1 00:00:02,077 --> 00:00:04,712 [engine rumbling] 2 00:00:07,566 --> 00:00:08,823 - Welcome back. 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:12,160 Yeah, we're having our end of summer town yard sale. 4 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,846 Sales have been quite robust. 5 00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:15,014 - I saw it first. 6 00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:16,515 - It's my birdbath! 7 00:00:16,592 --> 00:00:19,834 - You know you fighting over a used bidet, right? 8 00:00:19,912 --> 00:00:21,520 'Cause that's a big old badonk. 9 00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:22,670 - It's my badonk! 10 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,264 - No, it's mine! 11 00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,933 - Hey, stop playing with the kitchen gadgets! 12 00:00:27,086 --> 00:00:29,361 Anyway, the town is busier than ever. 13 00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:31,421 Thank goodness it's not bigger, though. 14 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,533 I don't think we could handle any more excitement. 15 00:00:34,684 --> 00:00:35,759 - Woo-hoo, Flatch! 16 00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:37,277 Get ready for Barb. 17 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,446 [laughs] Hold on, camera lady. 18 00:00:39,523 --> 00:00:42,099 I'm feeling a celebratory donut coming on. 19 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:43,876 Woo-hoo-hoo! 20 00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:45,118 [tires squealing] 21 00:00:45,271 --> 00:00:47,271 Yeah, Flatch! 22 00:00:47,289 --> 00:00:48,789 - So here's what's new-- 23 00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:50,274 I got my wisdom tooth taken out. 24 00:00:50,276 --> 00:00:51,608 I actually feel smarter than before. 25 00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:54,053 - Yeah, and--and my gap year from art school 26 00:00:54,129 --> 00:00:57,222 is literally crazy perfect. 27 00:00:57,415 --> 00:01:00,967 For starters, Nan went to Mexico for a medical vacation 28 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,619 to get her hips replaced, 29 00:01:02,638 --> 00:01:04,212 and she ended up just loving that tequila 30 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,640 and her new hip so much that she just decided to stay. 31 00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:08,809 So basically, this house is up for sale, 32 00:01:08,885 --> 00:01:12,887 and no one is calling, probably because the phone number's 33 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,314 like a billion digits long. 34 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:17,134 So I basically get the whole place to myself. 35 00:01:17,152 --> 00:01:18,393 It's my very own crash crib. 36 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,986 Calling it the Shrub Hub. 37 00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:21,138 - Members only. 38 00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:23,064 [both yelling] - [grunts] 39 00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:24,474 - I'm living the gap year dream. 40 00:01:24,493 --> 00:01:26,326 And I'm getting paid for my art. 41 00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:28,645 So literally suck it, school. 42 00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:31,256 Also, been hanging out with Beth, like, a ton. 43 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:36,670 - So do you want a Mickey two, three, or four? 44 00:01:36,822 --> 00:01:39,264 - I mean, yeah, she's technically with Mickey, but-- 45 00:01:39,416 --> 00:01:40,490 Four. 46 00:01:40,509 --> 00:01:41,992 --not for long, let's put it that way. 47 00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:43,418 - That's a good one. 48 00:01:43,495 --> 00:01:44,436 - But yeah, she's going to fall... 49 00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:47,773 towards me and away from Mickey, so... 50 00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:49,015 - Dude! 51 00:01:49,168 --> 00:01:50,642 I found your nan's box of party hats! 52 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,760 - Dude, yeah! 53 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,005 Gap year on fuego! 54 00:01:55,023 --> 00:01:57,098 [laughs] Oh! 55 00:01:57,118 --> 00:02:01,011 - Well, here I am, back in my old hometown. 56 00:02:01,029 --> 00:02:03,680 Ah, I haven't been here for eons. 57 00:02:03,682 --> 00:02:06,199 [chuckles] I been living in Pompano Beach, Florida, 58 00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:08,460 AKA "the Pomp." Ha. 59 00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:13,039 But recently, some things have changed in Barb's life. 60 00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:16,360 You know, I thought it would be a great opportunity 61 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:18,953 to have a little adventure. 62 00:02:19,031 --> 00:02:19,954 Oops. 63 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:20,973 Did I do that? 64 00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:22,366 Ha! 65 00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:24,701 I was a pretty big deal back in the day-- 66 00:02:24,794 --> 00:02:26,370 Flatch royalty and all. 67 00:02:26,372 --> 00:02:28,480 I just hope I don't draw too much attention. 