1 00:00:01,910 --> 00:00:05,129 (birds chirping) 2 00:00:14,089 --> 00:00:16,406 So I'm still killing it at the car lot. 3 00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:17,574 Same. 4 00:00:17,593 --> 00:00:19,092 Since Shrub can't drive, I've been helping out 5 00:00:19,094 --> 00:00:21,261 by driving the dirty cars up for him to clean. 6 00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:23,096 SHRUB: To detail. I'm a detailer. 7 00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,431 I'm honestly surprised 8 00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,191 everyone's cool with Kelly hanging around. 9 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,527 Yes. I am currently being paid in donuts, 10 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,436 but it's cool, 11 00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,104 because donuts turn into energy, 12 00:00:31,106 --> 00:00:33,348 which turns into ideas to make money. 13 00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:34,366 You know? 14 00:00:34,518 --> 00:00:36,702 For me, it's never been about working hard. 15 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,162 It's about working smart. 16 00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:44,025 Dude, okay, they're not mammals. 17 00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,027 -Whales lay eggs. -No-- 18 00:00:46,029 --> 00:00:47,212 They're, like, a delicacy in Japan. 19 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,696 Read a book sometime, for real. 20 00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:49,715 Okay. 21 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,124 (indistinct chatter) 22 00:00:51,126 --> 00:00:52,718 DYLAN: Hey, Kelly. Hey, Shrub. 23 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,053 KELLY: Hey. 24 00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,612 Do you guys know what's going on? 25 00:00:55,614 --> 00:00:58,131 The big "No Credit, Bad Credit" sales event is coming up. 26 00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,950 -(Shrub wheezing) -So the cameras are setting up 27 00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:00,893 for the commercial shoot tomorrow. 28 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,786 Cool. 29 00:01:02,788 --> 00:01:05,547 Okay, so the Parneys run these epically chaotic, 30 00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,066 terrible, amazing, 31 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,642 like, legendary horrible commercials. 32 00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:11,570 SHRUB: They're deranged and perfect; we're obsessed. 33 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,738 KELLY: Like, completely. 34 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:13,997 They're like a five-car pileup 35 00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,132 starring Dylan's whack-job dad. 36 00:01:15,134 --> 00:01:16,241 SHRUB: I can't believe it. 37 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,859 I never thought I'd see one get filmed. 38 00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:19,060 Dude, this is probably the best thing 39 00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:21,471 -that has ever happened to us. -(laughs) 40 00:01:21,473 --> 00:01:22,247 No offense. 41 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,731 Dylan and I are here to rehearse 42 00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:24,808 because we're starring 43 00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:25,918 in the commercial this year. 44 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,145 So we'd actually better go get inside. 45 00:01:28,147 --> 00:01:30,981 Oh, yeah. Bye, guys. We'll see you in there. 46 00:01:30,983 --> 00:01:34,334 -(both laughing) -Oh my God! 47 00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:36,503 Jimmy and I are road-tripping to Cleveland. 48 00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:37,745 (laughs) 49 00:01:37,747 --> 00:01:40,006 We are both nominated for the Regional Ohio 50 00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:41,916 Journalist Awards. 51 00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:43,327 Same category, actually. 52 00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:46,012 "Best Investigative Reporting." 53 00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,273 I did an exposé on the girls' volleyball team 54 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,441 down at County High. 55 00:01:49,668 --> 00:01:51,944 They deflated the balls to win the playoffs. 56 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,946 And Jimmy is nominated for his takedown 57 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,430 of a Pockton City Council member. 58 00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,432 Excited to see what happens. 59 00:01:57,434 --> 00:02:00,344 And also, I think a little friendly competition 60 00:02:00,346 --> 00:02:05,031 can be quite sexy in a relationship. 61 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:07,017 I can just drive at the halfway point. 62 00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:09,369 Um, no, that's okay. I got it. 63 00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:10,537 Yeah, but I want to. 64 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,206 Eh, it rejuvenates me to stay behind the wheel. 65 00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:15,425 -We'll see. -Ah, we'll see. 66 00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:22,032 FATHER JOE: I have been an efficiency machine 67 00:02:22,034 --> 00:02:23,458 these past few weeks. 68 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:25,644 I wrote all my sermons for the next month. 