1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,639 You'll repay your debt to society 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:06,360 by working the number of hours mandated by the court. 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:10,399 We found it, we're entitled to it. 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,240 Are you citing the legal precedent "finders keeper, losers weepers"? 5 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,680 HE SIGHS 6 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,679 Don't worry, ma'am. I've got eyes in the back of my head. 7 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,159 I have this cupboard in my office. I call it the Cupboard of Chaos. 8 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,360 I gave your cupboard a little spring clean. 9 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,879 You pissed my company down the drain! 10 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,399 I didn't piss anything, OK? I'm saving it! 11 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,839 I love you, Dad. 12 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,599 I spent 18 months in a prison cell. 13 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,919 I'm not spending my last few years in another one! 14 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,919 PC Colin Denison died in that fire. 15 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,520 The guilt won't go away. 16 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,479 Find my money and whoever took it 17 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:04,640 because now I have to kill either them or you just to make a point. 18 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,320 PANICKED BREATHING 19 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,239 CAR DOOR CLOSES 20 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,560 PANICKED BREATHING 21 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,520 KNOCKING ON DOOR 22 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,720 I'm in trouble. I need your help. 23 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,600 Please. 24 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,600 Esme... 25 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,159 ..we've got something to tell you. 26 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,439 Oh, my God. Did you get her pregnant? 27 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,159 No. No! 28 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,679 We're friends. Yeah, pals. 29 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,279 Anyway, erm, Rani's going to be staying with us for a bit. 30 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,719 Are the feds after you? 31 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,879 No, I...I just got into a massive fight with my parents. 32 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,599 I told them I didn't want to go to Oxford and I left. 33 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,799 Oh. So, your first thought was to come here 34 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,319 cos we've got so much space? 35 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,999 Come on, Es. We owe her. 36 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,279 Maybe. But she's not having my bed. 37 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,159 Don't worry, you can...you can take my bed. 38 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,439 No, no, 39 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,959 I can't throw you out of your own bed. 40 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,759 Or you two could share. 41 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:22,919 No. 42 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,199 No, I'm...I'm.... No. I'm going stay in here. 43 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,079 Right. Uh, make yourself comfy. Mm-hm. 44 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,600 I'm making food. Do you want some? Love some. 45 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:35,959 I see you. 46 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,119 Sorry, you see me? 47 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,719 Trying to get in my brother's Ninja Turtle boxers. 48 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,679 WHISPERING: I'm not trying to get into your brother's anything. 49 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,839 I left home, Es. 50 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,679 Hey, Ran. Yep. 51 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,239 Are you ready to try this, yeah? 52 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,200 Oh, God. It's my grandma's recipe. OK. Are you ready? Yeah. 53 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,719 Oh, my God, that's amazing! 54 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:54,799 Yeah? Mm. 55 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,799 You sure? Yeah. God, you should open a restaurant or something. 56 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,239 That is so yummy. Yeah, maybe I will. 57 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,239 Maybe you should eat in one first. 58 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,719 I've eaten in restaurants. 59 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,359 Only ones with photos on the menu. 60 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,879 Ain't you got something else to be doing? 61 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,719 "Ohh, that's amazing! You should open a restaurant!" 62 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,919 I didn't say it like that. 63 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,999 You definitely said it like that. No, I didn't! 64 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,600 You did. I didn't. You did. No, I didn't. You did. No. 65 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,359 DOORBELL RINGS 66 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,719 Hello, Your Ladyship. We're here to film the commercial. 67 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,919 For social media. 68 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,599 I thought that was on Wednesday. 69 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,200 It is Wednesday. 70 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,400 Great. 71 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,280 DOOR CLOSES 72 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,520 COUGHING 73 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,279 What? 74 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,960 It was...someone's birthday. 75 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:12,039 Steve, sorry. Erm, this is Lesley. I know you spoke on the phone. 76 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,080 Hi. 77 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,519 Do you think I'm stupid enough to hide the money in my bedroom, Frank? 78 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,319 I mean, come on. Would you do that? 79 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,239 You made your point, Tommy, but let's stop playing. 80 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,799 What's a teenage boy going to spend all that money on? 81 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,119 Pornography? 82 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,039 Why would I pay for porn? It's free on the internet. 83 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,279 It is? 84 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,839 You shouldn't have hidden the money back in the attic, Frank. 85 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,959 It was lazy. So, to teach you a lesson, 86 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,919 I'm going to use it to pay off Mum's mortgage. 87 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,039 You know, you can't just walk into your mom's bank and hand it over. 88 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,399 You have to wash it first. 89 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,239 What, like, clean off the fingerprints? 90 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,479 You must've heard of washing money, laundering money 91 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,359 to make it look like you earned it legitimately. 92 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,519 What do they teach you at that school? 93 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:50,999 How do you wash money? 94 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,519 Smurfing. Offshore shell companies. Casinos are good. 95 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:55,959 Why? 96 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:59,119 You walk into a casino, you buy chips with the cash. 97 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,719 You play for a while, you cash in the chips, 98 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,359 you get paid by cheque. 99 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:07,079 Now your money looks like legitimate winnings. 100 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,999 Fine, I'll take it to a casino. 101 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,759 Great. You just have to wait till you turn 18 in two years' time. 102 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,079 Or we could split the money fairly. 103 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,559 Say 80-20. 104 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,279 You're not getting the money back. 105 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,319 But, uh, here's your plane ticket to Rio. 106 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,919 We both know you don't love Mum, you don't love me or Holly. 107 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,680 Your tag comes off tomorrow, so... 108 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,640 ..take it and go. 109 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,039 I loved making my own fizzy drinks as a kid, 110 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,799 and this new deluxe at-home soda maker takes me right back 111 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,680 to being just eight years old. 112 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,839 Just choose the flavour of your choice... 113 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,919 SODA MACHINE HISSES 114 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,839 ..and voila. 115 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,479 SODA FIZZES AND SPRAYS 116 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,639 Oh! Fizzy cunt! Fuck! 117 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,119 Was that OK, darling? 118 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,399 Erm, I'm not sure the client will be totally happy 119 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,959 with you calling their product the C word. 120 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,279 Do you want to call and check? 121 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,119 Could we just go one more time? 122 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,999 Really? 123 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,799 This new deluxe at-home soda maker takes me right back 124 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,280 to being eight years old. 125 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,280 Mm, delicious! 