 00:00:23,981
Whoo.
8
00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:25,150
Hey, peeps!
9
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,354
What are my two
crazy amigos up to?
10
00:00:27,354 --> 00:00:29,927
No one says peeps anymore,
dude, okay?
11
00:00:29,927 --> 00:00:31,797
Except on Easter.
12
00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:33,801
You like?
It's new.
13
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,170
No.
14
00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:38,243
Oh, it's a little flashy
for my taste, so...
15
00:00:38,243 --> 00:00:40,982
I'm calling it Draco,
not after Harry Potter's foil.
16
00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:41,984
I knew you would go there,
17
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:43,921
but after my favorite constellation,
18
00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:45,892
Draco the Dragon,
is circumpolar...
19
00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:49,165
No one cares.
How did you get it anyway?
20
00:00:49,165 --> 00:00:51,035
I saw a wallet
lying on the street,
21
00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:52,404
like it was waiting for me.
22
00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:54,475
It's what I like to call
a serendipitous moment.
23
00:00:54,475 --> 00:00:57,181
And you stole money from the
wallet and you bought a moped?
24
00:00:57,181 --> 00:01:00,020
No, I found the concerned
gentleman who owned it,
25
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:02,157
and as a reward he gave me $200
26
00:01:02,157 --> 00:01:04,095
and this moped
that he had lying around.
27
00:01:04,095 --> 00:01:05,464
I even got featured
in The Sweet Spot
28
00:01:05,464 --> 00:01:07,167
in the Patriot.
I'm like a Flatch celebrity.
29
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,236
I'm surprised
you haven't heard.
30
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,806
- I'm sorry--okay.
- Uh-huh.
31
00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:13,046
You're telling me that
you got a moped and 200 bucks
32
00:01:13,046 --> 00:01:15,150
- because you returned a wallet?
- Mm-hmm.
33
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:16,754
We need to find
a lost wallet.
34
00:01:16,754 --> 00:01:17,856
- Right now.
- Is that a wallet?
35
00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:19,593
Go that way.
36
00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:26,039
I like your place.
It really screams you.
37
00:01:26,039 --> 00:01:27,776
(chuckles)
38
00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:31,215
You read my paper?
39
00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:33,219
Yeah, I like to check out
the competition
40
00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:35,157
- in more ways than one.
- (laughs)
41
00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:37,328
But that new column
about good news,
42
00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:41,737
um, what's it called?
The Sweet Place?
43
00:01:41,737 --> 00:01:43,473
- The Sweet Spot.
- Yes.
44
00:01:43,473 --> 00:01:46,446
It's human interest fluff.
Unless people are giving in
45
00:01:46,446 --> 00:01:49,385
to their basest animal
instincts, no one cares.
46
00:01:49,385 --> 00:01:51,055
People need positive news
in their lives.
47
00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:52,191
Oh, positive?
48
00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:55,230
You mean the kid
who took advantage
49
00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:57,067
of an elderly
by swindling money
50
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,771
and a moped out of him?
51
00:01:58,771 --> 00:02:00,808
How can you be so cynical?
52
00:02:00,808 --> 00:02:02,545
And how can you be so naive?
53
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,850
Optimistic.
54
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,787
Potato/potahto.
55
00:02:07,589 --> 00:02:08,824
Oh, it's potato.
56
00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:14,135
That was kind of weird,
57
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,674
but kind of hot too.
58
00:02:16,674 --> 00:02:17,942
We kissed,
59
00:02:17,942 --> 00:02:20,113
but he was so mean,
60
00:02:20,113 --> 00:02:22,084
but it was hot.
61
00:02:22,084 --> 00:02:24,422
Yeah, definitely hot.
62
00:02:28,029 --> 00:02:29,733
(car door clicks shut)
63
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,336
Hey, everyone.
64
00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:34,241
Tickets for the meat raffle
don't go on sale till tomorrow.
65
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,747
We're here
for the assistant position.
66
00:02:36,747 --> 00:02:38,049
Assistant?
67
00:02:38,049 --> 00:02:39,385
Christine Cradle
at the Suit Shack
68
00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:41,557
said that you
need an assistant.
69
00:02:42,692 --> 00:02:43,728
Huh.
