1
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:03,504
- OLIVER: Are you going out on a date?
- Date?
2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,839
No! Tobert has
a suspect he has a lead on.
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,591
I'm meeting him for a stakeout,
4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:08,759
and the place has a dress code.
5
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:12,221
Jonathan?
Howard's sweet boyfriend was your guy?
6
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,181
Who else had more to gain
from him dying, you know?
7
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,307
Who's he hugging hello?
8
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:18,143
He's wearing a red coat and a cap.
9
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,563
That was Ben's private doctor.
One of those, uh, celebrity concierge,
10
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,315
anything-you-need
prescription-filler types.
11
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:26,443
You're here!
Welcome to my slice of New York.
12
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,655
Hey, you know who was a real fucking pig?
13
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:30,906
Ben Glenroy.
14
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,200
You didn't mean to propose to me?
15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,284
No, I didn't.
16
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,619
♪
17
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,496
Mabel, be my partner.
18
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:38,914
I already have partners.
19
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,542
The old guys?
No, they're busy putting together
20
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,837
another bomb of a Broadway show,
which leaves you where?
21
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,880
[kissing, moaning]
22
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,217
Shall I draw us a bath?
23
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:54,888
Oliver?
24
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,724
I'm waiting...
25
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,480
[dramatic thunder crack]
26
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,483
♪ gentle music playing ♪
27
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,527
[breeze blowing]
28
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:11,905
HOWARD:
Theaters are known for their ghosts.
29
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,324
Take the Goosebury.
[projector whirring]
30
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:16,201
In 1919,
31
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:20,080
Gideon Goosebury was a rising star
on the Great White Way.
32
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,665
But on opening night,
33
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:25,460
playing the lovesick chimney sweep in
Ashes to Ashes,
34
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,881
a 300-pound sandbag
came loose from the rafters
35
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,592
and brained him in the middle
of his second-act monologue.
36
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,594
Legend has it,
37
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:37,973
if you don't sweep
Gideon's energy off the stage every night,
38
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,809
he'll find a way to curse your show.
39
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,102
There was the cholera outbreak
40
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,397
that tore through
the company of Hamlet in 1949,
41
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,316
John Gielgud's crippling shingles attack
42
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,694
during The Iceman Cometh revival in '88,
43
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:53,989
and now the death of Ben Glenroy.
44
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,032
[thunder rumbles]
45
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,034
♪
46
00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,078
When you make the stage
a part of your life,
47
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,457
it can be hard to escape
your personal ghosts, too.
48
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,667
[thunder continues]
49
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,337
Your obsessions.
50
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,088
Your failures.
51
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:13,091
Just when you think you've broken free
from your old patterns,
52
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,469
boom.
53
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,513
They come back to haunt you.
54
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,932
CHARLES:
I know, President McKinley,
55
00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:22,100
Joy took everything.
56
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,269
Except you and me.
57
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,605
The guys with the attitude problems.
58
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,441
[thunder cracks]
59
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,651
But we'll be fine.
60
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,987
We have each other.
61
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:37,157
HOWARD: But what do you do
when your future starts haunting you?
62
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,244
The choices you'll never make.
The lives you'll never lead.
63
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,787
[banging on door]
64
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,122
What's more dangerous
65
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,208
than someone whose dreams have died?
66
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,668
Howard! What's wrong?
67
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,753
I have something I need to confess.
68
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,257
I killed Ben Glenroy.
69
00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:54,675
[thunder cracks]
70
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,678
♪ lively theme song playing ♪
71
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,681
♪ vocalizing ♪
72
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,515
[thunder rumbling]
73
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,350
HOWARD:
Legend has it,
74
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,935
three sweeps to the north,
75
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,813
three sweeps to the south, you're safe.
76
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,816
I did that every night during
Death Rattle.
77
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,484
But on opening night,
78
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,403
[sob] I didn't sweep
79
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,405
[shudders] and Ben died!
80
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,949
- [thunder rumbles]
- [sighs] Hold on.
81
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,368
I thought you said
you killed Ben Glenroy.
82
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,703
Yes.
CHARLES: Now, you're saying
83
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,788
a ghost killed Ben Glenroy.
84
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,832
Yes, Charles! It's perfectly simple!
85
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:12,211
I was protecting our show
from a malevolent spirit
86
00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:14,087
with a nightly sweeping ritual.
87
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,672
[sighs] But on opening night,
88
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,926
I went to get the broom from KT's office
89
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,595
and it was locked.
90
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,432
Strange noises coming from within.
91
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,852
I should have found her.
I should have gotten the key.
92
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:32,648
But I try to never interact with KT
because of her casual cruelty.
93
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,857
And her breath.
94
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,985
So I didn't sweep, and five hours later,
95
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,404
Ben was dead! [sobs]
96
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,908
Howard, why haven't you
told anyone about this before?
97
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,993
I guess I convinced myself
it was all in my head.
98
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,704
But then, this morning,
99
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,834
I saw him.
ALL: Who?
100
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,419
Gideon.
[thunder cracks]
101
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,005
I was at the theater.
102
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,882
I was sweeping
103
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,717
because we're moving back
into the theater tomorrow
104
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,262
and I wanna make sure
it's completely ghost-free.
105
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,474
And I heard a noise.
106
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,768
[thunder rumbles]
107
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,064
[eerie chirp]
108
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,817
[soft buzzing]
109
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,820
♪ eerie music playing ♪
110
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,614
[buzzing, whirring]
111
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,450
[whoosh]
112
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,453
[echoing]
Hello?
