1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,877 [Detective Donna Williams] The Feds are now on the case. 2 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,671 They don't want me involved. The least I can do 3 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,256 is feed you idiots some useful information. 4 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:09,259 A single casing was found in apartment 14F 5 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,886 belonging to a tenant by the name of M. Dudenoff. 6 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,222 [Mabel Mora] Look, there's a footprint on the radiator. 7 00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:15,682 - Come here! Come here! - [crashing] 8 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,600 Ben Glenroy? 9 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,729 [in Irish accent] I'm Glenn Stubbins, Ben's stunt double. 10 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,523 I'm begging ya. Can you help me get a job on your film? 11 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,234 I present to you the Brothers! 12 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:30,113 And when these gals read the fabulous script that Marshall P. Pope wrote... 13 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,365 I-I just tried to get you all down in the right way, you know? 14 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,575 At least how I pictured you. 15 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:36,327 [Eva Longoria] I'm not telling you to sell your life rights, but if you do, 16 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,163 ask them for a shit-ton of money. 17 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,540 [Oliver Putnam] Notice this intruder. A male arm. 18 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,500 And I don't trust its intentions! 19 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,461 [Charles-Haden Savage] Sazz sacrificed everything for me, 20 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,796 and by the time I realized it, it was too late to make it up to her. 21 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,174 Someday, I won't be able to take the hits anymore. 22 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,217 I'm gonna open up a trampoline park. 23 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:54,262 [Mabel] What is this place? A hideout? 24 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,973 Don't move or I'll blow your fucking brains out. 25 00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,058 [overlapping yelps] 26 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,519 [♪ gentle music playing] 27 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,067 [Marshall P. Pope] What makes a writer a real writer? 28 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,322 It starts with the look. 29 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:17,243 A look that says, I'm smart, confident, worldly, 30 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,079 important, but not self-important. 31 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:25,376 I can quote David Foster Wallace and Ace Ventura. 32 00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:28,797 "Alrighty then." 33 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:33,009 It's about convincing the world, and, 34 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:36,054 honestly, yourself, that you have the goods. 35 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,561 But the look only gets you so far. 36 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,276 - [typing] - It comes down to what's on the page. 37 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,989 ♪ 38 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:01,287 And the page has to dazzle, 39 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,082 bright enough that it catches the right person's eye. 40 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,168 ♪ 41 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,759 And then, you get the call. 42 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,012 They're making your movie. 43 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,098 You're a real writer now. 44 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,933 You're convinced the voice in your head, 45 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,185 the one that says you are a fraud, 46 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,979 is finally gonna go away. 47 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,107 Except, it doesn't. 48 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:32,610 And you start to wonder if it [weak laugh] ever will. 49 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,695 [gun cocks] 50 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,114 Don't move or I'll blow your fucking brains out. 51 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,740 The tragedy of it all! 52 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:40,785 Death comes for Oliver Putnam in the prime of his life. 53 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,287 Fine, do it! 54 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:45,373 Extinguish my roaring flame, but spare my friends! 55 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,917 [♪ dramatic crescendo] 56 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,253 Oh, my God, it's you? 57 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,630 Oh, I'm so sorry. 58 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,841 I've just been a little on edge. 59 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,760 I really do not like being this far east of Brentwood. 60 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,637 Do you mind putting the gun down? 61 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,431 Oh, this? It's not loaded. 62 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,808 - [gunshots] - [all yelling] 63 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:06,019 - [clicking] - [screaming] 64 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,646 [Bev sighs] 65 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:12,025 Okay, so I'll be taking that... away... 66 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,735 from you. 67 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,195 Bev, what are you doing here? 68 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,571 And whose gun is that? 69 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,908 It's your dead friend Sazz's, I assume. I found it here in this-- 70 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,534 I-I don't know what you call this place. 71 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,204 A sad... shack. A poverty cottage? 72 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,582 Stop deflecting. Did you kill Sazz? 73 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,543 Ooh, I really like what I'm seeing over here. 74 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,420 Mabel the investigator, 75 00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:35,590 stomping around in your patchwork trench coat, 76 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,218 solving crimes like a millennial Nancy Drew. 77 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,679 - I'm really excited for our movie, guys! - [Charles] Bev. 78 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,139 Did you kill her? 79 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,891 No, I did not. 80 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,852 But I think someone on the movie may have. 81 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,939 [♪ lively theme song playing] 82 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,025 [♪ vocalizing] 83 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,899 [♪ theme song fades out] 84 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,068 [birds cawing] 85 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,529 [Charles] Bev, where were you the night she was killed? 86 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,948 Ooh, I was hoping you would ask! 87 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,410 Well, here's me that night, in LA, 88 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,120 at Variety's Power Women Party 89 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,789 for the 100 Most Powerful Women Under 100. 90 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:53,084 {\an8}It was, of course, at the Power Room. I'm on top of the world. 91 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,836 {\an8}I'm dressed head to toe in Chanel. 92 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,380 Ain't no one gonna fuck with this bitch, you know what I'm saying? 93 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,007 Anyway, Sazz called me. 94 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,967 I didn't pick up 'cause it was a random number, 95 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:04,929 {\an8}but she left me a voicemail, which I thought was interesting. 