126 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,599 I think we got it. 127 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,119 Uh, we did but there was a naked man in the shot. 128 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,719 So could we just go again? 129 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,559 No, that was a really good one. Yeah, it was, 130 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,679 but, uh, I'm not sure the client will be happy 131 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,839 with a commercial aimed at kids featuring an actual man's penis. 132 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,239 Well, just take it out with GCI. 133 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,479 We don't have the budget for CGI. This is for Instagram. 134 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,839 One more time, please? 135 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,639 I mean, who even buys these things? 136 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,639 Who has ever drunk a can of Coke and thought, 137 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,399 "Ooh, yeah, I like that, but damn, I wish I was more involved 138 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,279 "in the manufacturing process"? 139 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,959 One more time for luck? 140 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,399 I loved making my own fizzy drinks as a kid, 141 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,759 and this new deluxe at-home soda maker takes me right back 142 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,239 to being six years old, 143 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,080 the year my mother killed herself. 144 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:00,559 Get in, you bastard! 145 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,480 I think you've got it in the wrong way. 146 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,960 SHE SCREAMS 147 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:12,960 I think we've got it. 148 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,599 From my analysis, your production model is the weak link. 149 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,759 It's old-fashioned. 150 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,199 Now, I've identified ways to ramp up profitability, 151 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,039 but it will involve a radical overhaul 152 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,439 of how things are done here. 153 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,519 How things are done here is how they've been done for 40 years. 154 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,439 Your son tells me he's negotiated a possible partnership 155 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,559 with a competitor, uh, Hilgard Auto Frictions. 156 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,319 My son knows I'll be six foot under 157 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,679 before I do any business with Graham Hilgard. 158 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,439 Given the state of your finances, 159 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,239 it's an idea that needs serious consideration. 160 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,199 Lesley, is it? 161 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,600 Can I speak privately with my son for a moment? 162 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,039 Trouble-shooters, huh? 163 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,039 Another one of your masterplans. 164 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,759 Like taking stolen money. 165 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,999 She's a business enhancement specialist, Dad. 166 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,679 And she says that a company like ours that isn't progressing 167 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,759 is regressing. 168 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,040 She's right. 169 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,760 There is a weak link here. 170 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,440 But it's not the production model. 171 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,479 They're refusing to pay me for the advert! 172 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,479 Well, yes, because as brand ambassador, 173 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,319 your contract states that you will refrain 174 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,959 from offensive remarks or conduct. I did. 175 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,599 You smashed up their soda maker, then called it a C bomb! 176 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,879 Hold the lift, please! 177 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,719 That's the lady I told you about. 178 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,039 The one you like? Yeah, what do I do? 179 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,200 Be yourself. 180 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,759 Thanks, Greg. Oh, no problem, Anne-Marie. Which floor? 181 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,919 We work on the same floor. 182 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,680 Oh! THEY LAUGH 183 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,279 Good for you for cycling to work. That's very healthy. 184 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,199 No, no, it's a bad idea. 185 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,159 I'm sweating so much, I need another shower now. 186 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,879 Oh. Oh, yeah. You don't want to get a yeast infection. 187 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,160 No. 188 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,680 I just mean from wearing the same sweaty clothes all day. 189 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,720 You know, can create humid crotch conditions. 190 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:26,960 Leading to a build-up of fungus in your...vaginal cavity. 191 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:31,959 LIFT DINGS 192 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,440 See you later. See you later. 193 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,279 Smooth. 194 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,760 Really smooth. 195 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,119 Ah, thanking you, Greg-a-leg-a-ding-dong. 196 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,079 That's so sweet. You collect his dry cleaning for him? 197 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,599 Yeah, we have a little quid pro quo. 198 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,879 He scratches my back and I don't send him to prison. 199 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,959 He's a joker. Ignore him. 200 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:59,039 Come on, then, Greg, when are you going to ask Anne-Marie out? Sh! 201 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,839 Anne-Marie? You absolute horndog. 202 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,639 I'm not asking anybody out, all right? It's against company policy. 203 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,839 I don't care, Greg. I can smell office romance. 204 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,799 Er, no, you can smell Greg's aftershave. 205 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,479 "Lonely by Paco Rabanne." 206 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,679 Hey, I think it's romantic 207 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,919 that a woman you work with might be your next wife. 208 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:17,119 No, no, his next wife is a Latvian conman posing as a swimwear model. 209 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,239 What about the commercial, all right? You need a payday. 210 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,879 Let's sue them. You can't afford to sue them, all right? 211 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,799 Your father's frozen your allowance. 212 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:25,839 What? Since when? 213 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,839 Since you ruined his lawn with your car! 214 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,599 Oh, for God's sake! It's only grass, it'll grow back. 215 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,799 The Bank of Daddy is closed, Your Ladyship, all right? 216 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,239 You need to cut down on your outgoings. Why? 217 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,399 Why? Cos you're spending like a crazy person! 218 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,759 Look at this - bar bills, restaurant bills. 219 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,879 You've been buying clothes and bags 220 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,839 and a Tempur-Pedic cat bed! 221 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,279 A Gucci skateboard? 222 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,679 You've bought two wet suits! 223 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,119 One of them is formal. 224 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,959 Six grand on Uber Eats! 225 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,879 For a year, that's fine! 226 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,199 That was August! 227 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,039 £580 on tarot readings! 228 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,999 I am not cutting out Madame Orion. She sees things. 229 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,719 Has she seen that you'll be bankrupt by Christmas? 230 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,719 No, she bloody hasn't! 231 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,359 All right, fine, ditch the bitch. 232 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,119 I will try and cut back on my spending. 233 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,520 But meanwhile... 234 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,679 ..what's your next move? 235 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,920 To the kitchen to make me tea and toast. 236 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,320 Oh, and spread the jam right to the edges this time. 237 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,759 I can't believe he does that for you. What a sweet guy. 238 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,160 Isn't he? 239 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,159 This is called a beep test. 240 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,439 BEEP 241 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,639 It is used to test the aerobic capacity 242 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,279 of trainee PCSOs like myself. 243 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,639 What's a PCSO? 244 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,239 A Police Community Support Officer. 245 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,399 Uniformed civilians. 246 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,439 Like a supply teacher, but with less authority and respect. 