1 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:18,059 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:45,378 Hey! Does commitment have one T or two? 3 00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,465 Nobody? 4 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,384 Ah, fuck it. Who cares? 5 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,149 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 6 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,657 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 7 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:17,118 {\an8}- ♪ (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - Oh, do you like this? 8 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,119 {\an8}Love it. 9 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:20,371 {\an8}Ah. So, Gordon told me what you did... 10 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,296 ♪ (BAND SINGING IN SPANISH) ♪ 11 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:36,513 Oh! You know what, tell them. 12 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,556 Come on. Tell them, tell them about Guatemala. 13 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,850 Ah! Uh, yeah. 14 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:42,769 These girls don't want to hear about that. 15 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,145 {\an8}- Tell us! - Please, Edward. 16 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:46,147 {\an8}Yeah, go on. - Tell a story. 17 00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:48,483 You know how a lot of guys say they're with the CIA 18 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,818 so they can get you into bed, 19 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,402 when they really just sell aluminum siding? 20 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:56,074 Well, he really worked for the CIA. 21 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,116 Come on! 22 00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,911 No, you're right. I sell aluminum siding. 23 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,830 - Stop it! - I knew it! 24 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,873 He's lying. He's making me look like a liar. 25 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,708 Funny story about Guatemala. 26 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:10,880 I let el presidente and his wife escape into exile. 27 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,967 They insisted that this scrawny 28 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,052 Argentine medical student come with them. 29 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,221 And do you know 30 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,765 - who that kid was? - Who? 31 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,520 Ernesto Guevara. 32 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,277 Che fucking Guevara. 33 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,820 - Che. - Far out. 34 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,655 Do you know who that is? 35 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,323 A musician? No. 36 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,785 When the CIA assassinated Che, 37 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:44,455 they sent this guy the son of a bitch's hands 38 00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:49,252 - in a fucking box! In a box! - Hey, who's telling this story? 39 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,545 I'm sorry. 40 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,380 I just love that part, though. 41 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,258 In a box! Hello! 42 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,678 - Hands in a box. - And tiny. 43 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,096 "Merry Christmas. Oh, it's a present? 44 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,764 No, it's fucking hands!" 45 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:06,644 So, like, what do you need us for? 46 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:10,398 Well, we've got big plans for the Democrats! 47 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:13,151 As you may or may not know, 48 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,988 the Democratic National Convention will be held here. 49 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,490 - In Miami. - Uh, yeah. We're well aware. 50 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,660 - It's high season. - We would set you two up 51 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:27,373 with a few of your friends in a swanky yacht, 52 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,292 with all the champagne 53 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,670 and cocaine your little hearts desired, 54 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,632 and a couple of hidden movie cameras 55 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,800 for our friends back in Washington. 56 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,219 - Like, for blackmail? - Ooh! 57 00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:43,222 So, how do we know we can trust you? 58 00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,975 My word is my bond. 59 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,149 I do not bend. 60 00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,820 And I do not break. 61 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,492 Please stop. 62 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,292 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 63 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,120 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 64 00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,207 {\an8}Oh! May I see some ID? 65 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,002 {\an8}Jim. I just walked out of here 15 minutes ago. 66 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,921 - You saw me leave. - Did I? 67 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,881 You know I outrank you. 68 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:02,218 Members of the Committee need to have ID on them at all times. 69 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,512 Do you ask Mitchell for his ID? 70 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,806 No. I know John Mitchell by sight. 71 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,017 He's the attorney general and head of the committee. 72 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,518 Well... 73 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:12,395 ...you're about to get very used to the sight of me. 74 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,189 {\an8}- I just moved my office here. - I'll vouch for him, Jim. 75 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,066 {\an8}Gordon here's in charge of dirty tricks. 76 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,359 First thing tomorrow, 77 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,028 we're actually going to pitch his million-dollar, 78 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,904 rat-fucking idea to Mr. Mitchell. 79 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,365 Oh, is that so? Good luck with that. 80 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,452 Let's go. 81 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:34,375 Jeb, do not tell people what I really do here. 82 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,669 - Especially that oddball. - Ooh! 83 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,212 - Are these the goods, Gordo? - Hey! 84 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:41,507 Yes, straight from the CIA art department. 85 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:45,470 - What happened to your hand? - I burned it. On purpose. 86 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,764 Hey, where is this spook partner of yours? 87 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,932 He'll be popping by from the White House. 88 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,310 Don't you worry. He will be here. 89 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:55,063 - Morning, gentlemen. - Howard Hunt, Jeb Magruder. 90 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,483 Jeb, pleased to meet you. 91 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,734 How did you get in here? 92 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:03,196 - How do you like steel? - Oh, do you play? 93 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,115 Well, I dabble. Yeah. 94 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,326 You and I might need to get out on the court, 95 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,786 mix it up at my club. 96 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,079 Ah, Chevy Chase, right? 97 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,331 I heard all you CIA spooks belong there. 98 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,541 Lakewood, actually. 99 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:19,962 Chevy Chase is a little stuffy for my taste. 100 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:22,006 See you on the court. 101 00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:24,092 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 102 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,636 - What is that? - Walther Luftpistole. 