1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,683 You'll repay your debt to society 2 00:00:03,683 --> 00:00:06,403 by working the number of hours mandated by the court. 3 00:00:08,803 --> 00:00:10,443 We found it, we're entitled to it. 4 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:14,283 Are you citing the legal precedent "finders keeper, losers weepers"? 5 00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,723 HE SIGHS 6 00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,723 Don't worry, ma'am. I've got eyes in the back of my head. 7 00:00:25,723 --> 00:00:29,203 I have this cupboard in my office. I call it the Cupboard of Chaos. 8 00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:31,403 I gave your cupboard a little spring clean. 9 00:00:33,843 --> 00:00:35,923 You pissed my company down the drain! 10 00:00:35,923 --> 00:00:38,443 I didn't piss anything, OK? I'm saving it! 11 00:00:38,443 --> 00:00:39,883 I love you, Dad. 12 00:00:39,883 --> 00:00:42,643 I spent 18 months in a prison cell. 13 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:46,963 I'm not spending my last few years in another one! 14 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,963 PC Colin Denison died in that fire. 15 00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,563 The guilt won't go away. 16 00:00:58,323 --> 00:01:00,523 Find my money and whoever took it 17 00:01:00,523 --> 00:01:04,683 because now I have to kill either them or you just to make a point. 18 00:01:41,043 --> 00:01:43,363 PANICKED BREATHING 19 00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,283 CAR DOOR CLOSES 20 00:02:14,283 --> 00:02:16,603 PANICKED BREATHING 21 00:02:32,843 --> 00:02:34,563 KNOCKING ON DOOR 22 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,763 I'm in trouble. I need your help. 23 00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:43,643 Please. 24 00:02:45,523 --> 00:02:46,643 Esme... 25 00:02:47,843 --> 00:02:50,203 ..we've got something to tell you. 26 00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:52,483 Oh, my God. Did you get her pregnant? 27 00:02:52,483 --> 00:02:54,203 No. No! 28 00:02:54,203 --> 00:02:55,723 We're friends. Yeah, pals. 29 00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:58,323 Anyway, erm, Rani's going to be staying with us for a bit. 30 00:02:58,323 --> 00:02:59,763 Are the feds after you? 31 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:03,923 No, I...I just got into a massive fight with my parents. 32 00:03:03,923 --> 00:03:06,643 I told them I didn't want to go to Oxford and I left. 33 00:03:06,643 --> 00:03:08,843 Oh. So, your first thought was to come here 34 00:03:08,843 --> 00:03:10,363 cos we've got so much space? 35 00:03:10,363 --> 00:03:12,043 Come on, Es. We owe her. 36 00:03:12,043 --> 00:03:14,323 Maybe. But she's not having my bed. 37 00:03:14,323 --> 00:03:16,203 Don't worry, you can...you can take my bed. 38 00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:17,483 No, no, 39 00:03:17,483 --> 00:03:20,003 I can't throw you out of your own bed. 40 00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:21,803 Or you two could share. 41 00:03:21,803 --> 00:03:22,963 No. 42 00:03:22,963 --> 00:03:25,243 No, I'm... I'm.... No. I'm going stay in here. 43 00:03:25,243 --> 00:03:27,123 Right. Uh, make yourself comfy. Mm-hm. 44 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,643 I'm making food. Do you want some? Love some. 45 00:03:34,683 --> 00:03:36,003 I see you. 46 00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:37,163 Sorry, you see me? 47 00:03:37,163 --> 00:03:39,763 Trying to get in my brother's Ninja Turtle boxers. 48 00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:42,723 WHISPERING: I'm not trying to get into your brother's anything. 49 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,883 I left home, Es. 50 00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:45,723 Hey, Ran. Yep. 51 00:03:45,723 --> 00:03:47,283 Are you ready to try this, yeah? 52 00:03:47,283 --> 00:03:50,243 Oh, God. It's my grandma's recipe. OK. Are you ready? Yeah. 53 00:03:52,163 --> 00:03:53,763 Oh, my God, that's amazing! 54 00:03:53,763 --> 00:03:54,843 Yeah? Mm. 55 00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:57,843 You sure? Yeah. God, you should open a restaurant or something. 56 00:03:57,843 --> 00:04:00,283 That is so yummy. Yeah, maybe I will. 57 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,283 Maybe you should eat in one first. 58 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,763 I've eaten in restaurants. 59 00:04:03,763 --> 00:04:05,403 Only ones with photos on the menu. 60 00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:07,923 Ain't you got something else to be doing? 61 00:04:07,923 --> 00:04:11,763 "Ohh, that's amazing! You should open a restaurant!" 62 00:04:11,763 --> 00:04:13,963 I didn't say it like that. 63 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:16,043 You definitely said it like that. No, I didn't! 64 00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:18,643 You did. I didn't. You did. No, I didn't. You did. No. 65 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:26,403 DOORBELL RINGS 66 00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:29,763 Hello, Your Ladyship. We're here to film the commercial. 67 00:04:29,763 --> 00:04:31,963 For social media. 68 00:04:31,963 --> 00:04:33,643 I thought that was on Wednesday. 69 00:04:33,643 --> 00:04:35,243 It is Wednesday. 70 00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:38,443 Great. 71 00:04:40,763 --> 00:04:42,323 DOOR CLOSES 72 00:04:48,563 --> 00:04:50,563 COUGHING 73 00:04:57,963 --> 00:04:59,323 What? 74 00:04:59,323 --> 00:05:02,003 It was...someone's birthday. 75 00:05:08,803 --> 00:05:12,083 Steve, sorry. Erm, this is Lesley. I know you spoke on the phone. 76 00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:13,123 Hi. 77 00:06:12,523 --> 00:06:15,563 Do you think I'm stupid enough to hide the money in my bedroom, Frank? 78 00:06:15,563 --> 00:06:17,363 I mean, come on. Would you do that? 79 00:06:17,363 --> 00:06:20,283 You made your point, Tommy, but let's stop playing. 80 00:06:20,283 --> 00:06:23,843 What's a teenage boy going to spend all that money on? 81 00:06:23,843 --> 00:06:25,163 Pornography? 82 00:06:25,163 --> 00:06:28,083 Why would I pay for porn? It's free on the internet. 83 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,323 It is? 84 00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:31,883 You shouldn't have hidden the money back in the attic, Frank. 85 00:06:31,883 --> 00:06:34,003 It was lazy. So, to teach you a lesson, 86 00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:35,963 I'm going to use it to pay off Mum's mortgage. 87 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:39,083 You know, you can't just walk into your mom's bank and hand it over. 88 00:06:39,083 --> 00:06:40,443 You have to wash it first. 89 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,283 What, like, clean off the fingerprints? 90 00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:44,523 You must've heard of washing money, laundering money 91 00:06:44,523 --> 00:06:47,403 to make it look like you earned it legitimately. 92 00:06:47,403 --> 00:06:49,563 What do they teach you at that school? 93 00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:51,043 How do you wash money? 94 00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:54,563 Smurfing. Offshore shell companies. Casinos are good. 95 00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:56,003 Why? 96 00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:59,163 You walk into a casino, you buy chips with the cash. 97 00:06:59,163 --> 00:07:01,763 You play for a while, you cash in the chips, 98 00:07:01,763 --> 00:07:03,403 you get paid by cheque. 99 00:07:03,403 --> 00:07:07,123 Now your money looks like legitimate winnings. 100 00:07:07,123 --> 00:07:09,043 Fine, I'll take it to a casino. 101 00:07:09,043 --> 00:07:12,803 Great. You just have to wait till you turn 18 in two years' time. 102 00:07:12,803 --> 00:07:15,123 Or we could split the money fairly. 103 00:07:15,123 --> 00:07:17,603 Say 80-20. 104 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,323 You're not getting the money back. 105 00:07:19,323 --> 00:07:22,363 But, uh, here's your plane ticket to Rio. 106 00:07:22,363 --> 00:07:25,963 We both know you don't love Mum, you don't love me or Holly. 107 00:07:25,963 --> 00:07:27,723 Your tag comes off tomorrow, so... 108 00:07:29,363 --> 00:07:30,683 ..take it and go. 109 00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:36,083 I loved making my own fizzy drinks as a kid, 110 00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:39,843 and this new deluxe at-home soda maker takes me right back 111 00:07:39,843 --> 00:07:41,723 to being just eight years old. 112 00:07:43,643 --> 00:07:45,883 Just choose the flavour of your choice... 