247 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,319 Not true. We provide a reassuring presence on the street 248 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,439 and tackle the scourge of antisocial behaviour, 249 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,639 working alongside the police. The real police. 250 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,359 Can you arrest someone? 251 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,639 No. Do you carry handcuffs? 252 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,039 No. Can you investigate a crime? 253 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,759 No. Can you Taser someone? 254 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,679 Look, if you've got questions, Google 'em. 255 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,079 BEEP Oh, shit. 256 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,079 You're barely out of short trousers, 257 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,639 where does a teenager hide something they don't want a parent to find? 258 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:16,839 Well, my mum's an addict, 259 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,759 so she was the one hiding stuff from me. 260 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,839 First time I stole anything, 261 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,359 I was so paranoid my parents would find out, 262 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,199 I didn't even bring it home. 263 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,679 So, where'd you stash it? 264 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,439 My locker. At school. 265 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,759 Oh. Hmm. BEEP 266 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,519 Notice how the beeps... 267 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,799 ..are getting closer and 268 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,119 closer together... BEEP 269 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,559 ..but my pace has not slowed. BEEP 270 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,919 So do I need to be buying a hat? 271 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,759 Do you need a hat? 272 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,880 I mean for your wedding. 273 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,439 What? No! We're just friends. 274 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,959 Who are living together. 275 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,879 What? As lovers? 276 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,119 No. As roommates. It's temporary. 277 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,319 Yeah, well, my mum moved her boyfriend in temporarily, 278 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:05,279 so she said, and Trevor has been stinking out the bathroom 279 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,039 for months now. BEEP 280 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,079 Ah. Ah! 281 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,479 Ah! Oh! 282 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,079 Right. Who wants a go at the beep test? 283 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,039 I'm fine. A no on the beep testing, thank you. 284 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,959 All right, fine. Good luck with all your heart disease. 285 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,599 BLOWS WHISTLE 286 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,680 OK, back to it. You still all have lots of hours to work off. 287 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,879 Oi, you two. Come here. 288 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,199 So, as trainee PCSO, 289 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,759 that business with your sister 290 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,679 is the last time I turn any more blind eyes. 291 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,199 Any more trouble from the two of you, 292 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,119 and it's no more Mrs Nice Guy. 293 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,279 If you feel yourself being pulled to the dark side, 294 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,399 talk to me. Yeah? Believe it or not, 295 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,839 I used to be a bad girl with a hot boyfriend like you. 296 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:48,959 He's not my boyfriend. 297 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,039 Massimo was the hottest boy in school. 298 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,439 Everyone was jealous. 299 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,519 They were like, "Diane, how did you bag 300 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,159 "that smoking-hot piece of tail?" 301 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,679 Three words - charisma and cider. 302 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,639 Massimo had a mantra - 303 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,359 "Live fast, die young, 304 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,959 "leave a good-looking corpse." 305 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,399 Which he did. 306 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,359 Massimo died? Yeah. He was driving a stolen car, 307 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,479 being chased by police, crashed into a building site. 308 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,159 Scaffolding pole went right through his brain. 309 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,919 To be honest, he did not leave a good-looking corpse. 310 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:25,759 But that woke me up and I turned my life around 360 degrees. 311 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,599 Doesn't that leave you where you started? 312 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,040 No, not me. 313 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,079 I'm paying it forward, 314 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,879 giving you both a second chance, yeah? 315 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,399 So the rest of your life starts right here, 316 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,240 right now. Yeah? 317 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,840 Right after you pick up that dog shit. 318 00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,800 HE IMITATES GUNFIRE 319 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,279 Greg, what are you doing?! He's threatening to kill us! 320 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,959 I thought he was flirting. 321 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,679 Do you reckon he's after that money? 322 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,040 What money? 323 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,199 When I stole the line, I also stole some money. 324 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,519 Why didn't you tell me this? 325 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,479 The less you know, the less you're involved. 326 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:26,039 WHISPERING: I was chased by men with machetes. 327 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,639 I'm already involved. 328 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,839 Wait, you stole the money? I thought it was yours. 329 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,239 Why would I have that much money? 330 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,639 Because you're a drug dealer? 331 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,359 Why is he automatically a drug dealer? What, because he's black? 332 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:38,039 Because he had hundreds of thousands of pounds in a bag! 333 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,159 Plus he threatened me. Right? With a real gun. 334 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,799 Not just his fingers. Look, I'm not saying he's not a criminal, 335 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,439 but why does he have to be a drug dealer? 336 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,559 Why can't he be doing tax evasion or...or art fraud? 337 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,560 Hmm. You've been painting fake Vermeers, have you? 338 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,559 Where did you get hundreds of thousands of pounds from? 339 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,199 A drug dealer. 340 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,559 You fucking fuck! 341 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,319 GREG: You stole money from a drug dealer?! 342 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,999 Now we're going to wind up in the desert, digging our own graves! 343 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,719 There are no deserts in England. Well, then...Minehead Beach. 344 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,759 I told you that it was dirty money. 345 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,519 You still took it, though, didn't you? 346 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,479 You took it? Not just me. Them too. 347 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,479 So j-just return the money, then. 348 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,079 What? 349 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,319 We, uh...we spent it. 350 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,559 You've already spent hundreds of thousands of pounds? 351 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,439 I didn't. 352 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,439 OK, at least one of us isn't a total idiot. 353 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,399 My grandson stole my cut. 354 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,559 I withdraw my last remark. 355 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,479 Did...did you spend yours, too? 356 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,759 They didn't give me any money. 357 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,879 They just blackmailed me into washing it for them. 358 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,759 What does that mean? Is that getting the fingerprints off? 359 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,399 It means you launder it so it looks like it was earned legally. 360 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,919 Don't kids in Britain learn this stuff? 361 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,479 I can't believe I'm the only person who didn't know about this. 362 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,479 You're not the only one. 363 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,559 Hey, guys, what are we talking about? 364 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,439 FRANK: Laundry. 365 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,439 Cool. So, I don't know how familiar you guys are 366 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,919 with the movement of the Sun, but tomorrow night is the Solstice. 367 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:05,239 So, I am heading to Ergo, and I want you all there, OK? 368 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,919 Diane is in. Not to be missed, then. 369 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,399 Drinks are on me, no excuses. 