96 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,139 {\an8}[clicks play button] 97 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,350 {\an8}[Sazz] [on voicemail] Name's Sazz Pataki, and I'm told you're the one to talk to. 98 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:13,062 {\an8}Look, I can't get into this in a message, but you need to call me, okay? 99 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:15,481 {\an8}There's a problem with your Only Murders movie. 100 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:18,109 {\an8}A big problem, and I can't say more than that. 101 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,278 {\an8}11:07. 102 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,697 {\an8}That's right after she left to get the wine. 103 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,407 {\an8}And you didn't call her back? 104 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:27,201 {\an8}- I know you're all new to Hollywood, but-- - [Oliver] New?! 105 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:31,289 {\an8}I'll have you know that I directed Singing in the Rain 2 for VH1 in '88. 106 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,790 Town's still talking about it. 107 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,376 Gary Busey was in it, and he stole all the cameras. 108 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,880 {\an8}Listen, what I'm saying is no one wants to get that call. 109 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,591 {\an8}It's really hard to get a movie made these days, 110 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,634 {\an8}and I just wasn't in the mood to hear about a problem. 111 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,970 {\an8}So I took my good old time getting back to her. 112 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:48,056 Then, the next thing I heard, she was dead. 113 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,557 {\an8}So you're haunted by guilt. 114 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,267 {\an8}But you think everything would be different 115 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,935 {\an8}if you'd just called her back. 116 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,395 Oh, I'm haunted... 117 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,064 by the fear that this movie falls apart. 118 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,815 The stakes are through the roof for me right now. 119 00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:58,983 I passed on Barbie. 120 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,027 I need to find and fix this problem 121 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,945 before it takes down the whole production. 122 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:06,074 So, I came here, and I turned this place inside out, 123 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,410 but all I found were a couple of sketches of trampolines and that gun. 124 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,996 [sighs] Can't believe I did that. 125 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,750 Guns are destroying our entire society. 126 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,419 [sighs] Can I have it back? 127 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,546 - [Oliver snorts] - What? No! 128 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,841 Please! It kinda turned me on. I don't know. 129 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:27,387 I just felt so powerful holding it. [sighs] And I really think my notes 130 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,555 to writers would land better with a gun. 131 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,641 It's "Tighten up act two, guys," 132 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,811 or "Tighten up act two." I mean, which one are you gonna listen to? 133 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,813 Yeah, I think I'm gonna hold on to this. 134 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,106 Fine. 135 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,149 Well, I'm really glad I bumped into you guys. 136 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,527 Investigating murders is exhausting. 137 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,862 But you all seem to enjoy this killer-finding thing, 138 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:47,198 so you find the killer, I save the movie. 139 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,574 How's that for a deal? 140 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,743 [♪ bright music playing] 141 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:53,454 [ambient street noise] 142 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,290 - [Charles] Get ready to be dazzled! - [wheels squeaking] 143 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,253 What do you think? 144 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,256 I think the next time you ask me to rush over here 145 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,966 for a break in the case, 146 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,426 you need to gimme something better than 147 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,969 20-fucking-thousand murder boards, okay? 148 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,137 It's only three! 149 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,390 That's three too fuckin' many, man. What is this? Amateur hour? 150 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,101 May I remind you that these amateurs have thrice bested 151 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,103 the NYPD homicide department. 152 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,646 Now, I think there's something here. 153 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,065 Sazz called Bev Melon 154 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,942 and said that there was a problem on the movie. 155 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,777 And right after that, she was shot. 156 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,697 Ergo, someone on the movie killed Sazz 157 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,032 to keep this problem a secret! 158 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,826 Okay, so if this is such a hot theory, 159 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,578 then where's the rest of your crew to vouch for it? 160 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,621 - [door opens, shuts] - [Oliver] We're here! We're here! 161 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,291 Well, the good people of Page Six have solved it. 162 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,294 The bicep on Loretta's Instagram has been identified. 163 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,378 Wow. 164 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:45,214 [Oliver] It belongs to one Jack Jonk. 165 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:48,968 He has a four-episode arc on Norfbun as Loretta's love interest. 166 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,387 Go ahead, Loretta. You know Jack Jonk, right? 167 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:53,097 - The former Olympic swimmer? - Yeah, I do. 168 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,974 [Detective Williams] So you know what that means, right? 169 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,142 Big-ass arms. 170 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,853 Big-ass legs. 171 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,731 - Big-ass-- - Oh, no, no. [stammers] I think, 172 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,317 to me, he has a perfectly normal physique. 173 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,610 In fact, he reminds me of me 174 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,361 when I was doing the elliptical two times a week. 175 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,030 - [Charles] Mm-hmm. - [Mabel] Sorry, not listening. 176 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,531 Guys, have you seen these checks? 177 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,700 Oh, our life rights checks have landed. 178 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,702 I sent mine to my accountant in Belize. 179 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,412 - Where? - Where, uh, 180 00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,998 my accountant is hiking the Xunantunich Mountains, 181 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,751 and who will return with the check and deposit here, 182 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,378 so I can pay the appropriate American taxes. 183 00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:27,757 I just can't believe they're actually paying us. It's so official. 184 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,718 - That's because we're professionals now. - [Williams groans] 185 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,679 Yeah, we're professionals. I'm a professional... 