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00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,633
[lively music playing]
2
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,180
[elevator bell dings]
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[Pat on TV] Ladies, your Radio City show
is in two days
4
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,685
and you've sold no tickets?
5
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,728
How is that possible?
6
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{\an8}The reason that we're not selling
any tickets, Pat,
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{\an8}is because someone got us boycotted
by the Gray Holland fan army.
8
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:28,737
{\an8}That's teens, moms, and gay men.
Who is left? Straight men?
9
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,613
{\an8}Pop music is not for straight men.
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{\an8}- No.
- No, no, it isn't.
11
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,243
{\an8}- But, Dawn, the boycott--
- Has nothing to do with me.
12
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{\an8}This is not Gray Holland's baby.
13
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,080
{\an8}Okay, TikTok?
14
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{\an8}I'm just a boring lady
who sat on her husband
15
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{\an8}after a White Lotus. Scott!
16
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,002
{\an8}Oh, my God.
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00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,880
{\an8}These are texts exchanged with my wife
the morning after conception.
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{\an8}- [Summer] You're not even in focus!
- From Dawn.
19
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,009
{\an8}- [Wickie] I'm picturing it.
- Sir, you just--
20
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{\an8}- You can't just walk up in here like that.
-"Not good." Oh! Sorry.
21
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{\an8}Gray Holland could've cleared the air
himself if someone hadn't--
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{\an8}Hadn't done the right thing?
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{\an8}- You want to play the blame game?
- I do.
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{\an8}Wickie, you booked us at Radio City
on Thanksgiving, during a parade!
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{\an8}You're a parade!
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{\an8}Okay, okay.
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{\an8}In tense moments, my Tooth Smartz manual
suggests employing the laugh pivot.
28
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{\an8}[laughing hysterically]
29
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{\an8}- What are you gonna pivot to?
- I don't know, Pat!
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["Famous 5eva" playing]
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♪ Gonna be famous 5eva
'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
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♪ It's too short ♪
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♪ Gonna be famous 3-gether
'Cause that's one more than 2-gether ♪
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♪ Gonna be famous 5eva
'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
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♪ So, what are you waiting five? ♪
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♪ Girls5eva ♪
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{\an8}All that yelling reminded me
of my parents' divorce.
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{\an8}"No, you take him, Craig!"
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{\an8}Well, we've been on tour for six months.
I think we're a little sick of each other.
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- Your jaw clicks make me wanna choke you.
- Why's your mouth always open?
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- You're too pretty!
- Stop charging your vibrators in the van.
42
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["Welcome to Now" playing as ringtone]
43
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,000
Why is that Gray Holland song
your ringtone?
44
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Because it's my chewing. [laughs]
45
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- Spam Risk, you old so-and-so.
- [man] This is the IRS...
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Hey, guys, listen.
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I really think that we can still sell
all these tickets. I do.
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And my sales training--
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- Oh, my God. Enough!
- This is not time for Tooth Smartz.
50
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This is time to show your asshole
on OnlyFans!
51
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- [automated voice] Recipient found.
- [Gloria yells]
52
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How did they find me inside?
53
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You know what, Summer?
Do whatever you want to fix this.
54
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In fact, why don't we all do
our own thing for once?
55
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I have had enough of you telling us
what the moon is doing!
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- Quit pretending you don't know me!
- Stop charging your vibrators in the van!
57
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You know what? Good luck!
58
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See you wangs at sound check!
59
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[Nick] You pick out a name yet?
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00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,791
No, and I'm recusing myself.
61
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,002
I'm the one who picked "Max"
and it's too popular.
62
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Remember when I shouted,
"Come here, Max!" at the airport
63
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and we brought a different kid
to Disneyland?
64
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Some other family took me to France.
65
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,552
If I gave you guys 100 bucks,
66
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,971
would you name the baby
Ridgewood Crematorium?
67
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,181
Looking to get a little buzz
for my new business.
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00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,267
The right name is more important
than breastfeeding.
69
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- [lilting music playing]
-"Lesley" set me back years.
70
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,272
- Name one famous Lesley.
- Odom Jr.?
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- Stop.
- Nielsen. Moonves.
72
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,483
Exactly. You can't.
73
00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,904
Meanwhile, Shakira started life
on third base.
74
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,157
Shakira. She could sell out
Radio City Music Hall.
75
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Why not get her to play with you,
then she and I could hook up afterwards?
76
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,995
I don't know Shakira,
77
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but who else lives in New York City
that could sell tickets?
78
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I could probably get Grave Digger.