70
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,865
I off-handedly mentioned
to Christine,
71
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,267
while buying a suit jacket,
72
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,372
that I wish I had a bit more
help around the church.
73
00:02:49,372 --> 00:02:51,442
I guess in a small town,
there's no such thing
74
00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:54,048
as minister-salesperson
confidentiality,
75
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:57,221
but I am excited.
76
00:02:57,221 --> 00:02:59,526
I'm getting an employee.
77
00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,897
This opens up
a whole new world for me.
78
00:03:01,897 --> 00:03:05,705
Holiday gift exchanges will be
a lot more surprising, for one.
79
00:03:07,074 --> 00:03:09,311
I'm the boss.
80
00:03:16,292 --> 00:03:19,933
So we didn't find
any lost wallets yesterday.
81
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,137
So on to Plan B.
82
00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:24,008
Ah, dude,
do we have to deliver
83
00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:25,578
these all the way
to Len's house?
84
00:03:25,578 --> 00:03:27,147
I mean, can't we just, like,
leave them here
85
00:03:27,147 --> 00:03:28,551
and just, like, tell him
where to find them?
86
00:03:28,551 --> 00:03:31,089
Shut up, delivering them
was the deal, okay?
87
00:03:31,089 --> 00:03:32,257
- (sighs)
- And Len was the only one
88
00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:33,928
to take us up
on our good-deeds offer.
89
00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:35,297
I'm just tired.
90
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:38,236
Flatch has, like, all these
charities to help people.
91
00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:39,506
There's soup for the old,
92
00:03:39,506 --> 00:03:41,476
which is kind of,
like, ageist, you know?
93
00:03:41,476 --> 00:03:43,848
Then there's take a neck brace,
leave a neck brace.
94
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,518
There's one that, like,
fills in holes,
95
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,989
because people don't know
how to look where they walk.
96
00:03:47,989 --> 00:03:49,325
Anyways,
they're all pretty lame.
97
00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:51,062
And this way
we keep the proceeds,
98
00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:52,197
like, we're the charity.
99
00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:55,170
Yeah.
Oh, dude, it's Beth.
100
00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:57,141
Come on, hurry.
Maybe she won't see us.
101
00:03:57,141 --> 00:04:00,046
Sup, Beth?
You look fire.
102
00:04:00,046 --> 00:04:01,517
Yeah, Beth and I
103
00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:03,319
have been hanging out
for, like, two weeks.
104
00:04:03,319 --> 00:04:06,225
Um, mainly just walking,
105
00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,196
um, get my steps in.
106
00:04:08,196 --> 00:04:10,133
We don't talk a lot,
107
00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:12,539
but mystery is
in the silences.
108
00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,214
Ew.
109
00:04:17,214 --> 00:04:19,553
What is that?
110
00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:20,955
Come on!
111
00:04:20,955 --> 00:04:22,725
Um, I...
112
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,902
Oh, my God, dude,
did you just see that?
113
00:04:27,902 --> 00:04:31,510
Dude, Beth just side hugged me.
What does that mean, dude?
114
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:35,117
Like, do you think we're,
like, officially a thing?
115
00:04:35,117 --> 00:04:37,187
Who cares, okay?
I need you to focus, like...
116
00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:38,490
Oh, my God.
117
00:04:38,490 --> 00:04:40,828
Hey, guys.
What are you up to?
118
00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:43,233
We are delivering
Len's groceries.
119
00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:45,505
He gave us a list.
We shop and deliver.
120
00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:48,209
Just one of our good deeds
for the day.
121
00:04:48,209 --> 00:04:50,748
Well, that is
very nice of you.
122
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,685
Thanks, we're all about
doing the right thing.
123
00:04:52,685 --> 00:04:56,760
I was inspired
by Kelly and Shrub today,
124
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:57,829
which is a change,
125
00:04:57,829 --> 00:05:00,433
because they mostly
inspire worry.
126
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:01,637
And so I hired Blind Billy.
127
00:05:01,637 --> 00:05:04,441
He seems like a smart,
capable guy,
128
00:05:04,441 --> 00:05:06,312
and it's a privilege
to offer opportunities
129
00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:08,216
to those who often
get overlooked.
