1 00:00:05,363 --> 00:00:07,963 INDISTINCT CHATTER 2 00:00:10,523 --> 00:00:12,003 OK, you can go. 3 00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:16,083 This is the last of it. 4 00:00:21,123 --> 00:00:22,483 Stop! 5 00:00:22,483 --> 00:00:24,443 We'll give you the money back! 6 00:00:24,443 --> 00:00:26,683 Please, we'll pay it back and more! 7 00:00:26,683 --> 00:00:29,723 More! Give us, uh, eight weeks. 8 00:00:38,363 --> 00:00:39,643 That's it. 9 00:00:40,683 --> 00:00:43,443 No. Count it all again. 10 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:47,083 He's counted it three times already. That...is...it. 11 00:00:48,123 --> 00:00:50,763 We did it? We're done. 12 00:00:50,763 --> 00:00:52,643 Woo! 13 00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:56,523 ♪ This train is a clean train, you know this train 14 00:00:58,123 --> 00:01:00,683 ♪ This train is a clean train 15 00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:02,323 ♪ I said, this train... ♪ 16 00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:03,803 Oh, yes! 17 00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:06,443 ♪ This train is a clean train 18 00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:09,003 ♪ Everybody riding in Jesus' name 19 00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:12,443 ♪ Because this train is a cle-e-an train... ♪ 20 00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:14,483 SONG FADES 21 00:01:14,483 --> 00:01:15,523 THEME MUSIC BEGINS 22 00:01:54,043 --> 00:01:56,083 SIREN IN DISTANCE 23 00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:07,563 Ma'am. 24 00:02:08,763 --> 00:02:12,123 Diane. How did you get into the police car park? 25 00:02:12,123 --> 00:02:14,283 Oh, I went up to the front desk, said I had information 26 00:02:14,283 --> 00:02:17,363 on the Somerset Stalker, desk sergeant went to get his notepad - 27 00:02:17,363 --> 00:02:19,243 bingo. Right. 28 00:02:20,523 --> 00:02:23,003 And can I help you with something? Yeah. 29 00:02:24,963 --> 00:02:26,643 Cluck-cluck-cluck. 30 00:02:27,923 --> 00:02:30,563 Excuse me? I found this little bad boy on a routine search 31 00:02:30,563 --> 00:02:33,723 of the community centre, carried out while I was on a date during which 32 00:02:33,723 --> 00:02:35,843 the guy said he was in love with me. 33 00:02:35,843 --> 00:02:37,443 After one date. 34 00:02:37,443 --> 00:02:39,843 You take evidence bags on dates? 35 00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:41,603 What, you don't? 36 00:02:41,603 --> 00:02:46,243 What do you imagine to be the significance of a plastic egg? 37 00:02:46,243 --> 00:02:50,163 Oh. Well, ma'am, these can be used to transport or conceal 38 00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:51,563 illegal drugs 39 00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:55,163 cos they can be inserted into various human orifices. 40 00:02:55,163 --> 00:02:58,963 Oh. You open the egg thusly, pop the drugs in, close the lid, 41 00:02:58,963 --> 00:03:00,883 then gently insert it 42 00:03:00,883 --> 00:03:03,923 into your anal or vaginal cavity. 43 00:03:06,203 --> 00:03:09,323 Like that, or there. 44 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,363 Dealer's choice. Well, uh... Do you want to...? 45 00:03:14,483 --> 00:03:18,403 It's evidence. Thank you, Diane, I will see to this. Pleasure. 46 00:03:20,763 --> 00:03:22,483 Have a good day. 47 00:03:29,003 --> 00:03:30,523 Jesus Christ. 48 00:03:39,563 --> 00:03:42,283 Can I talk to you about something? 49 00:03:42,283 --> 00:03:44,803 Since they granted us the community centre, 50 00:03:44,803 --> 00:03:47,243 there are all these due diligence forms to fill in, 51 00:03:47,243 --> 00:03:50,003 and this one's about money laundering. 52 00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:53,483 Money laundering? Yes. Not-for-profits are a big target 53 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,123 for money launderers, obviously, 54 00:03:55,123 --> 00:03:57,763 and we have to be whiter-than-white. 55 00:03:57,763 --> 00:03:59,523 That's not the phrase I'd use. 56 00:03:59,523 --> 00:04:03,163 So, I was checking our bank account and... 57 00:04:03,163 --> 00:04:04,763 What am I looking at, exactly? 58 00:04:04,763 --> 00:04:08,163 Here. Thousands of pounds going out 59 00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:11,363 to something called Laycock Logistical Services. 60 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,243 Do you know what that is? Hmm. 61 00:04:16,243 --> 00:04:19,283 During my date with Gregory Dillard, I immediately noticed 62 00:04:19,283 --> 00:04:22,323 he shuffled into the pub with hunched shoulders and lowered head, 63 00:04:22,323 --> 00:04:24,483 as if he doesn't want to be seen by the world, 64 00:04:24,483 --> 00:04:27,043 like a paedo in a playground. I get that. 65 00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:29,923 What do you mean, you get that?! During our conversation, 66 00:04:29,923 --> 00:04:33,123 the subject told me he was so lonely he sometimes orders things 67 00:04:33,123 --> 00:04:36,283 from Amazon just so he can see humans over the weekend. 68 00:04:37,963 --> 00:04:39,883 Actually, here I've got written, 69 00:04:39,883 --> 00:04:42,283 "My vagina feels as dry as a camel's arse." 70 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:45,603 This is good. Thank you so much, Diane. I mean, everything you are 71 00:04:45,603 --> 00:04:48,723 saying completely chimes with my own findings. Which are? 72 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,923 Since his divorce, Greg has become so scared of rejection 73 00:04:51,923 --> 00:04:54,723 that to protect himself from it, he has made himself hideous. 74 00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:58,203 Mm. Yeah, I concur. I object. Overruled. Mm. 75 00:04:58,203 --> 00:05:03,003 Also I think all this repression is actually making Greg very dangerous. 76 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:06,003 During our date on Friday, he kissed me 77 00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:08,443 without me giving him any sexual signals. 78 00:05:08,443 --> 00:05:11,243 You asked me to have intercourse with you! 79 00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:13,523 Yeah. As a test. 80 00:05:13,523 --> 00:05:16,163 Mm. What kind of test would that be?! 81 00:05:16,163 --> 00:05:18,403 He came at me with such terrifying lust, 82 00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:20,643 I was forced to pepper spray him. Seriously? 83 00:05:20,643 --> 00:05:22,323 Why do you think I came home in tears? 84 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:24,923 I thought you were like that after every date. 85 00:05:33,563 --> 00:05:35,083 Look who's here. 86 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,003 Hello, son. 87 00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,723 You look well. 88 00:05:43,723 --> 00:05:45,043 So do you. 89 00:05:48,123 --> 00:05:51,363 One month. She's clean. As a whistle. 90 00:05:53,363 --> 00:05:56,683 Good for you, Mum. Weird how it happened. 91 00:05:56,683 --> 00:05:59,043 I was buying gear from this kid and he handed me a leaflet 92 00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:01,563 for one of them drug support groups. 93 00:06:01,563 --> 00:06:04,763 Got to start listening when even your dealer's worried about you, eh? 94 00:06:04,763 --> 00:06:07,123 So, I want to move back in with Mum. No. 95 00:06:08,523 --> 00:06:10,323 Why not? She's better now. 96 00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:14,683 Look, I'm proper glad you're better and that, 97 00:06:14,683 --> 00:06:18,443 but we both know one month's just not a long time. 98 00:06:18,443 --> 00:06:20,483 One day at a time, son. 99 00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:22,003 I couldn't agree with you more. 100 00:06:23,323 --> 00:06:27,003 Esme, go and get ready for school, please. I got ages. 101 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:29,963 Es. Please go and get ready for school. 