79
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,501
- Who?
- Not a "who." What.
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Grave Digger's a monster truck.
I play poker with one of his drivers.
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00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,089
What would it do?
82
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:38,551
Spins, freestyle, dirt work.
Those people, they show up.
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00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,887
The monster truck community
is cartoonishly bad with money.
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- Can't believe I'm considering this.
- [Wickie] Quiet on set!
85
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- [dramatic music playing]
- My life is music...
86
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and I don't do it
for the awards or for money.
87
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I do it for both.
88
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Come on.
You're still making this documentary?
89
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I'm on lights and snacks.
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I'm gonna pay off Radio City
by using our greatest commodity.
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Me.
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00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,284
Billie Eilish got 25 million for her doc.
93
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I can wear sweatshirts and have a brother.
94
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,539
And who are you gonna
sell this to tomorrow?
95
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:12,001
I have a pitch at the streamer
where Summer hosted Love is Smells.
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00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,587
- [dramatic music playing]
- Fifteen singles finding love,
97
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,631
using only smells.
98
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,717
This is Love is Smells.
99
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Move over, sights, sounds, and hands.
100
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- Great.
- [music stops]
101
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I guess I'll be the one
to fix our problems, like always.
102
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,144
Nick, book Grave Digger.
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00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:33,147
Okay, but just to be clear,
the driver I know is not Dennis Anderson.
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00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,692
So don't go around telling people
we're getting Dennis Anderson.
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- [lively music playing]
- [Summer] Girls5eva at Radio City.
106
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,737
Girls5eva at Radio City.
107
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:42,532
Hey, you don't wanna see
your family on Thanksgiving?
108
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Girls5eva at Radio City.
109
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,743
Sir! What are you doing tomorrow?
110
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:49,080
Do you wanna buy tickets to Girls5eva
at Radio City Music Hall?
111
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,249
- What is it?
- What? Girls5eva.
112
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,127
"G" as in "Girls5eva."
"I" as in "irls5eva."
113
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-"R" as in "rls5eva..."
- All seats available.
114
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Yeah. But we're really, really good.
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Doesn't matter. I can't flip these.
116
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,635
Oh, are you like a...?
117
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I'm a secondary-market liaison.
It's all legal.
118
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,725
Hey, you seem desperate.
119
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,186
If you want, I can set you up
to flip better stuff.
120
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:15,898
Show you how to pick hot shows,
manage a bot army,
121
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,735
and my cut as your mentor
would only be 10%.
122
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,446
Or I brush your hair. We'll figure it out.
123
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:25,325
It's easy money. Fully legal.
You could be your own boss.
124
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Easy money, recruiting the desperate,
125
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- weird mentors who take a cut...
- [pensive music playing]
126
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:34,459
...being the boss of your own army,
saying it's legal too many times...
127
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,626
Did I mention it's legal?
128
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,797
- Tickets are Tooth Smartz.
- [music turns hopeful]
129
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,424
[gasps]
130
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,886
I know how to sell out Radio City!
131
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{\an8}[lively music playing]
132
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Oh! Oh!
133
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Hi, hi, hi.
134
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,351
Dawn. Performing tomorrow.
I know you're the money guy.
135
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:55,730
But if we wanted
to add someone, or thing, to the bill,
136
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,857
could you update the marquee
and the website?
137
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:58,858
Probably.
138
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,611
Okay. And how much dirt
does the stage accommodate?
139
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,237
You know, for dirt work?
140
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,239
I'll check.
141
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,408
Fantastic. Okay.
142
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:13,790
The hell are you doing?
143
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,501
I'm banking everything
on booking Grave Digger.
144
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,711
- You got Dennis Anderson?
- Well, no...
145
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,254
What the hell help is that?
146
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:21,714
Oh.
147
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:22,632
Thank you.
148
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:28,513
- Did you just skoink a Rockette?
- She works here. I was getting intel.
149
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,932
- Rockette was on your spreadsheet.
- It's called multitasking.
150
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,016
Come on.
151
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,852
You have no idea how easy you've got it.
It's all mapped out.
152
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:37,438
Husband, kid one, kid two, wait for death.
153
00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:39,690
I have way more going on than that.
154
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,442
We could get a bird...
155
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:44,112
But I need to find out
if anyone beats Caroline.
156
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,615
Who still wants me, by the way. [laughs]
157
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,118
I'm still paying
for her StreamBerry account.
158
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,371
She's been watching our favorite show,
Critter Mouth with Dr. Bev.
159
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,248
In spurts of five to seven minutes.