130
00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:10,253
You have no idea
how many people can't look
131
00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:11,590
past my blindness.
132
00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:14,495
I'm so far past it,
I can't even see it at all.
133
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:17,702
Was that offensive?
134
00:05:18,369 --> 00:05:20,140
That was actionable.
135
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:22,545
Oh, my gosh.
I am so sorry.
136
00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:26,152
I'm just roasting you, padre.
(laughing).
137
00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:28,456
Oh, ha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha...
138
00:05:28,456 --> 00:05:31,295
I hired Blind Billy to work
out at my farm,
139
00:05:31,295 --> 00:05:34,168
because he said
he was a hard worker
140
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,372
and good with his hands.
141
00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:38,409
He was good with his hands
all right.
142
00:05:38,409 --> 00:05:40,548
He's got one of
my daughters pregnant
143
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,319
and the other one
keeps writing him letters.
144
00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:45,190
I hired Blind Billy
as a tour guide.
145
00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:46,727
He claimed he knew
the history of Flatch
146
00:05:46,727 --> 00:05:49,031
like the back of his hand,
but then I caught him
147
00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:51,202
reciting the theme song
to Gilligan's Island
148
00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:52,539
like it really happened here.
149
00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:55,310
It didn't.
It's a TV show.
150
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,515
(knocking)
151
00:05:58,416 --> 00:06:00,688
- Hey!
- Hi, Len, as promised!
152
00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:02,525
Also, we went paper
on the bags,
153
00:06:02,525 --> 00:06:04,963
so recyclable.
Double good deed.
154
00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:07,000
But where the hell
is the rest of my food?
155
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,102
Should be in there.
156
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:09,940
Mm-hmm.
157
00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,375
You ate them.
158
00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:13,647
I can smell my vinegar chips
on your breath.
159
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:15,483
I have the metabolism
of a hummingbird, okay?
160
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:18,657
So I have to keep refueling.
Okay, reward time.
161
00:06:18,657 --> 00:06:21,329
Now Mickey was recently gifted
a moped, you know,
162
00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:23,066
in terms of compensation--
163
00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:26,974
You're welcome!
164
00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:34,455
Day two, and things are going
really well with Blind Billy.
165
00:06:34,455 --> 00:06:37,060
Sure, I've had to make
a few accommodations,
166
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,797
but more than happy to.
167
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,204
Blind Billy is now free to roam
168
00:06:42,204 --> 00:06:45,477
without fear or sharp corners,
169
00:06:45,477 --> 00:06:48,449
like Jesus
in the Judaean Desert,
170
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,554
except there's
no temptation here,
171
00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:52,926
unless you count
my secret candy drawer.
172
00:06:52,926 --> 00:06:54,228
(laughs)
173
00:06:54,228 --> 00:06:57,267
(loud banging)
174
00:06:57,267 --> 00:07:00,574
(phone ringing)
175
00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:05,116
(sighs)
176
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,001
(grunts)
177
00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:22,885
(laughs)
No big deal.
178
00:07:26,526 --> 00:07:28,229
(phone continues ringing)
179
00:07:28,229 --> 00:07:29,666
- (yelps)
- (yelps)
180
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,670
You can't just sneak up
on me like that.
181
00:07:31,670 --> 00:07:33,941
I'm blind!
My other senses are heightened.
182
00:07:33,941 --> 00:07:36,813
You could have killed me
with a touch like that.
183
00:07:36,813 --> 00:07:38,550
Sorry, but you
probably shouldn't be
184
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:40,453
listening to headphones
while the phone is ringing.
185
00:07:40,453 --> 00:07:43,827
And how do you expect me
to read a book?
186
00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:47,367
I don't know if you've noticed,
but I'm blind.
187
00:07:47,669 --> 00:07:49,773
So if you'll excuse me...
188
00:07:50,775 --> 00:07:53,179
Maybe you shouldn't be
reading while you're...
189
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,849
Okay.
190
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,220
BILLY: It's important to me
that people don't look at me
191
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,824
and just see my disability.
192
00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:01,162
I don't want the first thing
they say to be,
193
00:08:01,162 --> 00:08:03,099
"There goes that blind guy."
194
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,437
I want them to think,
195
00:08:05,437 --> 00:08:09,011
"There goes that [bleep]
who happens to be blind."
