1
00:00:11,916 --> 00:00:16,250
[鸟鸣声]

2
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,541
[啪]

3
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:19,958
[拖鞋掉落特效声]

4
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:22,666
[小疯映画主题音乐]

5
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:32,125
[单集片名主题音乐]

6
00:00:33,916 --> 00:00:35,916
[欢快的音乐]

7
00:00:38,541 --> 00:00:42,541
[普通刺客] 虽然抽奖没中
但你不要说粗话嘛

8
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:47,541
-[轻快的音乐]
-[便利店广告声]

9
00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:51,958
你又偷吃 牛肉丸还没煮熟呢

10
00:00:52,041 --> 00:00:55,041
哎 不干不净 吃了没病啊

11
00:00:55,583 --> 00:00:57,250
[大口喝椰汁声]

12
00:00:57,333 --> 00:00:58,666
[大舒一口气]

13
00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:02,791
那天晚上 杀死了赤牙

14
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:04,375
-是那个赤牙？
-[伍六七] 来碗猪肉丸

15
00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,000
-就是他
-嗯？哎？

16
00:01:06,916 --> 00:01:09,000
-嗨
-[春风一郎和普通刺客尖叫逃跑声]

17
00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:11,708
[轻柔的音乐]

18
00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:16,208
-你说 真的是伍六七杀死了赤牙吗？
-[煮牛肉丸声]

19
00:01:16,291 --> 00:01:19,666
[春风一郎] 那个理发师
战斗力跟我差不多啊

20
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,916
怎么可能打得赢暗影刺客？

21
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:22,833
一定是在演戏

22
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,666
其实来便利店工作之前

23
00:01:26,208 --> 00:01:27,958
我去他那里剪过头发

24
00:01:29,583 --> 00:01:31,583
[温馨的音乐]

25
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,291
[闪亮音效]

26
00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:39,083
-[开门铃铛响]
-[拍打声]

27
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:43,083
[普通刺客] 老板 那个…
我…我想剪个头发

28
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:44,708
想剪什么发型啊？

29
00:01:45,625 --> 00:01:48,333
可是看他的样子
平平无奇 没什么特别的

30
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:51,208
[内心独白]
那天与我决战公厕的男人？

31
00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:54,208
你应该是这个动画
唯一一个会穿成这样的刺客吧？

32
00:01:54,708 --> 00:01:56,916
你以气御剪这么厉害

33
00:01:57,416 --> 00:01:59,125
怎么会在这里剪头发的？

34
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,791
因为我喜欢给人剪头发啊

35
00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:08,041
可是你都没有什么生意

36
00:02:08,958 --> 00:02:10,500
我还会接一些任务的

37
00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:13,583
[电话铃响]

38
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:14,833
喂 大保

39
00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:17,458
-阿七啊！小学生都快放学了
-[小学生吵闹声]

40
00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:19,000
怎么还不过来卖牛杂呀？

41
00:02:19,083 --> 00:02:21,875
因为刚刚来了个普通黑衣人要剪头发

42
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,125
[鸡大保大喊] 剪头发
哪有小朋友的钱好赚哪？

43
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,458
再不过来 小朋友全都跑去喝奶茶了

44
00:02:29,541 --> 00:02:31,666
-啊好好好 我剪完这个马上过来
-[响起轻柔的音乐]

45
00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:34,500
[普通刺客内心独白]
原来他说的任务就是卖牛杂呀

46
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:36,875
怎么他还这么开心啊？

47
00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:41,250
[普通刺客] 你之前说

48
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:46,458
我应该是这个动画
唯一一个打扮成这样的人

49
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,291
是真的吗？

50
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,625
这件事 真的有那么重要吗？

51
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,083
-那个谁 两根雪条
-[便利店广告声]

52
00:02:57,166 --> 00:02:58,625
[轻快的音乐]