113
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,706
Is someone there?
114
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:31,707
[whoosh]
115
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,710
I know Krav Maga!
116
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,171
[narrating]
And there he was,
117
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:40,883
in his signature cap and red coat.
118
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,801
I said...
119
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,428
Gideon Goosebury!
120
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,514
Is that you?
121
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:48,807
[narrating]
And he said...
122
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,767
FIGURE [echoing]:
Sure...
123
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,730
[maniacal laugh]
[screaming]
124
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,065
[thunder rumbles]
125
00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:00,152
Howard, I hate to break it to you,
but ghosts aren't real.
126
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,612
Oh, of course, they are.
127
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,238
Ho! Man in towel!
128
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,032
Yes, Charles, I'm aware.
129
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,033
[Oliver sighs]
130
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,327
Spoiler alert.
MABEL: Nope,
131
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,579
not the correct usage of that whatsoever.
132
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,706
- Plot twist?
- Still no.
133
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,750
You know, I shot
a ghost hunter doc once
134
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,086
and we spent an entire night
aboard the haunted Queen Mary.
135
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,797
Around 3:00 AM, alone in the dining room,
136
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,467
I saw her with my own two eyes,
the Lady in White.
137
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:26,512
Did you know that Queen Mary
was England's first queen regnant?
138
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:29,139
A lot of people think it was
Matilda from the 12th century
139
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,350
but she was never actually crowned.
140
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:34,728
Charles, if the goal was to offer
a more interesting anecdote,
141
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,230
we're headed in the wrong direction.
142
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,397
Hello!
143
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,859
Is anyone hearing what I'm saying?!
144
00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,862
There is a murderous ghost
loose in our theater right now
145
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,781
and he's coming from one of us next!
146
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,742
[thunder cracks]
Oh! God! I'm telling you--
147
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,577
- [crying]
- Howard, breathe!
148
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,913
Hey, just, uh, give us a moment. Hm?
149
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,498
Hey, what's up with your tooth?
150
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,416
Oh, it's a temporary. If I like it,
151
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,294
the dentist says he'll do
the rest to match. What do you think?
152
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:02,214
- Bright. Like a headlight.
- Oh. Ah.
153
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,384
Okay. Obviously,
Howard didn't see an actual ghost
154
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,386
but I still think it's worthwhile
us going over there.
155
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,804
Oh, I totally agree.
156
00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:11,181
S-- [laughs] Sorry.
We're having a conversation here.
157
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,350
Mabel, did you hear what he said
about the cap and the red coat?
158
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,394
- I mean, it kinda sounds like...
- Ben's doctor?
159
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,812
I had the same thought.
OLIVER: Jesus.
160
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:20,482
Right, so he saw us last night,
and then realized he'd been made...
161
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,527
So he goes straight to the theater
this morning to cover his tracks.
162
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,238
Exactly. I mean, if he and Jonathan
are behind the poisoning,
163
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,448
then they'd definitely wanna
make sure there's no evidence.
164
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,826
That's good.
[clears throat loudly]
165
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,620
Oh, sorry. Hi! We're still here.
166
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,497
Yeah, the original three
who came into the dining room.
167
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,623
Yeah, remember that?
168
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,624
Yeah.
169
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,794
You suspect Jonathan now?
170
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,963
And you're investigating with this guy?
171
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:46,466
Jonathan was Ben's understudy.
That's a pretty big motive.
172
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,887
And I told you I was going on a stakeout
with Tobert last night.
173
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:52,681
Oh yeah. Right. I forgot.
174
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,850
I was probably preoccupied with Joy,
175
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,811
who left me, by the way. Spoiler alert.
176
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,439
Wait, Joy left you? When?
177
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,691
- CHARLES: Yesterday.
- Are you okay, Charles?
178
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,985
Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
179
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,486
This is not my first rodeo.
180
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,906
This old clown's been
bucked by Lady Love before
181
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,782
and got back up to ride again.
182
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,451
Yee-haw!
183
00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:14,077
- Very convincing.
- Well, the point is
184
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,704
I'm completely fine,
185
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:18,957
and Joy did not write "fucking pig."
186
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,084
- [thunder rumbles]
- Well, someone did.
187
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,878
Is it possible this ghost thing
188
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,130
is Howard trying to cover for Jonathan?
189
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,090
He sounded genuinely distraught.
190
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:30,010
And we all know that Howard can't act
his way out of a damp paper bag.
191
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,846
Here's a thought.
Why don't I go with Howard
192
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,806
to the theater alone?
193
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:35,891
I'll throw him a bone.
194
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,143
We can look into his ghost thing,
you know?
195
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:42,314
- What?
- Nothing, it's just surprising.
196
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,775
You haven't exactly been
driving this investigation.
197
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,277
In fact, you've been anti-investigation.
198
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,781
Well, why don't I make it up to you
with a little solo mish?
199
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,659
Mish is short f-for mishegoss.
200
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,744
No way. I'm coming, too.
201
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,829
- If you're going, so am I.
- Alright, I'm gonna tell Tobert.
202
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:01,375
Wait! Mabel, a word?
You know, we're kind of a trio.
203
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,918
And we're not hiring.
204
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:05,128
Alright, fine.
205
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,506
This'll be fun, the three of us together.
206
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,007
I've missed this.
[Charles and Oliver laugh]
207
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,844
Hey! Jack, Janet, and Chrissy,
can we speed this up, please?!