370 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,040 Come on. Let's get ancient. 371 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,599 What are we going to do?! 372 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,119 We could pop down for one drink. 373 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,679 Not the club, the drug dealer! 374 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,680 Have you heard of a con called The Sasquatch Patsy? 375 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,960 No. What do they teach in your schools? 376 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,759 BEEP 377 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,479 Ah! 378 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,879 HEAVY BREATHING 379 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,640 BEEP 380 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,959 My keys are gone. 381 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,479 Have you looked in your bag? 382 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,039 They're not in there. 383 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,559 My man. 384 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,799 What about your pockets? 385 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,679 Why are things always in the last place you look? 386 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,479 Thank you. Because you stop looking after you find them. 387 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,799 Grandpa is going to take you to school today, 388 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,399 so just give me a hug. 389 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,759 Or don't. And learn lots. Mwah! 390 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,279 Bye. Bye. 391 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,519 Bye. 392 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,000 Thank you. Learn lots. 393 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:52,999 Lesley. Did we arrange a meeting? 394 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,320 Please sit down, Mr Halloran. 395 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,680 Bye-bye, Grandpa. Have a wonderful day. 396 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,280 SCHOOL BELL RINGS 397 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,439 Your father has decided that Halloran & Son 398 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,359 will sell a minority share to Hilgard Auto Friction. 399 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,999 Well, hallelujah. You've finally seen the light, Dad. 400 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,439 Your father will remain as CEO, 401 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,399 but there will be some workforce optimisation. 402 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,039 I'm here to tell you this is your final day of employment. 403 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,080 What? 404 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,639 What did she say? Are you firing me? 405 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,039 Your father feels it's in everyone's best interests 406 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,639 for you to step away from Halloran & Son. 407 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,800 Step away from Halloran & Son?! 408 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,279 I'm the Son! 409 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,240 It's vital you don't make this personal. Is it? OK. 410 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,519 That's fine, because I'm also company director, 411 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,999 so you can't do this. 412 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,199 The power to remove a director is granted to the majority shareholders 413 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,519 under the company's Articles of Association. 414 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:19,799 I hired you! 415 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,280 I'm employed by the company. 416 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,759 What's...? What are you doing? 417 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,519 What's going...? This is crazy. 418 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,279 What are you doing? I'm your son! 419 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,799 You're making this personal. 420 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,119 Shut up! Don't raise your voice to a woman. 421 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,479 I'm s-sorry. Sorry. 422 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,600 I... 423 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,000 Why are you doing this? 424 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,920 I forced you into the family trade. 425 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,759 But you're out of your depth. 426 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,080 I blame myself. 427 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,479 Don't take it personally. 428 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,880 It's just business. 429 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,600 BELL RINGS 430 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:15,720 Sir. Hi. Um... 431 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,479 ..could I ask you a question? 432 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,039 Yeah? 433 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,439 How do you pay off a mortgage? 434 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,000 GRIME MUSIC PLAYS 435 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,999 You put this in the recycling bin? 436 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,999 Yeah. How fucking dumb are you? 437 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,519 This can't be recycled. 438 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,439 Bro, it's cardboard. Murked in grease and cheese. 439 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,639 Did you not watch the YouTube video I pinged out to you about this? 440 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,959 Tramps like you are the reason the planet is dying. 441 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,159 And why didn't you wash my car like I done told you? 442 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,079 Fam, I'm not your PA. For real. 443 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,159 A PA would have initiative and at least one GCSE. 444 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,759 Go put this in the proper bin. 445 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,319 And the door opens inwards, 446 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,000 so remember to not hit yourself in the face this time. 447 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,680 KNOCKING ON DOOR 448 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,319 What the fuck are you doing here? 449 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:05,799 I'm bringing you a peace offering. 450 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,439 Is it that fat stack of cash you took? 451 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,959 No. 452 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,359 It's him. 453 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,319 Hiya. 454 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,319 It's nice to see you again. 455 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,639 Why are you bringing this googly-eyed plank to my house? 456 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,879 Bit rude, innit? 457 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,679 He's a lawyer. I've got a lawyer. 458 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,399 Yes, but I suspect your lawyer probably costs about £150 an hour, 459 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,039 which means by the time you go to court 460 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,199 for having sent him to do your community service, 461 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,959 you could be looking at a ten grand bill. 462 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,879 Whereas his services will be free of charge, 463 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,119 if we stop this beef and we start working together. 464 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,239 And do what? 465 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:36,599 Get the Dean off our backs. 466 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,799 What's stopping me from taking you to the Dean right now? 467 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,479 Um, if I could take that one? 468 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,159 If anything happens to either of us, 469 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,319 then my associates will make contact with the Dean 470 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,199 and explain to him how you tried to... 471 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,639 Um, what was it again? 472 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,239 How you tried to fuck him with his own dick. 473 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,880 Which, uh...I don't imagine he will like. 474 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,920 Guess who's back. 475 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,399 Man, not again! 476 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,319 How do I contact the Dean? 477 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:37,720 How do I contact him?! 478 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,839 You've got a set of balls on you, mate, 479 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,319 I'll tell you that for nothing. Yeah? Thanks. 480 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,439 Means a lot coming from you. 481 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,399 INTERNAL RINGTONE 482 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,679 Yes? Someone wants to talk to you. 483 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,559 He's got a gun to my head, man! 484 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,119 Who's this? Are you the Dean? 485 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,839 Who wants to know? 486 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,519 The arsehole that stole his money. 487 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,039 HE LAUGHS 488 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,279 You've got some big balls. 489 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,359 Yeah? So I keep hearing. 490 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:06,559 You're the worst thing to happen to my business since Covid. 491 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:07,999 What do you want? 492 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,679 I'm just telling you to call off your attack dogs. 493 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,519 Isn't he in on this with you? 494 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,279 Nah. Nah, I work alone. 495 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,919 You know, I will find you. 496 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,759 You never heard what happened to a Brook Hill soldier called Spider? 