53
00:02:58,708 --> 00:03:00,958
需要加两块换购椰汁吗？

54
00:03:01,041 --> 00:03:02,416
还可以抽奖哦

55
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,041
[小龙] 不要 抽奖都是骗小孩的

56
00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:07,541
[普通刺客] 好 收你五块钱

57
00:03:09,541 --> 00:03:11,875
-抽奖 不是骗人的哇
-[敲打键盘声]

58
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,916
-只是我们普通人没那个运气
-[呻吟声]

59
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,000
没有被选中

60
00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:16,208
肚子痛…

61
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:18,458
-叫你不要偷吃牛肉丸啦
-[惨叫声]

62
00:03:18,541 --> 00:03:22,375
我…我去上个厕所
便利店就交给你了

63
00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:25,875
[恐怖的音效]

64
00:03:25,958 --> 00:03:28,666
[片头曲响起]

65
00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:32,583
[内心独白] 现在没什么客人

66
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:34,333
不如…

67
00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:37,500
-[练功音乐响起]
-刀法练习

68
00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:40,125
第一节 伸展运动

69
00:04:40,791 --> 00:04:45,666
-一二三四 二二三四
-[食物夹子声]

70
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,541
三二三四

71
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:51,166
-[便利店迎客音乐]
-[雷鸣]

72
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:56,708
-[普通刺客练习声]
-[雷鸣]

73
00:04:56,791 --> 00:04:58,833
[男子] 打劫 把钱都拿出来

74
00:05:00,708 --> 00:05:04,458
[热血的音乐]

75
00:05:04,541 --> 00:05:06,541
竟敢在我的地盘打劫

76
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:08,541
你是瞧不起我！

77
00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:10,708
-[劫匪] 给你两巴掌看看 呃
-[普通刺客] 哎呀

78
00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:14,458
打扮成这样 还以为是同行呢

79
00:05:14,541 --> 00:05:17,916
[响起凄凉的音乐]

80
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,833
[内心独白] 我怎么可能是唯一啊

81
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,708
[电影卷轴转动声持续]

82
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,416
-[扔掷声]
-[砸头声]

83
00:05:30,791 --> 00:05:31,875
[书生惊诧声]

84
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:36,333
-[踢打声]
-[小普通刺客连连哀叫声]

85
00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,666
[劫匪] 喂 起来给我煮个车仔面

86
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,416
[内心独白] 流鼻血了

87
00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:45,708
还是不要逞英雄了

88
00:05:45,791 --> 00:05:48,583
单挑打不过 那就叫帮拖

89
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:52,166
嗯？唉？我手机呢？

90
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,791
[劫匪] 你是刺客啊？

91
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,291
-你的排名也太低了吧
-[失望的降调音效]

92
00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:59,041
你这个菜鸡

93
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,791
是不是想打电话摇人啊？

94
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,000
手机没收了

95
00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:07,041
而且外面在下雨 没有人会来的

96
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,541
[响起欢乐的音乐]

97
00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:16,291
[劫匪] 大礼国七天乐？
液晶大电视？

98
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:19,000
喂！我也要抽奖

99
00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:21,541
[语气坚决] 店长说
买椰汁才能抽奖的

100
00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:23,000
[认怂语气] 店长说有枪也可以抽

101
00:06:29,916 --> 00:06:32,500
“谢谢惠顾”是什么意思啊？

102
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:36,166
就是没有中奖 谢谢参与的意思吧

103
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:38,250
[劫匪] 哼 谁要你的谢谢啊

104
00:06:38,916 --> 00:06:40,250
我要奖品

105
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:43,166
你也和我一起刮 中奖了算我的

106
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:46,541
[正义的语气]
我身为店员是绝对不会…

107
00:06:46,625 --> 00:06:47,958
[认怂] 拒绝这位客人的要求的

108
00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:50,208
我刮

109
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:53,291
[刮奖声]