208
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,222
It's a Three's Company reference!
209
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,432
Those were the original
character names on the show
210
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,768
before they changed Chrissy to Cindy!
211
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,978
Why the fuck am I yelling?!
212
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,938
Oh, oh, oh, oh, I know!
Because there is
213
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,731
a murderous ghost on the loose!
[thunder cracks]
214
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,733
[door clangs]
[thunder rumbling]
215
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,237
[shivering, gasping]
216
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,656
[Oliver groaning]
217
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:34,658
[echoing door slam]
218
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:37,578
- [quietly] It's dark in here.
- [loudly] Except for the ghost light.
219
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,579
[shushing]
220
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,914
Whoever Howard saw might still be here.
Keep it down.
221
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,292
[quietly]
I'm sorry. I was saying the ghost light
222
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,085
is an old theater tradition.
223
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,171
It has to stay on at all times,
224
00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:48,797
and it never ever goes out.
225
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,049
[light fizzles]
[Howard gasps]
226
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,759
Nonbeliever says what?
227
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,012
That was kinda strange.
228
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:57,890
No, no, KT probably did it.
She must be here running cues.
229
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,935
Why don't you all go see
if she's in the booth behind the balcony
230
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,897
and I'll look around the dressing rooms?
Good? Good.
231
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:07,399
No! We have to stick together.
232
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,401
That's right.
First rule of every horror movie.
233
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,361
Never get separated.
[Oliver grunts]
234
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,031
All this commotion can't be good
for President McKinley.
235
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,743
- The fish is named President McKinley?
- Why is he here with us again?
236
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:20,787
Imagine you're in a fish tank
all day long, and you look out,
237
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,748
and you see two people walking by.
238
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:25,709
And then one day, you only see one.
239
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,877
He could be traumatized.
240
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,879
[echoing thud]
[Howard yelps, gasps]
241
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,340
That's exactly how Gideon died.
242
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,883
It is?
243
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,093
Could Gideon be out for me now?
244
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,095
Charles, do not make this all about you!
245
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,139
[rope whips, sandbag thuds]
[all yelp]
246
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,142
Okay, maybe it is about you.
247
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,479
[rope creaking]
248
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,857
♪ eerie crescendo ♪
249
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,863
- [thunder rumbles]
- Oh God, oh God, oh God.
250
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,784
Broom! I need that broom!
251
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:01,537
Damn it, Howard, you made me
fuck up my highlighting.
252
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,874
[shredder whirring]
253
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,751
KT, we may have an issue.
254
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:10,754
The issue is I was just nearly killed
by two falling sandbags.
255
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,923
Ladies and gentlemen, stay calm.
256
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,925
I'm gonna need everyone
to keep the stage clear
257
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,844
while I safety check the flies.
258
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,846
Now, who has small hands
who can help me test the ropes?
259
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,932
Take Howard. He has hands
like an American Girl doll.
260
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,226
- I do not.
- Howard, go with KT.
261
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,769
Do literally whatever she says.
262
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:26,770
[Howard groans]
263
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,483
MABEL:
Hey.
264
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,612
- Is this an attendance sheet?
- Yeah, it's a sign-in sheet.
265
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,698
You sign in when you come in at half hour.
266
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,408
Handwriting samples from the whole cast.
267
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,285
We can use this to compare
268
00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,995
to the "fucking pig"
on Ben's mirror.
269
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,039
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think that would be very helpful.
270
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,500
It's exactly the kind of thing
that you would do.
271
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,961
I basically pulled it from
the Oliver Putnam playbook.
272
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,547
Well, that playbook
is mine to play with,
273
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,299
so gimme that.
274
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,594
Is he leaking?
His water seems low.
275
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,889
I still don't understand
why you brought him.
276
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,391
Oh. Well,
277
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,894
this is a little embarrassing
to say, but...
278
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,897
this fish is all I have right now.
279
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,316
It's not like all of us
have hot new boyfriends.
280
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:14,484
Tobert is not my boyfriend.
281
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,403
Oh, so you do pronounce the final T.
282
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,989
It's not like a French cheese. Tobere...
283
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:22,451
[French accent] Uh, garçon?
S'il vous plait, I would like a le Tobere.
284
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,453
- Oh, oui, monsieur. Et votre--
- Okay!
285
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:27,206
- I'm just gonna cut you off at the cheese.
- Well...
286
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,292
did you record
with him for our podcast?
287
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,627
- No!
- Well,
288
00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,170
you showed him our Murder Board.
289
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,548
And how about our red string?
Did you let his handsome fingers
290
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,926
move our red string around?
291
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,719
- Charles.
- Well, how can we trust you
292
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,179
with confidential case information
293
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:44,890
when we know you might share it
with a stranger at any moment?
294
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:47,893
How can you trust me? Wha-- I...
295
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,811
And he's not a stranger.
296
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,481
We just have to be careful
who we get involved with.
297
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:55,692
Yeah, and I think I have a better
track record with that than you.
298
00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:58,153
Tobert has done more for this case
299
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:01,406
in the past two days
than you have the past two weeks.
300
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,868
Okay, yeah. But I've been busy.
301
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,870
Yeah, but I... [sighs]
302
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,873
- Where the hell is Oliver?
- You know,
303
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,792
President McKinley is definitely leaking.
304
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,335
I need to find something to put him in.
305
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,462
I think there's a props closet
down the hall.