103 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,222 Like the James Bond posters? 104 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,140 Mm, mm. 105 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,394 Silent. 106 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,771 Lethal. 107 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:37,814 German. 108 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,148 Oh, okay! Okay. 109 00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:42,235 Hey, I don't care if it can suck my cock and cook me breakfast, 110 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,569 there's no guns in the office, Gordon. 111 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:46,447 Everyone's a lot safer with this baby here in my desk. 112 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,157 Oh, Jesus. 113 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,993 {\an8}♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 114 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,004 Hi, Willie. 115 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,632 Oh, let me get that, dear. Oh! 116 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:10,471 - Wow, this is really something. - Oh, well. It's not bad. 117 00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:12,515 You should see the University Club. 118 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,474 Oh, hi! 119 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,518 Gordon, maybe we should join a club. 120 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,687 I'm game. Good for hobnobbing. 121 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,647 Think you could get us in here? 122 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:22,650 Well, it is a two-year waitlist. 123 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,610 Dear, I think that's a very kind way of saying 124 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,697 - we wouldn't get in. - Oh, I-- I got it. 125 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,533 Don't take wop-mick mongrels from Hoboken. 126 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,660 So much for the Master Race, eh, Gordon? 127 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,120 Touché. 128 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,331 - Ah, aloha, Mr. Hunt. - Ah, aloha, Louis. 129 00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:38,499 Got your favorite table all ready. 130 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,542 - Right this way. - Thank you. 131 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,210 Wonderful. 132 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,714 This is so exciting! 133 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,508 By this time tomorrow, 134 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,385 Gordon and I should have John Mitchell 135 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,095 eating out of our hands. 136 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:53,264 Hmm, just like Martha. 137 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,226 Ow! 138 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,728 Hell, yeah. 139 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,646 Okay! Come on 140 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,690 Did you know they were going to be here? 141 00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:05,443 - No, I didn't. - Are those your children? 142 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,528 - Hmm. - Yes. 143 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,030 - Hey! - Oh. 144 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,616 Going up. 145 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,993 I am way too fucking high to go over there right now. 146 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,536 It'll be worse if we don't. 147 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,164 - Good. Here they come. - Coming over. 148 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,167 - Lisa's acting weird. - How can you tell? 149 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,503 Hello, Daddy-o. 150 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,095 Lisa, St. John, this is Fran and Gordon Liddy. 151 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,223 Hi. You must be the Smithie? 152 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,934 No, that's Kevan, my younger sister. 153 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,687 - I'm Lisa. The other one. - Oh. 154 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,856 Yeah, I'm the one they don't talk about. 155 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,066 The college dropout. 156 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:47,443 Your father absolutely mentioned you. 157 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,153 You are the one that had the car accident. 158 00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:51,864 - Gordon! - What? She did. 159 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,116 A pretty bad blow to the head. 160 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,370 Sorry. 161 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,163 Are you okay, sweetie? 162 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:02,291 She's fine. She just needs some air. Right? 163 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,669 Uh, yeah, we should hit the road. 164 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,046 Yes. 165 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:10,299 - Enchanté. - Auf wiedersehen. 166 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,468 - She seems very bright. - Hmm. 167 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:13,594 The boy, too. 168 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,638 I don't know what gave you that impression. 169 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,223 - Who's hungry? - ♪ (SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 170 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,559 You know, that's quite the, uh, hippy cut on your boy. 171 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:24,939 Hmm. Reminds me of the time that I busted Timothy Leary. 172 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:28,401 Oh, that man should be rotting in a cold cell. 173 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,403 He was living in this great big mansion, 174 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,446 all these zonked-out hippie kids... 175 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:33,948 Mm-hmm. ...urinating 176 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,450 - and defecating on the floor. - Good Lord, Gordon. 177 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,828 Maybe we're not country club material after all. 178 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,997 Say, what if we were to pitch 179 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,542 Mitchell something like that at the Democratic convention? 180 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:48,379 You know, sort of show some of those stoner supporters 181 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,631 pissing on the floor. 182 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:54,135 You could have them shouting. 183 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,680 "Piss on Nixon, Piss on Nixon!" 184 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,308 "Piss on Nixon"! That is genius. 185 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,437 Uh, what do you think about that, Fran? 186 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,898 Oh, Gordon and I never discuss his work. 187 00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:09,859 That's our secret to a happy marriage. 188 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,320 Oh, I wondered what the secret was. 189 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,490 Well, the junkies would certainly be arrested, 190 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:19,160 and they would tell the police that they've been paid. 191 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,161 Excuse me? 192 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,872 It's very high-risk, low-reward. 193 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,458 Howard, maybe we just talk about it tomorrow at work. 194 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,544 I don't know. It's risky. Maybe too risky. 195 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,714 - I'm sorry, uh, Mr. Hunt? - Hey, Don! 196 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,717 - This is my friend, Gordon. - Oh, pleasure. Uh-- 197 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,219 Um, there's a bit of an incident with your daughter. 198 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,680 What? All right. All right. Let's go. 199 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:44,477 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 200 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,020 Then why don't you apologize to him! 201 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,813 - Get your hands off of me! - Calm down! 202 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,649 Louis, tell them what he just said to you! 203 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,692 - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - I really didn't hear anything. 204 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,737 Now, Lisa, maybe you misheard what you thought you heard. 