160
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,291
Dentistry, diddling...
161
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,751
I'm on the brain, Dawn.
162
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,045
Your brain should be on this show!
163
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,506
Ah! Oh, my God! You guys!
164
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,883
I can fix everything. It's all legal.
165
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:08,636
I just need, like, $40,000.
166
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,930
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Get out of here!
167
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,809
I'm finally ready to admit this,
due to bravery.
168
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,894
[dramatic music playing]
169
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,731
I didn't grow up poor enough
to be interesting,
170
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:23,943
or rich enough to be a nepo baby,
and yet...
171
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,405
I'm still here.
172
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,199
Fighting.
173
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,330
[TV turns off]
174
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,169
I added Avatar to maximize searches.
175
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,545
Very cool.
176
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,214
At StreamBerry,
we love telling women's stories.
177
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:48,843
That's wonderful to hear, Brad, because...
178
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,012
- Wait, where's Brad?
- [tense music plays]
179
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,138
There's been a merger.
180
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,849
- I'm a Brad. These two are both Jess.
- [whimsical music playing]
181
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:57,894
Look, things have been really tight
ever since the merger.
182
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,687
No, no, please buy my doc.
183
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:02,356
Come on, every female artist
has one of these.
184
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,193
Eh... every famous female artist.
185
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:09,322
I mean, sure, if you were like a J. Lo,
a Beyoncé, even a Kate Bush.
186
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,365
What a comeback. "Running Up That Hill."
187
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,659
It's on Stranger Things,
she hits number one.
188
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,037
- Can you do that?
- By tomorrow?
189
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:16,954
I...
190
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,373
Wait, where's New Brad?
191
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:22,835
Restructuring.
It's an exciting time to be in TV.
192
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,379
I'm Jess. These are Brads.
193
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,466
- So, what is this? Murder doc?
- Murder?
194
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:31,511
- No, this is...
- Sorry. We're only buying murder.
195
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,555
Watching real death
is how America relaxes and has fun.
196
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:37,642
Do you have any true crime?
Because, boy, we at...
197
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,354
Sploin Plus would eat it up.
198
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,647
Oh, come on.
199
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:46,275
I am giving you
what the French call "sex magique."
200
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,487
But you just want the same old story
201
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,781
about some lonely,
middle-aged, white weirdo
202
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,908
who drives a van
and killed a bunch of girls?
203
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,493
Wickie, are you almost done?
204
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:56,953
I have gymnastics at 4.
205
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,120
[music turns hopeful]
206
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,039
Oh, yeah, we'd buy that in a heartbeat.
207
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,168
I got rehired
after a wonderful stint at Amazon.
208
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,589
Give me two hours, Original Brad.
209
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,760
What do you mean, Grave Digger's out?
210
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,180
- Honking the anthem at the Lions game.
- [Scott] You dodged a bullet.
211
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,058
- You're better than a monster truck.
- I don't know that I am.
212
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,143
Well, then fuck my opinion then!
213
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,228
I am so sorry.
214
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,147
I'm just really hormonal
from the sympathetic pregnancy.
215
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:28,150
We're screwed,
and I sure as hell don't have $600,000.
216
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:32,405
Wait, wait, wait. A truck driver
reading a seaplane catalog?
217
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,614
He's a teamster.
218
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:37,577
This is a set. There's gotta be
a famous around. I gotta go!
219
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,662
[lively music playing]
220
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,790
Oh! Oh! Oh! Wait, wait.
You're somebody, right?
221
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,750
- What do I know you from?
- Everything.
222
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,670
I got an IMDb page
longer than a wizard's beard.
223
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,297
You're Richard Kind!
224
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,548
You're Bing Bong!
225
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,300
- What are you doing tomorrow?
- Why?
226
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,677
My girl group booked Radio City,
we're making our comeback,
227
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,471
and we haven't sold any tickets
because of a variety of reasons.
228
00:09:57,471 --> 00:10:00,933
Whoa, whoa. You got a list of problems
longer than a wizard's beard.
229
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,768
I said that already. What else is long?
230
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,353
CVS receipt?
231
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,647
CVS receipt. That's funny.
Pretend I said that.
232
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,484
Can you do something at our show?
I could use someone to move the needle.
233
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:11,402
No, no, no.
234
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,529
I'm not a needle-mover,
and that's by design.
235
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:17,241
I've spent the past 40 years
striking the perfect balance
236
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:21,162
between constantly working
and never getting bugged in a deli.
237
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,455
And another thing...