68 00:02:28,707 --> 00:02:30,232 Come on! 69 00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:33,986 - Cheryl has been living with me at my house. 70 00:02:34,062 --> 00:02:35,562 It's going really well! 71 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,398 - This relaxed, semi-rural life is really growing on me. 72 00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:41,660 You know, I'm trying to be more organic. 73 00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:43,387 I make my own deodorant. Hmm. 74 00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:45,813 And it really works. [giggles] 75 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,332 [chickens clucking] 76 00:02:47,484 --> 00:02:49,484 - And Cheryl's been raising chickens. 77 00:02:49,561 --> 00:02:51,819 And they have definitely been keeping her busy. 78 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,488 And I am making my own beer. 79 00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,749 I'm not sure why it's green, though. 80 00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:57,250 It's a work in progress. 81 00:02:57,327 --> 00:03:01,513 - So yeah, since you guys left, I had a baby. 82 00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:02,422 Psych! [laughs] 83 00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:03,423 No, can you imagine? 84 00:03:03,575 --> 00:03:05,409 That makes me sick to think about. 85 00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:07,335 Uh, this is my half-sis, Ashlynn. 86 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,247 My dad's been having me watch her a bunch. 87 00:03:10,265 --> 00:03:13,192 He has his hands full with his girlfriend Jessie. 88 00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:14,509 She's super high maintenance. 89 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,344 She, like, puts limes in her water. 90 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,530 It's like, pick a snack or a drink if you want one. 91 00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:20,590 I'm teaching her the ways of the world, you know? 92 00:03:20,592 --> 00:03:23,017 My dad wasn't really around for me growing up, 93 00:03:23,095 --> 00:03:25,111 so same goes for her. 94 00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:27,188 Falls on me to be her mentor. 95 00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:28,916 - Kelly is 100% over-identifying 96 00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:29,933 with that baby. 97 00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:31,543 - Shrub, come on! 98 00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,253 Push us. 99 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,259 - Please don't film me. Seriously. 100 00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:42,295 Hi. - Oh, my God, Nadine, 101 00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:44,890 you have to get that looked at by a doctor. 102 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,633 - Oh! Hah hah! It's a baby, idiot. 103 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,876 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear you're having a baby idiot. 104 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,546 Oh! You just got Shrubbed. 105 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,640 - Look, I'm here on official Historical Society business, 106 00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:54,958 Shrub. 107 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:55,976 - [as Yoda] Oh, who's Shrub? 108 00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:57,127 I'm not Shrub. 109 00:03:57,145 --> 00:03:58,979 - Oh, my gosh, just let me in--move! 110 00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:00,480 I need the Flatch cane. 111 00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:02,890 Now that your nan has moved, we need to pass it on 112 00:04:02,968 --> 00:04:04,968 to the next oldest person in town. 113 00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:06,245 - A cane parade! - A cane parade! 114 00:04:06,321 --> 00:04:08,914 - Yes! Dude, party! 115 00:04:09,141 --> 00:04:10,082 - The Flatch cane is a tradition we've had 116 00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,491 for hundreds of years. 117 00:04:11,643 --> 00:04:14,311 The oldest person in town is the keeper of the cane. 118 00:04:14,313 --> 00:04:16,329 And when they move on to eternal rest, 119 00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:17,905 or Acapulco, 120 00:04:17,983 --> 00:04:21,485 we have a parade to take it to the next oldest person in town. 121 00:04:21,503 --> 00:04:25,155 Now, the cane is going to Old Lady Flatch. 122 00:04:25,157 --> 00:04:27,157 I invited her daughter Barbara 123 00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:28,767 to come be part of the ceremony. 124 00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:30,251 Can you imagine if she comes? 125 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:34,106 [exhales] Two Flatches in Flatch. 126 00:04:34,182 --> 00:04:35,665 [two sharp inhales] 127 00:04:35,684 --> 00:04:37,776 [exhales] 128 00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:39,444 I have to control my excitement 129 00:04:39,521 --> 00:04:41,280 so I don't go into early labor. [laughs] 130 00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:44,265 I do not need a Virgo in my life. 131 00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:45,784 - We haven't had a cane parade in forever. 