♪
- This is Dickie.
He's not just my manager, he's also my brother.
- Hands up! - I didn't do anything.
- I think the police have the wrong guy.
If Gregg had Ben's handkerchief,
then whose handkerchief was Ben holding when he died?
Only two other men have seen this before.
- Did you record with him for our podcast? - No!
CHARLES: We just have to be careful
who we get involved with.
OLIVER: That phrase you used. "Fucking pig."
- [scoffs] I did call him that.
- Loretta hated Ben. She was violent towards Ben.
Does that make her a murderer
or just... quirky?
- Oliver, what the fuck are you doing!?
- You keep trying to throw suspicion onto my cast.
In a few weeks, I finally get what I've been working for my whole life!
- Your show is a death trap!
- Well, maybe I should have hired someone who could actually sing!
- I quit! - And I'm gonna figure out who did it,
whether the two of you give a shit or not! I'm done!
♪ gentle music playing ♪
[ambient street noise]
[car honks]
[quiet street chatter]
UMA: Believe it or not, I love people.
Some people. - Oh, wait.
I have something to show you. UMA: What?
Oh, you didn't.
- I did! - Don't tell-- Oy...
Every schmuck is getting one. [laughing]
I don't even know what they are.
I just don't always trust them.
-Ooh! -Thank you.
WAITER: Enjoy.
♪
[both laugh]
They have a bad habit of leaving.
[elevator dings]
LESTER: Hey, Uma, new haircut?
- Keep it in your pants, perv.
Things, though.
Things I trust. [cat meows]
[Howard yodeling] Things are made to last.
From place to place.
From generation to generation. [meowing continues]
♪
[lights click] It's why I take stuff and keep it,
so the people can stay with me.
If that makes me a klepto, so be it.
Because when the people we love are gone
and memories fade,
what the hell else keeps them alive?
[elevator dings]
[yelling]
[crash] [all scream]
You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
[Oliver growls]
♪ lively theme song playing ♪
♪ vocalizing ♪
[bell dings] CHEF: Order up!
[door opens, bell jingles]
[soft diner chatter] [door shuts]
[clears throat]
Sit by the aisle.
Makes the table seem smaller.
Thank you.
Don't even think about it.
- I wasn't. I'm reading. By myself.
Catching up on my reading.
- Bunny and I always used to split it.
We came here every week, until you idiots killed her.
- We didn't kill Bunny.
- Pretty jumpy for someone who didn't kill my best friend.
So where are your friends? Murder them, too?
So, what happened with you guys, anyway?
- I quit the musical.
- Ha! You got shit-canned!
- It was ruining my life.
My engagement, my sanity,
my relationship with President McKinley.
President McKinley is a fish.
- The suspense was killing me.
- You know, a real friend would've cared, but Oliver only cares about his show.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
It's tough to lose friends at our age.
- Oh, I'm sure it is at your age.
But at mine?
Besides, I didn't lose them. They'll be back.
- Well, good thing you've got plenty of time to wait.
At your age.
I always used to say there were three types of people.
Alive, dead, and dead to me.
Bunny was dead to me a lot.
Not once did she apologize when we fought.
- So, what, you apologized?
- Me? Fuck no! What did I do?
Time passes, you forget what you're fighting about.
[sighs] Thank God she wasn't dead to me when she actually died.
- Oliver and Mabel aren't gonna die.
In fact, any second now, they're gonna reach out and apologize.
[ Angel In Flip-Flops ringtone plays]
Ha, ha!
[ringtone stops] Hey!
Yes, this is he.
I thought I was already a friend of the Philharmonic.
[Uma snickers]
I'm sorry, this is-- this is a bad time.
They'll call.
- Thanks for breakfast.
- Hey! Is that...
- Oh. Well, he wasn't gonna use it.
- He? Is that the hanky Ben was holding the night that he...
♪
Geez, how much did you order? - I got lunch and dinner.
[door opens, bell jingles]
[door shuts]
- Thanks again for helping.
[sighs]
- Yeah, well...
I've been too obsessed with...
How do you sign "murder"?
- I don't need them.
I'm the only one that cares about this case.
I just...
I just need to talk to someone
who can help me get closer to what happened.
♪
- Do you know Dickie?