186 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:35,306 Wait, what do I do? 187 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,642 You do... this. 188 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,229 Well, what is "this" exactly? 189 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,688 God only knows. 190 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:45,691 Well, you... you know, w-we have a podcast, 191 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,818 s-so you are a pod-smith. 192 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:52,073 - A crime-fluencer. - How about podcast producer? 193 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,158 I'm a podcast producer. 194 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,662 I am a podcast producer. 195 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,163 No, but it's more like... 196 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,040 I'm a podcast producer! 197 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,084 Yeah, you don't have to overdo it. You could just say... 198 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,211 [aloof] "Oh, I'm a podcast producer." 199 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,089 [aloof] I'm a podcast producer. 200 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,424 [normal] But why is that so scary to say out loud? 201 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:13,010 Maybe it's 'cause you're a producer on a podcast 202 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:15,638 about a crime that has 40,000 fuckin' suspects. 203 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,140 Not for long. We are headed up to the production office. 204 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:21,352 We are gonna poke around and knock a few more names off these boards. 205 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,188 Okay, great. Sounds good. So, while you guys do that, 206 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:27,483 I'm gonna get some more information on this gun. In the meantime, 207 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,902 tighten it up. You hear me? 208 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:33,197 Fuckin' amateur-- Take this shit off the board! 209 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,449 - Think she was impressed. - [Oliver growls] 210 00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,368 - [elevator dings] - [♪ jaunty music playing] 211 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,204 - [people chattering] - [Trina Brothers] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 212 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,041 - Oh God. I have an idea. - [Trina laughs] 213 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,335 These three should be in the photo shoot, too. 214 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,588 - [Trina gasps] - Why aren't you writing this down? 215 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,548 - [heavy bag dropping] - [Oliver snorts] 216 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:54,218 Oh, [laughs] well, Oliver Putnam does love a photo shoot. 217 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,928 My hair guy is in a home now, 218 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,389 so there's a bit of paperwork involved in getting him out, but-- 219 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,266 Well, what-- What is this photo shoot? 220 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,852 It's marketing for the movie. Ready for the concept? 221 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,395 Full frontal nudity. 222 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:07,648 Two bodies ravaged by time. 223 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,442 And one dewy with promise. 224 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,569 Nobody's doing a naked photo shoot. 225 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,946 Wait, yes! It should be the opposite. 226 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,032 You drowning in your season one outfits. 227 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,116 - Oh... - Did you get that? 228 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,701 Season one outfits. 229 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,828 And the actors in identical looks? 230 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,039 Doubles, illusions. 231 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,332 So cliché. 232 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,042 - [haughty laughter] - [elevator dings] 233 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,545 - Don't be late. - [case wheels squeaking] 234 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,676 Hey, Oliver! [gasps] 235 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,262 I saw Page Six today. Oh, my God. 236 00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:40,473 Sounds like your girlfriend's about to get Jonked. 237 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,683 I'd prefer if you didn't put it that way. 238 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,352 Well, you gotta tell her though, 239 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,480 'cause it's best to line up a good orthopedic surgeon now. 240 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,565 'Cause she's gonna need a big hip replacement 241 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,442 after he drops that Jonk on her. 242 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,985 I'm sorry, you've used "Jonk" 243 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,738 as both a noun and a verb in the span of 10 seconds. 244 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,699 Well, it can be both. "The Jonk jonked my jonk till I jonked," 245 00:10:58,699 --> 00:10:59,784 is a valid sentence. 246 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,704 Well, he and I don't sound that different. 247 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:04,955 Both body guys. 248 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,248 - You know, love protein. - Mm. 249 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,793 In fact, a lotta people don't know this, but I-I myself 250 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,128 - went through a steroids phase. - Hm. 251 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,255 Prednisone for my sinus infections. 252 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,632 [Bev Melon] Hm... 253 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,342 That's so interesting. 254 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,011 It's funny 'cause you don't strike me as someone who would, like, 255 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,429 "care for their body." 256 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,431 Excuse me. I need to go find someone. 257 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,767 Actually, uh, uh, uh, I-I-I'm known 258 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:28,396 as a bit of a Herculean figure in the, uh, theater community. 259 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,940 Usually picked second for softball, 260 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,650 right after the lesbian stage manager. 261 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,485 And I don't wanna brag, but, uh, 262 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:38,489 I've been asked to be a pallbearer. Many times. 263 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,616 - [elevator dings] - [doors open] 264 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,451 - [production office chatter] - [phones ringing] 265 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:43,536 - [sticking] - Ooh. 266 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,956 What is this I'm standing on? It feels like fly paper. 267 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,041 It's a tacky mat. Production thing. 268 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,668 I work here now, know all the words. 269 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,003 "Comtex." "Gobo tweeny up and over." 270 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:54,797 "Grip." I can continue. 271 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,383 - I can't. - It gets the dust off your shoes 272 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,510 so you don't track anything into the sisters' nest. 273 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,928 It's a kick-off gift from Eva. 274 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,888 She has a full line of sticky products. 275 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:06,392 Boob tape, wound glue. She's huge in adhesives. 