113 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,963 SODA MACHINE HISSES 114 00:07:47,963 --> 00:07:49,883 ..and voila. 115 00:07:49,883 --> 00:07:51,523 SODA FIZZES AND SPRAYS 116 00:07:51,523 --> 00:07:53,683 Oh! Fizzy cunt! Fuck! 117 00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:55,163 Was that OK, darling? 118 00:07:55,163 --> 00:07:57,443 Erm, I'm not sure the client will be totally happy 119 00:07:57,443 --> 00:08:00,003 with you calling their product the C word. 120 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,323 Do you want to call and check? 121 00:08:01,323 --> 00:08:03,163 Could we just go one more time? 122 00:08:03,163 --> 00:08:05,043 Really? 123 00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:08,843 This new deluxe at-home soda maker takes me right back 124 00:08:08,843 --> 00:08:10,323 to being eight years old. 125 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,323 Mm, delicious! 126 00:08:18,363 --> 00:08:19,643 I think we got it. 127 00:08:19,643 --> 00:08:22,163 Uh, we did but there was a naked man in the shot. 128 00:08:22,163 --> 00:08:23,763 So could we just go again? 129 00:08:23,763 --> 00:08:25,603 No, that was a really good one. Yeah, it was, 130 00:08:25,603 --> 00:08:27,723 but, uh, I'm not sure the client will be happy 131 00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:30,883 with a commercial aimed at kids featuring an actual man's penis. 132 00:08:30,883 --> 00:08:32,283 Well, just take it out with GCI. 133 00:08:32,283 --> 00:08:35,523 We don't have the budget for CGI. This is for Instagram. 134 00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:36,883 One more time, please? 135 00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,683 I mean, who even buys these things? 136 00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:40,683 Who has ever drunk a can of Coke and thought, 137 00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:43,443 "Ooh, yeah, I like that, but damn, I wish I was more involved 138 00:08:43,443 --> 00:08:45,323 "in the manufacturing process"? 139 00:08:45,323 --> 00:08:48,003 One more time for luck? 140 00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:50,443 I loved making my own fizzy drinks as a kid, 141 00:08:50,443 --> 00:08:53,803 and this new deluxe at-home soda maker takes me right back 142 00:08:53,803 --> 00:08:55,283 to being six years old, 143 00:08:55,283 --> 00:08:57,123 the year my mother killed herself. 144 00:08:58,603 --> 00:09:00,603 Get in, you bastard! 145 00:09:00,603 --> 00:09:02,523 I think you've got it in the wrong way. 146 00:09:05,483 --> 00:09:07,003 SHE SCREAMS 147 00:09:11,603 --> 00:09:13,003 I think we've got it. 148 00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,643 From my analysis, your production model is the weak link. 149 00:09:17,643 --> 00:09:18,803 It's old-fashioned. 150 00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:21,243 Now, I've identified ways to ramp up profitability, 151 00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:23,083 but it will involve a radical overhaul 152 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:24,483 of how things are done here. 153 00:09:24,483 --> 00:09:28,563 How things are done here is how they've been done for 40 years. 154 00:09:28,563 --> 00:09:31,483 Your son tells me he's negotiated a possible partnership 155 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,603 with a competitor, uh, Hilgard Auto Frictions. 156 00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,363 My son knows I'll be six foot under 157 00:09:35,363 --> 00:09:37,723 before I do any business with Graham Hilgard. 158 00:09:37,723 --> 00:09:39,483 Given the state of your finances, 159 00:09:39,483 --> 00:09:43,283 it's an idea that needs serious consideration. 160 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,243 Lesley, is it? 161 00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:47,643 Can I speak privately with my son for a moment? 162 00:09:57,323 --> 00:09:59,083 Trouble-shooters, huh? 163 00:09:59,083 --> 00:10:01,083 Another one of your masterplans. 164 00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,803 Like taking stolen money. 165 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,043 She's a business enhancement specialist, Dad. 166 00:10:05,043 --> 00:10:08,723 And she says that a company like ours that isn't progressing 167 00:10:08,723 --> 00:10:10,803 is regressing. 168 00:10:10,803 --> 00:10:12,083 She's right. 169 00:10:13,123 --> 00:10:14,803 There is a weak link here. 170 00:10:19,643 --> 00:10:21,483 But it's not the production model. 171 00:10:26,883 --> 00:10:29,523 They're refusing to pay me for the advert! 172 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:31,523 Well, yes, because as brand ambassador, 173 00:10:31,523 --> 00:10:33,363 your contract states that you will refrain 174 00:10:33,363 --> 00:10:36,003 from offensive remarks or conduct. I did. 175 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:39,643 You smashed up their soda maker, then called it a C bomb! 176 00:10:39,643 --> 00:10:41,923 Hold the lift, please! 177 00:10:41,923 --> 00:10:43,763 That's the lady I told you about. 178 00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,083 The one you like? Yeah, what do I do? 179 00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:47,243 Be yourself. 180 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,803 Thanks, Greg. Oh, no problem, Anne-Marie. Which floor? 181 00:10:52,803 --> 00:10:54,963 We work on the same floor. 182 00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:56,723 Oh! THEY LAUGH 183 00:10:58,603 --> 00:11:01,323 Good for you for cycling to work. That's very healthy. 184 00:11:01,323 --> 00:11:03,243 No, no, it's a bad idea. 185 00:11:03,243 --> 00:11:05,203 I'm sweating so much, I need another shower now. 186 00:11:05,203 --> 00:11:07,923 Oh. Oh, yeah. You don't want to get a yeast infection. 187 00:11:07,923 --> 00:11:09,203 No. 188 00:11:11,523 --> 00:11:14,723 I just mean from wearing the same sweaty clothes all day. 189 00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:19,763 You know, can create humid crotch conditions. 190 00:11:21,763 --> 00:11:27,003 Leading to a build-up of fungus in your...vaginal cavity. 191 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,003 LIFT DINGS 192 00:11:32,003 --> 00:11:33,483 See you later. See you later. 193 00:11:34,483 --> 00:11:36,323 Smooth. 194 00:11:36,323 --> 00:11:37,803 Really smooth. 195 00:11:44,363 --> 00:11:47,163 Ah, thanking you, Greg-a-leg-a-ding-dong. 196 00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:50,123 That's so sweet. You collect his dry cleaning for him? 197 00:11:50,123 --> 00:11:51,643 Yeah, we have a little quid pro quo. 198 00:11:51,643 --> 00:11:53,923 He scratches my back and I don't send him to prison. 199 00:11:53,923 --> 00:11:56,003 He's a joker. Ignore him. 200 00:11:56,003 --> 00:11:59,083 Come on, then, Greg, when are you going to ask Anne-Marie out? Sh! 201 00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:00,883 Anne-Marie? You absolute horndog. 202 00:12:00,883 --> 00:12:03,683 I'm not asking anybody out, all right? It's against company policy. 203 00:12:03,683 --> 00:12:05,883 I don't care, Greg. I can smell office romance. 204 00:12:05,883 --> 00:12:07,843 Er, no, you can smell Greg's aftershave. 205 00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:09,523 "Lonely by Paco Rabanne." 206 00:12:09,523 --> 00:12:10,723 Hey, I think it's romantic 207 00:12:10,723 --> 00:12:12,963 that a woman you work with might be your next wife. 208 00:12:12,963 --> 00:12:17,163 No, no, his next wife is a Latvian conman posing as a swimwear model. 209 00:12:17,163 --> 00:12:20,283 What about the commercial, all right? You need a payday. 210 00:12:20,283 --> 00:12:22,923 Let's sue them. You can't afford to sue them, all right? 211 00:12:22,923 --> 00:12:24,843 Your father's frozen your allowance. 212 00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:25,883 What? Since when? 213 00:12:25,883 --> 00:12:27,883 Since you ruined his lawn with your car! 214 00:12:27,883 --> 00:12:30,643 Oh, for God's sake! It's only grass, it'll grow back. 215 00:12:30,643 --> 00:12:32,843 The Bank of Daddy is closed, Your Ladyship, all right? 216 00:12:32,843 --> 00:12:35,283 You need to cut down on your outgoings. Why? 217 00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:37,443 Why? Cos you're spending like a crazy person! 218 00:12:37,443 --> 00:12:39,803 Look at this - bar bills, restaurant bills. 219 00:12:39,803 --> 00:12:41,923 You've been buying clothes and bags 220 00:12:41,923 --> 00:12:43,883 and a Tempur-Pedic cat bed! 221 00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:45,323 A Gucci skateboard? 222 00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:46,723 You've bought two wet suits! 223 00:12:46,723 --> 00:12:48,163 One of them is formal. 