102 00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:44,603 Do you know she's got a boyfriend now? Yeah, of course. 103 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:47,603 Missy's all grown-up. Still my little girl, though. 104 00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:54,043 It's good to see you. 105 00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:56,603 Congratulations on the coin. I hope it all works out. 106 00:07:07,843 --> 00:07:09,323 Goodbye, Mum. 107 00:07:11,123 --> 00:07:14,363 He's not my legal guardian any more. So, I can move in with you 108 00:07:14,363 --> 00:07:16,483 if I want to. I can do what I want. 109 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,843 Your brother only wants the best for you. 110 00:07:27,523 --> 00:07:29,363 You feel like a big man now? 111 00:07:43,203 --> 00:07:45,763 What in God's name are you doing, Frank? 112 00:07:45,763 --> 00:07:47,603 Ironing. 113 00:07:47,603 --> 00:07:51,203 Well, how'd you learn to do that? Tom showed me a video 114 00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:52,963 on the internet. 115 00:07:52,963 --> 00:07:55,483 I'm going to mow the lawn next. 116 00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:58,043 Who are you and what have you done with my father? 117 00:07:58,043 --> 00:08:00,723 DOORBELL RINGS I'll get it. 118 00:08:00,723 --> 00:08:03,843 It's sort of like making a pizza. Is it? 119 00:08:06,243 --> 00:08:09,203 How's your mom doing? Oh, she's much better. 120 00:08:09,203 --> 00:08:11,843 They think that she had an adverse reaction to some medication. 121 00:08:11,843 --> 00:08:14,003 She's back in the home now. That's good. 122 00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:18,443 We should visit again. 123 00:08:18,443 --> 00:08:20,483 I'd appreciate that, thank you. 124 00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:23,403 Grandpa, there's someone at the door for you. 125 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,083 Hey. 126 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:36,323 What's tickin', chicken? Don't call me chicken. 127 00:08:39,203 --> 00:08:43,963 There's this woman, Claire, she's my second-in-command at the BJC. 128 00:08:43,963 --> 00:08:47,723 Now that we've got our little situation under control, 129 00:08:47,723 --> 00:08:51,563 she's started snooping around in our finances. Why? 130 00:08:51,563 --> 00:08:54,003 She'll do anything to bring me down. 131 00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:57,203 That is, unless I can bring her down first. 132 00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,363 Is that something you could help with? 133 00:09:00,363 --> 00:09:04,043 Are you sure you want to start throwing innocent folks 134 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,963 under the bus? Claire isn't innocent. 135 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,163 She's trying to take control of my group. 136 00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:12,803 If I have to choose between Claire and the BJC, I choose the BJC. 137 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:15,403 You sound like Stalin before the purges. 138 00:09:16,563 --> 00:09:21,563 Do you want to join me in jail if she carries on digging? 139 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:23,043 You and your second-in-command, 140 00:09:23,043 --> 00:09:26,963 you both have BJC credit cards for expenses and whatnot? 141 00:09:26,963 --> 00:09:28,443 Yeah. 142 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:39,723 Good. We'll run the old Windy City Railroad on her. 143 00:09:41,043 --> 00:09:43,323 I need you to... 144 00:09:43,323 --> 00:09:45,363 ..send her on a coffee run. 145 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:54,203 OK. So, let's imagine this is a really hip cocktail bar and, 146 00:09:54,203 --> 00:09:56,203 Greg, let me see you walk in. 147 00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:02,443 You're right, he does walk like he's on the Sex Offenders Register. Yep. 148 00:10:02,443 --> 00:10:05,283 What? You know it's my sight that's bad, not my hearing? 149 00:10:05,283 --> 00:10:07,123 Let's try again. OK, turn around. 150 00:10:07,123 --> 00:10:09,083 Right, chin up. 151 00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:11,323 Shoulders back. Walk. 152 00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,083 You're too stiff, swing your arms. 153 00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,963 You look like a chimp. 154 00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:17,683 Put your thumbs in your belt. 155 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:20,363 OK. Now, lead with your crotch. 156 00:10:21,843 --> 00:10:23,723 Yeah. Too much. Dial it back, dial it back. 157 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:26,563 Add a bit of swagger, yeah, yeah, that's it. 158 00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:29,043 Easy there, cowboy. 159 00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:30,483 I mean, it's... 160 00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:32,963 ..it's...it's good enough? 161 00:10:32,963 --> 00:10:36,803 OK, imagine Diane, she's back in the pub, she's doing a crossword. 162 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,963 Your date never happened, and then you walk over and chat her up. 163 00:10:40,963 --> 00:10:44,723 Yep. Come on. Lean, Greg, lean, let me see some lean. 164 00:10:44,723 --> 00:10:46,683 That's it, yes. 165 00:10:46,683 --> 00:10:48,883 Yes, that's it, Greg. 166 00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,483 And ask her out. 167 00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:55,163 How? Say something off the cuff and flirty. Oh. 168 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,363 Apparently, eight across is "What's your number?" 169 00:10:59,363 --> 00:11:01,883 Oh, really? That's interesting. 170 00:11:01,883 --> 00:11:03,003 Yeah. 171 00:11:03,003 --> 00:11:05,563 Cos six down is "Fuck off, weirdo." 172 00:11:05,563 --> 00:11:07,363 Would that happen? PHONE BUZZES 173 00:11:07,363 --> 00:11:10,083 It just happened, Greg. Roll with it. Hello? 174 00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:11,723 Hello, is that Lady Gabby? 175 00:11:11,723 --> 00:11:14,083 This is Claire from the Bristol Justice Collective. 176 00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:16,443 Oh, hi. How can I help? 177 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:20,003 Have you heard of something called Laycock Logistical Services? 178 00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:22,923 Er, no. Should I have? 179 00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:26,203 Forgive me being so direct but can I ask why you chose to donate 180 00:11:26,203 --> 00:11:29,243 £100,000 to the BJC? I did what now?! 181 00:11:29,243 --> 00:11:32,123 Don't think we're ungrateful. Thanks to you, we didn't have to rely on 182 00:11:32,123 --> 00:11:34,803 a council grant, and we love our new office. I... 183 00:11:34,803 --> 00:11:37,003 I didn't donate £100,00. 184 00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:41,163 I realise you've asked to remain anonymous but I know it was you. 185 00:11:41,163 --> 00:11:44,043 Sorry, I-I...I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. 186 00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:46,923 My lawyer, Greg, handles the money matters. 187 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,923 Why are you asking all of this? 188 00:11:48,923 --> 00:11:52,203 Because I think we could be the victims of money laundering. 189 00:11:56,643 --> 00:11:58,443 You still there? 