132 00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:47,193 - Yeah. - Everyone dresses up 133 00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:49,121 their cars. - It's like a whole tailgate. 134 00:04:49,197 --> 00:04:51,456 And guess who gets to lead the whole parade this year? 135 00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:53,292 - Basically the youngest member of the family 136 00:04:53,368 --> 00:04:55,368 passes the cane and has to make a speech. 137 00:04:55,521 --> 00:04:57,037 Mickey's done it like four times. 138 00:04:57,113 --> 00:04:58,130 - Yeah, well, obviously I'm gonna be way better 139 00:04:58,206 --> 00:05:00,040 than Mickey on that. 140 00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:01,207 - Totally. - [sighs] 141 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,359 It's actually gonna be perfect, 142 00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:04,210 because I'm gonna use the speech 143 00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:06,196 to express my love for Beth 144 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:08,456 in front of literally everyone in town, 145 00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:11,184 and she's going to fall hard for me all over again. 146 00:05:14,056 --> 00:05:16,648 - Chickens are so much fun. 147 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,058 I started with three, 148 00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:20,468 but it's time to expand my brood. 149 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,988 So I ordered a bunch of chicks from this place 150 00:05:23,065 --> 00:05:24,972 called chicks2you.com. 151 00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:28,401 It's literally baby chicks that come to the post office. 152 00:05:28,478 --> 00:05:29,553 [laughs] 153 00:05:29,571 --> 00:05:32,556 Oh, uh, but don't go to chicks2you.net. 154 00:05:32,574 --> 00:05:34,982 That's something entirely different, very illegal. 155 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,077 Anyway, so, um, yeah, 156 00:05:37,153 --> 00:05:40,246 now Joe has his flock, and I have mine. 157 00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:41,989 Oh, my God, it's a chicken joke. 158 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:43,233 I didn't even know. - Ha ha ha ha! 159 00:05:43,235 --> 00:05:45,569 - Chickens on the mind. 160 00:05:45,571 --> 00:05:46,903 Mmm. 161 00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:49,514 - Borrowed my dad's truck for the Cane Train. 162 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,300 Course, he's too busy to actually be in the parade. 163 00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:54,019 That's why me and my BFF-- 164 00:05:54,096 --> 00:05:56,671 Baby Friend Forever-- are hanging, per "yush." 165 00:05:56,748 --> 00:05:59,841 - And I have been working on my killer speech. 166 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,267 - What you got so far? 167 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,861 - Not sharing. - You got nothing. 168 00:06:02,938 --> 00:06:05,088 - No, that is--no. 169 00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:06,256 I have nothing. 170 00:06:06,258 --> 00:06:08,216 Beth's gonna see me crumble. 171 00:06:08,293 --> 00:06:10,243 What rhymes with "cane"? 172 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:14,948 Nothing. It's insane. 173 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,875 - [laughs] I saw the funniest cat video. 174 00:06:16,952 --> 00:06:18,877 Check this out. - Okay, so... 175 00:06:18,954 --> 00:06:21,046 you want the good news or the bad news? 176 00:06:21,123 --> 00:06:22,363 - I guess good. 177 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:23,623 - The town selectmen chose you 178 00:06:23,775 --> 00:06:25,717 for a big, important role in the cane parade. 179 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:28,387 - [gasps] That's exciting! 180 00:06:28,463 --> 00:06:30,280 Am I in the front, leading my flock? 181 00:06:30,298 --> 00:06:31,556 - Negatory. You're the caboose. 182 00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:33,408 You gotta ride in the back and make sure 183 00:06:33,485 --> 00:06:34,893 nothing big gets left in the road. 184 00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:36,878 It's kind of like a booby prize. 185 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,714 - So really, none of this is good news. 186 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,358 - Nope. 187 00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:53,227 - You want chaos? 188 00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,247 You let Kelly and Shrub lead the parade. 189 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,900 That's why I'm taking over as traffic warden 190 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,311 and unofficial parade marshal. 191 00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:04,572 I got a personal investment in this thing running smoothly. 192 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,651 My meemaw was all set to get the cane, like, 100 years ago, 193 00:07:07,653 --> 00:07:10,003 and then some dude's wheel fell off his horse wagon-- 194 00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:11,655 stopped the parade dead. 195 00:07:11,673 --> 00:07:14,916 And then by the time they got to meemaw, she was dead, too. 196 00:07:14,993 --> 00:07:16,993 Never again! 