224 00:12:48,163 --> 00:12:50,003 Six grand on Uber Eats! 225 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,923 For a year, that's fine! 226 00:12:51,923 --> 00:12:53,243 That was August! 227 00:12:53,243 --> 00:12:55,083 £580 on tarot readings! 228 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:58,043 I am not cutting out Madame Orion. She sees things. 229 00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,763 Has she seen that you'll be bankrupt by Christmas? 230 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,763 No, she bloody hasn't! 231 00:13:02,763 --> 00:13:04,403 All right, fine, ditch the bitch. 232 00:13:04,403 --> 00:13:07,163 I will try and cut back on my spending. 233 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:08,563 But meanwhile... 234 00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:11,723 ..what's your next move? 235 00:13:11,723 --> 00:13:13,963 To the kitchen to make me tea and toast. 236 00:13:17,723 --> 00:13:20,363 Oh, and spread the jam right to the edges this time. 237 00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:26,803 I can't believe he does that for you. What a sweet guy. 238 00:13:26,803 --> 00:13:28,203 Isn't he? 239 00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:34,203 This is called a beep test. 240 00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:35,483 BEEP 241 00:13:35,483 --> 00:13:38,683 It is used to test the aerobic capacity 242 00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:41,323 of trainee PCSOs like myself. 243 00:13:41,323 --> 00:13:42,683 What's a PCSO? 244 00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:44,283 A Police Community Support Officer. 245 00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:45,443 Uniformed civilians. 246 00:13:45,443 --> 00:13:48,483 Like a supply teacher, but with less authority and respect. 247 00:13:48,483 --> 00:13:51,363 Not true. We provide a reassuring presence on the street 248 00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:54,483 and tackle the scourge of antisocial behaviour, 249 00:13:54,483 --> 00:13:57,683 working alongside the police. The real police. 250 00:13:57,683 --> 00:13:59,403 Can you arrest someone? 251 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,683 No. Do you carry handcuffs? 252 00:14:01,683 --> 00:14:04,083 No. Can you investigate a crime? 253 00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:05,803 No. Can you Taser someone? 254 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,723 Look, if you've got questions, Google 'em. 255 00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,123 BEEP Oh, shit. 256 00:14:10,123 --> 00:14:12,123 You're barely out of short trousers, 257 00:14:12,123 --> 00:14:15,683 where does a teenager hide something they don't want a parent to find? 258 00:14:15,683 --> 00:14:16,883 Well, my mum's an addict, 259 00:14:16,883 --> 00:14:18,803 so she was the one hiding stuff from me. 260 00:14:18,803 --> 00:14:20,883 First time I stole anything, 261 00:14:20,883 --> 00:14:23,403 I was so paranoid my parents would find out, 262 00:14:23,403 --> 00:14:25,243 I didn't even bring it home. 263 00:14:25,243 --> 00:14:26,723 So, where'd you stash it? 264 00:14:26,723 --> 00:14:28,483 My locker. At school. 265 00:14:28,483 --> 00:14:29,803 Oh. Hmm. BEEP 266 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:32,563 Notice how the beeps... 267 00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:34,843 ..are getting closer and 268 00:14:34,843 --> 00:14:37,163 closer together... BEEP 269 00:14:37,163 --> 00:14:40,603 ..but my pace has not slowed. BEEP 270 00:14:40,603 --> 00:14:42,963 So do I need to be buying a hat? 271 00:14:42,963 --> 00:14:44,803 Do you need a hat? 272 00:14:44,803 --> 00:14:46,923 I mean for your wedding. 273 00:14:48,523 --> 00:14:50,483 What? No! We're just friends. 274 00:14:50,483 --> 00:14:53,003 Who are living together. 275 00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:54,923 What? As lovers? 276 00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:58,163 No. As roommates. It's temporary. 277 00:14:58,163 --> 00:15:01,363 Yeah, well, my mum moved her boyfriend in temporarily, 278 00:15:01,363 --> 00:15:05,323 so she said, and Trevor has been stinking out the bathroom 279 00:15:05,323 --> 00:15:07,083 for months now. BEEP 280 00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:09,123 Ah. Ah! 281 00:15:09,123 --> 00:15:11,523 Ah! Oh! 282 00:15:11,523 --> 00:15:14,123 Right. Who wants a go at the beep test? 283 00:15:14,123 --> 00:15:16,083 I'm fine. A no on the beep testing, thank you. 284 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,003 All right, fine. Good luck with all your heart disease. 285 00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:20,643 BLOWS WHISTLE 286 00:15:20,643 --> 00:15:24,723 OK, back to it. You still all have lots of hours to work off. 287 00:15:27,283 --> 00:15:29,923 Oi, you two. Come here. 288 00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:32,243 So, as trainee PCSO, 289 00:15:32,243 --> 00:15:33,803 that business with your sister 290 00:15:33,803 --> 00:15:35,723 is the last time I turn any more blind eyes. 291 00:15:35,723 --> 00:15:37,243 Any more trouble from the two of you, 292 00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:39,163 and it's no more Mrs Nice Guy. 293 00:15:39,163 --> 00:15:42,323 If you feel yourself being pulled to the dark side, 294 00:15:42,323 --> 00:15:45,443 talk to me. Yeah? Believe it or not, 295 00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:47,883 I used to be a bad girl with a hot boyfriend like you. 296 00:15:47,883 --> 00:15:49,003 He's not my boyfriend. 297 00:15:49,003 --> 00:15:52,083 Massimo was the hottest boy in school. 298 00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:53,483 Everyone was jealous. 299 00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:55,563 They were like, "Diane, how did you bag 300 00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,203 "that smoking-hot piece of tail?" 301 00:15:57,203 --> 00:16:00,723 Three words - charisma and cider. 302 00:16:00,723 --> 00:16:02,683 Massimo had a mantra - 303 00:16:02,683 --> 00:16:05,403 "Live fast, die young, 304 00:16:05,403 --> 00:16:08,003 "leave a good-looking corpse." 305 00:16:08,003 --> 00:16:09,443 Which he did. 306 00:16:09,443 --> 00:16:12,403 Massimo died? Yeah. He was driving a stolen car, 307 00:16:12,403 --> 00:16:15,523 being chased by police, crashed into a building site. 308 00:16:15,523 --> 00:16:18,203 Scaffolding pole went right through his brain. 309 00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:20,963 To be honest, he did not leave a good-looking corpse. 310 00:16:20,963 --> 00:16:25,803 But that woke me up and I turned my life around 360 degrees. 311 00:16:25,803 --> 00:16:27,643 Doesn't that leave you where you started? 312 00:16:27,643 --> 00:16:29,083 No, not me. 313 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,123 I'm paying it forward, 314 00:16:32,123 --> 00:16:33,923 giving you both a second chance, yeah? 315 00:16:33,923 --> 00:16:37,443 So the rest of your life starts right here, 316 00:16:37,443 --> 00:16:39,283 right now. Yeah? 317 00:16:40,803 --> 00:16:42,883 Right after you pick up that dog shit. 318 00:16:58,203 --> 00:16:59,843 HE IMITATES GUNFIRE 319 00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,323 Greg, what are you doing?! He's threatening to kill us! 320 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,003 I thought he was flirting. 321 00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:07,723 Do you reckon he's after that money? 322 00:17:07,723 --> 00:17:09,083 What money? 323 00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:20,243 When I stole the line, I also stole some money. 324 00:17:20,243 --> 00:17:21,563 Why didn't you tell me this? 325 00:17:21,563 --> 00:17:23,523 The less you know, the less you're involved. 326 00:17:23,523 --> 00:17:26,083 WHISPERING: I was chased by men with machetes. 327 00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:27,683 I'm already involved. 328 00:17:27,683 --> 00:17:29,883 Wait, you stole the money? I thought it was yours. 329 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,283 Why would I have that much money? 330 00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:32,683 Because you're a drug dealer? 331 00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:35,403 Why is he automatically a drug dealer? What, because he's black? 332 00:17:35,403 --> 00:17:38,083 Because he had hundreds of thousands of pounds in a bag! 333 00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:41,203 Plus he threatened me. Right? With a real gun. 334 00:17:41,203 --> 00:17:43,843 Not just his fingers. Look, I'm not saying he's not a criminal, 335 00:17:43,843 --> 00:17:45,483 but why does he have to be a drug dealer? 336 00:17:45,483 --> 00:17:48,603 Why can't he be doing tax evasion or...or art fraud? 337 00:17:48,603 --> 00:17:51,603 Hmm. You've been painting fake Vermeers, have you? 338 00:17:53,603 --> 00:17:56,603 Where did you get hundreds of thousands of pounds from? 339 00:17:56,603 --> 00:17:58,243 A drug dealer. 