1 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,280 [man] Comms. 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,120 [Haines] This is DS Haines from Bristol and Avon. 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,200 I'm looking for information on an alias known as "The Dean". 4 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,920 [man] I'll call you back. 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,480 [Malaki] What was you thinking? 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,760 She was thinking how she could save our lives. 7 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,480 By promising we'll pay every penny back in eight weeks, 8 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,640 with interest, washed and folded? 9 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,720 That can't be done! 10 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,160 But you-- you're a drug dealer. 11 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,440 You-- you're rich, aren't you? 12 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,640 Shut up! You don't know me. 13 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:33,720 Look around. 14 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,480 My crib is a garage at the end of my mum's garden. 15 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,120 You have things. 16 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,960 Your TV, those trainers-- you could sell your car. 17 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,200 Hello, Mr Dean. 18 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,160 Here's a second hand range, and a flat screen TV. 19 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,280 We good? 20 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,040 And I got a family to provide for. 21 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,840 What I earn goes to my fam. 22 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,040 Six is a lot of mouths to feed. 23 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,680 And are you forgetting, the feds nailed me for making you do my community service. 24 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,960 If they send me to pen, and we ain't paid, 25 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,880 The Dean'll have his people inside do me a ting, straight. 26 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,920 You didn't save our necks, you put 'em in a noose. 27 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,120 Maybe I can ask my parents for help. 28 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,720 They rockin' that kinda money? 29 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,640 No. But, I dunno, maybe they can raise it. 30 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,200 If we get them involved, we make them complicit. 31 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,160 Do you have a better idea then? 32 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,880 Yeah. We go to the feds. 33 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,280 Man, ain't makin' no deal with the feds! 34 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,240 What choice do we have? 35 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,080 We lay it out there. 36 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,840 We tell the feds, and let them protect us. 37 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,400 Man ain't snitching! 38 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,360 It's better than digging your own shallow grave. 39 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,360 He's right. I have the number of a policewoman we can call. 40 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,720 And then we can just finish this. 41 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,800 [tense music playing] 42 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,080 [line ringing] 43 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,240 [phone chimes] 44 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:03,680 [Haines] Haines. 45 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,640 Hi, this is Rani Rekowski. 46 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,320 Rani. How are you? 47 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,400 [Rani] Well... 48 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,560 Well, that's why I'm calling. 49 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,360 Okay. 50 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:17,360 [Rani] I just had something important I needed to tell you. 51 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,880 But I'm not sure I should be telling you on the phone. 52 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,280 [Haines] What's this about? 53 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,320 [phone vibrating] 54 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,880 Rani? Are you still there? 55 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,320 [Rani] Can you give me a second, please? 56 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,000 [Haines] Hello? 57 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,000 Rani, what did you want to tell me? 58 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,320 I wanted to tell you that I'm completing my payback hours, 59 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,320 and I'm staying out of trouble and keeping my head down. 60 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,720 Glad to hear it. 61 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,040 [Rani] Okay. Thanks. Bye. 62 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,920 [telephone rings] 63 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,200 -Rani? -[man] Comms. 64 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,560 You were enquiring about The Dean? 65 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,200 Yes. Yes, I was. 66 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,080 [man] That information's classified, you don't have clearance. 67 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,160 Clearance? 68 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,760 [man] Thank you for your enquiry. 69 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,640 [theme music playing] 70 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,640 [birds chirping] 71 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,760 Say something. 72 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,520 I say we don't pay. 73 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,280 Call his bluff. Boom. 74 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,920 He knows where we live, 75 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,080 and my family, and Ben's sister. 76 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,800 -Boom. -He's already threatened to hurt them. 77 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,520 [Rani] Same if we go to the Police. 78 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,720 Look, we have eight weeks. 79 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,360 You three have to get the money back. 80 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,360 I told you we've spent it! 81 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,000 -On what? -The Bristol Justice Collective. 82 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,680 Still don't understand what it is revolutionaries actually need, 83 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,720 by the way, apart from berets and some twat on a guitar. 84 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,720 A new website, new minibus, new staff, new offices. 85 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,120 Fifteen types of milk, probably. 86 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,640 [Myrna] Oh, right. And what did you spend yours on? 87 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,160 I put mine into my business. As you well know. 88 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,040 The one you just got fired from? Great save. 89 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,720 [Christian] What did you spend your cut on, Frank? 90 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,480 My daughter's mortgage. It was killing her. 91 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,360 I had to help. 92 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,560 So, you haven't helped her in 40 years, 93 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,680 but you couldn't wait eight more weeks to grow a conscience?! 94 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:58,240 You guys, are just gonna save yourselves and let our loved ones die? 95 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,920 Christian Taylor. 96 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,120 [Myrna] What about him? 97 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,000 If he has to do jail time, for making Ben do CS, 98 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,120 he won't be around to run his drug operation. 99 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,640 We are not becoming drug dealers. 100 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,360 Absolutely not! 101 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,640 I've done some grifts in my time, but not that. 102 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,520 Tell me it isn't a good way to make big money fast! 103 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,800 -Rani! -[Rani] It's eight weeks 104 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,440 and then it's over. Why not? 105 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,040 Because drugs have ruined the lives of everyone I've loved! 106 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,200 No one is dealing drugs. 107 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,880 Okay? 108 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,600 Jeez, I'll get another loan, somehow. 109 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:35,040 I'll have to ask Margie for the money back, somehow. 110 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:36,960 I'll see-- I'll see what I can do. 111 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,760 [knocks on door] 112 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,680 [Haines] Sir, you wanted to see us? 113 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,880 How many times have you called comms today? 114 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,400 -I haven't. -You? 115 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,480 About five or six times. 116 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,320 Well, which is it? Five or six? 117 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,880 -Six? -Twelve times! 118 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,480 -You've been red flagged. -Red flagged? 119 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,520 For pestering them about someone called The Dean. 120 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,080 Even though you've been repeatedly told to stand down. 121 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,560 Now, stand down! 122 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,440 With respect, Sir, why am I being stonewalled? 123 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,520 [sighs] 124 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,240 You are treading on Scotland Yard's size tens. 125 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,520 The Dean is London big time, tied to international syndicates. 126 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,680 For two years, 127 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,800 the Met have been tracking him, building a case. 128 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,360 So, why haven't they arrested him then? 129 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,600 [DCI Monroe] He's got good tradecraft. 130 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,480 Never handles product or money directly, impossible to pin him with anything. 131 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,400 We can help. He's running county lines into Bristol. 132 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,880 [scoffs] If that were the case, the Met would know about it. 133 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,280 [Haines] Would they, if The Dean's so careful? 134 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,040 And it's not like they share intel with us, so we wouldn't know. 135 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,240 [sighs] What have you got? 136 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,080 The Dean has a local foot-soldier called Christian Taylor. 137 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,280 Taylor is about to do time for violating probation. 138 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,320 My hunch is, if we can flip him, 139 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,440 he could give us The Dean. 140 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,720 But my hunch is that you're ambitious and think 141 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,320 that if you can nail someone the Met can't, 142 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,640 that's your ticket out of Bristol. 