205 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,364 Louis just doesn't want to be fired 206 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,491 for being Black and outspoken! 207 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,534 I don't want to be fired, period. 208 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:03,037 You had to create a scene here? 209 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,831 Do you have any idea how important tomorrow is to me? 210 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,375 Do you know how much you've embarrassed us? 211 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,586 I am so sorry, everyone. 212 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,799 Lisa, honey, we love you. 213 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,134 I think you need some rest, okay? 214 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,428 So why don't you go home, the two of you. 215 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,764 Come on, sis. I'm really hungry. 216 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:26,352 Oh, Tom? Uh, Lisa wants to say sorry. 217 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,270 Yeah, go ahead. 218 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,611 I'm sorry. 219 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,657 Thank you. Racist fucking pig! 220 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,076 Goddammit! Hey! Stop that! 221 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:48,707 I am so sorry, everyone. Tom. I really-- 222 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,459 Uh, Don, 223 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,753 whatever the damages are, just put them on my bill. 224 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,588 Right. Of course, I will. 225 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,049 Okay. Thank you. 226 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,592 Excuse me, Mr. Hunt, 227 00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:01,637 speaking of finances, uh, you're late again. 228 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,639 I'd ordinarily let it slide, 229 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,474 but this has been four months in a row. 230 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,810 - Oh! It's been that long? - Four months? 231 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,688 It's still-- The White House has been running me ragged. 232 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,273 And-- And we're very proud 233 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,774 that you're there working on our behalf, 234 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:16,277 but I just wanted to remind you, in case it had slipped your mind. 235 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,445 No, absolutely not. 236 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,697 We will take care of everything, won't we, Howard? 237 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:23,367 Yes. Absolutely, we will take care of everything. 238 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:24,952 Thank you. 239 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,247 {\an8}♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 240 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,124 {\an8}And that, gentlemen, 241 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,835 {\an8}is how we will suppress the Negro vote. 242 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,005 Next up, in this treasure trove of operations 243 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:40,468 we call Project GEMSTONE, Project SAPPHIRE. 244 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,386 {\an8}What if we were able to turn Democrats 245 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:45,556 {\an8}into free-flowing sources of information? 246 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,641 {\an8}- How would we do that? - Blackmail. 247 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:51,312 While the Democratic convention is in full swing in Miami, 248 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,730 we charter a yacht. 249 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,525 Downstairs in the staterooms, hookers. 250 00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,446 Behind the two-way mirror, 251 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,990 lowlight movies and still cameras. 252 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,826 We are envisioning an Oriental theme for the boat-- 253 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,620 Sorry, question. Yes. 254 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,664 So, the hookers are Oriental? 255 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:14,126 Uh, negative. The hookers will pose 256 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,253 as unfaithful DNC housewives and staffers, 257 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,547 so, ergo, Celtic-Teutonic extraction. 258 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,174 Uh, so, the hookers are German? 259 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:23,052 No. Celtic-Teutonic. You know, like my wife. 260 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,887 - Your wife's a hooker? - Jeb... 261 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:29,850 Next up, radical agitators have vowed to disrupt 262 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,353 the GOP convention in San Diego. 263 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:36,106 Project DIAMOND will temporarily decapitate the leadership 264 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:37,191 of the radical left. 265 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,693 And transport the leading hippies, yuppies, 266 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:43,072 and Weather Underground maniacs to Mexico 267 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,865 for the duration of the convention. 268 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,868 Said leaders are returned, 269 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:51,914 unharmed but disoriented, after the convention. 270 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,417 Or not, you know. A fist full of pesos 271 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:58,003 digs a pretty deep ditch in Mexico. 272 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,759 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 273 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,052 So, you're going to kill people? 274 00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,762 That was a joke. 275 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:10,474 - Yeah, but we can. - Temporary relocation. Unharmed. 276 00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:13,727 We can absolutely have them killed, that's not-- 277 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:15,604 Fine. We won't have them killed, 278 00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:19,608 because Project RUBY is already underway, 279 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,609 as we have recruited 280 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,236 covert operatives to plant inside 281 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:25,739 both the Democratic candidate's campaign and the DNC. 282 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,199 That about wraps it up. 283 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:30,244 Oh, no. Project GARNET, is a classic false flag op. 284 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:33,998 We round up Miami's seediest undesirables and outfit them 285 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,000 with all the Democrat paraphernalia 286 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,294 their filthy little hands can carry. 287 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,589 Which brings us to Project EMERALD. 288 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,133 Our high-speed chase plane electronically eavesdrops 289 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:47,428 on the enemy candidate's planes and campaign buses. 290 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:50,222 Project CRYSTAL, microwave interception 291 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,682 of telephonic conversations. 292 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,726 Project TOPAZ. 293 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:57,730 And last, but not least, Project OPAL. 294 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,816 Bugging the DNC and the candidate. 295 00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:03,777 We'll be able to intercept confidential information, 296 00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,780 and anticipate strategy, whether it's Muskie, 297 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:10,784 or if Teddy manages to steal the nomination. 298 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,621 But no matter who they run, 299 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:17,124 Project GEMSTONE will give us the strategic edge we need 300 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:19,627 to secure the president's victory. 301 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:23,547 Four more years of peace, prosperity, and strength, 302 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:28,135 all for the low, low price of one million dollars. 