197 00:07:17,012 --> 00:07:19,563 Not on my watch. 198 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,339 [background chatter] 199 00:07:29,357 --> 00:07:32,099 [over megaphone] All right, everyone line up 200 00:07:32,177 --> 00:07:35,695 right in front of Father Joe, way back there. 201 00:07:35,847 --> 00:07:38,014 He's the caboose. 202 00:07:38,016 --> 00:07:39,791 - I should be leading my congregation, 203 00:07:39,943 --> 00:07:41,609 not bringing up the rear. 204 00:07:41,687 --> 00:07:46,022 - Babe, the caboose is still a very special role. 205 00:07:46,024 --> 00:07:47,799 You're the closer. 206 00:07:47,951 --> 00:07:50,952 - It's the booby prize. 207 00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:53,430 I'm the ca-boob. 208 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:58,143 - Anybody have eyes on Shrub or the cane? 209 00:07:58,294 --> 00:07:59,627 Specifically the cane. 210 00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:01,371 I really don't care about Shrub, actually. 211 00:08:01,389 --> 00:08:04,149 Anybody seen 'em? Anybody? 212 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,151 - Hey, Kel, Kel, come on, let's go. 213 00:08:06,228 --> 00:08:08,153 We're gonna be late. - I literally can't. 214 00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:09,470 I still have the baby. - What? 215 00:08:09,548 --> 00:08:10,805 - And my dad was supposed to pick her up, 216 00:08:10,882 --> 00:08:11,823 like, an hour ago. 217 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:12,991 - What? - He's not picking up. 218 00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,217 She's out of diapers. 219 00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:15,476 - Just leave her on the couch, dude. 220 00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:17,220 There's the--there's that weird stain already there. 221 00:08:17,222 --> 00:08:18,905 - Are you insane? - Dude, you are not 222 00:08:18,982 --> 00:08:20,314 ruining this for me, okay? This is the peak 223 00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:22,058 of my gap year-- bring her with us, or don't. 224 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,076 I don't care--let's go! 225 00:08:23,228 --> 00:08:24,728 [truck starts] 226 00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:26,079 Let's do this. 227 00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:28,673 - Hang on, baby girl. 228 00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:29,674 - Whoa! 229 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,677 Puhhh! 230 00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:35,222 I'm coming, Beth! 231 00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:40,593 - God, more like Shoddy Acres. 232 00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:43,079 Look at that janky-ass roof. It's terrible. 233 00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:45,506 [crash] Oh, my God! Ah! 234 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,860 How are these not in the handicapped spot? 235 00:08:49,012 --> 00:08:51,613 I mean, this is just-- 236 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,202 Oh, hello! 237 00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:00,372 More cameras. 238 00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,282 Hi. Um... 239 00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:06,545 I am Barb Flatch Feliciano, 240 00:09:06,696 --> 00:09:08,713 soon to be... 241 00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:11,032 Barb Flatch again. 242 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,720 I'm sure you are probably surprised to see me. 243 00:09:15,797 --> 00:09:17,371 I mean, I bet everybody's 244 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,282 probably gonna be surprised to see me. 245 00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:22,376 #LocalCeleb. Ha. 246 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,621 Trying to keep a low profile, though. 247 00:09:24,623 --> 00:09:27,732 Just make sure you, you know, get my good side. 248 00:09:27,809 --> 00:09:28,883 Who am I kidding? 249 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,960 All of Barb's sides are good. 250 00:09:31,095 --> 00:09:32,737 - Barbie, is that you? 251 00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:34,964 - It is, Mom! Hey! 252 00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,908 Oh, my God, are you so excited? 253 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:39,369 [whispering] She's excited. 254 00:09:44,326 --> 00:09:45,475 My wigs? 255 00:09:45,568 --> 00:09:47,827 Oh, they're just a form of self-expression, 256 00:09:47,979 --> 00:09:50,237 you know, like hair theater. 257 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,240 I mean, real estate is all just make believe, too. 258 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,669 You gotta sell people on a dream, right? 259 00:09:56,822 --> 00:09:58,154 Back in Pompano Beach, 260 00:09:58,173 --> 00:09:59,656 we were house flipper extraordinaires-- 261 00:09:59,716 --> 00:10:03,660 top 22% sellers in the Greater Lauderdale market. 262 00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:05,511 See? That's me. 263 00:10:05,664 --> 00:10:08,181 Then Burt flipped me for a girl named Renee 264 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,349 who sells timeshares. 