69 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,962 I winterized my roses. 70 00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:29,890 I even got my plantar warts removed. 71 00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:31,892 From a real doctor this time. 72 00:02:31,894 --> 00:02:33,393 Yeah, my schedule's been real light 73 00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:36,137 since Shrub and Kelly started working at the car lot. 74 00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:37,656 What a change. 75 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,973 Seems like it was just yesterday 76 00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,993 that they were jumping out of closets in clown masks 77 00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:44,663 and locking me out of my own phone. 78 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,390 Memories. 79 00:02:46,392 --> 00:02:48,241 So yeah, I mean, I'm still the low man. 80 00:02:48,243 --> 00:02:50,243 So I do get punted most of the bodily fluids stains. 81 00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:53,747 But other than that, I'm just stoked to finally let my craft 82 00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:55,323 and my art come first. 83 00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:57,176 Like, I've done 50 cars now. 84 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,069 And each one, I'm not even kidding, 85 00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:01,254 feels just as special as the first one. 86 00:03:01,256 --> 00:03:02,681 I mean, not to be, like, whatever, 87 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,166 but you bond with these cars, you know? 88 00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:06,593 You nurture them. 89 00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:09,170 You do everything that you can to make them great. 90 00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:10,338 And then before you know it, 91 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:12,006 they're fleeing the nest, like a bird 92 00:03:12,008 --> 00:03:14,359 going off to bird community college. 93 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,769 And... 94 00:03:15,771 --> 00:03:17,362 -Mallet. -Boss. 95 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,697 I've got an assignment for you. 96 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,865 -Hit me. -You're detailing 97 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,867 the car for the ad, decal and all. 98 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:22,926 Linda, if this is a prank, 99 00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:24,161 you've gone too far. 100 00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:26,263 You're ready. 101 00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,432 And frankly, I'm blown away by your talent. 102 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:29,933 The things that you can do with a vacuum 103 00:03:29,935 --> 00:03:31,752 and a squeegee should be illegal. 104 00:03:33,196 --> 00:03:35,255 Also, my osteoarthritis is acting up. 105 00:03:36,124 --> 00:03:39,343 (indistinct PA announcement) 106 00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:48,468 So apparently there's just a table of free food 107 00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:50,229 on real TV sets. 108 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,897 I don't know why you guys never hook us up like that. 109 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,139 Huh? 110 00:03:53,141 --> 00:03:55,625 -If I say he's out, he's out. -Okay. 111 00:03:55,627 --> 00:03:57,127 What was that about? 112 00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,237 Parney is a maniac. 113 00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,738 If he keeps firing extras, 114 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,965 we're not gonna have enough bodies to fill the background. 115 00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:03,909 -I'm a body. -What? 116 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,136 And a mind too. A powerful one. 117 00:04:06,138 --> 00:04:07,304 But I'd be a great extra 118 00:04:07,306 --> 00:04:08,896 because I-- you could put me anywhere. 119 00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,415 I only have good angles. Look. 120 00:04:14,496 --> 00:04:15,996 Okay, fine. 121 00:04:15,998 --> 00:04:17,905 (laughing) What? 122 00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:19,741 Oh my God! 123 00:04:19,743 --> 00:04:20,984 I'm gonna be famous. 124 00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,419 (laughs, coughs) 125 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,822 Thank you so much for this opportunity. 126 00:04:25,824 --> 00:04:28,325 Two words: youth outreach. 127 00:04:28,327 --> 00:04:30,844 I realize there must be hordes of young Flatchians 128 00:04:30,846 --> 00:04:32,162 that might need my help. 129 00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:34,014 My mind immediately went to Mickey. 130 00:04:34,016 --> 00:04:36,108 He seems like such a nice guy, 131 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:39,169 and even though Shrub and Kelly are always razzing him, 132 00:04:39,171 --> 00:04:40,687 he spends a lot of time with them. 133 00:04:40,689 --> 00:04:41,947 I bet he's jonesing 134 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,699 for a little companionship these days. 135 00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:48,845 Whoa, Mickey, nice threads! 136 00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:51,014 Oh, uh, thank you. 137 00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:52,349 It's for a war re-enactment. 