143 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,000 I won't apologise for being ambitious, Sir. 144 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,400 But if we do land The Dean, that's national news. 145 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,280 We all take a bow. 146 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,480 If your snooping blows London's case, 147 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,880 we'll spend the rest of our days shooing seagulls off Bristol docks! 148 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,560 Is that how you see your future? 149 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,480 I stand by my partner, Sir. 150 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,600 Just to confirm, are you telling us to stand down, Sir? 151 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,520 I'm telling you, tread carefully. 152 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:31,400 [dramatic music playing] 153 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,400 I hope you know what you're doing. 154 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,480 I hate seagulls. 155 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,280 They're like rats with wings. 156 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,160 [sighs] 157 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,000 Are you going to talk about it? 158 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,160 -Hmm? -Last night, 159 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,600 you walked out on our dinner party. 160 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,480 Yeah, sorry. I had to, uh, pop back to the office. 161 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,040 At 10:00 o'clock? 162 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,240 Will you-- stop doing that? 163 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:10,920 Look at me. 164 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,640 What is going on with you? 165 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,480 I, erm... 166 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:22,080 I realised, you know I've been working this job 19 years, 167 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,360 19 years! 168 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,880 I mean, Christ, when I first started, 169 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,760 personal assistants were still called secretaries, you know? 170 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,400 You could still ask 'em to make you a cup of tea 171 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,160 and not wind up in a tribunal. 172 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,680 Nineteen years. 173 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:39,320 I mean, that is-- that is a lot of dress down Fridays and signing birthday cards. 174 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,040 And that's why, yesterday, we decided that, er... 175 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,760 I need a change. 176 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,600 -We? -[John] Dad and I, yeah. 177 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,880 We, er-- we talked it through and, erm... 178 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,160 I'm getting a new job. 179 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,600 I'm gonna get a different job. A job that's for me. 180 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,200 -What job? -I don't know yet. 181 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,400 I've got feelers out and I am excited for this new chapter. 182 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,440 -Buzzing! -You didn't think 183 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,880 you ought to discuss this with me? 184 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,960 I am discussing it with you. I'm discussing it with you right now. 185 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,840 But this is going to impact us financially. 186 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,440 -[John] No. -School fees. 187 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,520 -No. -The ski trip! 188 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,240 No! Listen, because I am gonna take 189 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,640 my 19 years of management experience 190 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,840 and I will breeze into another job. 191 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,040 John... 192 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,520 did your father fire you? 193 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,040 What! No! That's ludicrous. 194 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,240 You can tell me if he did. 195 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,480 I would! He didn't. It was mutual. 196 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,640 And listen, I'm doing this... 197 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,520 I'm doing something for me, for us, okay? 198 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,960 I mean, I thought you'd be happy for me. 199 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,440 You know I'm happy if you are. 200 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,880 Well, I'm happy. 201 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,400 So... 202 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,120 we're both happy. 203 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,880 [keys jangling] 204 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,280 [door slams shut] 205 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,480 [door opens] 206 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,760 -[Greg] What are you doing? -[Gabby] I decided to give up booze. 207 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,080 But that's my booze and I haven't. 208 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,760 Greg, while I'm living here I can't have any temptation around me 209 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,320 which is why... 210 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,520 I need you to hide this for me. 211 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,520 What is it, flour? You going gluten-free as well? 212 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,040 -That's cocaine. -Cocaine? 213 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,640 What'd you buy, the family size? 214 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,040 Look, just hide it, okay? 215 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,960 Whatever I say to you, do not give it to me 216 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,320 no matter how much I beg you. 217 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,880 Don't give in, okay? 218 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,840 -Okay. -Did you speak to my agent? 219 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,160 -Yes. -And does she have a job for me? 220 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,120 No. 221 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,480 Well, nothing? No adverts or sponsorship? 222 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,440 Greg, I need some money! You told me that I was going bankrupt! 223 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:44,880 I know, but you're seen as unreliable since 224 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,200 you called that soda machine the c-word. 225 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,640 It was a cunt! 226 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,240 Other products don't wanna be associated with you. 227 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,240 -I'm edgy. -No, you're toxic. 228 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,480 Toxic's cool. 229 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,720 [Greg] It used to be but now celebrities need to seem nice. 230 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,040 You've gotta show empathy and cellulite. 231 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,360 And also, some people are saying... 232 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,120 What? 233 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,240 That you've got anger issues. 234 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,160 Who's saying that? I'll kill the fuckers! 235 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,760 There's also the substance abuse. 236 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,920 Which I am working on. Just gimme my coke back. 237 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:11,800 But you told me not to. 238 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,320 That was before, now I need a bump. 239 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,000 -Give it to me! -No, you said whatever you say to me, 240 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,080 -don't let you have it! -Give me the bag, you speccy twat! 241 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,400 Give it to me! 242 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,280 -[groans] -[Greg grunts] 243 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,360 -This is not the real you speaking! -Yes it is, you rake with a face. 244 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,960 [Greg] No! Not the tickling! 245 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,480 [Gabby] Give it to me! 246 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,000 Don't, and I'll get you a job. 247 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,720 You said no one would employ me. 248 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,040 Gimme 24 hours and I'll find you something. 249 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,120 Yeah? Come on, please, stay strong. 250 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,080 Sorry for calling you a bug-eyed beanpole. 251 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,040 Well, it was speccy twat. And rake with a face. 252 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,600 Either way. I'm sorry. 253 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,760 I need a drink. 254 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,120 Sorry. 255 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,960 [indistinct chatter] 256 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,640 Can I have a word? 257 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,320 Remember when you asked me where the cash for all of this came from? 258 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,640 I thought it was our mystery donor? 259 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,040 Yeah, well if I tell you who it is, 260 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,400 then, uh, you can't tell anyone. 261 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,000 It's Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe. 262 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,240 That posh woman who's always falling out of nightclubs? 263 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,560 All right! Keep your voice down. 264 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,800 Why is she interested in the BJC? 265 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,360 I thought her kind were only interested in bottle service and lip filler. 266 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,080 Well she deeply respects me and my organisation 267 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,800 and she wanted to make a sizeable donation to support it. 268 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,360 -I misjudged her. -Yes, you did. 269 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,640 But now she needs all the money back. 270 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,720 What? 271 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,680 You know what the landed gentry are like: fickle. 272 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,040 We've spent the money. 273 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,320 We'll have to unspend it. 274 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,240 We've got a year's lease on this place. 275 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,800 -Full-time staff on payroll. -Really. 276 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,520 You're saying it like it's my fault. We all voted for those things. 277 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,040 Because you promised you could keep us financially independent. 278 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,600 That's why we turned down a council grant. 279 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:02,680 Yeah, and you're gonna need to go 280 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,520 to the council and say that we want the grant after all. 281 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,480 That ship's sailed, Myrna. 282 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:10,080 Well, we can still get the money back, can't we? 283 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,400 We can, er... 284 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,480 we could sell the minibus and 285 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,320 those ergonomic chairs. 286 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:16,520 Can you stop bouncing, please. 