1
00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:05,320
("Jingle Bells" playing)
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00:00:05,322 --> 00:00:08,674
¶
3
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,992
(car door clicks shut)
4
00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:13,495
(engine starts)
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00:00:13,497 --> 00:00:15,239
So, yeah, I mean,
6
00:00:15,241 --> 00:00:17,574
only Father Joe knows but uh,
7
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I'm going off to art school
in Cleveland next month.
8
00:00:19,912 --> 00:00:21,353
Bye, antique store.
9
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,097
I'm just uh, doing
my goodbye tour of Flatch,
10
00:00:24,099 --> 00:00:26,191
just soaking it in
while I can.
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00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,802
KELLY: Shrub, there you are.
(heavy breathing)
12
00:00:28,804 --> 00:00:30,362
I'm playing Santa Claus
this year.
13
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,698
So every Christmas Eve,
my dad throws a party
14
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at the Christmas Tree Farm.
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It's mostly to get people
to buy last minute trees,
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00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:38,929
which is genius.
The whole town comes.
17
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:41,765
Normally, my dad plays Santa
and me and Shrub are elves.
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00:00:41,767 --> 00:00:43,525
But this year he said,
he's too busy with Jessie
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00:00:43,527 --> 00:00:46,879
and the new baby,
so he promoted me to Santa.
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And I accepted.
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Kelly, that's a big job.
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00:00:51,126 --> 00:00:53,201
I mean, I'm so good
at multi-tasking, I can do it.
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00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:55,295
Dude, you can't even put on
a jacket while watching TV.
24
00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:57,556
I mean, yes, you'll still
have to play an elf this year.
25
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:01,876
So I will technically be your
boss, but it's temporary, okay?
26
00:01:01,878 --> 00:01:04,304
Shrub, it's happening,
our dream!
27
00:01:04,306 --> 00:01:06,565
Like, we're gonna be
running that place someday.
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-Yeah.
-(laughs) Yes!
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KELLY: I'm so excited.
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00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,742
Shrub, these financial aid
forms are due in a week,
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and you haven't filled out
any of them.
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Have you looked at the menu
33
00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:22,656
that they posted
on the school cafeteria page?
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No, why would I?
35
00:01:23,826 --> 00:01:26,568
Like what the hell is pest-o?
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That's what
you're worried about?
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No, I mean,
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I also have questions
about the boneless chicken too.
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I mean, like,
what's wrong with bones?
40
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They hold us up.
41
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:35,243
Uh, pesto is a sauce
42
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:37,078
made of pine nuts,
basil, and olive oil.
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00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,840
Shrub, going off to college
is a big deal.
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00:01:39,842 --> 00:01:41,325
I wouldn't blame you
if you were nervous.
45
00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:44,828
Yeah, I'm not nervous.
I just don't like weird sauces.
46
00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,681
-Have you told Kelly yet?
-No, I mean, not yet.
47
00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:49,166
I mean, she needs to get
through the Christmas Eve party
48
00:01:49,168 --> 00:01:51,168
without destroying
the entire Santa brand.
49
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:52,778
You should probably
tell her soon.
50
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,113
It's not gonna
be easy for her.
51
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,839
Oh, please, dude.
Kelly can withstand anything.
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00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:57,098
She's like a cockroach,
53
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,359
in, you know,
a very positive, resilient way.
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00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:00,786
I mean, like,
when her dad left, like,
55
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,696
she only stayed in the basement
for, like, four days,
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00:02:02,698 --> 00:02:05,332
dyed her hair green,
and ate two blocks of cheese.
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00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:08,869
Yeah, I should probably
tell her soon.
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00:02:08,871 --> 00:02:10,295
JOE: Yeah.
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00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,965
Oh, my God, Lloyd.
The first time I had pesto
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00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,116
in Florence was
a transcendental experience.
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00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:18,953
Oh, dude,
I am a pine nut nut.
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00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:20,806
My new college roommate,
Chris Jordan, and I
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00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:24,534
met last week on FaceTime
and we are totally simpatico,
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00:02:24,536 --> 00:02:27,462
which I don't know
exactly what it means,
65
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:29,815
but it sounds pretty awesome.
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00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:33,152
Um, and oh,
I'm going by my real name,
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Lloyd, when I get to school.
Yeah.