196
00:08:09,011 --> 00:08:10,146
(laughs)
197
00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:28,282
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, what's up?
198
00:08:28,282 --> 00:08:29,552
I need your help
choosing the book
199
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,222
for the next book club.
200
00:08:31,222 --> 00:08:32,457
It's Father Joe's turn,
201
00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:34,629
and I just can't with him.
202
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:37,334
How many Agatha Christies
am I expected to read?
203
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:39,004
Oh, I know.
He loves those,
204
00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:42,144
but I'm actually gonna miss
tomorrow's book club meeting
205
00:08:42,144 --> 00:08:44,716
because I have a date
with Jimmy again.
206
00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:47,487
Ladies, am I invisible?
I'm on the phone, like...
207
00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:50,060
Okay, sorry,
what were you saying?
208
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,965
So you like him?
209
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,334
No.
(laughs)
210
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,105
Yes.
I don't know, maybe.
211
00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:58,944
Oh, it's so weird.
212
00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:01,415
We have this bantery thing,
which is kind of sexy,
213
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:05,090
but then it stops being bantery
and starts getting fighty.
214
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:08,329
Oh, yeah.
You two wrestle?
215
00:09:08,329 --> 00:09:10,568
No.
(laughs)
216
00:09:10,568 --> 00:09:13,372
Well, we do wrestle
with our minds,
217
00:09:13,372 --> 00:09:15,778
which is kind of invigorating, mainly.
218
00:09:15,778 --> 00:09:18,249
I mean, Joe and I,
I was always the alpha,
219
00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:19,384
but with Jimmy
it's kind of like
220
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,621
we're two rival debate captains
221
00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:22,658
stuffed in a sack
clawing it out.
222
00:09:22,658 --> 00:09:24,863
That doesn't sound sexy.
223
00:09:28,637 --> 00:09:30,808
- Hey there, Shrub.
- Why are you working outside?
224
00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:33,479
Oh, I'm just giving
Blind Billy his space.
225
00:09:33,479 --> 00:09:35,518
Yeah, he meditates
every day for an hour,
226
00:09:35,518 --> 00:09:36,820
and he says he can
smell my presence.
227
00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:39,191
Can I ask you a question
real quick?
228
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:42,665
How do you know when a girl
229
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,270
becomes your girlfriend?
230
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:46,305
Oh, well, that's--
231
00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:47,675
Because, like, I've been
hanging out with Beth for,
232
00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:49,546
like, a couple weeks
and, like, you know,
233
00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:52,518
we've, like, done stuff.
234
00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:55,423
You know, actually,
I have a list...
235
00:09:55,423 --> 00:09:57,227
No, no, please don't
read that out loud.
236
00:09:57,227 --> 00:10:01,102
She hugged me,
but our fronts did not touch.
237
00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:02,672
She bought me a soda,
238
00:10:02,672 --> 00:10:04,642
and she did drink most of it.
239
00:10:04,642 --> 00:10:07,782
Uh, I got cold;
she let me borrow her sweater.
240
00:10:07,782 --> 00:10:11,388
I run very cold, but it's good
because she runs very hot,
241
00:10:11,388 --> 00:10:12,825
if you know what I mean.
242
00:10:12,825 --> 00:10:15,664
But here's the deal,
between you and me,
243
00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:18,369
- and you can't tell anyone...
- Okay.
244
00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,340
We haven't, like,
245
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,678
kissed or anything yet.
246
00:10:22,678 --> 00:10:24,481
Well, that--
that comes in time.
247
00:10:24,481 --> 00:10:25,985
Yes, but that's, like, a sign
248
00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:28,456
that you're
in a relationship, right?
249
00:10:28,456 --> 00:10:29,726
I don't know.
250
00:10:29,726 --> 00:10:31,328
How did you know that you
and Cheryl were together?
251
00:10:31,328 --> 00:10:33,867
(laughs)
She told me.
252
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,673
Yeah, that's pretty much how
our entire relationship went.
253
00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:39,144
She, uh, she liked to be
254
00:10:39,144 --> 00:10:41,616
in control a lot.
255
00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:44,622
Well, Beth hasn't said
anything to me yet
256
00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:46,458
because she barely talks.