276 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,936 Anyway, that's a wrap on me! 277 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,689 I gotta go martini two-shot that best boy. [clicks tongue] 278 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,610 - This is a lot of suspects. - [sticking] 279 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,405 What'd Detective Williams call us? Amateurs? 280 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,074 Ama-- If that's even the word she used. I can't remember. 281 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,827 - It was amateurs. - Yeah? 282 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,955 Well, would an amateur pretend to be making a call 283 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:31,083 while secretly taking photos for our murder board? 284 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,043 - Oh, yes! Uh... - [loud shutter snapping] 285 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:36,547 - ...yes, I can hold. Yes, I'll wait. Oh! - [♪ jaunty music playing] 286 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:39,049 Yes, it's me, Martha! Hi! How are-- 287 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:42,720 - I just wanna order those nachos. Uh, na-- - [shutter snapping continues] 288 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,306 Do you want nachos? You don't? You don't want them? 289 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:48,184 Can you put some, uh, papa de gallo... 290 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,479 - [mutters] Pico de gallo. - Paca de-- Pico de gallo on that for me? 291 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,814 - Oh, look at this. That's so interesting. - [shutter snapping] 292 00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,191 Good work. Good work, everyone. 293 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,443 Yeah, that's fantastic. 294 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,779 I really hope the camera's pointing the right way. 295 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,364 - Oh, shoot. - [clicking] 296 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,866 [whispers] Okay, here we go. 297 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,410 - [normal] Yeah. Uh-huh? - [shutter snapping] 298 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,912 Well, that's interesting! Yes! 299 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,414 - [shutter snapping continues] - Yes, I can hold, Martha. 300 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,959 [whispers] How are we supposed to tell if one of these people is the murderer? 301 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,045 I guess we look for someone who gets nervous 302 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,922 when they see us poking around. 303 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,674 Like him. 304 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,468 [thuds] 305 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,848 - [button clicking] - [♪ curious music playing] 306 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,183 Marshall, right? 307 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,935 We need to talk with you. 308 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,020 Oh shit, it's the whole trio. 309 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,356 Uh, fine. L-L-Let's do it. 310 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:39,026 We have a few questions about Sazz Pataki. Did you happen to see-- 311 00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,570 Wait, I'm a suspect? 312 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,614 Oh, thank God. 313 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:46,575 Sorry, I-I thought you wanted to give me more notes on the script. 314 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,870 It's just you're producers-- co-associate producers-- 315 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:53,123 and everyone's been hounding me about rewrites, and I figured you... 316 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,875 [ragged breathing] But no, I'm... 317 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,545 I'm just a suspect. [nervous laugh] 318 00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,004 Um, okay, great. So, 319 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,341 ask me where I was the night Sazz got murdered. 320 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,051 - Not here. - [shutter snaps] 321 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,678 - Let's talk at my place. - [elevator dings] 322 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,515 - [gasps] Mabel! Hey! Hi! - Hey, hi, hi. 323 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,600 I just went down to the lobby to look for you. 324 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,311 Can you hang back and talk with me for a second? 325 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:17,565 Come sit down with me. Let's see if we can pass the Bechdel test. 326 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,025 [ropes creak] 327 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:23,153 Oh, by the way, the checks landed. What are we gonna splurge on? 328 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,573 Oh, I'm probably gonna sink mine into my business. 329 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,784 I'm... a... podcast producer. 330 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,870 Yeah. And I oversee a few-- 331 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,038 a bunch of projects. 332 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:35,541 I'm sure you have a million irons in the fire, 333 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,543 but I do happen to be looking for 334 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:41,714 a hot new podcast to adapt for my next movie. So what have you got? 335 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,259 Oh! Um, I have lots of ideas. 336 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,803 You know, they're just not fully baked. 337 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,346 Mabel, nobody needs fully baked. 338 00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,181 All you need is a hook. 339 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:54,602 So what's your next podcast? Go on. Hook me. 340 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,354 - Like, now? - Yeah, now. Why not? 341 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,148 Uh-- Um-- The-- 342 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,400 The first one is about... 343 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,735 people. 344 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,154 Tall people, short people, 345 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,615 all different-sized people. 346 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,782 Hm. 347 00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,285 And, uh, there's, uh, 348 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:14,663 another one about buttons... 349 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:18,334 being pushed... because of... trauma. 350 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,210 Ooh, I like that. 351 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,963 You know what? Forget it. None of these are really anything. 352 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:26,800 Mabel, do you want the advice of a senior VP? 353 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,094 These ideas are fantastic! 354 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,721 They're relatable. 355 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,723 I mean, come on. Who hasn't dealt with 356 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,433 people and buttons? 357 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,518 You know what? I saw it in the shed. 358 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:39,104 I said, "The gal under 80, 359 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,273 she's the one you wanna bet on long-term." 360 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,025 So, you know what? I'm calling Billy Billberg. 361 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,319 He heads up the podcast division of our corporation. 362 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:47,196 I can already see the potential! 363 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,657 Building brands, spreading trends 364 00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,534 make that Gen Z get off their asses and listen. 365 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:53,702 Okay, so here's the plan. 366 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,246 [snaps fingers] You're gonna flesh out these ideas, 367 00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:59,917 and I'm gonna set you up on a meeting ASAP. 368 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,586 Oh, uh, uh, no, I'm not sure about my schedule. 