306
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,839
Yeah, you go ahead and do that,
307
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,091
Oliver can do whatever
the hell he's doing,
308
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:22,511
and I'll keep investigating,
alone, as usual!
309
00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:25,514
♪
310
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:28,934
Okay...
311
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,771
[sighs]
312
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:40,863
I really don't see it.
313
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,616
How many ways are there
to write an F anyway?
314
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:46,952
[sighs]
315
00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:49,204
Son of a bitch.
316
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,415
[eerie thudding]
317
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,666
Guys?
318
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:56,920
Th-There's something here
I think you should see.
319
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:00,048
[thudding continues]
320
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,300
Hello?
321
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,510
Is someone there?
322
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,678
[lights buzzing]
323
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,306
I also know Krav Maga!
324
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:08,891
Hello?
325
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,434
♪
326
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:12,436
I'm coming up, so...
327
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:13,854
[light buzzing]
328
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,355
I'm here.
329
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,025
So...
330
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,028
[grunting]
331
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,788
My God, this looks like
the Phantom of the Opera's
college dorm room.
332
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,958
[distant thudding]
333
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,586
♪ dramatic sting ♪
334
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,714
You're right.
I never should have brought you here.
335
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,133
[door opens]
336
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,429
Hello. Get you a little water.
337
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,848
No problem. Ooh.
[faucet squeaks]
338
00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:54,603
You're an indoor fish.
You belong in a tank.
339
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,773
Water is water, right?
340
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,111
Hey, who loves you?
Go ahead, stretch out. [laughs]
341
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,905
I'll be back to get you when we're done.
342
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,907
[knob rattling, door banging]
343
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,201
[nervous laugh]
Hello.
344
00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:11,036
[banging door]
Really?
345
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,496
♪
346
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:15,082
Hello? Hello!
[doorknob rattling]
347
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:18,043
No need to panic.
348
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,837
My friends will notice I'm gone,
349
00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:21,338
and they'll come back to get me.
350
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,927
[emphatically]
I said don't panic!
351
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,220
♪
352
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,680
Ah!
[muffled yell]
353
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,348
Ow!
354
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,684
Jesus Christ, you bit me.
355
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:36,478
Yeah, well, that's just the tip
of the incisor, you fucking...
356
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,397
[machinery humming]
357
00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:41,108
Jerry? Jerry Blau?
358
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,902
Oliver. Oh, thank God,
a fellow director.
359
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,113
You shouldn't sneak up
on people like that, Jerry!
360
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,657
I'm not a young man!
You could've given me a heart attack!
361
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:52,244
I'm sorry, Ollie. I thought you were
someone coming to kick me out.
362
00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:53,745
What are you doing here?
363
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:56,331
Donna fired you off this show a year ago.
364
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:58,792
Are you living in here?
365
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,879
No. I mean, yes. I'm squatting.
366
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:05,424
But there's a rich tradition
of that in the theater, right?
367
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:06,967
Right.
368
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,886
I did spend a complicated three months
369
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:11,096
living in Maureen Stapleton's mud room.
370
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:14,266
But this is a different situation!
You shouldn't be here, Jerry.
371
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:16,810
Just wait. I can explain.
372
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,270
Have a seat.
373
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,858
Can I interest you in a snack?
374
00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:24,443
No, I'm good. Thanks.
375
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:27,362
It's so nice having company.
376
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,865
[fizzling, snapping]
Oh!
377
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:31,992
[light buzzing]
378
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,494
Charles? Oliver?
379
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,079
♪
380
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,582
[eerie thudding]
[footsteps approach]
381
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,754
♪ music swells ♪
382
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,464
- Tobert?
- Wow. Look,
383
00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:48,050
I know that you wanted
to be with your guys, okay?
384
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,802
But I decided to tail Jonathan
and he led me right here to the theater.
385
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,095
[door opens]
Shh.
386
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,597
[door shuts]
That's him.
387
00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:54,890
Alright, come on. Let's go.
388
00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,476
[clears throat] Maybe unhand me?
389
00:16:57,476 --> 00:16:59,228
- Oh! Yeah, sorry.
- Thanks.
390
00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:01,688
Hey, I'm glad you came.
391
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,482
[light buzzing]
392
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:05,317
[cables clanking]
393
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:08,362
You don't like me, do you?
KT: You're irrelevant to the show.
394
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,531
Therefore, you're irrelevant to me.
395
00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,991
Irrelevant?
I have been protecting this show
396
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,410
from negative spirits since day one.
397
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,579
And if you hadn't locked
your office on opening night,
398
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:21,083
I wouldn't have missed a day
and Ben Glenroy might still be alive.
399
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,418
[sighs] First of all,
my office door is never locked.
400
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,003
It was locked on opening night.
401
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:28,423
Not by me it wasn't.
And what negative spirits?
402
00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:31,301
Not Gideon.
[rattling]
403
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,886
[whispers]
You know about Gideon?
404
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:37,391
Fuck it, Howard,
I've done 43 shows in this building!
405
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:39,142
Of course, I know about Gideon!
406
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,644
Shh!
407
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,357
But do you know
how dangerous he can be?
408
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,026
I do. That's why I was sweeping.
409
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,319
[chuckles]
410
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:52,197
Fuckin' amateur hour.
Sweeping does nothing.
411
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,283
- It doesn't?
- Mm-mmm.
412
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,079
This is the closest I've ever
come to my dream job
413
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,497
and I fucked it up.
414
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,125
Your dream job was to be an assistant?