[Theo sighs]
[giggles]
♪ jaunty piano tune playing ♪
- [singing slowly] ♪ Which of the... ♪ [piano slows tempo]
♪ Pickwick ♪
♪ Tri... ♪
♪ Plets ♪
- Okay.
It's a patter song.
So if you can bring a little more patter-pep-up.
- This is as... pattery as I get.
[sighs]
- Okay, thank you! Thanks. [chuckles] We'll let you know.
- Everyone stinks!
Where are the decent actors? Why are they being kept from me?
- I feel like we're working off old lists!
Like ancient crusty lists!
[grunting, crying]
- Cliff, darling, please!
You know how upsetting it is for me when you stress dance!
- It's these ping-ponging pressures of producing!
How do you do it? If it's not one thing, it's a goddamn other,
and sometimes I feel like I don't have a single good--
Oh, wait. I have an idea.
- Hurrah.
But run it by Mommy first in case it's a stinker.
- I'm gonna go make a call.
[Oliver sighs]
- Oliver, we had someone...
decent playing the constable,
and I know you two had a spat, but--
- I am not calling Charles, Donna!
He quit.
And I have far too much integrity to beg him to come back.
- Counterpoint, you have no integrity,
and this is the perfect time to make use of that.
- Well, that's a fair counterpoint.
- We're almost to reopening.
It's time to pull out all the stops!
Cliff and I have been out there, trying to rev people up
about this mad genius musical redo of yours,
but they do ask who's in it.
And Charles was our only name.
- That's being generous.
Look, look.
Charles was wrong for the part. End of story.
I mean, did he have a certain Ebenezer's younger cousin affability? Sure.
Was he good for the odd laugh?
Maybe. We had fun.
But this isn't about fun.
Charles was not committed to our show
and I will take passion over talent any day.
So, come on, who's next?
Who's this guy? [piano restarts]
- ♪ Who? Who? Who? Well ♪
♪ I... pick... ♪
[off-key] ♪ You! ♪
♪ piano stops ♪
[panting]
Uh, sorry, is he okay?
- That's what he does when he loves it.
Thank you for coming in.
[text notification chimes]
[gasps]
- My guy came through.
I knew it!
My guy is on his way!
- [grunts] Who is your guy?
The ringer from your middle school play?
Some less famous offspring of Marc Platt?
♪
[snorts]
Sweet mother of Sondheim!
[elevator dings]
[clears throat]
♪ men vocalizing quietly ♪
- ♪ Which triplet-- ♪
- Oh, good luck, man.
That Putnam guy's a monster.
- Oliver? He's no...
He's already recasting?
♪ muffled jaunty piano ♪
♪ volume increases ♪
- ♪ Which of the Pickwick triplets did it? ♪
♪ Which of the spawn had the brawn to kill? ♪
♪ Will a baby get tried for matricide? ♪
♪ Coochie-coochie-coo, time for you and you and you to admit it ♪
♪ So, quick as a whip, gotta pick ♪
♪ Which Pickwick triplet did it ♪
- Ah! Matthew Broderick! [Cliff laughing]
I've had sex dreams about this moment!
How did you already nail that song?
- What can I say? I'm a vessel.
- Yes! Say more! Or less. Or just...
keep standing there so I can soak this in!
Matthew Broderick, Broadway legend!
I-I can't believe you're gonna be in my show.
Cliff, how did you pull this off?
- Oh, MB and I met years ago
while sheltering during Superstorm Sandy.
OLIVER: Ah. MATTHEW: Scary time.
Two weeks at the Ritz Carlton,
almost no room service. - Ugh.
- But we survived and now we're friends for life.
When Cliff called, I just dropped everything.
- Nice work, sweetie.
And Matthew... Matthew!
Well, this is what we needed all along.
A true stage veteran.
Enough with these fussy film and TV franchise phony-baloneys.
- Charles-Haden Savage? - Exactly.
- No, I mean Charles-Haden Savage.
[doorbell chimes] - Oh, Charles!
I see you lurking in that way you do,
making sure everyone knows you're here.
- [laughs] No, no.
Uh, Lester wanted to check all the doorbells in the building,
and I wasn't doing anything. I told him I'd do it for him.
And this one, this one's working. [ringing]
- Oh, well, then you can move along now.
Unless you'd like to meet your replacement.