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00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,324
Lloyd loves pesto
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00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,808
and scarves.
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00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:43,053
It is my first Christmas
in Flatch,
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00:02:43,055 --> 00:02:45,389
so I am ready.
(laughs)
72
00:02:45,391 --> 00:02:48,225
I started a secret
Santa gift exchange
73
00:02:48,227 --> 00:02:50,836
and got seven good people
of Flatch to join me.
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00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,580
We exchange on Christmas Eve,
$25 limit.
75
00:02:53,582 --> 00:02:56,066
And guess who I got?
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00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:58,844
Irony alert.
Joe.
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00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,421
(laughs)
I already got him a gift.
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00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:02,739
It's a bonsai!
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00:03:02,741 --> 00:03:05,184
It's important
to put thought into your gifts.
80
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,186
If I get one more
smelly candle,
81
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:10,355
I swear to gosh,
it is such a cop out.
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00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,265
Nadine!
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00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:14,918
I am so excited
that you signed up
84
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,420
for the secret Santa
gift exchange.
85
00:03:16,422 --> 00:03:20,032
You know what's a great gift?
Not candles, but Bundt pans.
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00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,492
Good try, but I'm not
revealing who I picked.
87
00:03:25,764 --> 00:03:27,447
-Are we in a staring contest?
-Nope.
88
00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:30,100
Dylan and the baby and I
are doing a live nativity scene
89
00:03:30,102 --> 00:03:31,268
for the Christmas party.
90
00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:33,212
Can you believe?
I'm so excited.
91
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:35,605
I'm practicing
staying totally still.
92
00:03:35,607 --> 00:03:38,217
Nadine forced me to tell her
who I got for secret Santa,
93
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:41,220
and it turns out, I got her.
She's making me
94
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:44,130
do this live nativity
as her secret Santa gift.
95
00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:47,226
Three hours, no moving,
no bathroom breaks.
96
00:03:48,303 --> 00:03:51,638
It seems like it's worth
more than $25.
97
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,047
So it's 6:00 p.m. sharp,
98
00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:55,049
he flips the fake switch,
99
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:57,794
you plug this in there, copy?
100
00:03:57,796 --> 00:03:59,404
Copy.
Got it.
101
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,647
All right.
102
00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,966
Hey, so, Dad, you know,
I was sort of thinking
103
00:04:02,968 --> 00:04:04,559
this is probably
the first step in,
104
00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:05,893
you know, my helping you out
here full time.
105
00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:06,912
Oh, yeah?
106
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:07,895
You think you're ready
for that?
107
00:04:07,897 --> 00:04:09,063
Oh, hell yeah.
108
00:04:09,065 --> 00:04:10,323
I could run this place
for you some day.
109
00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:11,808
You really wanna do
a good job?
110
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:13,827
-Mm-hmm.
-Sell this crappy tree.
111
00:04:13,829 --> 00:04:14,828
I've been growing it
for four years.
112
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No one ever buys it.
113
00:04:15,998 --> 00:04:17,647
I figure we dress it up,
someone will bite.
114
00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:20,333
A big part of playing
Santa is upselling.
115
00:04:20,335 --> 00:04:21,985
Upsell.
116
00:04:21,987 --> 00:04:23,578
Are you ready?
117
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,430
Ah, hey.
Yeah.
118
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,932
Go, I got this.
119
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It's a baby.
How's my baby, huh?
120
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:30,827
-Let's go.
-How's my baby, Ashlynn?
121
00:04:30,829 --> 00:04:31,919
JESSIE: You wanna go see Santa?
122
00:04:31,921 --> 00:04:33,921
BOBBY: Ho ho ho.
123
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:37,334
Okay, so when breaking
bad news to Kelly,
124
00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:39,927
it's always best
to bring donuts, okay?
125
00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:42,689
It's very specific sugar math.
Okay?
126
00:04:42,691 --> 00:04:45,342
Like, uh, for example,
two donuts for this time
127
00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:47,694
I had to tell her that
I lost her Def Leppard hat.
128
00:04:47,696 --> 00:04:50,122
Four crullers for when I found
that same hat at Goodwill
129
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,866
and she had to buy it back,
so me going off to college
130
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:54,459
is for sure
a dozen jelly filled.
131
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:55,627
Hey!
Hey!
132
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,870
Hey.