415
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:06,128
No, an actor. I always wanted to act.
416
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,255
But then, in junior high,
417
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,716
I got cast as John Proctor
in The Crucible.
418
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:11,717
KT:
Mm.
419
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:15,387
[spotlight clicks]
It was thrilling at first.
420
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,932
Feeling the spotlight warm my face
421
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,935
the first time I delivered
my big monologue.
422
00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:25,439
[spotlight clicks, powers down]
423
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,524
But after the show,
my mother told me
424
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:30,527
my stage voice was matronly and shrill.
425
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:34,031
She said she never wanted to hear me
use that voice again in public.
426
00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:39,411
So I quit before I even began.
427
00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:42,497
Damn.
428
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,458
[inhales]
429
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,461
I always wanted to be a director. [laughs]
430
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:50,506
But that ship has sailed.
431
00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:52,424
Don't say that.
432
00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:54,134
You're not Gideon.
433
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,553
You're not dead. Yet.
434
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,806
[deep sigh]
435
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,184
You don't sweep Gideon away.
436
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,728
You have to include him. Come on.
437
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:13,403
How long have I been abandoned?
One hour? Five hours?
438
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:15,656
Nice to know I'm missed, huh?
439
00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,908
[sighs] You know what?
440
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:20,953
Maybe you're right.
441
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:23,539
If you piss off everyone in your tank,
442
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:26,750
how can you blame them
when you end up alone? [scoffs]
443
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:30,546
Wh-Why did I have to make fun
of that guy's name? "Tobert."
444
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,548
It's a perfectly good name!
445
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:35,300
But we're gonna get through this,
you and me.
446
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,553
You don't mind if I relieve myself, do ya?
447
00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:39,471
[groans] I had two cups of coffee,
448
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,015
and who knows how long
we're gonna be in here.
449
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:45,978
[urinating]
[heavy breathing]
450
00:19:45,978 --> 00:19:48,814
- [sizzling]
- After Donna fired me,
451
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:51,149
Marshall and I had a dispute
452
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:54,403
about my ability
to continue paying our mortgage
453
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:57,865
and I was asked to vacate the premises.
454
00:19:57,865 --> 00:20:00,367
Luckily, this place is free,
455
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,662
as long as I don't get caught. Shh...
456
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,789
So, you're the ghost?
457
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:09,751
Your manservant
spotted me this morning.
458
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:13,714
I heard him ranting
about Gideon Goosebury,
459
00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:16,383
and I thought if
I could pretend to be him,
460
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,178
offer a few frights, drop a few sandbags,
461
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:21,054
it might scare you all off.
462
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,432
Long shot, I know, but...
463
00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:26,810
is there also any chance
that you killed Ben Glenroy?
464
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:29,354
Really, Oliver? I'm offended.
465
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:32,733
I may have suffered
a minor career setback
466
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,652
but I'm not a monster!
467
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,739
- [shoe thuds]
- Ah! Oh my-- Is that a rat?!
468
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,701
You came on a good night.
469
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:45,204
I doubt I'll have
a good night ever again.
470
00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:47,206
[sighs]
471
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,001
You okay, Ollie?
472
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:54,630
♪
473
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:57,049
You know the first rule of theater?
474
00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,551
Don't feed Hugh Jackman after midnight.
475
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,803
- The other one.
- Oh!
476
00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:04,556
You fell in love with one of your actors.
477
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:05,682
Yes.
478
00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:08,602
- Lady with the braids?
- Mm-hmm.
479
00:21:09,728 --> 00:21:12,898
Now you're worried
because of her violent temper.
480
00:21:14,149 --> 00:21:16,818
What? Wh-What violent temper?
481
00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:19,321
Well, you know what happened
backstage on opening night?
482
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,908
Oh! You don't know.
483
00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:27,037
Well [laughs] luckily,
you're not the only director here.
484
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:31,208
[sighs] Voilà. Puppets.
485
00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:32,501
Oh good lord.
486
00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:36,129
See? I keep busy. [laughs]
487
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:38,173
[urinating]
CHARLES: So then, I say to the guy,
488
00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:41,885
"Look, if you're so tough, then you ride
the moped into the chimp enclosure."
489
00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:44,388
And he goes-- [laughs] he go...
[flushes toilet]
490
00:21:46,557 --> 00:21:49,476
[wheezing]
Mr. President!
491
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:55,023
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪
492
00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:01,530
- TOBERT: Thank you.
- Uh-- Give those back.
493
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:05,033
- What's this?
- Dr. Hiram Camareri.
494
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:07,244
- Dr. C, I presume?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
495
00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:10,330
Come on, Jonathan. You know we just saw
you with Ben's doctor last night.
496
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,210
Alright. Fine.
497
00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:19,506
I've been really anxious
498
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,717
since taking over Ben's part.
499
00:22:21,717 --> 00:22:24,178
It's a lot of pressure being the lead.
500
00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:27,181
So I asked Dr. C for some help.
He could get Ben anything he wanted.
501
00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:31,018
So he gave me the "leading man cocktail."
502
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:34,605
It's a mix of beta blockers,
Propecia, HGH,
503
00:22:34,605 --> 00:22:37,107
and just a dash of methamphetamine.
504
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,444
All the same things Ben was taking.
505
00:22:40,444 --> 00:22:43,197
So you didn't wanna be the lead.
506
00:22:43,197 --> 00:22:44,448
No.
507
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:47,576
And please don't tell Howard.