238
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,625
Why would you say "another thing,"
then take a big bite?
239
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,337
I mistimed it. You overshot.
240
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,341
Never chase the big time.
The big time is bad news.
241
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:36,093
That's when the fighting starts.
People get desperate.
242
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,595
Friends turn on each other.
243
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:41,223
What you want is the medium time.
244
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,308
[upbeat music playing]
245
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,478
Never above number five
on the call sheet of life.
246
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,606
That's happiness. Look at me.
247
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,650
I work every day of my life,
248
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,151
doing what I love.
249
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,487
Well, not today.
Today I had a doctor's appointment.
250
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,657
I'm fine. And then I walk by here,
I see this spread,
251
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,743
I put some tissue in my collar,
and I pretend like I'm working here.
252
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,370
What is this, anyway?
253
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,663
Euphoria.
254
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,707
Did I guest on this show?
Ah, it doesn't matter.
255
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,417
The important thing is...
256
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,671
- I don't have time for this. Zendaya!
- [lilting music playing]
257
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,297
Maude Apatow!
258
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:17,551
Oh, my gosh, that conversation
was longer than a CVS receipt.
259
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:18,844
[chuckles]
260
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,138
That's funny. I just made that up.
261
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,308
{\an8}What murders?
262
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,894
{\an8}-I didn't do anything!
- [dramatic music playing]
263
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,562
I know you have a secret, Percy.
264
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,108
Wouldn't it feel good
to share it with someone?
265
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,068
Yeah.
266
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,737
{\an8}Tell your dirty little secret, Percy.
267
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,115
{\an8}I'm a P.C. baby!
268
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,157
A what?
269
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:44,954
{\an8}[sobbing] My mom got pregnant with me
with the stuff that comes before sperm.
270
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,081
{\an8}Ugh! Is that what P.C. stands for?
271
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,625
No. No, you can't get pregnant from pre--
272
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,335
{\an8}Yes, you can!
273
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,295
{\an8}It's just enough genetic information
274
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:57,299
{\an8}to make what seems like a person,
but you can tell it's wrong.
275
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,093
{\an8}Just stop it! Focus up! Look.
276
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,011
If you didn't kill those girls,
277
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:04,473
then why do we have you
confessing on tape?
278
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,308
- You do?
- Hey, ladies.
279
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:07,726
I have a confession.
280
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:10,688
I don't have a lot of friends,
so I want to say, I love--
281
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:11,605
Killing--
282
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:12,815
Five-- Girls--
283
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,067
{\an8}Oh, jeez! This is bad.
284
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,277
{\an8}Look, man.
285
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,613
- I can only help you if you talk to me.
- [ominous music playing]
286
00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:22,783
- I think I'm starting to remember.
- That's right.
287
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,619
- Why aren't you answering your phone?
- The police took it.
288
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:28,164
- [Summer] Your mouth is worth money!
- [Wickie] Summer!
289
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,208
[Wickie on screen] Hi, little baby.
290
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,378
- Freaking autoplay. What is this?
- [gentle music playing]
291
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,880
Auntie Wickie again.
292
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:40,926
Look, your parents are gonna give you
a basic name,
293
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:44,054
but I'll be there to help you overcome it.
294
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,265
I'll always be there for you,
295
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,268
even if you decide you want to be...
296
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,270
a teacher.
297
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,069
So cute.
298
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,738
[Nick] Hey, Gloria.
299
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,865
{\an8}Dawn said you guys would wear this
at the show.
300
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,575
I doubt that.
301
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,243
- [door opens]
- [Nick] Right. Well-played.
302
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,162
Ciao, Gloria.
303
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:10,581
Later days, Sandrine.
304
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,957
[funk music playing]
305
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,503
- Is that a Cigar Mommy?
- Yeah.
306
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,837
[chuckles] They're so elusive.
307
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,756
It was for the group. She's a lawyer.
308
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,926
Save the excuses for my sister.
I really don't care.
309
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,930
Oh, good, 'cause it was the last one
on my spreadsheet.
310
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,432
I have now been
with every single kind of woman.
311
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,559
- Four types.
- All 178 types.
312
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,186
Yeah, more, if you're gay.
313
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:35,022
Now I gotta crunch some numbers
and see who I should grow old with.
314
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,942
I'm gonna take these over to Fallon,
see if he'll wear them.
315
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,401
Knock yourself out.
316
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,488
[enchanting music playing]
317
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,534
Wow, y'all.
318
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,202
Wow.
319
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:50,829
My soul mate is...