265 00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:11,167 - So you drove Burt away, huh? 266 00:10:11,186 --> 00:10:13,186 - Let's just concentrate on getting you that cane. 267 00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:14,779 - I don't want the cane. 268 00:10:15,006 --> 00:10:16,189 It's a curse. 269 00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:17,857 You get the cane, and then you die. 270 00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:20,660 I don't want their damn cursed cane. 271 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:28,293 - People, we have arrived, okay? 272 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,112 Cane King is here. Do not fret. 273 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,523 Follow us! - Hey, bro. 274 00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:35,950 Looking good. - Yeah, I like your cape. 275 00:10:36,027 --> 00:10:38,119 - Oh, my God, you do? Thank you. 276 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,545 Yeah, I made it myself. 277 00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,531 It started off as a flag, to be honest. 278 00:10:41,549 --> 00:10:44,291 But it looked so good that I just had to wear it. 279 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,885 - Hey, are you nervous for your speech? 280 00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:48,037 - No. - That's good. 281 00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:49,314 Because remember in fourth grade when you gave 282 00:10:49,632 --> 00:10:52,725 that book report on "Beezus and Ramona," and you threw up? 283 00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:54,394 - No, I-- 284 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,212 - Really, it was, like, a big deal. 285 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:57,972 You started crying and got the hiccups. 286 00:10:58,049 --> 00:10:59,324 - I said I don't remember, dude. 287 00:10:59,401 --> 00:11:00,307 I'm not a nerd. 288 00:11:00,385 --> 00:11:02,327 - Mickey, move it or lose it. 289 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,311 - Well, I am looking forward to your wise words. 290 00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:05,722 And you got the Mickey number three. 291 00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:07,891 He got the Mickey number three! That's a classic. 292 00:11:07,909 --> 00:11:09,058 - Hey, we gonna chitchat, 293 00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,317 or are we gonna hand over a cane? 294 00:11:10,395 --> 00:11:12,486 - Yeah. - Everybody, follow me. 295 00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:14,155 - Wait, no, no. I thought--I thought, like, 296 00:11:14,232 --> 00:11:15,173 we were in the front. 297 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,900 - Uh, do you have the bullhorn? 298 00:11:16,902 --> 00:11:19,094 No, you don't. 299 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,391 - Like-- - Move out! 300 00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,017 - Move out! 301 00:11:26,244 --> 00:11:29,579 [band music] 302 00:11:29,597 --> 00:11:30,838 - Wahoo! 303 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:38,196 ♪ ♪ 304 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,495 - This sucks. 305 00:11:48,950 --> 00:11:52,711 [band music] 306 00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:56,530 ♪ ♪ 307 00:11:56,624 --> 00:11:58,975 - I'm sure our dad didn't mean to forget about you. 308 00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:01,444 But I mean, yeah, kind of his thing. 309 00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:02,887 One time, he left me at a Dairy Queen 310 00:12:03,039 --> 00:12:04,872 for, like, an hour on accident. 311 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,874 Joke's on him, though, because everyone felt so bad for me, 312 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,542 they kept buying me Dilly Bars. 313 00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:10,395 ♪ ♪ 314 00:12:10,472 --> 00:12:13,380 Also, he's been super busy trying to make your mom happy. 315 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,067 Like, no offense, but she's a lot. 316 00:12:16,144 --> 00:12:17,885 I give them like a month before they split. 317 00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:20,980 Truthfully, I don't think he can commit to anyone-- 318 00:12:21,132 --> 00:12:25,485 you, me, my mom, your mom, the dentist. 319 00:12:25,637 --> 00:12:27,328 Hey, Ron. 320 00:12:28,823 --> 00:12:29,989 No, don't worry, okay? 321 00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:32,642 Ashlynn, he left my mom, and look at me. 322 00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:34,586 I'm fabulous. 323 00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:39,907 Dude, what the hell? Is that coming from you? 324 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:44,078 [sighs] You heard when I said we're out of diapers, right? 325 00:12:44,155 --> 00:12:45,263 [phone alert] 326 00:12:45,414 --> 00:12:48,157 - Oh, my gosh, the chicks are in? 327 00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:49,826 They weren't supposed to come till tomorrow. 328 00:12:49,828 --> 00:12:51,494 We have to go to the post office. 