133
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Getting our yule tides on.
You ready?
134
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Yeah, that's right.
135
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,800
I have really good news.
Since I'm now the boss,
136
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,361
big guy,
I'm promoting you to head elf.
137
00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:06,638
We, uh, never really had
a head elf before.
138
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,698
I know, but I'm the boss now
so I get to make [bleep] up.
139
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,225
Check it out.
140
00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:15,296
Here.
Don't lose that, okay?
141
00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,148
It was mine.
142
00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:17,983
I put my name in it
and everything.
143
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,061
I once had to buy my own hat
back from Goodwill,
144
00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:23,563
so yeah,
name goes in everything now.
145
00:05:23,565 --> 00:05:25,615
Put it on.
Tick tock, dude.
146
00:05:28,554 --> 00:05:31,163
Okay.
Look at you!
147
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,497
-Hey--
-Donuts?
148
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,167
-Hmm.
-Thank you so much.
149
00:05:39,656 --> 00:05:42,232
("Deck the Halls" playing)
150
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:43,508
¶ Fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la ¶
151
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,993
¶ 'Tis the season
to be jolly ¶
152
00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:48,738
¶ Fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la ¶
153
00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:51,408
Glen, this is for you.
I'm your secret Santa.
154
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:53,334
But I need to be in the
nativity in like ten minutes,
155
00:05:53,336 --> 00:05:55,762
so yeah, Merry Christmas.
156
00:05:55,764 --> 00:05:57,230
It's supposed to calm you down.
157
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,767
Glen!
Oh, my God!
158
00:06:00,769 --> 00:06:02,102
That's an essential oil.
159
00:06:02,104 --> 00:06:03,862
You're supposed to rub it
on your temples.
160
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,680
It tastes like crap.
161
00:06:05,682 --> 00:06:07,348
Oh--
162
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:09,275
Hey, my bro.
163
00:06:09,277 --> 00:06:11,870
Oh, no one's putting this elf
on a shelf, huh?
164
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,355
Huh?
(laughs)
165
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,933
-H-hey, Beth.
-Hi.
166
00:06:16,935 --> 00:06:17,951
Okay, we gotta go.
167
00:06:17,953 --> 00:06:19,044
So, like,
we're kinda in charge,
168
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,121
so we can't really
be hanging out.
169
00:06:21,123 --> 00:06:24,198
But also, you guys,
this very special tree,
170
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,625
gorgeous, right?
171
00:06:25,627 --> 00:06:27,777
She's on sale today only.
172
00:06:27,779 --> 00:06:30,705
And, like, a lot of people
want it, FYI, okay?
173
00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:32,206
Thank you.
174
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,634
Well, if I thought love
was gonna keep me in Flatch,
175
00:06:34,636 --> 00:06:36,803
that ship has fully sailed.
176
00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:38,230
But you know what?
177
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:41,307
Chris Jordan says that there
are tons of girls at school.
178
00:06:41,309 --> 00:06:45,962
And they're from all over,
like, Wisconsin.
179
00:06:45,964 --> 00:06:47,447
MICKEY: Cheese!
180
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:51,468
Oh, my God.
181
00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:52,894
(camera shutter clicks)
182
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:56,640
("Gloria in excelsis Deo")
183
00:06:56,642 --> 00:06:58,900
KELLY: Okay, elves, huddle up.
Huddle up.
184
00:06:58,902 --> 00:07:01,903
As you can see, there's
a new gorgeous Santa in town.
185
00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:03,663
That does not mean
you can slack off.
186
00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:04,923
We might have had fun
the last few years,
187
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,124
but it's not like that.
188
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,759
Okay, I'm gonna make
my dad proud
189
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,152
so you need to stay in line.
190
00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:11,096
Shrub is your new boss,
and he'll report to me.
191
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,580
What?
That's some [bleep].
192
00:07:12,582 --> 00:07:14,433
I have total elf seniority
over him.
193
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:17,827
So I used to help chop down the
trees at the party for people.
194
00:07:17,829 --> 00:07:19,179
I've got the upper
body strength,
195
00:07:19,181 --> 00:07:21,331
and I know my way
around an axe.
196
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:24,167
But a big strong lady
carrying around an axe
197
00:07:24,169 --> 00:07:25,610
in the dark
doesn't always go well.