110
00:06:53,875 --> 00:06:55,208
[生气的语气] 又是谢谢惠顾

111
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:57,208
再给我两张卡

112
00:06:58,416 --> 00:07:02,208
没有卡了 你已经全部刮完了

113
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:03,291
[锣鼓声]

114
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:04,291
[揉纸声]

115
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,875
一个都没中

116
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:10,166
垃圾抽奖 果然是骗人的

117
00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:13,583
[劫匪] 快给我煮个车仔面啊
吃完走人啦

118
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,500
-[富有节奏感的音乐]
-[乱翻东西声]

119
00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:17,916
[普通刺客] 你要加什么酱呀？

120
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:19,708
[劫匪] 番茄

121
00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:25,750
[夸张的旋律]

122
00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:28,583
[内心独白]
趁他被辣到的时候 偷袭他

123
00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:35,875
[节奏越来越紧张]

124
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:40,250
[普通刺客] 哎呀

125
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:55,333
喂 我明明要的是番茄酱啊

126
00:07:55,916 --> 00:07:59,166
[劫匪] 煮个面都煮不好 真是个废物

127
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:01,541
我是店长就把你开了

128
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,125
[诡秘的旋律]

129
00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:06,083
就趁现在

130
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:08,416
[激昂的旋律]

131
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,166
哈！

132
00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:19,625
[普通刺客] 闭路电视
已经拍到你的脸了！

133
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:20,791
[夹子抖动声]

134
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,791
你是逃不出小鸡岛的！

135
00:08:24,791 --> 00:08:27,666
[喘气] 放下钱 自首吧

136
00:08:30,041 --> 00:08:31,750
-真烦人
-[诡秘的音乐]

137
00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,666
既然看到我的脸

138
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,416
那就不能让你活下去了

139
00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:43,041
[连续碎裂声]

140
00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:45,416
[狗吠声]

141
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,666
-[劫匪] 躲起来了
-[雷鸣]

142
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,000
听到枪声怕了吧？

143
00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:53,791
大家都是普通人

144
00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:56,041
混口饭吃而已

145
00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:59,500
-[劫匪] 当没事发生就好啦
-[雷鸣]

146
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:01,833
装什么英雄啊

147
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,916
[雷轰隆声]

148
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,291
[劫匪] 反正我们都不是
被选中的人啊

149
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:09,125
[响起悲伤的音乐]

150
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:10,541
[劫匪] 认命吧

151
00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:14,708
刺客任务只许成功 不许失败

152
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,125
当然是越厉害越好

153
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:19,625
像他这种 连接任务的资格都没有

154
00:09:19,708 --> 00:09:22,208
[其他刺客大笑声]

155
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:30,416
[内心独白] 其实我做刺客以来

156
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,000
根本没有接到过任务

157
00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,250
所以看到便利店的广告

158
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:37,000
-就做起了兼职
-[海鸥叫声]

159
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:46,541
谢谢惠顾 欢迎下次光临

160
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,541
[普通刺客] 好普通啊

161
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,625
快要变成便利店店员了

162
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:04,500
[轻柔的音乐]

163
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,166
[小普通刺客] 我很普通吧

164
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,250
[轻柔的钢琴乐]

165
00:10:53,791 --> 00:10:54,958
[叹气声]

166
00:10:55,541 --> 00:10:57,208
[内心独白] 是不是被选中的人

167
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,666
其实也不是那么重要吧

168
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:06,791
[响起主题曲《空白》]

169
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,833
[普通刺客呐喊]
不许你小看普通刺客

170
00:11:09,916 --> 00:11:11,666
终于肯出来了吗？

171
00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,916
-[强光打亮声]
-啊！好刺眼啊

172
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,541
[大喊] 我要打爆你的头

173
00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:17,708
[物品碎裂声]

174
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:23,416
[劫匪] 人呢？

175
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:26,500
♪ 黑色城市黄灯光 ♪

176
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:29,458
♪ 流星忘记了愿望 ♪

177
00:11:30,375 --> 00:11:31,916
-[普通刺客呐喊]
-[劫匪惊叫声]

