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MISSION 1: SUPER SCISSORS
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{\an8}WORLD MAP
CHICKEN ISLAND
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{\an8}They say that
in a small island in the south,
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there lives a genius barber
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who could use his talents
to produce many great works.
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But he chose to open a salon
in this small island.
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That's right.
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It's SMT Hairstyling Art and Design.
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00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:49,250
Featuring our genius hairstylist,
Michelangelo Qiang.
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Hair dye artist, Raphael Hua.
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Hair wash artist, DaVinci Jian.
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Come one, come all.
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Get your member card now,
500 yuan for 5,000 points.
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We have a hair color treatment kit.
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It's value for money. Come check us out.
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How crude.
Who'd want to get a hairdo there?
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They'll close up shop soon.
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00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:07,000
But it looks kinda trendy.
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You have poor taste.
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- Let's go--
- Shut up!
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And now, the demonstrations!
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THE ART OF WATER
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THE ART OF WIND
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THE ART OF CUTTING
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THE ART OF COLOR
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RAINBOW LION HEAD
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Now, doesn't that look fantabulous?
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This is what we call
the art of hairstyling.
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00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:47,791
You think you're so handsome?
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Cut you.
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00:01:49,916 --> 00:01:50,916
What the hell?
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00:01:56,166 --> 00:02:00,458
We use DX permanent hair gel
imported from Stan.
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Ordinary scissors can't snip off
this artistic hairdo.
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SEVEN
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00:02:07,916 --> 00:02:09,541
But these are no ordinary scissors.
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00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:14,666
Run!
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- They're going to fight.
- Spinning Wind-Smashing Quills!
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SMT HAIRSTYLING ART AND DESIGN
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Don't follow me. Let's split up.
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It's okay. We have Xiao Fei.
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Xiao Fei!
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SEVEN
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Xiao Fei, you got the wrong guy!
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Wait for me!
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That's 500 yuan for vandal...
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It's great to be young.
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00:02:59,708 --> 00:03:02,458
I used to have that kind of hairstyle
back in the days.
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{\an8}DAI BO J HAIR SALON
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So, when will we get enough money
to get my treatment in Stan?
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00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:45,083
Speak for yourself.
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00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:46,875
You never even once succeeded in killing.
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00:03:46,958 --> 00:03:50,333
Now, our salon is losing out
to those "smarts" across the street.
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00:03:50,416 --> 00:03:51,666
And you still yearn for Stan?
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00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:53,791
Don't you have next month's rent
to settle first?
55
00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:55,791
I'm so pissed right now.
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00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,791
I don't have money for cigars now.
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Looking at those trendy shoes
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reminds me of a certain
pentagon-faced bodyguard.
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00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,208
Would you like it warm?
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00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:11,416
But it might scald me.
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00:04:11,583 --> 00:04:12,541
That's how it is.
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I got news for you.
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00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,291
According to reliable sources,
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00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:18,291
some killers have landed
here in Chicken Island.
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And they're all dangerous.
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00:04:20,583 --> 00:04:22,833
The Captain heard that you're one of them.
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00:04:22,916 --> 00:04:25,208
No, we're just making
a decent living here.
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00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:27,500
We're running a salon.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
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00:04:27,583 --> 00:04:29,833
Because it's really hard
to keep track of them,
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00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:31,541
we can't find them at all.
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00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:34,166
We thought you might know
how to find them,
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so we'd like you to join us
to hunt them down
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00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:38,583
for the safety of the island.
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00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,333
Didn't DaChun get hit on his head
by a guided missile?
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00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,041
He's hiring a killer to hunt killers?
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00:04:44,625 --> 00:04:47,083
No way. That'll be breaking the rules.
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By the way, we have a reward.
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100,000 yuan for each head?
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00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:56,583
It has always been our duty here
to keep our island safe.
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So we're accepting this mission.
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Take care, Mr. DaChun.
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Let's go, Seven.
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00:05:05,958 --> 00:05:10,041
It's now your mission
to uphold justice and peace!
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Where are you pointing at?
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Aren't I doing a nice pose?
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Why aren't you going, sweetie?
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You heard him.
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00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:24,750
These are no Tom, Dick, and Harry's
we're dealing with.
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We're talking about ruthless,
remorseless killers.
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So are you saying you're terrified?
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- Yes.
- Very good.