303 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:30,679 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 304 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,230 A million dollars is a hell of a lot more money 305 00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:43,275 - than I had in mind. - A lot more. 306 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,194 What about a half million dollars? 307 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,614 Gordon. Burn all that. 308 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,950 Don't give it to some lackey to throw into a dumpster. 309 00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:54,787 I want you to burn it in your own fireplace 310 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,246 with your own two hands. 311 00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:58,415 Yep. 312 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,630 ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 313 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,091 Want to grab a beer? 314 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,344 Yeah, sorry. I gotta go home. 315 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:40,999 You still have your writing. They can't take that from you. 316 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,253 I feel like I was given one last chance 317 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,255 and it got yanked away. 318 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,965 Mitchell was furious. 319 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:52,094 Gordon just kept going and going. It's over, Dot. 320 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,264 I'm going to be stuck at Mullen for the rest of my life. 321 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,642 On the bright side, we're done with Herr Liddy. 322 00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:00,936 Welcome home, Papa. 323 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:04,273 We're jamming at Sully's. You want to come? 324 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,191 Doesn't that sound like fun, Papa? 325 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,651 That is absolutely 326 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,738 the last thing my splitting headache needs. 327 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,366 - Good luck, kiddo. - Sure, whatever. It's fine. 328 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,618 You'll get another chance, honey. 329 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:21,039 I would love to see your band. Are you taking requests? 330 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,208 - Mom. - Yeah? 331 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,960 We're not playing MacArthur Park. 332 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,170 Come on! 333 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,507 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 334 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:39,016 Mr. Hunt! Mr. Liddy wants you to read Jack Anderson's column 335 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,559 and call him immediately. 336 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,770 Mr. Liddy can go fuck himself. 337 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,063 Good evening. 338 00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:47,608 Charges made by newspaper columnist Jack Anderson 339 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:50,444 have raised grave questions about the integrity 340 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,862 of the Nixon administration. 341 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,822 Anderson wrote today that he has evidence 342 00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:56,450 that the International Telephone and Telegraph company 343 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,786 made a secret deal with the administration 344 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:02,790 to obtain a favorable settlement of a giant antitrust suit. 345 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,126 Anderson said that a memo he obtained from ITT files 346 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,837 showed that the settlement was a payoff for a pledge 347 00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:12,508 by ITT to contribute up to 400,000 dollars 348 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,676 for the upcoming Republican National Convention 349 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:15,886 in San Diego. 350 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,348 Anderson quotes ITT's top lobbyist, Dita Beard, 351 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,642 saying she discussed arrangements for settling 352 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,727 the case with Attorney General John Mitchell 353 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,646 at a party last May. 354 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,152 - Liddy here. - It's Howard. Got your message. 355 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:35,447 Howard, thank you for, uh, calling me back. 356 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,491 Of course. I just read the paper. 357 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,076 You saw it? Hmm. 358 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:42,162 "We now have evidence that the settlement 359 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:46,375 of the Nixon Administration's biggest antitrust case 360 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:50,504 was privately arranged between Attorney General John Mitchell 361 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:53,382 and the top lobbyist for the company involved." 362 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,218 "For 400,000 dollars in hotel rooms, 363 00:18:56,218 --> 00:19:00,848 and we have this on the word of the lobbyist herself, 364 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,141 crusty, capable Dita Beard, 365 00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:05,561 the International Telephone and Telegraph Company. 366 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,772 She acknowledged the secret deal after we obtained 367 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:11,942 a highly incriminating memo, 368 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:15,028 written by her, from ITT's files." 369 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:16,822 They're going to crucify Mitchell. 370 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,534 And the president, unless we can figure out how to stop it. 371 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,369 Shit. 372 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:23,829 We've got a second chance, Howard. 373 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,539 I will call you later. 374 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:28,709 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 375 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,127 Hey, Gordo. 376 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,088 You see the papers? Dita Beard? 377 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:36,758 Jack Anderson has her memo that says Mitchell got Justice 378 00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,760 to drop an antitrust lawsuit 379 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,597 in exchange for 400,000 dollars' worth 380 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:44,850 of San Diego hotel rooms for the Republican convention? 381 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:45,934 Yeah. 382 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,607 He is accusing our boss of felony bribery. 383 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,734 If they connect this to the president... 384 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,776 Calm down, okay. 385 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,361 The White House said that the memo's a fake. 386 00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,530 It's just the usual anti-Nixon hatchet job 387 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:02,910 by the liberal press. This will blow over, trust me. 388 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,371 - ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - The Senate Judiciary Committee plans to hold a hearing tomorrow 389 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,248 on charges that the Nixon Administration 390 00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,918 made a secret deal with the International Telephone 391 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,461 and Telegraph Company. 392 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:15,756 Attorney General John Mitchell has been summoned to testify 393 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,716 and answer accusations of bribery 394 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,092 raised by the so-called 395 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,969 - Dita Beard memo. - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 396 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,305 Well, Mitchell's officially fucked. 397 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,849 But we still need to have a goddamned convention. 