340 00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,603 You fucking fuck! 341 00:17:59,603 --> 00:18:01,363 GREG: You stole money from a drug dealer?! 342 00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:04,043 Now we're going to wind up in the desert, digging our own graves! 343 00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:06,763 There are no deserts in England. Well, then... Minehead Beach. 344 00:18:06,763 --> 00:18:08,803 I told you that it was dirty money. 345 00:18:08,803 --> 00:18:10,563 You still took it, though, didn't you? 346 00:18:10,563 --> 00:18:13,523 You took it? Not just me. Them too. 347 00:18:13,523 --> 00:18:16,523 So j-just return the money, then. 348 00:18:16,523 --> 00:18:18,123 What? 349 00:18:18,123 --> 00:18:20,363 We, uh...we spent it. 350 00:18:20,363 --> 00:18:24,603 You've already spent hundreds of thousands of pounds? 351 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,483 I didn't. 352 00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:28,483 OK, at least one of us isn't a total idiot. 353 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,443 My grandson stole my cut. 354 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,603 I withdraw my last remark. 355 00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:34,523 Did...did you spend yours, too? 356 00:18:34,523 --> 00:18:35,803 They didn't give me any money. 357 00:18:35,803 --> 00:18:37,923 They just blackmailed me into washing it for them. 358 00:18:37,923 --> 00:18:40,803 What does that mean? Is that getting the fingerprints off? 359 00:18:40,803 --> 00:18:44,443 It means you launder it so it looks like it was earned legally. 360 00:18:44,443 --> 00:18:46,963 Don't kids in Britain learn this stuff? 361 00:18:46,963 --> 00:18:49,523 I can't believe I'm the only person who didn't know about this. 362 00:18:49,523 --> 00:18:51,523 You're not the only one. 363 00:18:51,523 --> 00:18:53,603 Hey, guys, what are we talking about? 364 00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,483 FRANK: Laundry. 365 00:18:55,483 --> 00:18:58,483 Cool. So, I don't know how familiar you guys are 366 00:18:58,483 --> 00:19:01,963 with the movement of the Sun, but tomorrow night is the Solstice. 367 00:19:01,963 --> 00:19:05,283 So, I am heading to Ergo, and I want you all there, OK? 368 00:19:05,283 --> 00:19:06,963 Diane is in. Not to be missed, then. 369 00:19:06,963 --> 00:19:08,443 Drinks are on me, no excuses. 370 00:19:08,443 --> 00:19:11,083 Come on. Let's get ancient. 371 00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:16,643 What are we going to do?! 372 00:19:16,643 --> 00:19:18,163 We could pop down for one drink. 373 00:19:18,163 --> 00:19:20,723 Not the club, the drug dealer! 374 00:19:20,723 --> 00:19:24,723 Have you heard of a con called The Sasquatch Patsy? 375 00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:30,003 No. What do they teach in your schools? 376 00:19:31,563 --> 00:19:32,803 BEEP 377 00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:34,523 Ah! 378 00:19:34,523 --> 00:19:36,923 HEAVY BREATHING 379 00:19:36,923 --> 00:19:38,683 BEEP 380 00:19:58,443 --> 00:20:00,003 My keys are gone. 381 00:20:00,003 --> 00:20:01,523 Have you looked in your bag? 382 00:20:01,523 --> 00:20:03,083 They're not in there. 383 00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:04,603 My man. 384 00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:06,843 What about your pockets? 385 00:20:06,843 --> 00:20:09,723 Why are things always in the last place you look? 386 00:20:09,723 --> 00:20:12,523 Thank you. Because you stop looking after you find them. 387 00:20:12,523 --> 00:20:14,843 Grandpa is going to take you to school today, 388 00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:16,443 so just give me a hug. 389 00:20:16,443 --> 00:20:18,803 Or don't. And learn lots. Mwah! 390 00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:20,323 Bye. Bye. 391 00:20:20,323 --> 00:20:21,563 Bye. 392 00:20:21,563 --> 00:20:23,043 Thank you. Learn lots. 393 00:20:50,163 --> 00:20:53,043 Lesley. Did we arrange a meeting? 394 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,363 Please sit down, Mr Halloran. 395 00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,723 Bye-bye, Grandpa. Have a wonderful day. 396 00:21:45,243 --> 00:21:47,323 SCHOOL BELL RINGS 397 00:22:29,163 --> 00:22:31,483 Your father has decided that Halloran & Son 398 00:22:31,483 --> 00:22:34,403 will sell a minority share to Hilgard Auto Friction. 399 00:22:34,403 --> 00:22:37,043 Well, hallelujah. You've finally seen the light, Dad. 400 00:22:37,043 --> 00:22:39,483 Your father will remain as CEO, 401 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:43,443 but there will be some workforce optimisation. 402 00:22:43,443 --> 00:22:47,083 I'm here to tell you this is your final day of employment. 403 00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:48,123 What? 404 00:22:49,123 --> 00:22:51,683 What did she say? Are you firing me? 405 00:22:51,683 --> 00:22:54,083 Your father feels it's in everyone's best interests 406 00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:57,683 for you to step away from Halloran & Son. 407 00:22:57,683 --> 00:23:00,843 Step away from Halloran & Son?! 408 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,323 I'm the Son! 409 00:23:03,323 --> 00:23:06,283 It's vital you don't make this personal. Is it? OK. 410 00:23:08,283 --> 00:23:10,563 That's fine, because I'm also company director, 411 00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:13,043 so you can't do this. 412 00:23:13,043 --> 00:23:16,243 The power to remove a director is granted to the majority shareholders 413 00:23:16,243 --> 00:23:18,563 under the company's Articles of Association. 414 00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:19,843 I hired you! 415 00:23:19,843 --> 00:23:21,323 I'm employed by the company. 416 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:24,803 What's...? What are you doing? 417 00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,563 What's going...? This is crazy. 418 00:23:26,563 --> 00:23:28,323 What are you doing? I'm your son! 419 00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:29,843 You're making this personal. 420 00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:32,163 Shut up! Don't raise your voice to a woman. 421 00:23:32,163 --> 00:23:34,523 I'm s-sorry. Sorry. 422 00:23:34,523 --> 00:23:35,643 I... 423 00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:38,043 Why are you doing this? 424 00:23:39,763 --> 00:23:42,963 I forced you into the family trade. 425 00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:46,803 But you're out of your depth. 426 00:23:46,803 --> 00:23:48,123 I blame myself. 427 00:23:49,603 --> 00:23:51,523 Don't take it personally. 428 00:23:51,523 --> 00:23:52,923 It's just business. 429 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:07,643 BELL RINGS 430 00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,763 Sir. Hi. Um... 431 00:24:16,963 --> 00:24:18,523 ..could I ask you a question? 432 00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:20,083 Yeah? 433 00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:22,483 How do you pay off a mortgage? 434 00:24:22,483 --> 00:24:25,043 GRIME MUSIC PLAYS 435 00:24:26,683 --> 00:24:29,043 You put this in the recycling bin? 436 00:24:29,043 --> 00:24:31,043 Yeah. How fucking dumb are you? 437 00:24:31,043 --> 00:24:32,563 This can't be recycled. 438 00:24:32,563 --> 00:24:35,483 Bro, it's cardboard. Murked in grease and cheese. 439 00:24:35,483 --> 00:24:38,683 Did you not watch the YouTube video I pinged out to you about this? 440 00:24:38,683 --> 00:24:42,003 Tramps like you are the reason the planet is dying. 441 00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:44,203 And why didn't you wash my car like I done told you? 442 00:24:44,203 --> 00:24:46,123 Fam, I'm not your PA. For real. 443 00:24:46,123 --> 00:24:49,203 A PA would have initiative and at least one GCSE. 444 00:24:49,203 --> 00:24:50,803 Go put this in the proper bin. 445 00:24:50,803 --> 00:24:52,363 And the door opens inwards, 446 00:24:52,363 --> 00:24:55,043 so remember to not hit yourself in the face this time. 447 00:24:58,363 --> 00:25:00,723 KNOCKING ON DOOR 448 00:25:02,643 --> 00:25:04,363 What the fuck are you doing here? 449 00:25:04,363 --> 00:25:05,843 I'm bringing you a peace offering. 450 00:25:05,843 --> 00:25:07,483 Is it that fat stack of cash you took? 451 00:25:07,483 --> 00:25:09,003 No. 452 00:25:09,003 --> 00:25:10,403 It's him. 453 00:25:10,403 --> 00:25:12,363 Hiya. 454 00:25:12,363 --> 00:25:15,363 It's nice to see you again. 455 00:25:15,363 --> 00:25:17,683 Why are you bringing this googly-eyed plank to my house? 456 00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:18,923 Bit rude, innit? 457 00:25:18,923 --> 00:25:20,723 He's a lawyer. I've got a lawyer. 