369 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,546 [gibberish] I don't wanna hear it. 370 00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:07,675 Shh. I don't wanna hear anything. Mabel, listen to me. 371 00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,719 They're not buying the idea as much as they're buying you, 372 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,889 so don't stress. Case closed. [pop] We're doing it. 373 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,307 - Uh-- - [elevator dings] 374 00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:18,894 [♪ rhythmic knocking on door] 375 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,691 - [stops knocking] - Ah-ha! It's me favorite trio! 376 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,736 - Ah, when'd you grow the beard, lassie? - That's not Mabel. 377 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:32,741 Oh, well, um-- I's just leaving you dis gift. 378 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:33,993 - Oh. Mm. - There you go, Chuck. 379 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,411 It's me old gran's soda bread. 380 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,831 [sighs] Dropped your name. Got meself a gig on the film. 381 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,958 Just odd jobs for now, 382 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,336 but I'll be, uh, doublin' for you at the photo shoot later. 383 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,256 [laughs] Oh, Dublin. That's... Doub-- Oh, Glen! 384 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,967 Um, you're a stunt guy. 385 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,635 Would you say I'm physically fit? 386 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:55,014 - [clicks button] - Oh, sure. You're a right Conor McGregor. 387 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,808 - [stamping] - I'll scrap ya! Motherf-- 388 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:58,976 [water trickling] 389 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:00,602 [recorder beeps] 390 00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:04,314 I can't believe I'm getting grilled by the actual trio. 391 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:07,693 [laughs] I've spent months picturing how you would do an interrogation scene, 392 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,904 and now I'm inside one! Wild. 393 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,948 Y-Yeah, you're really living the dream. 394 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:16,035 Um, can you tell us where you were the night Sazz died? 395 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,369 It's funny you ask-- 396 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,246 Marshall, this script is amazing. 397 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,330 You like it? 398 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:23,375 I love it! I've never seen myself portrayed so accurately before. 399 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,502 "Charles peers shrewdly at the evidence, 400 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:28,422 his keen analytical brain thumping with thought." 401 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:29,840 Does a brain thump? 402 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,800 Well, apparently, this one does. 403 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,844 [Oliver] "Oliver flits around the room, 404 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:36,889 a septuagenarian Peter Pan or a male Tinkerbell"? 405 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,849 Okay, that's just bad writing, Marshall. 406 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,809 - Pick a metaphor. - [Mabel] Aren't you supposed to be 407 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:43,854 printing out the photos we took in the production offices? 408 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,522 Fine, fine. 409 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,525 B-But Marshall, take a look at how you wrote me in the script 410 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,611 because I do not walk like that. 411 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,826 It's classic trio bickering. 412 00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,953 It's my favorite part of the podcast. [laughs] 413 00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,580 God, I love you guys! 414 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,333 [clears throat] But to get back to your question on where I was 415 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,044 the night Sazz died, the truth is... 416 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:11,423 I've been trying my hand at standup. Observational stuff. 417 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,801 I-I'm more of a storyteller than a punchline guy. 418 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,803 Think Jonathan Winters meets Ali Wong. 419 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,348 That night, I was in West Hollywood, doing a set at the Laugh-eteria. 420 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,808 Oh, I can show you on YouTube! 421 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,435 Actually, that would be useful. It's my first time doing this hour and-- 422 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,395 - Uh, that's okay. - Wow. An hour. 423 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,481 Uh, Mabel, we oughta let this kid get back to work. 424 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,858 The only thing he's guilty of is great character writing. 425 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,486 - [excited giggle] - [Mabel] [sighs] I'm sorry, Marshall, 426 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:36,406 before you go, is your beard fake? 427 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,992 Oh God, is it that obvious? 428 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,578 Th-This is supposed to be costume-grade human hair! 429 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:44,081 [Mabel] I-It's a great beard, it's just... 430 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,416 can you tell me why you have it? 431 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,711 Uh-- [laughs] Yeah, this is so embarrassing, 432 00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:52,047 but I-I can't really grow facial hair. 433 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,841 I-It's my first time on set, 434 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,885 and I wanted to sell myself as a "real writer," 435 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,513 and this is the look, right? 436 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,225 Oh, these aren't-- these aren't real either. I have 20/10 vision. 437 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,353 How could a writer of your talent have imposter syndrome? 438 00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,980 Actually, I get it. 439 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,066 Really? You're not an imposter. 440 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,943 Sometimes, I feel like one. 441 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,112 That's crazy. You're my inspiration. 442 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,822 It's what drew me to your podcast. 443 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:20,868 You never pretend to be anything other than what you are. 444 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:21,952 Amateurs. 445 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,705 - Hey, hey. Whoa. - [Marshall] I was gonna say amateurs, 446 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,666 flailing their way to success. 447 00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:29,501 You haven't missed. 448 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,422 I-I mean, look at these murder boards! 449 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:36,425 They're a little homemade, and yet you're-- 450 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,677 You're probably on the verge of a breakthrough. 451 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,095 Finally, someone who sees it. 452 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:42,556 You want me to walk you through it? It could be helpful with the script. 453 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,641 That would be incredible. 454 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:49,563 You'll notice how this is organized around the theme of questions. 455 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,317 The who, the how, the why, and the why now? 456 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,278 You know, we really should contact the MasterClass people about this. 457 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,072 Wow. So, you don't know who the target was? 458 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,409 Oh, no. Th-- Don't look at that. That's not ready for prime time. 459 00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,244 That "Why" section has a lotta different motives-- 460 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:07,372 No, no, th-th-that's not, yeah-- But this. 461 00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:10,417 This is my magnum opus. The "How" board. 