138 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:55,627 We're--it's the 210th anniversary of the Flatch Five. 139 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,463 But Len's brother won Sade tickets on the radio, 140 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,023 so he had to bail. 141 00:05:00,025 --> 00:05:01,207 So we might have to cancel. 142 00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:02,950 Can't do the Flatch Five with just four. 143 00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:03,969 It's called the Flatch Five for a reason. 144 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,696 -I'm in. -Oh. No, I didn't-- 145 00:05:06,698 --> 00:05:07,973 If you'll have me. 146 00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:12,385 Okay, uh, how about you meet us in Auburndale field 147 00:05:12,387 --> 00:05:13,386 in about an hour? 148 00:05:13,388 --> 00:05:15,555 Costume provided; snacks will not be, 149 00:05:15,557 --> 00:05:18,442 so eat before or bring your own period-appropriate rations. 150 00:05:19,545 --> 00:05:21,302 (sighs) 151 00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:23,971 And so I said, "That's your byline? 152 00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:25,398 More like bye line." 153 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,399 (laughter) 154 00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,235 I had to do it. I gave it back to him. 155 00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:32,831 Well, well, well, if it isn't the old so-and-sos 156 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,741 from the Dayton Sentinel. 157 00:05:34,743 --> 00:05:36,743 Everyone, guard your sources. 158 00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:37,911 Jimmy Jameson, you wily bastard. 159 00:05:37,913 --> 00:05:38,986 We didn't think we'd see your face here 160 00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:40,005 after you swept last year. 161 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,398 Hmm, well, what can I say? 162 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,991 I'm addicted to writing brilliantly. 163 00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:45,752 And also diet pop. 164 00:05:45,754 --> 00:05:47,404 (laughter) 165 00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:52,909 Oh, and this very special person is Cheryl. 166 00:05:52,911 --> 00:05:54,019 -Nice to meet you. -Hello. 167 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,095 You're Cheryl Peterson? 168 00:05:55,097 --> 00:05:57,764 Everyone here is talking about you. 169 00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:58,932 Your piece is amazing. 170 00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:00,525 -Mm-hmm. -CHERYL: Thank you. 171 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,861 Wait, aren't you two up for the same category? 172 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,754 -That's right. -Well... 173 00:06:04,756 --> 00:06:07,181 Uh-oh, Jimmy! (laughs) 174 00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:08,775 You're in trouble this year. 175 00:06:08,777 --> 00:06:10,927 (laughter) 176 00:06:10,929 --> 00:06:12,929 Someone's going down. 177 00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,598 -We'll see you in there. -Take him down. 178 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,690 Mm-hmm. 179 00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:18,460 Oh, come on. So exciting. 180 00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,216 Sorry, no cameras allowed. 181 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,797 I've been working on this car for seven hours straight. 182 00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:31,948 No bathroom breaks. 183 00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,091 Those are astronaut numbers. 184 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,135 But, you know, I'm not complaining. 185 00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:36,061 I legit cannot believe that Linda 186 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,396 is letting me do this at all. 187 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,881 (crunching) 188 00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:42,901 (birds chirping) 189 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,052 Greetings, fellow countrymen. 190 00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:48,073 Oh, hey, everyone, 191 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,983 let's give a warm welcome to Father Joe, 192 00:06:49,985 --> 00:06:51,893 AKA Horace Mattheson, 193 00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:55,229 fifth regiment corporal and noted hemophiliac. 194 00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:56,898 -(laughs) -I'm happy to be here. 195 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,418 I am quite honored to welcome you 196 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,545 to our gathering. 197 00:07:03,573 --> 00:07:05,757 Did I miss the battle? I drank two protein shakes 198 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,984 on my way over here, and I'm more than ready to run 199 00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:09,486 and do some hand-to-hand combat. 200 00:07:09,488 --> 00:07:10,762 Fight? 201 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,748 Colonel Mayhill, who is this interloper? 202 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:15,767 I'll kill him with my bare hands. 203 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,269 Stand down, soldier. 204 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,420 There won't be any fighting today. 