398 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:28,018 Yeah, well, I'm not going to hang him out to dry. 399 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,770 Jim, we are moving the convention to Miami, 400 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,230 ergo, we're not paying 401 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,440 a San Diego security firm jack shit. 402 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,775 All right, I'm gonna call him right now. 403 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,443 Okay, I'll have the president send him a bunch 404 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,778 of fucking buttons or something. 405 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,907 Oh, may I see some ID? 406 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,872 ...in which she emphatically denied... - Jeb. 407 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:53,001 Howard and I would like to talk to the attorney general and offer our support. 408 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,170 Are you two out of your fucking minds? 409 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,381 Do you think John Mitchell gives a rat's ass 410 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,174 about your bullshit pranks right now? 411 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:01,677 Mitchell doesn't want to hear from you two bozos. 412 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:05,013 The almighty United States Senate is investigating 413 00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:07,015 this ITT memo bullshit. Okay? 414 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,518 We had to move the entire convention out of San Diego 415 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,437 so there would be no reminder of Sheraton Hotels. 416 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:14,064 And the worst part, 417 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,067 is that we had 400 grand in free hotel rooms. 418 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,903 And you know who's paying for it now? I am! 419 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:24,366 Columnist Jack Anderson returned for a final day of testimony... 420 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,201 I knew this Dita Beard stuff was gonna come back 421 00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:27,411 and bite us in the ass. 422 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,289 - This is the whole reelection! - What can I do to help? 423 00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:34,126 You want to help? Go kill Jack Anderson. 424 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:39,756 - Roger that. - I mean... 425 00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:43,135 ...and for him to suggest that he didn't know 426 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,219 about the arrangements 427 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:46,304 for the convention that he's going to direct, 428 00:21:46,304 --> 00:21:49,391 uh... ...that strains the truth. 429 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,560 - And, uh... - I just talked to my guy. 430 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,645 If we don't pay, he's going to sue. 431 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:54,980 Uh, where is Gordon? 432 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,065 - He left. - Where'd he go? 433 00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,692 He said he was off to kill Jack Anderson. 434 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,111 - ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - Oh, shit. Here. 435 00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,241 Move! Goddammit, move! Move! 436 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:10,662 Gordon! Gordon! Hey! Hey! 437 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:14,916 - ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - McCord told me-- 438 00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:17,919 Are you going to shoot Jack Anderson? 439 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:25,552 When I get an order, I execute it, Jeb. 440 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,929 I was joking, you crazy bastard! 441 00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:31,308 Come on, I want to talk to you upstairs. 442 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:36,980 I am no joke. 443 00:22:38,273 --> 00:22:41,234 I am serious. Deadly serious. 444 00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:46,990 You touch me again, and I will kill you. 445 00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,751 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 446 00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:01,713 Yes, if you could have, uh, Dr. Downey call back 447 00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:03,131 as soon as possible. 448 00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,968 Well, it's about my daughter, Lisa. 449 00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:07,969 Howard. 450 00:23:07,969 --> 00:23:09,554 Yeah. Okay. Thank you. 451 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,473 I left word with the doctor. 452 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,266 - She's going to be okay. - She-- she's locked herself 453 00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:14,476 in the bathroom. 454 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,062 She won't come out. It's-- It's getting worse. 455 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,772 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 456 00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:24,778 Lisa. Open up. Your mother's getting worried. 457 00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:26,363 Maybe she fell asleep? 458 00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,073 - In the tub? - I hear something. 459 00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,616 Lisa? Sweetie? 460 00:23:29,616 --> 00:23:33,453 - Lisa, open this door right now! - Don't yell. 461 00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:36,248 - I'm not yelling! - Yelling doesn't help anything. 462 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,166 - Is Lisa gonna be okay? - Go back in your room! 463 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:41,628 Don't yell at him! Lisa, open this door right now, 464 00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:44,005 or I'm gonna break it down! Howard. Howard! 465 00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:45,841 Go answer that. 466 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,592 It might be the doctor. 467 00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:52,722 What a nightmare. Lisa, please. Lisa. 468 00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:01,356 - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - Hunt residence. 469 00:24:01,356 --> 00:24:03,191 - COLSON'S SECRETARY: Howard Hunt, please? - Speaking. 470 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:05,485 COLSON'S SECRETARY: I have Charles Colson calling from the White House. 471 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:07,654 - Put him through. - COLSON'S SECRETARY: Hold, please. 472 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:11,658 Howard! - Mm. 473 00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:13,827 Chuck! How the hell are you? 474 00:24:13,827 --> 00:24:16,955 Doing good, and you? - Oh, fine and dandy. 475 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:21,877 Just a typical Saturday with the family. 476 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,378 Howard, there's been a development 477 00:24:23,378 --> 00:24:24,963 with the Dita Beard situation. 478 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:26,381 Sweetie? Lisa. 479 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,259 Sis? Come on. Open up. Please? 480 00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:31,303 What did the doctor say? 481 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,847 That was Colson. I'm needed at the White House. 482 00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:35,599 No. You're needed here. 483 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,142 Your family needs you. 484 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,394 Your daughter needs you. I need you! 485 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:42,856 I don't know what to do with this. 486 00:24:42,856 --> 00:24:46,651 She won't come out. Everything I do is wrong. 487 00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:47,861 What do you want from me? 488 00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:50,280 How about for once you make us feel like we matter 489 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,117 more than your stupid job or the stupid White House? 490 00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:56,286 That you give a damn about your family? 491 00:24:57,412 --> 00:25:00,665 Lisa. Lisa, please, honey. Come on. 492 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,294 Sweetie? 493 00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:12,761 What the fuck! Lisa? 494 00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:15,931 She's fine. I care. I'm going to work. 495 00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:18,850 - Honey. - Hi, Mama. 496 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,644 - My God. - ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 497 00:25:28,735 --> 00:25:29,778 Sorry. 