329 00:12:51,513 --> 00:12:54,330 - I have my super important caboose job, babe. 330 00:12:54,332 --> 00:12:56,165 - I'm not kidding. It is hot out. 331 00:12:56,184 --> 00:12:58,943 They could die in their cute little box. 332 00:12:59,095 --> 00:13:01,529 We can't roast those chickens, Joe. 333 00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:03,948 - Okay. - Go. 334 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,174 [honks] 335 00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:06,934 - Hey, hey, hey! - Go! 336 00:13:07,012 --> 00:13:08,995 Go, go, go-- - We're going! 337 00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,847 - Hey, stay in line! 338 00:13:10,865 --> 00:13:13,232 - Cheryl has to get her babies. 339 00:13:13,384 --> 00:13:14,942 - Cheryl's having a baby. 340 00:13:15,020 --> 00:13:16,610 Let 'em through. 341 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:20,023 - Lady in labor! 342 00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:21,949 - Sorry. 343 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,134 - Don't apologize, it wastes time! 344 00:13:23,211 --> 00:13:24,527 - You're right. I'm sorry. - It wastes time! 345 00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:26,954 - I'm sorry. We're coming, babies! 346 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,865 - [crying] - You can make it. 347 00:13:28,883 --> 00:13:30,716 You got this, okay? 348 00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,143 - [crying loudly] 349 00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:35,480 - Think about happy things, like a puppy riding a Roomba. 350 00:13:35,631 --> 00:13:37,040 You love that video. 351 00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:38,724 Ashlynn's having a meltdown. 352 00:13:38,877 --> 00:13:40,376 She has, like, a pound of crap in her pants. 353 00:13:40,378 --> 00:13:42,654 - Dude, well, tell her to suck it up. 354 00:13:42,881 --> 00:13:44,305 I don't know what to tell you. 355 00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:46,399 - If she sucks up all that poop into her body, she'll die! 356 00:13:46,551 --> 00:13:47,992 - God. Well-- - Okay, we're doing a quick 357 00:13:48,144 --> 00:13:50,019 pit stop at Jessie's house. - No! 358 00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:51,812 - I have to get a fresh diaper. - No! No! 359 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,647 No! Don't turn! 360 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,815 Don't turn, dude! 361 00:13:54,893 --> 00:13:56,909 What are you doing? 362 00:13:57,062 --> 00:13:58,652 I don't know what to do! 363 00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:05,426 ♪ ♪ 364 00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:16,312 - Nothing but chaos. 365 00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,841 - Okay, okay, nobody panic. 366 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,176 I still have the cane. 367 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,345 Just need to make a pit stop real quick. 368 00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:26,756 - Come on, Ashy. Let me get you out. 369 00:14:26,774 --> 00:14:28,849 - [crying] 370 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,577 - Oh, here they come. 371 00:14:32,447 --> 00:14:35,164 That is one hell of a sad parade. 372 00:14:39,695 --> 00:14:41,212 - Barbie Flatch? 373 00:14:41,289 --> 00:14:42,438 - Little Mandy? 374 00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:45,032 I haven't seen you since I supervised your tent 375 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:47,886 at the Girl Scout camp, and you tied me to my bunk. 376 00:14:48,037 --> 00:14:49,445 - Oh, man, good memories. 377 00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:51,280 - You were a little bossy pants. 378 00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:54,208 - It's Big Mandy now, and I'm still the boss of my pants-- 379 00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:56,452 who gets in 'em, and who gets shut out of 'em. 380 00:14:56,454 --> 00:14:58,287 Anyways, we ain't got time for chitchat. 381 00:14:58,306 --> 00:15:00,547 As I predicted, the parade went all off course. 382 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,308 And I'm not letting it get worse, 383 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:05,236 so I got to take your mom to the new location, stat. 384 00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:06,145 Let's go. 385 00:15:06,297 --> 00:15:08,555 - Just give it to someone else. 386 00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:10,483 - [whispers] No. 387 00:15:10,559 --> 00:15:11,743 She died? 388 00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:13,970 Not another meemaw. 389 00:15:13,972 --> 00:15:15,321 - No, no, she's alive. 390 00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:17,823 She just doesn't want to accept the cane. 391 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,917 - That's crazy. 392 00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:20,418 - All right, look, just tell me where it is, 393 00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:22,478 and I'll go get it for her. - It's faster if I show you. 394 00:15:22,497 --> 00:15:26,215 Come on, hop on. Oh, wear this. 395 00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:30,244 Hop on and hold on. 396 00:15:30,321 --> 00:15:33,339 Where you put your hands is dealer's choice. 