- Oh, no, no, we know each other.
- Yes, we do.
This is not the first time Matthew has swooped in
and stolen a role from me. - For the millionth time,
you would not have been a good Ferris Bueller.
You were 41.
Can we get back to work, please? I'm not sure
that I've totally got this song. - Oh, oh, oh.
♪ Which of the Pickwick triplets did it? ♪
♪ Who of the crew would commit this crime? ♪
♪ Might a little brat make a mommy go splat? ♪
♪ It's a story pretty gory for a nursery rhyme ♪
Oh, I do. I have it. I got it.
- Yeah, he's got it.
♪
- Charles... MATTHEW: Oliver.
Oliver, I'd really like to try one of those
blue raspberry Gut Milks I saw in your fridge.
Split one with me? - Oh, sure. Yeah.
[elevator dings]
♪ quiet movie score playing ♪
- What?
- Wow.
People really love this dumb superhero movie.
Isn't it just a snake that fights crime?
[sighs]
- Shedding labels?
- [laughs] Okay, I understood maybe half of what you said,
but it is clear that you are a giant nerd.
[giggles]
- Mabel, right? Oliver's friend.
Didn't peg you as a CoBro fan.
- Oh. [scoffs] Yeah, huge.
I just love how it's about...
♪ CoBro music continues ♪
shedding labels. Mm.
DICKIE: Wow, that's... insightful. MABEL: Mm.
- Which of the movies is your favorite?
- Uh... CoBro 2?
The Return of...
the Whip Lord.
- Yeah. That's a good one. - Yeah.
- Hasn't aged real well, though,
because of the, you know...
[laughs] - Right, the... [laughing]
Jamaican accents, I know. [laughs]
- No, the special effects.
- Oh, I, um... [scoffs]
Special effects.
I, uh...
I just wanted to ask you something, if that's okay.
Right before Ben died,
you said he had to take a phone call,
and it seemed serious.
Was that the cops or his doctor?
Because Ben's autopsy said his blood work was clean,
but I started thinking-- - I'm gonna stop you there.
If you came looking for a juicy nugget for your podcast
or maybe a story to sell to the Daily Mail,
you can try somewhere else.
I'm not your guy.
- I-I'm sorry, I didn't-- - God, even after he's dead,
everyone's just trying to make a buck off my brother.
It's fucking gross.
But I guess that's the world we live in.
Hey, excuse me, there's a minimum bid on this of 5K!
- Burt Reynolds was there, Dom DeLuise,
who has a wonderful voice. - Oh, my God.
- And I told Mel Brooks, "Well, what if it was a musical?"
- [gasps] You know, I...
I don't normally enjoy a name drop,
but that was delightful.
- Oliver, I should warn you.
When I commit to a show, I commit fully.
- Oh, I love it.
You would be surprised how often people are half in, half out.
[mocking] "Oh, Oliver, my kids need me."
"Oh, Oliver, my girlfriend left me.
I only have a little fishy left, and I'm afraid of being alone."
[normal] I mean, this is the theater. What else even is there?
- I agree, totally.
So, I-I think I understand the Constable,
but I'm gonna need your help to become the Constable.
- Ah...
- It's part of my process.
When I did War Games, I taught myself to write code.
- Incredible. - For my role in Election,
I started teaching high school and dating some students.
- Okay...
- If the constable has a lisp...
[lisping] I have a lisp.
[normal] If he carries a gun, I carry a gun.
Can you get me a gun?
- Anything you want. When you come back tomorrow,
this is gonna look like Charlton Heston's man-cave.
- Tomorrow? Opening night is in two weeks. We have to rehearse now.
Ferris Bueller may take a day off, but Matthew Broderick?
Matthew Broderick does not.
- Music to my ears, MB!
[glasses clink] [laughs]
[Matthew Broderick singing faintly]
[muffled singing continues]
♪
- ♪ Pick from the Pickwick pricky pricky ♪
[sighs]
- ♪ Who? Who? Who? ♪
♪ Well, I... pick... ♪
♪ You! ♪
♪ piano ends ♪
- Incredible.
38th time's the charm. Don't do it any better than that.
People might think it's an AI.
- Thanks. Thanks, Oliver. Yeah. Yeah. I feel pretty good about it.