498 00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:35,283 Gentlemen. The White House's experts say the Dita Beard memo 499 00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:36,326 is a problem. 500 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,995 But if we can keep Beard from testifying, 501 00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:41,373 the case against Mitchell will collapse. 502 00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:43,833 Uh, I'm sorry. Sorry. So what do you need us for? 503 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:48,672 Because the Senate deposes Beard tomorrow... 504 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:51,800 and if she testifies that she did write it, 505 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,094 her testimony will be on the record, then the... 506 00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:58,098 that's enough for the Senate to keep digging. 507 00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,724 And why would she do that? 508 00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:02,227 - Jesus Christ. - That's why Colson wants us 509 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,896 to get her out of town and shut her up. 510 00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:08,024 That would certainly be fortunate. 511 00:26:08,024 --> 00:26:11,361 Gentlemen. Who knows? You may even impress Mr. Mitchell. 512 00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,950 You know what we could do which would solve this problem-- 513 00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:20,495 Please, Gordon, do not say, "Kill her." 514 00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:27,335 A dead dog chases no cars. 515 00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:32,882 The murder of the Senate's lead witness 516 00:26:32,882 --> 00:26:37,345 would not lessen Mitchell's legal scrutiny. 517 00:26:37,345 --> 00:26:41,016 Fine. But solving this would put us 518 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,184 in Mitchell's good graces. 519 00:26:43,184 --> 00:26:47,230 Yeah. That is going to take some finesse. 520 00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:48,773 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 521 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,090 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 522 00:27:22,098 --> 00:27:23,475 Who the fuck are you? 523 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,811 Mrs. Beard, my name is George F. Leonard, 524 00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:28,104 and I am an attorney. 525 00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:32,359 Bullshit! You look like one of those Manson family freaks. 526 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,821 I apologize for the late hour and the disguise, 527 00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:40,742 but I suspect you are under FBI surveillance. 528 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:46,873 What do you want? 529 00:27:46,873 --> 00:27:50,251 I'm here to offer you some free legal advice. 530 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,139 Hmm. How many kids do you have? 531 00:28:03,139 --> 00:28:04,432 Five. - Oh? 532 00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:07,602 All grown or in military school. 533 00:28:07,602 --> 00:28:10,438 Outstanding. I have five myself. 534 00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:12,565 So, George, 535 00:28:12,565 --> 00:28:16,194 you said you had friends at the White House? 536 00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:18,988 Affirmative. 537 00:28:18,988 --> 00:28:23,201 Well, some fair-haired fucker over there is spreading rumors 538 00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:26,121 that Jack Anderson and I are homosexuals, 539 00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:30,917 that we're in cahoots on some sort of lesbo-homo plot 540 00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:33,461 against Nixon. 541 00:28:33,461 --> 00:28:36,381 I can assure you, I know nothing about that. 542 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:37,966 Neither homo nor lesbo. 543 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:40,343 Do I look like a lesbian? 544 00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:42,804 No, ma'am. You seem straight as I am. 545 00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:46,307 They're making me a pariah! My own party! 546 00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:48,476 I am in some goddamn pickle! 547 00:28:48,476 --> 00:28:52,188 You're not wrong. You could go to jail. 548 00:28:52,188 --> 00:28:56,401 Thanks for the pick-me-up, fella. Shit on a shingle. 549 00:28:56,401 --> 00:29:01,948 But... here's the good news, you can avoid being deposed, 550 00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:05,743 with no legal repercussions. Just abracadabra, 551 00:29:05,743 --> 00:29:10,540 - it all goes away. - But I did write the memo. 552 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:14,419 And I told Anderson I wrote the memo. 553 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,046 They're grilling me first thing in the morning. 554 00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:22,969 Do you have any, um, medical conditions? 555 00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:25,889 I'm a very physical woman, George. 556 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:31,978 Hiking, camping, snowmobiling... fucking. 557 00:29:34,397 --> 00:29:38,109 I meant, like... cancer in the family? 558 00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,820 - I wish. - Psychiatric problems? 559 00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:43,781 - Oh, hell no. - Fainting spells? 560 00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:46,326 George, I am as healthy as a horse, 561 00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:48,536 except for the occasional angina. 562 00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:55,627 What is angina? 563 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:56,878 Coming through! 564 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:59,422 Rocky Mountain is the finest osteopathic hospital 565 00:29:59,422 --> 00:30:01,508 in the greater Denver Metropolitan Area. 566 00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:04,135 Osteopath? You may as well take her to a veterinarian. 567 00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:06,346 And you're on oxygen! Why are you... 568 00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:08,389 Edwina, you are raising my blood pressure! 569 00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:14,312 Hold the door! Hold the door! 570 00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:16,481 Dita Beard experienced chest pains 571 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:17,649 while flying into Denver 572 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,984 and had to receive oxygen on the flight. 573 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:23,154 Mrs. Beard was admitted to an area hospital 574 00:30:23,154 --> 00:30:24,614 in a serious condition. 575 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:26,783 As for Dita Beard getting out of bed 576 00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:29,202 to come back to Washington, not now, 577 00:30:29,202 --> 00:30:32,413 and not for some time yet, doctor's orders. 578 00:30:38,044 --> 00:30:39,921 We've got a problem, Howard. 579 00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,673 - A Dita Beard problem. - ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 580 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:43,675 A team of senators is heading to Colorado 581 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,385 to depose her in two days, 582 00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:47,679 including your good friend, Teddy Kennedy. 583 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:49,597 That fat-headed booze bag. 584 00:30:49,597 --> 00:30:51,849 They should depose him about Chappaquiddick. 585 00:30:51,849 --> 00:30:53,601 If there were any justice in the world. 586 00:30:53,601 --> 00:30:55,353 You know, it wouldn't be the worst thing for Beard 587 00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:58,398 to actually have a heart attack, right as Kennedy's grilling her. 588 00:30:58,398 --> 00:30:59,482 Then you could say, 589 00:30:59,482 --> 00:31:01,734 "Senator, now, you've killed two women!" 590 00:31:03,736 --> 00:31:06,906 Howard, this Beard thing keeps escalating. 591 00:31:06,906 --> 00:31:11,202 I know. What if Beard herself were to question 592 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:13,871 the memo's authenticity? 593 00:31:13,871 --> 00:31:15,832 Hypothetically, how much in the way 594 00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:18,793 of funds could someone access for the purposes 595 00:31:18,793 --> 00:31:21,546 - of such an endeavor? - No. No, no, no. 596 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:24,465 There is no way I or anyone at the committee would authorize 597 00:31:24,465 --> 00:31:28,386 funds to influence the testimony of a witness in a federal case. 598 00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:30,805 What about ITT? 599 00:31:30,805 --> 00:31:32,348 She's still on the payroll. 600 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,187 Say no more. I know what to do. 601 00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:41,691 I feel the need to say this again, Howard. 