287 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:20,280 And I always said, we don't need the Reiki guy full-time. 288 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,640 Myrna, those are just the things you can see. 289 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,560 We would have to liquidate the organisation to get the money back. 290 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,920 The BJC will cease to exist. 291 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,640 [dramatic music playing] 292 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,360 [door opens] 293 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,840 [Margaret] Dad, we're in here! 294 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,920 [Frank] Margie, we need to discuss something. 295 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,640 You paid off the mortgage. 296 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,760 -Ta-da! -As of this morning, 297 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,440 -and there was money left. -There was? 298 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,160 So I set up a college fund for the kids. 299 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,440 Do the kids even wanna go to college? 300 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:58,480 I do! 301 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,880 [Margaret] It's Johnny Walker Red. That's your tipple, isn't it? 302 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,400 Mum's made your favourite too, meatloaf. 303 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,240 Well, it's sort of shepherd's pie 304 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,000 that I sort of squeezed into a loaf. 305 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,040 It's the thought that counts. 306 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,920 Well it's the deed that counts too. 307 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,080 Thank you so much, Dad. 308 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,160 It's the least I can do. 309 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,720 What was it you wanted to discuss? 310 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,240 Nothing urgent. 311 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,320 [hold music playing on phone] 312 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,240 -[man] Mr Halloran? -[John] Yeah! Hello! 313 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,600 -Yes, I'm here. -[man] Hello. 314 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,480 -Hello! -[man] Er, can I confirm. 315 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,560 You said you're not currently employed, is that right? 316 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:49,160 I-- well, I am currently, um, in between jobs, yeah. 317 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,720 But, as I said, I have 19 years 318 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,760 of management experience, and I'm confident 319 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,320 that I will find fresh employment very soon. 320 00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,000 [man] Yes, I've checked with my supervisor, 321 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,760 but we can't grant you a loan. 322 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,280 I'm sorry. 323 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,560 Why not? 324 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,200 [man] You have no employment, you're heavily mortgaged 325 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,680 on your assets so we just can't proceed. 326 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:13,880 I'm sorry. 327 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,800 Do you remember when banks like yours went tits-up in 2008, 328 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,680 and it was taxpayers, like me, that bailed you out? 329 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,160 [man] No, Sir, I was only six years old. 330 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,520 Well, it's absurd, you know. 331 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,040 It's absurd that I am standing here today and a businessman 332 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,120 like me can't get a loan from your bank. 333 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,280 But if this were 2007, 334 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,920 and I was an unemployed single mother 335 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,920 with three kids and a crack addiction, 336 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,760 I'd have walked out of your place with a mortgage and a fucking balloon! 337 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,160 [man] Is there anything else I can help you with today, Sir? 338 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,520 [tense music playing] 339 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:00,880 [Myrna] Like she said, 340 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,280 we're only in it for eight weeks and then we're done. 341 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,680 Men like this guy from London, exploit local kids, I know that... 342 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:15,520 but I'll get to know those kids and when this is over, 343 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,160 I can help them. 344 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,880 If I don't do this, people will get hurt. 345 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:29,600 If I dissolve the BJC, the community will get hurt. 346 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:33,520 Forty years' work, wiped out like that. 347 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,240 And I would've killed a man... 348 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,680 for your whole life, 349 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,040 my life... 350 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:46,760 for nothing. 351 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,120 If... 352 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,440 ...we did do what you suggested, 353 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,080 how would it work? 354 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,960 -What? -The plan you suggested. 355 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,160 I dunno. We'd meet with Taylor, 356 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,720 find out how he operates. 357 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,720 Eight weeks, right? 358 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,160 We just do what is necessary and then we're out. 359 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,240 And absolutely no violence. 360 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,080 Course. Thank you. 361 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,080 We're not doin' it. 362 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,760 Do you all know what drugs have done to my mum? 363 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,640 -I understand how you feel. -No, you don't! 364 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,520 You don't, or you wouldn't have suggested it in the first place. 365 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:37,520 -I wish I didn't have to. But... -You have no idea! 366 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,240 My whole life-- you have no idea what I've had to do to stop 367 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,640 -from going down the same path! -What option do we have? 368 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,800 We make as much money as we can in eight weeks then we walk away. 369 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,080 A brief, terrible episode in all of our lives. 370 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:53,280 I'd never do anything to hurt you, but The Dean will. 371 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:55,680 I'm scared. 372 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,520 I'm really scared. 373 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,920 And I don't wanna die. 374 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,000 All right. 375 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,560 So we raise the funds. 376 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:12,800 How do we launder it? 377 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,280 [toilet flushes] 378 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,400 Guess who's back? 379 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,800 Oh, it's not fucking Beryl, is it? 380 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:22,920 Aye. 381 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,440 I hate that old bitch. 382 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,400 [John] Greg, listen mate, we need you. 383 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,800 I'm not doing any more money laundering! 384 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,640 I got really stressed last time and my eczema broke out. 385 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,080 I was scratching my groin so much I got thrown out of Nandos. 386 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,560 [Frank] High pockets, 387 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,760 we're all friends here, that's why nobody wants to remind you 388 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,960 about a certain cupboard of chaos which, if exposed, 389 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,160 would leave you up shit creek 390 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,080 with your dick in your hand. 391 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,280 Well, actually, my dick's already up shit creek in someone else's hand. 392 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,680 -What does that mean? -It means a bloke I work with 393 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,320 called Spencer Fitzwilliam already found my cupboard of chaos 394 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,640 and has been blackmailing me with it and making my life hell. 395 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,520 So, join the queue. Westside! 396 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,320 [Myrna] Westside? 397 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,400 Leave it to me. 398 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,160 I can change his mind. 399 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,680 You, take over? 400 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:10,800 She serious? 401 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,080 We need to make money, fast. 402 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,440 You have a way of doing that, 403 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,640 but who's gonna run things for you when you're in prison. 404 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,280 -Not you! -Er, then who? 405 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,160 Because Souljah's betrayed you, 406 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,880 Spider's out of action, 407 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,520 now your whole crew's just some little boys on BMX's. 408 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,560 Woah, woah, wait. We don't even know I'm set for a stretch. 409 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,760 You said this lawyer of yours is good, right? 410 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,640 I didn't say he was good, I said he was free. 411 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,320 Nah, I ain't handing you my line. 412 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,640 Why not? 413 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,400 Because I don't trust you. 414 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,080 We're the only ones you can trust. 415 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,160 Have you ever heard the phrase, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend"? 416 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,320 Was it the same guy who said, "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck"? 417 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,960 I spent my whole life trying to stay out of the game. 418 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,040 You think I wanna be a part of anything you do? 419 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,880 We're all in this together whether we like it or... 420 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,320 Nah, G! You do you, and I'll take care of myself. 421 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,160 [Rani] Oh! [laughs] Really? 422 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,080 Because last night you're about this close to being dead 423 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,320 before I stepped up and if you don't start trusting me, 424 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,200 none of us are getting out of this shit alive! 425 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,400 What do you even know about running a line? 426 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,320 Nothing, but I'm a quick learner. 