508
00:22:47,576 --> 00:22:49,620
He wouldn't understand.
509
00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:51,163
It's his dream,
510
00:22:51,163 --> 00:22:54,249
but he has no idea what it's like
511
00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:57,753
to carry the weight of
an entire show on your shoulders.
512
00:22:59,505 --> 00:23:02,090
♪ somber music playing ♪
513
00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:07,262
[Tobert sighs]
514
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:15,354
[sobs] Everybody knows you don't
take a fish in the theater, you idiot!
515
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:18,315
Oh jeez!
516
00:23:18,315 --> 00:23:19,816
[water bubbling]
517
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:22,319
[light splashing]
518
00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:29,076
President McKinley! Oh!
519
00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:30,577
Ho! Ho! Ho!
520
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:34,122
I saved you from your second
assassination attempt.
521
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,792
This is the universe telling us
that no matter what kind of hardships,
522
00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,127
we-- Wait. Is that an intercom?
523
00:23:39,127 --> 00:23:41,129
Hello? This is Charles.
[clicks, whirs]
524
00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:43,757
This-- I'm in the-- Can you hear me?
I'm in the prop room!
525
00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:44,842
[hissing]
526
00:23:44,842 --> 00:23:46,093
Hey!
527
00:23:46,093 --> 00:23:49,096
♪
528
00:23:49,096 --> 00:23:50,597
[clicking]
529
00:23:54,351 --> 00:23:56,228
Ah! Ah! Ah--
530
00:23:56,228 --> 00:23:58,981
[coughing]
531
00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:01,149
[laughing]
532
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:03,485
Hey, w-we got a smoke issue!
533
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:04,444
[buzzing]
534
00:24:06,405 --> 00:24:10,367
Now, at half hour
on the night in question,
535
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:14,955
I saw Braids Lady
536
00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:18,125
jawboning with Mr. Movie Star Man
537
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:20,836
while they were rehearsing
their big fight scene
538
00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:23,172
on the steps of the lighthouse.
539
00:24:23,839 --> 00:24:25,632
Something set her off.
540
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,010
Probably Movie Man
taking the stage-choking
541
00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:29,803
a scooch too far.
542
00:24:29,803 --> 00:24:33,056
He gets rough, so she gets in his face
543
00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:35,809
and calls him, and I quote,
544
00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:39,438
a "Cocksucking ding-dong."
545
00:24:39,438 --> 00:24:40,856
That doesn't sound like her.
546
00:24:40,856 --> 00:24:44,693
I'm up in the rafters.
I'm only getting every third word.
547
00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:48,030
It could have been "fucking pig."
548
00:24:48,572 --> 00:24:50,824
Anyway, now,
549
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:52,993
the Albino Fella comes along.
550
00:24:52,993 --> 00:24:54,536
You mean Charles?
551
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:57,247
The has-been with the hair, yeah.
552
00:24:57,247 --> 00:24:59,666
He comes right in
the middle of all of this
553
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,710
and clocks Mr. Movie Star
554
00:25:01,710 --> 00:25:04,379
right in the kisser.
555
00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:05,547
Blammo!
556
00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:07,674
Charles punched Ben?
557
00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:10,844
You didn't know any of this?
558
00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:14,556
♪
559
00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:16,308
Are you sure this'll work?
560
00:25:16,308 --> 00:25:18,894
It's worked 42 times before.
561
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:22,356
And this is the actual monologue
Gideon was giving the moment he died?
562
00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,734
Yep. Now, call him to the stage.
563
00:25:29,154 --> 00:25:30,239
Gideon, are you there?
564
00:25:30,239 --> 00:25:32,407
Oh, come on! Use your stage voice!
565
00:25:32,407 --> 00:25:34,910
[echoing]:
Sing out, Louise!
566
00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:36,411
[sighs]
567
00:25:37,329 --> 00:25:40,791
- [yelling] Oh, Gideon.
- [projecting] Your stage voice!
568
00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:42,668
[deep stage voice]
Oh, Gideon!
569
00:25:42,668 --> 00:25:46,421
We come not to banish but to praise you!
570
00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:49,007
Join us so we may finish
571
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:52,302
your great unfinished work!
572
00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:54,805
- Don't forget to direct me. [clears throat]
- Oh. Okay.
573
00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:58,308
[Howard clears throat]
574
00:25:58,851 --> 00:26:01,937
"Oh, Irene, how could a poor sweep like me
575
00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:05,440
ever hope to win the love of
a fine lady like yourself?"
576
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,818
- It's a strong start.
- Thanks.
577
00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:10,696
[recording beep]
CHARLES: If you are seeing this video,
578
00:26:10,696 --> 00:26:12,698
it means that I am dead.
579
00:26:12,698 --> 00:26:14,074
I perished alone
580
00:26:14,074 --> 00:26:17,077
with only a fish as my witness.
581
00:26:17,786 --> 00:26:19,746
Now, I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, "Charles,
582
00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:21,665
why didn't you scream?" Well, I did!
583
00:26:21,665 --> 00:26:23,709
"Why didn't you call somebody
on your phone?"
584
00:26:23,709 --> 00:26:26,628
Because I'm in a closet with no bars!
585
00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,298
"Why didn't you use your jimmy keys?"
586
00:26:29,298 --> 00:26:30,924
Jimmy keys?
587
00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:36,471
Hello, baby.
588
00:26:36,889 --> 00:26:38,891
What do we really know?