205 00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:21,422 See, the Flatch Five were the group of soldiers 206 00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:23,608 left behind to watch the regiment's bags. 207 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,851 Oh, really? 208 00:07:24,853 --> 00:07:27,094 So, like, no storming the enemy? 209 00:07:27,096 --> 00:07:29,189 -No mud crawling? -On the contrary. 210 00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:32,175 Today is about honoring the quiet moments. 211 00:07:32,177 --> 00:07:34,327 Come, give it a try. Watch the bags. 212 00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:40,459 You see, these were the actual bags used in 1810. 213 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,795 Oh, cool. 214 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,672 Sit. Reflect. 215 00:08:00,706 --> 00:08:03,064 Ope, nope. Stop. 216 00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,633 But you said to watch the bags. 217 00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,194 Just feel. 218 00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:12,899 ANNOUNCER: And the winner 219 00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,493 for Best Microregional Weekly Feature 220 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,161 goes to Cheryl Peterson. 221 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,329 -(cheers and applause) -CHERYL: Ah! 222 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,982 I won! I won! Can you believe it? 223 00:08:20,984 --> 00:08:23,651 Oh my--I forgot to kiss Jimmy. 224 00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:25,152 Oh, whatever. He won't care. 225 00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,821 Where is he? Have you seen him? 226 00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,064 I--I need a drink. 227 00:08:28,066 --> 00:08:30,066 Me, too, because I won! 228 00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,593 JIMMY: Yep, I know. I know. 229 00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:34,495 CHERYL: Yes! 230 00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:37,498 Please, sir, I know my credit is dreadful. 231 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,259 But can't you put me in one of your many 232 00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:42,336 reasonably priced automobiles? 233 00:08:42,338 --> 00:08:45,506 My kids and I may need to live in it someday. 234 00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:48,935 I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's nothing I can do. 235 00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:50,587 Our amazing deals only apply 236 00:08:50,589 --> 00:08:53,273 to our financially responsible customers. 237 00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:55,016 -DOUG: Cut. -(Nadine sighs) 238 00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:56,517 It's a big year for me. 239 00:08:56,519 --> 00:09:00,354 Doug finally gave me a real role I can sink my teeth into. 240 00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:03,116 Yeah, usually, he just casts me as "girl who points to car." 241 00:09:03,118 --> 00:09:06,711 So yep, that's me doing it. 242 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,939 Oh, icons. (laughs) 243 00:09:09,941 --> 00:09:11,441 Oh, well, yeah. 244 00:09:11,443 --> 00:09:13,200 I really don't mean to backseat direct, 245 00:09:13,202 --> 00:09:16,221 but is it possible for the extras to stop overacting? 246 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,390 I'm just--I'm really inspired by your vision 247 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,891 and I don't want anything to distract from it. 248 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,893 Yeah, guys, stop overacting. 249 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,287 Yeah, fine, fine. That's--that's fine. 250 00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:25,730 We'll just take it from Dylan's line. 251 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,049 Yeah. 252 00:09:28,051 --> 00:09:31,903 And...action. 253 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,055 Miss, what's your credit score? 254 00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,966 -(Nadine sobs) -That bad, huh? 255 00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:40,394 Please, sir. I know my credit is dreadful, 256 00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,822 but couldn't you please put me in one of your many 257 00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:44,732 reasonably--Kelly! Are you kidding? 258 00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:45,917 TIM: Cut. 259 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,569 Oh my God, is that Kelly Mallet? 260 00:09:48,571 --> 00:09:51,481 -Get over here. -Sorry, Doug, sir. 261 00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:53,908 Kelly Mallet. You know, your old man 262 00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:58,412 once tried to buy a car off of me using counterfeit euros. 263 00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:01,099 Uh, those euros were actually proven to be legitimate. 264 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,676 But they did only equal 80 bucks. 265 00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:05,511 Wait a second. 266 00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:08,589 Oh, yeah, this is a good idea. This is a good idea. 267 00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:10,758 Okay, Nadine, sweetie, you're out. 268 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,335 Kelly Mallet, you are in. 269 00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:15,705 You are my new customer number one. 270 00:10:15,707 --> 00:10:16,764 What? 271 00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:18,358 Thank you so much, Mr. Parney. 