427 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,880 Swear down, if you fuck me on this, 428 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,160 and I will Shawshank my way out of the pen so fast. 429 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,400 A'ight. 430 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:28,560 What do you wanna know? 431 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,560 Everything. 432 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,320 Alright, listen, because I don't like repeating myself. 433 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,560 You know what this is? 434 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,080 Er, it is a mobile phone. 435 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,440 Wrong! It's the phone, the line. 436 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,800 Contains numbers for all my customers, 437 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,520 so, every day I ping out a message: 438 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:53,040 "Open for business all the time. 439 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,400 For what you need call the line." 440 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,240 -Now, what? -We wait. 441 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,040 -You making notes? -Yeah, it's just a lot to... 442 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,920 [thuds] 443 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,080 You keep everything up here. 444 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,920 Sorry. 445 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,080 [phone rings] 446 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,640 Yo, whatcha need? 447 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,800 Where you at? 448 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,520 What are you wearing? 449 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,160 A'ight, soon come. 450 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,160 -So you take the order, and then what? -[Malaki] Then, important... 451 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,280 you use a different phone to call whatever runner you think is closest. 452 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,800 Yo, Biggs. One bag of beans, Elswick Road. 453 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,320 The guy's wearing a navy blue tracksuit. 454 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,400 You got that? 455 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,400 A'ight. 456 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,360 And Bingo was his name, yo. 457 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,320 Could we meet some of the runners? 458 00:21:58,760 --> 00:21:59,960 [dogs barking] 459 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,040 [seagulls cawing] 460 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,560 What's he doin' here? 461 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,320 This is our business advisor. 462 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,320 [car beeps] 463 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,880 [dramatic music playing] 464 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,080 [Malaki] There's some of my runners. 465 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,160 [indistinct chatter] 466 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,280 Jesus, they look barely out of nappies! 467 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,720 I recognise that blonde girl. 468 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,520 She goes to school with my sister! 469 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,120 This is so wrong man. 470 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,080 [Malaki] Don't judge. They're only doing it 471 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,520 to feed their families, same as me. 472 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:00,600 What are you doing? 473 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,920 Never exit the vehicle! Basics. 474 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,600 Basics. 475 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,960 Okay. So, erm, how much does a runner get paid. 476 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,120 About 80 quid. 477 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,480 Standard? For everybody? 478 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,280 Depends how much they sell. 479 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,880 Or, if they owe money, it's set against that. 480 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,760 [phone beeping] 481 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,760 [Malaki] Yo, man pulled up. Send 'em away and come here, innit. 482 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,400 -What are we doing? -We're doing what we have to do. 483 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,000 What is happening? 484 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,480 Oi, you lot. Piss off. 485 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,720 [Malaki] The boy who just left took the food. 486 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,200 So if the feds are watching, they can't link shit directly to me. 487 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,880 -What you sayin', big man? -Wagwan, you a'ight, yeah? 488 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,240 Cash total. 489 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,520 OK. 490 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,320 Anyone complaining about the quality of the food? 491 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,720 Nah, cuz. 492 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,560 OK, I think I can get the business side of things down, 493 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,120 but that dialect, it's gonna take a bit of work. 494 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,200 -Anyone watching you? -Nah, man. 495 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,400 -Anyone else selling? -[runner] Nah. 496 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:08,960 -No trouble? -Uh-uh. 497 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,360 -Nah? -Nah, man! 498 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,000 Four? There should be five. 499 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,800 Bruv, we sold four hundred. 500 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:19,840 Yo, big man. 501 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,880 You know what happens if you start lying to me, right? 502 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,760 Yeah, I do bro and I ain't lyin'. 503 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,200 Yeah? 504 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,240 In a bit. 505 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,280 What was that about? 506 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,640 [Malaki] Nuttin'. 507 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,560 You gotta make 'em sweat every now and then, innit? 508 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,640 And what if he had been lying? 509 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,800 [laughs] Trust me. 510 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,400 He knows better than that. 511 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,640 [car revving] 512 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,040 You've never seen Jaws? 513 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,520 Nope. I've never seen Jaws. 514 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,240 I have seen Jaws 2, 3 and 4 though! 515 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,680 -Oh! -Chap! Tides out! 516 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,560 -We take it in turns. -[telephone ringing] 517 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,880 [John] So how do you manage, er, staffing levels? 518 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,280 [Malaki] I only take on people when demand is steady, 519 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:33,360 otherwise you're just paying for employees 520 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,560 when you don't need them. 521 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,080 Oh, yeah? Good. 522 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,280 Yeah, I wish I'd done that. 523 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,400 Got quite the business brain. 524 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,320 -You pick it all up on the street? -Yeah. 525 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,240 Oxford was full, innit. 526 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,360 So what have your net profits been over the last three years? 527 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,760 I've been even at 200k. 528 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,120 [John] OK. 529 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,440 But business isn't growing though, is it? 530 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,200 You know they say that a business that isn't progressing is regressing. 531 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,520 That's the big mistake I made. 532 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,360 Yeah, I know that. 533 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,800 I need to mix it up man. 534 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,520 Can't you move into other markets? 535 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,840 I can't just pick and drop my runners off 536 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,160 in another part of Bristol. 537 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,080 That's where the problems start. 538 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,040 [John] Well, you're definitely a natural. 539 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,280 You ever think about legitimate work? 540 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,440 I think you'd, uh... go places. 541 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,200 [scoffs] 542 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:21,840 [kisses teeth] 543 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,160 Is it safe? 544 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:41,680 What? 545 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,160 Is it safe? 546 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:47,680 Is what safe? 547 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,760 Special Agent Robert Stack, 548 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,360 Federal Bureau of Investigation. 549 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,680 Oh, V funny chap but, er, 550 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,800 you're a bit old to be a strip-o-gram. [laughs] 551 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,320 How much are the lads paying you? 552 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,920 Your name is Spencer Fitzwilliam. 553 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,160 You're a lawyer at Northcott Marling, correct? 554 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,520 What's this about? 555 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,000 On three, leave your wrap on the bench, 556 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,640 stand, and follow me. 557 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,520 One, two, three. 558 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,080 [Spencer] Can I see your badge again, mate? 559 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,840 We need to talk about the biggest coordinated response 560 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,800 to international money laundering in FBI history. 561 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,160 [laughs] Money laundering? 562 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:29,600 Keep your goddamn voice down. 563 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,280 -Come on, chap! Is this a joke? -Joke? 564 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,640 See that guy. 565 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,240 That's my colleague. Agent Jack Webb. 566 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:39,440 He spent two years travelling across four continents 567 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,680 tracing corrupt bankers and bogus accounts 568 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,880 with ties to organised crime. 569 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,600 Agent Webb missed his own mother's funeral. 570 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,760 Ask Agent Webb if this is a joke. 571 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,360 What's this got to do with me? 572 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,760 Your firm has been compromised. 573 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,080 Are you clean? 574 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:55,520 -Am I what? -Are you clean? 575 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:56,840 Yeah, yeah, I'm clean. 576 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,920 Then, why are you impeding our investigation? 577 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,520 I-- I'm not. 578 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,800 We have the cooperation of an informant in your office. 579 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,760 He has been collating paperwork as part of our evidence. 