458 00:25:20,723 --> 00:25:23,443 Yes, but I suspect your lawyer probably costs about £150 an hour, 459 00:25:23,443 --> 00:25:25,083 which means by the time you go to court 460 00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:27,243 for having sent him to do your community service, 461 00:25:27,243 --> 00:25:29,003 you could be looking at a ten grand bill. 462 00:25:29,003 --> 00:25:31,923 Whereas his services will be free of charge, 463 00:25:31,923 --> 00:25:34,163 if we stop this beef and we start working together. 464 00:25:34,163 --> 00:25:35,283 And do what? 465 00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:36,643 Get the Dean off our backs. 466 00:25:36,643 --> 00:25:39,843 What's stopping me from taking you to the Dean right now? 467 00:25:39,843 --> 00:25:41,523 Um, if I could take that one? 468 00:25:41,523 --> 00:25:43,203 If anything happens to either of us, 469 00:25:43,203 --> 00:25:45,363 then my associates will make contact with the Dean 470 00:25:45,363 --> 00:25:47,243 and explain to him how you tried to... 471 00:25:47,243 --> 00:25:49,683 Um, what was it again? 472 00:25:49,683 --> 00:25:52,283 How you tried to fuck him with his own dick. 473 00:25:52,283 --> 00:25:54,923 Which, uh... I don't imagine he will like. 474 00:26:29,243 --> 00:26:30,963 Guess who's back. 475 00:26:32,043 --> 00:26:34,443 Man, not again! 476 00:26:34,443 --> 00:26:36,363 How do I contact the Dean? 477 00:26:36,363 --> 00:26:37,763 How do I contact him?! 478 00:26:39,323 --> 00:26:40,883 You've got a set of balls on you, mate, 479 00:26:40,883 --> 00:26:43,363 I'll tell you that for nothing. Yeah? Thanks. 480 00:26:43,363 --> 00:26:45,483 Means a lot coming from you. 481 00:26:45,483 --> 00:26:47,443 INTERNAL RINGTONE 482 00:26:47,443 --> 00:26:49,723 Yes? Someone wants to talk to you. 483 00:26:49,723 --> 00:26:52,603 He's got a gun to my head, man! 484 00:26:52,603 --> 00:26:55,163 Who's this? Are you the Dean? 485 00:26:55,163 --> 00:26:56,883 Who wants to know? 486 00:26:56,883 --> 00:26:58,563 The arsehole that stole his money. 487 00:26:58,563 --> 00:27:00,083 HE LAUGHS 488 00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:01,323 You've got some big balls. 489 00:27:01,323 --> 00:27:03,403 Yeah? So I keep hearing. 490 00:27:03,403 --> 00:27:06,603 You're the worst thing to happen to my business since Covid. 491 00:27:06,603 --> 00:27:08,043 What do you want? 492 00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:10,723 I'm just telling you to call off your attack dogs. 493 00:27:10,723 --> 00:27:12,563 Isn't he in on this with you? 494 00:27:12,563 --> 00:27:14,323 Nah. Nah, I work alone. 495 00:27:14,323 --> 00:27:16,963 You know, I will find you. 496 00:27:16,963 --> 00:27:19,803 You never heard what happened to a Brook Hill soldier called Spider? 497 00:27:19,803 --> 00:27:23,243 I heard he got heartburn that put him in the hospital. Was that you? 498 00:27:23,243 --> 00:27:24,763 Yeah, man, that was me. 499 00:27:24,763 --> 00:27:27,683 And the same goes for anyone you send that tries to look for me. 500 00:27:27,683 --> 00:27:30,243 But as a show of good faith, 501 00:27:30,243 --> 00:27:33,243 I'm going to leave your line here. 502 00:27:33,243 --> 00:27:35,803 Yeah? For you to collect at your own convenience. 503 00:27:35,803 --> 00:27:37,603 Tell him it's there. Tell him it's there. 504 00:27:37,603 --> 00:27:39,883 Yeah, it's there, he's telling the truth. 505 00:27:39,883 --> 00:27:41,603 You'll get no more trouble from me 506 00:27:41,603 --> 00:27:43,563 if I get no more trouble from you. 507 00:27:43,563 --> 00:27:45,003 Do we have a deal? 508 00:27:47,643 --> 00:27:49,163 We do. 509 00:27:55,163 --> 00:27:57,123 SIZZLING 510 00:28:01,523 --> 00:28:03,123 Thank you. 511 00:28:03,123 --> 00:28:04,283 Close your eyes. 512 00:28:04,283 --> 00:28:06,443 What? Close your fucking eyes! 513 00:28:06,443 --> 00:28:09,443 Wait! There's no need for you to do this! I haven't done anything wrong! 514 00:28:09,443 --> 00:28:11,603 They just came here, man! I didn't ask for it, mate! 515 00:28:11,603 --> 00:28:12,883 Come on, I've just got a dog! 516 00:28:12,883 --> 00:28:14,443 Please, man, don't do... 517 00:28:25,123 --> 00:28:26,563 HE SIGHS 518 00:28:26,563 --> 00:28:28,563 Thank you. 519 00:28:28,563 --> 00:28:30,963 You're a free man now, Frank. Yep. 520 00:28:30,963 --> 00:28:33,043 You can leave any time you want. 521 00:28:33,043 --> 00:28:36,363 Yeah, but Grandpa is going to stay right here with us, aren't you, Dad? 522 00:28:36,363 --> 00:28:38,283 That's right. Forever and ever! 523 00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:41,683 How would you like to spend your first night of freedom, Dad? 524 00:28:41,683 --> 00:28:44,683 Would you like meatloaf? That's your favourite, right? 525 00:28:44,683 --> 00:28:46,723 Meatloaf, that would be wonderful, 526 00:28:46,723 --> 00:28:49,643 but I've been dreaming of sitting in 527 00:28:49,643 --> 00:28:52,803 a bar with a cool glass of beer. 528 00:28:52,803 --> 00:28:56,643 How would you feel if I stepped out and, you know, wet my tonsils? 529 00:28:56,643 --> 00:28:59,083 I'd feel fine, I don't know how to make meatloaf. 530 00:29:00,803 --> 00:29:02,323 Goodbye. 531 00:29:08,763 --> 00:29:11,163 TV PLAYS 532 00:29:25,563 --> 00:29:27,443 DOOR CLOSES 533 00:29:29,403 --> 00:29:30,683 KNOCKING ON DOOR 534 00:29:30,683 --> 00:29:31,763 Got it. 535 00:29:39,563 --> 00:29:42,083 Mum. What are you doing here? 536 00:29:42,083 --> 00:29:44,803 You forgot Mr Snuggles. 537 00:29:44,803 --> 00:29:46,763 You know you can't sleep without him. 538 00:29:46,763 --> 00:29:48,603 Yes, I can. 539 00:29:48,603 --> 00:29:51,963 So, this is where you live now? 540 00:29:51,963 --> 00:29:53,163 Yep. 541 00:29:53,163 --> 00:29:55,363 I thought you were living with a boy. 542 00:29:55,363 --> 00:29:58,883 I'm not living with a boy, I'm just staying here until... 543 00:30:00,483 --> 00:30:01,803 Until what? 544 00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:08,003 Look, we all said things that we didn't mean, 545 00:30:08,003 --> 00:30:09,283 but your father and I, 546 00:30:09,283 --> 00:30:11,883 we are willing to draw a line under everything. 547 00:30:11,883 --> 00:30:13,683 So why don't you just come back home? 548 00:30:13,683 --> 00:30:16,403 You can finish your studies, you can take your place at Oxford. 549 00:30:16,403 --> 00:30:19,723 How many times do I have to say I don't want to go to Oxford? 550 00:30:19,723 --> 00:30:21,163 But I don't understand why not! 551 00:30:21,163 --> 00:30:23,403 Because it's your dream. It's not my dream, Mum. 552 00:30:23,403 --> 00:30:25,643 So what are you going to do with your life? 553 00:30:25,643 --> 00:30:27,523 You going to go out and get some crappy job 554 00:30:27,523 --> 00:30:29,883 and come home every night to, what, this dump?! 555 00:30:40,483 --> 00:30:41,963 This used to be our thing. 556 00:30:41,963 --> 00:30:45,363 Every Friday night, get a takeaway and watch Graham Norton. 557 00:30:48,723 --> 00:30:50,163 Come home. 558 00:30:52,923 --> 00:30:54,683 Thanks for bringing Mr Snuggles. 559 00:31:12,923 --> 00:31:14,283 SHE SIGHS 560 00:31:14,283 --> 00:31:15,563 DOOR CLOSES 561 00:31:17,203 --> 00:31:18,523 SHE SNIFFS 562 00:31:30,123 --> 00:31:32,923 CHATTER 563 00:31:39,283 --> 00:31:41,323 How did it go? 564 00:31:41,323 --> 00:31:43,803 Yeah. We're all good now. 565 00:31:43,803 --> 00:31:45,363 Really? 566 00:31:45,363 --> 00:31:46,523 100%. 567 00:31:46,523 --> 00:31:48,123 Thank God. 568 00:31:48,123 --> 00:31:49,643 What are you doing here? 569 00:31:49,643 --> 00:31:52,283 I thought I'd come in the club. 570 00:31:52,283 --> 00:31:54,843 Yeah? Yeah, it's a Friday night, baby. 571 00:31:54,843 --> 00:31:59,123 What else am I going to do? Stay inside and watch Graham Norton? 572 00:31:59,123 --> 00:32:02,523 Stop the press! You came! 573 00:32:02,523 --> 00:32:05,763 Oh, hi! Oh, come on, let's go in. 574 00:32:05,763 --> 00:32:09,003 Look after her, yeah? It's her first time in a club. 575 00:32:23,403 --> 00:32:24,963 CAMERA CLICKS 576 00:32:41,363 --> 00:32:43,843 You're late. I got here at 7pm. 577 00:32:43,843 --> 00:32:46,123 People don't normally come to nightclubs that early. 578 00:32:46,123 --> 00:32:47,963 Yeah, I know, so I discovered. 579 00:32:47,963 --> 00:32:51,363 I just spent an hour watching them scrape the gum off the dance floor. 580 00:32:51,363 --> 00:32:53,683 Oh, no, thank you, I don't drink alcohol. 581 00:32:53,683 --> 00:32:55,723 Why? Is it because you're a Muslim? 582 00:32:55,723 --> 00:32:57,283 I'm not a Muslim. 583 00:32:57,283 --> 00:33:00,003 No? Why don't you drink alcohol? 584 00:33:00,003 --> 00:33:01,723 Uh... Babe, no friend of mine 585 00:33:01,723 --> 00:33:04,843 is going to their grave having not tried champagne. Drink. 586 00:33:10,403 --> 00:33:11,643 Mm. 587 00:33:11,643 --> 00:33:14,443 It's, like, bubbly. 588 00:33:14,443 --> 00:33:16,083 That's its nickname. 589 00:33:20,803 --> 00:33:22,603 I think I like champagne. 