497 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:23,199 I heard he got heartburn that put him in the hospital. Was that you? 498 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,719 Yeah, man, that was me. 499 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,639 And the same goes for anyone you send that tries to look for me. 500 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,199 But as a show of good faith, 501 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,199 I'm going to leave your line here. 502 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,759 Yeah? For you to collect at your own convenience. 503 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,559 Tell him it's there. Tell him it's there. 504 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,839 Yeah, it's there, he's telling the truth. 505 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,559 You'll get no more trouble from me 506 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,519 if I get no more trouble from you. 507 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:44,960 Do we have a deal? 508 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,120 We do. 509 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:57,080 SIZZLING 510 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,079 Thank you. 511 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,239 Close your eyes. 512 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,399 What? Close your fucking eyes! 513 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,399 Wait! There's no need for you to do this! I haven't done anything wrong! 514 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,559 They just came here, man! I didn't ask for it, mate! 515 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:12,839 Come on, I've just got a dog! 516 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,400 Please, man, don't do... 517 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,519 HE SIGHS 518 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,519 Thank you. 519 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,919 You're a free man now, Frank. Yep. 520 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:32,999 You can leave any time you want. 521 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,319 Yeah, but Grandpa is going to stay right here with us, aren't you, Dad? 522 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,239 That's right. Forever and ever! 523 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,639 How would you like to spend your first night of freedom, Dad? 524 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,639 Would you like meatloaf? That's your favourite, right? 525 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,679 Meatloaf, that would be wonderful, 526 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,599 but I've been dreaming of sitting in 527 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,759 a bar with a cool glass of beer. 528 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,599 How would you feel if I stepped out and, you know, wet my tonsils? 529 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,040 I'd feel fine, I don't know how to make meatloaf. 530 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,280 Goodbye. 531 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,120 TV PLAYS 532 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,400 DOOR CLOSES 533 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,639 KNOCKING ON DOOR 534 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:31,720 Got it. 535 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,039 Mum. What are you doing here? 536 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,759 You forgot Mr Snuggles. 537 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,719 You know you can't sleep without him. 538 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,559 Yes, I can. 539 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,919 So, this is where you live now? 540 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,119 Yep. 541 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,319 I thought you were living with a boy. 542 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,840 I'm not living with a boy, I'm just staying here until... 543 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:01,760 Until what? 544 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,959 Look, we all said things that we didn't mean, 545 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,239 but your father and I, 546 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,839 we are willing to draw a line under everything. 547 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,639 So why don't you just come back home? 548 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,359 You can finish your studies, you can take your place at Oxford. 549 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,679 How many times do I have to say I don't want to go to Oxford? 550 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,119 But I don't understand why not! 551 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,359 Because it's your dream. It's not my dream, Mum. 552 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,599 So what are you going to do with your life? 553 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,479 You going to go out and get some crappy job 554 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,840 and come home every night to, what, this dump?! 555 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:41,919 This used to be our thing. 556 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,320 Every Friday night, get a takeaway and watch Graham Norton. 557 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,120 Come home. 558 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,640 Thanks for bringing Mr Snuggles. 559 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:14,239 SHE SIGHS 560 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,520 DOOR CLOSES 561 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,480 SHE SNIFFS 562 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,880 CHATTER 563 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,279 How did it go? 564 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,759 Yeah. We're all good now. 565 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,319 Really? 566 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:46,479 100%. 567 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,079 Thank God. 568 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,599 What are you doing here? 569 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,239 I thought I'd come in the club. 570 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,799 Yeah? Yeah, it's a Friday night, baby. 571 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:59,079 What else am I going to do? Stay inside and watch Graham Norton? 572 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,479 Stop the press! You came! 573 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,719 Oh, hi! Oh, come on, let's go in. 574 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,960 Look after her, yeah? It's her first time in a club. 575 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,920 CAMERA CLICKS 576 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,799 You're late. I got here at 7pm. 577 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,079 People don't normally come to nightclubs that early. 578 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:47,919 Yeah, I know, so I discovered. 579 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,319 I just spent an hour watching them scrape the gum off the dance floor. 580 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,639 Oh, no, thank you, I don't drink alcohol. 581 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,679 Why? Is it because you're a Muslim? 582 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,239 I'm not a Muslim. 583 00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,959 No? Why don't you drink alcohol? 584 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:01,679 Uh... Babe, no friend of mine 585 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,800 is going to their grave having not tried champagne. Drink. 586 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,599 Mm. 587 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,399 It's, like, bubbly. 588 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,040 That's its nickname. 589 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,559 I think I like champagne. 590 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:23,840 Oh, woo! 591 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,160 G-Dog! 592 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,479 Champagne? 593 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,599 Oh, cheers. Woo! 594 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,399 Well, cheers, everyone. 595 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:36,719 ALL: Cheers! 596 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,040 GLASSES CLINK 597 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:52,200 Place your bets. 598 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,280 14. 18. 11. 599 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:06,960 Hi. 600 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,600 Thank you. 601 00:34:51,720 --> 00:34:53,959 Whoa! No, sweetie. 602 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,359 Ha! You've just had your first drink, 603 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,719 let's not run before we can walk. 604 00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:01,999 Can we? Oh, yeah, just...just whatever you want, put it on my tab. 605 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,359 You promised you were going to cut down on your spending. 606 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,959 They're my friends. 607 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:07,360 SHE SCOFFS 608 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,279 Greg, isn't that your lady from work? 609 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,559 It is, yeah. 610 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,359 Oh, hello, she's coming over. 611 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,679 What do I do? 612 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,359 Be cool and say hi. 613 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,160 Hey, you. Hi! Oh... 614 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,039 That's fine. 615 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:41,639 What are you doing here? 616 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,079 Erm, hen do. 617 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:44,680 Oh, yeah. No, it is... 618 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:47,799 It's hot in here, isn't it? 619 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,199 It is hot. It is a bit hot, yeah. 620 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,519 I hope it doesn't create humid crotch conditions 621 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,240 that could lead to a build-up of fungus in my vaginal cavity. 622 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,439 Oh! HE LAUGHS 623 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,559 Right, yeah, do you remember when we were in the lift 624 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,519 and I was talking about her fanny, her...? 625 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:06,399 Um... Can I ask you something that's, er, sort of embarrassing? 