320
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,043
[lively music playing]
321
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,131
- Gloria. Oh, my God. You're back.
- Caroline.
322
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,466
Before you,
323
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,261
I was with no women and 87 men.
324
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:08,430
And I was so scared
to get serious with you again,
325
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,724
'cause I'd always wonder
what else was out there.
326
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,393
- Gloria-
- Shut your perfect mouth.
327
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:16,105
In the last six months,
I've been with every kind of woman.
328
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,817
Female Popeye, Short Peg Bundy,
Corn-Fed Xena...
329
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,902
- I know the types.
- Well, I did the math.
330
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:24,029
And in every category--
331
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:28,242
Cuddling, regarding, gardening,
blasting, sense of humor...
332
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,619
Parking, nipple-play, nice to waiters.
333
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:33,205
- I know the categories--
- You were the winner!
334
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,332
I know you miss me.
335
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,294
You've been watching Critter Mouth
in late-night bursts...
336
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,045
[woman]
What's up with the Thai food, babe?
337
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,381
[pensive music playing]
338
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,757
Dr. Bev?
339
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:44,675
Huh?
340
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,803
The only woman who ever cleaned
a cat's mouth without anesthetic.
341
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,138
[chuckles nervously]
342
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,347
My God.
343
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:53,100
Glad you're a fan, but, uh...
344
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,895
I'm trying to be normal right now
with my lady.
345
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,104
[music stops]
346
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,564
- Oh, boy.
- Sorry, Gloria.
347
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,316
I had a life too.
348
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,400
Totally get it.
349
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,485
It's just embarrassing
because I brought you a gift.
350
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,571
- Oh, no.
- Oh, that's so nice.
351
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:06,864
Fuck you!
352
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,159
Sorry, I only had the one.
353
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:12,119
Wait a minute.
354
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:14,288
- I know what you're doing.
- This is beneath you.
355
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,165
Here it is. And fuck you too!
356
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,210
[man on PA]
Girls5eva to the stage for sound check.
357
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,630
- Caroline is with Dr. Bev.
- [music stops]
358
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,674
- From Critter Mouth? You can't compete.
- [woman] Welcome to OnlyFans.
359
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:28,218
- To show your butthole, press one.
- [sobs]
360
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:31,388
- To show your feet...
- You guys! I saved the show!
361
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:33,223
Look who's gonna be on-stage with us.
362
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,142
- Tell them your name.
- Leonard Kravitz.
363
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:36,226
[upbeat music playing]
364
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,895
Lenny Kravitz.
365
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,815
You put that name on the marquee,
people buy tickets.
366
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,734
- Find the lie.
- [Lenny] I'm a therapist.
367
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,737
She barged into my office.
I was with a patient.
368
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,405
Okay. Can you sing?
369
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,532
No, but like the other Lenny,
370
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:53,577
I have torn my pants
such that my penis popped out.
371
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,080
Are you guys crazy?
We're not tricking people.
372
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,331
That's insane!
373
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,250
At least I'm trying. What have you done
for the group the whole tour?
374
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,628
Oh, strong words. Now let's unpack this.
375
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,463
Hey, get back, Kravitz!
376
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,798
[tense music playing]
377
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,717
I could do things. I can fake our deaths.
378
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,636
I don't have any fox teeth,
379
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,389
but how do you feel about beaks?
380
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,849
Hmm. Do you have any falcons?
381
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,810
- [music stops]
- Oh, my God, you guys!
382
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,187
Look at us. This sucks.
383
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,064
Richard Kind was right.
384
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,273
The guy from everything?
385
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:26,276
We're fighting, we're desperate,
we're miserable.
386
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,696
- All because we went too big.
- You sure did.
387
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,781
You've somehow managed
to sell zero tickets.
388
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:34,076
Even Conan's night of Eagles covers
sold seven.
389
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:34,994
[groaning]
390
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,288
If you don't have the money,
we will be pursuing legal avenues.
391
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,541
You know what?
392
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,585
- Just sue me.
- What? Gloria, no.
393
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:44,670
Hear her out.
394
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,923
- No, Dawn. You're right.
- [lilting music playing]
395
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,510
I've been very selfish this whole tour
and I have nothing to show for it.
396
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:56,098
Except a trail of dead animals
and something called tennis labia.
397
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,100
So...
398
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:01,395
- I'll take the fall.
- No.
399
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,564
I will.
400
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,816
[music turns hopeful]
401
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,984
Sue me.
402
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:11,405
But make sure your courtroom artist
can do Black hair.
403
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:14,158
Wickie, if you're doing this
'cause you think I'm going next, I'm not.