590 00:33:22,603 --> 00:33:23,883 Oh, woo! 591 00:33:24,883 --> 00:33:26,203 G-Dog! 592 00:33:30,283 --> 00:33:31,523 Champagne? 593 00:33:31,523 --> 00:33:33,643 Oh, cheers. Woo! 594 00:33:33,643 --> 00:33:35,443 Well, cheers, everyone. 595 00:33:35,443 --> 00:33:36,763 ALL: Cheers! 596 00:33:36,763 --> 00:33:38,083 GLASSES CLINK 597 00:33:50,923 --> 00:33:52,243 Place your bets. 598 00:33:55,763 --> 00:33:58,323 14. 18. 11. 599 00:34:05,803 --> 00:34:07,003 Hi. 600 00:34:16,203 --> 00:34:17,643 Thank you. 601 00:34:51,763 --> 00:34:54,003 Whoa! No, sweetie. 602 00:34:54,003 --> 00:34:56,403 Ha! You've just had your first drink, 603 00:34:56,403 --> 00:34:58,763 let's not run before we can walk. 604 00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:02,043 Can we? Oh, yeah, just...just whatever you want, put it on my tab. 605 00:35:02,043 --> 00:35:04,403 You promised you were going to cut down on your spending. 606 00:35:04,403 --> 00:35:06,003 They're my friends. 607 00:35:06,003 --> 00:35:07,403 SHE SCOFFS 608 00:35:09,243 --> 00:35:12,323 Greg, isn't that your lady from work? 609 00:35:12,323 --> 00:35:14,603 It is, yeah. 610 00:35:14,603 --> 00:35:16,403 Oh, hello, she's coming over. 611 00:35:16,403 --> 00:35:17,723 What do I do? 612 00:35:17,723 --> 00:35:19,403 Be cool and say hi. 613 00:35:19,403 --> 00:35:22,203 Hey, you. Hi! Oh... 614 00:35:38,163 --> 00:35:40,083 That's fine. 615 00:35:40,083 --> 00:35:41,683 What are you doing here? 616 00:35:41,683 --> 00:35:43,123 Erm, hen do. 617 00:35:43,123 --> 00:35:44,723 Oh, yeah. No, it is... 618 00:35:46,563 --> 00:35:47,843 It's hot in here, isn't it? 619 00:35:47,843 --> 00:35:49,243 It is hot. It is a bit hot, yeah. 620 00:35:49,243 --> 00:35:51,563 I hope it doesn't create humid crotch conditions 621 00:35:51,563 --> 00:35:55,283 that could lead to a build-up of fungus in my vaginal cavity. 622 00:35:56,883 --> 00:35:58,483 Oh! HE LAUGHS 623 00:35:58,483 --> 00:36:00,603 Right, yeah, do you remember when we were in the lift 624 00:36:00,603 --> 00:36:02,563 and I was talking about her fanny, her...? 625 00:36:02,563 --> 00:36:06,443 Um... Can I ask you something that's, er, sort of embarrassing? 626 00:36:06,443 --> 00:36:08,603 OK, sure. 627 00:36:08,603 --> 00:36:11,643 Could we get a picture with Lady Gabby? 628 00:36:11,643 --> 00:36:13,763 Oh, yeah. Yeah, hang on. 629 00:36:15,203 --> 00:36:17,043 Is it all right if Anne-Marie and her friends 630 00:36:17,043 --> 00:36:18,323 have a photo with you, please? 631 00:36:18,323 --> 00:36:20,723 Also, she probably thinks you and me are dating. 632 00:36:20,723 --> 00:36:22,083 I don't think she does, sweetie. 633 00:36:22,083 --> 00:36:25,123 She probably does, so can you make it clear that we're not an item? 634 00:36:27,043 --> 00:36:29,243 Hi, I'm Gabby, I'm a lesbian. 635 00:36:29,243 --> 00:36:30,723 OK. Hello again. 636 00:36:30,723 --> 00:36:32,563 Hi. So, I'm happy to have a picture with you, 637 00:36:32,563 --> 00:36:34,123 but would you do me a favour in return? 638 00:36:34,123 --> 00:36:36,123 Oh. Yeah, sure, w-w-what's that? 639 00:36:36,123 --> 00:36:38,923 Would you go on a date with my platonic friend Greg here? 640 00:36:38,923 --> 00:36:41,043 You don't need to do that if you don't want. 641 00:36:42,243 --> 00:36:44,003 Oh! 642 00:36:44,003 --> 00:36:45,363 Come on. 643 00:36:46,683 --> 00:36:47,843 Look who's here! 644 00:36:47,843 --> 00:36:50,403 She's coming! Hi! Hi, Gabby! 645 00:36:51,403 --> 00:36:53,643 All right, everyone smile. 646 00:36:59,203 --> 00:37:00,683 DOOR CLOSES 647 00:37:00,683 --> 00:37:02,523 Oh, he's here at last. 648 00:37:02,523 --> 00:37:04,603 CHATTER 649 00:37:07,203 --> 00:37:09,923 Where have you been? Everyone's here. 650 00:37:09,923 --> 00:37:11,563 CHATTER STOPS 651 00:37:13,843 --> 00:37:15,843 Would you excuse me for just one minute? 652 00:37:20,283 --> 00:37:22,803 I expect he's gone to wash his hands. 653 00:37:22,803 --> 00:37:24,323 DOOR CLOSES 654 00:37:26,883 --> 00:37:29,043 CAR ENGINE STARTS 655 00:37:57,083 --> 00:37:59,203 What do I do instead of Oxford? 656 00:37:59,203 --> 00:38:03,003 Like, in theory, you know, I can do anything, 657 00:38:03,003 --> 00:38:06,923 but, you know, man is nothing without which he makes himself. 658 00:38:06,923 --> 00:38:08,563 Jean-Paul Sartre. 659 00:38:08,563 --> 00:38:11,923 With great power comes great responsibility. 660 00:38:11,923 --> 00:38:13,683 Spider-man. 661 00:38:13,683 --> 00:38:18,883 Exactly. There's so much I haven't done or...experienced. 662 00:38:19,963 --> 00:38:21,563 Don't tell anyone, but... 663 00:38:22,603 --> 00:38:24,923 ..I'm still a virgin. 664 00:38:24,923 --> 00:38:26,363 Understood. 665 00:38:29,043 --> 00:38:31,363 No, no, no. I don't need one of those. 666 00:38:31,363 --> 00:38:33,323 Yeah, I used to have that attitude, 667 00:38:33,323 --> 00:38:35,243 and then I got super gonorrhoea. 668 00:38:35,243 --> 00:38:37,043 Front and back. 669 00:38:37,043 --> 00:38:39,843 No, I mean I'm not having sex tonight. 670 00:38:39,843 --> 00:38:42,683 Oh. Why? Cos you're Muslim? 671 00:38:42,683 --> 00:38:44,283 I'm not a Muslim. 672 00:38:44,283 --> 00:38:46,963 No? Well, what are you waiting for, then? 673 00:38:46,963 --> 00:38:48,243 I don't know. 674 00:38:48,243 --> 00:38:49,483 Well, a lot of guys here. 675 00:38:49,483 --> 00:38:51,843 Any of them making your fanny fairies flutter? 676 00:38:54,483 --> 00:38:56,203 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 677 00:38:56,203 --> 00:38:57,923 He's kind of cute. 678 00:38:57,923 --> 00:39:00,163 Yeah? Yeah, not bad, yeah... 679 00:39:00,163 --> 00:39:01,643 DIANE WHISTLES 680 00:39:05,883 --> 00:39:08,163 Do you like sexual intercourse with women? 681 00:39:08,163 --> 00:39:09,283 Yeah. 682 00:39:09,283 --> 00:39:11,883 Good. I want to notify you that we 683 00:39:11,883 --> 00:39:14,643 are both available sexually, OK? 684 00:39:14,643 --> 00:39:17,283 I don't do tea-bagging, golden showers, 685 00:39:17,283 --> 00:39:19,923 or reverse anal, but anything else is up for grabs. 686 00:39:19,923 --> 00:39:22,483 My friend here, however, is new to the market, 687 00:39:22,483 --> 00:39:27,003 so I want her to be treated with care and respect, all right? 688 00:39:27,003 --> 00:39:30,603 And I've got the direct line to Detective Sergeant Lucy Haines 689 00:39:30,603 --> 00:39:32,963 of the Bristol and Avon Constabulary, 690 00:39:32,963 --> 00:39:36,643 so any funny business - ANY funny business - 691 00:39:36,643 --> 00:39:39,603 and you will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 692 00:39:39,603 --> 00:39:42,523 Understood? Understood? 693 00:39:42,523 --> 00:39:44,403 Yes, ma'am. 694 00:39:44,403 --> 00:39:45,683 Good. 695 00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:48,283 We'll be sat here if you want to get some. 696 00:39:48,283 --> 00:39:49,603 Go. 697 00:40:02,363 --> 00:40:05,043 Didn't picture you two as club rats. 698 00:40:05,043 --> 00:40:08,883 Just needed to get out of the house. Just needed to get out of my flat. 699 00:40:10,763 --> 00:40:13,443 Gabby, can I throw these on your tab? Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead. 700 00:40:13,443 --> 00:40:16,723 Perfect. Brilliant. Um, can I grab two more of those? 701 00:40:16,723 --> 00:40:19,363 Do you know all of these people you're buying drinks for? 702 00:40:19,363 --> 00:40:21,203 Greg, I've told you, they're my friends. 703 00:40:21,203 --> 00:40:22,363 What's his name? 704 00:40:22,363 --> 00:40:24,123 James. No, Jason. 705 00:40:24,123 --> 00:40:26,003 Jeremy? 706 00:40:26,003 --> 00:40:27,403 Definitely begins with a J. 707 00:40:27,403 --> 00:40:30,043 Julian. His name's Julian. Excuse me, mate, what's your name? 708 00:40:30,043 --> 00:40:31,283 Roy. 709 00:40:32,803 --> 00:40:33,923 What's your point? 710 00:40:33,923 --> 00:40:36,763 Is it possible that they're not your actual friends? 711 00:40:36,763 --> 00:40:38,323 Why are they here, then? 712 00:40:38,323 --> 00:40:41,603 Because they're moochers. Sucking on the Gabby teat. 713 00:40:41,603 --> 00:40:44,883 If any of my friends are sucking on my teats, 714 00:40:44,883 --> 00:40:47,603 it's you, Mr £150 An Hour. 715 00:40:47,603 --> 00:40:50,003 I'm not your friend, I'm your lawyer. It's different. 716 00:40:50,003 --> 00:40:51,163 You're not my friend? 717 00:40:51,163 --> 00:40:53,403 Well, no, of course I'm your friend, I just mean... 718 00:40:53,403 --> 00:40:54,843 I was fixing you up with Anne-Marie 719 00:40:54,843 --> 00:40:56,483 because I thought you were my friend. 720 00:40:56,483 --> 00:40:59,603 I don't normally help my employees get laid. 721 00:40:59,603 --> 00:41:01,043 Well, I didn't ask you to do that. 722 00:41:01,043 --> 00:41:04,403 Well, fine, let's make a cost saving now, shall we? You're fired! 723 00:41:04,403 --> 00:41:07,803 Gabby, come on! One less mooch sucking on my teat. 724 00:41:07,803 --> 00:41:09,803 Happy now? 725 00:41:09,803 --> 00:41:11,523 You're not serious. Deadly serious! 726 00:41:11,523 --> 00:41:13,403 Go on, get out of here, mooch! 