MISSION 1: SUPER SCISSORS
WORLD MAP CHICKEN ISLAND
They say that in a small island in the south,
there lives a genius barber
who could use his talents to produce many great works.
But he chose to open a salon in this small island.
That's right.
It's SMT Hairstyling Art and Design.
Featuring our genius hairstylist, Michelangelo Qiang.
Hair dye artist, Raphael Hua.
Hair wash artist, DaVinci Jian.
Come one, come all.
Get your member card now, 500 yuan for 5,000 points.
We have a hair color treatment kit.
It's value for money. Come check us out.
How crude. Who'd want to get a hairdo there?
They'll close up shop soon.
But it looks kinda trendy.
You have poor taste.
- Let's go-- - Shut up!
And now, the demonstrations!
THE ART OF WATER
THE ART OF WIND
THE ART OF CUTTING
THE ART OF COLOR
RAINBOW LION HEAD
Now, doesn't that look fantabulous?
This is what we call the art of hairstyling.
You think you're so handsome?
Cut you.
What the hell?
We use DX permanent hair gel imported from Stan.
Ordinary scissors can't snip off this artistic hairdo.
SEVEN
But these are no ordinary scissors.
Run!
- They're going to fight. - Spinning Wind-Smashing Quills!
SMT HAIRSTYLING ART AND DESIGN
Don't follow me. Let's split up.
It's okay. We have Xiao Fei.
Xiao Fei!
SEVEN
Xiao Fei, you got the wrong guy!
Wait for me!
That's 500 yuan for vandal...
It's great to be young.
I used to have that kind of hairstyle back in the days.
DAI BO J HAIR SALON
So, when will we get enough money to get my treatment in Stan?
Speak for yourself.
You never even once succeeded in killing.
Now, our salon is losing out to those "smarts" across the street.
And you still yearn for Stan?
Don't you have next month's rent to settle first?
I'm so pissed right now.
I don't have money for cigars now.
Looking at those trendy shoes
reminds me of a certain pentagon-faced bodyguard.
Would you like it warm?
But it might scald me.
That's how it is.
I got news for you.
According to reliable sources,
some killers have landed here in Chicken Island.
And they're all dangerous.
The Captain heard that you're one of them.
No, we're just making a decent living here.
We're running a salon. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Because it's really hard to keep track of them,
we can't find them at all.
We thought you might know how to find them,
so we'd like you to join us to hunt them down
for the safety of the island.
Didn't DaChun get hit on his head by a guided missile?
He's hiring a killer to hunt killers?
No way. That'll be breaking the rules.
By the way, we have a reward.
100,000 yuan for each head?
It has always been our duty here to keep our island safe.
So we're accepting this mission.
Take care, Mr. DaChun.
Let's go, Seven.
It's now your mission to uphold justice and peace!
Where are you pointing at?
Aren't I doing a nice pose?
Why aren't you going, sweetie?
You heard him.
These are no Tom, Dick, and Harry's we're dealing with.
We're talking about ruthless, remorseless killers.
So are you saying you're terrified?
- Yes. - Very good.
Here's my latest invention,
Hair Wax Number Seven!
SEVEN
See, running a salon makes us more money, right?
You're so silly.
This is really a combat gear I tailor-made for you.
When you open the can
while your target thinks you're styling their hair,
you'll trigger the switch on the side
which will let off a lethal Seven dart right on the target.
With this fine weapon, you can go now.
I said, go!
BIG CHICKEN SNACKS
Excuse me, sir.
I'd like a beef chow fun and chilled milk tea with no ice.
It's a big island.
Where can I find them?
Have you tried asking around, "Are you an assassin?"
I didn't think you'd catch me.
I think I've seen this trick before.
You guessed it. I'm the 3,346th on the Killer Ranking List.
Ah Fa the Gambler.
Wait.
Let me style you.
Now show me what you got.
Care for a round of shake the dice?
The winner decides how to deal with the loser.
I go first.
Sixty-six!
You and your dirty trick.
SCREAM!
BIG CHICKEN
He hasn't paid the bill!
I don't know him.
Look at that chick.
Hey, you haven't paid for your beef chow fun and milk tea!