404
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:17,327
I just don't want you
to be on the hook for this.
405
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,079
This is my mess.
406
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:24,960
And I made a promise to that little baby
that I would protect her.
407
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,129
Wickie...
408
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:32,760
I'm glad your friendship is intact,
but that's not how any of this works.
409
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,219
You are all on the hook for...
410
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,387
Oh.
411
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,639
You sold some seats since I last looked.
412
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:40,726
- Actually, you sold...
- [Summer] You guys!
413
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,479
- I sold out Radio City Music Hall!
- [upbeat music playing]
414
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:44,813
- What?
- How?
415
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,024
Tickets are tooth gummies.
416
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,444
Just multilevel marketing.
417
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:54,198
I created a bot army
to buy our most expensive tickets,
418
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:58,911
and that tricked the other resale bots
into thinking this was a very hot show,
419
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,871
and so they started buying tickets. Ha!
420
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,791
- Is this why you needed the 40 grand?
- Yes.
421
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,001
- Where did you get the money?
- My mouth.
422
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:10,130
Oh, jeez, you're faster than me.
It's on the Gray Holland song.
423
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,174
So I chewed for a man at a record company,
424
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,093
he gave me money, and then Summer took it.
425
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,804
- Ah!
- [laughs] Not bad for a P.C. baby, huh?
426
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,764
- A what?
- No. We are not getting into that.
427
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,641
I saved the tour.
428
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,559
- Come on!
- [screaming]
429
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,269
- Oh, my God.
- Yay!
430
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,729
Get off me.
431
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:27,189
Well, congratulations.
432
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,567
You gamed the system,
and the bots have driven the prices up
433
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,361
to $4000 a ticket.
434
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,320
What?!
435
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,156
So there's no way
any actual humans are coming.
436
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:37,741
You don't even need to do the show.
437
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:38,826
[music stops]
438
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,370
Are you kidding?
We're still doing the show!
439
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:44,373
- We are living legends!
- Summer's screaming too!
440
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:47,292
[dramatic rock music playing]
441
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,336
[music continues over speakers]
442
00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,427
[thunder crashing over speakers]
443
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,724
[music stops]
444
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,144
What's up, New York City?
445
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,312
[echoing]
446
00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:09,815
[scattered applause]
447
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,192
[whooping and cheering]
448
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,153
Let's go!
449
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,363
♪ Returnity ♪
450
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,824
♪ This comeback's gonna last forever ♪
451
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,742
♪ Returnity ♪
452
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:23,203
♪ Never gonna not un-comeback now ♪
453
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,955
♪ Returnity ♪
454
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,332
♪ Always gonna never stop restarting ♪
455
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,334
♪ Never gonna end not un-beginning ♪
456
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:33,046
♪ Don't un-try to un-stop us now ♪
457
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:34,965
♪ Every year when my son's school ♪
458
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,843
♪ Sends out their class list
With parents' names ♪
459
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,012
♪ The first thing I do is Google them ♪
460
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:44,141
♪ To see what they paid
For their apartments ♪
461
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:51,982
♪ Get it, get it off your chest ♪
462
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,401
♪ I don't know what to do with batteries ♪
463
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:57,029
♪ So I just throw them in the river ♪
464
00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:02,868
♪ I give bigger tips
To unattractive people ♪
465
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:06,580
♪ I only like people who like me
But be careful ♪
466
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:10,209
♪ If you like me too much
It has the opposite effect ♪
467
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,128
♪ And I find you desperate ♪
468
00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,671
♪ Get it, get it off your chest... ♪
469
00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:15,714
What is this?
470
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:18,926
I bought a $9000 ticket
just because it was expensive.
471
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:23,180
- ♪ I once masturbated in a hospital bed ♪
- ♪ So did I ♪
472
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,390
♪ Kick down the doors, no locks
I don't need a key ♪
473
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,392
♪ Eyes down here
Yeah, I'm the centerpiece ♪
474
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,144
♪ Animal queendom, feline synergy ♪
475
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,104
♪ Kicking down the doors
Big pussy energy ♪
476
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:34,316
♪ I don't care if you like me
Swagger that says you just met somebody ♪
477
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:38,111
♪ Confidence boosted by Vitamin P
Kicking down the doors, big pussy energy ♪
478
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,948
♪ In memoriam... ♪
479
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:46,245
♪ Not making it about me ♪
480
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,372
♪ In memoriam... ♪
481
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:53,418
♪ Honoring their dignity ♪
482
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:57,839
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ In memoriam ♪
483
00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:04,930
♪ This song is all about them ♪
484
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:08,725
♪ Then shrug it out
Shrug it out, shrug it out ♪
485
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:10,894
♪ Pop your hip, front dip, jacket zip ♪
486
00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:13,146
♪ Hat tip, chef's kiss, doggie wrists ♪
487
00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:14,731
♪ You can't handle this ♪
488
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:17,776
Oh, yeah, it's the Splingee, y'all.