198
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,262
So I agreed to start dressing
like an elf
199
00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:30,264
so people could see me coming.
200
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:32,525
No good deed, man.
201
00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:33,693
No good deed.
202
00:07:33,695 --> 00:07:36,346
This is some straight up
North Pole nepotism.
203
00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:37,530
Big Mandy and Levi,
204
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,624
you're in charge of keeping
the line moving, okay?
205
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,792
No pitter patter.
206
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,869
Also, no eating
the candy canes.
207
00:07:42,871 --> 00:07:44,111
And bathroom breaks
208
00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:45,780
are staggered
every two hours, heard?
209
00:07:45,782 --> 00:07:46,948
What?
210
00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,133
I only do this
for the free candy.
211
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,968
Kell, this is kinda rough.
I really--
212
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,878
I'm sorry.
Are you management?
213
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,138
Yes.
You are, Shrub.
214
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,865
Keep your elves in line,
boss elf.
215
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:58,702
Also, everyone, sell the crap
outta that sad tree, okay?
216
00:07:58,704 --> 00:07:59,886
It's part of the job.
217
00:07:59,888 --> 00:08:01,554
But don't call it sad
to anyone else.
218
00:08:01,556 --> 00:08:02,981
Okay.
Ho ho ho.
219
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,649
Three, two, one.
Christmas elves.
220
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,967
All right.
221
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,894
I'm your secret Santa.
222
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:10,638
Glen!
Thank you so much.
223
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,065
(upbeat festive music)
224
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,551
-Is it cooking oil?
-Yup.
225
00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:16,736
¶
226
00:08:16,738 --> 00:08:18,813
CHILD: And a new scooter
227
00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:20,874
and a box of Legos
228
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,334
and a baby sister.
229
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,560
Hmm.
230
00:08:23,562 --> 00:08:24,728
And a lizard and--
231
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:27,397
Okay, we get it, buddy.
You like stuff, yup.
232
00:08:27,399 --> 00:08:30,008
You don't sound like Santa.
233
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,068
Hey, Kell.
Line's getting long there.
234
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,419
-On it.
-Come on.
235
00:08:33,421 --> 00:08:34,846
Hey, also get your parents
to buy that tree.
236
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,014
Okay, who's next?
Who's next?
237
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,407
-Hey, elves.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
238
00:08:37,409 --> 00:08:38,499
Where are Mandy and Levi?
239
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:39,592
I don't know, dude.
I don't know!
240
00:08:39,594 --> 00:08:41,594
You had one job, Shrub!
241
00:08:41,596 --> 00:08:42,746
CHILD: It's my turn!
242
00:08:42,748 --> 00:08:44,356
(children chattering)
243
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,690
What is this?
244
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,859
A list of our demands.
Me and Levi are unionizing.
245
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,269
Five minutes off an hour?
246
00:08:49,271 --> 00:08:50,937
Like, there's no--
that's not realistic.
247
00:08:50,939 --> 00:08:52,346
And free hot chocolate.
248
00:08:52,348 --> 00:08:54,533
With mini marshmallows.
That was my idea.
249
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:55,942
Boom.
250
00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:57,035
Okay, did you
know about this?
251
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,595
No.
252
00:08:58,613 --> 00:09:01,765
Okay, well, I'm not giving in
to your labor demands, okay?
253
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:02,707
You know what?
254
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,042
You're fired.
Both of you.
255
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,043
Thank God.
256
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:06,527
Let's go make
some Kwanzaa wreaths.
257
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:07,604
-Sounds good.
-You coming?
258
00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:09,196
No, he's not coming.
259
00:09:09,198 --> 00:09:10,882
Kell, they had
some fair points.
260
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,125
Okay, you're management.
261
00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,534
You don't side
with the workers, okay?
262
00:09:13,536 --> 00:09:15,536
-We're a team.
-No, we're not, dude!
263
00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:18,473
You're kinda bossy and mean,
and I'm going away to college.
264
00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:22,060
- What?
265
00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:29,717
(festive holiday music)
266
00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:31,961
¶
267
00:09:31,963 --> 00:09:34,130
Hey, there, boss elf.
268
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:36,966
Hey, I told Kelly
about school.
269
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:39,152
Good for you.
How'd she take it?