397 00:15:33,491 --> 00:15:35,266 [engine revs] 398 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,499 [Kel panting] 399 00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,334 - Hey, Kel, what's with the party down here? 400 00:15:45,336 --> 00:15:48,095 - You were supposed to pick up Ashlynn two hours ago, okay? 401 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,930 She needs a fresh diaper and a dad that won't 402 00:15:50,008 --> 00:15:51,674 leave her at Dairy Queen. - Okay, chill, chill, chill. 403 00:15:51,676 --> 00:15:53,618 I just got busy with something kind of important, okay? 404 00:15:53,769 --> 00:15:55,511 Just hold on to her for two more minutes, all right? 405 00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,062 Just--yeah. - Are you serious? Dad-- 406 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,790 - Just a few more minutes, okay? 407 00:15:58,941 --> 00:15:59,791 - What the hell is happening? 408 00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,442 What are we doing here? 409 00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:02,776 If Barbara Flatch comes, she's never 410 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:03,962 going to be able to find us. 411 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,313 It's like you're making a mockery 412 00:16:05,315 --> 00:16:07,715 of a revered town tradition. 413 00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:15,289 - Oh, no. No, no, no, um... 414 00:16:15,366 --> 00:16:17,291 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 415 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,459 Excuse me! 416 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,144 Beth. 417 00:16:20,221 --> 00:16:23,873 Oh, and--and everyone as well. 418 00:16:23,891 --> 00:16:25,224 I still need to get my speech. 419 00:16:25,376 --> 00:16:28,361 If you could come back here, that would be great. 420 00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:35,660 - Hope my being here doesn't steal focus. 421 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,496 Hey. 422 00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:39,555 What's going on? 423 00:16:39,557 --> 00:16:40,556 Barb Flatch. 424 00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:41,541 Okay. 425 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,727 - You left the AC on in the car, right? 426 00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:46,337 - Yep. - Okay. 427 00:16:46,489 --> 00:16:47,913 Do you think they're hungry? 428 00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:49,156 - Maybe you could chew up a pretzel 429 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,508 and spit it into their mouths. 430 00:16:50,659 --> 00:16:51,584 - Oh. 431 00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,753 - Babe, joke. 432 00:16:53,829 --> 00:16:55,346 - Duh! - [laughs] 433 00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:58,641 - Hey, ticktock. Eyes over here, people. 434 00:16:59,911 --> 00:17:00,910 - Hello, hi. 435 00:17:00,928 --> 00:17:02,928 Welcome to my speech. 436 00:17:03,005 --> 00:17:04,671 Um... 437 00:17:04,766 --> 00:17:06,265 well, it's a start. 438 00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:08,934 Nan is totally still alive. 439 00:17:09,011 --> 00:17:11,654 Thank God, seriously. 440 00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:16,850 My gap year is going literally amazing, Beth. 441 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,945 My art is, like, getting better. 442 00:17:20,098 --> 00:17:21,706 I'm getting better, like, as a person. 443 00:17:21,857 --> 00:17:25,359 Stronger--way stronger than Mickey, I'll tell you that. 444 00:17:25,436 --> 00:17:27,861 I'm doing literally ab work every single day 445 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:32,592 and I'm getting swole and just living my best life. 446 00:17:34,629 --> 00:17:36,462 Um... 447 00:17:36,614 --> 00:17:40,299 Look, guys, everyone has to live out their dream 448 00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,894 before they pass over their cane, 449 00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:44,804 AKA die, right? 450 00:17:44,956 --> 00:17:46,713 Like, you can't wait, people. 451 00:17:46,791 --> 00:17:48,900 Like, be like Cheryl. 452 00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:50,810 Like, have that baby. 453 00:17:50,962 --> 00:17:51,961 - Oh, no, I'm not-- 454 00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:54,555 - Nan dreamt of walking normal. 455 00:17:54,574 --> 00:18:00,394 But you can train yourself into literally anything you want... 456 00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:06,417 Like getting back with the most perfect girl in Flatch. 457 00:18:08,479 --> 00:18:12,906 Ha. Shoot, you make me smile. 458 00:18:12,984 --> 00:18:15,259 Carpe diem, people. 459 00:18:15,336 --> 00:18:18,988 Carpe diem, which is an ancient saying 460 00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:20,172 that means seize your carpets, 461 00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:23,175 which loosely translates to follow your dreams. 462 00:18:23,252 --> 00:18:25,845 So do yourselves a favor and live out 463 00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:29,482 your dream gap year every day. 464 00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:31,851 You just got Shrubbed, all of you. 465 00:18:32,003 --> 00:18:33,111 - Yeah, yeah. - Oh. 466 00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:34,019 - Yeah, hi. - Who are you? 467 00:18:34,096 --> 00:18:35,095 - Hi, I am Barb Flatch. 