257
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,895
It's actually
kind of concerning.
258
00:10:47,895 --> 00:10:49,532
You got to ask her
if she's your girlfriend.
259
00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:51,770
And when you do, you just--you
be honest with your feelings.
260
00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:55,176
Hey!
Pipe down out there!
261
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,345
Sorry.
262
00:10:57,882 --> 00:11:00,019
So word got out
about my good deeds.
263
00:11:00,019 --> 00:11:02,490
Small town news flies faster
than a fart in the wind.
264
00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:03,894
So it was only
a matter of time,
265
00:11:03,894 --> 00:11:06,766
but I got a bunch of dumb stuff
for, you know,
266
00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:09,304
all the good deeds
I've been doing.
267
00:11:09,304 --> 00:11:10,708
Goalie.
268
00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:13,614
Wonder what this opens?
Mickey got a moped, right?
269
00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:15,885
But today, I'm going
after the white whale.
270
00:11:15,885 --> 00:11:18,055
June has a car
that she doesn't even drive.
271
00:11:18,055 --> 00:11:20,260
It's just, like,
sitting there gathering dust.
272
00:11:21,596 --> 00:11:23,399
This is it, the white whale.
273
00:11:26,105 --> 00:11:27,274
(doorbell rings)
274
00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,548
Hi, Junebug!
275
00:11:30,548 --> 00:11:32,852
Got your mail from your mailbox
so you didn't have to walk
276
00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:34,756
all the way down there,
long driveway.
277
00:11:34,756 --> 00:11:37,628
Aren't you just
the sweetest thing?
278
00:11:37,628 --> 00:11:38,997
This girl?
279
00:11:38,997 --> 00:11:40,768
You must have heard
that my back has been acting up
280
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,005
ever since I tried
putting in my own deck.
281
00:11:43,005 --> 00:11:44,776
You watch one home
makeover show
282
00:11:44,776 --> 00:11:47,582
and you think you're Bob Vila.
Turns out, I'm not.
283
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,051
I don't know who that is,
284
00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:52,725
but if you need anything else
done, I'm happy to help.
285
00:11:52,725 --> 00:11:55,330
Why, yes.
Thank you.
286
00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:04,481
Okay, while we wait
for Father Joe,
287
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:06,820
I say we discuss
next month's book.
288
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:08,957
I would love to read the--
289
00:12:08,957 --> 00:12:10,561
The Duchess
and the Stable Boy.
290
00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:12,364
No.
We just read that.
291
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:13,667
And it was dumb.
292
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,704
I mean, the Duchess
was always falling.
293
00:12:15,704 --> 00:12:17,642
Did she have
a medical condition?
294
00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:19,211
It's called love, Leotha.
295
00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:21,883
She had to fall so
the stable boy could catch her.
296
00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:23,887
This is why we need
to read the book again
297
00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:26,458
because people aren't getting
the nuances, clearly.
298
00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:27,662
Len, help me out.
299
00:12:27,662 --> 00:12:29,197
I'm just here
for the free food.
300
00:12:29,197 --> 00:12:31,035
Kelly and Shrub,
they ate all my good stuff.
301
00:12:31,035 --> 00:12:33,807
Okay, well, I've actually
already brought copies
302
00:12:33,807 --> 00:12:35,711
of our next book.
Gonna hand them out.
303
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,815
Oh, a little heavy,
be careful, right?
304
00:12:37,815 --> 00:12:40,253
Here you go.
That's for you.
305
00:12:40,253 --> 00:12:43,025
- This one's for you. - Baby's First Six Months?
306
00:12:43,025 --> 00:12:46,198
Yes, all the mommy blogs
give it two diapers up.
307
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:49,806
I already raised my children.
I don't need no damn book.
308
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:53,112
Okay, well, I'm really sorry,
but I'm a very busy woman.
309
00:12:53,112 --> 00:12:54,749
So if you all want me
to stay in this book club,
310
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,653
which I think you do,
then we're gonna have to read
311
00:12:56,653 --> 00:12:57,855
something that's
a little more relevant
312
00:12:57,855 --> 00:12:59,559
to my current situation.