626 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,559 OK, sure. 627 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,599 Could we get a picture with Lady Gabby? 628 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,720 Oh, yeah. Yeah, hang on. 629 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:16,999 Is it all right if Anne-Marie and her friends 630 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,279 have a photo with you, please? 631 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,679 Also, she probably thinks you and me are dating. 632 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,039 I don't think she does, sweetie. 633 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,080 She probably does, so can you make it clear that we're not an item? 634 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,199 Hi, I'm Gabby, I'm a lesbian. 635 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,679 OK. Hello again. 636 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,519 Hi. So, I'm happy to have a picture with you, 637 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,079 but would you do me a favour in return? 638 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,079 Oh. Yeah, sure, w-w-what's that? 639 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,879 Would you go on a date with my platonic friend Greg here? 640 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,000 You don't need to do that if you don't want. 641 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,959 Oh! 642 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:45,320 Come on. 643 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:47,799 Look who's here! 644 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,360 She's coming! Hi! Hi, Gabby! 645 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,600 All right, everyone smile. 646 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,639 DOOR CLOSES 647 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,479 Oh, he's here at last. 648 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,560 CHATTER 649 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,879 Where have you been? Everyone's here. 650 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:11,520 CHATTER STOPS 651 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,800 Would you excuse me for just one minute? 652 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,759 I expect he's gone to wash his hands. 653 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:24,280 DOOR CLOSES 654 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,000 CAR ENGINE STARTS 655 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,159 What do I do instead of Oxford? 656 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,959 Like, in theory, you know, I can do anything, 657 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,879 but, you know, man is nothing without which he makes himself. 658 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,519 Jean-Paul Sartre. 659 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,879 With great power comes great responsibility. 660 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,639 Spider-man. 661 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:18,840 Exactly. There's so much I haven't done or...experienced. 662 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,520 Don't tell anyone, but... 663 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,879 ..I'm still a virgin. 664 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:26,320 Understood. 665 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,319 No, no, no. I don't need one of those. 666 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,279 Yeah, I used to have that attitude, 667 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,199 and then I got super gonorrhoea. 668 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:36,999 Front and back. 669 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,799 No, I mean I'm not having sex tonight. 670 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,639 Oh. Why? Cos you're Muslim? 671 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,239 I'm not a Muslim. 672 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:46,919 No? Well, what are you waiting for, then? 673 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,199 I don't know. 674 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,439 Well, a lot of guys here. 675 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,800 Any of them making your fanny fairies flutter? 676 00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,159 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 677 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:57,879 He's kind of cute. 678 00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,119 Yeah? Yeah, not bad, yeah... 679 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,600 DIANE WHISTLES 680 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,119 Do you like sexual intercourse with women? 681 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:09,239 Yeah. 682 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,839 Good. I want to notify you that we 683 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,599 are both available sexually, OK? 684 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,239 I don't do tea-bagging, golden showers, 685 00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:19,879 or reverse anal, but anything else is up for grabs. 686 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,439 My friend here, however, is new to the market, 687 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,959 so I want her to be treated with care and respect, all right? 688 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,559 And I've got the direct line to Detective Sergeant Lucy Haines 689 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,919 of the Bristol and Avon Constabulary, 690 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,599 so any funny business - ANY funny business - 691 00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,559 and you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 692 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,479 Understood? Understood? 693 00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,359 Yes, ma'am. 694 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:45,639 Good. 695 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,239 We'll be sat here if you want to get some. 696 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:49,560 Go. 697 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,999 Didn't picture you two as club rats. 698 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:08,840 Just needed to get out of the house. Just needed to get out of my flat. 699 00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:13,399 Gabby, can I throw these on your tab? Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. 700 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,679 Perfect. Brilliant. Um, can I grab two more of those? 701 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,319 Do you know all of these people you're buying drinks for? 702 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,159 Greg, I've told you, they're my friends. 703 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,319 What's his name? 704 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,079 James. No, Jason. 705 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,959 Jeremy? 706 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:27,359 Definitely begins with a J. 707 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,999 Julian. His name's Julian. Excuse me, mate, what's your name? 708 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,240 Roy. 709 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:33,879 What's your point? 710 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,719 Is it possible that they're not your actual friends? 711 00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:38,279 Why are they here, then? 712 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,559 Because they're moochers. Sucking on the Gabby teat. 713 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,839 If any of my friends are sucking on my teats, 714 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,559 it's you, Mr £150 An Hour. 715 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,959 I'm not your friend, I'm your lawyer. It's different. 716 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,119 You're not my friend? 717 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,359 Well, no, of course I'm your friend, I just mean... 718 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:54,799 I was fixing you up with Anne-Marie 719 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,439 because I thought you were my friend. 720 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,559 I don't normally help my employees get laid. 721 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,999 Well, I didn't ask you to do that. 722 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,359 Well, fine, let's make a cost saving now, shall we? You're fired! 723 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,759 Gabby, come on! One less mooch sucking on my teat. 724 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,759 Happy now? 725 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,479 You're not serious. Deadly serious! 726 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,360 Go on, get out of here, mooch! 727 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:24,119 I don't need your money! 728 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,400 Go on, mooch! Thank you and goodnight! 729 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,800 Shit. 730 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,520 MUSIC: Incapable by Roisin Murphy 731 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,199 How did it go? 732 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,639 Yeah, I did what you said and he seemed to buy it. 733 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:43,879 Will it work? 734 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,040 Sasquatch Patsy never fails. 735 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,479 Going somewhere? 736 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,479 I'm on the early flight to Rio. 737 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,919 Huh? De Janeiro. 738 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,119 Oh, you're leaving? 739 00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:55,919 Yep. Got a few hours to kill, 740 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,959 then cabbing direct to Heathrow Airport. 741 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,319 Could you let me know when my ride arrives? 742 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:03,759 Yeah, sure. 743 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,839 One more favour. 744 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,399 Deliver this to my daughter. 745 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:09,799 What is that? 746 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,519 It's £1,000, huh? 747 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,999 50 for your trouble. 748 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:18,679 I mean, you could've given that to her yourself before you left. 749 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:22,159 I prefer what they call the Dignitas farewell. 