MISSION 3: PROTECTING MAD BARK
SEVEN
CHEAP-LIFE HUA
Sir, here's the hairdo you requested.
Wash, cut, blow for 15 yuan. Plus three beef with scrambled egg,
a serving of beef offal, and a glass of cold milk tea,
that will cost you 88 yuan.
BILL: 88 YUAN
I'm broke. All I have is one miserable life.
What, you want to dine and dash?
Seven, get him.
Trying to mess with me, kid? You're already dead.
Wait.
I've brought you a few secret books about Xuanwu martial arts.
Just choose one and consider yourself paid.
Don't fall for it. They're obviously fake.
Can I have this one?
19 It's so stylish.
HEADQUARTERS OF THE DOGS
TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT
A BRIEF HISTORY OF HUMANKIND
STUPID BARK
Stop right there. And don't mess with the dogs.
Mad Bark, I'm here to defeat you.
Bring it on.
Mad.
Meow.
- Mad. - Meow.
- Mad-- - Stop it.
I'm sick of those corny, clichéd lines.
Let's get down to business.
You may start billing now.
He's no ordinary dog.
He's a guitar-strumming dog.
Let's duel with guitars.
You parted with him again
His voice was out of the ordinary.
I am always by your side
Whenever you chat
He's not a good singer.
- Whenever you cry - But somehow,
- I want to be with you 350 days - it made me sad, weak, and depressed
- like a main man in a sad music video. - Now he's back
- To hold your hand - It suddenly pierced my heart.
- And you're standing by his side - It hurts so much like I'm out of love.
- Those are heartbreaking notes. - You could barely
Recognize me
How could I be...
Then when I hurried there, the killer dog had already fled.
It's the long-lost Magical Sound of Sadness.
- Magical Sound of Sadness? - Magical Sound of Sadness?
Is that the name of the song?
I know the way.
Let's do a "Lure the Dog out of the Pit."
You mean "Lure the Snake"?
It's a big empty space and he's there all alone
pretending to drink wine.
Doesn't it look fake?
Does it?
Doesn't it?
Does it?
Doesn't it?
Is a dog's IQ that high?
That's enough.
Here it comes.
See?
My plan is flawless.
BONDAGE MAGIC MELODY
Do you think I would fall for it?
You're no Mad Bark.
Your eye patch looks thick.
No, it can't be.
What's the point of watching if you guessed the plot?
Burst Bottle!
Solid as Gold Seven Day Lock.
He caught me.
Who are you and why do you want to kill Mad Bark?
-How could I be so silly to protect you? - Look out, it's this song.
I'm not even a fallback guy
Yet I put up with your bold face
Now I'm crying in silence Without thinking of you
Not wanting to see you again
This time I'm giving up for good
How should I pretend That I never loved you
I'm not even a fallback guy
Don't want to be the shadow of love
I'm an emotionless killer.
SEVEN
Would you like a haircut from me?
The Magical Sound of Sadness loses its effect once it stops.
Now he's back to hold your hand
Transform!
Chicken earplug!
Sweet Melody Flying Chicken!
He's an expert in ranged attacks. I must drive him into a melee.
Xiao Fei, get me near him as fast as you can.
Chicken Launch!
He staved off my melee.
Xiao Fei.
You're getting yourself killed.
You can't do this, Meow Cai.
My mask.
I knew it.
When I put my foot on your face, you didn't respond at all.
A dog with a keen sense of smell wouldn't take it so well.
After all,
I haven't washed this foot all day.
So only one truth prevails.
That dog snout is fake.
It's only a surgical mask.
MEOW CAI SECOND HAND OF CATS
Sorry, Meow.
I did this because...
Looks like it's another doggone melodrama.
Meow Cai, where have you been the last six months?
- Everyone was so worried. - Because I like you.
I've liked you for so long.
Here it comes.
But you only care for that dog.
Half a year ago, I left Chicken Island for a place called Dali.
A TRAVEL GUIDE TO DALI
I heard there are a lot of hot babes there,
so I tried to see if I could forget you.
As I drifted away,
I ended up in a place called Xuanwu.
XUANWU
I ate up all my fish, so I had to busk for a living.
Some bad guys came to beat me up, saying I was a lousy singer.
At that moment, someone came to my rescue.
They called him the Nine-Fingered Deadful Melody.
Not only did he rescue me, but he also passed down his unique power to me,
the Magical Sound of Sadness.
Your singing has the vibe of someone who has been single for years.
Thus, you are fit to learn the Magical Sound of Sadness.
I do like someone.
But she doesn't like you back.
I was so gifted that I managed to perfect it in half a year.
When I graduated, I felt like nothing can stop me.
But when I came back for Meow, that son of a bitch showed up again.
Dear girl, please forgive me
I'm such a dumb, dumb, dumb dog
He was melodious.
You thought I've fallen for a guitar-strumming dog,
- so you show up dressed like this? - I didn't plan to kill him.
I just wanted to prove that I'm stronger than him.
- And I can protect you-- - You're wrong.
That's not the reason why I like him.
You don't have to prove anything.
- You've always been a good cat. - Too bad, she's rejecting him.
It's just that I don't like you.
Meow Cai, are you still going to Dali?
No, I'm not planning to seek love.
- Don't come back. - You've broken up.
- Don't forget to call me. - Take care, Meow Cai.
Look, Dai Bo.
I just traded my hair wax can for Meow Cai's map.
This is a road map to Xuanwu.
What is it for?
And do you know how expensive that hair wax is?
Now he's back to hold your hand
And you're standing by his side
PAWN SHOP
You could barely...
THE FEELING OF LOVE
Recognize me
How could I be so silly to protect you?
I'm not even a fallback guy
Yet I put up with your bold face
Now I'm crying in silence Without thinking of you
Not wanting to see you again
This time I'm giving up for good
How should I pretend That I never loved you
I'm not even a fallback guy
Don't want to be the shadow of love
Now I'm crying in silence Deciding to give up on you
Perhaps we're destined
To not to be together
I make it as though I never met you
Until I see you again
Now he's back to hold your hand
And you're standing by his side
You could barely recognize me
How could I be so silly to protect you?
I'm not even a fallback guy
Don't want to be the shadow of love
Now I'm crying in silence Deciding to give up on you
Perhaps we're destined
To not to be together
I make it as though I never met you
Until I see you again
I'm not even a fallback guy
Yet I put up with your bold face
Now I'm crying in silence Without thinking of you
Not wanting to see you again
This time I'm giving up for good
How should I pretend That I never loved you
I'm not even a fallback guy
Don't want to be the shadow of love
Now I'm crying in silence Deciding to give up on you
Perhaps we're destined
To not to be together
But in fact...
I want to see you...
Again
Subtitle translation by CL Tan