313
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,663
Also, Chantal keeps
chewing on her toes
314
00:13:01,663 --> 00:13:03,734
and it's really
freaking me out.
315
00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,236
Anyways, all in favor
316
00:13:05,236 --> 00:13:07,575
of The Duchess
and the Stable Boy, say--
317
00:13:07,575 --> 00:13:09,444
Nay!
318
00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:11,415
God, Blind Billy,
319
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:14,922
this is a closed meeting
of literary minds.
320
00:13:14,922 --> 00:13:16,291
(laughs)
Then what are you doing here?
321
00:13:16,291 --> 00:13:18,964
MANDY: It's no secret
that I hate Blind Billy.
322
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,068
He called animal control
on my dog
323
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:24,642
for peeing on his grass,
and he should have thanked me
324
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,546
because it's the only water
325
00:13:26,546 --> 00:13:28,817
his grass has ever seen!
326
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:31,589
I'm not dealing with you,
not today, not any day.
327
00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:35,029
You don't have a choice.
I'm Father Joe's assistant,
328
00:13:35,029 --> 00:13:38,336
and starting today,
the book club is cancelled.
329
00:13:38,336 --> 00:13:39,471
You can't do that.
330
00:13:39,471 --> 00:13:41,710
Just did.
It's discriminatory.
331
00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:43,780
You don't have
a wheelchair ramp.
332
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,617
The snacks have nuts.
333
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,588
And that's
a nut-allergy time bomb.
334
00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:50,594
And y'all pick lousy books.
335
00:13:50,594 --> 00:13:52,063
Sorry I'm late.
336
00:13:52,063 --> 00:13:55,069
Uh...how are
my favorite book worms?
337
00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:57,675
Blind Billy here
just canceled book club.
338
00:13:57,675 --> 00:13:58,910
Can he do that?
339
00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:01,148
According to Chapter 4,
Section 22
340
00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:04,354
of the Church Bylaws,
any activity that discriminates
341
00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,724
or minimizes another
342
00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:07,995
shall be stricken
from church property.
343
00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:10,667
- The church has bylaws?
- How could you hire him?
344
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:12,437
Did you not check
his references?
345
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:13,305
Clearly,
you never called me.
346
00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:15,978
Okay, listen, just everyone
calm down, okay?
347
00:14:15,978 --> 00:14:17,815
Why the hell are you
wearing a cat bell?
348
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:21,523
(bell ringing)
349
00:14:21,523 --> 00:14:23,459
It helps Billy locate me.
350
00:14:23,459 --> 00:14:24,929
His idea.
351
00:14:24,929 --> 00:14:26,699
And you know what,
if I have to wear this cat bell
352
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,870
in order to help,
then so be it.
353
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:31,609
Is it annoying?
Yes.
354
00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:35,149
Have I been mistaken
for an ice cream truck?
355
00:14:35,684 --> 00:14:37,220
Yes.
356
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:39,458
Have I had two horny cats
and one confused dog
357
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:42,297
chase me around Flatch?
358
00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:43,767
Yes.
359
00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:46,405
But it's all
for the greater good.
360
00:14:49,244 --> 00:14:51,716
I can't believe I got him
to wear the bell.
361
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:54,622
(laughing)
362
00:14:54,622 --> 00:14:55,791
(vacuum running)
363
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,395
Hey, how is your car
running, huh?
364
00:14:58,395 --> 00:15:01,335
I could take that off your
hands if you ever need it.
365
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,339
Uh, I did not expect
to be here this long.
366
00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:05,644
I also didn't expect
to find a raccoon skeleton
367
00:15:05,644 --> 00:15:07,147
under June's couch.
368
00:15:07,147 --> 00:15:09,384
But it's gonna be worth it, so...
369
00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:12,525
Kelly, I need
your help in here.
370
00:15:12,525 --> 00:15:14,060
Okay.
371
00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:17,968
Don't forget the back.
372
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:20,006
Heidi from Hair Matters
eloped yesterday,
373
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,010
threw off my wash schedule.
374
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,147
If I don't get
a professional wash every week,
375
00:15:24,147 --> 00:15:27,020
my hair starts to look like
a curtain after a hurricane.
376
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:29,191
- Did you say car?
- No, I don't think so.