750 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,039 Slip away, no fuss. 751 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:28,039 It's none of my business but if you take off without saying goodbye, 752 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,479 aren't you worried your daughter's going to hate you for it? 753 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,040 Yeah, you're right. 754 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,600 It's none of your business. 755 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,959 Frank, you made it! 756 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:47,159 Hi! Come and dance with me! 757 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,519 Are you drunk? 758 00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,399 Yeah, and I love it. 759 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,999 Gabs, I told you to look after her. She's wasted! 760 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,519 Didn't you hear her? She loves it! 761 00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,480 I love it! 762 00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,120 Oh! 763 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,119 Diane! 764 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,279 THEY LAUGH 765 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,560 Look at you, Diane! Woo! 766 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:16,679 Uh, can you settle up the tab? 767 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,039 Yeah, sure. Hang on. 768 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,040 Thank you. 769 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:23,999 Oh, it's been declined. 770 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,280 What? 771 00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,280 It didn't work either. 772 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,439 Uh, guys... 773 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,839 ..I think my dad has cancelled my credit cards. 774 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,039 Has anyone got any money? 775 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,359 Oh, sorry, babe. No. 776 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,919 No. Sorry. Are you certain, mate? 777 00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,959 Fuck. 778 00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,959 Shit. My dad is such an arsehole. 779 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,679 Let me get this. 780 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:51,959 Thank you. 781 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,119 Oh, Frank, you absolute angel! 782 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,359 Thank you. 783 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,639 God, I wish you were my dad. 784 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,639 Who leaves their only daughter high and dry at one in the morning? 785 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,399 God! 786 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,040 Dick. 787 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,040 MUSIC FADES 788 00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,760 Which one is ours? 789 00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,039 This way. Oh, OK. 790 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:19,079 This way. Go on. 791 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:20,999 I'm focused on the car. 792 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,399 DIANE: Right, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's all right. No need to argue. 793 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,639 We're all going to get a turn. 794 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,439 We just need to rock-paper-scissors for who goes first, all right? 795 00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,240 And we need a safe word, yeah? 796 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:39,879 I've got you down for Heathrow Airport. 797 00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:40,960 Is that right, mate? 798 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:44,999 Mate? 799 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,600 Where do you want to go? 800 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,280 Whoa...! 801 00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:54,279 Kind sir, I...I do like you. 802 00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:58,319 Relax. Woo! Oh, God. 803 00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:02,159 I think you should be going to sleep alone, Rani. I don't think so. 804 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,999 I think we should sleep together. 805 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,559 Goodnight, Rani. 806 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,199 Look. So much room. 807 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,800 Come back. 808 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,599 Dad! 809 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,839 You utter scumbucket, piece of shit, 810 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,599 wanker, bastard, arsehole... 811 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,600 ..shit! SHE SCREAMS 812 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,040 Where's the money, Frank? 813 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,720 I know you found it, but what have you done with it? 814 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,479 Dad, are you just getting home? 815 00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,519 Margie, I'm sorry, I lost track of time. 816 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,639 Well, I'll be honest, I did, erm, start worrying that 817 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:25,959 you'd left us again. 818 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,439 No, Margie, I'm here for the long haul. 819 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,120 In fact, around here it's about time I contributed. 820 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,239 How about I start by paying off your mortgage? 821 00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:37,159 SHE LAUGHS Sorrym that is... 822 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,119 ..that's really sweet but, I mean, you can't even pay a parking ticket. 823 00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:41,360 Yeah? 824 00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:49,879 Where did you get all this money? 825 00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,680 For once in my life, I'm going to come clean. 826 00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:59,839 I won it. 827 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,120 Casino. 828 00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,640 Oh, Frank! 829 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,039 You're drunk. 830 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:30,200 No, I'm not. 831 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,399 That's what drunk people say. 832 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,679 No, I'm sober. 833 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:37,040 I promise. 834 00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:48,600 MUSIC: All Time by A.S. Fanning 835 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,479 Is that... 836 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,759 ..Raphael or Donatello...? 837 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:06,879 Yeah, that's my guy Donnie. 838 00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:08,719 Ninja Turtles. 839 00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:10,519 What? OK. SHE LAUGHS 840 00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,039 What's...? What? Don't judge me. 841 00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,039 No. It's all good. You know they're wavy. 842 00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,120 Yep. Very wavy. 843 00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,239 Wait. 844 00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:22,919 Are you sure you want to do this? 845 00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,079 Yeah. 846 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:25,440 No, are you sure? 847 00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:28,800 Yes. 848 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,279 Where did you get that? 849 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:32,759 Diane. 850 00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,959 Please don't talk about Diane right now! 851 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:40,040 # You know I'm happy to be your friend 852 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:44,279 # Till the leaves or the stars descend 853 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,040 # But I'm there, I'm here 854 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,879 # And I'm 16, standing, holding two cans of beer... # 855 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:54,999 Ugh, so my dad has changed all the locks 856 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,079 and I don't have anywhere to sleep tonight 857 00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,439 and, look, I know you've got that spare room... 858 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,759 No, I did not nearly burn down the flat last time! 859 00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,359 I lit some tea candles then went to Ibiza! 860 00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:06,320 Hi, is this Izzy's phone? 861 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:09,440 Oh, my God, why is she in hospital?! 862 00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:12,399 Gallstones? 863 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,119 So you're saying that you're not happy sharing your flat 864 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,479 but you are happy sharing my cocaine all night? 865 00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,239 So if Izzy's in hospital, does that mean her flat's empty tonight? 866 00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:23,959 Hey, you. It's Gabby Penrose-Howe. 867 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:25,799 We slept together on New Year's Eve. 868 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,439 Listen, look, I know I said I'd call and I didn't, 869 00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,039 but I'm calling now. 870 00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,839 Fancy sleeping together again tonight? 871 00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:34,239 Give me a call when you get this. 872 00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:35,439 Ciao! 873 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,679 Hi, this is Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe. 874 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,359 We met at the club earlier. 875 00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,319 I don't suppose you've got a sofa or anything that 876 00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,919 I could crash on tonight? 877 00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:46,999 Oh, no, I got your name from the receipt. 878 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,679 Yeah, it's just under suggested gratuity, 879 00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:54,760 which you may recall I did give you in full, in cash. 880 00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:07,640 SHE SIGHS 881 00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:10,279 You OK? 882 00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,479 Yeah. 883 00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:13,199 Now I'm a woman of the world. 