272 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,509 I will not let you down. 273 00:10:19,602 --> 00:10:21,953 -I'm f--I'm fired? -Oh, Nadine, calm down. 274 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,880 Come on. You can have Kelly's part. 275 00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:25,031 And if the gown still fits, 276 00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:26,440 you can, you know, point at all the cars. 277 00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:28,960 Okay, here we go. Let's go. All right, come on. 278 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,945 Don't ever. 279 00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,038 DOUG: Give me that Mallet energy. 280 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,423 TIM: Thank you. 281 00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:38,970 Day two. We are looking to each other 282 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,866 not only as brethren, but perhaps as sustenance. 283 00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:46,293 Bored? No, no, not at all. 284 00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:47,979 It's just that I was hoping to bond with Mickey 285 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,463 through play, you know. 286 00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:51,891 Get in the mud, do a little roughhousing. 287 00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:53,318 But I'm having a little trouble 288 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,487 figuring out the Flatch Five vibe. 289 00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:03,328 Horace, where are you going? 290 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,812 I was just gonna gather some wood 291 00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:06,723 for the Flatch Five fire. 292 00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:08,057 Why aren't you limping? 293 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,226 Everyone knows that Horace Mattheson sustained 294 00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:12,027 an injury to his right leg. 295 00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:14,580 And because he had hemophilia, 296 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,399 he was never able to heal. 297 00:11:16,401 --> 00:11:19,585 And Mattheson was missing his right eye 298 00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:21,254 from a musket mishap. 299 00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:23,998 And wood gathering was Private Emerson's job. 300 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,266 And that's me. 301 00:11:27,429 --> 00:11:28,395 I'll help. 302 00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:34,192 What are you doing? Are--are we racing? 303 00:11:36,438 --> 00:11:38,029 Yes! Winner! 304 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,089 -(Len grunting) -(phone chirping) 305 00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:42,775 Oh, Shrub just detailed this car. 306 00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:47,021 Look at it. It looks great. He must be so psyched. 307 00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:49,356 MICKEY: Horace. Horace. 308 00:11:49,358 --> 00:11:51,859 This is a no phone zone, buddy. 309 00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,420 Not gonna warn you again. 310 00:11:57,459 --> 00:12:00,719 -Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. -Eeny, meeny, minnie, moe. 311 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:02,462 Eeny, meeny, miney, moe. 312 00:12:02,464 --> 00:12:03,888 All right, folks. 313 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,872 Let's make room for the vehicle. 314 00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:06,891 Clear the road. 315 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,893 Vehicle coming through. Let's go. 316 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,520 (buzzing) 317 00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,981 Winner in the house. (laughs) 318 00:12:21,983 --> 00:12:23,466 -Oh. -Boom. 319 00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:25,818 Looks like you are not the only game in Ohio 320 00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:28,137 regional micro-subscription papers anymore, Jimbo. 321 00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:31,232 Ah, you know, I--I have a headache. 322 00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:34,310 Uh, I--I should go find some aspirin. 323 00:12:34,312 --> 00:12:35,736 -I'll be right back. -Okay. 324 00:12:35,738 --> 00:12:36,713 I'll see you in a sec, hon. 325 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,260 Hey. 326 00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:46,598 We couldn't convince you to come work with us, could we? 327 00:12:47,325 --> 00:12:48,341 Seriously? 328 00:12:48,343 --> 00:12:50,268 We will set you up real nice in Dayton. 329 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:54,088 Yeah, there's even a Chipotle in our complex. 330 00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:56,332 Why don't we start by buying the lady a drink? 331 00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,592 -Huh? -Oh, I should wait for-- 332 00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:00,427 Um...oh, screw it. 333 00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:02,489 Tonight, I am drinking like print media. 334 00:13:03,525 --> 00:13:05,599 Like it's going out of style! (laughs) 335 00:13:05,601 --> 00:13:07,193 -Hey! -Oh! 336 00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:08,602 -Shots, please! -You got it. 337 00:13:08,604 --> 00:13:11,531 Can't you put me in one of your reasonably priced cars? 338 00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:14,108 Okay? My kids and I could live in it someday. 