190 00:11:59,643 --> 00:12:01,643 Let me look into it. 191 00:12:01,643 --> 00:12:04,043 That wasn't flirting, you just shot me in the face! 192 00:12:20,923 --> 00:12:24,323 So...how does it feel, 193 00:12:24,323 --> 00:12:29,003 letting John fly the coop? Well, it may not seem this way now but... 194 00:12:29,003 --> 00:12:32,923 ..what I did will eventually be viewed as a great kindness. 195 00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:35,763 What do you mean? He means, uh... 196 00:12:35,763 --> 00:12:38,963 He means letting me leave without a fight, don't you, Dad? 197 00:12:40,163 --> 00:12:42,123 Right. 198 00:12:42,123 --> 00:12:44,203 I always thought you'd pressed him into 199 00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:45,923 a kind of indentured servitude, 200 00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:48,963 so I was surprised when you let him have his freedom. 201 00:12:48,963 --> 00:12:52,323 Girls, did I hear something about a trifle? 202 00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:56,403 Yes. Come and help me put the sprinkles on the trifle. 203 00:12:57,603 --> 00:12:59,963 This is Daddy's favourite, isn't it? 204 00:12:59,963 --> 00:13:02,483 So, um, you didn't tell her 205 00:13:02,483 --> 00:13:04,323 how it went down, did you? 206 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:10,003 Look, if you want to dress things up for the sake of your marriage, 207 00:13:10,003 --> 00:13:12,083 I understand. What are you doing here, Dad? 208 00:13:13,563 --> 00:13:16,523 I'm at lunch, what does it look like? 209 00:13:16,523 --> 00:13:18,963 Yeah. Just thought you'd pop in for lunch? 210 00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:21,163 Yeah, like I always do. 211 00:13:21,163 --> 00:13:23,123 See you and Ruth and the grandkids. 212 00:13:25,403 --> 00:13:27,043 You fired me. 213 00:13:28,643 --> 00:13:32,283 Like I said, it was nothing personal, only business. 214 00:13:32,283 --> 00:13:35,323 Ah, business. You are ruining me, do you know that? 215 00:13:35,323 --> 00:13:39,723 You have to be able to compartmentalise things, boy. 216 00:13:39,723 --> 00:13:41,923 Work and family are two different things. 217 00:13:41,923 --> 00:13:45,403 We're family, always will be. 218 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,523 Here we are. 219 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:52,163 Oh, my goodness. That is delicious. 220 00:13:52,163 --> 00:13:56,523 Son? Is that not delicious, son? 221 00:13:56,523 --> 00:13:58,963 It's whatever you say it is, Dad. 222 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,723 I'll get some bowls. Yeah. 223 00:14:04,963 --> 00:14:07,763 Can I get six flat whites with oat milk, 224 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:12,083 two mint teas and a masala chai for me? No worries, coming up. 225 00:14:16,803 --> 00:14:21,963 You're one thirsty lady. I drew the short straw for the coffee run. 226 00:14:21,963 --> 00:14:24,123 CANE CLATTERS Oh! 227 00:14:26,923 --> 00:14:30,163 Uh... Oof... 228 00:14:30,163 --> 00:14:33,723 Are you OK? I'll be OK, I'm fine. 229 00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:35,043 Thank you. 230 00:14:37,363 --> 00:14:40,563 Low blood sugar. Thank you. 231 00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:49,723 I said to the bloke, "What is your problem? 232 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:52,523 "Nadger did a shit out of the window." 233 00:14:52,523 --> 00:14:55,603 Anyway, long story short, my Uber rating is down to a 4.3, so... 234 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,163 Oh, hold on, chap, posh trim alert. Your Ladyship! 235 00:14:58,163 --> 00:15:00,763 How lovely to see you. I'm afraid Greg's not here at the moment. 236 00:15:00,763 --> 00:15:03,883 I know. It's you I wanted to see. Fuck off, chap. 237 00:15:03,883 --> 00:15:06,563 How can I help, Your Ladyship? I'd like to see my client account. 238 00:15:06,563 --> 00:15:09,523 Nay problemo. 239 00:15:09,523 --> 00:15:12,923 Um, I know you say you're a lesbian, 240 00:15:12,923 --> 00:15:16,163 and I am totally on board with that, 241 00:15:16,163 --> 00:15:21,043 but would you ever consider trying it with a bloke? 242 00:15:21,043 --> 00:15:22,283 Oh, here we go. 243 00:15:22,283 --> 00:15:25,123 Can you see if I've made any large donations 244 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,963 to something called the BJC? 245 00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:31,363 Uh...yes, a very sizeable amount several months ago. 246 00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:33,843 And Laycock Logistical Services? 247 00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:35,883 Again, a number of large amounts. 248 00:15:35,883 --> 00:15:39,563 In fact, you have one such payment going out today. 249 00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:42,043 Freeze all payments this instant. 250 00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:44,763 What? Just do it. 251 00:15:44,763 --> 00:15:47,043 Who authorised these payments? 252 00:15:47,043 --> 00:15:49,603 Er, Greg. Why? 253 00:15:49,603 --> 00:15:51,563 What's going on? 254 00:15:51,563 --> 00:15:54,523 I need a drink. Want to go and grab a drink? 255 00:15:54,523 --> 00:15:57,243 Does a rocking horse have a wooden cock? 256 00:15:57,243 --> 00:16:00,123 Yeah, I would absolutely... Sorry! 257 00:16:01,763 --> 00:16:04,123 Apres-vous. 258 00:16:04,123 --> 00:16:07,803 How much is that ting, though? Expensive. Expensive. 259 00:16:07,803 --> 00:16:10,203 Oh, shit, you lot, stay there. 260 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,843 Yo. One sec, one sec, one sec. 261 00:16:13,843 --> 00:16:15,163 See you later. 262 00:16:33,003 --> 00:16:34,643 There you go. Thanks. 263 00:16:39,523 --> 00:16:42,043 Right, get some rest. I'll take over. 264 00:16:51,003 --> 00:16:52,923 INDISTINCT CHATTER 265 00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:57,203 Margie, you ever start thinking about a big old lobster dinner? 266 00:16:57,203 --> 00:17:01,003 Mm, no, I've never had lobster. You never had lobster? Why? 267 00:17:01,003 --> 00:17:04,003 Well, I'm a single mum, not Camilla Parker Bowles. 268 00:17:04,003 --> 00:17:08,043 Well, tonight I'm taking you to dinner. 269 00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:10,763 A little fish restaurant I've had my eye on. 270 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:13,403 It's Wednesday, we can't go to a restaurant, I've got a wash on. 271 00:17:13,403 --> 00:17:15,843 Table for four, seven o'clock, it's already booked. 272 00:17:15,843 --> 00:17:20,403 Young Tom, throw on a necktie. It's a high-class joint. 273 00:17:20,403 --> 00:17:22,843 Dad, is this some sort of Last Supper thing? 274 00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:25,123 Have you got test results you need to tell me? 275 00:17:25,123 --> 00:17:26,643 I'm fit as a fiddle. 276 00:17:26,643 --> 00:17:29,683 I just want to treat my family to the finer things. 277 00:17:29,683 --> 00:17:32,283 Make up for lost time. 278 00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:35,243 I totally want to try lobster. Yeah. 279 00:17:35,243 --> 00:17:40,403 I totally want to eat a lobster. Of course you do. Come on. 280 00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:43,163 Margie, put your best dress on. 281 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:46,083 Let your old man treat ya. 282 00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:50,443 Lobster. Lemon. Mwah! 283 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:54,803 Here we go! 284 00:17:54,803 --> 00:17:58,923 So, Yamani wants to leave her husband. Really? Yeah. 285 00:17:58,923 --> 00:18:02,003 Last weekend, Book Group, she told us that she would leave Raj 286 00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:04,683 for Benedict Cumberbatch at the drop of a hat. Her words. 