178
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:34,916
[普通刺客] 哎呀

179
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:35,833
[劫匪] 偷袭

180
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,625
[普通刺客发力声]

181
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:39,750
[劫匪叫声]

182
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:41,875
[劫匪努力挣脱声]

183
00:11:41,958 --> 00:11:42,958
[劫匪发力声]

184
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,250
[普通刺客] 啊！

185
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,291
-[劫匪发力声]
-[普通刺客反抗声]

186
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:47,416
[布料撕扯声]

187
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,208
[劫匪] 放手啊 废人 哼！

188
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:54,375
[劫匪脚步声]

189
00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:57,833
-[普通刺客发力声]
-[劫匪挣扎声]

190
00:11:57,916 --> 00:11:59,666
这些钱关你屁事啊

191
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,375
你不就是个店员吗？

192
00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:02,541
[普通刺客用力声]

193
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:05,083
啊！

194
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:08,916
不许你小看便利店店员啊！

195
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,500
-[普通刺客发力声]
-[劫匪尖叫声]

196
00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:18,083
[劫匪使劲挣扎声]

197
00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:20,208
[劫匪] 泰山压顶！

198
00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:22,125
[普通刺客惨叫声 吐白沫声]

199
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,666
[劫匪喘粗气声]

200
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:30,541
[劫匪] 我才是那个中奖的人啊 垃圾

201
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,166
♪ 各带伤疤 ♪

202
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:36,250
♪ 离开才明白 ♪

203
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,958
[回忆出现音效]

204
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:42,125
就是没有中奖 谢谢参与的意思吧

205
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:45,583
这件事 真的有那么重要吗？

206
00:12:45,666 --> 00:12:49,250
[小书生] 没有打败 也没关系啊

207
00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:52,291
因为我喜欢给人剪头发啊

208
00:12:57,666 --> 00:13:00,208
[普通刺客努力声]

209
00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:12,875
[便利店迎客音乐]

210
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,291
[滴水声]

211
00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:17,250
我…

212
00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:19,291
我忘记带伞了

213
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:25,208
[播放片尾曲]

214
00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:26,875
-[普通刺客] 抓贼啊 笨蛋
-[跑步声]

215
00:13:26,958 --> 00:13:28,833
-[劫匪] 放开我
-[扭打声持续]

216
00:13:28,916 --> 00:13:30,875
[普通刺客] 啊 你咬的是我的脚

217
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:32,416
[春风一郎大喊]
你们两个穿得太像啦

218
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:35,083
[春风一郎大舒一口气]

219
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:37,458
你连剑都没有

220
00:13:38,166 --> 00:13:39,583
怎么还这么拼啊？

221
00:13:40,458 --> 00:13:43,250
看见了 就不能当没事发生啊

222
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:46,000
可是他有枪喔 你怎么这么勇啊？

223
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:49,125
嗯 可能…蒙着面会勇敢一点吧

224
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,666
明知打不过还打那叫笨

225
00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:58,000
你喝了那么多瓶 有没有中过奖啊？

226
00:13:58,500 --> 00:13:59,333
没有

227
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:00,708
那你还喝？

228
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:02,625
好喝啊

229
00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,166
不腻吗？

230
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:06,833
喜欢怎么会腻啊？

231
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:10,666
啊

232
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:15,375
[春风一郎] 谢谢惠顾而已嘛
那么开心干嘛？

233
00:14:23,625 --> 00:14:26,250
[普通刺客] 好想抽中一台电视机啊

234
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,541
[春风一郎呼噜声]

235
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:08,791
[脚步声]

236
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:12,625
[男子] 照片里这个人
是你们的朋友吗？

237
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:14,000
嗯？

238
00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:15,416
-嗯…
-[春风一郎] 嗯？

239
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:16,500
[诡异的音乐]

240
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:20,541
这是七大暗影刺客之一的…