339 00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,702 I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's nothing I can do. 340 00:13:16,704 --> 00:13:17,962 Our amazing deals only apply 341 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,706 to our financially responsible customers. 342 00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:22,525 TIM: Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. 343 00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:24,360 -Hey, hey, hey, once again... -Oh, my God. 344 00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:26,120 I need you to just stay out of the shot. 345 00:13:26,122 --> 00:13:29,048 -I'm not in your shot, dude. -Okay. 346 00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:31,701 While we're stopped, can somebody please tell me 347 00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:33,294 whose butt I have to kiss 348 00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:37,723 to get my son to behave like a believable car salesman? 349 00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:39,984 I am an actual car salesman, Dad. 350 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,545 Please. Please. I was--I was--stop. Stop. 351 00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:43,229 -Kelly. -Yeah? 352 00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:45,139 I need you to play this sadder. 353 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,233 Okay. I think Belinda-- 354 00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:49,994 that's my character's name-- she's, like, less sad. 355 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,071 I see her more as resilient. 356 00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:53,998 Okay, I like that instinct, but I'm talking sad. 357 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,742 -Okay. -Okay? Like, sad. 358 00:13:56,744 --> 00:13:58,244 Down on your luck. Down. 359 00:13:58,246 --> 00:14:00,338 -Down. -Okay, you got that? 360 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,249 You work with what you got. All right? 361 00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:06,135 -Got it, boss. -Okay, good. Here we go. 362 00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:14,594 Hey, how about some ghost stories? 363 00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,095 I'm great at this, I swear. 364 00:14:16,097 --> 00:14:19,098 (in Southern accent) I remember when my grandpappy 365 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,918 took me down here to this very field. 366 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,404 -Back then-- -What's with your voice? 367 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,364 And why are you limping on the wrong leg? 368 00:14:27,425 --> 00:14:30,451 Hey, Father Joe, can you come here? 369 00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:36,357 Um... 370 00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:39,193 it pains me to say this, but I think the Flatch Five 371 00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:42,171 needs to be the Flatch Four today. 372 00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:44,990 We're just kind of a low-octane crew, 373 00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:45,958 and it seems like you're looking 374 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,219 for a little more action. 375 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,038 Uh, also, Len says you ate some of his walnuts. 376 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,965 (in normal voice) Wait. Are you kicking me out? 377 00:14:52,967 --> 00:14:54,592 Is this part of it? It is. 378 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,186 Are you talking to me or Horace right now? 379 00:14:57,972 --> 00:14:59,355 The regiment has spoken. 380 00:14:59,974 --> 00:15:02,108 (sighs) Fine. 381 00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,068 I'm gonna take my goodwill 382 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,154 and my sense of adventure elsewhere. 383 00:15:08,891 --> 00:15:10,617 MICKEY: I'll take the hat. 384 00:15:13,821 --> 00:15:15,496 Thank you. 385 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:19,918 Jimmy and his little baby headache 386 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,144 never made it back to the bar. 387 00:15:21,146 --> 00:15:23,162 But those Dayton people are so cool. 388 00:15:23,164 --> 00:15:25,089 You know, they offered me a job? 389 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,316 Ah, can you believe? 390 00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:30,744 They also offered me nachos, which I love more than jobs. 391 00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:32,931 And I love--I love you guys. 392 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,581 I love you guys. 393 00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:38,085 You're always filming, you little cutie. 394 00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,846 Ope, nope. You can't come in here. 395 00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:42,774 -(laughs) -(door beeps) 396 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,443 All right. Love you. Good night. 397 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,112 Oh, you're up... 398 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,097 and playing video games. 399 00:15:50,099 --> 00:15:52,024 Well, you cheated in the license plate game. 400 00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:53,859 JIMMY: (laughs) I did not cheat. 