377
00:15:29,191 --> 00:15:32,230
Ah, sounded like you did,
you know?
378
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:34,769
But when was the last time
you drove your car?
379
00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:36,138
Oh, years.
380
00:15:36,138 --> 00:15:38,577
I lost my virginity
in that car.
381
00:15:38,577 --> 00:15:40,413
It was the summer of '71.
382
00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:44,622
Tom Jones' "She's a Lady"
was playing on the radio,
383
00:15:44,622 --> 00:15:47,227
and I was everything but...
384
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,036
SHRUB: Okay.
I have been thinking all day
385
00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:53,840
about what I'm gonna say
to Beth.
386
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,176
To break the ice,
387
00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:57,915
I'm gonna teach her
a few French curse words
388
00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,353
because that's
the language of love.
389
00:16:00,353 --> 00:16:02,525
Then I'm gonna ask her
if she's my girlfriend.
390
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:04,461
And then I'm gonna
391
00:16:04,461 --> 00:16:06,265
put my lips on hers.
392
00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:09,672
It's pretty romantic.
393
00:16:09,672 --> 00:16:13,145
(engine revving)
394
00:16:13,145 --> 00:16:16,084
- Hey, bro.
- Not now, Mickey.
395
00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:17,988
Can't you see
I'm--I'm trying to think.
396
00:16:17,988 --> 00:16:19,191
Sorry, bro.
I was just out
397
00:16:19,191 --> 00:16:21,061
picking a carrot bouquet
for Lady Beth.
398
00:16:21,061 --> 00:16:22,798
She's allergic to flowers.
399
00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:24,902
Isn't that cute?
(chuckles)
400
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,806
Wait, why are you giving her
a carrot bouquet?
401
00:16:26,806 --> 00:16:28,042
Well, I've got
a surprise for her.
402
00:16:28,042 --> 00:16:29,912
I'm gonna give her
half of my reward money
403
00:16:29,912 --> 00:16:31,983
so she can pay back
her cosmetology school loan.
404
00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:34,087
Then I'm gonna ask her out.
405
00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:37,193
No, dude,
you can't ask her out!
406
00:16:37,193 --> 00:16:40,399
- Why not, bro?
- Because we're dating.
407
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,769
Huh.
Weird.
408
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:44,207
She never told me that,
and she tells me everything.
409
00:16:44,207 --> 00:16:47,447
- Oh!
- Well, see you later, bro.
410
00:16:47,447 --> 00:16:49,819
(horn beeping)
411
00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:51,221
It's on.
412
00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:52,858
Oh, Mickey might have a moped,
but guess what?
413
00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:55,363
I know every single back way
to literally get anywhere
414
00:16:55,363 --> 00:16:57,233
in Flatch.
I mean, it might surprise you,
415
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,805
I used to get chased a lot
as a kid,
416
00:16:59,805 --> 00:17:02,645
but look at me now.
417
00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:07,253
- Works.
- Works, okay...
418
00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:12,130
You know, this is a really
pretty color blue, you know?
419
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,134
Kind of reminds me of
the color of your car,
420
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,971
you know the one you never use?
421
00:17:15,971 --> 00:17:18,577
I really need to concentrate
on the pens right now.
422
00:17:19,979 --> 00:17:21,114
Oh, it doesn't work.
423
00:17:21,114 --> 00:17:23,820
Well, that was the last one.
424
00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,591
You have been
such a great help today.
425
00:17:25,591 --> 00:17:26,559
Yeah.
426
00:17:26,693 --> 00:17:30,634
And for all your hard work,
I have something for you.
427
00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:37,213
Take as many as you'd like.
428
00:17:40,186 --> 00:17:42,257
And there's
something else too...
429
00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:47,033
[bleep] the white whale.
430
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:50,206
Okay, June just signed
her car over to me!
431
00:17:50,206 --> 00:17:51,910
Who needs two wheels
when you can have four!
432
00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,747
Whoo!
433
00:17:55,016 --> 00:17:58,556
(laughs)
Okay.
434
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:15,289
Move, move, move!
Oh, my God.
435
00:18:16,659 --> 00:18:19,799
(horn beeping)
436
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,205
Aw, [bleep].