727 00:41:22,283 --> 00:41:24,163 I don't need your money! 728 00:41:24,163 --> 00:41:27,443 Go on, mooch! Thank you and goodnight! 729 00:42:18,403 --> 00:42:19,843 Shit. 730 00:42:23,403 --> 00:42:26,563 MUSIC: Incapable by Roisin Murphy 731 00:42:38,883 --> 00:42:40,243 How did it go? 732 00:42:40,243 --> 00:42:42,683 Yeah, I did what you said and he seemed to buy it. 733 00:42:42,683 --> 00:42:43,923 Will it work? 734 00:42:43,923 --> 00:42:46,083 Sasquatch Patsy never fails. 735 00:42:47,363 --> 00:42:48,523 Going somewhere? 736 00:42:48,523 --> 00:42:50,523 I'm on the early flight to Rio. 737 00:42:50,523 --> 00:42:52,963 Huh? De Janeiro. 738 00:42:52,963 --> 00:42:54,163 Oh, you're leaving? 739 00:42:54,163 --> 00:42:55,963 Yep. Got a few hours to kill, 740 00:42:55,963 --> 00:43:00,003 then cabbing direct to Heathrow Airport. 741 00:43:00,003 --> 00:43:02,363 Could you let me know when my ride arrives? 742 00:43:02,363 --> 00:43:03,803 Yeah, sure. 743 00:43:03,803 --> 00:43:05,883 One more favour. 744 00:43:05,883 --> 00:43:08,443 Deliver this to my daughter. 745 00:43:08,443 --> 00:43:09,843 What is that? 746 00:43:09,843 --> 00:43:12,563 It's £1,000, huh? 747 00:43:12,563 --> 00:43:15,043 50 for your trouble. 748 00:43:15,043 --> 00:43:18,723 I mean, you could've given that to her yourself before you left. 749 00:43:18,723 --> 00:43:22,203 I prefer what they call the Dignitas farewell. 750 00:43:22,203 --> 00:43:24,083 Slip away, no fuss. 751 00:43:24,083 --> 00:43:28,083 It's none of my business but if you take off without saying goodbye, 752 00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:31,523 aren't you worried your daughter's going to hate you for it? 753 00:43:31,523 --> 00:43:33,083 Yeah, you're right. 754 00:43:34,723 --> 00:43:36,643 It's none of your business. 755 00:43:41,763 --> 00:43:44,003 Frank, you made it! 756 00:43:44,003 --> 00:43:47,203 Hi! Come and dance with me! 757 00:43:47,203 --> 00:43:48,563 Are you drunk? 758 00:43:48,563 --> 00:43:50,443 Yeah, and I love it. 759 00:43:50,443 --> 00:43:53,043 Gabs, I told you to look after her. She's wasted! 760 00:43:53,043 --> 00:43:54,563 Didn't you hear her? She loves it! 761 00:43:54,563 --> 00:43:56,523 I love it! 762 00:43:57,683 --> 00:43:59,163 Oh! 763 00:44:04,643 --> 00:44:06,163 Diane! 764 00:44:06,163 --> 00:44:08,323 THEY LAUGH 765 00:44:08,323 --> 00:44:10,603 Look at you, Diane! Woo! 766 00:44:14,803 --> 00:44:16,723 Uh, can you settle up the tab? 767 00:44:16,723 --> 00:44:19,083 Yeah, sure. Hang on. 768 00:44:19,083 --> 00:44:21,083 Thank you. 769 00:44:22,163 --> 00:44:24,043 Oh, it's been declined. 770 00:44:24,043 --> 00:44:25,323 What? 771 00:44:28,963 --> 00:44:30,323 It didn't work either. 772 00:44:32,923 --> 00:44:34,483 Uh, guys... 773 00:44:34,483 --> 00:44:36,883 ..I think my dad has cancelled my credit cards. 774 00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:38,083 Has anyone got any money? 775 00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:40,403 Oh, sorry, babe. No. 776 00:44:40,403 --> 00:44:42,963 No. Sorry. Are you certain, mate? 777 00:44:42,963 --> 00:44:45,003 Fuck. 778 00:44:45,003 --> 00:44:49,003 Shit. My dad is such an arsehole. 779 00:44:49,003 --> 00:44:50,723 Let me get this. 780 00:44:50,723 --> 00:44:52,003 Thank you. 781 00:44:52,003 --> 00:44:54,163 Oh, Frank, you absolute angel! 782 00:44:54,163 --> 00:44:55,403 Thank you. 783 00:44:55,403 --> 00:44:56,683 God, I wish you were my dad. 784 00:44:56,683 --> 00:44:59,683 Who leaves their only daughter high and dry at one in the morning? 785 00:44:59,683 --> 00:45:01,443 God! 786 00:45:01,443 --> 00:45:03,083 Dick. 787 00:45:06,483 --> 00:45:09,083 MUSIC FADES 788 00:45:13,883 --> 00:45:15,803 Which one is ours? 789 00:45:16,803 --> 00:45:18,083 This way. Oh, OK. 790 00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:19,123 This way. Go on. 791 00:45:19,123 --> 00:45:21,043 I'm focused on the car. 792 00:45:21,043 --> 00:45:24,443 DIANE: Right, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's all right. No need to argue. 793 00:45:24,443 --> 00:45:25,683 We're all going to get a turn. 794 00:45:25,683 --> 00:45:28,483 We just need to rock-paper-scissors for who goes first, all right? 795 00:45:28,483 --> 00:45:30,283 And we need a safe word, yeah? 796 00:45:37,883 --> 00:45:39,923 I've got you down for Heathrow Airport. 797 00:45:39,923 --> 00:45:41,003 Is that right, mate? 798 00:45:43,483 --> 00:45:45,043 Mate? 799 00:45:45,043 --> 00:45:46,643 Where do you want to go? 800 00:45:47,923 --> 00:45:49,323 Whoa...! 801 00:45:50,763 --> 00:45:54,323 Kind sir, I...I do like you. 802 00:45:54,323 --> 00:45:58,363 Relax. Woo! Oh, God. 803 00:45:58,363 --> 00:46:02,203 I think you should be going to sleep alone, Rani. I don't think so. 804 00:46:02,203 --> 00:46:05,043 I think we should sleep together. 805 00:46:05,043 --> 00:46:06,603 Goodnight, Rani. 806 00:46:06,603 --> 00:46:09,243 Look. So much room. 807 00:46:09,243 --> 00:46:10,843 Come back. 808 00:46:41,043 --> 00:46:42,643 Dad! 809 00:46:42,643 --> 00:46:45,883 You utter scumbucket, piece of shit, 810 00:46:45,883 --> 00:46:48,643 wanker, bastard, arsehole... 811 00:46:48,643 --> 00:46:51,643 ..shit! SHE SCREAMS 812 00:47:00,643 --> 00:47:02,083 Where's the money, Frank? 813 00:47:04,523 --> 00:47:06,763 I know you found it, but what have you done with it? 814 00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:19,523 Dad, are you just getting home? 815 00:47:19,523 --> 00:47:21,563 Margie, I'm sorry, I lost track of time. 816 00:47:21,563 --> 00:47:24,683 Well, I'll be honest, I did, erm, start worrying that 817 00:47:24,683 --> 00:47:26,003 you'd left us again. 818 00:47:26,003 --> 00:47:28,483 No, Margie, I'm here for the long haul. 819 00:47:28,483 --> 00:47:31,163 In fact, around here it's about time I contributed. 820 00:47:32,443 --> 00:47:35,283 How about I start by paying off your mortgage? 821 00:47:35,283 --> 00:47:37,203 SHE LAUGHS Sorrym that is... 822 00:47:37,203 --> 00:47:40,163 ..that's really sweet but, I mean, you can't even pay a parking ticket. 823 00:47:40,163 --> 00:47:41,403 Yeah? 824 00:47:48,283 --> 00:47:49,923 Where did you get all this money? 825 00:47:49,923 --> 00:47:52,723 For once in my life, I'm going to come clean. 826 00:47:57,963 --> 00:47:59,883 I won it. 827 00:47:59,883 --> 00:48:01,163 Casino. 828 00:48:07,723 --> 00:48:09,683 Oh, Frank! 829 00:48:28,003 --> 00:48:29,083 You're drunk. 830 00:48:29,083 --> 00:48:30,243 No, I'm not. 831 00:48:31,443 --> 00:48:33,443 That's what drunk people say. 832 00:48:33,443 --> 00:48:35,723 No, I'm sober. 833 00:48:35,723 --> 00:48:37,083 I promise. 834 00:48:43,923 --> 00:48:48,643 MUSIC: All Time by A.S. Fanning 835 00:49:00,803 --> 00:49:02,523 Is that... 836 00:49:02,523 --> 00:49:04,803 ..Raphael or Donatello...? 837 00:49:04,803 --> 00:49:06,923 Yeah, that's my guy Donnie. 838 00:49:06,923 --> 00:49:08,763 Ninja Turtles. 839 00:49:08,763 --> 00:49:10,563 What? OK. SHE LAUGHS 840 00:49:10,563 --> 00:49:12,083 What's...? What? Don't judge me. 841 00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:14,083 No. It's all good. You know they're wavy. 842 00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:16,163 Yep. Very wavy. 843 00:49:19,603 --> 00:49:21,283 Wait. 844 00:49:21,283 --> 00:49:22,963 Are you sure you want to do this? 845 00:49:22,963 --> 00:49:24,123 Yeah. 846 00:49:24,123 --> 00:49:25,483 No, are you sure? 847 00:49:27,563 --> 00:49:28,843 Yes. 848 00:49:29,883 --> 00:49:31,323 Where did you get that? 849 00:49:31,323 --> 00:49:32,803 Diane. 850 00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:36,003 Please don't talk about Diane right now! 851 00:49:36,003 --> 00:49:40,083 ♪ You know I'm happy to be your friend 852 00:49:41,043 --> 00:49:44,323 ♪ Till the leaves or the stars descend 853 00:49:44,323 --> 00:49:47,083 ♪ But I'm there, I'm here 854 00:49:49,243 --> 00:49:52,923 ♪ And I'm 16, standing, holding two cans of beer... ♪ 855 00:49:52,923 --> 00:49:55,043 Ugh, so my dad has changed all the locks 856 00:49:55,043 --> 00:49:57,123 and I don't have anywhere to sleep tonight 857 00:49:57,123 --> 00:49:59,483 and, look, I know you've got that spare room... 858 00:49:59,483 --> 00:50:01,803 No, I did not nearly burn down the flat last time! 859 00:50:01,803 --> 00:50:04,403 I lit some tea candles then went to Ibiza! 860 00:50:04,403 --> 00:50:06,363 Hi, is this Izzy's phone? 861 00:50:07,603 --> 00:50:09,483 Oh, my God, why is she in hospital?! 862 00:50:10,963 --> 00:50:12,443 Gallstones? 863 00:50:12,443 --> 00:50:15,163 So you're saying that you're not happy sharing your flat 864 00:50:15,163 --> 00:50:17,523 but you are happy sharing my cocaine all night? 865 00:50:17,523 --> 00:50:21,283 So if Izzy's in hospital, does that mean her flat's empty tonight? 866 00:50:21,283 --> 00:50:24,003 Hey, you. It's Gabby Penrose-Howe. 867 00:50:24,003 --> 00:50:25,843 We slept together on New Year's Eve. 868 00:50:25,843 --> 00:50:28,483 Listen, look, I know I said I'd call and I didn't, 869 00:50:28,483 --> 00:50:30,083 but I'm calling now. 870 00:50:30,083 --> 00:50:32,883 Fancy sleeping together again tonight? 