AUTHENTIC CHAOSHAN BEEF BALLS
There goes my beef chow fun.
I'm starving.
Aren't these handmade beef balls?
How did you know my name?
I hid myself so well,
- What the... - yet you recognized me.
I'm just here for handmade beef balls!
That's right, I'm number 2,999
on the Killer Ranking List.
Shou Daliuwan.
I'm starving.
Do you know what it takes to make the most authentic beef balls?
It will take over ten million powerful poundings
until all your hair falls off!
How about a recharge with a little oxtail?
You can't even touch your own rump.
Because it's a macho man's misery.
A lot of macho men will overgrow their muscles
until they develop an area where they cannot reach with their own hands.
I'll crush you with my ass!
How did you get there?
But your beef balls are pretty delicious.
Though there's no beef in it.
Meddling kid.
MEN, WOMEN
PEE OR POOP IN THE HOLE
That was really close.
Hey, watch where you're pissing.
Are you doing
a cosplay or something?
You didn't think of me as an assassin even when I dress up like this?
You underestimate me.
But your garb is so ordinary!
NORMAL ASSASSIN NUMBER 11,279 ON KILLER RANKING LIST
Why is he so down suddenly?
Don't underestimate the Normal Assassin!
Am I too ordinary?
By the way, are you the only assassin in this show to dress up like that?
Am I the only one?
I shouldn't be out here today.
I'd better hurry home.
Uncle Chen.
Cola.
Hey, kid.
Who's the strongest in Chicken Island?
You're the kid here.
I won't tell you.
You'd better work with me, okay?
If not, I'll cut your face with this sword.
The strongest is right behind you.
Why did you have to harm an old man and a kid?
You're the kid around here!
I don't have time for this shit.
I'm here only to kill the strongest person on this island
so I'll rise on the Killer Ranking List.
She said you're the strongest on this island.
Cola, take Uncle Chen to the Miracle Doctor.
I'll wield my blade so fast that you'll be hacked to death
before you could even notice it.
I'm the swift swordsman, Spring-Wind Ichiro.
Gotcha!
Now I'm the strongest on this island!
That trick of yours, my Dai Bo has used it up to death.
SEVEN
Are you frigging kidding me?
You're a coward.
Even Uncle Chen is stronger than you.
If you want to win, show me your skills and courage.
And fight me to the death!
9,985, 9,986.
- I used to train hard too. - Nine...
But when I end up in a duel, I'll be afraid.
I'm afraid of losing. I must win.
I don't care what it takes, as long as I can win.
And I've won so many times with this trick.
So much that I've forgotten that I'm an assassin too!
Gotcha.
You couldn't even defeat the 17,369th assassin on the list.
Go home and train harder.
He's so strong.
His skills and tricks are above me.
Wait. Who are you, really?
Me? I'm the strongest barber on this island.
My specialty is see-through bangs.
My constant quality service and affordable prices
makes me the toast of the town.
Wash, cut, and blow for 15, cut only for 5.
Come in as a couple for a price of one.
I've lost to a barber.
But that doesn't feel so bad.
The sky is so blue.
It's the color of youth.
Suddenly, I feel like I could use a haircut.
IN OPERATION
The operation was a success.
This was extracted from Uncle Chen's body.
This bullet is very peculiar in terms of shape and material.
It must be from Xuanwu--
That's Uncle Chen's kidney stone.
He's fine.
He had a fall because his kidney stones were kicking.
BILL
Where's the reward?
Did you catch anyone?
Hey, bumpkin barber.
Let's duel.
See who's the strongest barber on this island.
Whoever loses will...
If you don't leave, it won't be your hair that I'll be cutting.
The folks here are all freaks!
Don't go! I'll get somebody.
Plum Blossom Thirteen, what brings you here?
There are more assassins heading our way.
You can't fight them, so you might as well flee.
That means...
Here comes our chance to strike it big!
IMPERIAL BODYGUARD SUPER SCISSORS COUPON
We haven't posted our reward yet.
Before I took out my Seven dart,
your bullet hit my hair wax can.
It gave me an idea and I feigned catching your bullet with my scissors
just to startle you.
You asshole!
Subtitle translation by CL Tan