270
00:09:39,154 --> 00:09:41,487
Tell Shrub that I want
my fidget spinner back,
271
00:09:41,489 --> 00:09:44,565
the "Trolls World Tour" one,
not the janky blue one.
272
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,568
-Kelly, Shrub's right here.
-Tell him.
273
00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:48,995
Shrub, Kelly wants--
274
00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:50,255
Okay, fine, you tell her
that I want my gym bag
275
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,148
and my guinea pig back.
How about that?
276
00:09:52,150 --> 00:09:54,818
(gasps)
Flatch doesn't even have a gym,
277
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:57,153
and that guinea pig died
nine years ago of old age.
278
00:09:57,155 --> 00:09:58,263
Yeah, while
you were guinea sitting.
279
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,323
Well, she didn't take it
as well as I thought,
280
00:10:00,325 --> 00:10:04,661
so I'm just gonna give her
some space, I guess.
281
00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:06,438
-Hi, Shrub.
-Hey, Beth.
282
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,181
(warm music)
283
00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:10,925
Uh, where's your boyfriend,
Mickey?
284
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:11,943
He's getting us punch.
285
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:15,355
And he's not really
my boyfriend.
286
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:17,264
¶
287
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:18,599
Really?
288
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:22,770
Well, um, I'm glad you
found someone to hang with
289
00:10:22,772 --> 00:10:25,564
'cause I'm actually going off
290
00:10:25,566 --> 00:10:27,125
to college in Cleveland.
291
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,852
I'm happy for you
292
00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:32,380
but sad for me.
293
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,042
You are?
294
00:10:36,044 --> 00:10:38,528
Well, I guess I was hoping
295
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:40,955
we might, um,
296
00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:42,599
get back together.
297
00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:49,630
Mistletoe.
298
00:10:49,632 --> 00:10:50,815
Oh.
(laughs)
299
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,376
Hey!
Sorry it took so long.
300
00:10:53,378 --> 00:10:55,895
They were playing early
Britney in the wreath tent.
301
00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:57,730
And my head said, "Go."
302
00:10:57,732 --> 00:11:00,492
But my feet said,
"Oh, heck no."
303
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,328
Oh, mistletoe.
Mm.
304
00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:13,396
Wisconsin girls
might be cool,
305
00:11:13,398 --> 00:11:16,216
but I just kissed Beth.
306
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,493
And Mickey.
307
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:21,754
-Surprise!
-Oh!
308
00:11:21,756 --> 00:11:23,740
I'm your secret Santa.
309
00:11:23,742 --> 00:11:25,742
Well, this is exciting.
310
00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:28,761
Uh-huh.
311
00:11:28,763 --> 00:11:30,596
-Candle!
-Mm-hmm.
312
00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:33,858
Oh, that's so sweet, June.
313
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:37,529
- And this...
314
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,447
is oil.
315
00:11:41,517 --> 00:11:43,326
For plants.
316
00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:50,357
JOE: Hey there, buddy.
I'm your secret Santa.
317
00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:52,936
So here you go--straight
from Cottage Grove, Minnesota,
318
00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:54,879
a real local delicacy.
319
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,865
Fresh old walleye.
320
00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,050
Yeah.
321
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,626
You might want
to keep these refrigerated.
322
00:12:00,628 --> 00:12:02,795
Oh!
Oh, jeez.
323
00:12:02,797 --> 00:12:04,872
Oh.
Oh, boy.
324
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:07,016
These guys are smelly, huh?
325
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,728
Oh, boy.
326
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,730
Stop moving!
327
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,065
Look!
Father Joe's a wise man.
328
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,444
And he's offering
the baby fish?
329
00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:20,721
-Let's go get a wreath.
-Yeah.
330
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:22,632
Mm.
331
00:12:22,634 --> 00:12:24,484
I got you something.
332
00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:25,893
Oh.
333
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:28,304
(gasps)
Bundt pans.
334
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:29,806
Mandy, how'd you know?
335
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:31,332
Girl, the whole town knew.
336
00:12:34,496 --> 00:12:37,330
And I got you,
337
00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:40,241
um, this.
338
00:12:40,243 --> 00:12:42,652
Ooh.
339
00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:45,597
Ooh!
Thank you!
340
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,599
And that.
(laughs)
341
00:12:50,662 --> 00:12:52,011
Oh, hell no.