287 00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:07,403 That doesn't mean she's going to leave her husband. That's like me 288 00:18:07,403 --> 00:18:10,003 saying I'd leave Ben for Michael B Jordan, 289 00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:12,843 or Dad saying he'd leave you for... Dame Helen Mirren. 290 00:18:14,123 --> 00:18:17,043 Celebrity crushes don't mean anything. 291 00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:20,003 I also fancy Dame Helen Mirren. 292 00:18:20,003 --> 00:18:24,083 Oh, no, Ben's leaving me for a national treasure! 293 00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:27,483 THEY LAUGH 294 00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:29,403 You're all idiots. 295 00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:33,723 Have you done a business plan? What? 296 00:18:33,723 --> 00:18:36,403 For your food stall in Weston. 297 00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:41,083 Rani's sorting that. Yeah, it's all in my head, 298 00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:43,163 I just need to get it down on paper. 299 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:47,043 Well, I could help you with that. 300 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:49,243 Your mother and I have been talking. 301 00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:53,043 We have some money put aside for when Rani went to university 302 00:18:53,043 --> 00:18:56,083 but, uh, as it's not happening... 303 00:18:56,083 --> 00:19:00,083 We would like to help both of you with the food stall. 304 00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:01,923 Really? Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 305 00:19:04,683 --> 00:19:08,603 Thank you! Thank you so much! 306 00:19:08,603 --> 00:19:11,003 Thank you. Thank you. 307 00:19:11,003 --> 00:19:14,803 Pleasure. Pleasure, pleasure. PHONE BUZZES 308 00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:16,123 Hello? 309 00:19:16,123 --> 00:19:19,163 Time's up. Where's my money. 310 00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:24,883 We transferred the last of the money to you. 311 00:19:24,883 --> 00:19:27,643 No, no, you're 10,000 short. What? 312 00:19:27,643 --> 00:19:30,403 Deadline's today and I told you if you missed it, 313 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,323 I start hurting people you love. 314 00:19:32,323 --> 00:19:35,563 You want cream or custard on your rhubarb crumble? 315 00:19:35,563 --> 00:19:37,843 I'll have custard, Mum. 316 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,763 You having dinner with your mum and dad? 317 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:45,563 Yeah. Mm-hm. That's lovely. My mum and dad have passed on. 318 00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:48,163 It's really important to treasure time with your mum and dad 319 00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:51,003 cos they'll be gone one day. Like tomorrow, 320 00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:53,523 if I don't get the rest of my fucking money. 321 00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:56,323 Your dad and Ben are having both cream and custard. 322 00:19:56,323 --> 00:19:59,363 Mum. I'm on the phone. It's a simple yes or no. 323 00:19:59,363 --> 00:20:01,523 Yes. I'll have both. Oh, fine. 324 00:20:01,523 --> 00:20:03,283 I don't understand what's happened. 325 00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:05,763 Maybe there was some sort of problem with the shell company. 326 00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,923 Not my concern. A deadline's a deadline. 327 00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:11,083 I'm going to need more time to figure out what happened. 328 00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:14,283 I warned you. No extensions, no negotiations. 329 00:20:14,283 --> 00:20:19,043 You have till tomorrow morning or you and I will both be orphans. 330 00:20:21,243 --> 00:20:27,763 ♪ Happy Birthday to you... ♪ 331 00:20:27,763 --> 00:20:30,323 Your crumble's getting cold. 332 00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:35,043 What's wrong? 333 00:20:35,043 --> 00:20:37,643 How is this happening? How is this happ...? 334 00:20:37,643 --> 00:20:39,443 Why didn't you transfer the money? 335 00:20:39,443 --> 00:20:43,003 I did but Gabby stopped it and froze her account. Unfreeze it. 336 00:20:43,003 --> 00:20:46,323 Only she can do that. Then find her, you lanky bastard! 337 00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:49,043 I dunno where she is and she's not answering her phone! 338 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,003 We were done. We were done! 339 00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:56,003 Right. We're just going to have to ask for a bit more time. 340 00:20:56,003 --> 00:20:59,003 This isn't asking a teacher for an extension for an essay! 341 00:20:59,003 --> 00:21:02,283 He said he'd kill my parents! OK. Right. 342 00:21:02,283 --> 00:21:07,043 How do we make £10,000 by tomorrow? 343 00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:09,203 We could...hold up a bank? 344 00:21:09,203 --> 00:21:12,443 We're not holding up a bank. We could hold up...a petrol station. 345 00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:17,083 We're not holding up anything. We could kidnap somebody rich. 346 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:19,203 Gabby's dad's loaded. We could kidnap Gabby 347 00:21:19,203 --> 00:21:21,923 and then threaten to cut off her fingers every hour. 348 00:21:21,923 --> 00:21:24,843 OK, let's calm down, all right? We're not in the Yakuza. 349 00:21:24,843 --> 00:21:28,043 And we'd run out of fingers before her father paid a penny. Oh! 350 00:21:28,043 --> 00:21:30,723 Tony Robinson from Blackadder lives locally. Is he rich? 351 00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,523 He's a white male actor. We're not kidnapping Baldrick! 352 00:21:33,523 --> 00:21:36,243 We're not kidnapping anyone! Do you have a better idea?! 353 00:21:36,243 --> 00:21:38,723 Pressure selling. What's pressure selling? 354 00:21:38,723 --> 00:21:40,803 Huh? Pressure selling? Yeah, what about it? 355 00:21:40,803 --> 00:21:43,123 You just brought it up. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. 356 00:21:43,123 --> 00:21:48,563 You just mentioned pressure selling as a way to make fast sales? Yes. 357 00:21:48,563 --> 00:21:50,803 We need to approach our client list with a time limit. 358 00:21:50,803 --> 00:21:54,043 That's what we need to do. Bulk offers, OK? And persistence closing. 359 00:21:54,043 --> 00:21:55,363 That's what we need to do. 360 00:21:55,363 --> 00:21:57,763 We don't let them go anywhere until they have bought fast 361 00:21:57,763 --> 00:22:00,323 and they have bought in bulk. I mean, it's a form of bullying... 362 00:22:00,323 --> 00:22:01,963 You'd know something about bullying, 363 00:22:01,963 --> 00:22:04,563 calling me a lanky bastard. Look in the mirror once in a while. 364 00:22:04,563 --> 00:22:06,923 Who's a lanky bastard? 365 00:22:06,923 --> 00:22:10,603 You just said I was a lanky bastard. What did you say? 366 00:22:16,443 --> 00:22:19,163 I will never be able to go back to tuna in a can. 367 00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:22,203 You want another lobster, I can tell. 368 00:22:22,203 --> 00:22:24,563 Do people have two in a row? 369 00:22:24,563 --> 00:22:27,163 One time in Maine, I ate five. 370 00:22:27,163 --> 00:22:30,043 For a bet, which I lost. 371 00:22:30,043 --> 00:22:32,523 How many did the other guy have? I'm not sure, 372 00:22:32,523 --> 00:22:34,843 I was wheeled out with butter poisoning. 373 00:22:34,843 --> 00:22:37,603 SHE LAUGHS 374 00:22:37,603 --> 00:22:41,043 I might get a coffee. 375 00:22:43,603 --> 00:22:47,723 Oh! Masala chai. You have to try a cup. 376 00:22:47,723 --> 00:22:50,803 Nothing washes down shellfish better. 