401 00:15:53,861 --> 00:15:56,120 I saw Hawaii. 402 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,014 Why is that so hard to believe? 403 00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,182 CHERYL: And then you fake a headache 404 00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:00,792 instead of celebrating me. 405 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,127 Oh my God, you're just a sore loser. 406 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,705 JIMMY: I'm not a loser. I'm a winner! 407 00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:08,174 Wrong! I'm the winner! 408 00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,474 (in British accent) Ah, pish-posh. 409 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:21,628 Dry your tears and tell me, the Credit Lord, what ails you. 410 00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:26,225 Your Royal Highness, please take pity on a wretch like me 411 00:16:26,227 --> 00:16:30,563 and set me up with a reasonable auto loan. 412 00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:31,823 (normal voice) Okay, that's just wrong. 413 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,733 That's wrong. Okay, Kelly. 414 00:16:33,735 --> 00:16:34,900 Mm. 415 00:16:34,902 --> 00:16:38,054 I want you to think pennilessness. 416 00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:40,147 Coupon clipping. 417 00:16:40,149 --> 00:16:43,409 Free cafeteria lunches. 418 00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:44,818 Mallet sad. 419 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,395 Okay? Let's go. Here we go. 420 00:16:46,397 --> 00:16:47,654 DYLAN: You're doing great, Kelly. 421 00:16:47,656 --> 00:16:50,991 Okay, Doug's entrance. And action. 422 00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:53,344 (laughs) (in British accent) Pish-posh. 423 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:58,165 Dry your tears and tell me, the Credit Lord, what ails you. 424 00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,926 Ah, Your Royal Highness! 425 00:17:00,928 --> 00:17:05,264 Please take pity on a wretch like me 426 00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:08,584 and set me up with a reasonable auto loan! 427 00:17:08,586 --> 00:17:09,919 (laughs) 428 00:17:09,921 --> 00:17:11,529 Well, you're in luck, my child. 429 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:16,108 Because now during Parney Auto Mall's No Credit, Bad Credit 430 00:17:16,110 --> 00:17:19,428 Sale event, I'm looking to help all the lowly, 431 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:22,265 wanton citizens of Flatch get into cars, 432 00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:28,629 even those as low, low, lowly as yourself. 433 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:33,051 (laughs) 434 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,628 You've fallen right into my trap. 435 00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:40,783 Yes, I may have bad credit, but I also have millions! 436 00:17:40,785 --> 00:17:42,060 -That's right. -What? 437 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,120 KELLY: I'm a diamond heiress. 438 00:17:44,122 --> 00:17:47,456 And I've come to expose the evil corporation, 439 00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:52,461 Parney Auto Mall. and it's elitist [bleep] owner. 440 00:17:52,463 --> 00:17:54,964 Cut! Dylan, dude, you're in the way of the decal! 441 00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:56,982 [bleep]. I'm going to law school. 442 00:17:56,984 --> 00:17:59,969 What is the matter with you? What is your name? 443 00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:01,562 You're a Mallet. 444 00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:05,065 You're the human embodiment of No Credit, Bad Credit. 445 00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:07,993 How dare you talk to a millionaire like that? 446 00:18:07,995 --> 00:18:09,812 Don't you know who her father is? 447 00:18:09,814 --> 00:18:13,240 I got it, Dylan. Hey, dude. Guess what. 448 00:18:13,242 --> 00:18:15,985 I may be a little cash-ily challenged right now, 449 00:18:15,987 --> 00:18:17,929 but at least I'll never be a sad, 450 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,840 mean old man like you. 451 00:18:20,842 --> 00:18:23,326 Okay? I'm a [bleep] winner, kay? 452 00:18:23,328 --> 00:18:25,995 And I'm not gonna take any of this disrespect anymore. 453 00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:27,847 -DOUG: Uh-oh. -I quit. 454 00:18:27,849 --> 00:18:28,940 Yeah, you quit? You're fired. 455 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,591 Well, joke's on you, 456 00:18:30,593 --> 00:18:32,926 because I never technically worked here. 457 00:18:32,928 --> 00:18:34,337 Oh, joke's on you. 458 00:18:34,339 --> 00:18:36,114 Now I don't have to pay you severance. 459 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,340 -Boom! -SHRUB: Hey! Hey! 460 00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:40,526 Get your hands off of that car! 461 00:18:40,528 --> 00:18:42,120 What is wrong with you? 462 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,621 Look at that car. Whose car is that? 463 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:47,199 That's my car. All of these cars are my cars. 464 00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:50,294 And guess what I get to do. Huh? 465 00:18:51,022 --> 00:18:52,446 -I get to do that! -SHRUB: No! 466 00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,132 Yeah, baby. 467 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,691 Get this freak off my lawn. 468 00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:58,636 You know, I thought this was a place that respected cars. 469 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,530 A place that respected art. But I was wrong. 