[sizzling]
589
00:26:38,891 --> 00:26:40,726
Loretta hated Ben.
590
00:26:40,726 --> 00:26:42,352
She was violent towards Ben.
591
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:44,605
She had a motive
and opportunity to kill Ben.
592
00:26:44,605 --> 00:26:47,900
But, does that make her
a murderer or just...
593
00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:49,943
quirky?
594
00:26:52,613 --> 00:26:54,823
God, I'm screwed, aren't I?
595
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:59,244
Oliver, how far do you and I go back?
596
00:26:59,244 --> 00:27:01,747
All the way back
to our original hairlines.
597
00:27:01,747 --> 00:27:06,585
All the way back to the dawn
of off-off-off-Broadway.
598
00:27:06,585 --> 00:27:10,172
And back then,
you told me the key to directing.
599
00:27:10,172 --> 00:27:11,673
Yes, I remember.
600
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:13,926
- Remind me.
- You said,
601
00:27:13,926 --> 00:27:17,012
"The only wrong choice is no choice.
602
00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:18,764
Indecision is death."
603
00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:23,101
I said that?
Jesus, it's so bleak.
604
00:27:23,101 --> 00:27:25,270
You are not a young man, Oliver.
605
00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:27,606
You said so yourself.
606
00:27:27,606 --> 00:27:30,901
It's time to shit or get off the bucket.
607
00:27:30,901 --> 00:27:33,529
Choose what matters to you
608
00:27:33,529 --> 00:27:37,491
and then do
whatever you have to do to get it.
609
00:27:38,242 --> 00:27:39,993
Or you'll end up like me.
610
00:27:39,993 --> 00:27:42,454
Neither behind the scene or on stage.
611
00:27:42,454 --> 00:27:44,706
More dead than alive.
612
00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:46,959
♪
613
00:27:46,959 --> 00:27:49,378
Thanks, Jer. I know what I have to do.
614
00:27:49,378 --> 00:27:52,047
Oliver, you won't tell
anyone I'm here, right?
615
00:27:52,047 --> 00:27:54,049
I won't tell. But...
616
00:27:54,842 --> 00:27:56,969
you should really go home to Marshall.
617
00:27:56,969 --> 00:27:58,762
And eat his food?
618
00:28:00,389 --> 00:28:02,391
[Oliver sighs, grunts]
619
00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:06,186
- [door shuts]
- So Ben was on all of those drugs.
620
00:28:06,186 --> 00:28:09,398
Well, when Jonathan said
the cocktail had a dash of meth,
621
00:28:09,398 --> 00:28:11,358
why didn't that show up in his autopsy?
622
00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:14,069
- [loud bang]
- Oh! Oh, thank God!
623
00:28:14,069 --> 00:28:15,362
[wheezes]
624
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:16,864
MABEL:
Charles?!
625
00:28:17,531 --> 00:28:19,074
- Mother?
- Charles!
626
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:21,368
Oh! Mabel! I was trapped.
627
00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:24,288
Years went by! Do I have a beard?
Is SNL still on?
628
00:28:24,663 --> 00:28:26,748
You were gone for 20 minutes.
629
00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:29,334
Oh, well, I-I'm parched and I'm weak.
630
00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:31,503
You know what, let me see
if I can find you some electrolytes.
631
00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:33,881
Thank you!
Finally, someone's thinking about me!
632
00:28:33,881 --> 00:28:36,049
Thank you, Tobert!
633
00:28:36,049 --> 00:28:38,719
Did you ask him to come down here?
Are we partnering with him now?
634
00:28:38,719 --> 00:28:41,471
[sighs] He came here on his own
to follow a lead,
635
00:28:41,471 --> 00:28:44,474
like investigators do
in an investigation.
636
00:28:44,474 --> 00:28:47,436
Oh, I'm sorry, but who left who
to die in a fog closet?
637
00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:48,729
Who left...
638
00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:52,065
I swear, you and Oliver
are working my last nerve today.
639
00:28:52,065 --> 00:28:54,735
Really? Where is Oliver?
640
00:28:55,485 --> 00:28:56,486
Hey!
641
00:28:56,486 --> 00:28:58,864
♪ intense music playing ♪
642
00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:01,658
"When I think of you
giving your heart to another,
643
00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:04,578
I die a thousand deaths."
644
00:29:04,578 --> 00:29:07,831
- Bigger!
- [bigger] "A thousand deaths!"
645
00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,625
Yes, it's working! Okay, pace it up!
646
00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:12,085
[rapidly] "I'll never rest until we're
together as we were meant to be."
647
00:29:12,085 --> 00:29:13,962
Yes! Feel him inside you!
[buzzing]
648
00:29:13,962 --> 00:29:16,673
[echoing]
Gideon!
649
00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:19,301
Gideon is with us! [laughs]
650
00:29:20,844 --> 00:29:22,971
Oliver, stop! What are you doing?!
651
00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:24,932
- I'm making a choice.
- That's evidence!
652
00:29:24,932 --> 00:29:28,602
This isn't a crime scene anymore, Mabel.
The police got their guy.
653
00:29:28,602 --> 00:29:29,895
It's a dressing room.
654
00:29:29,895 --> 00:29:32,564
And since we're coming in here tomorrow
for rehearsal, it needs to be cleaned.
655
00:29:32,564 --> 00:29:34,066
Oliver, you're crossing a line.
656
00:29:34,066 --> 00:29:35,817
Oh, I'm crossing a line?