580 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,720 I believe that paperwork is now in your possession. 581 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,000 Greg! Greg's a mole for the FBI? 582 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,880 Keep your goddamn voice down. 583 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,440 Never say that out loud again. 584 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:19,880 Who put you up to this? 585 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,560 Was it Grunter or Nadger? I bet it was Nadger, wasn't it? 586 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:23,800 Sometime soon, 587 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,080 law enforcement will be walking into your place of work 588 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,640 and marching people out in handcuffs. 589 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,320 Ask me again if I'm joking. 590 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,720 -Where's the paperwork? -Yes, the... 591 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,400 Do you speak English? 592 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:40,920 -Yes, yes. -Where's the paperwork? 593 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,120 It's in my car. 594 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:43,800 -Easy. Let's go. -OK. 595 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,240 -Rita. Knock, knock. -Greg. 596 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,400 I wonder if I can have a quick chat with you 597 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,640 about a hypothetical HR scenario? 598 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,360 Erm, I'm actually on my lunch hour at the moment, Greg. 599 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:56,760 I can come back. 600 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,320 No, it's fine. 601 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,600 -HR is always open. -[laughs] OK, thank you. Thank you. 602 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,760 -[Rita] Come on in. -Erm... 603 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,640 Do you mind just sitting down there, please Greg, 604 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,080 'cause it's a bit... loomin' over me, like a ghost. 605 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,400 Yeah, sorry. 606 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,200 Yeah, just wondering if hypothetically a gentleman, 607 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,440 you know, who works in the office has had conversations 608 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,000 with a woman who also works in the office. 609 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,520 OK. Work conversations? 610 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,760 Sometimes work, you know, but other just general chit chat. 611 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,320 -About what? -The weather, erm, 612 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,440 rambling in the Peak District, 613 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,720 Roger Federer's thighs, erm... 614 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,320 Where have these conversations taken place, please? 615 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,560 Different places. Erm, lift, kitchen, 616 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:36,880 sometimes at the woman's desk. 617 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,320 OK. 618 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,280 Has the gentleman in question 619 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,320 perched on the lady's desk at any point? 620 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,840 -Er, there might've been a perch. -[Rita] Mm-hmm. 621 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,840 Just hop up there for me a moment, would you, please. 622 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,920 Right. So you can see what's happening here? 623 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,440 -Hmm? -What's happening? 624 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,760 What's the lady's having to look at 625 00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,520 when the gentleman sits like that on her desk. 626 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:04,040 The gentleman's groin is at the lady's eye level. 627 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,800 OK. 628 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,920 Pop yourself back down, please, Greg. 629 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,520 This is ringing a lot of alarm bells. 630 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,760 Erm, is the gentleman superior to the lady? 631 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:15,080 No, he's got very low self-esteem. 632 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,360 No, I mean in job title or rank. 633 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,600 Oh, well, he's marginally superior, I think. 634 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,040 Right. Yeah. 635 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,480 That will put him in the red zone. 636 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:25,960 And what is the red zone? 637 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,000 The red zone is where HR would have to consider the man's position. 638 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,520 -Oh, wow. Blimey. -Hmm. 639 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,640 Just to be totally clear, hypothetically, the man couldn't make 640 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,280 any kind of overture to the woman? 641 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,040 What, in the hope of a sexual relationship? 642 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,240 -Yes, please. -No, absolutely not, no. 643 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,560 So, he couldn't, say, erm, ask her out for a drink or anything? 644 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,280 -No. No, definitely not. -No. 645 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,320 If this guy works here, which it sounds like he does, 646 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,080 whoever he may be, 647 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,920 then he will have read our company policy 648 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,360 on sexual and romantic relationships. 649 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,480 What if he started reading it and he found it heavy going 650 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,200 so instead he watched some golfing bloopers on YouTube? 651 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,320 Well, then, he won't know that even consensual relationships 652 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,960 between colleagues can lead to disciplinary action or dismissal. 653 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,280 Dismissal? 654 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,040 Hi, Greg. I'm grabbing a sandwich. Do you want one? 655 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,240 No! 656 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,360 [grunts] 657 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,240 -This is all of it? -Yeah. 658 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,880 [Frank] I assume, 659 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:24,360 I don't need to tell you that everything I've said is confidential. 660 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,720 You don't even discuss it with Greg Dillard. 661 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,840 You've got them now, so you can tell me is this real or what? 662 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,680 Stay in Greg Dillard's good books though, 663 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,560 'cause when the shit hits the fan 664 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,000 and he starts pointing fingers, 665 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,400 you don't want him pointing at you. 666 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,160 Now, you need to call me a cab. 667 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,120 Yes. Yeah, of course. 668 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,720 Do you want, erm, an Uber XL or Lux? 669 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:55,440 Yeah, we'll go Lux. Bit nicer for you. 670 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:57,440 Seven minutes. 671 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,400 [Malaki] I ain't pleading guilty, bro. 672 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:01,880 Then you'll do twice the prison time. 673 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,080 Listen, I got too much stuff going on right now 674 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,680 to be sitting in a prison cell. 675 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,440 You violated your probation, you're going down. 676 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,880 There's nothing I can do about that. 677 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,640 What I can do is reduce the amount of time you do. 678 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:11,760 Tea? 679 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,560 Can I make you one in a minute? I'm just in the middle of something. 680 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,200 [Spencer] Sorry, I'm asking. 681 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:16,680 Would you like a cup of tea? 682 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,920 -Yes, please. -Pleasure, chap. 683 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:19,960 Would you like one? 684 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:21,960 You got any ginseng? 685 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,880 All right, so how long am I looking at if I plead not guilty? 686 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:31,160 A year, maybe two. 687 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,400 But plead guilty, I can get that down to a few months. 688 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,600 A few months? [laughs] 689 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,680 What kinda waste-man lawyer are you? 690 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,160 Bad news, no ginseng. 691 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,840 But I do have mint, 692 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,880 green, lapsang souchong, oolong, 693 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,920 or lemon ginger and manuka honey? 694 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,320 Surprise me. 695 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,680 Biscuit? Biscuit? 696 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:53,880 I'll have a biscuit. 697 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,560 -No, I'm good, bro. -One biscuit for Gregolas, my liege. 698 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,640 [upbeat music playing] 699 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,480 So what you gonna do? 700 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,360 High-pockets. 701 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,720 You were up shit creek, but I found you a paddle. 702 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,200 You got it back! 703 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,760 Thank you. Thank you so much. 704 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,040 -It comes with a few strings attached. -[Greg] I knew it would! 705 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,440 I knew it would when you presented it like a quiz show. 706 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,280 I'm not doing any more money laundering, I told you that already. 707 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,600 I can't handle another criminal conviction or another flakey crotch. 708 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,800 So do your worst. I'd rather take my chances. 709 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,480 Fine! Here, take it. 710 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,400 But! 711 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,680 Say goodbye to Rani and Ben. 712 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,600 Why, you leaving early? Half day? 713 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,440 -No, they're dead! -You just killed them. 714 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,840 -What are you talking about? -[Frank] This gangster up in London. 715 00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,880 We need to repay back all his dough and wash it, 716 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:03,440 or he's gonna clip them and everybody they care about. 717 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,720 Clip them? Who's this gangster? Edward G Robinson? 718 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,560 We're behind the eight-ball here. 719 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,080 -We need your help. -Is he serious? 720 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,840 -Yeah. -I thought the money was spent? 