342
00:12:52,013 --> 00:12:55,014
Okay, I gave this to Nadine
343
00:12:55,016 --> 00:12:56,516
last year for her birthday
344
00:12:56,518 --> 00:12:58,943
after I got it from Leotha
for Valentine's.
345
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,779
Kudos to you
for trying to pawn it off,
346
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,363
but the nightmare ends here.
347
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:08,286
No more, Leotha.
No more.
348
00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:13,366
We're done.
349
00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:14,851
I do love the candle, though.
350
00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:16,277
Oh, I'm glad.
351
00:13:16,279 --> 00:13:18,855
So someone didn't mix
enough elf-ade.
352
00:13:18,857 --> 00:13:21,132
So guess who has to go get
some more lemonade mix?
353
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,192
And the kids actually booed me
when I left.
354
00:13:23,194 --> 00:13:24,618
And I was like,
"Oh, hell no.
355
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,863
You do not boo
a national treasure."
356
00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:28,122
Santa's beard's messed up.
357
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:30,558
You're messed up, dude.
God.
358
00:13:31,627 --> 00:13:34,220
NADINE: (strained breathing)
359
00:13:34,222 --> 00:13:35,555
Dylan.
360
00:13:35,557 --> 00:13:37,040
Dylan, I don't feel so--
361
00:13:37,042 --> 00:13:39,058
like, I don't feel--
362
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:40,543
(vomiting)
363
00:13:40,545 --> 00:13:42,895
KELLY: Hey, what?
364
00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,714
Get the camera
out of my face!
365
00:13:44,716 --> 00:13:45,898
Get it out!
366
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,216
Nadine, are you okay?
367
00:13:47,218 --> 00:13:49,994
Get your fish hands aw--
away from me.
368
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,238
Get--stop!
369
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,072
(moans)
370
00:13:53,074 --> 00:13:55,758
Kell!
What are you doing?
371
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,577
You've got one minute
till the tree lighting.
372
00:13:57,579 --> 00:13:59,379
On it.
Sorry, Pops.
373
00:14:01,657 --> 00:14:03,082
("Gloria in excelsis Deo")
374
00:14:03,084 --> 00:14:05,068
Binghoffer, your secret Santa
375
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:06,327
told me to give this to you.
376
00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:09,255
Who am I kidding?
I'm your secret Santa.
377
00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:11,424
No way!
378
00:14:11,426 --> 00:14:13,834
A bonsai?
379
00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:15,854
I love little things
I can obsess over.
380
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,523
Cheryl, this is--
381
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,583
it's the best gift ever.
382
00:14:20,585 --> 00:14:21,860
Thank you.
383
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,510
And I got something
for you too.
384
00:14:23,512 --> 00:14:24,937
Why?
You're not my secret Santa.
385
00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:27,440
I know, I know.
But just come here.
386
00:14:27,442 --> 00:14:29,284
Santa's coming through.
Sorry.
387
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,019
Um, you know I like
388
00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:34,706
to shop for gifts early.
389
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,690
So I, uh,
390
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:39,493
got this for you
for Christmas
391
00:14:39,495 --> 00:14:40,712
before we broke up.
392
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,214
Oh.
393
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,611
You bought me the sky.
394
00:14:48,613 --> 00:14:51,222
No, I got you a star.
395
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,557
Oh.
396
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,225
Yeah, it comes with official
paperwork and everything.
397
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:58,287
Oh, Joe.
That's so sweet.
398
00:14:58,289 --> 00:14:59,397
Yeah.
399
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,458
There it is,
400
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,626
the Cheryl star.
401
00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:05,612
Oh, I love it.
402
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,891
Anyway, I took
the Christmas tree star
403
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,893
when we split,
404
00:15:12,895 --> 00:15:15,821
but now you got a new one.
405
00:15:15,823 --> 00:15:17,807
What if I want the old one?
406
00:15:17,809 --> 00:15:19,500
That can be arranged.
407
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,653
You smell like my future.
408
00:15:30,655 --> 00:15:32,655
(sniffs)
And walleye.
409
00:15:32,657 --> 00:15:34,265
Yeah.
410
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,660
ALL: Three, two, one!
411
00:15:37,662 --> 00:15:40,104
Aw, boo!
412
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,922
(crowd booing)
413
00:15:41,924 --> 00:15:44,758
-Come on, come on.