- Yeah, c-can't wait to do it all again tomorrow.
- So, Oliver, where's he from?
Where's he from originally, this Constable?
- Oh, he's just-- He's from where you're from,
so we don't have to change anything else. - He's from Manhattan?
Well, slap my ass and call me Mamie!
This changes his entire relationship to his profession.
- It... No. Does it really?
- A kid from Manhattan in the 1890s.
The city roils with ethnic tension.
Irishmen, Prussians.
The era of the bicycle craze,
the horse-drawn trolley.
Yeah, this calls for some rethinking. - No, no, no, it really doesn't. It--
- Uh, back to the piano, please.
[operatic] ♪ Three little babes in their bassinets ♪
Let's see.
♪ Three little babes... ♪
[knocking on door]
- Hi.
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry.
I've lost people, too.
- It's okay.
I shouldn't have taken it all out on you.
- Taken what out on me?
- Just frustration.
My brother has always been my business.
My folks adopted me when they thought they couldn't have kids,
but then they had Ben.
Miracle Ben, child star Ben.
So, I spent my life protecting him.
A guy who, by the way, was always fucking up, you know?
Insensitive jokes, DUIs-- Oh, the dick pics.
The thousands of dick pics.
- I never read anything about the--
- That's 'cause I was there, cleaning up the mess,
making him look good.
But he still gets all the credit. [chuckles]
For everything.
Story of our lives.
The fame, the CoBro franchise, the...
Sorry, I'm, uh...
- Sounds like he was really difficult.
- Uh, yeah.
But, you know,
sometimes I think a person's just a...
collection of a thousand little details.
And when they're gone,
those are the things you miss most.
Ben loved boba,
that disgusting green tea flavor, and...
and funny dog videos on Instagram. [laughs]
He set all his clocks 20 minutes early
so he'd always be fashionably late.
- I'm sorry Ben is gone.
But I think we owe it to your brother to find his real killer.
- We did.
That's the only silver lining, that maniac's locked up.
- I guess I never bought that Gregg was a killer.
- Didn't he chain you and Charles-Haden Savage up in a basement?
- Yeah, but I can't picture him hurting Ben.
I mean, he loved him. And I have this theory about a hanky...
- A hanky? Jesus,
Gregg had been following my brother around for years.
I should have sensed he might turn dangerous,
and when I took my eye off the ball for one second,
he killed my brother.
I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
Gregg was here the night of the murder.
The cops say Ben died at 12:06
and Gregg was seen leaving the Arconia right after that.
You do the math. I'm sorry, Mabel.
There's no story here.
♪
UMA: What, I have to adopt you now?
I know why you're here. You can't have it.
- Look, I know you wanna keep Ben's hanky but it's a clue,
which makes it the perfect peace offering for Oliver and Mabel.
- I thought you were waiting for them to apologize.
- I don't think I can afford to.
I mean, what if I never hear another millennial reference that I don't get,
or another story about dark nights at Plato's Retreat with Buck Henry?
- That doesn't sound so bad.
- That's what I used to think, but I need to make up with them.
- So you're gonna let a hanky solve your problems?
Use your fuckin' words! [keys jingling]
Look, even if I wanted to help,
which I sincerely do not, I don't have it, okay?
- Uh-huh, I saw it in your purse.
- That was three hours ago.
I got some moron to pay me seven grand for it.
Snooze you lose!
- What, you sold it? But I need it!
Mabel thinks it may belong to the killer-- Who'd you sell it to?
- One of those snake dorks upstairs.
Whatever happened to real men?
[sighs]
[door slams] [FaceTime chiming]
- [different intonations] Who? Who? Well! - [quietly] Mel.
When you were putting together The Producers,
which, you know, I-I never did get a chance to see--
- What? You never saw The Producers?
- Well, I was busy at the time.
- It ran for six years! Over 2,500 performances!
And you never got a chance to see it?
- Yeah, well, the times never worked out for me. Anyway,
did you have any problems working with Broderick?
You know, I-I'm working with him on something now, and--
- Oh, my God. You didn't tell him, in any way,
you were open to his ideas, did you?
- Well, I-I-I might have told him he could--
- Oh, Oliver. You're fucked.
[Matthew Broderick singing] [sighs]
♪
- Gregg wasn't here.