657
00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:39,196
This from the guy who punched Ben Glenroy
on the night of the murder
658
00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:41,573
and conveniently forgot
to tell us about it.
659
00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:43,242
You what? You punched Ben?
660
00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:45,619
Because he attacked Loretta
and I told him to stay away from her.
661
00:29:45,619 --> 00:29:46,995
But the real question is,
662
00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:49,164
why is your production so out of control
663
00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:51,750
that your actors are beating
each other up on opening night?
664
00:29:51,750 --> 00:29:53,377
Oh, this is my fault, is it?
665
00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:56,380
Well, you're the director.
Someone has to be responsible for the fact
666
00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:57,840
that your show is a death trap.
667
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,092
Today alone, I almost died three times.
668
00:30:01,927 --> 00:30:04,930
- What?
- Two sandbags and a killer fog.
669
00:30:04,930 --> 00:30:07,057
Well, I'm so, so sorry
for trying to breathe life
670
00:30:07,057 --> 00:30:09,768
into your dead career
by putting you on Broadway.
671
00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:12,437
My career was not dead.
672
00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:15,649
Did you know that Brazzos
wanted to do burrito-sodes?
673
00:30:17,359 --> 00:30:19,945
Thirty-second bonus episodes
available exclusively
674
00:30:19,945 --> 00:30:23,156
on the Chipotle app but I said no
because I wanted to do this
675
00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:25,534
which I realize now was a huge mistake!
676
00:30:25,534 --> 00:30:27,202
Oh, it was, huh? Well maybe,
677
00:30:27,202 --> 00:30:30,038
I should have hired someone
who could actually sing!
678
00:30:30,038 --> 00:30:33,250
Well, maybe you should have
because I quit.
679
00:30:33,250 --> 00:30:34,501
- Fine!
- Fine!
680
00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:35,544
MABEL:
Charles!
681
00:30:36,170 --> 00:30:38,755
Why didn't you tell me
what happened with Ben on opening night?
682
00:30:38,755 --> 00:30:41,967
Because she was his girlfriend
and I was trying to protect him
683
00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:44,136
[stammering] 'cause he's my buddy!
684
00:30:45,053 --> 00:30:46,680
Was.
MABEL: Wait,
685
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,725
Loretta's a part of this, too?
What else is she keeping from us?
686
00:30:49,725 --> 00:30:53,145
I don't know
and, frankly, I don't care.
687
00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:55,230
Oliver, what the fuck are you doing?!
688
00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:57,941
You know, you are like
a dog with a bone, Mabel.
689
00:30:57,941 --> 00:31:00,944
They arrested someone
for Ben's murder, remember?
690
00:31:00,944 --> 00:31:04,239
And yet, you keep trying to
throw suspicion onto my cast.
691
00:31:04,239 --> 00:31:06,491
You know, I know you've never
had a grownup job before
692
00:31:06,491 --> 00:31:08,619
but guess what?
They matter.
693
00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:11,788
- Wow.
- Oliver.
694
00:31:11,788 --> 00:31:14,124
In a few weeks, Loretta goes on to star
695
00:31:14,124 --> 00:31:16,752
in Death Rattle Dazzle,
and I finally get
696
00:31:16,752 --> 00:31:18,629
what I've been working for my whole life.
697
00:31:18,629 --> 00:31:20,506
I won't let you jeopardize that!
698
00:31:21,381 --> 00:31:22,591
Cinda was right.
699
00:31:22,591 --> 00:31:24,343
- What does that mean?
- Cinda Canning?
700
00:31:24,343 --> 00:31:27,763
Cinda fucking Canning
asked me to partner with her
701
00:31:27,763 --> 00:31:30,599
and I said that I was
already part of a team.
702
00:31:30,599 --> 00:31:32,518
She said that I don't need you guys
703
00:31:32,518 --> 00:31:35,145
and I'm starting to see that she's right.
704
00:31:35,145 --> 00:31:39,316
All I do is put up
with your self-involved insanity!
705
00:31:39,316 --> 00:31:42,611
The musical, the White Room, the proposal,
706
00:31:42,611 --> 00:31:45,155
but a man is dead!
707
00:31:45,155 --> 00:31:48,075
A man who actually meant something to me!
708
00:31:48,075 --> 00:31:49,785
And I'm gonna figure out who did it
709
00:31:49,785 --> 00:31:53,205
whether the two of you
give a shit or not! I'm done!
710
00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:56,208
♪ melancholy music playing ♪
711
00:32:00,379 --> 00:32:01,380
[sighs]
712
00:32:03,340 --> 00:32:04,883
HOWARD:
Sometimes,
713
00:32:04,883 --> 00:32:07,386
all you need to banish your ghosts...
714
00:32:07,386 --> 00:32:09,096
[wind blowing]
715
00:32:09,096 --> 00:32:10,681
is for someone to see you...
716
00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:12,975
Bravo!
717
00:32:12,975 --> 00:32:15,435
[birds chirping]
718
00:32:17,437 --> 00:32:20,023
HOWARD:
...and understand your dreams.
719
00:32:29,575 --> 00:32:32,578
[aquarium bubbling]
720
00:32:35,998 --> 00:32:38,000
It's only when you're alone...
721
00:32:42,004 --> 00:32:44,006
that the real haunting begins.
722
00:32:50,512 --> 00:32:52,514
[sizzling]
723
00:32:53,849 --> 00:32:55,142
[curtains slide]
724
00:32:57,019 --> 00:33:00,022
♪