871 00:50:32,883 --> 00:50:34,283 Give me a call when you get this. 872 00:50:34,283 --> 00:50:35,483 Ciao! 873 00:50:35,483 --> 00:50:37,723 Hi, this is Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe. 874 00:50:37,723 --> 00:50:39,403 We met at the club earlier. 875 00:50:39,403 --> 00:50:42,363 I don't suppose you've got a sofa or anything that 876 00:50:42,363 --> 00:50:44,963 I could crash on tonight? 877 00:50:44,963 --> 00:50:47,043 Oh, no, I got your name from the receipt. 878 00:50:47,043 --> 00:50:49,723 Yeah, it's just under suggested gratuity, 879 00:50:49,723 --> 00:50:54,803 which you may recall I did give you in full, in cash. 880 00:51:05,883 --> 00:51:07,683 SHE SIGHS 881 00:51:08,803 --> 00:51:10,323 You OK? 882 00:51:10,323 --> 00:51:11,523 Yeah. 883 00:51:11,523 --> 00:51:13,243 Now I'm a woman of the world. 884 00:51:13,243 --> 00:51:15,083 HE LAUGHS 885 00:51:16,363 --> 00:51:19,443 You're wondering what all the fuss was about? 886 00:51:19,443 --> 00:51:22,243 Actually, I'm thinking it was worth waiting for. 887 00:51:23,603 --> 00:51:25,963 Thank you...for being... 888 00:51:25,963 --> 00:51:27,883 It's... Thank you. 889 00:51:27,883 --> 00:51:29,363 KNOCK AT DOOR 890 00:51:31,443 --> 00:51:33,083 OK, fuck, fuck, fuck...! 891 00:51:34,523 --> 00:51:37,203 Esme... What were you doing out so late? 892 00:51:37,203 --> 00:51:38,883 It's four in the morning. 893 00:51:38,883 --> 00:51:40,683 Esme, it's four... 894 00:51:40,683 --> 00:51:42,763 HE YELLS 895 00:51:42,763 --> 00:51:45,003 GRUNTING 896 00:51:52,603 --> 00:51:55,523 SHE SCREAMS No! 897 00:52:04,323 --> 00:52:06,043 KNOCKING 898 00:52:11,163 --> 00:52:12,443 Hi. 899 00:52:12,443 --> 00:52:14,283 You were right. 900 00:52:14,283 --> 00:52:15,963 I have no real friends. 901 00:52:19,363 --> 00:52:21,483 I don't have anywhere else to go. 902 00:52:28,043 --> 00:52:30,243 You better come in, then. 903 00:52:30,243 --> 00:52:31,483 Thank you. 904 00:52:39,203 --> 00:52:41,323 I've had a gun pointed in my face twice, yeah? 905 00:52:41,323 --> 00:52:43,243 Well, not again. 906 00:52:43,243 --> 00:52:44,483 I want to get clean, man. 907 00:52:44,483 --> 00:52:46,603 {\an8}I want you to put me in rehab and witness protection. 908 00:52:46,603 --> 00:52:47,683 {\an8}Tell us what you know. 909 00:52:47,683 --> 00:52:50,763 {\an8}I ain't saying nothing till I get full immunity and rehoused, 910 00:52:50,763 --> 00:52:53,283 and I want to go somewhere nice, you know, in the countryside, 911 00:52:53,283 --> 00:52:55,443 with fields and cows and shit. 912 00:52:55,443 --> 00:52:57,923 {\an8}We can't ask our boss for fields and cows and shit 913 00:52:57,923 --> 00:53:00,283 {\an8}unless you give us something. 914 00:53:00,283 --> 00:53:03,443 Like the men who were serving up from your house. Oh... 915 00:53:26,163 --> 00:53:28,243 Have you head of someone called The Dean? 916 00:53:29,603 --> 00:53:31,923 Oh, bloody hell. I thought you was detectives. 917 00:53:31,923 --> 00:53:33,803 Hey! 918 00:53:33,803 --> 00:53:35,403 Tell us about The Dean. 919 00:53:37,563 --> 00:53:40,283 The Dean runs county lines into Bristol. 920 00:53:40,283 --> 00:53:43,923 For years he's been grooming local kids to work for him. 921 00:53:45,323 --> 00:53:47,483 Well, from what I've heard, he's a savage. 922 00:53:49,043 --> 00:53:50,923 And I mean proper psycho. 923 00:53:52,043 --> 00:53:53,883 Tea, anyone? 924 00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:08,523 You're Ben, 925 00:54:08,523 --> 00:54:10,003 nightclub doorman. 926 00:54:11,043 --> 00:54:12,923 And you're Rani, 927 00:54:12,923 --> 00:54:15,603 a brainbox with a scholarship to Oxford. 928 00:54:15,603 --> 00:54:17,043 I know who you are. 929 00:54:17,043 --> 00:54:18,363 I know where you live. 930 00:54:18,363 --> 00:54:20,203 I know everything about you. 931 00:54:20,203 --> 00:54:22,043 Do you know who I am? 932 00:54:22,043 --> 00:54:23,083 No? 933 00:54:23,083 --> 00:54:27,603 I'm the person you stole that impossible amount of money from. 934 00:54:27,603 --> 00:54:30,643 And somehow you assumed I wouldn't find out. 935 00:54:30,643 --> 00:54:32,243 We never stole anything. 936 00:54:32,243 --> 00:54:33,563 He's right. 937 00:54:35,403 --> 00:54:38,643 Well, instead of me accusing you and then you denying, 938 00:54:38,643 --> 00:54:41,123 why don't I bring my star witness to the stand? 939 00:54:44,643 --> 00:54:47,443 What are you do...? You sold me out, you prick?! 940 00:54:47,443 --> 00:54:49,443 What did you expect? 941 00:54:49,443 --> 00:54:51,043 You treat me like dirt. 942 00:54:51,043 --> 00:54:52,243 You show man no respect. 943 00:54:52,243 --> 00:54:53,603 Is this about the pizza box? 944 00:54:53,603 --> 00:54:56,123 I told you, you can't recycle them when they're dirty, bruv. 945 00:54:56,123 --> 00:54:57,403 It's not just that, bro. 946 00:54:57,403 --> 00:54:58,803 You're small fry. 947 00:54:58,803 --> 00:55:01,083 There's no career progression with you. 948 00:55:01,083 --> 00:55:02,323 I've hit a ceiling. 949 00:55:02,323 --> 00:55:05,043 Yeah? You hit a ceiling with your head when you flew out 950 00:55:05,043 --> 00:55:07,963 your mum's gaping vagina. That's why you're so fucking dumb! 951 00:55:07,963 --> 00:55:10,723 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 952 00:55:10,723 --> 00:55:12,803 Hey, relax. 953 00:55:12,803 --> 00:55:14,563 All right? 954 00:55:14,563 --> 00:55:16,403 Take a seat. Sit down. 955 00:55:23,643 --> 00:55:25,403 Put your feet up. 956 00:55:28,883 --> 00:55:30,243 Biscuit? 957 00:55:35,563 --> 00:55:37,323 I hate thieves. 958 00:55:37,323 --> 00:55:38,603 Do you know why? 959 00:55:38,603 --> 00:55:40,843 Because they're lazy. 960 00:55:40,843 --> 00:55:43,603 A businessman like myself works hard for years, 961 00:55:43,603 --> 00:55:45,123 building a nest egg. 962 00:55:45,123 --> 00:55:48,363 And then some wanker who'd rather sit on his arse that do 963 00:55:48,363 --> 00:55:53,243 a decent day's work thinks he can just breeze in and take it all. 964 00:55:53,243 --> 00:55:54,363 Hmm? 965 00:55:55,643 --> 00:55:57,843 The only thing I hate more than thieves... 966 00:56:00,963 --> 00:56:02,603 ..are snitches. 967 00:56:02,603 --> 00:56:04,603 Snitches are like whores. 968 00:56:04,603 --> 00:56:08,243 They'll open their mouths to anyone for the right price. 969 00:56:08,243 --> 00:56:10,963 HE SCREAMS 970 00:56:10,963 --> 00:56:13,283 You broke my leg, man! Yeah, I know. 971 00:56:13,283 --> 00:56:15,963 You broke my fucking leg! I know! 972 00:56:15,963 --> 00:56:17,443 I need a hospital, man! 973 00:56:17,443 --> 00:56:19,883 Yeah. Mile End Hospital is a 20-minute walk. 974 00:56:19,883 --> 00:56:21,963 How am I meant to walk with a broken leg?! 975 00:56:21,963 --> 00:56:23,563 Very slowly, I imagine. 976 00:56:23,563 --> 00:56:25,363 Fuck off, snitch! 977 00:56:25,363 --> 00:56:28,923 HE MOANS IN PAIN 978 00:56:28,923 --> 00:56:31,883 Now, just so there are no surprises, let me just make myself 979 00:56:31,883 --> 00:56:33,683 very, very clear. 980 00:56:33,683 --> 00:56:36,683 One of you is not leaving here alive. 981 00:56:36,683 --> 00:56:38,523 Ain't no need for all that, bro. 982 00:56:38,523 --> 00:56:40,683 But there is a need for that, bro, 983 00:56:40,683 --> 00:56:42,883 cos I need to set a fucking example. 984 00:56:42,883 --> 00:56:45,203 Stop! We'll give you the money back! 985 00:56:45,203 --> 00:56:46,523 We'll pay the money back! 986 00:56:46,523 --> 00:56:48,883 It's too late for that. Please! We'll pay it back and more! 987 00:56:48,883 --> 00:56:50,763 More? Please... More? 988 00:56:50,763 --> 00:56:53,283 Please, just, you can't kill him, please! 989 00:56:53,283 --> 00:56:54,803 No. Not interested. 990 00:56:54,803 --> 00:56:56,243 We'll... What? 991 00:56:56,243 --> 00:56:58,243 We'll wash it for you. Wash it? Wash it. 992 00:56:58,243 --> 00:56:59,483 How are you going to do that? 993 00:56:59,483 --> 00:57:03,003 I, erm, know someone, a dodgy lawyer. A dodgy lawyer? 994 00:57:03,003 --> 00:57:05,963 Please... Have you soiled yourself, cos I smell bullshit? 995 00:57:05,963 --> 00:57:08,603 No, its not bullshit! Please, please, give us... 996 00:57:08,603 --> 00:57:10,683 ..eight weeks. Eight weeks? Please! 997 00:57:10,683 --> 00:57:14,763 How are you going to make that kind of bread in eight weeks? 998 00:57:14,763 --> 00:57:18,763 Because I'm a brainbox with a scholarship to Oxford. 999 00:57:26,563 --> 00:57:29,243 HE GASPS 1000 00:57:36,243 --> 00:57:38,083 HE COUGHS 1001 00:57:44,123 --> 00:57:45,683 Gingernut? 1002 00:57:54,723 --> 00:57:57,083 MUSIC: Far From Any Road by The Handsome Family 1003 00:57:59,403 --> 00:58:03,123 ♪ She twines her spines up slowly 1004 00:58:03,123 --> 00:58:07,003 ♪ Towards the boiling sun 1005 00:58:07,003 --> 00:58:10,923 ♪ And when I touched her skin 1006 00:58:10,923 --> 00:58:15,323 ♪ My fingers ran with blood. ♪