-Turn on the tree!
414
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,519
What happened?
Come on!
415
00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:47,594
Oh.
Ah!
416
00:15:47,596 --> 00:15:50,597
(crowd shouting)
417
00:15:50,599 --> 00:15:54,035
(crowd cheering)
418
00:15:55,847 --> 00:15:58,181
-(crowd screaming)
-Fire!
419
00:15:58,183 --> 00:16:01,626
-Whoa!
-(cheers and applause)
420
00:16:03,538 --> 00:16:05,946
All right!
421
00:16:05,948 --> 00:16:07,948
Somebody call
the fire department!
422
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:09,592
Someone call
the fire department!
423
00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:16,140
-Yeah!
-Oh, man!
424
00:16:21,723 --> 00:16:23,706
You thought you could
run this place someday.
425
00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:27,059
You can't even plug in a string
of lights without screwing up.
426
00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:28,469
Okay, well, like,
in my defense,
427
00:16:28,471 --> 00:16:31,047
Mandy dumped a bunch
of oil back there
428
00:16:31,049 --> 00:16:32,306
and all my elves quit on me.
429
00:16:32,308 --> 00:16:34,993
You know, you don't
even look like Santa.
430
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,477
I knew this was a mistake.
431
00:16:36,479 --> 00:16:37,978
I mean, who's gonna
buy the tree?
432
00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:39,813
Look at it.
Look!
433
00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:42,225
I don't think it's so bad.
434
00:16:42,227 --> 00:16:45,294
It's, like, cute
in a non-cute way.
435
00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,506
And you know what?
436
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,916
Just because it's old
and not super pretty
437
00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:52,343
doesn't mean
you should just throw it out
438
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,162
for some new cute tree
like it doesn't even matter.
439
00:16:55,164 --> 00:16:59,017
Maybe it was perfect
just the way it was, Dad.
440
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,310
And you don't look
like Santa either.
441
00:17:04,082 --> 00:17:06,840
I might have puked
in the crèche,
442
00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:09,027
but it was
for a totally good reason.
443
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:12,363
And that reason
wasn't stinky fish.
444
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,092
I'm pregnant.
(laughing)
445
00:17:16,094 --> 00:17:17,702
I'm just like Mary.
446
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,779
It's a Christmas miracle.
447
00:17:19,781 --> 00:17:21,947
(laughing)
448
00:17:21,949 --> 00:17:23,541
Okay, well,
I'm not just like Mary
449
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,127
because we actually tried
pretty hard.
450
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,965
(sighs)
451
00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:44,637
Oh, no, no, hold it, Horace.
I'm just testing it out.
452
00:17:44,639 --> 00:17:47,231
Seriously?
Oh, God.
453
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,233
(phone ringing)
Sorry.
454
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,054
Go for Lloyd.
455
00:17:54,056 --> 00:17:55,631
Hey, Lloyd, question.
456
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:58,034
Um, which side of the room
do you want?
457
00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:01,728
Oh, um,
458
00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:05,249
Kelly usually just tells me
which side I get.
459
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,660
Who's Kelly?
Is that your girlfriend or--
460
00:18:07,662 --> 00:18:09,921
Oh, gross, no.
461
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,589
She's, uh, like, my cousin.
462
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,906
Oh.
463
00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:14,241
Oh, you sleep
with your cousin?
464
00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:16,819
Lloyd, that is some
serious hick town [bleep].
465
00:18:16,821 --> 00:18:18,763
Um, uh, no,
466
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,824
I don't sleep with her, perv.
467
00:18:21,826 --> 00:18:23,492
No, she's awesome.
468
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:26,662
Like, I mean, you'll see,
when she comes and visits.
469
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:29,140
Oh, okay, Lloyd.
That's a hard no.
470
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,292
I can't have visitors
in my space.
471
00:18:31,294 --> 00:18:34,094
Like, I need to maintain
my creative autonomy.
472
00:18:34,096 --> 00:18:36,005
Come on, Shrub.
You gonna ride or not?
473
00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:39,117
-Who's Shrub?
-Uh, me, dude, I'm Shrub.
474
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,118
And guess what?
475
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,269
You know,
my hick town is awesome.