721 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,280 -We're gonna earn it back. -How? 722 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,480 Running Christian Taylor's operation while he's inside. 723 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,880 -Jesus Christ! -None of us wanna be doing this. 724 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,360 -No. -We're in trouble, mate. 725 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,960 Big trouble. 726 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,920 [tense music playing] 727 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,400 [John] Good? 728 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,080 OK. 729 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,200 All right, so his customer base is loyal, 730 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:45,640 but it's small. 731 00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,960 If we're gonna make anywhere near the money we need to make, 732 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,360 in the time we have, we need to find new markets, 733 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:52,960 new customers, and we need to do it quick. 734 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,160 -How do we do that? -Marketing. 735 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,400 -Marketing? -[John] Yeah. 736 00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,800 We have to find people who would buy drugs, 737 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,960 and we need to let them know that we are here and we are open for business. 738 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,560 What, so we just put an advert in the yellow pages, yeah? 739 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:05,880 Class A drugs available. 740 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,160 Oh, no, I tell you what, let's put Class AAA 741 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:10,440 and we'll go straight to the front. 742 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,640 [Rani] Obviously, we can't run adverts. 743 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,200 How do companies normally reach customers? 744 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:15,920 Direct marketing. 745 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:20,680 But that involves mailing lists, names, numbers, email addresses. 746 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,800 -BJC must have a mailing list. -[Myrna] No. 747 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,560 No way are we targeting my people. 748 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,640 Well, you know you leftie hypocrites, 749 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,360 you're actually the perfect kind of customer. 750 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,160 You won't touch palm oil because of deforestation, 751 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,840 but you'll happily snort cocaine 752 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,920 that's been smuggled up some peasant's mimsy. 753 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:40,080 Firstly, there's no way I'm exploiting 40 years of trust in the BJC 754 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,920 and secondly, mimsy? 755 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,560 So what other choice do we have? 756 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,480 No one wants to be doing this. 757 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,080 What about Gabby? 758 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,360 Surely everyone in her phone is a potential customer. 759 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:51,800 [Rani] What about her music festival? 760 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,600 Isn't there a mailing list for that? 761 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,080 I'm not bringing Gabby into this. 762 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,480 You don't have to bring her into it, 763 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,200 you just have to get the details off her phone. 764 00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,920 And you live with her, so I'm sure that should be easy enough. 765 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,640 Well, what about you? You work in a nightclub! 766 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,400 I bet their mailing list is full of drug-heads. 767 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,640 No, no, my manager is proper paranoid. 768 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,160 He keeps his office door locked, computer password protected, 769 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,760 -Nah, there's no way of gettin' in there. -Find a way. 770 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,160 You get Gabby's mailing list, you get the BJC's. 771 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,360 How? It's on Claire's computer. 772 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,200 Figure it out. 773 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,080 -Who put you in charge? -Yeah, what are you gonna contribute? 774 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:26,440 [Rani] Hmm. 775 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:29,960 [John] Students. 776 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,160 Students, they love to party, don't they? 777 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,640 We have a major university right here in the city. 778 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,480 That is twenty thousand potential buyers right there. 779 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,800 -But none of us are students. -No, but you look like you are. 780 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,640 [dramatic music playing] 781 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,520 [upbeat music playing] 782 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,880 [indistinct chatter] 783 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,600 Who do I speak to about volunteering? 784 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,880 [Laurence] And you take every sausage 785 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,320 the average person would eat in their lifetime, put it together, 786 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,040 it would actually reach to the moon. 787 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,560 You need to watch a documentary called Food, Inc., 788 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,000 you will never eat meat again. 789 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,680 I won't go near the stuff. It's the smoking of today. 790 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:49,160 Excuse me, erm, are you organising the frat party? 791 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,680 That was my idea. Erm, you missed the early bird wristbands. 792 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,680 OK? Tickets are now 35 a pop. 793 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,400 You get two free Jaegers and entry to the wet t-shirt competition 794 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,320 where, the, the contestants... all men! 795 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,880 Er, I was hoping I could volunteer? 796 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,120 Yeah? You can... man a hose? 797 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,920 No, no, with the, er, organisation of the party. 798 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,440 -Most freshers just wanna get wasted. -[Rani] Not me. [chuckles] 799 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:17,200 I enjoy planning more than... partying. 800 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:27,800 [knocks on door] 801 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:30,680 This is Greg, 802 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,920 he works for Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe. 803 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,560 She comes in here a lot. 804 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:36,920 Well, M'Lady's got great taste. 805 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,000 Not if she comes in here, she doesn't. 806 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:40,760 But she does have a great arse. 807 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,280 I'll be sure to pass that on. 808 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,600 I don't know if you're aware that, aside from her arse, 809 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,800 she's also got 1.2 million followers on social media. 810 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,840 I don't use the internet much, 811 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,640 except for sports results and wanking. 812 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,360 Well, it's good to have hobbies. 813 00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,960 Can I suggest that perhaps you give Her Ladyship a quick Google? 814 00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:00,280 I think you'll be quite interested in what you find. 815 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:12,840 Is Lady Gabby single? Because my wife's just left me, again 816 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:17,080 I'm on the hunt and she is right up my street, classy. 817 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,920 Well, Lady Gabby's actually a member of the LGBT community. 818 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,600 What, she's a lezza? 819 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:22,640 What a waste. 820 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,920 Yup, or you'd have been in with a shot. 821 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,680 -[chuckles] -[club owner] Not very ladylike, is she? 822 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,600 Her Ladyship, smashing up cars, keying cars. 823 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:30,800 What's she got against cars? 824 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,520 Well, she's what we call "edgy". 825 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,160 Well, 'round here we'd call her a bitch. 826 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:35,840 I'll be sure to pass that on. 827 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,320 What's your proposition? 828 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,320 Well, what if Lady Gabby was to tell her 1.2 million followers, 829 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,640 that she's gonna make a live personal appearance 830 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:43,760 in your club this evening? 831 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:45,880 To do what? 832 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:47,760 Wave and stuff? 833 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:51,880 How much? 834 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,960 [upbeat music playing] 835 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,520 [car engine revving] 836 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,840 [seagulls cawing] 837 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,520 [Malaki] Look after my Range like it's your own nutsack. 838 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:26,560 I see so much as a crisp wrapper in the cup holder, it's peak for you. 839 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,560 Guard that line with your life, 840 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,560 because it's worth way more. 841 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,040 You feel me? 842 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:36,640 Yeah, I feel you. 843 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,680 [dramatic music playing] 844 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:57,280 [Laurence] People say she destroyed the welfare state. 845 00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,800 Public spending went up every year under Thatcher. 846 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,200 In '82 to '83, the government was spending 48% of the GDP. 847 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,640 That's more than in any year under Tony Blair or Gordon Brown. 848 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:11,320 Thanks, Tom. 849 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,200 Poor bloke, what's he, like 60? 850 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,440 If I wind up doing that when I'm his age, shoot me, yeah? 851 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,520 [chuckles] 852 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,520 -What's wrong with what he's doing? -No, nothing. 853 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,680 I just think that one can aspire to just a little bit 854 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,400 more than collecting other people's crap all your life. 855 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,160 -[laughs] -Why? 856 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,160 If all you did, every day, was mop latrines, 857 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:36,320 empty bins for minimum wage, why wouldn't you shoot yourself? 