884 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,040 HE LAUGHS 885 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,399 You're wondering what all the fuss was about? 886 00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,200 Actually, I'm thinking it was worth waiting for. 887 00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:25,919 Thank you...for being... 888 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,839 It's... Thank you. 889 00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:29,320 KNOCK AT DOOR 890 00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,040 OK, fuck, fuck, fuck...! 891 00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:37,159 Esme... What were you doing out so late? 892 00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:38,839 It's four in the morning. 893 00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:40,639 Esme, it's four... 894 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,719 HE YELLS 895 00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:44,960 GRUNTING 896 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:55,480 SHE SCREAMS No! 897 00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,000 KNOCKING 898 00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:12,399 Hi. 899 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,239 You were right. 900 00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:15,920 I have no real friends. 901 00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,440 I don't have anywhere else to go. 902 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,199 You better come in, then. 903 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,440 Thank you. 904 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,279 I've had a gun pointed in my face twice, yeah? 905 00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:43,199 Well, not again. 906 00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:44,439 I want to get clean, man. 907 00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,559 I want you to put me in rehab and witness protection. 908 00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:47,639 Tell us what you know. 909 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,719 I ain't saying nothing till I get full immunity and rehoused, 910 00:52:50,720 --> 00:52:53,239 and I want to go somewhere nice, you know, in the countryside, 911 00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:55,399 with fields and cows and shit. 912 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,879 We can't ask our boss for fields and cows and shit 913 00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,239 unless you give us something. 914 00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:03,400 Like the men who were serving up from your house. Oh... 915 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,200 Have you head of someone called The Dean? 916 00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:31,879 Oh, bloody hell. I thought you was detectives. 917 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:33,759 Hey! 918 00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:35,360 Tell us about The Dean. 919 00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:40,239 The Dean runs county lines into Bristol. 920 00:53:40,240 --> 00:53:43,880 For years he's been grooming local kids to work for him. 921 00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,440 Well, from what I've heard, he's a savage. 922 00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,880 And I mean proper psycho. 923 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:53,840 Tea, anyone? 924 00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,479 You're Ben, 925 00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:09,960 nightclub doorman. 926 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:12,879 And you're Rani, 927 00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:15,559 a brainbox with a scholarship to Oxford. 928 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:16,999 I know who you are. 929 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,319 I know where you live. 930 00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:20,159 I know everything about you. 931 00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:21,999 Do you know who I am? 932 00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:23,039 No? 933 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:27,559 I'm the person you stole that impossible amount of money from. 934 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,599 And somehow you assumed I wouldn't find out. 935 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,199 We never stole anything. 936 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:33,520 He's right. 937 00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,599 Well, instead of me accusing you and then you denying, 938 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,080 why don't I bring my star witness to the stand? 939 00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,399 What are you do...? You sold me out, you prick?! 940 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,399 What did you expect? 941 00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:50,999 You treat me like dirt. 942 00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,199 You show man no respect. 943 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,559 Is this about the pizza box? 944 00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,079 I told you, you can't recycle them when they're dirty, bruv. 945 00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:57,359 It's not just that, bro. 946 00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:58,759 You're small fry. 947 00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:01,039 There's no career progression with you. 948 00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:02,279 I've hit a ceiling. 949 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,999 Yeah? You hit a ceiling with your head when you flew out 950 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,919 your mum's gaping vagina. That's why you're so fucking dumb! 951 00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,679 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 952 00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:12,759 Hey, relax. 953 00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,519 All right? 954 00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:16,360 Take a seat. Sit down. 955 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,360 Put your feet up. 956 00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,200 Biscuit? 957 00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:37,279 I hate thieves. 958 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:38,559 Do you know why? 959 00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:40,799 Because they're lazy. 960 00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,559 A businessman like myself works hard for years, 961 00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:45,079 building a nest egg. 962 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,319 And then some wanker who'd rather sit on his arse that do 963 00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:53,199 a decent day's work thinks he can just breeze in and take it all. 964 00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,320 Hmm? 965 00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,800 The only thing I hate more than thieves... 966 00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:02,559 ..are snitches. 967 00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,559 Snitches are like whores. 968 00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:08,199 They'll open their mouths to anyone for the right price. 969 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,919 HE SCREAMS 970 00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:13,239 You broke my leg, man! Yeah, I know. 971 00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:15,919 You broke my fucking leg! I know! 972 00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:17,399 I need a hospital, man! 973 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,839 Yeah. Mile End Hospital is a 20-minute walk. 974 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:21,919 How am I meant to walk with a broken leg?! 975 00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:23,519 Very slowly, I imagine. 976 00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:25,319 Fuck off, snitch! 977 00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:28,879 HE MOANS IN PAIN 978 00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:31,839 Now, just so there are no surprises, let me just make myself 979 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:33,639 very, very clear. 980 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,639 One of you is not leaving here alive. 981 00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:38,479 Ain't no need for all that, bro. 982 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,639 But there is a need for that, bro, 983 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:42,839 cos I need to set a fucking example. 984 00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,159 Stop! We'll give you the money back! 985 00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:46,479 We'll pay the money back! 986 00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:48,839 It's too late for that. Please! We'll pay it back and more! 987 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:50,719 More? Please... More? 988 00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:53,239 Please, just, you can't kill him, please! 989 00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:54,759 No. Not interested. 990 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,199 We'll... What? 991 00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:58,199 We'll wash it for you. Wash it? Wash it. 992 00:56:58,200 --> 00:56:59,439 How are you going to do that? 993 00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:02,959 I, erm, know someone, a dodgy lawyer. A dodgy lawyer? 994 00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:05,919 Please... Have you soiled yourself, cos I smell bullshit? 995 00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:08,559 No, its not bullshit! Please, please, give us... 996 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,639 ..eight weeks. Eight weeks? Please! 997 00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:14,719 How are you going to make that kind of bread in eight weeks? 998 00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:18,720 Because I'm a brainbox with a scholarship to Oxford. 999 00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:29,200 HE GASPS 1000 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,040 HE COUGHS 1001 00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:45,640 Gingernut? 1002 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,040 MUSIC: Far From Any Road by The Handsome Family 1003 00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:03,079 # She twines her spines up slowly 1004 00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:06,959 # Towards the boiling sun 1005 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:10,879 # And when I touched her skin 1006 00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:15,280 # My fingers ran with blood. #