Gregg wasn't in the building when Ben was murdered.
- The police said Ben died at 12:06,
but that's because it was the time on Ben's watch
when he fell and it stopped.
Dickie said Ben always set his watch 20 minutes early,
which means he died at 12:26!
Gregg was already gone!
He couldn't have pushed Ben!
- Oh, ha, ha.
- The watch? I knew Ben was always late,
but I never knew it was intentional.
I just thought he was a dick.
- Yeah. Some pretty fancy equipment you have there.
- Right?
Cinda Canning's not the only one with access
to top-notch equipment. [Mabel clears throat]
- When Ben Glenroy died,
Broadway was thrown into chaos.
We'll lift the curtain on Ben's final act
this season on Only Murde--
Guess we're gonna have to change the name.
- I am way ahead of you on that.
The Bloody Mabel Podcast.
Huh? I think it's sexy.
Puts you front and center, which is nice-- - No!
- I mean, it's a terrible idea, but I just thought...
[door shuts] Probably a fan submission.
Oh! Uh, Tobert, Theo. Theo, Tobert.
- Hey, man. Nice to meet you.
Oh, wow, you're the guy from...
Wow, you're an interesting guy.
Mabel's told me a lot about you.
Well, I mean, from listening to the [clears throat] podcast.
I mean, I-I'm a fan, is what I'm saying, so I picked up on...
- What's that?
- He said he liked your poster. Really captured my eyes.
What's up with the flyer?
- Author?
- Oh, B. Glenroy. It's Ben Glenroy.
♪
What, the B is an R? What...
- Yeah, R. Sometimes,
a man's name actually starts with an R. [laughs]
- Okay, so, it's an R.
For what, like Richard...
D-Dickie. Dickie.
- "Story of our lives."
- What?
- Dickie said Ben always got the credit.
And the fame. And the CoBro franchise.
I didn't think anything of it then, but...
- Okay, so, what, CoBro was Dickie's creation, and...
Ben just stole it and made millions off of it?
All the while, Dickie's doing everything for him?
Damn, that's cold.
- That's motive.
♪ music swells ♪
TOBERT: And, just to be clear,
our theory rests entirely on this B being an R?
- We once accused Sting of murder because he doesn't like dogs.
This is actually pretty solid evidence for us.
Let's do some digging.
But, first things first, let's record.
- Yes. - And get you out.
Come on.
MATTHEW: And...
[sniffles] and turn,
twist, ha-- Wait a minute.
Half turn, twist, "I pick you."
[clicks tongue] Would a constable from Nova Scotia point like this, though?
From my research, they were trained to keep their hands low,
by their firearms.
So they would point like this. Never like this.
But this.
I don't know, this feels so false.
- Go home! - Excuse me?
- Go... home.
I've had enough of your inane questions, Matthew Broderick.
Nobody cares what denomination the Constable is
or how he'd finger a mandolin.
The Constable is just the Constable.
His parents didn't name him "Rocky"
or "Lawrence" or "Bernardo."
You know why? - Why?
- Because he doesn't have any parents!
He's just six grams of ink on paper!
A few electrons in my hard disk!
That's it! I could wake up tomorrow,
and I could hit the delete key, and poof!
He'd be gone.
Eradicated from this musical.
Exiled from our reality!
Gone! Like a rat in a microwave!
- Wow. Oh, okay. Well, see you tomorrow morning, 6:00 AM,
Nova Scotia time!
[growling, panting]
- Oh! [laughs]
I'm not lurking. Uh, Lester wanted to inspect the peepholes
because, evidently, some of them had been installed backwards,
so I said, "Well, I'll do it," and he said,
"You know, the good time is 2:00 AM,"
so I-- I'm lying. I just wanted to say...
I'm sorry.
- Oh, apology accepted.
Friendship mended. You're hired.
- No, no! I don't wanna do the show. I just wanna hang out.
- Of course! We'll do that all the time.
Eight shows a week. And Broderick, you're fired.
- Wait a minute! Wait, this guy? I've seen him get out-acted by a horse.
- Maybe he was.
But I'm guessing that horse enjoyed himself on set that day
because he got to spend it with Charles-Haden Savage,
who was probably kind to him
and fed him a fistful of oats out of his palm.