462 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,586 Note the timeline. 463 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,422 - This baby's airtight. - It's beautiful. 464 00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,216 Although the-- Ah, forget it. 465 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,968 - [Mabel] No, what? - Nothing. It-- 466 00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:21,511 It's just th-the timing. 467 00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,472 Sazz left a voicemail at 11:07, 468 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:26,308 but her body hit the incinerator at 11:19. 469 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,435 That would mean someone shot from the West Tower, 470 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,520 came all the way over here, cleaned up the crime scene, 471 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,731 and disposed of the body, all in 12 minutes? 472 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,984 It could totally happen. You just haven't thought about it the way I have. 473 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:39,112 In fact, that might be the secret to my crime-solving ability. 474 00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:43,116 I'm able to channel the mind of a killer. 475 00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:45,035 You might wanna put that in the script. 476 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:46,912 [Marshall] Uh... 477 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:49,289 You're still not getting it? All good. 478 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,959 - Let me pitch the murder to you. - [♪ music swells] 479 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,418 Picture this. 480 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,837 [♪ jazzy spy music playing] 481 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,422 Our killer takes his place... 482 00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:58,799 - [cocks gun] - ...or her place, 483 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,926 and waits for the target to come into view. 484 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:04,137 - Minute one, our killer takes his shot. - [gunshot, glass breaking] 485 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:07,182 Can I just commit to male pronouns? It'll be easier. Anyway... 486 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:08,517 Boom. 487 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,395 Minute two, he takes the stairs 488 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:14,314 so as not to run into anyone on the elevator, 489 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,024 but he's gotta be quick! 490 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,859 Minutes three to six, 491 00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:20,404 our killer exits the West Tower 492 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,739 and traverses the half-block to the Arconia main entrance. 493 00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:23,865 [glove snaps] 494 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,326 [pedestrian] Oh! Brazzos! 495 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:30,372 [Charles] Just another face in a New York crowd. 496 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:33,458 [♪ spy music continues] 497 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,545 Minute seven, 498 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,171 our killer enters the lobby 499 00:21:38,171 --> 00:21:41,049 and expertly distracts the doorman on duty. 500 00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,677 [mimics bird calling] 501 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:47,597 Why, that sounds exactly like a black-capped chickadee. 502 00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:51,018 What's a forest songbird doing in my lobby? 503 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:54,896 - [blows] - [door opens] 504 00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:57,357 [Charles] Minutes 9 through 11, he enters my apartment 505 00:21:57,357 --> 00:22:00,027 and removes any trace of the crime, 506 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,362 a task made easier by the high-quality cleaning products 507 00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:03,530 I have neatly organized 508 00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:06,533 in my high-quality cleaning product cabinet. 509 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:08,577 ♪ 510 00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,960 And finally, using what I assume 511 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,337 is one of my missing suit bags, 512 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,547 our killer hoists the body over his shoulder, 513 00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:21,965 - [echoing snap] - and disposes of it... 514 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:26,053 causing the power to surge at exactly minute 12. 515 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,137 ♪ 516 00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,221 [gunshot] 517 00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:31,058 - [power whirring] - [♪ music fades out] 518 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,642 Stylishly done. 519 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:36,521 Huh. I-I'm just saying, in order for it to happen in 12 minutes, 520 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:39,107 the person who did this would have to be extremely fit. 521 00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:42,027 A gifted athlete in the best shape of their life. 522 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,987 You're describing our killer exactly. 523 00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:45,322 No, you're describing me. 524 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,241 - I'll do it. - Do what? 525 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:51,203 The murder. I can reenact it in 12 minutes. 526 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,205 I don't think that's a great idea. 527 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,665 [laughs] Mabel, Mabel, Mabel. 528 00:22:55,665 --> 00:22:57,918 You have no idea what this body of mine can do. 529 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,670 In 1981, I participated 530 00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:03,298 in a 24-hour kickline fundraiser. 531 00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:06,468 - Like a Rockette? - Exactly like a Rockette. 532 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:08,804 It was called "Let's Kick Rickets to the Curb 533 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:11,890 and If We Have Extra Send It to AIDS." 534 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:13,517 We only had enough for rickets. 535 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:16,269 Um, I-I'll test the theory. 536 00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:18,063 Or Marshall can. 537 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,856 You don't have anything you need to prove. 538 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:23,110 Who's proving anything? I'm simply a man in his prime, 539 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:26,905 looking to use his rock-hard bod to prove a murder timeline. 540 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:30,283 Oliver, just the same, you have a lot of things 541 00:23:30,283 --> 00:23:32,285 that Jack Jonk doesn't. 542 00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:34,788 You're sweet, for one. Your... 543 00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:37,332 scarves and... 544 00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:41,294 Yes! And even if only 10% of your stories are true, 545 00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:42,712 you've had an interesting life. 546 00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:46,007 Thank you, but this has nothing to do with Jack Jonk. 547 00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:48,760 Now, here are your photos. I have to locate my athletic wear 548 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,430 and fly through this killer's obstacle course. 549 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,973 [♪ curious music playing] 550 00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:54,057 Bang! 551 00:23:54,057 --> 00:23:55,142 [sighs] 552 00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:58,812 Are you just gonna leave me up here? 553 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,355 Do you want me to stop the clock? 