489
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:21,571
[Dawn] Well...
490
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,993
we have been losing our minds
trying to get here.
491
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:29,830
[sighs] But yesterday,
492
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:33,250
I met someone who reminded me
to keep it simple.
493
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:38,880
I don't know about you, but I want
to do what I love for a very long time.
494
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,300
This is a new one.
495
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:44,511
[playing soulful pop melody]
496
00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:47,639
♪ Sometimes I look around ♪
497
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:52,227
♪ My heart is aching ♪
498
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:58,108
♪ All the mistakes I keep making ♪
499
00:21:58,108 --> 00:22:03,822
♪ All the roads I've taken ♪
500
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,868
♪ I met a wise man ♪
501
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:13,540
♪ Who came when I needed reminding ♪
502
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:18,420
♪ That everything you ever need
Is provided ♪
503
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:25,510
♪ Just be kind
And trust that you're trying to grow ♪
504
00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:28,513
♪ Grow ♪
505
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:33,477
♪ Good things come slow ♪
506
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:36,688
♪ Not too high ♪
507
00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,732
♪ Not too low ♪
508
00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:41,777
♪ We're the medium time ♪
509
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:46,364
♪ Staying in the middle
Is the only way to go ♪
510
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,076
♪ Grow ♪
511
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:54,372
♪ Trust time will know ♪
512
00:22:54,372 --> 00:22:58,960
♪ That the middle
Is the riddle of it all ♪
513
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:06,635
♪ And the medium time
Is just fine for now ♪
514
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:09,513
♪ Grow ♪
515
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:14,976
♪ Trust time will know ♪
516
00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:20,065
♪ That the middle
Is the riddle of it all ♪
517
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:23,110
♪ And the medium time ♪
518
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:28,031
♪ Is just fine for now ♪
519
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:30,742
[whooping]
520
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,119
- Yeah! [whistles]
- [cheering]
521
00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:35,122
[upbeat music playing]
522
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:37,124
[Scott] Excellent! Excellent!
523
00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:40,168
Thank you, New York City!
524
00:23:40,168 --> 00:23:42,212
[Gloria] Happy Thanksgiving!
525
00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:45,298
- Oh!
- [laughs]
526
00:23:47,884 --> 00:23:51,429
Guys, we just played Radio City.
527
00:23:51,429 --> 00:23:53,140
Hey, why are my toes wet?
528
00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:54,182
[gasps]
529
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:56,226
- Oh, my God. Did my water break?
- Yes.
530
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:59,479
Scott, get up here!
It's the second baby! It's gonna shoot.
531
00:23:59,479 --> 00:24:01,106
It's gonna just shoot out.
532
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:06,444
Angus, how do you expect Snuggly Bear
to nap in Dr. Hippo's pajamas?
533
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:09,156
I'm going to ask Mummy
to cut your head off.
534
00:24:09,906 --> 00:24:13,451
Richard Kind is in this one too?
Goddamn, that guy's got a work ethic.
535
00:24:13,451 --> 00:24:14,828
[upbeat music playing]
536
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:17,122
- Look who's home!
- Oh, my gosh.
537
00:24:18,373 --> 00:24:20,208
That ain't no pig.
538
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,751
Hi, baby.
539
00:24:21,751 --> 00:24:23,170
[Summer] Hey, listen.
540
00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:26,006
Don't worry if the mother-daughter bond
hasn't kicked in yet.
541
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,174
For me and Stevia,
542
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:30,302
it really wasn't until we started
watching Below Deck together.
543
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,928
- Thank you, Summer.
- [Sheawn] Scott,
544
00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:34,181
I made a couple hundred pounds
of mac and cheese.
545
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,432
It's in your bathtub.
546
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:37,434
- Oh.
- Moment of truth.
547
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,229
What is the dumb name
I need to help her overcome?
548
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,607
Her name is Lesley.
549
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:46,401
- Ugh. Hate it. Basic. Already forgotten.
- [whimsical music playing]
550
00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:47,944
Wait. After who?
551
00:24:47,944 --> 00:24:49,529
What, Lesley Stahl?