470 00:19:01,532 --> 00:19:03,790 When it comes to business, all this man cares about 471 00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:07,370 is money and getting clients and selling cars; that's it. 472 00:19:07,372 --> 00:19:09,129 That's called running a business. 473 00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:11,649 Yeah, well, this is called, "You make me sick." 474 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,817 I quit. 475 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,226 Me, too. 476 00:19:14,228 --> 00:19:17,155 Stay strong, Dylan. Mallets out! 477 00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:24,069 Oh, uh, yeah, well, things got a little heated last night. 478 00:19:24,071 --> 00:19:26,330 But I think we got to a good place. 479 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,391 We're gonna take some time apart. 480 00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:30,668 There's lots that I liked about the relationship. 481 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,985 You know, the riddles, 482 00:19:31,987 --> 00:19:33,504 the race to do the crossword, 483 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,655 bubble baths. 484 00:19:34,657 --> 00:19:36,490 But we're both really competitive, 485 00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:39,159 and I think that's just too explosive for me. 486 00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:41,921 So we can still be friends. 487 00:19:41,923 --> 00:19:44,182 Can never have too many friends. 488 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,576 Or free hotel lotions. (laughs) 489 00:19:47,578 --> 00:19:50,262 I'm gonna take some time apart from tequila too. 490 00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,932 Ultimately, yeah, I'm glad we're out of the rat race. 491 00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:55,526 Same. I mean, who wants to be a rat? 492 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,269 Other than Ratatouille, obviously. 493 00:19:57,271 --> 00:19:58,938 I mean, that guy freakin' loved being a rat. 494 00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:00,589 KELLY: Yeah, and now I'm finally freed up 495 00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,758 to find a job that, like, pays me to be me. 496 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,760 I think, for sure, it's gonna be acting. 497 00:20:04,762 --> 00:20:06,779 SHRUB: Yeah, and honestly, I would rather be broke 498 00:20:06,781 --> 00:20:09,281 than ever compromise myself for my art again. 499 00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:12,025 I mean, newsflash, my integrity is not for sale. 500 00:20:12,027 --> 00:20:14,361 -FATHER JOE: Hey, guys. -Hey. 501 00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,863 What are you doing here? Day off from the car lot? 502 00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:19,124 Yup. Today, tomorrow... 503 00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,943 Forever and ever and ever. 504 00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,278 What the heck happened? 505 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,888 There may have been, you know, 506 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,372 a little bit of a scene, 507 00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,283 and we were maybe escorted off property. 508 00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:28,542 Seriously? 509 00:20:28,544 --> 00:20:30,803 How could the two of you manage to behave so poorly, 510 00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:32,212 they'd ask you to leave? 511 00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:33,731 You gotta learn to be more low-octane. 512 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,625 Maybe we will if they stop treating us like chumps. 513 00:20:36,627 --> 00:20:37,793 -SHRUB: Yeah. -Yeah. 514 00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:38,961 Okay, come to the office tomorrow, 515 00:20:38,963 --> 00:20:40,404 and we can talk about it. 516 00:20:43,134 --> 00:20:44,533 KELLY: Why are you limping? 517 00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:52,083 ...who bite deeply into the necks of their victims. 518 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:55,586 Dude, don't hog the cashews. 519 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,829 Give me some. 520 00:20:56,831 --> 00:20:59,423 -One. -Oh, my God, dude, it's on. 521 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,666 It's on. 522 00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:01,926 And tell me, 523 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,095 the Credit Lord, what ails you. 524 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:08,507 Oh, take pity on a lowly wretch like me... 525 00:21:08,509 --> 00:21:09,767 You did it way better. 526 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,660 And set me up with a reasonable auto loan. 527 00:21:11,662 --> 00:21:13,162 Well, you're in luck, 528 00:21:13,164 --> 00:21:16,015 because now, during Parney Auto Mall's... 529 00:21:16,017 --> 00:21:17,349 KELLY: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 530 00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:18,276 Wait! 531 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,927 Shrub, that's you. That's you. 532 00:21:20,929 --> 00:21:23,172 Oh my God. That's me. 533 00:21:23,174 --> 00:21:26,117 KELLY: That's you on TV! That's you on TV! 534 00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:29,412 Oh my God. 535 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,417 Look at that baby shine.