[frantic munching]
And I bet that horse didn't realize how good he had it
until he had another scene partner on another set,
who just rode him! And rode him! And rode him! And rode him!
And rode him! And rode him! And rode him!
Until he couldn't take it anymore! [panting]
And I bet that horse wishes he could say sorry, but he can't.
Not because he's a horse.
Because he's a little messed up emotionally,
so all he can do is hate himself, a-a-and wish he were dead
for hurting his best friend
and that someone would turn him into glue.
- Apology accepted. [overjoyed moan]
Okay! Okay, I'll do the play!
By the way, that horse won a Patsy for that scene.
- What's a Patsy?
- It's an Emmy for horses!
You're still here?
It's over.
Go home. [growling laugh]
♪
Go.
- You know, if you have any adjustments, I'm very flexible.
And I've always found it's best to be hon--
[Oliver sighs]
- I bet you would have made a much better Ferris.
- Do you mean that?
- Oh, I want to.
But he's perfect.
- It's a bit more than just a mic, huh?
- Uh, in terms of software, do you remember what Oliver was using?
You know what? Don't even worry about it. Should be pretty straightforward.
Uh, oh! Do you have a new name for the podcast?
I can punch that in right now.
- You know what? Uh,
I think I'm just gonna record this on my phone, okay?
- Oh, sure.
MABEL: Thank you.
- You solved three murders that way, as you're fond of reminding me.
[Tobert sighs]
[fidgeting with buttons]
♪
[sighs]
- Uma! That sneaky devil nymph!
- Took that hanky right out of Ben's dead hands.
How did we miss that?
- Well, you and Mabel were in hysteria.
I've never seen anything like it.
But, me? How did I miss it?
- Mm. Have you talked to her? [chuckles]
- Mabel? No.
I tried calling. - Really?
- No! She'd hate that.
But I did draft a text. Uh, ended up...
deleting most of it, a-and then...
I accidentally sent her a comma.
Haven't heard back.
I really messed up with her.
What the kids would call an epic fail.
- Why did you erase that mirror?
[sniffs]
- I need to show you something.
I took this from Loretta's apartment.
[Oliver grunts]
[Oliver sighs]
What do you think?
- I don't think she did it. - Oh, my God, that means she's a killer.
- Why? - Oh, please, Charles.
It's not like your instincts on these things are famously good.
- I'm not saying it's not weird.
It's just not evidence of murder.
Hey, if you're worried, why don't you just talk to Loretta?
I wish I'd just talked to Joy.
[sighing]
- Hm... - Hey...
What if we took this
and gave it to Mabel as a peace offering?
- Win her back with a clue.
- Or we could just suck it up and apologize.
[growls]
- Clue first, and then if that doesn't work,
then we grovel.
- Hey.
[glasses clink] [weak laugh]
♪
[knocking on door]
I believe it was Erasmus of Rotterdam... - Mabel, I am sorry for the way Charles
and, to some extent, I behaved. You know-- - ...who described apologies as...
[baby cooing]
WOMAN: Are you the movers? - Movers?
- [sighs] I'm not paying to un-fuck your hernias.
♪
- What? - Huh?
[phones buzz, ding]
MABEL [on podcast]: On a fateful night, four weeks ago,
Hollywood superstar Ben Glenroy died. Twice.
I'll explain that and how the mystery of his murder
is even more complicated than we've been led to believe.
- What?
MABEL [on podcast]: In a rush to keep the public calm,
the police arrested Ben's longtime stalker Gregg Rivera.
But Gregg wasn't even in the building
when Ben was pushed down that elevator shaft.
I believe whoever was in the building that night
was also with Ben hours earlier,
when they tried to poison him
just moments before his Broadway debut.
So, who did kill Ben Glenroy?
Maybe it was someone who had a reason.
Money? Jealousy? Something to prove?
Maybe all of the above.
I'm Mabel Mora.
Join me, flying solo this time,
in the search for answers
on a new season of Only Murders in the Building.
#BloodyMabel.
[phone rings, picks up]
- Yeah, I heard it.
You were right. They're a major pain in the ass.
[sighs]
And it's time to reopen the Glenroy case.
♪ music swells ♪
[cobra hissing]
♪ cinematic theme playing ♪
♪
[cobra rattling, hissing]
[cobra hisses, strikes]
♪