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Here's my latest invention,
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Hair Wax Number Seven!
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SEVEN
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See, running a salon
makes us more money, right?
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You're so silly.
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This is really a combat gear
I tailor-made for you.
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00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:46,958
When you open the can
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00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:49,166
while your target thinks
you're styling their hair,
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you'll trigger the switch on the side
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which will let off a lethal Seven dart
right on the target.
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With this fine weapon, you can go now.
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I said, go!
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BIG CHICKEN SNACKS
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Excuse me, sir.
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I'd like a beef chow fun
and chilled milk tea with no ice.
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It's a big island.
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Where can I find them?
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00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:27,833
Have you tried asking around,
"Are you an assassin?"
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I didn't think you'd catch me.
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00:06:41,541 --> 00:06:43,416
I think I've seen this trick before.
112
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You guessed it. I'm the 3,346th
on the Killer Ranking List.
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Ah Fa the Gambler.
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Wait.
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Let me style you.
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Now show me what you got.
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Care for a round of shake the dice?
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The winner decides
how to deal with the loser.
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I go first.
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Sixty-six!
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You and your dirty trick.
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SCREAM!
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BIG CHICKEN
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He hasn't paid the bill!
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I don't know him.
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Look at that chick.
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Hey, you haven't paid for your
beef chow fun and milk tea!
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AUTHENTIC CHAOSHAN BEEF BALLS
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There goes my beef chow fun.
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I'm starving.
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Aren't these handmade beef balls?
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How did you know my name?
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I hid myself so well,
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- What the...
- yet you recognized me.
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I'm just here for handmade beef balls!
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That's right, I'm number 2,999
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on the Killer Ranking List.
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Shou Daliuwan.
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00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:34,541
I'm starving.
140
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:48,291
Do you know what it takes to make
the most authentic beef balls?
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It will take over ten million
powerful poundings
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until all your hair falls off!
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How about a recharge with a little oxtail?
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You can't even touch your own rump.
145
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:26,833
Because it's a macho man's misery.
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00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,541
A lot of macho men
will overgrow their muscles
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00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:33,291
until they develop an area where
they cannot reach with their own hands.
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I'll crush you with my ass!
149
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,833
How did you get there?
150
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:52,583
But your beef balls are pretty delicious.
151
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:56,083
Though there's no beef in it.
152
00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:00,083
Meddling kid.
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MEN, WOMEN
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PEE OR POOP IN THE HOLE
155
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That was really close.
156
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:13,750
Hey, watch where you're pissing.
157
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,208
Are you doing
158
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:22,416
a cosplay or something?
159
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:26,625
You didn't think of me as an assassin
even when I dress up like this?
160
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,208
You underestimate me.
161
00:10:28,291 --> 00:10:29,958
But your garb is so ordinary!
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00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:32,166
NORMAL ASSASSIN
NUMBER 11,279 ON KILLER RANKING LIST
163
00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:33,958
Why is he so down suddenly?
164
00:10:36,541 --> 00:10:38,500
Don't underestimate the Normal Assassin!
165
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Am I too ordinary?
166
00:10:55,541 --> 00:10:59,458
By the way, are you the only assassin
in this show to dress up like that?
167
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:03,625
Am I the only one?
168
00:11:09,125 --> 00:11:10,500
I shouldn't be out here today.
169
00:11:10,583 --> 00:11:12,125
I'd better hurry home.
170
00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:15,083
Uncle Chen.
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00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:20,083
Cola.
172
00:11:20,583 --> 00:11:21,666
Hey, kid.
173
00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:24,791
Who's the strongest in Chicken Island?
174
00:11:26,541 --> 00:11:28,000
You're the kid here.
175
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I won't tell you.
176
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,750
You'd better work with me, okay?
177
00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:38,208
If not, I'll cut your face
with this sword.
178
00:11:39,416 --> 00:11:42,083
The strongest is right behind you.
179
00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:56,750
Why did you have to harm
an old man and a kid?
180
00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:58,583
You're the kid around here!
181
00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:01,708
I don't have time for this shit.
182
00:12:02,208 --> 00:12:07,041
I'm here only to kill
the strongest person on this island
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00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:09,750
so I'll rise on the Killer Ranking List.
184
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:14,541
She said you're the strongest
on this island.
185
00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:17,958
Cola, take Uncle Chen
to the Miracle Doctor.