437
00:18:25,409 --> 00:18:27,848
(horn honks)
Hi, Shrub!
438
00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:29,317
God!
God!
439
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,190
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey.
440
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:34,194
Sorry, sons,
but you have to go around,
441
00:18:34,194 --> 00:18:37,033
truck tipped over,
manure everywhere.
442
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,937
It's a literal [bleep] storm.
443
00:18:38,937 --> 00:18:40,807
(chuckles)
You're funny.
444
00:18:40,807 --> 00:18:41,943
He's funny.
445
00:18:41,943 --> 00:18:44,080
- Thanks.
- Hey, Shrub--dang it!
446
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,416
Hey, nice wheels, Mick.
447
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,621
Thank you, Sheriff.
Thank you, it's new.
448
00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:50,594
(heavy breathing)
449
00:18:51,829 --> 00:18:54,167
- Whoa!
- God, Bailey, move!
450
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,808
Yes.
(heavy breathing)
451
00:18:59,779 --> 00:19:01,916
(grunts)
452
00:19:01,916 --> 00:19:04,689
Girlfriend...
Are you my girlfriend?
453
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,596
Okay.
454
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,405
Um, can I--can I have
a glass of water, please?
455
00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:14,875
Yeah.
456
00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:19,317
MICKEY: I ran out of gas
on the way to Beth's house,
457
00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:21,889
and Mr. Reid picked me up.
He filled my tank.
458
00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:23,225
And I helped him
build his fence.
459
00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:25,129
And in return,
he gave me this puppy.
460
00:19:25,129 --> 00:19:27,133
(laughs)
Hello.
461
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,872
Guess who's gonna be in
The Sweet Spot again?
462
00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:33,813
We are.
(laughing)
463
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:38,723
(phone ringing)
464
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,898
(sighs)
465
00:19:46,171 --> 00:19:49,612
Huh, he never
answers the phone.
466
00:19:50,012 --> 00:19:52,016
Your podiatrist
is on line one.
467
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:54,020
Oh, and I also picked the book
468
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:56,091
for the next book club.
469
00:19:56,091 --> 00:19:57,861
Are you gonna pick it up?
470
00:19:57,861 --> 00:20:00,667
- Yes, but where's Blind Billy?
- I fired him.
471
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,840
You were never gonna do it,
and you're welcome.
472
00:20:04,107 --> 00:20:05,677
Do you have the right
to do that?
473
00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:08,348
Yeah, according to Chapter
17, Section 4 of the bylaws,
474
00:20:08,348 --> 00:20:10,419
anyone annoying
can't work here.
475
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,958
- Is that an actual bylaw?
- It is now.
476
00:20:12,958 --> 00:20:15,229
We'll discuss my salary
when you get off the phone
477
00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:18,402
with your foot guy
and take off that stupid bell.
478
00:20:18,937 --> 00:20:20,907
(sighs)
479
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:25,684
Candy.
480
00:20:35,837 --> 00:20:39,444
So I sold June's car for
scraps, and I made 100 bucks.
481
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,688
Sorry.
Excuse me.
482
00:20:46,057 --> 00:20:47,628
Also, I learned something
about myself.
483
00:20:47,628 --> 00:20:49,565
I learned that I don't like
to do good deeds,
484
00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:51,636
especially
when I get nothing for it.
485
00:20:51,636 --> 00:20:54,174
It feels really good to know
that about myself.
486
00:20:54,174 --> 00:20:55,911
I learned that life
is too short,
487
00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:58,015
and you have to just go
after what you want.
488
00:20:58,015 --> 00:21:01,087
Like, Beth and I still
haven't kissed or anything,
489
00:21:01,087 --> 00:21:04,628
but I definitely
have a girlfriend.
490
00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:10,206
Well, it looks like
I should put myself
491
00:21:10,206 --> 00:21:12,210
in The Sweet Spot this week.
(laughs)
492
00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:14,214
I hired Blind Billy
493
00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:15,784
because there is
nothing more rewarding
494
00:21:15,784 --> 00:21:18,890
than giving opportunities
to your marginalized neighbors.
495
00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:23,766
Excuse me.
One sec.
496
00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:33,252
Let's go!
We don't have all day!
497
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,790
(bell ringing)
Coming!