858 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:37,400 And what are you studying? 859 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,280 I'm doing a PhD in applied microeconomics. 860 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,160 And what you gonna do when you finish? 861 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,280 [Laurence] Write? Teach? 862 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,680 I'd like to be an academic, like my father. 863 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,440 Right, so you're gonna spend five years 864 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,960 studying microeconomics and write some 865 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:55,200 obscure academic textbook 866 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,320 that half a dozen people will read, 867 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,480 and then spend your life teaching microeconomics 868 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,880 so that other people can do the same thing, is that right? 869 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,320 Your saying academia is not a worthy pursuit? 870 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,400 I'm saying that academia is masturbation in a corduroy jacket. 871 00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,080 [laughter] 872 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:12,640 What are you gonna do with your life then? 873 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:14,760 I dunno. 874 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:16,920 -That's not an answer. -[Rani] It's honest. 875 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,520 I don't know. 876 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:22,360 I just know I wanna live, like, really live. 877 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,800 Well, I get that. 878 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,200 I just got back from inter-railing. 879 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,080 Never felt more alive. 880 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,160 Laurence Chartney, by the way, Union President. 881 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,160 Rani Rekowski. 882 00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,840 Is there anything else I can help with? I'm actually really good at computers. 883 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,160 Oh, actually, yes! 884 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,480 [man] One, two. 885 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:49,960 Check one, two. 886 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,840 Oh! Let me take that for you, your Ladyship. 887 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:57,280 Feel free to leave anything you like in here, it's very secure. 888 00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:01,000 You could even get changed in here if you like, that camera don't work. 889 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,920 When you chatted about us on your Twitter and whatnot, 890 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,320 we sold over 80% of our tickets. 891 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,040 In one hour, this place will be chock-o-block 892 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,000 with over 2,000 people, all here to see you. 893 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,080 Two-thousand? 894 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,760 Yeah, all getting pissed up hopefully. 895 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:18,640 And what do I have to do? 896 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,920 Just walk on the stage, wave and give away some T-shirts. 897 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,040 On that stage? 898 00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:25,120 Yeah. 899 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,280 Let's talk financials. 900 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:31,200 -[suspenseful music playing] -[indistinct chatter] 901 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,920 [keyboard clacking] 902 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,120 You weren't lying, nice work. 903 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,520 Next, could you consolidate this into one super-column for me? 904 00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:10,600 Uh-huh. 905 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:15,280 You know, if there's something you need to, you know, get on with... 906 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,160 Hey, thanks, for really giving it to me earlier. 907 00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:19,480 No-holds-barred. 908 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,280 You know, there's a lot of smart people in this place, 909 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,400 but most of them struggle to keep up with me, but not you. 910 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,840 -Mmm. -[Laurence] So... namaste. 911 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,360 [whisper] Namaste. 912 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:29,760 Can I ask you a personal question? 913 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,120 Shut me down immediately if this is out of order, 914 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,520 but I would love to converse further. 915 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,360 Can I get your deets? 916 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,600 -My deets? -It's short for details. 917 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,040 Not by much. 918 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:42,240 What do you say? 919 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,440 -Yeah, okay, sure. -[Laurence] Great. 920 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,000 So what are you studying here, by the way? 921 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,880 Um, mathematics and physics. 922 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,760 Yeah? I did maths as my undergrad. 923 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,160 Really? Did you? That's great. 924 00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,600 -That's... -How are you finding it so far? 925 00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,680 Professor Sturridge is a bit of a hard arse, right? 926 00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,520 Is he? I hadn't noticed. 927 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,320 -Uh... -She is? 928 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:09,480 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, she seems kinda blokeish to me. 929 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,240 [laughs] 930 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,880 Uh, we're gonna head to the bar for some drinks, 931 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,240 and I think you should join. 932 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,680 Yeah, I just really, you know, wanna break the back of this, uh, 933 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,080 but then I'll be straight down. 934 00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,160 -That's a great work ethic. -Mmm. 935 00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:29,840 Whatever it is you choose to do in life, I can tell you're gonna crush it. 936 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:34,440 I'll see you down there. 937 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:38,560 [dramatic music playing] 938 00:45:43,720 --> 00:45:45,560 Mailing list. Come on. 939 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,080 [indistinct chatter] 940 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,840 Well, there isn't that much... 941 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:58,200 What is it? 942 00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,360 John, I'm at the you-know-where, 943 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,120 tryna get the you-know-what off of Claire's computer. 944 00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:04,280 Lovely. Why are you calling me? 945 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,880 [Myrna] Because I don't use computers. 946 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:10,000 I just literally spent the last 45 minutes trying to turn the damn thing on. 947 00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:11,640 Where's the mailing list? 948 00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:13,200 How can I possibly know that? 949 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,200 Well, you use computers, don't you? 950 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,240 Yeah, I have. Not that exact one! 951 00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,360 -[John] What's on the screen? -[Myrna] A waterfall. 952 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:22,920 [John] Okay, are there folders with the waterfall? 953 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,360 -The folders? -[John] Ya! 954 00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,600 The little icons that look like folders! 955 00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,040 No, there are no folders! 956 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,160 I just told you it's just a waterfall. 957 00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:33,480 -Are you looking at a screensaver? -[Myrna] A what? 958 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,840 [indistinct chatter] 959 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,480 [man] Ladies and gentlemen, 960 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,440 Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe! 961 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,360 [cheers] 962 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,320 She's on, what's she waiting for?! 963 00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,360 She's just getting in the zone. Give her a second. 964 00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:48,480 [John] Do you know what a mouse is? 965 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,600 [Myrna] Yeah. Yes. Yes, I know what a mouse is. 966 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:51,680 Jiggle it! 967 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,680 Ooh! Right! Yes! 968 00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:57,240 Now that has done something! 969 00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,920 So now, the screen is purple and grey 970 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,160 and there are lots of little folders... 971 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:04,920 Now what? 972 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:13,480 Look for one that says "mailing list" or something like that. 973 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,120 My pork chop is getting cold, by the ways. 974 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:16,800 [humming] 975 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,800 Mail out! Right, there's one called "mail out". 976 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,280 -Could that be it? -Could be. 977 00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,960 -Now what? -Now drag and drop it onto your USB. 978 00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:28,000 [cheers and shouts] 979 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:29,080 You ready? 980 00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,920 I can't do it. 981 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,360 Yeah you can! He's paying you fifteen hundred quid! 982 00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,720 Per club. And he's got five clubs. 983 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,360 That's seven-and-a-half grand. 984 00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:38,920 Almost pays off your bar tab. 985 00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,360 -What does drag and drop mean? -[John] Christ! 986 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,920 My mother-in-law can drag and drop. She's 92 and blind. 987 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,720 Just put the arrow over the folder. 988 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:49,280 Put the arrow-- put the arrow... 989 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:50,400 how do I do that? 990 00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:51,480 With the mouse! 991 00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,680 Put the arrow over the folder with the mouse! 992 00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:56,960 Do not fucking shout at me! 993 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,640 Hi Imran, hi. 994 00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:04,000 This may be nothing, 995 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,080 but this new fresher has just volunteered 996 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:10,440 at the student union and something smells a bit off about her. 997 00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,600 Do you mind just searching to see if she's actually a student here? 998 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,960 Her name is Rani Rekowski. 