377 00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:54,083 OK, can we get two masala chais, please? 378 00:23:00,803 --> 00:23:04,323 What's up? It's Lady G, live from Bar Revelation, 379 00:23:04,323 --> 00:23:09,883 which is appropriate as I'm thinking about telling you...a secret. 380 00:23:18,803 --> 00:23:20,843 PHONE RINGS 381 00:23:30,203 --> 00:23:33,323 Yes, yes, but we are about to close up shop soon and I would hate 382 00:23:33,323 --> 00:23:34,803 for you to get to the weekend, 383 00:23:34,803 --> 00:23:37,443 not get your hands on a nice, strong macchiato. 384 00:23:37,443 --> 00:23:40,043 What if you find yourself real thirsty after we close? 385 00:23:40,043 --> 00:23:43,363 Yeah, fine, then - hang up. Still there, are we? 386 00:23:43,363 --> 00:23:45,323 Cos you know a great offer when you hear one, 387 00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:47,843 but this offer must end midnight. Look, if I were you, 388 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:51,483 I would stock up for the holidays. Christmas. Easter. Half term. 389 00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:56,283 Take your pick. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. What? 390 00:23:56,283 --> 00:24:01,883 ..you might think that he was, you know, a nice sweet nerd. 391 00:24:01,883 --> 00:24:06,323 But he isn't. No. And this is a story of discovery 392 00:24:06,323 --> 00:24:10,123 but also of betrayal, and I'm not sure if I should tell it 393 00:24:10,123 --> 00:24:13,563 because if I do then, well, he won't have a flatmate any more, 394 00:24:13,563 --> 00:24:17,403 he will have a cellmate. Oh. Yeah. Shots fired. 395 00:24:18,883 --> 00:24:21,083 Is that live? Very. 396 00:24:21,083 --> 00:24:23,643 Does she know about the money laundering? Dunno. 397 00:24:23,643 --> 00:24:25,843 I bet Claire's told her something. 398 00:24:25,843 --> 00:24:28,963 She is trying to take the BJC away from me. 399 00:24:28,963 --> 00:24:32,443 She's not even from Bristol. She's bloody Scottish! 400 00:24:32,443 --> 00:24:34,363 Bloody foreigners. Coming over here, 401 00:24:34,363 --> 00:24:37,403 stealing our black civil rights groups, eh? Focus! 402 00:24:37,403 --> 00:24:41,083 You better find Gabby and stop her talking. 403 00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:42,363 Go! 404 00:25:01,843 --> 00:25:04,883 INDISTINCT CHATTER 405 00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:07,283 Business is booming all of a sudden. 406 00:25:14,243 --> 00:25:16,003 Oh, is any of that going spare? 407 00:25:21,283 --> 00:25:25,043 I'm back, unleashed. You know what? 408 00:25:25,043 --> 00:25:27,203 You shouldn't trust anyone. Don't... Don't... 409 00:25:27,203 --> 00:25:29,763 Don't trust your...your family, don't trust your friends, 410 00:25:29,763 --> 00:25:32,563 don't trust lawyers called Greg Dillard. 411 00:25:32,563 --> 00:25:34,963 Yeah, and do you know what? He's a fucking creep, actually. 412 00:25:34,963 --> 00:25:37,723 I went on his internet search history once, just for fun, and he 413 00:25:37,723 --> 00:25:40,683 searched "Viagra, how much is too much?" People need to know that 414 00:25:40,683 --> 00:25:46,243 they can't break my heart any more, don't they? I mean, really? 415 00:25:46,243 --> 00:25:50,243 Let me know in the comments if you think I should tell my story. 416 00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:52,883 Did she say Greg Dillard? Mm-hm. What is that? 417 00:25:52,883 --> 00:25:55,683 Remember Lady Gabby? Her live feed just popped up. 418 00:25:55,683 --> 00:25:57,083 She's on a massive bender, 419 00:25:57,083 --> 00:26:01,003 blabbering on about a criminal conspiracy. What a hot mess. 420 00:26:01,003 --> 00:26:04,363 Bring her in. Huh? Remember that kid who was in for armed robbery, 421 00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,123 we thought he had drug ties? Yeah. 422 00:26:06,123 --> 00:26:08,923 Well, the lawyer who magically showed up to take his case... 423 00:26:08,923 --> 00:26:10,003 Was Greg Dillard. 424 00:26:10,003 --> 00:26:13,003 The same lawyer we saw in court defending Christian Taylor. 425 00:26:13,003 --> 00:26:16,763 The same lawyer who's doing CS at Bennysfield. Go. 426 00:26:30,443 --> 00:26:34,883 OK, I'm putting you down for three flat whites and an expresso martini. 427 00:26:34,883 --> 00:26:38,683 I will offer you this at a reduced price if you buy in bulk. 428 00:26:38,683 --> 00:26:40,603 Well, then throw a party. 429 00:26:40,603 --> 00:26:44,523 You'll be Mr Popular. All right, cool. 430 00:26:44,523 --> 00:26:47,483 What are you going to say to Grandad? 431 00:26:47,483 --> 00:26:50,483 Thank you for my lobster. Thank you for my lobster. 432 00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:56,243 Yeah, thank you, Dad, for a lovely evening. Oh, sure. And this is? 433 00:26:56,243 --> 00:27:02,283 Masala chai. Cardamom. Cinnamon. 434 00:27:02,283 --> 00:27:04,843 Cloves. Delicious. 435 00:27:07,883 --> 00:27:09,003 Mm! 436 00:27:16,243 --> 00:27:17,603 Smell that. 437 00:27:20,123 --> 00:27:22,803 I'd like to pay with this, please. Of course. 438 00:27:26,363 --> 00:27:30,243 INAUDIBLE THEN INDISTINCT CHATTER 439 00:27:50,443 --> 00:27:54,043 Where are you going? Inside? My friends are all expecting me. 440 00:27:54,043 --> 00:27:57,323 Nah, you're not coming in here. Why not? Cos the people we want in here 441 00:27:57,323 --> 00:28:00,963 look like they're going to provide glamour, not IT support. 442 00:28:00,963 --> 00:28:03,923 Step aside, mate. All right? 443 00:28:03,923 --> 00:28:05,883 Gabby! Mate, step away from the glass 444 00:28:05,883 --> 00:28:08,483 before I put your head through it. Seriously. Just let me in. No. 445 00:28:08,483 --> 00:28:10,723 Now, move. Come on. All right, I'm going. 446 00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:12,083 THEY LAUGH 447 00:28:12,083 --> 00:28:14,283 I could laugh at you if I want. 448 00:28:14,283 --> 00:28:17,323 INAUDIBLE 449 00:28:44,243 --> 00:28:46,123 Gabby! Ga... 450 00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:16,723 Cool. I'll send someone to you now. Ah, but this is a one-time deal. 451 00:29:16,723 --> 00:29:19,003 Yeah. Only for our most valued customers. 452 00:29:19,003 --> 00:29:23,323 You absolutely are, madam, yes, both you and your grandson. 453 00:29:23,323 --> 00:29:25,443 All right, so shall we say your usual? 454 00:29:25,443 --> 00:29:29,163 Oh, yeah. We've got our own dedicated delivery team. 455 00:30:01,563 --> 00:30:03,883 Karmacoma, Jamaica and Roma. 456 00:30:23,323 --> 00:30:26,923 Hiya. What? Can I come in, please? 457 00:30:26,923 --> 00:30:29,163 Password? 458 00:30:29,163 --> 00:30:31,123 Is it my mother's maiden name? 459 00:31:32,763 --> 00:31:34,323 Jesus! Woo! 460 00:31:37,763 --> 00:31:40,963 Don't mind me, I'm just...passing through. 461 00:31:40,963 --> 00:31:43,363 Greg? Yeah? 462 00:31:43,363 --> 00:31:44,883 It's Rosie. 463 00:31:44,883 --> 00:31:48,603 I was giving you a blowie when you reversed into that police car. 464 00:31:48,603 --> 00:31:51,203 Oh, right, yeah. How's it going? 465 00:31:51,203 --> 00:31:54,363 Yeah, yeah, mustn't grumble. Keeping busy. 466 00:31:54,363 --> 00:31:56,803 What happened that night with you, after? 467 00:31:56,803 --> 00:32:00,083 Cos I just got off with a warning. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, I got, um, 468 00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:03,483 120 hours of community service. Oh, no. Yeah. 469 00:32:03,483 --> 00:32:06,923 How did it go? Not great, if I'm honest. 470 00:32:06,923 --> 00:32:08,883 I ended up getting blackmailed 471 00:32:08,883 --> 00:32:11,483 and now I'm in hock to a ruthless London drug dealer. 472 00:32:11,483 --> 00:32:13,803 I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah. 473 00:32:13,803 --> 00:32:16,883 Oi! I'm sorry to break up this little reunion 474 00:32:16,883 --> 00:32:19,723 but I'm paying by the hour here, mate. Oh! 475 00:32:19,723 --> 00:32:22,843 Shut up, you little bitch! Yes, mistress. Eh, listen. 