554 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:03,150 No, just help me down. I sunk 20 grand into these knees. 555 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:06,319 [grunts, sighs] 556 00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:08,405 See you punks at the finish line. 557 00:24:10,073 --> 00:24:11,074 [Mabel sighs] 558 00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,659 Okay. 559 00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:17,372 [bannister squeaking] 560 00:24:17,372 --> 00:24:18,498 - [thuds] - [screams] 561 00:24:18,498 --> 00:24:21,001 ♪ 562 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,127 [slurping] 563 00:24:23,336 --> 00:24:24,713 [Oliver yelps] 564 00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:25,881 [street chatter] 565 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:27,090 [pedestrian] Oh! 566 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:29,801 Move it! Kids on leashes should be illegal! 567 00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:31,011 I'm trying to do something here! 568 00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:32,095 - Get back! - [mother gasps] 569 00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:34,806 Hey, hey! Nice outfit, jackass! 570 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:37,767 - Yelling at children? Are you serious? - [Oliver wailing] 571 00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,479 - [Oliver screaming] - You cannot be serious! 572 00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:44,441 [Oliver panting] 573 00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:45,775 How am I doing? 574 00:24:45,775 --> 00:24:47,027 It's been 38 minutes. 575 00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:49,154 - What?! - What happened to you, Oliver? 576 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:52,491 [panting] Well, I got off to a good start. 577 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,618 - No, you didn't. - No, I did not. 578 00:24:56,077 --> 00:24:58,079 I've been on a journey. 579 00:24:58,079 --> 00:24:59,456 I saw things. 580 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,416 I did things. 581 00:25:01,416 --> 00:25:03,627 [voice breaking] I failed. 582 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:05,337 I failed as an athlete, 583 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,672 as a... movie character, 584 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:09,049 as a fashion icon... 585 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,428 as a guardian of the city's wildlife. 586 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:16,097 [normal] I'd rather not elaborate on that. 587 00:25:16,097 --> 00:25:18,308 - Did you punch a bird? - I said I'm not elaborating! 588 00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:20,185 It's not your fault, Oliver. 589 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,688 Nobody could have done that in 12 minutes unless they were superhuman. 590 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:26,775 The only thing holding this murder board together is my timeline, 591 00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:27,943 and it's all wrong! 592 00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:32,531 What are you doing? Oh, my God, you're rewriting my character! 593 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,574 Don't take away my thumping brain! 594 00:25:34,574 --> 00:25:35,992 - No, I-I mean-- - [door knocking] 595 00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,285 Oh, thank God. I'll get it! 596 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:39,788 [sighs] One little mistake, and suddenly I'm thumpless! 597 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:41,248 [door opens] 598 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:44,000 - [door shuts] - [wheels rattling] 599 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,836 Oh, good. You're all here. 600 00:25:46,836 --> 00:25:48,296 I got your wardrobe. 601 00:25:48,296 --> 00:25:50,131 Gee, photo shoot. 602 00:25:50,131 --> 00:25:52,384 Reminds me of the time I modeled for the, uh, 603 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:53,927 great Robert Mapplethorpe. 604 00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:57,931 Uh, just Google, "Robert Mapplethorpe, Lester Doorman." 605 00:25:57,931 --> 00:26:00,225 Of course, you won't recognize me behind the gimp mask, 606 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:03,603 but, uh, it's me in there. Anyway, have fun. 607 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:07,148 - [door opens, shuts] - I never thought I'd say this, 608 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,901 but Oliver Putnam is not up for a photo shoot. 609 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:11,570 [Charles] Me neither. 610 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:14,030 Guys, we have to go to that photo shoot. 611 00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:16,324 [Charles] Wow, Mabel, money has really changed you. 612 00:26:16,324 --> 00:26:18,243 One check and it's, "Hey, check me out." 613 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,704 [sighs] No, look! 614 00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:23,081 It's the pictures you took in the production office. 615 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,375 This shoe print on that tacky mat 616 00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:27,877 matches the one from Dudenoff's apartment. 617 00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:30,297 The killer was up at the production offices, 618 00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:33,174 which means they're probably at the photo shoot. 619 00:26:33,174 --> 00:26:34,301 Shit... 620 00:26:35,051 --> 00:26:37,679 It's like I'm already watching the sequel to my movie. [chuckles] 621 00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:41,224 ♪ 622 00:26:41,224 --> 00:26:43,643 - [shutter snaps] - [indistinct chatter] 623 00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:45,729 [Tawny Brothers] Oh, you're here. 624 00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,273 - This could be triggering. - [Trina] Shoot. 625 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:49,357 [camera beeping] 626 00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,068 [indistinct set chatter] 627 00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,406 [Oliver yelps] 628 00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:58,825 Just wait. 629 00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:00,660 [door opens] 630 00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:04,122 It's an honor to be your stand-in, Putnam. 631 00:27:04,122 --> 00:27:05,582 You, too, Mr. Anaphylaxis. 632 00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:09,961 Yay! You made it! I'm so happy. 633 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,630 Don't you love this concept? 634 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,506 We have all of you multiplied. 635 00:27:13,506 --> 00:27:15,925 Then, we add mirrors. 636 00:27:15,925 --> 00:27:17,427 - [Oliver gasps] - [Bev] It's so confusing, 637 00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:19,679 just like your podcast. Check it out! 638 00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:21,014 Look at this. 639 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,143 [♪ ominous crescendo] 640 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,566 - [shutters snapping] - [♪ runway pop music playing] 641 00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:33,068 Charlie's Angels. 642 00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:34,778 - Aah! - [shutter snapping] 643 00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:36,821 Ron, Harry, Hermione. 644 00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,490 - [shutter snaps] - [quietly] Harry Potter. 645 00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:40,617 - Hm? Oh yeah. - [Oliver whooshing] 646 00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:42,285 Godfather 1, 2, 3. 647 00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:45,205 [Oliver growls] 648 00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:48,208 - Are you sure this plan is going to work? - Absolutely not, 649 00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:51,252 but I didn't have a better idea on such short notice. 650 00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:54,005 Let's take five. Charles, go to makeup. 651 00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:56,758 Tell them we need you to look a little less... [high hum] 652 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:58,176 They'll know what that means. 653 00:27:58,176 --> 00:27:59,260 This way, sir. 654 00:27:59,260 --> 00:28:01,846 [♪ "Contact" by BMGPM playing] 655 00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:05,016 [indistinct set chatter] 656 00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:08,478 [Eva] Howard! 