999 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:18,560 Oh, damn! 1000 00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,240 I left my phone in my coat in your office. 1001 00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,160 No, it's cool. I'll go. 1002 00:48:23,240 --> 00:48:24,680 [club owner] Oh, cheers. 1003 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:39,120 The arrow is now over the folder. 1004 00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:40,200 Now what? 1005 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,240 Now press and hold the button on the mouse. 1006 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,000 Right. 1007 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,480 [keys jingling] 1008 00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:57,800 B-I-G... 1009 00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,480 big jugs1. 1010 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,720 [upbeat music playing] 1011 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,280 [breathing heavily] 1012 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:16,640 Yes. 1013 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,680 Without releasing the button, drag it into your USB. 1014 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,280 -What's a USB? -What is a US-- 1015 00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,000 [Laurence] There's no trace of her, anywhere. 1016 00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,640 Will you come with me whilst I have a little conflab with her? 1017 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:36,200 [Rani] Hey, come on! 1018 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:37,600 How many eggs do you have a week?! 1019 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:43,200 But first... Come on... come on! 1020 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:44,720 [Laurence] You see, exactly, exactly, this is the problem... 1021 00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:47,320 Stay where you are. I'm coming over. 1022 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,120 Okay. Good. 1023 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:51,520 [Rani] Come on! 1024 00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,520 ...and watch this documentary and you will never eat meat again. 1025 00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,080 Okay! 1026 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:03,200 [upbeat music playing] 1027 00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:22,040 [indistinct chatter] 1028 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,720 Can I get a triple vodka with tonic please? 1029 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,200 In fact just hold the tonic... 1030 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,320 Of course, I'll just stick it on your tab. 1031 00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,240 Is that wise? No drink or drugs, remember? 1032 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,280 -I need it. -No, you don't. 1033 00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:36,880 I can't go out there sober. 1034 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:40,320 I don't sing, I don't dance, I don't act, I don't do anything! 1035 00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,600 -I'm like an appendix. -[Greg] It doesn't matter. 1036 00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:44,640 They just wanna stare at you and take pictures. 1037 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:46,240 Like an accident on the motorway. 1038 00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:47,800 -Really? -[Greg] Yeah! 1039 00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,000 Just think of yourself as a family of four 1040 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,040 who have had a head on collision with an 18-wheeler. 1041 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,480 Yeah, good. This is... this is making me feel better. 1042 00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,600 Keep talking. 1043 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:56,720 They've cut out mum and the kids, 1044 00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,240 but it doesn't look like dad's gonna make it... 1045 00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:00,400 Thank you. 1046 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,200 -[scattered booing] -[slow, rhythmic clapping] 1047 00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,280 [clapping increases tempo] 1048 00:51:10,240 --> 00:51:13,600 [cheers and applauses] 1049 00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:27,600 [indistinct chatter] 1050 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,240 What's up darlings?! 1051 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:51,080 [cheers] 1052 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:52,880 How are we all tonight? 1053 00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,880 Who wants some free shit? 1054 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:02,000 You can shout a bit louder, who wants some free shit? 1055 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,000 [cheers] 1056 00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,400 -[acoustic music playing] -[dialogue muted] 1057 00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:51,960 It's gonna take hours to text all the numbers we've got. 1058 00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,040 [Rani] No it won't. We can automate an SMS mail-out from this laptop. 1059 00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:56,240 I did a quick Google search 1060 00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:58,880 and found some open-source robo-text software. 1061 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:00,160 What did she just say? 1062 00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:01,480 So, what's our message gonna be? 1063 00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,400 “Oh, hi there, we've got some lovely cocaine for sale”? 1064 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,640 -We need code words. -What about um... "grown up sweeties"? 1065 00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:09,040 Well that just sounds paedo-y, doesn't it? 1066 00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:12,400 We need a euphemism that appeals to middle class users 1067 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,000 who get the cocaine out at dinner parties. 1068 00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:16,480 Columbian After Eights. 1069 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,320 Throw in the words “fairtrade” and “organic”. 1070 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:19,400 No can do. 1071 00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:20,640 If you call a product organic 1072 00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:22,320 when it hasn't been certified by an official body, 1073 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:23,960 -you're actually breaking the law. -Oh, right! 1074 00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:26,680 Because we don't want our cocaine breaking the law. 1075 00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:28,040 [Myrna] This is never gonna work. 1076 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,880 What, we're just gonna send out spam and hope that someone replies? 1077 00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:32,760 Listen, flyers, cold-calling, 1078 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,120 you're looking at a two-to-three percent success rate. 1079 00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,400 What about referrals? 1080 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:37,880 40 to 50%. 1081 00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:41,240 Okay so we just need a few bites to get word of mouth going. 1082 00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,280 And what if we accidentally message a policeman? 1083 00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,200 Well, no policeman is making extra work for themselves 1084 00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,320 by chasing down an anonymous text. 1085 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,560 Well, what if we accidentally message a do-gooder 1086 00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,240 who then notifies a policeman. 1087 00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:52,960 [John] Myrns, do you notify a policeman 1088 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:57,400 every time you get spam email from some Nigerian Prince? 1089 00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,600 -Don't... -And we're using burner phones 1090 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,080 so they won't be able to trace it back to us, but... 1091 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,400 -Coffee. -I'd love a coffee mate. Thanks. 1092 00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:06,480 No. As our code words. 1093 00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:10,480 Flat white for coke. Espresso for crack. 1094 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,440 Single shot, double shot... how many bags you want? 1095 00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:16,720 -Sounds good. -Yeah, sounds good. 1096 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,360 That's a good idea, yeah. 1097 00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,360 [keyboard clacking] 1098 00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:31,520 Godspeed. 1099 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,560 [tense music playing] 1100 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,360 Shall we order some extra coffees? 1101 00:54:58,360 --> 00:54:59,360 Yeah, good shout. 1102 00:54:59,720 --> 00:55:01,440 [phone rings] 1103 00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,040 Oh! Shit the bed. 1104 00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:06,240 [phone rings] 1105 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:12,760 What's your need? 1106 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,600 [man] This message... is it what I think it is? 1107 00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:17,800 It is. 1108 00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:19,480 [man] How do I know you're not police? 1109 00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:21,600 Well, unless you're planning on buying a couple of kilos, 1110 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,280 the police aren't interested in you. 1111 00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:24,760 [man] Fair enough. 1112 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:26,840 Two flat whites and a double espresso please. 1113 00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:29,720 Where are you at? 1114 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,360 [man] Makepeace Avenue. 1115 00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,360 Someone will be along shortly. 1116 00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,960 -Tell your friends. -[man] Uh, okay. 1117 00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:37,240 Goodbye. 1118 00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,280 Yes. [chuckles] 1119 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,360 [dramatic music playing] 1120 00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,320 [phone ringing] 1121 00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:02,120 [Christian] Hello? 1122 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:03,760 Yeah, what do you want? 1123 00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:05,640 [Rani] ...where are you at? 1124 00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:07,240 [Greg] What coffee's do you require? 1125 00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,280 [sighs] 1126 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,640 [metal door bangs] 1127 00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:15,160 [man screaming] 1128 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:25,480 [Christian] Where are you? 1129 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,240 -[Rani] Where are you at? -[Myrna] Where are you? 1130 00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,040 [John] Where are you? 1131 00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:31,600 [Greg] Yeah. What are you wearing? 1132 00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:32,760 I don't mean that in a sexy way. 1133 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:33,880 We just need, you know, 1134 00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:35,240 what are you wearing so we can identify you. 1135 00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,000 [John] Okay, one second, just I'll be with you in about fifteen. 1136 00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:39,080 Okay, great. 1137 00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:40,880 -[overlapping chatter] -[phones ringing] 1138 00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:43,080 It gets you buzzed up. 1139 00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:44,520 Oh, shit. 1140 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:45,600 -[John] Spread the word, okay? -[Rani] Yeah. 1141 00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:48,680 [tense music playing] 1142 00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:59,640 [theme music playing]