476 00:32:22,843 --> 00:32:25,363 I'm done here in 20 minutes if you want anything doing. 477 00:32:25,363 --> 00:32:28,363 We could finish that blowie that you never got. 478 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,683 That's very good of you, but no, I can't, actually, 479 00:32:30,683 --> 00:32:33,483 cos I've got to quickly try and find one of my other clients before she, 480 00:32:33,483 --> 00:32:36,883 um, sends me to jail. Oh. You have been a bad boy. 481 00:32:36,883 --> 00:32:40,163 Anyway, lovely to see you. It's been good to see you. 482 00:32:40,163 --> 00:32:43,003 Thank you so much. Sorry for interrupting you. 483 00:32:43,003 --> 00:32:44,083 OK. 484 00:32:44,083 --> 00:32:48,683 Woo! You've been a bad boy! Oh, yes, you have! 485 00:32:57,083 --> 00:32:58,243 Ooh! 486 00:33:00,123 --> 00:33:01,363 Evening. 487 00:33:05,803 --> 00:33:08,323 I don't suppose you've got a member of the landed gentry 488 00:33:08,323 --> 00:33:09,643 in here, have you? 489 00:33:14,403 --> 00:33:16,363 There's so many whips. 490 00:33:43,323 --> 00:33:44,803 Gabby! 491 00:33:46,323 --> 00:33:47,483 Gabby? 492 00:33:58,483 --> 00:33:59,683 Gabby? 493 00:34:07,683 --> 00:34:08,763 Gabby. 494 00:34:10,083 --> 00:34:13,043 Judas! Can we speak in private, please? 495 00:34:13,043 --> 00:34:14,603 Anything you have to say, 496 00:34:14,603 --> 00:34:18,003 you can say in front of my real friends here. 497 00:34:18,003 --> 00:34:19,523 There's a policeman here. 498 00:34:19,523 --> 00:34:22,363 Good. I have things to say to him. 499 00:34:22,363 --> 00:34:25,003 Just let me explain first. It's too late for explaining. 500 00:34:25,003 --> 00:34:28,403 Just hear me out. And if you still want to turn me in, 501 00:34:28,403 --> 00:34:29,923 I won't stop you. 502 00:34:32,363 --> 00:34:33,603 Please. 503 00:34:41,323 --> 00:34:43,683 Police. 504 00:34:43,683 --> 00:34:47,283 Has anyone seen Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe? 505 00:34:47,283 --> 00:34:50,083 Right, then, you cheeky little monkeys. Guess who's brought 506 00:34:50,083 --> 00:34:52,923 the goods. We have got Chang and a lovely bit of MD...Mmm... 507 00:34:52,923 --> 00:34:56,043 ..mazing that you are here, Detective, 508 00:34:56,043 --> 00:34:59,843 because these are drugs. 509 00:34:59,843 --> 00:35:02,043 Yuck. 510 00:35:02,043 --> 00:35:04,603 Did you find my watch, by the way? 511 00:35:13,963 --> 00:35:17,603 We should get a move on, I think. I want an explanation, right now. 512 00:35:17,603 --> 00:35:18,923 Shall we do that at home over 513 00:35:18,923 --> 00:35:21,803 a cup of tea and a Mr Kipling? No, explain. What have you been doing? 514 00:35:21,803 --> 00:35:25,283 It's... It's so complicated, Gabby. Well, then un-complicate it, Greg. 515 00:35:27,043 --> 00:35:28,603 I've been using your client account 516 00:35:28,603 --> 00:35:30,923 to launder the proceeds of an illegal drug operation. 517 00:35:33,763 --> 00:35:36,643 Right. That's it, is it? Yeah. 518 00:35:36,643 --> 00:35:38,523 Cool. Great. 519 00:35:38,523 --> 00:35:42,923 Great. Shall we go? No, not great, Greg! Not cool! 520 00:35:42,923 --> 00:35:44,963 You've been using me to launder...?! 521 00:35:47,203 --> 00:35:51,523 So when you...when you said that everyone else in my life was a mooch 522 00:35:51,523 --> 00:35:54,963 and a hanger-on and I thought that that meant you really cared about 523 00:35:54,963 --> 00:35:57,043 me, that was bollocks? 524 00:35:57,043 --> 00:35:59,403 No, I do care about you. Of course. 525 00:35:59,403 --> 00:36:01,283 How can you say that?! 526 00:36:01,283 --> 00:36:05,483 Literally no-one in my life has used me more than you! 527 00:36:07,443 --> 00:36:09,203 I know. I'm sorry. 528 00:36:10,563 --> 00:36:12,363 You're my consigliere. 529 00:36:15,363 --> 00:36:18,923 I know you hired me to protect you and look after you 530 00:36:18,923 --> 00:36:20,883 and, uh, I betrayed you. 531 00:36:22,323 --> 00:36:25,443 But you have to know, I would never deliberately hurt you. 532 00:36:25,443 --> 00:36:27,763 You know, money laundering and exploiting you, 533 00:36:27,763 --> 00:36:29,843 that's not something I would choose to do. 534 00:36:29,843 --> 00:36:32,963 It's not just that you're my lawyer, Greg. 535 00:36:35,523 --> 00:36:38,283 I thought you were my friend. 536 00:36:38,283 --> 00:36:39,643 I am your friend. 537 00:36:43,523 --> 00:36:46,083 I know. I'm so sorry, Gabby. 538 00:36:46,083 --> 00:36:48,963 I don't even know how I ended up doing this. 539 00:36:48,963 --> 00:36:51,243 All I know is that there's guns, and threats, 540 00:36:51,243 --> 00:36:54,083 and everyone's lives are in danger if I don't do this. 541 00:36:56,203 --> 00:37:00,003 Whose lives? Who else is involved? 542 00:37:00,003 --> 00:37:03,083 Rani, Ben, Myrna, John, Frank. 543 00:37:05,203 --> 00:37:08,443 I'm the only one who doesn't know about this? 544 00:37:08,443 --> 00:37:09,483 Yeah. 545 00:38:26,563 --> 00:38:29,243 Yup, all here. 546 00:38:29,243 --> 00:38:31,563 Go on, kids, be on your way. 547 00:38:33,723 --> 00:38:35,843 Police are watching the building. 548 00:38:35,843 --> 00:38:37,243 What we going to do? 549 00:38:37,243 --> 00:38:39,203 Fuck. We're all fucked. 550 00:39:05,003 --> 00:39:08,603 Our humble thanks for attending Fight Back Bristol. 551 00:39:08,603 --> 00:39:10,083 We'll be back next week, 552 00:39:10,083 --> 00:39:12,483 so be sure to tell all of your friends. 553 00:39:12,483 --> 00:39:14,203 And remember - 554 00:39:14,203 --> 00:39:17,123 we will NEVER give up on you 555 00:39:17,123 --> 00:39:19,603 so, please, don't give up on yourselves. 556 00:39:19,603 --> 00:39:23,883 And if anyone should offer you drugs, what do we do? 557 00:39:23,883 --> 00:39:25,403 ALL: Just say no. 558 00:39:48,443 --> 00:39:51,603 Fight Back Bristol? What is that? 559 00:39:51,603 --> 00:39:55,283 Grassroots initiative. People like us with criminal records 560 00:39:55,283 --> 00:39:57,723 just trying to ensure that the kids 561 00:39:57,723 --> 00:40:00,243 don't make the same mistakes that we did. I mean, 562 00:40:00,243 --> 00:40:02,963 can't wait for the system to step in, can you? 563 00:40:06,043 --> 00:40:07,883 So you're all activists now? 564 00:40:07,883 --> 00:40:09,723 Just caring members of the community. 565 00:40:13,563 --> 00:40:17,363 You're feeling a deep ideological connection to the movement, are you? 566 00:40:20,923 --> 00:40:22,283 What's your home address? 567 00:40:27,523 --> 00:40:29,563 He lives in Clifton Towns. 568 00:40:29,563 --> 00:40:32,643 He can't speak for himself? Well, yeah, of course he can. 569 00:40:32,643 --> 00:40:35,283 But if what you're implying is that there's no place 570 00:40:35,283 --> 00:40:37,283 for a white, middle-class man in this, 571 00:40:37,283 --> 00:40:39,203 then you'd be wrong. In some ways... 572 00:40:39,203 --> 00:40:41,483 Spare me the lecture. Please. 573 00:41:03,763 --> 00:41:05,883 Are we OK? Everyone OK? 574 00:41:05,883 --> 00:41:09,003 John, are you OK? That was close! Ha! 575 00:41:09,003 --> 00:41:12,883 Yeah, way too close. Definitely way too close. 576 00:41:12,883 --> 00:41:16,643 Oh, come on, you've got to admit - it's a bit of a thrill. 577 00:41:16,643 --> 00:41:18,523 We weren't ziplining, Rani. 578 00:41:18,523 --> 00:41:20,963 Oh, my God. You're so boring! 579 00:41:20,963 --> 00:41:24,683 I don't want to run around with drugs and guns and money. 580 00:41:24,683 --> 00:41:26,923 That's different to being boring. 581 00:41:26,923 --> 00:41:29,123 Be careful, Rani. 582 00:41:29,123 --> 00:41:31,883 You know who told me this before? 583 00:41:31,883 --> 00:41:34,883 Who? Christian Taylor. 584 00:41:34,883 --> 00:41:36,563 And that's why he's in jail 585 00:41:36,563 --> 00:41:37,603 and I'm not. DOOR OPENS 586 00:41:39,523 --> 00:41:43,083 Hi, lovelies. How's the drug dealing going? 