657 00:28:09,187 --> 00:28:11,314 - Howard! Ah. - [chatter quiets down] 658 00:28:11,314 --> 00:28:14,109 Why is this box of Eva Longoria Tacky Mats 659 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,277 not unloaded and laid out? 660 00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:18,947 You think I want dust particles in my nose all day? 661 00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:20,073 What are we making, Dune? 662 00:28:20,073 --> 00:28:23,910 [Howard Morris] Ms. Longoria, I will lay out the Ms. Longoria Tacky Mats, 663 00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:26,746 but I will not be spoken to like a common PA! 664 00:28:26,746 --> 00:28:30,375 I am an on-set documentarian slash talent liaison. 665 00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:33,461 Great. Well, why don't you liaise these mats? 666 00:28:34,587 --> 00:28:37,132 PA, lay out the mats. Are you kidding me? 667 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:41,010 Eva, thanks so much for playing the crazy celebrity card. 668 00:28:41,010 --> 00:28:43,179 Oh, honey, I've asked for crazier things. 669 00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:45,974 In season eight of Desperate Housewives, I told them I wouldn't return 670 00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:47,892 unless they legalized gay marriage. 671 00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:49,602 And guess what? They did. [chuckles] 672 00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:51,187 You're welcome, gays! 673 00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:53,273 [indistinct set chatter] 674 00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:58,153 [♪ "Contact" continues playing] 675 00:29:00,613 --> 00:29:03,575 [gasps] Oh, I get the plan now. 676 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:05,785 See, I'm a visual learner. 677 00:29:05,785 --> 00:29:07,537 Do I have all my Olivers? 678 00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:09,372 Oh. 679 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:12,250 - Oliver. - [Oliver sighs] 680 00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:14,461 Oliver. 681 00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:15,837 I'm Glen Stubbins! 682 00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:17,213 Stubbins, out! 683 00:29:17,881 --> 00:29:19,674 Zack and Oliver, get on your marks. 684 00:29:19,674 --> 00:29:21,342 Wait! Conference. 685 00:29:21,342 --> 00:29:23,094 ♪ Eye contact ♪ 686 00:29:23,094 --> 00:29:26,431 ♪ Ooh, baby, makin' eye contact ♪ 687 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:27,515 [sighs] Okay. 688 00:29:27,515 --> 00:29:28,933 [clears throat] 689 00:29:28,933 --> 00:29:31,102 Have you read the new changes to the script? They're awful. 690 00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:32,520 What changes? 691 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,022 For some reason, and don't ask me why, 692 00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:37,942 it seems as Marshall has done a insecurity pass on your character. 693 00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:40,361 "Oliver stares at the murder board, 694 00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:43,406 "insecurely wondering who the killer is. 695 00:29:43,406 --> 00:29:44,991 "He flits around the room, 696 00:29:44,991 --> 00:29:48,203 an insecure Peter Pan or an insecure Tinkerbell." 697 00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:49,954 Okay, you know, this is all about Jonk. 698 00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:51,080 Jack Jonk? 699 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:52,749 - Mm-hmm. - [Glen Stubbins] Hey! Hey! 700 00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:55,043 - [laughs] That dude fucks. - [Glen] Aah! Bastards! 701 00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:56,127 Hard. 702 00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:58,254 We did a gender-bent take on Snow White, 703 00:29:58,254 --> 00:30:00,089 and he jonked all seven of the dwarves. 704 00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,426 You could hear them hi-ho-ing from his trailer. 705 00:30:05,845 --> 00:30:09,015 He's playing my girlfriend's new love interest on her show. 706 00:30:09,015 --> 00:30:10,600 Ah, sorry. 707 00:30:11,851 --> 00:30:13,144 Well, [stammers] you know, 708 00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:15,814 maybe he didn't jonk all seven. It could've been... 709 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:17,190 could've been five. 710 00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,733 [Trina] Try one back-to-back. 711 00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:21,820 You share a vertebrae and a shameful secret. 712 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:24,197 Shame-- A shameful secret. Okay. 713 00:30:25,907 --> 00:30:27,575 [shutter snapping] 714 00:30:27,575 --> 00:30:28,993 [Tawny] Now, turn around. 715 00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:30,787 Wiener-to-wiener. 716 00:30:31,871 --> 00:30:34,582 - W-- - Stubbins! Show 'em. 717 00:30:34,582 --> 00:30:36,042 Penis... 718 00:30:36,042 --> 00:30:38,127 ♪ Just by makin'... ♪ 719 00:30:38,127 --> 00:30:40,213 [shutter snapping] 720 00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:42,590 ♪ Eye contact ♪ 721 00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:45,176 ♪ Makin' eye contact... ♪ 722 00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:47,929 Thank you. 723 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:50,682 - Charles-- Oh, I'm sorry. - Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. 724 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:53,184 - My bad, I'm sorry. - [awkward chatter] 725 00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:56,187 [♪ curious music playing] 726 00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:58,231 What, are we dancing? 727 00:30:59,482 --> 00:31:00,984 Two people. 728 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:03,278 That's it. 729 00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:04,487 ♪ 730 00:31:04,487 --> 00:31:07,073 My brain is back to thumping. 731 00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:09,993 Okay... 732 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,996 [Marshall] The only thing that gets you over imposter syndrome 733 00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:16,082 is actually doing the thing you wanna be better at. 734 00:31:16,082 --> 00:31:19,544 Mabel, I figured out the how. 735 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:23,089 It wasn't one person who did the murder. It was two. 736 00:31:23,089 --> 00:31:26,301 One to shoot and one to clean up. 737 00:31:26,301 --> 00:31:28,970 - [♪ music building] - Now, which two people coulda done it? 738 00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:32,891 [Marshall] Putting ideas together till they make some kind of sense. 739 00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:36,644 Until you've got something that you did, 740 00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:39,522 something you figured out. 741 00:31:39,522 --> 00:31:41,190 [shutter snapping] 742 00:31:41,190 --> 00:31:43,359 Or it all makes less sense, 743 00:31:43,359 --> 00:31:45,945 and then it's time for another rewrite. 744 00:31:45,945 --> 00:31:48,031 [shutter snapping] 745 00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:51,659 [♪ music building] 746 00:31:54,954 --> 00:31:57,916 Oh, Trina, he's off his mark. Can you move him? 747 00:32:01,502 --> 00:32:02,503 [Oliver wails] 748 00:32:02,503 --> 00:32:03,588 [quietly] Thank you. 749 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,426 [shutter snapping] 750 00:32:10,511 --> 00:32:12,597 ♪ 751 00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:13,681 [gunshot] 752 00:32:13,681 --> 00:32:14,766 [body thuds] 753 00:32:15,391 --> 00:32:16,392 [shuts door] 754 00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:19,228 [zipping bag] 755 00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:21,147 ♪ 756 00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:22,440 [shutter snaps] 757 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,234 Oh, my God, you're totally right. 758 00:32:25,234 --> 00:32:27,028 They could've done this. 759 00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:30,281 [♪ music building] 760 00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:32,659 [shutter snaps] 761 00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:36,537 Where's the other Brothers sister? 762 00:32:36,537 --> 00:32:37,622 [shutter snaps] 763 00:32:40,541 --> 00:32:43,878 [♪ music swells] 764 00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:45,380 - [gunshot] - [people screaming] 765 00:32:45,380 --> 00:32:47,840 - [crew member] Gun! - [Howard] Oh, my God, they've been shot! 766 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,343 [people screaming and shouting] 767 00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:51,970 [fading out] 768 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:55,056 [♪ solemn music playing] 769 00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:17,996 ♪ 770 00:33:43,104 --> 00:33:45,106 [♪ music fades out] 771 00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:48,109 [♪ fanfare playing]