476
00:18:42,271 --> 00:18:43,863
And my cousin rocks
477
00:18:43,865 --> 00:18:46,682
in a totally not sexy way.
478
00:18:46,684 --> 00:18:48,108
("Blue Christmas" playing)
479
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:52,463
¶ I'll have
a blue Christmas ¶
480
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,282
¶ Without you
481
00:18:55,284 --> 00:18:56,692
¶
482
00:18:56,694 --> 00:19:00,638
¶ And I'll be so blue
483
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:05,059
¶ Just thinking about you
484
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:11,524
¶ Decorations of red
485
00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:15,060
¶ On a green
486
00:19:15,062 --> 00:19:19,048
¶ Christmas tree
487
00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:20,716
¶ Won't be
488
00:19:20,718 --> 00:19:22,976
¶ The same, dear
489
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:25,329
¶ If you're not here with me
490
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,123
(sighs)
491
00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:31,485
Here is the fidget spinner.
492
00:19:31,487 --> 00:19:33,896
I'm pretty sure
it's not yours but whatever.
493
00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:36,090
It's mine.
494
00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,844
I stole this
from nan's fridge.
495
00:19:41,239 --> 00:19:44,073
I'm just gonna say it, okay.
Like, you can't go away.
496
00:19:44,075 --> 00:19:45,925
You hate sleeping in new beds.
497
00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:47,760
And your wheelie bag is broken.
498
00:19:47,762 --> 00:19:48,835
And it's not because
we've, like,
499
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,855
never been apart for Christmas
500
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,839
or that I couldn't run
this place by myself
501
00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:55,084
or that I can't just drink
this whole thing by myself,
502
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:57,695
'cause you know I could.
I could chug it, right here.
503
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,755
Well, I've been
thinking about it,
504
00:19:59,757 --> 00:20:01,515
and, I don't know,
505
00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:03,034
I might just...
506
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,095
stay in Flatch
a little bit longer.
507
00:20:06,097 --> 00:20:08,597
You know, take a gap year,
508
00:20:08,599 --> 00:20:09,615
which Chris Jordan says
509
00:20:09,617 --> 00:20:11,784
that people in England
do it all the time.
510
00:20:11,786 --> 00:20:13,694
Who's Chris Jordan?
511
00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:15,454
This guy.
512
00:20:15,456 --> 00:20:17,531
He was gonna be
my college roommate.
513
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:21,110
Um, hi, okay, weirdo,
Chris Jordan?
514
00:20:21,112 --> 00:20:22,278
Shrub, okay,
515
00:20:22,371 --> 00:20:23,888
you can't trust someone
who has two first names.
516
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,724
Yeah, thank you.
517
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,560
Uh, who pyroed the ugly tree?
518
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,955
Me, I guess.
519
00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:36,400
My dad reamed me out,
but I told him off a little.
520
00:20:40,298 --> 00:20:42,323
You know he's
a total [bleep], right?
521
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,202
Yeah.
Sometimes he is.
522
00:20:48,306 --> 00:20:52,157
Hey, come on.
Give me that spinner.
523
00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:54,159
I have an idea.
524
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:55,160
("Like It's Christmas"
playing)
525
00:20:55,162 --> 00:20:57,088
¶ You make every day feel
526
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,998
¶ Like it's Christmas
527
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,425
¶ Never wanna stop
528
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:05,912
¶ Feelin' like the first
thing on your wishlist ¶
529
00:21:05,914 --> 00:21:07,673
¶ Right up at the top
530
00:21:07,675 --> 00:21:10,509
¶ I can't deny
what I'm feelin' inside ¶
531
00:21:10,511 --> 00:21:14,330
¶ Nothin' fake about the way
you bring me to life ¶
532
00:21:14,332 --> 00:21:18,592
¶ You make every day feel
like it's Christmas ¶
533
00:21:18,594 --> 00:21:21,854
¶ Every day that
I'm with you ¶
534
00:21:21,856 --> 00:21:24,189
¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
535
00:21:24,191 --> 00:21:26,191
¶ Oh, oh, oh
536
00:21:26,193 --> 00:21:28,027
¶ Every day that
I'm with you ¶
537
00:21:28,029 --> 00:21:30,788
¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
538
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,272
¶ Oh, oh, oh
539
00:21:32,274 --> 00:21:38,462
¶ Every day that
I'm with you ¶