602 00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:42,942 For the record, 603 00:31:42,942 --> 00:31:46,112 I am not even suggesting that you do anything. 604 00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:49,782 Roger that. 605 00:31:49,782 --> 00:31:52,577 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 606 00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:04,047 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 607 00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,841 Aw, I don't want to read this shit. 608 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:09,761 I want something with small words 609 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:12,680 and big pictures. Cosmo. 610 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,183 Okay. 611 00:32:15,183 --> 00:32:17,685 It better be the red fucking Jell-O this time! 612 00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:26,152 - Mrs. Beard. Edwina. - Who are you? 613 00:32:26,152 --> 00:32:29,822 My name is Edward J. Hamilton, I represent men 614 00:32:29,822 --> 00:32:32,325 at the highest levels in Washington D.C. 615 00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:36,162 Yeah, Mr. Leonard said you might come by. 616 00:32:36,162 --> 00:32:39,248 - Edwina, run along, huh? - Okay. 617 00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:46,130 Why are you wearing a wig? It's not even on right. 618 00:32:46,130 --> 00:32:47,799 I assure you, Miss, 619 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,468 nothing I do is accidental. 620 00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:55,264 Well, that's her drinking water. 621 00:32:55,264 --> 00:32:58,893 Oh, I know. Edwina! Scoot! 622 00:32:58,893 --> 00:33:01,104 I'll be right outside, Mother. 623 00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:06,109 - Hmm. - How are the osteopaths treating you? 624 00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:10,321 I've been in a pig farm that's cleaner. 625 00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:13,199 I wouldn't trust them to clip my toenails, 626 00:33:13,199 --> 00:33:17,286 let alone... ...treat a heart condition. 627 00:33:17,286 --> 00:33:19,997 - Hmm. - You got a smoke? 628 00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:27,505 Yeah. I guess the, uh... 629 00:33:27,505 --> 00:33:28,840 ...the party's over, huh? 630 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,759 Sounds like the whole goddamn Senate is coming to visit. 631 00:33:32,176 --> 00:33:33,386 I'm sorry. 632 00:33:34,637 --> 00:33:35,722 Hold on. 633 00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:39,809 There's nothing those Senators want more 634 00:33:39,809 --> 00:33:43,730 than for you to declare that memo a fraud 635 00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:47,024 so that they can go back to business as usual. 636 00:33:47,024 --> 00:33:49,402 - Bullshit. - Listen. 637 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:56,909 I have worked in countries across the globe, 638 00:33:56,909 --> 00:34:01,998 I've met presidents, kings, dictators, 639 00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:05,960 and they all desperately need one thing 640 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,672 to keep them in power. Money. 641 00:34:11,132 --> 00:34:13,301 How many of those Senate fat cats 642 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:15,678 have been greased by lobbyists? 643 00:34:15,678 --> 00:34:18,181 All of them. Believe me. 644 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:20,141 I know. I do the greasing. 645 00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,477 So these are your choices. 646 00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:24,812 You can tell the Senators tomorrow 647 00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:28,566 what you told Britt Hume and Jack Anderson. 648 00:34:29,609 --> 00:34:32,779 And you know who benefits? Not your party. 649 00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:36,741 Not your president. Not the Senate. 650 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:40,077 Not your country. Not your family. 651 00:34:40,077 --> 00:34:42,246 And certainly not you. 652 00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:45,374 Because you still go to jail for bribery. 653 00:34:45,374 --> 00:34:46,542 And for what? 654 00:34:46,542 --> 00:34:50,671 To make the journalists and Democrats happy? 655 00:34:50,671 --> 00:34:53,883 Donkey fuckers. 656 00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:56,511 Donkey fuckers, indeed. 657 00:34:56,511 --> 00:35:01,933 On the other hand, if you stick with the White House's story... 658 00:35:03,142 --> 00:35:06,062 and you stay loyal to your party. 659 00:35:06,062 --> 00:35:10,525 There's a very good chance that you walk away scot-free, 660 00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:15,780 and sparing your family the embarrassing 661 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:19,826 public spectacle of a lengthy investigation. 662 00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:24,831 Yeah, Edwina... Edwina is just wrecked by this. 663 00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:28,459 And she works for the fucking RNC. 664 00:35:28,459 --> 00:35:29,669 Poor kid. 665 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,298 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 666 00:35:34,298 --> 00:35:38,010 I can see... how much you love her. 667 00:35:38,010 --> 00:35:41,722 Fuck yes. She's my baby girl. 668 00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:44,308 She needs you right now. 669 00:35:45,518 --> 00:35:47,353 She needs to know... 670 00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:52,817 that she's the most important thing in your world. 671 00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:57,154 More important than ITT or anything else. 672 00:35:57,947 --> 00:35:59,866 Because she's your family, 673 00:36:00,783 --> 00:36:05,037 and family always comes first. 674 00:36:05,037 --> 00:36:08,499 - Oh, yeah. - Before work. 675 00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:11,460 Before country. 676 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,339 Before everything. 677 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:31,898 And I'm willing to bet... 678 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:36,277 that your ITT family... 679 00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:40,448 rewards loyalty... 680 00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:45,244 especially around Christmas. 681 00:36:46,579 --> 00:36:47,663 In the meantime... 682 00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:50,625 here's a stocking stuffer. 683 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,714 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 684 00:37:03,095 --> 00:37:05,348 ♪ (CLASSIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 685 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:07,058 Edwina! 686 00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:24,325 ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 687 00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:25,868 Please state your name. 688 00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:28,746 Dita Beard. A lobbyist for ITT. 689 00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:30,998 We are on the record. - ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 690 00:37:30,998 --> 00:37:33,876 Mrs. Beard, do you recognize this document? 691 00:37:47,264 --> 00:37:49,517 I do not. 692 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:55,147 {\an8}Mrs. Beard, is this not your signed memo 693 00:37:55,147 --> 00:37:59,110 regarding ITT's bribery of the Nixon Administration? 694 00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:02,738 That is certainly what it says. But I didn't write it. 695 00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:07,201 No, that is a goddamn forgery. That is not even my signature. 696 00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:10,997 Mrs. Beard, may I remind you, you are under oath? 697 00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:16,711 I was not even in the offi-- Oh, God-- Oh, honey! 698 00:38:16,711 --> 00:38:18,212 Mrs. Beard-- Edwina! 699 00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:20,131 I'm here, Mama! 700 00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:21,340 Mrs. Beard, is this your-- 701 00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:23,009 - I can't breathe! - Stop it, stop it! 702 00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:25,094 That's enough! Everyone out! 703 00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:26,887 - Oh, help. Help me! - Get out! 704 00:38:26,887 --> 00:38:29,306 - Someone get the doctor! - Oh, my God! I can't breathe. 705 00:38:29,306 --> 00:38:31,225 I can't breathe. 706 00:38:31,225 --> 00:38:34,311 Doctor! Doctor! 707 00:38:35,312 --> 00:38:37,481 Doctor! I can't breathe. 708 00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:39,525 Go away! Go away! 709 00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:41,444 Once. Shit! 710 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:43,779 - Very nice, Lisa. - Thank you. 711 00:38:43,779 --> 00:38:46,532 ...testifying from her Denver hospital bedside 712 00:38:46,532 --> 00:38:48,284 in front of the Senate subcommittee members... - Four. 713 00:38:48,284 --> 00:38:51,370 Very nice. Lisa, honey, did you remember to-- 714 00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:53,497 Yes, Mother. I took my pill. 715 00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:57,293 Thank you. 716 00:38:57,293 --> 00:39:02,423 Coming in for the kill. B-E-D. Bed. 717 00:39:02,423 --> 00:39:04,967 Anderson and his associate, Brit Hume, 718 00:39:04,967 --> 00:39:08,596 believe somebody persuaded Mrs. Beard to change her story 719 00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:09,764 in Denver... 