468 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,856 I'm here. It's me. 469 00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:38,616 Hi. - Barbara Flatch! 470 00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:39,784 Barbara Flatch. 471 00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:40,785 That's Barbara Flatch, you guys. 472 00:18:40,895 --> 00:18:42,102 - I am so excited. 473 00:18:42,196 --> 00:18:44,455 I see so many familiar faces right now. 474 00:18:44,532 --> 00:18:45,698 This is crazy. 475 00:18:45,774 --> 00:18:48,609 And I just want to say I accept this cane. 476 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:52,296 - ♪ And though I'll make mistakes ♪ 477 00:18:52,373 --> 00:18:57,284 ♪ I'll never break your heart ♪ 478 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:02,047 ♪ And I swear by the moon ♪ 479 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,218 ♪ And the stars in the sky ♪ 480 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:07,311 ♪ I'll be there...♪ - Bobby? 481 00:19:07,388 --> 00:19:09,647 What are you doing? - Kelly, take this. 482 00:19:09,724 --> 00:19:11,632 - ♪ I swear ♪ 483 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:15,653 ♪ Like the shadow that's by your side... ♪ 484 00:19:15,804 --> 00:19:16,879 [crowd gasps] 485 00:19:16,881 --> 00:19:18,881 - Oh, my God. 486 00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,491 - Oh, my God. 487 00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:21,567 Yes! 488 00:19:21,719 --> 00:19:24,328 [cheering] 489 00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:32,170 - Thanks for taking care of her, Kel, 490 00:19:32,246 --> 00:19:34,321 while I was planning all of this. 491 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,989 I wasn't expecting the crowd, but the more the merrier. 492 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:37,675 Anybody got beer down there? Beer? 493 00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:40,261 [all cheering] Come on! 494 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:45,832 - Where are my girls? Where are my girls? 495 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:49,078 - ♪ I swear ♪ 496 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,230 ♪ ♪ 497 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,842 - Where are the babies? 498 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:56,936 - Oh, they're in the car. 499 00:19:57,088 --> 00:19:58,696 But don't worry, I left the AC on. 500 00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:01,157 - [gasps, huffs] 501 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,659 - Ooh! 502 00:20:05,112 --> 00:20:06,687 - I liked your speech. 503 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,113 - Hi. Well, thank you. 504 00:20:08,266 --> 00:20:10,357 - Your necklace is awesome. 505 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:13,860 - Oh, thanks. Yeah, I made it myself. 506 00:20:13,955 --> 00:20:16,047 - Do you want to hopscotch later? 507 00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,457 - Uh, totally. 508 00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:20,259 - Okay. 509 00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:26,873 - So, yeah, killed it at the cane parade. 510 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,042 Pretty much blew Beth's mind. 511 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,877 - Guess who's babysitting Ashlynn later? 512 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,288 Moi, per yush. 513 00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:34,232 When that marriage crashes and burns, 514 00:20:34,383 --> 00:20:37,050 she's going to need me more than ever. 515 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,462 Nothing changes here in good old Flatch. 516 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,982 - Mm, the new lady's kind of hot, though. 517 00:20:43,134 --> 00:20:44,817 And weird. 518 00:20:44,969 --> 00:20:46,151 - Yeah. 519 00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:48,061 - Cheryl and I are not pregnant. 520 00:20:48,155 --> 00:20:49,488 Gonna have to return that Pack 'n' Play 521 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,857 and used breast pump somebody dropped off for us. 522 00:20:52,009 --> 00:20:53,325 But I think that Cheryl and I 523 00:20:53,327 --> 00:20:55,144 are gonna make great parents one day. 524 00:20:55,162 --> 00:20:57,813 I mean, we're already co-parenting chickens. 525 00:20:57,815 --> 00:21:00,574 And you know, if people don't always want to follow me, 526 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,151 that's okay. 527 00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:05,078 You can't always wait for people to flock to ya. 528 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,357 Sometimes you just have to flock yourself. 529 00:21:09,327 --> 00:21:10,768 - That weird kid's speech about carpe diem 530 00:21:10,919 --> 00:21:12,344 really stuck with me. 531 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,772 I mean, it's never too late to start a second chapter, 532 00:21:14,849 --> 00:21:16,649 am I right? 533 00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:23,022 Hey, carpe diem kid. 534 00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,189 Hey, Barb Flatch. 535 00:21:24,342 --> 00:21:25,691 I just bought this house, 536 00:21:25,843 --> 00:21:26,842 so I need you to move out 537 00:21:26,861 --> 00:21:28,494 by next week.