186
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:41,166
I'll wield my blade so fast
that you'll be hacked to death
187
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:43,458
before you could even notice it.
188
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:46,875
I'm the swift swordsman,
Spring-Wind Ichiro.
189
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:49,708
Gotcha!
190
00:12:49,791 --> 00:12:52,500
Now I'm the strongest on this island!
191
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,750
That trick of yours,
my Dai Bo has used it up to death.
192
00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:01,291
SEVEN
193
00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:03,625
Are you frigging kidding me?
194
00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,583
You're a coward.
195
00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:08,958
Even Uncle Chen is stronger than you.
196
00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:12,750
If you want to win,
show me your skills and courage.
197
00:13:13,416 --> 00:13:14,916
And fight me to the death!
198
00:13:24,666 --> 00:13:27,125
9,985, 9,986.
199
00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:29,708
- I used to train hard too.
- Nine...
200
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:32,583
But when I end up in a duel,
I'll be afraid.
201
00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,666
I'm afraid of losing. I must win.
202
00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:39,375
I don't care what it takes,
as long as I can win.
203
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,458
And I've won so many times
with this trick.
204
00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:46,250
So much that I've forgotten
that I'm an assassin too!
205
00:13:51,083 --> 00:13:52,041
Gotcha.
206
00:14:14,791 --> 00:14:19,500
You couldn't even defeat
the 17,369th assassin on the list.
207
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,916
Go home and train harder.
208
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:23,875
He's so strong.
209
00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:27,208
His skills and tricks are above me.
210
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:31,541
Wait. Who are you, really?
211
00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:36,833
Me? I'm the strongest barber
on this island.
212
00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,875
My specialty is see-through bangs.
213
00:14:39,083 --> 00:14:41,291
My constant quality service
and affordable prices
214
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:43,125
makes me the toast of the town.
215
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:45,000
Wash, cut, and blow for 15,
cut only for 5.
216
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:47,125
{\an8}Come in as a couple for a price of one.
217
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:51,541
I've lost to a barber.
218
00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:58,750
But that doesn't feel so bad.
219
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:02,291
The sky is so blue.
220
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:03,916
It's the color of youth.
221
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:07,916
Suddenly, I feel like
I could use a haircut.
222
00:15:08,958 --> 00:15:10,166
{\an8}IN OPERATION
223
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,416
The operation was a success.
224
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,833
This was extracted from Uncle Chen's body.
225
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:21,875
This bullet is very peculiar
in terms of shape and material.
226
00:15:22,125 --> 00:15:23,958
It must be from Xuanwu--
227
00:15:24,041 --> 00:15:25,333
That's Uncle Chen's kidney stone.
228
00:15:27,416 --> 00:15:28,791
He's fine.
229
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:32,041
He had a fall because
his kidney stones were kicking.
230
00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:33,041
BILL
231
00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:34,416
Where's the reward?
232
00:15:34,541 --> 00:15:35,625
Did you catch anyone?
233
00:15:35,708 --> 00:15:37,916
Hey, bumpkin barber.
234
00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:39,958
Let's duel.
235
00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:43,500
See who's the strongest barber
on this island.
236
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:45,458
Whoever loses will...
237
00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:51,666
If you don't leave, it won't be your hair
that I'll be cutting.
238
00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:57,625
The folks here are all freaks!
239
00:15:57,708 --> 00:16:01,458
Don't go! I'll get somebody.
240
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:04,666
Plum Blossom Thirteen,
what brings you here?
241
00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:11,500
There are more assassins heading our way.
242
00:16:11,708 --> 00:16:13,791
You can't fight them,
so you might as well flee.
243
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:16,291
That means...
244
00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:19,208
{\an8}Here comes our chance to strike it big!
245
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:20,541
{\an8}IMPERIAL BODYGUARD
SUPER SCISSORS COUPON
246
00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,583
{\an8}We haven't posted our reward yet.
247
00:16:23,291 --> 00:16:25,500
Before I took out my Seven dart,
248
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:27,291
your bullet hit my hair wax can.
249
00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:30,375
It gave me an idea and I feigned
catching your bullet with my scissors
250
00:16:30,458 --> 00:16:31,708
just to startle you.
251
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,958
You asshole!
252
00:18:39,875 --> 00:18:41,041
Subtitle translation by CL Tan