587 00:41:44,363 --> 00:41:46,123 You told her? 588 00:41:55,083 --> 00:41:58,683 My mum killed herself when I was six years old. 589 00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:00,163 My dad was never home 590 00:42:00,163 --> 00:42:05,083 so I was just passed from caretaker to caretaker. 591 00:42:05,083 --> 00:42:07,163 Never really had a real family. 592 00:42:09,443 --> 00:42:13,643 But all of us over the past few months, working together, 593 00:42:13,643 --> 00:42:14,963 laughing together... 594 00:42:16,803 --> 00:42:20,283 ..it's kind of felt like we were a family. 595 00:42:24,403 --> 00:42:26,643 I'm sorry, Gabby. We should never have involved you. 596 00:42:26,643 --> 00:42:30,323 I can only imagine how upsetting it must be to wake up 597 00:42:30,323 --> 00:42:35,283 and find yourself embroiled in a criminal conspiracy. 598 00:42:35,283 --> 00:42:37,403 I'm not upset because you've involved me 599 00:42:37,403 --> 00:42:39,883 in a criminal conspiracy. 600 00:42:39,883 --> 00:42:42,883 I'm upset because you haven't. 601 00:42:42,883 --> 00:42:45,963 What? I know everything about drugs. 602 00:42:45,963 --> 00:42:49,003 I've been using them since I was 12. 603 00:42:49,003 --> 00:42:50,843 I know what's good, I know what's bad, 604 00:42:50,843 --> 00:42:54,003 I know the jargon, the prices. 605 00:42:54,003 --> 00:42:55,963 I could help you. 606 00:42:55,963 --> 00:42:59,363 So you're saying you WANT to be a part of a criminal conspiracy? 607 00:42:59,363 --> 00:43:00,403 Yes! 608 00:43:00,403 --> 00:43:02,043 SCOFFS AND STUTTERS 609 00:43:02,043 --> 00:43:04,323 Now, which one of you is the Mr Big? 610 00:43:26,723 --> 00:43:28,563 What happened to you last night? 611 00:43:29,763 --> 00:43:31,603 I-I talked my way out of it 612 00:43:31,603 --> 00:43:33,163 but it was so awkward 613 00:43:33,163 --> 00:43:36,403 that even the bloke in the gimp mask couldn't look at me. 614 00:43:36,403 --> 00:43:39,723 Luckily, I managed to get away when an ambulance showed up. 615 00:43:39,723 --> 00:43:42,323 Some pervert got his fist stuck inside someone else. 616 00:43:42,323 --> 00:43:44,043 Did he lose his watch as well? 617 00:43:44,043 --> 00:43:47,563 I need to make a fresh transfer to Laycock Logistical Services. 618 00:43:47,563 --> 00:43:49,963 W—We froze the account. Well, now we need to thaw it out 619 00:43:49,963 --> 00:43:54,163 cos I've got a lot of logistics I need servicing. So, chop chop. Um... 620 00:44:04,203 --> 00:44:05,403 BIRDS CAW 621 00:44:26,523 --> 00:44:27,643 WHISPERS: We did it. 622 00:44:36,163 --> 00:44:37,363 Ain't you happy? 623 00:44:38,963 --> 00:44:42,363 Yeah. Of course I am. Tell your face then. 624 00:44:42,363 --> 00:44:43,403 HE CHUCKLES 625 00:44:46,603 --> 00:44:48,163 What's eating you? 626 00:44:48,163 --> 00:44:50,483 Nothing. Well, I... 627 00:44:52,243 --> 00:44:54,603 Ben said something but... 628 00:44:54,603 --> 00:44:56,883 ..it doesn't matter. It's fine. What did he say? 629 00:44:59,403 --> 00:45:01,083 He said I remind him of you. 630 00:45:01,083 --> 00:45:03,443 When you was in the sack? 631 00:45:03,443 --> 00:45:05,363 No. When we were arguing. 632 00:45:08,323 --> 00:45:10,883 I said he was boring, 633 00:45:10,883 --> 00:45:13,323 then he said that... 634 00:45:13,323 --> 00:45:15,843 ..I'm enjoying this gang shit too much. 635 00:45:18,243 --> 00:45:19,443 Are you? 636 00:45:20,803 --> 00:45:21,923 No. 637 00:45:25,763 --> 00:45:28,483 When me and Ben were just young guys, 638 00:45:28,483 --> 00:45:31,403 olders in our neighbourhood all had cars, 639 00:45:31,403 --> 00:45:35,643 nice jewellery and cash, working for The Dean. 640 00:45:35,643 --> 00:45:39,003 There was easy money to be made running with them. 641 00:45:39,003 --> 00:45:45,603 And on top of that, the status and respect and... 642 00:45:45,603 --> 00:45:49,163 ..you know, the hype gets addictive, right? 643 00:45:51,043 --> 00:45:54,883 Your boy Ben was smart. He resisted. 644 00:45:54,883 --> 00:45:58,363 Me? I started in country, 645 00:45:58,363 --> 00:46:00,483 then started running my own team. 646 00:46:00,483 --> 00:46:04,283 And the whole time, I'm thinking, "This isn't who I am." 647 00:46:04,283 --> 00:46:08,283 I'll just make some quick P's then go back to where I was. 648 00:46:08,283 --> 00:46:12,403 But one day, you wake up and it IS who you are. 649 00:46:12,403 --> 00:46:15,563 And it's too late to go back to where you was. 650 00:46:15,563 --> 00:46:19,043 And the next thing you know, you're wearing the same grey tracksuit 651 00:46:19,043 --> 00:46:21,563 with the same grey socks and the same grey underwear - 652 00:46:21,563 --> 00:46:24,403 because they're all washed together - 653 00:46:24,403 --> 00:46:28,963 spending 23 hours a day in the same four-square-metre room. 654 00:46:28,963 --> 00:46:30,563 Take it from me... 655 00:46:31,883 --> 00:46:33,483 ..that's boring. 656 00:46:47,083 --> 00:46:49,843 Four black Americanos, a masala chai 657 00:46:49,843 --> 00:46:51,683 and a piece of that cake. 658 00:46:51,683 --> 00:46:53,363 Right, two seconds. 659 00:46:55,843 --> 00:46:57,963 Morning. 660 00:46:57,963 --> 00:47:02,723 Right, there is a coffee there for you 661 00:47:02,723 --> 00:47:06,443 and a masala ch... Ooh! 662 00:47:06,443 --> 00:47:10,083 Shit! I am so sorry. Oh! 663 00:47:10,083 --> 00:47:12,203 Let's just get that off of there. 664 00:47:17,163 --> 00:47:19,243 Doesn't matter that it's a bit dry in there. 665 00:47:19,243 --> 00:47:21,763 Sorry about that. I'm more fingers than thumbs today. 666 00:47:21,763 --> 00:47:23,163 OK... 667 00:47:23,163 --> 00:47:25,803 Right, let me get you some more tissues... Please. 668 00:47:25,803 --> 00:47:26,843 Coffee... 669 00:47:27,843 --> 00:47:30,523 Oh... Right, tissues, tissues. 670 00:47:33,483 --> 00:47:36,083 What was you doing in the house, all alone with a boy, 671 00:47:36,083 --> 00:47:38,803 without telling me? It's my house, too. Oh, it's your house? 672 00:47:38,803 --> 00:47:42,283 Do you pay bills? Do you know what? Furthermore, give me your phone. 673 00:47:42,283 --> 00:47:44,923 Why? Give me your phone. I want to know who the guy is. 674 00:47:44,923 --> 00:47:47,283 Give me your phone. He's none of your business. 675 00:47:47,283 --> 00:47:49,043 It was past midnight on a school night 676 00:47:49,043 --> 00:47:52,203 and you were here chilling with some boy. We were studying! 677 00:47:52,203 --> 00:47:55,283 This is why I want to live with Mum. Because she lets me do what I want. 678 00:47:55,283 --> 00:47:58,363 It's because she's a smackhead! Not any more! 679 00:47:58,363 --> 00:48:01,603 She just trusts me. 680 00:48:01,603 --> 00:48:02,883 Dickhead. 681 00:48:10,643 --> 00:48:13,083 You have to let her live her own life. Sometimes. 682 00:48:13,083 --> 00:48:18,003 Not yet I don't. She's 16. You can't protect her all the time. 683 00:48:18,003 --> 00:48:21,243 Yeah, well, I can try. Well, my parents tried. 684 00:48:21,243 --> 00:48:24,323 They tried to wrap me up in cotton wool my whole life. 685 00:48:26,003 --> 00:48:27,603 Look how I turned out. 686 00:48:28,963 --> 00:48:30,243 WHISPERS: I'm a drug dealer. 687 00:48:36,323 --> 00:48:40,763 OK. You're not...boring. 688 00:48:40,763 --> 00:48:42,803 You're right. 689 00:48:42,803 --> 00:48:45,403 I was getting hooked on buzz. 690 00:48:45,403 --> 00:48:46,643 So, anyway, 691 00:48:46,643 --> 00:48:47,723 it... 692 00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:51,403 It's over. I'm back. 693 00:48:54,083 --> 00:48:55,523 I'm sorry. 694 00:49:01,243 --> 00:49:03,963 You were starting to scare me there. 695 00:49:03,963 --> 00:49:06,483 I thought I was sharing a bed with the Godfather. 696 00:49:11,043 --> 00:49:13,763 About Es. 697 00:49:13,763 --> 00:49:17,723 If things go wrong with your mum, she knows where to find you. 698 00:49:22,363 --> 00:49:26,043 Myrna? Claire? Um, have you got a minute? 