552
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:50,614
No.
553
00:24:51,364 --> 00:24:52,699
After you, Wickie.
554
00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:55,493
[gentle music playing]
555
00:24:55,493 --> 00:24:57,078
Little Lee-Lee?
556
00:24:58,413 --> 00:25:00,832
Hi, Little Lee-Lee!
557
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,250
Nobody ever hurt her!
558
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,836
Looks like a Tawny to me.
But yeah, sure, why not?
559
00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:07,756
This!
560
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:09,674
My girls!
561
00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:11,676
My normie!
562
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:13,345
Now I'm an auntie.
563
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:17,849
- You know, this might be all I need.
- [poignant music playing]
564
00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:21,770
Oh, God. Maybe we don't need
to chase fame so hard.
565
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:25,148
Maybe happiness isn't in the big time.
566
00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:28,401
- It's in the medium time.
- Yes.
567
00:25:28,401 --> 00:25:30,403
That's what my song is about.
You're quoting it.
568
00:25:30,403 --> 00:25:33,657
Shut the fuck up.
I hear myself singing somewhere.
569
00:25:33,657 --> 00:25:35,492
[Wickie on TV] ♪ Yesternights ♪
570
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:37,869
Prince Andrew is stuck
in the Fluff-Side Down.
571
00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:41,248
It's his preferred world.
Turn that song up.
572
00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:43,875
We need to keep him tethered to reality.
573
00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:48,171
♪ Yesternights ♪
574
00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:49,673
♪ Of nights... ♪
575
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:52,217
"Yesternights" is in the finale
of The Crown.
576
00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:54,219
My God. You're gonna Kate Bush.
577
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,845
♪ Yesternights ♪
578
00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:58,765
- It's Nance Trace.
- Oh, my gosh.
579
00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,769
- [in British accent] Wickie Roy's office.
- [Nance] I know it's you, Wickie.
580
00:26:02,769 --> 00:26:06,022
Sony wants you to do a song
for their female Garfield movie.
581
00:26:06,022 --> 00:26:08,066
[in normal voice]
I'm still a package deal, Nance.
582
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:10,527
Girls5eva or nothing.
583
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:13,071
Well, that's stupid,
but you've got the heat.
584
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:19,160
What about the medium time?
I thought you agreed with my song.
585
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:23,290
- [upbeat music playing]
- Wickie. Come on, are we doing this?
586
00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:24,374
Nance?
587
00:26:26,293 --> 00:26:27,627
The answer is...
588
00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:36,553
♪ Get it, get it off your chest ♪
589
00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:41,683
♪ I count anxiety dreams as working out ♪
590
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:46,521
♪ And I can't count the number of times
I called my Alexa a cunt ♪
591
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:48,773
♪ Neither can we ♪
592
00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:50,817
♪ There's a type of euphoria ♪
593
00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:53,194
♪ That can only be reached by ♪
594
00:26:53,194 --> 00:26:56,114
♪ Dragging a foot with athlete's foot ♪
595
00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:59,242
♪ Vigorously across a carpet ♪
596
00:26:59,242 --> 00:27:01,536
♪ I'd like to think I'm a hero ♪
597
00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:04,164
♪ But I bet when the apocalypse comes ♪
598
00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:06,458
♪ I'll be one of those losers ♪
599
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:10,337
♪ Who needs to be
Dragged around on a sled ♪
600
00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:12,964
♪ Sometimes when I'm driving
I close my eyes ♪
601
00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:16,509
♪ And count to five
Just to see what happens ♪
602
00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:19,095
♪ Get it, get it off your chest ♪
603
00:27:19,095 --> 00:27:21,890
- ♪ Okay, here's a genuine question ♪
- ♪ Get it, get it off your chest ♪
604
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:25,518
♪ Are all people with red hair
And freckles ♪
605
00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:27,145
♪ Morning people? ♪
606
00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:31,358
♪ Because I swear
I've never seen one at night ♪
607
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:34,652
- ♪ Show me a redhead at night! ♪
- ♪ Is it bad ♪
608
00:27:34,652 --> 00:27:38,531
♪ That some of the best times I've had
With my son ♪
609
00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:42,786
♪ Are when he has a little fever? ♪
610
00:27:42,786 --> 00:27:45,372
- ♪ He's so calm and cuddly ♪
- ♪ It's a little bad ♪
611
00:27:45,372 --> 00:27:50,085
♪ I lived in Usher's guesthouse
For two years ♪
612
00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:54,589
♪ He never knew! Ha! ♪