720 00:39:12,224 --> 00:39:13,559 Bonsoir, bonsoir. 721 00:39:13,559 --> 00:39:16,270 - Hi, Papa. Where were you? - Denver. 722 00:39:17,563 --> 00:39:19,023 Do you wanna play with us? 723 00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:22,610 Yeah, Papa? 724 00:39:27,281 --> 00:39:28,324 Sure. 725 00:39:29,909 --> 00:39:31,452 Make room for Papa. 726 00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:37,666 Mama. Your turn. Hmm? 727 00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:44,173 Uh, D-O-N-E. Done. 728 00:39:44,173 --> 00:39:47,384 Us are useless without Qs. 729 00:39:47,384 --> 00:39:50,346 Actually, it's the other way around. 730 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:52,807 Touché. Ooh. 731 00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:58,145 Xerox. 732 00:39:58,145 --> 00:40:00,022 That's a proper noun. 733 00:40:00,022 --> 00:40:02,316 - What is? - Xerox. 734 00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:05,444 No, it's become just a regular word. 735 00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:09,698 I mean, nobody says, "Hey, can you photocopy this?" 736 00:40:09,698 --> 00:40:11,951 It-- it's still a proper noun. Mama. 737 00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:15,204 We're just playing for fun. 738 00:40:15,204 --> 00:40:18,332 We're not keeping s-- score. 739 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:23,295 What's the point of playing a game with no rules. Right? 740 00:40:23,295 --> 00:40:27,216 - Then it's just anarchy. - Actually, Papa, 741 00:40:27,216 --> 00:40:29,176 - this is anarchy! - ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 742 00:40:29,176 --> 00:40:31,053 Fuck your college education. 743 00:40:31,804 --> 00:40:32,972 Howard. 744 00:40:35,015 --> 00:40:37,685 - That was unacceptable. - I agree. 745 00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:40,980 Bravo! Bravo, gentlemen! Thanks. 746 00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:43,190 Bravo! Have a seat right there! 747 00:40:43,190 --> 00:40:44,191 We, uh... 748 00:40:44,191 --> 00:40:45,526 ...we thought you might like to know, 749 00:40:45,526 --> 00:40:47,319 our sources tell us that the Senate 750 00:40:47,319 --> 00:40:49,238 has denied Ted Kennedy's request 751 00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:51,323 for further hearings, thanks to you. 752 00:40:51,323 --> 00:40:53,409 Oh, no. Thanks to him. 753 00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:56,287 - Oh. - I'm still not quite sure how he pulled it off, though. 754 00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,873 It-- It was a team effort. 755 00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:02,042 I assume you guys heard the news about Mr. Hoover this morning? 756 00:41:02,042 --> 00:41:04,461 We sent our condolences to the Widow Tolson. 757 00:41:05,754 --> 00:41:06,922 The Good Lord finally did 758 00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:09,049 what the last five presidents never could. 759 00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,553 Oh! 760 00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:18,893 Congratulations, gentlemen. Great work on helping Ms. Beard 761 00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,729 - get her facts straight. - Our pleasure, sir. 762 00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:26,692 Oh, by the way, Project GEMSTONE has been approved. 763 00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:32,656 I want you two to put together your team ASAP. 764 00:41:32,656 --> 00:41:34,658 Uh, that's-- that's my cue. 765 00:41:34,658 --> 00:41:36,035 - Uh, nice work. Nice work. - Oh, yeah. 766 00:41:36,035 --> 00:41:37,286 Thank you. All right, 767 00:41:37,286 --> 00:41:39,788 I want you two to huddle with McCord 768 00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:42,041 and tell me what you're going to need, all right? 769 00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:45,127 McCord? What are we doing with McCord? 770 00:41:45,127 --> 00:41:46,754 He's head of security for the committee 771 00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:48,088 and Mitchell thought he could be useful. 772 00:41:48,088 --> 00:41:51,509 What? Mitchell fired him! He was Martha's babysitter! 773 00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:54,428 I know. He's also a whiz with gizmos, bugs, 774 00:41:54,428 --> 00:41:58,766 and electronic surveillance, ex-CIA and ex-FBI, 775 00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:00,935 so he's the perfect playmate for you two. 776 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:03,812 And we can afford him, because he's already on the payroll. 777 00:42:03,812 --> 00:42:04,855 Don't you get it? 778 00:42:04,855 --> 00:42:07,107 We need operatives who are off the payroll. 779 00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:08,525 Plausible deniability. 780 00:42:08,525 --> 00:42:10,402 - It-- It's fine. - No. 781 00:42:10,402 --> 00:42:11,862 We'll have McCord wire the yacht. 782 00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:14,782 Oh, about that. Uh, there is no yacht. 783 00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:17,618 - What? - And no hookers, sadly. 784 00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:20,412 Those hookers were looking forward to it. 785 00:42:20,412 --> 00:42:23,916 I know, but only one GEMSTONE was approved 786 00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:26,252 and your new operating budget is 250 thou, 787 00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:28,087 which should be more than ample. 788 00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:30,464 Goddammit, Jeb, that's a quarter of what we were promised! 789 00:42:30,464 --> 00:42:31,924 Easy. Hold on. 790 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:34,093 Which gemstone was approved? 791 00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:35,594 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 792 00:42:35,594 --> 00:42:40,808 Project fucking OPAL. Out of 12 gemstones, 793 00:42:40,808 --> 00:42:45,312 they pick the bugging of the DNC. Where's the vision? 794 00:42:46,105 --> 00:42:48,357 It is the cheapest. 795 00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:50,609 And you're still gonna need to pay me, Gordon. 796 00:42:50,609 --> 00:42:51,902 Not now, Jim. 797 00:42:51,902 --> 00:42:54,655 That's a really big fucking building, boss. 798 00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:56,031 I heard the hotel is nice. 799 00:42:56,031 --> 00:43:00,786 Don't worry. Villo can pick any lock in there. Right, Villo? 800 00:43:00,786 --> 00:43:01,996 Qué? Qué? 801 00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:03,622 What the fuck are we doing staring at this building? 802 00:43:03,622 --> 00:43:06,000 Some of us are six hours overdue for pussy. 803 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,835 - Adiós. - Oh, Frank. 804 00:43:07,835 --> 00:43:10,296 Gentlemen. Frank! Forget Frank. 805 00:43:10,296 --> 00:43:15,301 Gentlemen, we are going to do great things for this country. 806 00:43:15,301 --> 00:43:20,097 Can I ask a question? I'll say. Which one is the Watergate? 807 00:43:23,559 --> 00:43:25,602 It's right there. That's it. - The condominium. 808 00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:30,983 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ I know, but it's my first time here, boss! 809 00:43:30,983 --> 00:43:34,778 ♪ ("LET IT ALL HANG OUT" BY THE HOMBRES PLAYING) ♪ 810 00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:43,203 ♪ No parkin' by the sewer sign Hot dog, my razor's broke ♪ 811 00:43:43,203 --> 00:43:44,663 ♪ Water drippin' up the spout ♪ 812 00:43:44,663 --> 00:43:47,333 ♪ But I don't care Let it all hang out ♪ 813 00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:53,964 ♪ Hangin' from a pine tree By my knees ♪ 814 00:43:53,964 --> 00:43:55,758 ♪ Sun is shinin' Through the shade ♪ 815 00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:57,968 ♪ Nobody knows What it's all about ♪ 816 00:43:57,968 --> 00:44:00,554 ♪ It's too much, man Let it all hang out ♪ 817 00:44:19,031 --> 00:44:22,868 ♪ Saw a man walkin' upside down My TV's on the blink ♪ 818 00:44:22,868 --> 00:44:25,287 ♪ Made Galileo Look like a Boy Scout ♪ 819 00:44:25,287 --> 00:44:27,831 ♪ Sorry 'bout that Let it all hang out ♪ 820 00:44:32,878 --> 00:44:37,883 ♪ Sleep all day, drive all night Brain my numb, can't stop now ♪ 821 00:44:37,883 --> 00:44:39,343 ♪ For sure ain't no doubt ♪ 822 00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,012 ♪ Keep an open mind Let it all hang out ♪ 823 00:45:04,326 --> 00:45:06,662 ♪ It's rainin' Inside a big brown moon ♪ 824 00:45:06,662 --> 00:45:08,956 ♪ How does that mess Your baby up, leg ♪ 825 00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:11,333 ♪ Eatin' a Reuben sandwich With sauerkraut ♪ 826 00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:14,211 ♪ Don't stop now, baby Let it all hang out ♪ 827 00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:20,259 ♪ Let it all hang out ♪ 828 00:45:22,511 --> 00:45:24,304 ♪ Let it all hang out ♪ 829 00:45:26,473 --> 00:45:27,850 ♪ Let it all hang out ♪ 830 00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:29,935 ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