699 00:49:27,443 --> 00:49:29,323 I just found something a bit odd, 700 00:49:29,323 --> 00:49:31,883 and I was wondering if you could help me get to the bottom of it. 701 00:49:31,883 --> 00:49:33,203 Something odd? 702 00:49:33,203 --> 00:49:35,763 Yeah, I was just going through the BJC bank account - you know, 703 00:49:35,763 --> 00:49:38,163 doing the money laundering due diligence and everything. 704 00:49:38,163 --> 00:49:42,763 I just found this payment on Claire's company card for £518. 705 00:49:42,763 --> 00:49:45,843 What? Let me see. Is that your card number? 706 00:49:45,843 --> 00:49:49,323 Yes, but what's Le Grande Poisson? 707 00:49:49,323 --> 00:49:51,723 I think it means "the big fish". It's, um, 708 00:49:51,723 --> 00:49:55,123 a fancy seafood place in Clifton. But did you use your BJC card 709 00:49:55,123 --> 00:49:56,923 to pay for a meal in there or anything? 710 00:49:56,923 --> 00:50:00,803 No, I've never even been there. No? It's probably some kind of mistake. 711 00:50:00,803 --> 00:50:03,403 Greg, could you call them, please? On it. 712 00:50:03,403 --> 00:50:06,003 HE TAPS BUTTONS RAPIDLY 713 00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:07,923 LINE RINGS THROUGH SPEAKER 714 00:50:09,043 --> 00:50:10,963 Le Grand Poisson, how may I help? 715 00:50:10,963 --> 00:50:13,403 Uh, hi. Can I speak to your manager, please? This is he. 716 00:50:13,403 --> 00:50:15,443 Hi, my name's Myrna and I just wanted to check 717 00:50:15,443 --> 00:50:18,923 and see if a credit card was used in your restaurant last night. 718 00:50:18,923 --> 00:50:22,363 It ends in... BOTH: 9335. 719 00:50:22,363 --> 00:50:23,763 Hold on, please. 720 00:50:23,763 --> 00:50:27,523 Someone probably stole your card. No, it's here. 721 00:50:28,643 --> 00:50:32,043 Yes. That card was used here last night. Right, um, 722 00:50:32,043 --> 00:50:34,043 can you tell me what it was spent on? 723 00:50:34,043 --> 00:50:36,283 Three dozen oysters, four lobster mains, 724 00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:39,043 a truffle mac and cheese, two bottles of champagne... 725 00:50:39,043 --> 00:50:42,563 Someone was peckish. ..and two masala chais. 726 00:50:44,243 --> 00:50:48,523 Right, so, that's your drink, isn't it? Yes, but... OK, thank you. 727 00:50:48,523 --> 00:50:50,163 You're welcome. LINE DISCONNECTS 728 00:50:50,163 --> 00:50:54,243 Claire, if you were in my position, 729 00:50:54,243 --> 00:50:55,723 what would you do right now? 730 00:50:57,043 --> 00:51:00,883 This is... Someone has done this. Done what? 731 00:51:00,883 --> 00:51:02,803 I don't know. Made it look like... 732 00:51:02,803 --> 00:51:05,843 Claire, it gives me no pleasure to say this 733 00:51:05,843 --> 00:51:08,523 but, while we investigate this matter, 734 00:51:08,523 --> 00:51:11,443 I feel I have to suspend you. 735 00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:14,403 Suspend me? We need to be whiter-than-white. 736 00:51:17,123 --> 00:51:18,723 Erm... 737 00:51:18,723 --> 00:51:20,363 OK. CLAIRE CLEARS HER THROAT 738 00:51:20,363 --> 00:51:21,443 Yeah, sure. 739 00:51:54,003 --> 00:51:55,203 What? 740 00:51:57,483 --> 00:52:00,523 Activism is a fight. Sometimes, you have to fight dirty. 741 00:52:00,523 --> 00:52:02,483 What was I supposed to do? 742 00:52:12,883 --> 00:52:14,483 HUSHED CONVERSATION 743 00:52:17,083 --> 00:52:18,123 Hey. 744 00:52:20,283 --> 00:52:21,523 Hey. 745 00:52:24,763 --> 00:52:29,563 Hey, you were right. You know, about giving people second chances. 746 00:52:29,563 --> 00:52:32,683 About forgiveness. Seriously? 747 00:52:33,883 --> 00:52:36,003 If you ever need anything, 748 00:52:36,003 --> 00:52:40,243 just pick up the phone and I'll come, yeah? I'll be there. 749 00:52:43,603 --> 00:52:45,963 Come here. 750 00:52:45,963 --> 00:52:47,243 Thanks, Ben. 751 00:53:00,443 --> 00:53:01,883 KNOCK ON DOOR 752 00:53:06,083 --> 00:53:08,523 We need to go for a little ride. 753 00:53:12,083 --> 00:53:14,203 You got me anything from the gift shop? 754 00:53:14,203 --> 00:53:17,683 All I've got for you is a deal. I'd prefer a muffin. 755 00:53:17,683 --> 00:53:20,683 I know Rani Rekowski and her friends are running your crew. 756 00:53:20,683 --> 00:53:24,123 And I know you're all in bed with The Dean. 757 00:53:24,123 --> 00:53:27,883 Do you know the numbers for this week's EuroMillions? 758 00:53:27,883 --> 00:53:30,283 Co-operate. 759 00:53:30,283 --> 00:53:32,403 Help me collar The Dean, 760 00:53:32,403 --> 00:53:36,563 and I'll get you out of here. How does that sound? 761 00:53:36,563 --> 00:53:39,403 Like a great episode of Line Of Duty. 762 00:53:39,403 --> 00:53:42,083 HE LAUGHS 763 00:53:43,483 --> 00:53:45,563 Do you think it hasn't been noticed by people in here 764 00:53:45,563 --> 00:53:48,043 how many times I've visited you? 765 00:53:48,043 --> 00:53:49,323 Do you know how easy it would be 766 00:53:49,323 --> 00:53:52,243 for me to spread the word around that you're my favourite informant? 767 00:53:54,163 --> 00:53:56,363 WHISPERS: How long do you think you'd last after that? 768 00:53:59,883 --> 00:54:01,443 Think about my offer. 769 00:54:33,163 --> 00:54:35,483 Evening, all. 770 00:54:35,483 --> 00:54:37,763 I have good news 771 00:54:37,763 --> 00:54:41,323 and I have even better news. 772 00:54:42,803 --> 00:54:46,723 The good news is, I have received payment, in full, on time, 773 00:54:46,723 --> 00:54:50,003 as you promised. I'll be honest, I didn't think you'd make it. 774 00:54:50,003 --> 00:54:54,643 And my boys are livid. They dug ditches out the back for nothing. 775 00:54:54,643 --> 00:54:58,803 Now, on to the even better news. 776 00:54:58,803 --> 00:55:01,443 What's that? This, my dear, 777 00:55:01,443 --> 00:55:05,603 is ten kilos of pure uncut cocaine 778 00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:09,123 that you are going to shift for me. 779 00:55:09,123 --> 00:55:11,563 No. We're done. 780 00:55:11,563 --> 00:55:14,403 No, you're The Beatles of drug selling 781 00:55:14,403 --> 00:55:17,323 and I can't break up the band. Don't make me the Yoko. 782 00:55:17,323 --> 00:55:19,843 And think of this as your White Album. 783 00:55:19,843 --> 00:55:21,043 This isn't fair! 784 00:55:21,043 --> 00:55:22,643 We did what you asked! 785 00:55:22,643 --> 00:55:24,003 Fair? 786 00:55:25,603 --> 00:55:30,083 You're lucky your parents aren't on TV, in tears, 787 00:55:30,083 --> 00:55:35,683 asking for information of your fucking whereabouts. 788 00:55:35,683 --> 00:55:38,763 We're not doing it. This is over. 789 00:55:38,763 --> 00:55:42,163 This is over when I say it's over. 790 00:55:42,163 --> 00:55:43,803 And I'm sorry, 791 00:55:43,803 --> 00:55:46,843 but it ain't fucking over. 792 00:56:04,443 --> 00:56:06,003 He's never going to stop. 793 00:56:06,003 --> 00:56:09,963 Why would he? He's on to a good thing. 794 00:56:09,963 --> 00:56:14,283 I cannot deal drugs for the rest of my days. 795 00:56:14,283 --> 00:56:16,603 Obviously! None of us can. 796 00:56:16,603 --> 00:56:19,803 Right, what are we going to do? 797 00:56:19,803 --> 00:56:22,163 We'll kill him. Sorry, what? 798 00:56:24,083 --> 00:56:28,643 Well, any other ideas before we settle on murder? 799 00:56:28,643 --> 00:56:31,363 Anyone heard of the Brass Bunkum? 800 00:56:34,723 --> 00:56:39,523 MUSIC: Short Change Hero by The Heavy 801 00:56:39,523 --> 00:56:43,963 ♪ I can't see where you comin' from 802 00:56:43,963 --> 00:56:48,243 ♪ But I know just what you runnin' from 803 00:56:48,243 --> 00:56:53,243 ♪ And what matters ain't the "who's baddest" but the 804 00:56:53,243 --> 00:56:57,723 ♪ Ones who stop you fallin' from your ladder, when you're 805 00:56:57,723 --> 00:57:00,403 ♪ This ain't no place for no hero 806 00:57:02,203 --> 00:57:06,403 ♪ This ain't no place for no better man 807 00:57:06,403 --> 00:57:09,963 ♪ This ain't no place for no hero 808 00:57:09,963 --> 00:57:12,123 ♪ To call home 809 00:57:15,683 --> 00:57:18,883 ♪ This ain't no place for no hero 810 00:57:20,123 --> 00:57:24,803 ♪ This ain't no place for no better man 811 00:57:24,803 --> 00:57:27,883 ♪ This ain't no place for no hero 812 00:57:27,883 --> 00:57:30,043 ♪ To call home... ♪